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"abusable nonfriends" that agreed to carry an extra bag!An important lesson <strong>Pia</strong> had to learn was how to strike a balancebetween delegat<strong>in</strong>g tasks <strong>and</strong> do<strong>in</strong>g them herself. Whether itwas choos<strong>in</strong>g the performers who would welcome us with a colorfulcultural show of traditional song <strong>and</strong> dance, f<strong>in</strong>d<strong>in</strong>g the gypsyb<strong>and</strong> to play at the reception, or driv<strong>in</strong>g around the woods to lookfor moss for table cards, there was noth<strong>in</strong>g this bride would not doto make sure she would get the level of quality she sought.A few days before the <strong>wedd<strong>in</strong>g</strong>, however, she learned to let go.Irene says, "Her plan worked but at the same time everyone wasgiven a little rope to make judgment calls. Everyone understoodwhat needed to happen, but we had our own <strong>in</strong>st<strong>in</strong>ct which we usedto decipher what needed to be done <strong>in</strong> order to make it happen."Preparations may have been elaborate but there were personaltouches everywhere. Guests received a welcome packet conta<strong>in</strong><strong>in</strong>ga "Schedule of Events" that <strong>in</strong>cluded a list of the couple's favoriterestaurants <strong>and</strong> places to explore <strong>and</strong> a "Visitors Guide"written by the bride, which had v<strong>in</strong>tage photos of Kotor Bay thatshe had been collect<strong>in</strong>g for years. At the <strong>wedd<strong>in</strong>g</strong> reception, herFilip<strong>in</strong>o heritage was evident <strong>in</strong> the capiz shell c<strong>and</strong>elabras, tabler<strong>in</strong>gs, votive lamps <strong>and</strong> ch<strong>and</strong>eliers.Loyal family friend Irene played another <strong>in</strong>valuable role-as theperson <strong>Pia</strong> could rely on to pull everyth<strong>in</strong>g together <strong>and</strong> "crisismanage"<strong>in</strong> the days lead<strong>in</strong>g up to the event. <strong>Pia</strong> says, "Arriv<strong>in</strong>g theweek before, she brought it all together, She s<strong>in</strong>gle-h<strong>and</strong>edly kepther cool while I was panick<strong>in</strong>g. For her, noth<strong>in</strong>g was a problem."The event would not have been executed so flawlessly withoutthe countless people who were will<strong>in</strong>g to do whatever it tookwhenever needed. As Lisa says, "We were there to help but didn'tknow the extent of what we would do. We arrived with free h<strong>and</strong>s."Irene recalls how two friends <strong>in</strong> particular, Bonnet Ugarte <strong>and</strong>S<strong>and</strong>ra Medel, thought they were com<strong>in</strong>g as guests. But when theysaw how stressed the mother of the bride was, they volunteered toassist. Irene says, "Just before the ceremony, I ended up carry<strong>in</strong>gbenches to place <strong>in</strong> front of the church <strong>and</strong> Bonnet washed them!Although that the Filip<strong>in</strong>as were just there "fluffy<strong>in</strong>g <strong>and</strong> prepp<strong>in</strong>g/'Irene says, those activities <strong>and</strong> their "soft touch" skills oftencame <strong>in</strong> h<strong>and</strong>y <strong>in</strong> a culture that does not believe <strong>in</strong> do<strong>in</strong>g th<strong>in</strong>gsthat have never been done before. She says, <strong>in</strong> the sweet voice <strong>and</strong>gestures she used to conv<strong>in</strong>ce them, "It was our job to say, but wecan try now? You will do it for me... yes?"If you're not sure you can rely on your florist, it's also vital tohave someone oversee<strong>in</strong>g the flowers, a friend whose commitmentis so solid she would even miss the <strong>wedd<strong>in</strong>g</strong> ceremony just toensure the reception will be perfect. Bernice says, "When I saweveryone walk <strong>in</strong>to the marquis <strong>and</strong> noticed how every detailseemed to fall <strong>in</strong>to place effortlessly, there was no question-itwas worth it."The bridesmaidswere given a list of tasks to do, <strong>in</strong>clud<strong>in</strong>g putt<strong>in</strong>gplace cards <strong>in</strong>side the envelopes the morn<strong>in</strong>g of the <strong>wedd<strong>in</strong>g</strong><strong>and</strong> h<strong>and</strong><strong>in</strong>g out hats, boas <strong>and</strong> masks to the danc<strong>in</strong>g guests afterd<strong>in</strong>ner to " give a little extra energy to the party <strong>and</strong> allow everyoneto act silly." There was a certa<strong>in</strong> energy <strong>in</strong> the air, perhaps becausepeople had taken the time to travel to this faraway place.The groomsmen were asked to be chivalrous. Dressed <strong>in</strong> elegantmorn<strong>in</strong>g suits, they worked hard dur<strong>in</strong>g the ceremony heldoutside Gospa od Skrpjela, a baroque church built on a manmadeislet deep <strong>in</strong> the crystal-clear bay of Kotor. Aside from escort<strong>in</strong>gguests off the Parisian Bateaux Mouche boat which ferriedpeople from Kotor, the groomsmen h<strong>and</strong>ed them whitepaper parasols <strong>and</strong> fans to protect them from the hot sun. Afterthe ceremony, when Irene saw them dutifully gather<strong>in</strong>g the waterbottles <strong>and</strong> missalettes left beh<strong>in</strong>d <strong>in</strong> the church, she observed,"Never be afraid to ask anybody for help. Contrary towhat many believe, the guests do actually enjoy themselves whenthey are part of the organization."There is attention to detail <strong>and</strong> then there is "attention to detailaccord<strong>in</strong>g to <strong>Pia</strong>." To say that this lady took care of every need herguests might have, thought of hav<strong>in</strong>g or wished to have, is like call<strong>in</strong>ga typhoon a "bit of ra<strong>in</strong>." In her m<strong>in</strong>d, "Never want<strong>in</strong>g gueststo be uncomfortable" meant th<strong>in</strong>gs like provid<strong>in</strong>g scented cooltowels, water <strong>and</strong> snacks on the bus to cool us off after the boatride, arrang<strong>in</strong>g for all the women to have a pre-<strong>wedd<strong>in</strong>g</strong> appo<strong>in</strong>tmentat the local hair salon, or my personal favorite- hav<strong>in</strong>g slippersavailable <strong>and</strong> organized <strong>in</strong>to baskets accord<strong>in</strong>g to size, at theexact moment my feet started to hurt from danc<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> heels!Irene admits that she thought some of <strong>Pia</strong>'s concerns were "overthe top" at first, but recalls the moment when she realized where<strong>Pia</strong> was com<strong>in</strong>g from. "The sun had just set <strong>and</strong> I rememberhear<strong>in</strong>gthe capiz chimes, mean<strong>in</strong>g the w<strong>in</strong>d was up. Just as the girlnext to me said 'Oooh' accompanied by a shiver, she was greetedwith a basket of white 'pashm<strong>in</strong>as'. When the girl said 'Oh my god,what didn't she th<strong>in</strong>k about?' I understood that, from the sixtyeightshawls, the Laduree macarons on the dessert table to themonogrammed cigar box from <strong>Pia</strong>'s brother Paco, this was a crowdthat actually noticed <strong>and</strong> appreciated every detail."As the last songs were played <strong>and</strong> the last of us danc<strong>in</strong>g guestsstarted to fade away, I looked up <strong>and</strong> noticed that not only was thesun ris<strong>in</strong>g, but the full moon was just about to set <strong>in</strong>to the sea <strong>in</strong>front of us. <strong>Pia</strong>'s foresight <strong>and</strong> plann<strong>in</strong>g had created the perfectstage for friendship, love <strong>and</strong> adventure to unfold <strong>in</strong> an effortlessrhythm. As I stood there, frozen <strong>in</strong> time for a moment, the serenityI felt suddenly made the weekend seem more mystical thanreal. It was clear that, although it was their special day, <strong>Pia</strong> <strong>and</strong>Ollie had given us an extraord<strong>in</strong>ary gift-<strong>and</strong> perhaps the moonwas gift<strong>in</strong>g them with someth<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> return. xf1j06 TOWN & COUNTRYI~