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FIRSTLIFE 27<br />
(1) Do as my parents command or (2) suffer.<br />
I’ve chosen to suffer.<br />
I use the blood to create another mark on the stones. Satisfied,<br />
I head to the “bathroom.” There are no doors to provide<br />
even a modicum of privacy, just a small, open shower<br />
stall next to a toilet. For our safety, we’re told. For the amusement<br />
of others, I suspect. All cells are monitored 24/7, which<br />
means at any given time during any given day, staff members<br />
are allowed and even encouraged to watch live camera feed.<br />
Dr. Vans, the head of the asylum, likes to taunt us. I see<br />
and know everything.<br />
A good portion of teachers scold us. Time waster!<br />
Orderlies belittle us. Put on a little weight, haven’t we?<br />
Most of the guards leer at us. They hail from all over the<br />
world, and though their language varies, their sentiment is always<br />
the same. You are begging for it and one day I’ll give it.<br />
Just some of the many perks offered chez Prynne.<br />
Not everyone is horrible, I admit. A small handful even<br />
strive to keep the others from going too far. But it’s no secret<br />
every staff member is paid to make us hate our stay, to<br />
make us want to leave more than anything. Because, the more<br />
we want to leave, the more likely we are to do whatever our<br />
parents sent us here to do.<br />
My friend Marlowe dared to pawn her mother’s jewelry to<br />
buy groceries, and she needed help with her “kleptomania.”<br />
My friend Clay, a drug addict, needed to get clean.<br />
The institution failed them both. A few months ago, Marlowe<br />
killed herself, and Clay… I don’t know what happened<br />
to him. He planned an escape, and I haven’t heard from him<br />
since.<br />
I miss them both. Every. Single. Day.<br />
I begged Clay not to risk a breakout. I tried to leave once,