city of heavenly fire - cassandra clare

male voice:“Come in.”Brother Enoch swung the door open and ushered Jace inside. The windows were west-facing, andit was very bright in the room, the light of the sun as it went down painting the walls with pale fire.There was a figure at the window: a silhouette, slender, not in the robes of a Brother—Jace turned tolook at Brother Enoch in surprise, but the Silent Brother had already left, closing the door behind him.“Where’s Brother Zachariah?” Jace said.“I’m right here.” A quiet voice, soft, a little out of tune, like a piano that hadn’t been played inyears. The figure had turned from the window. Jace found himself looking at a boy only a few yearsolder than himself. Dark hair, a sharp delicate face, eyes that seemed young and old at the same time.The runes of the Brothers marked his high cheekbones, and as the boy turned, Jace saw the pale edgeof a faded rune at the side of his throat.A parabatai. Like he was. And Jace knew too what that faded rune meant: a parabatai whoseother half was dead. He felt his sympathy leap toward Brother Zachariah, as he imagined himselfwithout Alec, with only that faded rune to remind him where once he had been bonded to someonewho knew all the best and worst parts of his soul.“Jace Herondale,” said the boy. “Once more a Herondale is the bringer of my deliverance. Ishould have anticipated.”“I didn’t—that’s not—” Jace was too stunned to think of anything clever to say. “It’s not possible.Once you’re a Silent Brother, you can’t change back. You—I don’t understand.”The boy—Zachariah, Jace supposed, though not a Brother anymore—smiled. It was aheartbreakingly vulnerable smile, young and gentle. “I am not sure I entirely understand either,” hesaid. “But I was never an ordinary Silent Brother. I was brought into the life because there was a darkmagic upon me. I had no other way to save myself.” He looked down at his hands, the unlined handsof a boy, smooth the way few Shadowhunters’ hands were smooth. The Brothers could fight aswarriors, but rarely did. “I left everything I knew and everything I loved. Didn’t leave it entirely,perhaps, but erected a wall of glass between myself and the life I’d had before. I could see it, but Icould not touch, could not be a part of it. I began to forget what it was like to be an ordinary human.”“We’re not ordinary humans.”Zachariah looked up. “Oh, we tell ourselves that,” he said. “But I have made a study ofShadowhunters now, over the past century, and let me tell you that we are more human than mosthuman beings. When our hearts break, they break into shards that cannot be easily fit back together. Ienvy mundanes their resilience sometimes.”“More than a century old? You seem pretty . . . resilient to me.”“I thought I would be a Silent Brother forever. We—they don’t die, you know; they fade after manyyears. Stop speaking, stop moving. Eventually they are entombed alive. I thought that would be myfate. But when I touched you with my runed hand, when you were wounded, I absorbed the heavenlyfire in your veins. It burned away the darkness in my blood. I became again the person I was before Itook my vows. Before even that. I became what I have always wanted to be.”Jace’s voice was hoarse. “Did it hurt?”Zachariah looked puzzled. “I’m sorry?”“When Clary stabbed me with Glorious, it was—agonizing. I felt as if my bones were meltingdown to ashes inside me. I kept thinking about that when I woke up—I kept thinking about the pain,and whether it hurt when you touched me.”Zachariah looked at him in surprise. “You thought about me? About whether I was in pain?”