MAY 2013 - Assemblies of the Lord Jesus Christ

It still hurts to talk about that long ago day. The anguish comes rushingback, my eyes fill, each breath causes pain. The shock on my husband’sface when he heard about the oxen was heartbreaking. Then we heardabout the sheep, camels, crops and servants. Gone. It seemed impossible. Myhusband was a perfect and upright man that feared the Lord. How could thisbe happening? However, the servant’s voice grew dim, as another servant raninto the room. “Sir, I am sorry, but your ten children...all are gone.” The roomswayed, the sound of my screaming was deafening to my own ears. Our tenchildren were dead? I could not take it in. Ten times I had endured the painof childbirth, only to have it forgotten as each new baby was placed into myarms. Ten lives nurtured to love, honor and respect Jehovah. Now, only tenfreshly dug graves. My very existence as a mother had vanished. Each wakingthought had always been about my ten treasures. What would I cook fordinner? Were their clothes washed and tidy? Would the life lessons Job and Itried to teach sink in? Now what was I to do? My purpose for living was gone.Grief was my constant friend.Weeping, I found comfort in the arms of my husband but not for long. Jobsuddenly became very ill. I feared for his life. I begged Jehovah not to take himfrom me also. I felt as if Satan were seeking to destroy us. Our luxuries weregone. I was begging for bread in the city gates, and now Job was sufferingbeyond anything I had ever seen. Each night, his cries of agony mingled withmy groans of grief. Day after day he experienced acute sicknesses. Again, Ifelt helpless. There was nothing I could do to ease the pain of my husband.Finally, in the midst of longing for my children and desiring relief for Job, Iuttered the words that I would give anything to take back. Words spoken at thelowest point of my life, forever recorded in history and indelibly burned intomy brain - “Do you still hold fast to your integrity? Curse God and die!” (Job2:9 NIV).I wanted to rewind the moment. What had I said? I had spoken so cruellywhile trying to hold onto a thin line of remaining sanity. I saw my husband’seyes fill with more pain. He reached for me, tried to console me with hisdisease-ravaged hands. “You speak as one of the foolish women would speak.Shall we accept good from God and shall we not accept adversity?” (Job 2:10NIV). Those around thought that he had rebuked me, but I know my husband’slove. He did not say I was foolish. He said I sounded like one of the foolishwomen. In other words, “Honey, you do not sound like yourself. It is the griefand suffering that is speaking for my steady, faithful wife. Let’s rememberGod’s promises. Let’s remember His goodness to us even during this trial.”However, those around misunderstood me. They criticized and lookedpast my grief-stricken heart and called it a heart of stone. My arms were emptyof my children. I could feel Satan fighting every second of every day, andnow this terrible misunderstanding. I came to realize the power of the spokenword. I had added one more wound to the many already inflicting Job. I cannot say that I felt Jehovah’s presence, but I do know that I did not feel Hisrebuke. Surely if God was displeased with me, He would have told me. He“Job hastaught usmanylessons, butperhapsthe greatestlesson of allis that Jobbecameintimatewith onewhowoundedhim. In histragedy, hefoundtriumph.”MAY\13 ~ 11