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2EDITORMorgan Browneeditor@massivemagazine.org.nz0800 MASSEY ext. 62136ART DIRECTION & DESIGNSean Walkerseanvictorwalker@gmail.com0800 MASSEY ext. 62064ADVERTISING & SPONSORSHIPJacob Webbadvertising@massivemagazine.org.nz027 894 8000LOCAL CAMPUS REPORTERSAlbany – Tasmin Wheelertasmin@massivemagazine.org.nzManawatu/Extramural – Yvette Morrisseyyvette@massivemagazine.org.nzCONTRIBUTORSMorgan Browne, Yvette Morrissey, TasminWheeler, Charlie Mitchell, Bel Hawkins, KyleSchubert, Graedon Parker, Josh Berry, NathanPalairet, Dick Hardy, Claydan Krivan-Mutu,Anna Tabrum, Sarah Wymer, Ruth Chan, BrigitteMasters, Yasmine Jellyman, Jessica Frank, CamillaRiddiford, Nicole Canning, Ellen WaldenILLUSTRATORS & PHOTOGRAPHERSCharlotte McCrae, Max Scott-Murray,Brodie Nel, Ash Nel, Jacob Sparrow,Iain Anderson, Geofff Deathigan, Sean Walker.Publishermassivemagazine.org.nzISSN 2253-5918 (Print)ISSN 2253-5926 (Online)ISSUE 02/ 2013EditorialIt’s that time of year again. The time of year when yournose starts running. When your throat closes over andyou sound horribly similar to Darth Vader – and you’resure it isn’t just a day-long, particularly shitty hangover.When everyone is sneezing, snorting and snifflingduring lectures and spreading their sicknesses all overeveryone else. When exams are starting to creep closerin the horizon. When you desperately need to study,but the only cure and obvious chance of survival is tostay in bed with soup or tea, or else you just might die.Welcome to Massey University in May/June. Not thatit’s all bad. It’s also that time of the year when at the endof examination road comes holidays, and you can chaseout those colds as quick as Aaron Gilmore got chasedout of Parliament. Or spread them on to University ofAuckland or Victoria University students.As we have now sailed into the eye of the storm - soto speak - the MASSIVE staff also take a semi vacationin this time, with no June issue being produced. We’renow halfway through the magazine year, but not toworry – we’re still an active lot online. Make sure youfind us on Facebook and check out our webpage forregular articles and everything else that’s MASSIVE,including our latest competitions for Facebook likersonly. Currently, we’ve got an Ohakune Mardi Gras trip,complete with accommodation and transport – prettysick! Meanwhile, we’re taking the magazine slow likeDick Hardy does with his dates and will release ournext issue in July, cranking straight into re-orientation.MASSIVE will also have two new staff members onboard next semester to kick us even further into ournamesake. Check out the Manawatu and Wellingtonlocal pages if you want to join us.Since Massey students are an adventurous andspontaneous lot, this issue’s feature interview is witha world BASE jumping legend, New Zealander AnneHelliwell, who was the first person to create a BASEspecific parachute. This month, MASSIVE alsoinvestigates dog attacks and how they’re dealt withinternationally, asks Vice-Chancellor Steve Mahareyyour questions, and chats about topical issues affectingstudents, alongside features with facts you may nothave known about marijuana and hangovers. We’reproud to continue bringing stories from the Englishand Expressive Arts schools to you, with this month’sstory, Shifting through Spaces, as well as talentedMassey photographer Charlotte McCrae’s work for herfinal Honours exhibition, as seen in the regular photofeature.On a more serious note - If Ryan Gosling doesn’t eathis cereal, then neither do I.All the best for your exams – may the force be withyou.Morgan BrowneMASSIVE EditorCome get some Free stufffacebook.com/MASSIVE.magazineTwitter: @massivemagnzDisclaimer:The views, beliefs and opinions reflected in the pages in MASSIVEmagazine do not necessarily represent those of Massey University,its staff, Albany Students’ Association (ASA), Massey UniversityStudents’ Association (MUSA), Massey at Wellington Students’Association (MAWSA), Extramural Students’ Society (EXMSS)or the MASSIVE editor.Massivemagazine.org.nz
3LETTERSOLD FART SAYS“GET OFF YOUR ARSES”Dear Reader,MASSIVE (03/2013) was found by an ‘old fart’ athis daughter’s place, a student of today. It’s entertainingto read what ‘Hardy’ does with his ‘dick’, or how ‘cunt’protected sex is. (p.50 + letters). Don’t get me wrong, Ienjoyed the read and it’s surely the way to reach peoplein this consumer world.In my day (70’s) there was no such thing as MASSIVEthat told us how to have sex or protect us from theconsequences of fucking Profs or tutors, or anyone else,but we did it anyhow. Getting an A+ from a Prof wewould fuck was hardly worth talking about and I guessstill isn’t because of the number of cases. My way ofimproving my chances of an A+ was that I discussed theselective nature of exams in my final exam and got an“upgrade” this way. Or I requested my oral examinationsto be “public” (up to 20 students), so that others couldsee and hear what it was like and to protect me fromarbitrariness.We printed and wrote our own publications at Uni onour own machines, focusing on educating the mindlessconsumerism of society and of course the VietnamWar. Now the war veterans have become celebrities andheroes and we are given a holiday!I had to join the army at 18 (compulsory service),unable to voice my objections in court because I wassimply too innocent to do so then. Consequently Ilearned to set booby traps, lay mines and how to killpeople.Later as a student at Uni the famous Vietnamhelicopters of my army days were replaced by the lessbangy, smaller police choppers and when we heard themcircling over town it meant a demo was on and we wouldrun out of any lecture to join in.Students got shot in the head by cops (BennoOhnesorg) or were deported (Cohn Bendit),consequently some chose a ‘March through theInstitutions” (becoming ministers in much latergovernments – Joschka Fischer), others turned toguns like Bader Meinhof, who in return were suppliedwith explosives by the Secret Service to prove theirterrorist intent. Now the same warmongers on the topcall a bomb in the “wrong hands” a “weapon of massdestruction”. Nothing has changed. Only that you andme pay more for airport security than for the flight!We have been taught to be humble and to pointout “unfair” employment conditions (p.26) instead ofboycotts. In the 60’s workers struck for pay rises of 30%not 3%. In the 70’s students in their tens of thousandsdemanded higher student payments rather than beggingfor student loans. Uni’s had only registration fees andwe got by without selling ourselves to employers whonaturally are trying to make a profit out of everything.“Unfair”? What goes, goes! It applies to “drill it, frackit, mine it” or just sell what is not yours. It applies toprivate enterprise and our elected governments that sellthe place under your arse. We are sitting on our arses allthe time, that’s the problem!” (p.21)Jochen (keeping my second name to myself to protectmy daughter)GIRL SEEKS SOME ‘MASSIVE’ LOVEHey MassiveI walked past you guys the other day and got helpfrom the nice guy at the admin desk. I was just wantingto know if the designer, Sean, was single. Me and myfriend thought he was a bit of a babe and keep peekingthrough the door to spy on him, hehe. Maybe he’llnotice and maybe be keen? Anyway – thanks for beingsuch a cool magazine!Just another shy girlWHATEVER YOU DO, DON’T SHOOT AHOOKER WITH A CROSSBOWHello Massive Magazine,It’s been a rough year for me. I come from a fairly welloff family, with quite a bit of sway in the political sphere.We are well regarded by some and hated by many, butwe have always maintained a level of respect. My fatherwas recently killed in a hunting accident, meaning thatI’ve had to fill his shoes around the place. Bastard nevertaught me much about what he does though. Mother isa self-centred bitch who has never really been good formuch other than manipulation and bringing childreninto the world – pity, she is pretty and could have beenMASSIVE welcomes letters of all shapes and sizes.They should be preferably emailed to editor@massivemagazine.org.nz although they can bedropped into any students’ association office. Theeditor reserves the right to edit, abridge or justplain bastardise them and can refuse any that are inbad taste or defamatory.EVERY LETTER WINS! All letters receivea prize courtesy of MASSIVE magazine. Thismonth, it is a 250g bag of Peoples’ Coffee. Emailthe editor to arrange collection of your prize.a perfect wife for someone who cared for her more. Mygrandfather (her father) is an old prick who harps onabout our family name and tries to control everything.His sons (my uncles) are not much better. One is knownfor 2 things: some skill with weapons and betrayingsome promise he made. The other simply drinks, fucksand tries his hand at politics from time to time. I don’tcare much for them. Here’s the clincher though, and thething that really fucks with me: one of my uncles andmother are twins – apparently they’ve been fucking eachother. What the fuck. And guess who I DON’T looklike?If this keeps up, I’m going to the Wall.K. JoffIS HE DOWN FOR THE D?Dear MassiveIs Guru gay or straight? He seems so witty andfunny… my number one thing I look for in a guy. Heseems to be compassionate and caring, as well as knowhow to rub me up the right way (if you get me). Do youthink he would consider swinging my way and going fora dude? It appears that he’s got all the advice for dealingwith the ladies, so it’s a bit of a long shot. Just sayingthough – Guru: if you’re keen on batting for the otherteam in a once-off adventure, I’m your guy. (Please).Sincerely,Dropping like it’s hotMassive IN SHORT
Page 1 and 2: THE VOICE OF MASSEY UNIVERSITYSTUDE
Page 3: FEATURES16Canine Criminalisation: H
Page 7 and 8: 5MASSIVE IN SHORTTHE BIGGEST TOPICS
Page 9 and 10: 7CRISIS IN INTERNATIONAL STUDY VISA
Page 11 and 12: 9ALBANYLOCAL NOTICESTeam Albany at
Page 13 and 14: 11MASSIVE MAGAZINE IS LOOKINGFOR A
Page 15 and 16: 13Vacating your flat for the holida
Page 17 and 18: ve!coffee before you hit the road a
Page 19: 17MASSIVE FEATURE
Page 22 and 23: 20GETTING HIGH: NO LONGER A LAUGHIN
Page 24 and 25: 22It wasn’t long before conservat
Page 26 and 27: 24THE FACE OF THE ‘NEW’ NEW ZEA
Page 28 and 29: 26Our generation was an experimenta
Page 31: 29VISUAL ARCHEOLOGYMASSIVE PHOTOGRA
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Page 38 and 39: 36It’s safe to say, that Harry is
Page 40 and 41: 38ADDICTED TO BASE:INTERVIEW WITH A
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Page 44 and 45: 42and it didn’t work. I have a ho
Page 46 and 47: 443D PRINTING: MAGIC OR MASSACRE?Tu
Page 48 and 49: 46shots before breaking.Thankfully,
Page 50 and 51: 48SHIFTING THROUGH SPACESMASSIVE is
Page 52 and 53: 50FEELING UPBEAT ABOUT A PRIMITIVE
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52Generally our favourite parties a
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54THE ADVENTURES OF DICK HARDY: GAM
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56ASK A GURUHAVE A PROBLEM? GURU CL
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PALMERSTON PALMERSTON NORTh NORThRE
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60UPSTREAM COLOURCHARLIE MITCHELLIt
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62WORKING ADVENTURES WORLDWIDE - IE
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NEW STOCK HAS ARRIVEDVISIT IN STORE
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