Frances Litman, 86, pioneer in the study of parenting - Families First ...

Frances Litman, 86, pioneer in the study of parenting - Metro - The Boston...http://bostonglobe.com/metro/2012/05/15/frances-litman-pioneer-study-p...2 of 2 5/17/2012 9:42 AMBorn Frances Solomon in New Britain, Conn., she received a bachelor’s degree from Boston University and a master’s degree fromthe Harvard Graduate School of Education.In 1946 she married Bertram Meyer Litman in New York City. Last September, they celebrated their 65th wedding anniversary.As a parent, she was “very relaxed,’’ always giving her children “more and more latitude’’ as they got older, her husband said.“She always believed that the most important thing to teach children was how to grow up.’’Their son, Peter of Wellesley, said she supported those who worked outside the home.“She wanted women to be able to undertake whatever activities would be fulfilling to them, without having cultural barriers,’’ hesaid.In 1997, Mrs. Litman told the Globe “a lot of women are better mothers because they are working and fulfilled outside the home.’’She told women to “be the mother you can be, not the mother you think you should be.’’When Globe reporter Barbara Meltz began writing a parenting column in the late 1980s, she sought authorities in the field andsaid that “Fran’s name kept coming up. So I went to her, and she was full of all kinds of wisdom that she was very anxious toimpart. She just wanted to help.’’Over the years, Meltz often quoted Mrs. Litman on topics ranging from bringing a child to work to dealing with stress.Much of her advice was practical and addressed everyday situations. For a column about surviving the morning rush, she toldMeltz: “Don’t be punitive with a dawdler; just show him the realities. Instead of angrily shouting, ‘If you don’t hurry, you won’t beable to eat!’ tell him calmly, ‘You know what? There’s no time left for breakfast. You can eat an apple in the car.’ ’’Mrs. Litman’s daughter Deborah Keefe of Jamaica Plain is an instructor in early childhood education at Wheelock.“She was a strong influence in my life,’’ Keefe said. “Her passion to help families and children became my passion.’’In addition to her husband, son, and daughter, Mrs. Litman leaves another daughter, Bara Litman-Pike of Newton, and fourgrandchildren. No service has been planned.“She was a phenomenal help to us and a wonderful partner, both professionally and personally,’’ Bartley said. “Every time wehosted an event, it was so great to look out on the dance floor and see Bert and Fran. They had a wonderful partnership. They justglowed.’’Kathleen McKenna can be reached at kmck66@comcast.net.0© 2012 THE NEW YORK TIMES COMPANY