The Haunted Traveler Vol. 1 Issue 1

51
to happen, and one of the women gazed into her husband’s
eyes and murmured, “Not everyone can have good honest
love like ours, I suppose,” and held his hand and smiled. And
there was a whoop, and the jester was back and pointing at
her, and telling the husband all the things she had said about
him to her friends; and then pointed at the husband, and told
the wife all the things that he said about her to his friends.
And everyone went a bit quiet after that, because who
hasn’t got anything to hide, and who tells the complete
truth and only the truth at every dinner with strangers? Fero
would pounce on the slightest falsehood, damn him - even
normal politeness like, “That was a delicious dinner,” or “I
love your dress”. It was impossible to talk at all.”
“He’s probably still trying to win back his king’s favour, in
some part of his mind,” I mused, finishing my pint.
“I don’t bloody care if he’s trying to become Pope or win
the X Factor,” snarled Andy. “I just know that half the guests
left, after demanding their money back, and that everyone
gave the place bad or lukewarm reviews. Oh, they didn’t
say that the ghost had showed them up, the lying toe-rags.
They just said that it looked fake to them, that that the Hotel
events were stagey, that the food was bad and the beds uncomfortable.
Trade went down the toilet.”
He downed the end of his pint as if he’d been in the desert
for days without water. I bought him another, and thought
for a bit.
“Look here mate,” I said. “I’ll come and stay there, and pay
your highest rate. I have to see this ghost. Then I can give you
a good review, at least. It might not be too late.”
That way I could help Andy and his gorgeous wife Gwyneth
(who was as buxom and vivacious as her husband was
mundane and morose), and have some fun, too. He looked at
me somewhat balefully, but nodded and grunted an affirmation
of sorts.
And so a few nights later I arrived at the Hall. I was in the
Royal Bedroom, so-called because it had royal blue wallpaper.
If asked about the royal connection to the room, staff