Social Sway by Anita Hotty - WordPress.com

cumwad twelveJamie Douglas BellevanceSeptember 14, 1970 ~ May 30, 2005 35 years old, my friendJamie prided himself on his memory…Mathematical equations, phonenumbers. We used to play Rummicube. Sometimes he would cheatand I would catch him in the act, threaten to quit the game if he did itagain – and there were a couple of times I did quit the game!! A fewtimes we played Scrabble. We rode bikes together. He would tell mejokes. He knew which joke was my favorite. I’d tell it to you, but itwould mean that I’d have to say a swearword.We would visit each other. We went to movies. He signed me in as aworker so I could get a discount (I can finally confess, what a relief!).He would feed me and even help me with my laundry and dishes.Jamie always wanted to help – and not just any help, but the kind ofselfless, unconditional help where he expected nothing in return, justthe privilege of doing something for someone else. He was the onewho seemed to always be smiling, never angry, at least around me.He would offer a “Hello” to strangers and friends as he passed themby. I would say these are the simplest ways to describe Jamie.But to me, Jamie was so much more than this. He was my bestfriend. And he taught me a lot about myself by just being the loving,considerate man that he was. We met many years ago. I could not tellyou how long back because I was never much with numbers. Thatwas more Jamie’s bag. What I can say is that we knew each otherfor many years. At first it started with some massages. And mebeing the glutton I am for massages, I loved it!! Somehow he got mynumber, started calling and we effortlessly blossomed into a beautifulfriendship.But it took me a long time before I really understood Jamie as a friend,and how much he really has to offer. I did a paper on him a longtime ago and learned about his disability, that he fell from a tree fortwhen he was ten, was in a coma for a long three to four months. Itwas then that I started to look at myself and my own biases. I wouldoften refer to Jamie as the guy who can’t swallow, as if to warn otherpeople about his handicap. And I started to ask myself why I did this?Because he was my friend first, not a disability. So I stopped for themost part because I realized that by introducing him this way, I wasnot being a good friend.I was not his worker. Not even close, although people often assumedI was. Sometimes it would bother me because it shows how quickpeople are to stereotype. But at the same time, people also knew IJOIN 204