champions

Engaging with parents
those who have historical issues with
school, are more likely to talk freely
and openly in the comfort of their own
surroundings. The fact that she is not
a member of school staff also helps to
break down barriers.
It takes time to build trust, however,
and she tends to begin by supporting
parents with practical problems that are
relative easy to address. ‘Someone might
call me in because they are struggling
to get their child to do their homework,’
she says. ‘Then over a cup of tea, more
serious issues will emerge, whether it is
money difficulties, a breakdown in family
relationships or the lack of a support
network leading to feelings of isolation.
‘After two or three visits I can begin to
see what is really going on and am able
to direct them in a way that empowers
them. I do a lot of signposting to outside
agencies. I make it clear that I’m not an
expert; I just make suggestions in a chatty,
friendly, non-threatening way: “Have you
thought about this?” or “Shall we do some
work together on that?” and we take it
from there.’
‘It is important that parents understand
I am not there to “fix” things,’ she adds.
‘The onus for doing that is on them. I tell
everyone this from the start, but they
don’t always hear me, or if they do, they
don’t fully digest it. Then, when something
begins to go right, I point out: “You were
the one who made this happen. You were
the one who introduced a new bedtime
routine and stuck with it.” Because it can
be something as simple as that.’
Children naturally turn to Tracy Townrow when they
are in distress
Parents are more
likely to talk openly in
their own home
Empowering parents
The same principle applies to the coffee
mornings she holds twice a week to give
parents a free space where they can
share experiences and expertise on a
range of topics, from bedtime blues and
money matters to phonics and Numicon.
She sets the agenda and provides
Twice-weekly coffee mornings give parents the chance to exchange experiences and expertise in a relaxed
environment
the resources, but after starting the
discussion off, she often hands over to
a parent, intervening to bring it back on
track if necessary.
‘Parents find having that opportunity
very helpful and empowering,’ she
says. ‘They realise they have a wealth of
knowledge to pass on to each other. My
role is not to do it for them. My role is to
enable them to do it for themselves.’
Even when she is offering a helping
hand to someone who is suffering
domestic violence, she does it in a way
that will gradually allow them to regain
control of their lives. ‘When you are
in that horrendous situation, you have
had all your power taken away from you
and you are not quite sure how to get
it back, or indeed if you want to, as the
very prospect is frightening,’ she says.
‘So it can make a big difference to have
someone who is willing to talk things
through with you and accompany you to
meetings.
‘But I don’t go with them to do all
the talking. I am just there to be gently
supportive and restore their confidence,
so they feel that, yes, they can do this, and
they are not just left high and dry, as is so
often the case.’
Addressing practical issues
For parents who face financial hardship,
access to the SHS welfare fund allows her
to procure basic items of equipment that
may be lacking. More often than not, this
will be beds and bedding. ‘In many of the
homes I visit, I discover that the children
haven’t got their own bed,’ she explains.
‘No sooner have they got one, than their
parents are telling me what a huge
difference it has made and, obviously, it
affects how well children engage with
school too.’
In one instance it was the lack of
a washing machine that was having
repercussions on a pupil’s ability to thrive
at school.
‘The child was dirty and smelly, so no
one wanted to play with him, which was
upsetting him and preventing him from
focusing on his work,’ she says. ‘I had a
long conversation with the parent about
something else and then suddenly she
blurted it out: “I’m really struggling. We
haven’t had a washing machine for six
months. I can’t do the hand washing. It’s
too much.”
‘At this point, I was able to suggest
applying for a washing machine without
causing any offence. You can’t say to a
parent: “By the way, your child smells.”
There has to be another way round it.
That is where my skills come in.’
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231 Special Children 13