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-‘Undeveloped human beings’So, it’s a beautiful, sunnyand crisp autumn Saturdaymorning, it’s ouronly weekend athome before Christmas,and it’s also mybirthday partytonight! I’vegot a bit ofa cold,but I’mf e e l i n gd e -cidedlychipper -well I wasuntil oneof myButch or femmeFacebook friends alerted me to thispiece of turgid plop: ‘Pope says gaypeople are not fully developed humans’,reported by Gay Star News. Yes,the trusty gay-bashing Nazi has againbeen spouting his lovely opinions onhis seemingly favourite topic – thosesociety-threatening homosexuals! PopeBenedict XVI made the comment in responseto French President FrancoisHollande’s plans to legalise same-sexmarriage in France. He allegedly saidthat homosexuality is a defection ofhuman nature, and is threatening marriageand the family. This comes as noshock - he’s made many commentsover the years about ‘gender-benders’and sexual deviants, so he was hardlygoing to let the issue of marriageequality pass by without comment. Ihonestly can’t understand how equalmarriage threatens anyone. The polarice-caps are melting, we are in a globaleconomic mess, and poverty, famine,natural disasters and pointless wars killinnocent people every day. Yet, it is gaymarriage that threatens the future ofmankind?Why oh why is this spiteful old git stillgiven a platform to spread his rightwing,hateful and - frankly - ridiculousmessages across the world? Surely hisstatements come under the heading ofhate speech? From Wikipedia: ’Hatespeech is, outside the law, communicationthat vilifies a person or a groupon the basis of color, disability, ethnicity,gender, nationality, race, religion,sexual orientation, or other characteristic’.At a time when documents havebeen leaked from the Vatican pointingto financial corruption and political infighting,it seems the only way to divertthe public’s attention away is to pick onthe vulnerable. With his track record ofcovering up for paedophilic priests, hisarchaic, damaging stance on contraceptionand abortion, I can’t see howhe has the cheek to call two people ofthe same sex who love each other ‘undeveloped’and ‘a threat to society!’I’m sorry to burst your bubble, oh holyone, but if anyone is coming across asundeveloped here, it isn’t us.Amen.Heidi O’Hooley-TidowOne of my close friends revealed on asocial networking site that on a recentvisit to a department store, she boughtherself a maxi dress and ballet pumpsfor a wedding she had been invited to.There’snothing out of the ordinaryabout that statement, except that myfriend possesses no other dresses orskirts in her clothes collection. In factnthis friend of mine would err on thebutch side of the dressing up box, soher revelation did lead to surprise ather recent purchase. Well this weddingis today and as I peruse her status updates,she has posted a photo of herself,in all her feminine finery.I have found myself surprisingly troubledby this. Surely it’s up to her whatshe wears - and who am I to judge aperson on their choice of outfit? Is it becausein the same situation, I’d prefer asmart trouser suit, and would alwaysgive the dress aisles of Debenhams awide berth?Or perhaps it’s because I’ve discoveredthat this is a family wedding of myfriend’s and I’m starting to wonder ifchoosing to femme up for it is to avoidattracting attention from some of hermore conservative family memberswho would be disapproving of herusual choice of smart outfit. I can smellthat shame is behind her outfit choice,which makes me upset for her ratherthan pleased. I know that growing up,her parents chose to completely ignorethe fact that she was a lesbian, and thatwhenever she tried to broach the subjectwith them, they made it very clearthat they were uncomfortable and reallywouldn’t want to think about thatsort of thing. Consequently, she’sgrown up with a huge sense of angerand shame, which has significantly affectedher relationship with her parents.In situations such as her workplace, andwith her mates, she is out and proudbut like many of us, her sticking pointis with her folks. It is so hard to be trulyout and proud in front of the peoplewho you fear rejection from most.Coming out to them can be incrediblytraumatic, especially if their response isnegative.Something else I’ve discovered aboutmyself from this, is that there seems tobe a connection for me between whatsomeone wears and what that saysabout their sexuality. For example, on arecent trip to Hebden Bridge, Heidi andI were sitting next to a couple of womenin very feminine outfits, with long hairand make-up. We were both pleasantlysurprised when they started to holdhands and kiss, as we had assumedthem to be heterosexual.Why had we made this assumption?Perhaps like these other women, myfriend feels fabulous in her new dressand has the best time at the wedding.Maybe it says more about my own prejudicesthan anyone else’s? Or is shewearing those clothes because they aremore appropriate for a woman to wearto a heterosexual wedding? It’s complicatedisn’t it? Gay shame can raiseit’s ugly little head in many situationsand it is only that person making thatdecision that really knows whethershame is a factor or not. If my friend istelling me she has chosen a dress forthis wedding because she felt great init, then why do I feel so troubled?Belinda O'Hooley-TidowSmallprint - 88mm wide x 62mm highWomen’s Music Extravaganzaat Mytholmroyd Community CentreSaturday 3 November 20127.00 pm – 11.30 pmstarringClaire Mooney, Fingersmiths, Deep C Divas and more...£5/£8/£10(on the door - 10% discount for advanced tickets)For tickets and further info tel Di 07979342879Fundraiser for The Labrys Trust and women-only event10