Problems Bared, Essays on Buddhism

19
Renunciation, as an act of giving up, is only an act of craving,
i.e., of attachment, in the opposite direction. But it is still attachment,
and that is also fear. Ascetic renunciation is often a desire to
escape, and that is fear of a challenge, fear of an experience, fear of
the unknown. Detachment, on the other hand, cannot be the goal of
striving, but it will be there when fear subsides. And thus, as long
as renunciation is brought about through fear, i.e., through escape,
there cannot be actual detachment. Renunciation is by choice; and
choice is born of resistance, of opposition to the actual. Choice is
attachment, and thus renunciation is attachment to the opposite,
however noble that may be. And in the very choice of escape there
is fear, there is attachment, there is craving.
The most common way of escape is the search for company.
Why do we want companionship in some form or other of its many
varieties? Whether we seek a companion and call her a “sister” in a
religious order, or “comrade” in the political field, a “guru” to get
his advice, or a “priest” to console us, a “mate” to set up a home,
or just someone, anyone, to have a drink with and a dance—and
whether the companionship is with one or with a crowd, the church,
the party—it is all the same, expressed in different forms: fear to
be alone, physically, emotionally, intellectually, psychologically.
Most problems of individuals are not concerned with themselves,
but with society and environment: what will people say if I do or
if I don’t do this or that? And what will happen to me, if I do
not conform? It is obviously not the act which causes one to worry,
but the effect of such act upon others in relationship. As such
relationship is for most people more important than the action, both
the intention and the result are warped and perverted. Why is it
that fear of the environment makes people such “squares” to fit in
snugly in a well-sheltered hole?
It is again fear of the unknown, fear to be found out, fear to
be nobody, to be naked, to be uprooted, to be alone. One believes
that it is education, position, influence, money, which can give that