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‘Idiot mode?’<br />
Leo grinned. ‘I’ll need you and Piper to run interference. I’ll reprogram <strong>the</strong> snake, <strong>the</strong>n Big<br />
Bertha.’<br />
‘Hygeia.’<br />
‘Whatever. Ready?’<br />
‘No.’<br />
Leo and Jason ran for <strong>the</strong> snake.<br />
Hygeia was assailing Piper with health-care questions. ‘Is Blue Lightning an HMO? What is your<br />
deductible? Who is your primary care deity?’<br />
As Piper ad-libbed answers, Leo jumped on <strong>the</strong> serpent’s back. This time he knew what he was<br />
looking for, and for a moment <strong>the</strong> serpent didn’t even seem to notice him. Leo prised open a service<br />
panel near <strong>the</strong> snake’s head. He held on with his legs, trying to ignore <strong>the</strong> pain and sticky <strong>blood</strong> on his<br />
hands as he redid <strong>the</strong> serpent’s wiring.<br />
Jason stood by, ready to attack, but <strong>the</strong> snake seemed transfixed by Piper’s problems with Blue<br />
Lightning’s coverage.<br />
‘Then <strong>the</strong> advice nurse said I had to call a service centre,’ Piper reported. ‘And <strong>the</strong> medications<br />
weren’t covered by my plan! And –’<br />
The snake lurched as Leo connected <strong>the</strong> last two wires. Leo jumped <strong>of</strong>f and <strong>the</strong> golden serpent<br />
began shaking uncontrollably.<br />
Hygeia whirled to face <strong>the</strong>m. ‘What have you done? My snake requires medical assistance!’<br />
‘Does it have insurance?’ Piper asked.<br />
‘WHAT?’ The statue turned back to her, and Leo jumped. Jason summoned a gust <strong>of</strong> wind, which<br />
boosted Leo onto <strong>the</strong> statue’s shoulders like a little kid at a parade. He popped open <strong>the</strong> back <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong><br />
statue’s head as she staggered around, sloshing acid.<br />
‘Get <strong>of</strong>f!’ she yelled. ‘This is not hygienic!’<br />
‘Hey!’ Jason yelled, flying circles around her. ‘I have a question about my deductibles!’<br />
‘What?’ <strong>the</strong> statue cried.<br />
‘Hygeia!’ Piper shouted. ‘I need an invoice submitted to Medicare!’<br />
‘No, please!’<br />
Leo found <strong>the</strong> statue’s regulator chip. He clicked a few dials and pulled some wires, trying to<br />
pretend that Hygeia was just one large, dangerous Nintendo game system.<br />
He reconnected her circuits and Hygeia began to spin, hollering and flailing her arms. Leo jumped<br />
away, barely avoiding an acid bath.<br />
He and his friends backed up while Hygeia and her snake underwent a violent religious<br />
experience.<br />
‘What did you do?’ Piper demanded.<br />
‘Idiot mode,’ Leo said.<br />
‘Excuse me?’<br />
‘Back at camp,’ Jason explained, ‘Chiron had this ancient gaming system in <strong>the</strong> rec room. Leo and I<br />
used to play it sometimes. You’d compete against, like, computer-controlled opponents, coms –’
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