Preemie News Winter 2009 - Mount Sinai Hospital

From The NICU To Starting SchoolBy Kristen ChristieThe entire night before September 4, 2008 all I kept thinkingabout was how far Emma had come. How far we all hadcome. Four years before we had been sitting in the NICU,Em was vented, we were waiting to head over to HSC for aPDA ligation, her weight had sunk to 1lb 10 ounces and wehad not one clue as to what the future would hold. Wecouldn’t even begin to imagine what the next day in hospitalwould bring, much less imagine four years into the futurewith Emma starting school. That seemed a possibility soextreme we didn’t even dare to dream it.Still, there I was, four years later getting things ready forEmma’s first day of school. As I bathed her the night beforeI cried. As I laid her outfit on her bed for the next day Icried. As I tucked her in for the last time as my little girlwho spent her days with me, I cried. I cried when my alarmwent off in the morning. I cried as I made breakfast. I cried getting her up.I cried getting her dressed. When it came time to take the obligatory first day of school pictures Istopped crying briefly so I could get a decent shot. Still, as Scott, Emma and I all headed over to theschool I put my sunglasses on and began quietly crying again.It was a staggering flood of emotions as we took the short two minute walk to school. I could sovividly remember every time I thought I might lose her. Here I was walking her to school and I feltlike I was losing again. I was losing the little part of my girl whose world revolved around me. I waslosing that to the world of junior kindergarten. Even with the loss that I felt, there was an enormoussense of pride. As I saw all the other kids coming to school that morning I wondered how many ofthem had to fight as hard as Emma to get to this point. I knew how bravely my little girl had foughtto get to the point she was now at. I watched her world fill with excitement as we got closer to herdoor. As she saw friends that she remembered from play group arrive as they were also in her class.What could have potentially been a daunting experience for her, she just jumped right on top off.I started to then imagine all the amazing possibilities that the world had in store for her. I started towonder what subjects she would excel in and what ones she would desperately try to convince methat she had no homework in! I wondered who her best friends would be. I started to imagineeverything good that could come her way. As she headed into school that morning with her blondhair flying, her princess back pack bouncing, a quick wave to Scott and I along with “I love you” I feltgrateful. I still felt that I was losing a piece of my little girl, I was still crying, I wasstill proud but most importantly I was grateful. I was grateful to every nurse,doctor, RT, LC, social worker, chaplain, friend and family member whohelped get her this far. Even more important, than that, I was grateful toEmma. Grateful to her, for having this amazing inner resilience to justkeep going. Whatever odds are in front of her she just keeps going.Emma is spectacular. She is filled with love and hope and every goodthing for the future. She is my little 26 weeker who won’t take no foran answer, who believes that anything is possible, who loves school,and who is my miracle. She is taking her classroom and school bystorm, I’m hoping that they are ready for her!3