COLLAPSE OF CEASEFIRE: MEND issues two-week ultimatum

SUNDAY Vanguard
anguard, , JULY 10, , 2016, PAGE
GE 33
How many men after 30 years of marriage still love their wives?
MEN are the strongest
allies when protecting
their philandering
interests. Alex, an industrialist in
his 60s recognized his first son’s
potential as a businessman when
he made brilliant success of his
secondary school exams. Getting
him a place in one of the
universities abroad was a doddle.
As soon as he finished his masters
degree in business admin., Alex
asked Francis, his son, to join the
firm. “I was very happy to,”
Francis said “as I’d helped several
times when I was on vacation.
“I was 25, the whole world at
my feet when dad put me in
charge of production, a
department I’d always worked
with from time to time. We were a
family of six children and dad
worshipped the earth mum walked
on. A close knit family, we always
shared each other’s success and
pain. The day all this changed, I
was in dad’s office, discussing
very thorny problems when he left
me to things and hurried to an
appointment he had earlier. Still
engrossed in figures, I absentmindedly
picked up the phone
when it rang and a female voice
purred: ‘Hello darling
workaholic. When are you
showing your face here? Betty is
anxious to show off the things you
brought back for her from your
last trip.’ ‘Excuse me’, I said,
confused, ‘who exactly are you?’
Oh, I’m sorry’, said this cultured
voice. ‘ thought the MD was still
in his office. Could you tell him,
Sola, his wife called?’ She then
rang off. She obviously thought I
was an ordinary member of staff.
“I felt as if someone had hit me
in the stomach. Of course, I
guessed straight away that, Sola,
the ‘wife’ was my dad’s mistress.
But who was Betty? It took a lot of
diplomacy to find out that most
members of staff knew Sola as my
dad’s second ‘wife’ and Betty was
their daughter. That was when I
realized a serpent had entered the
garden of Eden my family lived
in. Poor mum, she had left a
promising nursing career to raise
us kids. How could dad do this to
her? To us? Over the years, he’d
drummed it into his children how
important it was to be above
board and to be fair in how we
deal with other human beings.
Definitely, deceit was a sin as far
as he
knew. So where do we all go from
here? I’m petrified thinking of
confronting dad, not to talk of
putting mum and my siblings in
the picture. It would destroy the
happy family we now take for
granted ... “ I told Francis I would
give his problem a thought.
Then it occurred to me that I
shouldn’t give the answers all of
the time so I asked a few people.
Yemisi, a married mother of three
was the first to voice her opinion.
She told me: “My first word
which goes to the ‘baby’ graduate
“is, he ain’t seen nothing yet! I find
it difficult to believe we still have
such a perfect gentleman like his
father in Nigeria.’
“Apart from being a successful
businessman, he caters well
enough for his number one family
and still loves his wife after almost
thirty years of marriage. For this
alone, he deserves the ‘Best father
of the century’ award. He again
tries as much as possible to keep
his affairs from his family. This I
believe he does not intend to keep
from at least his first son for too
long. If not he would not, have
asked him to work for him
knowing very well that his
mistress visits his office that often.
“I think this man is a father in a
million. Though it is bad enough
that he has a child outside his
matrimonial home, but then let
us search our minds and see. How
many fathers have such affairs and
still keep a happy home? How
many men after thirty years of
marriage still respect and love
their wives that much? Not very
many men have we known to deny
such a story to a son they educated,
clothed and fed.
“If we all compare our family
lives with this man’s (I don’t mean
the newly married or those who
are five years old in the biz) we
would realize that this gentleman
deserves an applause from us all.
His advising his children to
behave decently does not make
him a hypocrite, after all,
experience they say is the best
teacher. So, I consider this man
who has been in this type of mess
the right person to advise the
young ones.
“To the big ‘baby’, I say grow up
- and talk more to your old man
about his ‘problem’. He needs
your advice as much as you need
his. I also wish you to write and
publish your own love story after
30 years of marriage. In the
meantime, you should let a
sleeping dog lie. When the time
comes, you will be the one to tell
and also give your old woman the
heart to bear the shock of a
supposed betrayal...”
Justice’s male view is typical.
He is 46 and a lecturer. According
to him it is not a sin to get
involved with another woman
and rent a house for her while one
is having an already wellestablished
married home,
provided one has the money.
Polygamy is an indispensable
African custom which we
inherited from our ancestors. In
the traditional society, a big man
such as Alex is supposed to have
not less than 20 wives. Polygamy
is an inherited African cultural
institution and it must continue
to progress despite modem
civilized habits and religious
propaganda.
“The fact that he advised his
children to observe strict
religious principles and run away
from immoral and a scandalous
behaviour does not mean that he
himself is innocent. He wanted his
children to live up to standard
and have a promising future.
“In my opinion, I would
strongly advise the son not to tell
his mother, but to try and be very
friendly and intimate with Sola
and his father, helping them
sometimes to iron out their
differences. The son would be
termed absurd and unreasonable,
if he instantly hates his father and
Sola because of this. He will be a
prodigal son, if he tells his
mother. He must follow this
advice, because he himself does
not know which girls he would
end up with in his search for
marital bliss.”
08052201867(Text Only)
Lubricate your joints and muscles with Press Up
When we accustom
the body to intense
stretching in our
everyday workout, we can
guarantee that in the course
of work or play we are less
likely to tear muscles or
tendons or dislocate joints
because we have made them
supple and flexible.Press ups
will help you reduce injury to
the barest minimum.
PRESS UP
Technique
Lie face down and arrange
the hands at shoulder level.
Get on the tips of your toes and
breathing in deeply, raise the
entire body off the floor
without straightening up the
elbows. Keep them bent to the
level of your sides. Stay in the
position for about 5 seconds,
and breathing out lower the
body. Breathing in again hoist
up the body to the previous
level for another 5 seconds
and lower the body again.
Do this about 4 or 6 times
and then rest a while before
the next posture.
Benefits:
The Press Up exercise aerates the
lungs, strengthens the back, shoulder,
arms and wrists.
The Press Up exercise
aerates the lungs,
strengthens the back,
shoulder, arms and wrists
•The Press Up Pose
•The Press Up Pose
Yoga Classes
STARTED
Physical Therapy Centre
@ 32 Adetokumbo Ademola,
Victoria Island Lagos.
10.00am — 11.00am
on Saturdays