Working with Battered Women: a Handbook for ... - Hot Peach Pages

What Can You Say To Her To Be Of Assistance?There is information that you can give her that all women who are being abused needto know. You may wish to pass along some or all of this information even if sheindicates she is not being abused but you are still very suspicious.• She is not alone. In Canada one of every four women is, or has been, abused bythe men they live with. It is common for each woman to think she is the only onethis is happening to.• She is not to blame. Despite what her partner or others have said, she is notresponsible for the abuse. All of us have faults and all of us have disagreementswithin a relationship. This doesn't mean we deserve to be abused. Her partner isthe one choosing to be violent—he is responsible, not her.• She cannot make the abuse stop by changing her behaviour. Abusivebehaviour gets more severe and more frequent over time. No matter howaccommodating she is, the abusive behaviour won't stop until he decides tochange.• There are people who want to help. In Saskatchewan, there are batteredwomen's shelters where she and her children can go if she needs a free, safe andsupportive place to stay. But never promise a woman that she can get into ashelter. At last count, 4000 women and children a year are taken intoSaskatchewan shelters, but 2000 a year are turned away because the shelters arefull. If she can’t get into or doesn't need the services of a shelter, she can sign upfor a counselling/support group for abused women in her area. In these groups,abused women share their experiences and feelings with the assistance of atrained facilitator.20