Little Dorrit, Book One: Poverty - Penn State University

Charles DickensBarnacles from three other offices, insipid to all the senses, that Bill was as good as dead and buried when Lord Decimusand terribly in want of seasoning, doing the marriage as they Tite Barnacle rose up in his place and solemnly said, soaringwould have ‘done’ the Nile, Old Rome, the new singer, or into indignant majesty as the Circumlocution cheering soaredJerusalem.around him, that he was yet to be told, My Lords, that it behovedhim as the Minister of this free country, to set bounds toBut there was greater game than this. There was LordDecimus Tite Barnacle himself, in the odour of Circumlocution—withthe very smell of Despatch-Boxes upon him. Yes, to contract the enterprise, to damp the independent self-reli-the philanthropy, to cramp the charity, to fetter the public spirit,there was Lord Decimus Tite Barnacle, who had risen to officialheights on the wings of one indignant idea, and that was, was the discovery of the political perpetual motion. It neverance, of its people. The discovery of this Behoving MachineMy Lords, that I am yet to be told that it behoves a Minister of wore out, though it was always going round and round in allthis free country to set bounds to the philanthropy, to cramp the State Departments.the charity, to fetter the public spirit, to contract the enterprise, And there, with his noble friend and relative Lord Decimus,to damp the independent self-reliance, of its people. That was, was William Barnacle, who had made the ever-famous coalitionwith Tudor Stiltstalking, and who always kept ready hisin other words, that this great statesman was always yet to betold that it behoved the Pilot of the ship to do anything but own particular recipe for How not to do it; sometimes tappingprosper in the private loaf and fish trade ashore, the crew beingable, by dint of hard pumping, to keep the ship above will beg you, sir, to inform the House what Precedent we havethe Speaker, and drawing it fresh out of him, with a ‘First, Iwater without him. On this sublime discovery in the great art for the course into which the honourable gentleman would precipitateus;’ sometimes asking the honourable gentleman toHow not to do it, Lord Decimus had long sustained the highestglory of the Barnacle family; and let any ill-advised member of favour him with his own version of the Precedent; sometimeseither House but try How to do it by bringing in a Bill to do it, telling the honourable gentleman that he (William Barnacle)398