Kids Issue Double cover with willow and Jaden Smith

Love Is The
Ult imat e
Bond
M any people use glue as an adhesive agent to mend
broken objects. However, there is not a stronger ?epoxy? to
reconstruct families than love. This is the ultimate bond that
can strengthen any family ties. According to
www.stepfamily.org, ?majority of families have shifted from
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the original biologically bonded mother, father and child.
We are now a nation in which the majority of families are
divorced. Most go on to remarry or form living together
relationships.? Therefore, many households consist of
blended or modern families that include stepchildren
and/or adopted kids to complete their unique living
arrangements. In fact, some couples have adopted children
as an alternative to provide a loving home to orphans or
foster youths. American Adoption revealed that, ?21 percent
of private adoptions are transracial? and ?88 percent of
adoptive parents describe themselves as a ?happy? couple,
while 83 percent of non-adoptive parents describe
themselves as a ?happy? couple." I had the pleasure of
speaking with two unique blended families to receive their
insights on how they are making their modern families
work.
Steve and Kristen Groover are a Caucasian couple who have
been married for 22 years. They have an adopted daughter
from Vietnam named Chloe. She is a precocious nine year
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a modern/blended family as ?members coming together
from different and non-traditional walks of life to form and
maintain a parent/child structure and relationship.? The
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is dedication. It is ?the notion that this is your family now
and you want what?s best for everyone in your family.?
However, the Groovers have had their share of obstacles.
The Groovers stated, that they had to overcome the
?adoption process and cost, questions and opinions from
others outside the family, learning and performing the
personal grooming needs for a child of a different racial
background.? However, the greatest benefit they have
received is that they ?have a wonderful, fun family and an
interesting story to tell of how it all came together.?
Maria and Timothy Tullo are both Italian who have been
married for nearly 25 years. They have two adopted
children, Anthony Min Soo and Joseph Antonio. Their sons
are aged 17 and 13, respectively. Their oldest son is Korean
and their youngest son is of African American and Eastern
Indian heritage. ?Our definition of a modern/blended family
is a family of multi racial/cultures that co-exist together and
integrate their beliefs and cultures as well as learn about
each culture.? To ensure that their family is successful, the
Tullos realized that they ?must be open minded and
understanding of each other differences as well as
acceptance of the differences.? Similar to the Groovers, the
Tullos have also encountered their share of challenges.
Some of the obstacles they had to overcome ?are the looks
we receive socially, the questions that strangers may ask, or
at times the judgements received from a few of our family
members.? However, their greatest joy and ?benefit is
learning about the different cultures and actually
participating in those cultures as a family. Our oldest son is
Korean and we enjoyed learning and celebrating his first
birthday in the Korean Culture. Our youngest is African
American and Eastern Indian, we also celebrated his first
birthday in a multi cultural fashion and we enjoy teaching
them both about their/each other's?culture.?
Archbishop Desmond Tutu once said, ?You don't choose
your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them.?
The Groovers wish to offer the following advice to blended
families, ?There will be hardships large and small but make
up your mind that this is the path you?re taking through life
and you will find ways to make it work for you and everyone
in your blended family.? In addition the Tullos stated,
?always keep an open mind and don't be afraid to share
your story. I would tell them that you are unique and
blessed to be exposed to such diversity and to be a true
melting pot of love, culture, knowledge and open hearts!!!?
Elmer?s glue cannot fix everything. However, love can
definitely bond unique blended families.
By: Marage Blakeney