Jane Eyre - Pennsylvania State University

was no transitory blossom, but rather the radiant resemblance
of one, cut in an indestructible gem. Moreover, I wished to
see whether you would seek me if I shunned you—but you
did not; you kept in the schoolroom as still as your own desk
and easel; if by chance I met you, you passed me as soon, and
with as little token of recognition, as was consistent with respect.
Your habitual expression in those days, Jane, was a
thoughtful look; not despondent, for you were not sickly;
but not buoyant, for you had little hope, and no actual pleasure.
I wondered what you thought of me, or if you ever
thought of me, and resolved to find this out.
“I resumed my notice of you. There was something glad in
your glance, and genial in your manner, when you conversed:
I saw you had a social heart; it was the silent schoolroom—it
was the tedium of your life—that made you mournful. I permitted
myself the delight of being kind to you; kindness stirred
emotion soon: your face became soft in expression, your tones
gentle; I liked my name pronounced by your lips in a grateful
happy accent. I used to enjoy a chance meeting with you,
Jane, at this time: there was a curious hesitation in your manner:
you glanced at me with a slight trouble—a hovering
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doubt: you did not know what my caprice might be—whether
I was going to play the master and be stern, or the friend and
be benignant. I was now too fond of you often to simulate
the first whim; and, when I stretched my hand out cordially,
such bloom and light and bliss rose to your young, wistful
features, I had much ado often to avoid straining you then
and there to my heart.”
“Don’t talk any more of those days, sir,” I interrupted, furtively
dashing away some tears from my eyes; his language
was torture to me; for I knew what I must do—and do soon—
and all these reminiscences, and these revelations of his feelings
only made my work more difficult.
“No, Jane,” he returned: “what necessity is there to dwell
on the Past, when the Present is so much surer—the Future
so much brighter?”
I shuddered to hear the infatuated assertion.
“You see now how the case stands—do you not?” he continued.
“After a youth and manhood passed half in unutterable
misery and half in dreary solitude, I have for the first
time found what I can truly love—I have found you. You are
my sympathy—my better self—my good angel. I am bound