RSPB <strong>Lochwinnoch</strong>ReserveWildlife viewing all year roundNature trails and hidesVisitor centre open 10am – 5pmdailySuperb RSPB shopWildlife feeding stations and treetoptower viewpointEventsSat 19 and Sun 20 Jan 1pm - 4pmSessions begin on the hourGet Ready for the Big GardenBirdwatch - Birds for Beginnersand relaunch of New Look<strong>Lochwinnoch</strong> Shop!Ever wanted to take part in the BigGarden Birdwatch but don't know ablue tit from a blackbird? Join theteam at RSPB <strong>Lochwinnoch</strong> for aworkshop session ideal for beginnersto birdwatching, to help you learnmore about common garden birds andpick up tips and advice on how to joinin with the Big Garden Birdwatch!Cost: £5 or £2 for RSPB members.Drop in session, no need to book.The Big Garden Birdwatch itselftakes place on26 and 27 JanuarySat 26 and Sun 27 Jan 10am -4pm Binocular and telescopedemonstrationAn opportunity to choose from a widerange of competitively pricedbinoculars and telescopes, including RSPBbrand, with the added bonus that 100% ofthe profits go directly to helpingconservation. FREE expertadvice available all weekend.MisheardWe’ve probably all done it sometime.You hear a song, it sticks in your head,you sing it to yourself but you didn’tquite catch all the lyrics, so you fill inthe gaps as best you can. To others, theresult can be very amusing.Probably the most famous example isJimi Hedrick’s’ song ‘Purple Haze’ inwhich the line “’scuse me, while I kissthe sky” was so often misinterpretedas “’scuse me, while I kiss this guy”that an amused Jimi started to includeit in his own concerts and laughinglypretended to kiss one of the bandmembers. He even included it on oneof his albums.Here are a few more lyrics sung (andoverheard) not as originallyintended:The Pointer Sisters’ ‘Jump for YourLove’ has “Jump if you want to tastemy kisses in the night” which became“Jump if you won’t take my ketchupin the night”Some songs seem to be particularlyvulnerable to this phenomenon.Dolly Parton and Kris Kristoffersonsang “Islands in the Stream”. Thesame line has been variously: Ireland's industry Eyelids in the street I intend to scream I'm in dentistry Items in the street; trashis what we are I love industry. Let's godrive a car. Timex Industries that iswhat we arePink Floyd’s Another brick in thewall is another sufferer. The line “Nodark sarcasm in the classroom”gets this treatment: The ducks are hazards inthe classroom More orgasms in theclassroom (teachers?) No dogs are spazzin' in theclassroom No Dukes of Hazard in theclassroom Teacher leave them DukesaloneThen there are the artistes who sufferparticularly badly. Take Abba asexample: “See that girl, watchthat scene, diggin’ the dancingqueen” became: See that girl; watch herscream, kicking thedancing queen Dancing Queen, eat a beanoff the tambourineOr “Take a chance on me”became: Chicken dance on meOr “I was sick and tired ofeverything, when I called youlast night from Glasgow”became: I was tired of being thin,when I called you lastnight from TescoAnd “Chiquitita, tell me what'swrong“ becomes :16 Take your teeth out, tell mewhat’s wrong Kick her teeth out, tell mewhat's wrong Chicken Tikka, tell mewhat’s wrongA mum heard her young child in theback of the car innocently singingMamma Mia as “Diarrhoea, here Igo again...”Listen carefully when someone issinging their party piece – it may notbe exactly as the lyricist intended butfunnier.Heartfelt 10thAnniversaryNext year will be the 10th anniversaryof <strong>Lochwinnoch</strong>’s Marc McCay havinga heart transplant!At 15 Marc was a keen footballer, topstriker for Linwood Rangers, neverbeen ill in his life.One day he felt too ill to attendfootball training and his worriedmother took him to the surgery. Thedoctor examined Marc, diagnosed thata virus had attacked his heart (viralcardiomyopathy) and immediatelyordered an ambulance.Marc’s frantic parents, Linda andNorrie, were told Marc would diewithout a heart transplant and he wasso weak that he might not even survivethe journey to Newcastle for thetransplant. Marc was unconscious andonly woke two weeks later after thetransplant.Linda, Marc’s mother said “We havelived in the village for 23 years; Marcattended <strong>Lochwinnoch</strong> nursery andschool here. We have had immensesupport from all our family/extendedfamily and neighbours in the village.“I am organising a fundraising eventto mark the 10th anniversary and Iwill need a lot of support. We hope tohost a football tournament/charitynight at Lochbarr Centre.The money I want to raise will go toDonor Family Network. This is run bythe mum and dad of my son’s donor.We’ve just made contact with themafter a posting on Facebook.”You can see from the photos that Marcis healthy today thanks to histransplant and the generosity of hisdonor’s parents.The Donor Family Network aims tosupport donor families and promoteorgan and tissue donation.www.donorfamilynetwork.co.uk
Walk to the StationHave a look at <strong>Lochwinnoch</strong> Station, they said,it’s been done up ... so I did.On a day of goldall buttercup and waving rushI took the path by our local Loch to the Bird Reserveand crossed.What a path to walkjust to get to a stationwith willow and broom and the plain sheuch bushlike mist to breatheand daisies and tiny forget-me-not eyesto wink up at our feetand tansy yellow brightand silver to left and rightin a sparkle of light.At the Station I sat on a blue-painted seatsaw barrels of flowers from a gardenorderly, neat,planted like in the thirties, blue and red.Overheada blackbird sangand beyond him a choirof birds from the Sanctuary over the roadthen fainter and fainterviolining infrom further Renfrewshire.A train trundled by on its way to the cityin a rumble of sounda quick stopthree women stepped outand then it was off.Quiet came backand birdsongrippling along the railway track.Open your earsand open your eyes -this is <strong>Lochwinnoch</strong>not Adelstrop.Somebody did it up.Betty McKellar“For all of you who did it up.”17
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