Prophet Priest King

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The Husband as Prophet, Priest, and King 107 Wilson astutely observes that husbands are to blame for the theological breakdown in the church today. “The evangelical world,” he writes, “is throwing away its theological heritage because of doctrinal faithlessness in Christian homes. It is true that pulpits across our country are filled with a swamp and morass of anecdotes, sentimentalist yawp, yippy-skippy worship, and make-it-up-as-you-go-along theology; but the heads of Christian homes have been willing to have it so. As the expectations for men in the evangelical world have gotten lower, men have not objected—they have breathed a sigh of relief.” 6 In his Institutes, John Calvin referred to a prophet as a supplier of useful doctrine. In addition to hearing from God, a husband should fill that role in his home. He faithfully proclaims the truth of God. On long drives, late at night, when the kids are sleeping in the back, Mary Ann and I have found ourselves reviewing things we’ve learned together in church, or rehearsing concepts we’ve picked up from reading or from listening to tapes. “What is the Latin phrase that means ‘at once sinful and justified?’” I’ll ask. “I’m too tired to play this,” she’ll say. “I’m too tired not to play!” I’ll coax her. “Help me stay awake.” We’ll mentally review books of the Bible, or we’ll toss out a verse and see if the other one knows where it is found. We may listen to a teaching tape and discuss what we’ve heard. As the drive wears on, the game will usually deteriorate to the point where I’m asking questions like, “Name three hits by Herman’s Hermits.” For many Christian men, the idea of some formal time of Bible study or instruction with our wives is in our “top ten” list of threatening activities. We feel inadequate and unsure of ourselves. We’re not sure how to do it or what to say when we’re finished. We’re not eloquent like the pastor. We’re afraid we’ll be exposed for what we don’t know, or for the shallowness of our own spirituality, or that we’ll be convicted of hypocrisy by a wife who knows too well that we don’t always practice what we’re preaching. So many of us have abandoned any attempt to lead our wives in any kind of informal study of the Scriptures. We may make a stab at some kind of family devotions once the children are old
108 B UILDING S TRONG F AMILIES enough to sit still, but as they squirm or stare out the window, most fathers throw in the towel and give up the whole idea. A husband needs to muster his courage and take the initiative regularly to call his wife and family back to the Scriptures as their source of life and truth. He doesn’t have to rely on his own insights or creativity. There are tools, like Dennis and Barbara Rainey’s devotional Moments Together for Couples, or the daily devotional magazine Tabletalk, produced by Ligonier Ministries, which a husband and wife can read together. A husband can stand on the shoulders of others as he fulfills his prophetic responsibility to declare the truth of the Scriptures to his wife. He confronts sin and calls his wife to repentance. Perhaps this is the most difficult assignment facing a husband, for several reasons. First, confronting sin and calling a wife to repentance may rock the domestic boat. A husband may decide he doesn’t want to incur his wife’s wrath. But he needs to obey God’s call regardless of how his wife will respond. He may also fail to confront his wife’s sin because he has a soft view of what it means to love her. Pointing out sin seems harsh and judgmental, not loving. But our example here is Christ, who loves us too much to overlook our sin. The same Prophet who wept over Jerusalem, pronouncing judgment on Israel, comes to us today by His Holy Spirit to convict us of our sin and to lead us to righteousness. If we begin to understand the consequences of sin for ourselves and for future generations, we will not think it loving to ignore or overlook our wives’ ongoing patterns of sinful behavior. A husband-prophet may also feel hypocritical pointing out the speck in his wife’s eye when he is aware of his own sinfulness. But Jesus’ instructions were clear on this. It is not necessarily hypocrisy to confront someone else about her sin; it becomes hypocrisy when you do so without first confessing and repenting of your own sin. “First,” Jesus said, “take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye” (Matt. 7:5). It is easy to see why husbands would rather not confront the sinful behavior of their wives. (I include myself in their number!) Most books I’ve read on how to have a happy marriage don’t suggest that
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