4 <strong>Fall</strong> <strong>2013</strong> Issue 1 ■ Student Journal by Drew FitzgeraldAs a single male seminarian, I empathize with Trevor Main’sarticle, “Chronically Single,” a reaction to rejection and failure indating, and I am challenged by Laci Parker’s “What if She SaysNO?” a forthright reminder of God’s call for men be leaders in theirrelationships. There is substance in Parker’s article, particularly in thetruth that feelings should never trump the call of biblical manhood.She accurately defines and guides both men and women in initialcommunication in dating, but doesn’t hit the true root of the issue:fixation on finding an ideal spouse.Like Main, I feel the same pressure of Christian culture to getmarried, am all too well acquainted with the sting of rejection, andI understand his conclusion—either there’s somethingwrong with me, or I’m going about this in Men who fearthe wrong way. This conclusion, stemming from rejection willthe pain of rejection and driven by cultural pressure,leads to his final line, “But don’t get wrongoften seekideas, ladies—it’s not a committed relationship.” non-committalThis strikes me as a major problem extending beyondthe reach of Main’s article. It is a harmony,friendships inhopes of romantichumming along with the root-note of single malepassivity.development.Men who fear rejection will often seek noncommittalfriendships in hopes of romantic allow the man toThese “friendships”development. These “friendships” allow theget close enoughman to get close enough to evaluate the womanwithout any personal risk. If the woman is not to evaluate theideal he can easily move on. They risk nothing woman without anywhile the woman is held in an awkward state of personal risk.limbo that’s sustained by male defenses like, “Wearen’t dating, we’re just hanging out.” That’s apicture of passivity and it’s disrespectful. Let’s be real—she knowswhat you’re doing when you constantly invite her to hang out ingroups and she’s likely waiting for you to tell her what’s going on.Plainly: women don’t appreciate being window-shopped.Far too many women wish that men would just do or saysomething, and Parker had the courage to point this out. I wishthat article wasn’t necessary and that men would act as they should,but I’m thankful that she did write it. Most of all, I appreciate herfocus on both men and women emulating Christ in humility andThe Journal is:Editor’s Note: In 2012 we printed some articles on dating and singleness: “Chronically Single,” by TrevorMain, and “What if She Says NO?” by Laci Parker. We invited responses, and here is one that we received.Don’t Date Unless You’re Already Marriedforgiveness in failure: “When the opposite sex disappoints us in thedating realm, we have the opportunity to project the grace we havereceived from God.”That being said, I do see an error which resonates with the samenote that births male passivity: that we will never be content or trulyhappy unless we are married. Main expresses the same sentiment,albeit in a different way. The idea is that singleness is bad and weneed a relationship with the correct person to have the full lifeGod intends for us. This makes an idol out of the partner and, inso doing, places crushing expectation on what a spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend should be.Ernest Becker, in his 1974 Pulitzer Prize winningDenial of Death, accurately sums up this misplacedemphasis: “It is impossible to get blood from a stone,to get spirituality from a physical being, and so onefeels ‘inferior’ that his life has somehow not succeeded,that he has not realized his true gifts…. After all, whatis it that we want when we elevate the love partner tothe position of God? We want redemption—nothingless. We want to be rid of our faults, of our feeling ofnothingness. We want to be justified, to know thatour creation has not been in vain” (pp. 163, 167). Nohuman, no matter how “ideal” or “perfect,” will evercomplete you. That is a job for Christ alone.Furthermore, to be single is not to be aimless.Singleness is profoundly purposeful! Paul teaches us in1 Corinthians 7:32-33 that we have the most marginto serve the Lord when we’re single. It is a time “thatwithout distraction you may give notable and constantservice to the Lord” (1 Cor 7:35). Singleness is not acurse, but a blessing of undivided attention to serve God. If you aremore focused on a dream of love rather than our One true love, youwill inevitably be unfulfilled in singleness, dating, and marriage.Are you using your singleness as an advantage in serving theLord, or are you solely preoccupied with seeking marriage? Your timeas a single man or woman should aim to become wholly committedto the Lord in mind, body and soul—because you have no businesspursuing a spouse if you aren’t already wed to Christ.<strong>Dallas</strong> <strong>Theological</strong> <strong>Seminary</strong> StudentJournal“How do you convince a world that God isalive? By his aliveness in your life, by his workin producing reality in your experience.”— Prof Howard G. Hendricks, 1924–<strong>2013</strong>Editor: Greg RhodeaLayout: Cheol-Houn LeeCo-Editor: Trevor MainCo-Editor: Laci ParkerStaff Writers: Richard Morris,Sten-Erik Armitage, TameshiaWilliams, Nathan Chan, andKimberly PattonStaff Cartoonist: JazmineSánchez LinaresStaff Photographers: DanielleCloss, Paul Chi-Chan Yu
The Church in the WorldPhoto Contest<strong>Fall</strong> <strong>2013</strong> Issue 1■ Student Journal 5TheMainMovieby Trevor Main2nd placeby Mike Saum1st placeby Jenner Francis3rd placeby Kevin Callawayhonorablementionby Daniel DavidUnconditional, directed by BrentMcCorkle, says many things aboutlove, forgiveness, never being alone,underprivileged children, and even alittle on racism—quite a lot to coverin under two hours. A wind lifts thestory of Samantha and her findingpeace, but the film glides shakilyunder the weight of its many themes.With so much to teach this fallenworld, the biggest mistake for Christianfilm-making is trying to say it allin one story.After losing her husband to a fatalmugging, Samantha Crawford (LynnCollins) resorts to suicide. Before shecan complete the deed, two child victimsof a hit and run draw her in toassist them to the hospital. There Samcrosses paths with her best childhoodfriend, Joe Bradford (MichaelEaly), who runs a safe housefor children from the projects.As they reconnect andreminisce on their childhoodand stories of brokenness, Sambegins to suspect her husband’skiller lives in an apartment nearbythe safe house.Of all the things to say forUnconditional, the music score issome of the best in recent indiefilm. Matched with above-averagelighting and picture tones, themusic greatly helps in carrying theimpact of the story, particularly aswe are introduced to the charactersof Sam, Joe, Macon (Kwesi Boakye),and Keisha (Gabriella Phillips). Someof the best camera work is in thesurroundings and atmosphere, as wellas close-ups of particular objects thathelp to describe the characters.Unconditional also handles itsmetaphors really well, particularlythe metaphor of becoming a believer,as seen in the interactions betweenMacon and Joe in the hospital. Thereis also Sam’s story about the firebirdtrying to reach the sun.Based off the life of the real JoeBradford, the movie makes the fictionalcharacter, Sam, lead the storyand places Joe as the mentor for thehero. Because Joe is based off the realman, however, the two charactersseem to struggle over who the leadcharacter really is. Joe’s mentoringattributes come off strong sometimes.Unconditional cont. on page 6
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