Why Diversity? - Counselling Connection

AIPC’s Counsellor Skills Series, Report 3Children who find it difficult to process the information they are hearing find it much easier tolive in their own private world. Greenspan and Salmon (1995) have found these children areusually very dramatic but when asked a difficult question they tend to ignore the questionand retreat further into their own fantasies, compromising their emotional thinking.Stage 6: The Age of Fantasy and Unlimited Power - This is the stage when children fromthe age of four and a half to seven years develop their abilities to relate, communicate,imagine and think. They have a curiosity about life and a deep sense of wonder about theworld. It is the stage where they may start to express themselves fearlessly.Greenspan and Salmon (1995) have named this stage as the “world is my oyster”. There is agreat sense of magic and little boys may imagine themselves to be a Ninja Turtle or a powerranger, while little girls may imagine themselves to be Cinderella or Barbie. The relationshipthey have with their parents and others around them helps to develop greater emotionalflexibility allowing them to work out complicated feelings without volatile outbursts.This is also the time where children may become fearful. For example, they may worry aboutghosts or have bad feelings concerning being kidnapped. In a child who is oversensitive tosound or touch, the fearful side of life can be overwhelming.If all goes well at this stage children start to understand what reality is, while at the sametime still having a degree of fantasy and unlimited power. They have a better understandingof more complicated relationships and become more emotionally stable e.g. they develop acapacity for more “adult” emotions such as guilt or empathy (although empathy is easily lostwhen they are feeling jealous or competitive). Having all these abilities helps children moveout into the wider world (Greenspan & Salmon, 1995).Different Personalities Patterns in ChildrenGreenspan and Salmon (1995) describe five basic personality patterns and the emotionalcharacteristics that accompany these patterns.The Highly Sensitive Child - In the first few months of life, babies generally learn how tocalm and regulate themselves. They usually remain interested and alert, but the highlysensitive baby finds it hard to master these emotional skills. They find it hard to relate topeople, sights, sounds, smells and even the thought of touching dad’s rough beard canoverwhelm them. As they get older they tend to be demanding and clingy.They are upset easily by new situations and may be frightened of children who are moreassertive than them, resulting in increased aggressiveness (through fear) and they maychoose not to play with other children. When sensitive children approach school, their fearsappear to grow causing them to be more vulnerable to feelings of embarrassment andhumiliation. They may also go through fantasies of feeling that they are the “best” whichsometimes results in them being moody, self-centred and demanding.The Self-Absorbed Child - The self-absorbed baby usually seems very content to lie intheir cots playing with their fingers or sleeping. After crawling around the baby whowithdraws seems to be very content just to sit there and wait for a toy. When they becometoddlers instead of wanting to explore like other children they may just want to sit quietly.Withdrawn children are usually interested in make-believe and tend to prefer their imageryworld to reality, therefore being able to communicate with them about real situations such ashow their day was at school, could be a real challenge. Sometimes they prefer to stay closeto mum and dad and will often have only one or two friends. When challenged by anythingthey may tend to give up easily.Page 11