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2 The World News® April 2006Golden Oldies Humorby Stan GoldsteinThe World News is a monthly publication of On Top of the World Communities in MarionCounty, Florida. This publication is written and prepared by On Top of the World residents forour neighbors and those interested in becoming a part of our community. The World Newsstrives to publish only “good, informative news.”(352) 854-0248The World News, On Top of the World Communities, Inc.8700 SW 99th St. Road, Ocala, FL 34481Publisher: Ken ColenEditor: Lynn Peithman StockPhotographer:Larry ResnickDistribution:Ray UtissProduction Staff:Proofreaders:Margaret AdamsGitte AgarwalMargitta ClaterbosLennie RodoffMaxine RosenbergJerry ThompsonTypists:Ruth BarnashK. BauerSherry SurdamThe World News is partially subsidized by advertising, and advertisers appreciate yourpatronage. Your support helps them and us. Management of On Top of the World Newsdoes not endorse or sanction any product or service by advertisers contained withinthis publication. Management reserves the right to accept, deny or edit content of adsand requests for advertising space by advertisers. For advertising rates, please call 854-0248. Fax: (352) 854-0248. E-mail: otownews@otowfl.comDownload a PDF of the World News at www.otowinfo.comClue: This 17-year-old now singsballads at karaoke and has his owngroup of swooners. See answer onPage 27.Heading North?Download a PDF of the World News atwww.otowinfo.comWood ShopRay UtissThis is the last time I will be able to remindyou of our upcoming picnic. Thisinformation was published before, but itnever fails that someone does not get themessage. If you miss the picnic, you willmiss a fun time.It will be held on Saturday, April 8, at11:30 a.m. in the Picnic Pavilion. The picnicis open to all Wood Shop members andtheir guests, free of charge.The Wood Shop will provide hot dogs,hamburgers, sodas, paper plates and condiments.Members are requested to bring acovered dish to share.Think about bringing an item for “showand tell.” If you wish, your show and tellitem could be raffled off. Tom Jellifer hasdonated a computer clock and Jim Horlerhas donated a pen set to be raffled. All proceedswill go towards improving your WoodShop and keeping our dues from increasing.Our social activities are always fun,thanks to our dedicated members. PaulBronsard and his helpers will be providinga good time for all. OTOW Computer ClassesApril — July 2006Course Day & Time Dates Place InstructorBasic Computer Tuesday 1-2:20 p.m. April 18 Health & Recreation Stephanie RohdeBasic Computer Tuesday 1-2:20 p.m. June 13 Health & Recreation Stephanie RohdeBasic Computer Tuesday 1-2:20 p.m. July 25 Health & Recreation Stephanie RohdeComputer Maintenance Wednesday 1-2:20 p.m. May 31 Health & Recreation Stephanie RohdeComputer Maintenance Thursday 1-2:20 p.m. July 27 Health & Recreation Stephanie RohdeBasic Computer II Wednesday 1-2:20 p.m. April 19 Health & Recreation Stephanie RohdeBasic Computer II Wednesday 1-2:20 p.m. June 14 Health & Recreation Stephanie RohdeBasic Computer II Wednesday 1-2:20 p.m. July 26 Health & Recreation Stephanie RohdeComputer Purchasing Monday 1-2 p.m. July 24 Arbor Club (Room TBA) Stephanie RohdeBasic Internet Thursday 1-2:20 p.m. May 11 Health & Recreation Stephanie RohdeBasic Internet Friday 1-2:20 p.m. July 28 Health & Recreation Stephanie RohdeOutlook Express Wednesday 1-2:20 p.m. May 10 Health & Recreation Stephanie RohdeBASIC COMPUTER — If you're new to computers, want to begin a fascinating journey or have never purchased acomputer, this first class is perfect for you. In a very understandable fashion, you'll be introduced to hardware, software,and terminology that will allow you to speak the language. You'll learn exactly what you need - equipment andconnections (ISP). Find out what the computer can do for you. Informative, understandable, interesting, and fun. E-ZRegistration $25 per person.BASIC COMPUTER II — Know the basics? Now continue your journey. Distinguish among CD-ROM, CD-R, CD-RW,DVD-ROM, DVD-R, DVD-RW, disks and drives. Sound confusing? Then take this class. You’ll learn about wordprocessing, spreadsheets, and databases – what they are, how they interact with each other, and most importantly, howthey can make your life easier. E-Z Registration $25 per person.BASIC INTERNET — This course is designed for those who are familiar with a computer and mouse. Learn how todifferentiate an e-mail from an instant message (IM), about chat rooms, newsgroups and Web surfing. Learn the meaningof browsers, favorites, bookmarks, and search engines. Explore various web sites and how to make safe on-linepurchases. Know how "on-line banking" and "bill-paying on-line" differ. E-Z Registration $25 per person.BASIC WORD PROCESSING — Via Microsoft Word teaches you opening, closing, save vs. save as, views, page set-up,shortcuts, print and print preview, print, clipboard, tables, table of contents, fonts, headers and footers, page numbers,page break, symbols, bullets, numbering lists and more. Your computing becomes more advanced, efficient and actuallysimpler. E-Z Registration $25 per person.COMPUTER PURCHASING — This class is designed for individuals who are familiar with a computer and mouseespecially if you are planning on buying a computer soon. You'll learn purchasing tips on what, how, why and where tobuy the items you need to become "computer savvy." This class will also introduce you to the concept of connectingcomputers, better known as "Networking." By being an informed computer consumer, you'll save time and money. E-ZRegistration $20 per person.COMPUTER MAINTENANCE — Learn how to keep your computer working well for 5-6 years rather than 3 years orfewer by performing routine preventative maintenance. Instruction on daily, weekly and monthly PC maintenance relativeto the Windows Operating System is covered. This class is for those who are familiar with a computer and mouse. This isthat "ounce of prevention" that saves a lot. E-Z Registration $25 per person.OUTLOOK EXPRESS — Every Windows computer is equipped with Outlook Express—an e-mail management softwareprogram. In this class you will learn how to maximize this valuable tool. Learn the importance of updating; how tocustomize the main screen view and toolbar as well as the e-mail message screen and toolbar; how to create and forwardrespectful e-mail; how the Windows Address book works—enter or edit contacts and create groups; how to backup,organize, and print. Your instructor has even written a book on Outlook Express. Let her mastery of this enhance yourknowledge and make your life simpler! (This program does not interface with Juno, AOL, CompuServe, or Wal-MartConnect users.) E-Z Registration $25 per person. –Enhancing the Health of Your Communitynew