Helping Others Cope With Grief - U.S. Department of Health and ...

A LifeCare® Guide to Helping Others Cope With GriefRemember your co-worker on important days such as holidays or theloved one’s birthday or death anniversary. Send a card, call or visit. Letyour co-worker know that you remember, too.Keep in mind that many co-workers may not want to reach out for help becausetheir loss is so personal or they fear that they may be a burden to others. If yourco-worker is struggling after a loss, it may be up to you to take the initiative andoffer help.Employee Assistance Plans (EAPs) are counseling services offered by many employersto help workers and their eligible family members resolve emotional problems(such as alcohol and drug abuse, emotional and personal issues, legal matters, stressreduction, grief and bereavement and more). EAP counselors are fully qualified andlicensed in their areas of service. They typically include licensed psychologists, socialworkers, counselors and other staff. Usually with this service, the employee and hisor her dependents are entitled to receive a set number of counseling sessions free ofcharge. If applicable, check with your employer to find out if your organizationoffers this benefit or any other type of grief counseling.Helping Children Cope With Grief and DeathAlthough there is always a strong desire to protect children from pain, children (likeadults) may have to face the pain caused by the death of a loved one. Children maybe acutely aware of the absence of their loved one and the emotional tension aroundthem, even if they don’t have a full understanding of what has happened.Children also must work through the tasks of grief, but they must do so with greaterlimits on their level of understanding, less developed coping skills, and with lesscontrol over their external world. While it was once believed that children “gotover” their grief relatively quickly, it is now understood that their sadness and griefis a process that they experience differently as they age and mature. Their understanding,not only of death but also of themselves in relationships, grows as theyage, and they will continue to re-examine and re-experience their loss. This sectiondiscusses how children respond to death, and how to support and guide a grievingchild through the grief process in a healthy way.How Children Respond to DeathA child’s developmental level will influence the way he or she understands death andexpresses grief. Over the course of childhood, children develop an understanding ofthe abstract concepts of death and all of the related beliefs. The following informationoutlines the responses to loss that can be expected, depending on a child’s age.Note—Although these are typical responses, keep in mind that everyone responds togrief in different ways. The child you know may not fit these descriptions at theseages.Infants and Toddlers (ages birth to two years)While an infant will not understand the death of a loved one, his or her behaviormay be affected by changes in routine or the grief of others around him or her.Common reactions may include fussiness; clinginess; disrupted sleep patterns; andPage 8