April 2018

FROM THE EXPERT ASK DR. RENAE
What we Want our Parents and
the Community to Know
This month the Ask Dr. Renae column adjusts the usual format to ask the students from Marjory Stoneman
Douglas High School, who experienced a horrific tragedy, to respond to two questions that are on all our minds:
What do you want your parents to understand about your feelings and needs
at this time? How can your parents and the community help support you?
Dear Dr. Renae,
I want my parents to know that this was a very traumatic event
for my peers and me. I am feeling a lot of different emotions right
now. I am heartbroken, sad, frustrated, disappointed, and scared.
When they ask me if I am OK, I really don’t know how to respond,
and it just is a reminder of everything that happened. Sometimes,
I really just need alone time and separation from everything going
on to let it all sink in. I want my community to know that my
classmates and I are going to stand up and speak out for our
fallen Eagles. I would encourage them really to be there for the
families of the victims as they are grieving, and to support us as
we go forth to fight for change in honor of the 17 who should still
be alive today.
16-year-old MSD student
Dear Dr. Renae,
I want my parents to understand that I’m still terrified, and I
will always be. Sometimes, I want to be alone with my own
thoughts and sometimes I want to feel distracted and think about
something else. I find myself obsessing over this tragedy in my
head, with thoughts like “why” or “what ifs.” I think my parents
need to work with the emotions I have at the time and go from
there. I feel like our community needs to give us (the students
and faculty) time to regroup. Comments like “I know how you’re
feeling. I lost...” are sweet but only make me even more upset.
Because they weren’t there, they don’t know how it felt. They
didn’t have to text their parents one last time to tell them they
loved them and they didn’t have to run for their lives in fear they
would lose it.
10th grade student at MSD
Dear Dr. Renae,
What I want my parents to understand about my feelings and
needs is that I am not grieving 24/7 and I need to be left alone
sometimes. I would like to forget being locked in an overly
crowded closet for two hours, hearing gunshots, and thinking
that those moments will be the last of my life. The more times
they ask me how I am, the less I forget what I went through.
Suggestions I have for the community include not bringing up the
event all the time. Everywhere I go, people are talking about the
shooting and/or watching it on the news. Time away from this
can help the grieving process and let those who want to, forget.
Always bringing it up will never let those hurt take a break from
the pain.
10th grade student at MSD
Dr. Renae,
I want my parents to understand that I feel angry and let down by
a system that we’ve been told our whole lives to put our faith in.
I also want them to know any way I feel isn’t their fault and there
wasn’t really anything they could have done to prevent this. I just
need time and a supportive environment from my family to let
things settle in. One way my community can help is to stand with
us, so we can make sure this never happens again.
10th grade student at MSD
Following are some of the heartfelt messages from Marjory
Stoneman Douglas High School ALUMNI to our brave and
courageous MSD students:
Once an Eagle, ALWAYS an Eagle. Eagle Strong, All Day
Long!
Class of 2001; Broward County Elementary School; Boca Raton,
Class of 2001; Senior Secretary at FAU, Boca Raton
I’m so proud of you! Don’t stop making your voices
heard. We have your backs.
Class of 2006; Madison, WI
MSD was and always will be a special place for me.
Sending love and support!
Founding Class of 1992; MD; Vero Beach, FL
Love says you are not alone. I am here with you. I go
before you and I am your rearguard. Nothing can separate
us. Love never fails.
Class of 1995; Atlanta, GA
I stand with you! With all my heart, I stand with you! MSD
will always have a place in my heart. I send you love and
light as you continue to move forward and heal.
Class of 1999; Artist and Mom; NC
14
APRIL 2018