Helping Your Kids Understand Their Sibling's Fetal Alcohol ...

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8What Can I Do To Help MyChildren Cope With <strong>Their</strong>Sibling’s FASD?You can help siblings adjust in severalways:■ Give each of your children individual timewithout interruption. You might need helpfrom your spouse or partner, a friend, or arelative. But it’s important for your kids toknow that they don’t have to have a disabilityto get your attention. You may want toschedule individual time with each child.■ Assure your children who don’t have anFASD that their feelings are okay. Askthem how they feel about having a siblingwith an FASD. Encourage them to expresstheir feelings openly.■ Help your children accept their sibling’sFASD. They can be angry about the FASDbut they still have to be nice to their sibling.After all, no one chooses to have an FASD.You can teach them ways to deal with anybad feelings that arise, such as leaving theroom, counting to 10, or writing about it.Anger management skills help in any relationship.■ Remind your child that differences makethe world more interesting. People withan FASD are different, but they aren’t bad.And we’re all human. A sibling with anFASD may do embarrassing things sometimessuch as being clumsy or interruptingothers. But guess what? The child without anFASD might embarrass his or her sibling attimes too.■ Look for ways to play up the strengthsof your child with an FASD. Try to findactivities that he or she can do well. Giveyour children a chance to see the childwith an FASD doing good things that thewhole family can be proud of, such as participatingin Special Olympics orhelping at a nursing home.■ If your children want to help theirsibling, encourage them. But don’tpressure them to help out. Relationshipsbetween siblings should embrace friendshiprather than caregiving. Treat the child whodoes not have an FASD as a child, not as
another caregiver. Don’t ask your child to take on responsibilitiesfor which he or she is unprepared.■ Help your children learn to communicate with their siblingwith an FASD. People with an FASD may have trouble understandinglong sentences with many parts. They also may have difficultyfollowing multiple directions. Remind your kids to useshort words and sentences and to break things into steps. Forexample, if you want the child with an FASD to come downstairsfor dinner, go upstairs and say that it’s dinnertime. Then lead thechild to the table.■ Suggest positive reinforcement. Tasks that we take for grantedcan be difficult for someone with an FASD. Even a simple “thankyou” can mean a lot. Encourage your children to praise their siblingwith an FASD if he or she gets something right or does somethingwell.■ Provide siblings with choices and include them in decisionmaking.Discuss family matters with your children,especially if it affects them personally. Don’t makeassumptions. You might think that your childrenwon’t want to go to the mall because their siblingwith an FASD mightget overstimulated and act out. They might surpriseyou and say they don’t mind. Also talk witholder children, teens, and young adults about thefuture. For example, who will take care of the9
Page 2 and 3: ACKNOWLEDGMENTSThis booklet was pre
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Page 14: Additional ResourcesThe Arc, 1010 W

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