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JAVA-SEPT-2016

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I asked my Uber driver who he is voting for. He<br />

did not strike me as a Republican, and if his<br />

seven scented-tree air fresheners could talk, I<br />

have a feeling they would tell me that Mary Jane<br />

is a frequent passenger, if you get my drift.<br />

So, despite best practice, I asked my Uber driver who he is voting for. He did not<br />

strike me as a Republican, and if his seven scented-tree air fresheners could talk,<br />

I have a feeling they would tell me that Mary Jane is a frequent passenger, if you<br />

get my drift.<br />

He tells me that he wants Bernie but it doesn’t look like it’s happening, so he<br />

has to think about it. Think about what, voting at all or who to vote for? He<br />

answers, “Who to vote for.” How the hell can you like anything that Bernie talks<br />

about or says or represents on any level and then have to decide between Trump<br />

or Clinton? It’s not hard to figure out if you support a racist or not. I was having<br />

a hard time deciding if I should stay in the car. However, I would have a much<br />

harder time walking home, so I stayed. I chalked up this Uber guy’s nonsense as<br />

an outlier.<br />

Then, a few weeks later I was in a Lyft. Now you must know that this girl had a<br />

Grateful Dead sticker on her car—and maybe a rainbow or unicorn. No, it was a<br />

rainbow-colored unicorn. I felt like it was pretty safe to get her in on my election<br />

poll. What does she do? She gives me the same runaround as the Uber guy!<br />

Blah, blah, she likes Bernie and Hillary is a liar. A liar, yes. A misogynistic, racist<br />

violence inciter? Not so much. I’ll take the liar. And this girl with her stickers!<br />

Lulling me into a false sense of commonalities and a love of colorful mythical<br />

creatures. She’s the liar! I do not understand. It is definitely against the rules of<br />

bumper stickers to falsely advertise like that. You just don’t do that kind of thing.<br />

The bad news is, I was starting to see a trend. According to my poll, things were<br />

getting crazy, and not the way I like it. When I told my friend Lori about my job as<br />

a pollster she was surprised. When I gave her the results of my poll, telling her<br />

we were in trouble, she said no, it’s worse than trouble. We’re in Trumple.<br />

Luckily, this was all in the past and now it just seems like a bad dream. Trump<br />

has led himself down a long and windy path of talking shit and it seems he’s<br />

pretty far gone. Not far enough gone that I will renege on my decision to vote for<br />

Hillary. We seem to be out of the danger zone, but I can’t be too sure. The worst<br />

thing would be to relax and think we’re out of Trumple and then blow it. So I’m<br />

sticking to my reluctant decision to vote for Hillary. No excuses.

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