The Metropolitan

that gem. It is curious that for all his performative tendencies
Peter lacked a true appreciation for his audience. His desire to
entertain was only surpassed by his desire to see people squirm.
If his joke got a laugh, he was pleased, but if a joke offended,
shocked, or embarrassed, he was proud.
JON
Jon was a truck driver who was saving up to buy a cricket
farm. Once he got the farm established, he was going to hire
a cricket farm manager, buy a sailboat, and live at sea off his
earnings.
KIRK
Kirk loved James Taylor and TV shows about paranormal
activities. He debated whether to take his 12-year-old son on
vacation to a tree top village in Oregon or repair his ailing
Saturn.
SALMAN
Salman wore a series of tee shirts that made me want to fall
in love with him. The first one was “I’m for PLoS one.” A shout
out to an interactive, open-access journal for the communication
of all peer-reviewed, scientific and medical research published by
the Public Library of Science (PloS).
I’m a sucker for proud geeks. Men who embrace their big
brains and aren’t afraid to use them. Salman was an astronomer/
physicist. He was clever and jovial. Smart and articulate. He
grew up in Pakistan and had a beautiful accent and a gorgeous
head of hair. He had an amazing ability to take something as
far away and out of reach as the stars and bring them to me
in a way I could comprehend, mostly using references to pop
culture. Although he was a complete gentleman, he never paid
me a single compliment. I kept waiting for one: “You look nice
tonight.” I craved any small acknowledgement and would have
gladly settled for a generic “You have pretty eyes.”
The last time I saw Salman, his tee shirt said, “Who the hell
do I think I am?” I wanted to laugh and punch him.
Passing Time in Los Altos
Liz Gutekunst
The only thing I could say in Spanish
was “No te preocupes”
which meant “don’t worry,” though
I once said I was a “pendejo”
and thought it meant stupid. Oh, no.
I do worry. I don’t speak Spanish.
So the men, delighted, talked at me very fast
at which I smiled and understood nothing.
Though sometimes I would repeat
“No te preocupes.”
Rats
Liz Gutekunst
After Stafford’s “Passing Remark”
I never saw a rat sorry for itself. I never saw
two rats consoling each other for being rats.
Rats live good full rat-lives with other rats. Ratmind
and rat heart plunge them into rat sex with other impassioned
rats.
People say they are poison and ugly and cause disease.
I say people cause disease.
I never caught a cold or syphilis or scabies or manic
depression from a rat.
26 The Metropolitan The Metropolitan 27