Viva Brighton Issue #43 September 2016

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吀爀愀渀猀昀漀爀洀礀漀甀爀栀漀洀攀眀椀琀栀漀甀爀昀椀渀攀猀琀焀甀愀氀椀琀礀匀㨀䌀刀䄀䘀吀洀愀搀攀 ⴀ 琀漀 ⴀ 洀攀愀猀甀爀攀椀渀琀攀爀椀漀爀猀栀甀琀琀攀爀猀 ⸀ 琀 ⸀ ㈀㜀アパートアパートアパート㠀㐀㈀攀 ⸀ 挀漀渀琀愀挀琀䀀戀攀氀氀愀瘀椀猀琀愀猀栀甀琀琀攀爀猀 ⸀ 挀漀 ⸀ 甀欀眀 ⸀ 眀眀眀 ⸀ 戀攀氀氀愀瘀椀猀琀愀猀栀甀琀琀攀爀猀 ⸀ 挀漀 ⸀ 甀欀
COLUMN ........................................... Amy Holtz The truth is, I’m a Minnesotan “These chillies look good,” I say to my mother-in-law, Pauline, as I lean into her greenhouse. My cousin, who’s over from Minnesota and abroad for the first time, nods. We’re in one of those villages on the other side of the Downs where people get blacklisted for spending less than four hours a day curating their hydrangeas. There’s a barbeque and complimenting the chefs - my parents-in-law - seems like a good way to get fed. “And we’ve got cucumbers. And tom-ah-toes.” Both look green and red respectively - healthy, as far as I can tell. Which isn’t much. “What?” My cousin says, wrinkling his nose and peering at Pauline across the lawn. “To-mah-toes.” “Huh?” “TO-MAH-TOES.” “Eh?” I step in here. “He’s messing with you, Pauline.” “No, I’m not. They’re ta-may-dohs.” He says. “Absolutely not,” she replies, voice high. “It’s TOM. T-O-M-AH-toes. And POT - P-O-T-ey-toes.” “No, it’s ta-MAY-dohs.” “Buddy, you’ve just expertly illustrated one of the reasons everyone hates Americans.” I look for my beer. “Hang on though,” I think aloud, stepping a safer distance from projectiles and pulling up my advocacy chair next to the Devil. “Why shouldn’t ‘tomato’ and ‘potato’ rhyme? They both end in ‘ato’. It’s just the first part that’s different.” The garden falls silent. I can sense her looking for, triumphantly locating then brandishing her trump - because we’re not the only ones with one of those to get rid of. “Because that’s English. You’re in England.” Now, it’s easy to lose track of how often someone says this to me when I’ve lapsed into North American - writing a ‘z’ somewhere, or saying ‘pants’, or ‘trash’, or ‘dude’ or even looking like I might enjoy and vocally celebrate winning stuff. Being corrected is a daily occurrence. So I know there’s really no coming back from this. As an immigrant my keen ears register a clank - likely the gathering of neighbourhood pitchforks - so I signal a retreat. My father-in-law waves his BBQ tongs at me. “When are you going to write about me again for that thing you write?” “Just as soon as you do something entertaining.” I say, rubbing my forehead, still trying to locate some alcohol. He looks at the tongs, as if they might give him inspiration. When they don’t, he wanders into the kitchen to find some more props. When he emerges, he’s got the ketchup and a gleam in his eye. “I’ve been really trying to hide my Americanness since I got here,” my 6’ 3’’ cousin confides. He looks confused. I don’t blame him. All you can do is hope, that after a considerable amount of time - say twenty years or so - when someone discovers you’re from ‘that country’, that they’ll think you’re one of the good ones and just feel sorry for you. “It’s not possible, man. Just keep your mouth shut and if you decide to open it, apologise a lot.” ....37....
Page 2 and 3: Be part of the Lancing College fami
Page 5 and 6: CONTENTS ..........................
Page 8 and 9: THIS MONTH’S COVER ARTIST .......
Page 10 and 11: BITS AND BOBS .....................
Page 17 and 18: JOE DECIE .........................
Page 21: BITS AND BOBS .....................
Page 25 and 26: PHOTOGRAPHY .......................
Page 29 and 30: eeze up... to the Downs... kids go
Page 33 and 34: INTERVIEW .........................
Page 35: COLUMN ............................
Page 41: LOCAL MUSICIANS ...................
Page 44 and 45: MUSIC .............................
Page 46 and 47: Feeling tired? Need a boost? IV Nut
Page 48 and 49: ON THIS MONTH .....................
Page 51 and 52: MUSIC .............................
Page 53 and 54: LITERATURE ........................
Page 56 and 57: 䈀爀椀渀最礀漀甀爀
Page 58 and 59: ART ...............................
Page 60 and 61: Contemporary British Painting and S
Page 62 and 63: at Middle Farm The National Collect
Page 64 and 65: DESIGN ............................
Page 66 and 67: A unique learning community for 9-1
Page 69 and 70: THE WAY WE WORK Adam Bronkhorst wen
Page 71 and 72: THE WAY WE WORK Mr Deighan, Varndea
Page 73 and 74: THE WAY WE WORK Ms Willard, Elm Gro
Page 75: Food & Drink directory ADVERTORIAL
Page 78 and 79: Photo by Lisa Devlin, cakefordinner
Page 80 and 81: you order online and Sussex we deli
Page 82 and 83: 搀攀洀漀猀眀漀爀欀
Page 85 and 86: HEALTH ............................
Page 87 and 88:
FAMILY ............................
Page 89 and 90:
MY SPACE ..........................
Page 91 and 92:
EDUCATION .........................
Page 93 and 94:
WE TRY... .........................
Page 95 and 96:
WE TRY... .........................
Page 97 and 98:
WE TRY... .........................
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Viva Brighton Issue #43 September 2016

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