Nov_Dec_1999

.
Clowns of America International
Lee's Summit, MO 64064-646f
November /December, 1999
Volume 16, Number 6
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November /December, 1999
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THE NEW CALLIOPE is published bimonthly:
January/February, March/April, May/June, July/August ,
September/October, November/December, by The
Bluffton News, 103 N. Main St., Bluffton, Ohio 45817.
Second-class postage paid at Bluffton, Ohio.
POSTMASTER: Send address changes to COAi,
Box 6468, Lee's Summit, MO 64064-6468.
Articles and advertising for The New Calliope should
be sent to the editorial office:
Cal Olson, Editor
The New Calliope
2000 Outer Dr. N.#523
Sioux City, Iowa 51104
Ph./Fax (712) 239-4599
Unsolicited articles or pictures must include return
postage.self-addressed envelope.
Clowns of America International, Inc.,
annual membership fees:
U.S., New members: $25.
U.S. , Renewals: $20
Foreign, New: $30 (U.S. funds).
Foreign, Renewals: $25.
Family membership, U.S. and Foreign: $1 O for second
and additional members
Lifetime membership: $300
$15 of the COAi membership fee is for a one-year
subscription to The New Calliope . Subscriptions are
available only to full members of Clowns of America
International, Inc.
Send all membership fees to Clowns of America
International, Inc. P.O. Box 6468, Lee's Summit, MO
64064-6468. Make all checks payable to Clowns of America
International, Inc.
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Deadline for the January/February, 2000, issue is
December 15, 1999.
Questions regarding COAi membership concerns,
including status of membership, changes of address, failure
to receive The New Calliope, should be referred to COAi's
business office:
COAi
Box 6468
Lee's Summit, MO 64064-6468
Toll-free telephone calls to the Business Office can be
made between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. (CDT) each Tuesday and
Thursday. Call 1 (888) 52-CLOWN.
2 The New Calliope

November/December , 1999
Published for members of Clowns of America International, Inc.
NOVEMBER/DECEMBER, 1999
VOLUME 16, NUMBER 6
COAi OFFICERS
EXECUTIVE COMMITrEE
PRESIDENT: Judy Quest, 715 N. 36 , Omaha, NE 68131.
Pb . (402) 551-4185. dearheart@home.com
EXEC.VICE PRESIDENT: Cheri Venturi, P.O. Box 367,
Destrehan, LA 70047. Ph. (.504) 764-0080 .
cherioats@aol.com
SECRETARY: Teresa Grenon, 341 I Lisa Circle, Waldorf, MD
20601 (301) 843-8212. gretton@bellatlantic.net
TREASURER: Tony R. Jones, 1872 Daiquiri Lane, Lutz, FL 33549.
Ph. (813) 949-6428. jrtheclown@aol.com
SERGEANT-AT-ARMS: Walter R. Lee , 1347 Ava Road,
Severn, MD 21144. Ph. (410) 551-7830 wally788@erols.com
DIRECTORS
MEMBERSHIP: Brenda Marshall, 7128 Oldham Place , North
Richland Hills, Texas 76180. Ph (817) 281-6610
flowertc@flash.net
EDUCATION: Rex Nolen, 501 W. 84th St., Kansas City MO
64114. Ph.(816) 523-4616. rnolen@swbell.net
CONVENTIONS: Danny Kollaja, 4221 Winters, Corpus Christi, TX
78415-5156. Ph. (361) 852-5696 . lanky.clown@juno.com
ALLEY, REGION SUPPORT: Dan Lake, 13005 Lakeridge Dr ., St.
Louis, MO 63138. Ph. (314) 355-0220. danodclwn@aol.com
REGIONAL VICE PRESIDENTS
Northeast: Mike Fixer, 365 Mather St., Unit 155,Hamden, CT 06514-
3134 . Ph. (203) 288-3824. mfixer@worldnet.att.net
North Central: Joyce Olson, 4 Ginger Cove Rd., Valley, NE 68064
Ph. (402) 359-4131 idano@compuserve.com
Northwest:Albert Alter, 5848 S.E. 18th Ave ., Portland.OR 97202. Ph.
(503) 231-8576. altered@europa.com
Mideast: Gary Zwerin , 4125 Stagwood Dr., Raleigh, NC
27613 .Ph. (919) 782-4701. ic1own4u@mindspring.com
Midwest: Patricia Bothun, 27 Map le Ave. N., Box 700,
Maple Lake, MN, 55358. Ph.(320) 963-6277.
mooseman@lkdllink.net
Southeast: Keith Stokes, 1539 Lake Oay Dr., Lake
Placid, FL 33852. Ph. (941) 465-4438. Fax (941) 465-2731.
deelou@htn.net
South Central: C!iristie McNeill, 35 Legend Lane, Houston , TX
77024-2407. Ph. (713) 461 -6564. loue11a9@juno.com
Southwest: Linda Hulet, P.O. Box 789,Anaheim, CA
92815 -0789. Ph. (714) 778-2931. pjshylo@aol.com
Canada: Agi Farkas-Hibbert, 218 Moodie St. W, Thunder Bay, ON
CA P7E 5A4. Ph. (807) 577-3161. sissytheclown@yahoo.com
Latin Countries: Pedro Santos, Box 3859, Bayamon Garden,
Bayamon, PR 00958. Ph. (787) 786-3759 jobolin@prtc .net
International: Andrew Stevens, 34 High St., Eastemon, Devizes,
Wiltshire, SN 104PE England. Ph. 01380-813658 .
STAFF
Business Manager: Dav id Barnett.PO Box 6468, Lee's
Summit , MO 64064-6468. Pb. (888) - 52CLOWN.
coaibusmgr@worldnet.att.net
New Calliope Editor: Cal Olson, 2000 Outer Dr. N. #523, Sioux City ,
IA 51104 . Pb./Fax (712) 239-4599. calolson@willinet.net
COMMITrEE CHAIRS
Competition: Leo Desilets, 31 Lawrence Ave., Milford CT 06460. Ph.
(203) 877-3869.
Oown Week: Bob Grenon.3411 Lisa Circle ,Waldorf , MD 2060 I. Ph.
(301) 843-8212 . gretton@bellatlantic.net
CONTENTS
Board tends to business ................. ............... 4
Couples in face ........................ ................... 1 O
The voyage continues ..................... ............ 14
Calendar ......... .................. ....... ................... 16
Educational, scho larship grants ........ ............ 17
A call tor COAi candidates ............................ . 20
Last walkaround ............... ............ ................ 23
Making magic funny (cont'd.) ...................... .. 24
Where's your backup? ............ ........ .............. 26
Leapfrog or lockstep? .................................. 28
From the President... ........ ............. .......... .... 30
Storyl ine mag ic ............ ................ ............ .... 3 1
One blown kiss .................... .............. .......... 32
Face painting tips (cont'd.) .................... ....... 35
Adventures abroad ............... ................... ... 36
The white lie ................................. .............. 38
Seen any good TV lately? ........ .................... 41
Alley update.. .................................... ......... 42
Around the Regions................. .............. .... 44
State ambassadors off and running ....... ....... 45
www .COAl.org (check it out!) ....................... 45
Treasurer's report....................................... 46
ON THE COVER: Jerry "Yo Yo" and
Connie "Topsy" Yarbrough are a
husband-wife team of Joeys, one of
several hundred spouse-Joey teams
who belong to COAi. Meet them -- and
other husband-wife clowns -- In a story
beginning on page 10. Cover photo by
Aggie Donnelly, Big Nose Productions
The New Calliope 3

November/December, 1999
COAi: moving right along
Members of COAi 's Board of Directors considered the
full range of the organization 's activities during their fall
meeting in San Franscisco Nov. 4-7. As a result, they took
action that will keep COAi moving forward on a number of
fronts, among them our web site, the use of credit cards,
and the fine tuning of a number of continuing programs.
Here are details:
WEB SITE: COAi's resurrected web site is off and
running, according to President Judy Quest. Under the
direction of Chair Pam Bacher, the Web Committee proposed
a statement of policy, which was accepted by the
COAi Board. The statement sets rules concerning membership
involvement, advertising procedures and fees and
information to be presented on COAi officers, teachers and
activities.
CREDIT CARDS: COAi members like the idea of
being able to pay for COAi dues and merchandise with
credit cards. According to Business Manger David Barnett,
COAi began accepting credit cards last July 1. Through
Sept. 28, COAi collected $4,345.48 by credit cards.
Said Barnett: "Credit cards have been real helpful, both
to my office and to COAi members." He anticipates an
increasing use of the cards. To that end, membership application
blanks have been adapted to provide easy use of
credit cards.
MEMBERSHIP: COAi membership apparently has
hit a plateau. According to Business Manager David Barnett,
COAi membership has peaked out at just under 7,000
members for the past three years: 6,915 in 1997, 6,820 in
1998, and 6,863 in 1999. Why? Because, Barnett theorized,
"The age of our membership is rising, and members
who drop out are not being replaced by young blood."
Personal contact with delinquent COA1 memoers was
urged by Keith Stokes, Southeast Regional Vice President,
who stressed the importance of regional VPs maintaining
close ties with their membership. He also moved that
delinquent members be surveyed in an effort to get a handle
on this problem. It was agreed that a random survey will
be conducted.
EDUCATIONAL CONCERNS: Board members
agreed that clowning education continues to hold top priority
for COAi. To that end, the Board agreed to investigate
the possibility of establishing an educational foundation, to
which persons could make tax-free contributions.
With its current IRS status, COAi cannot offer tax-free
status to such contributions. But rather than trying to
change that status, it might be wiser, was Board consensus,
to set up a COAi-affiiiated educational foundation, to which
such contributions could be made. A committee will investigate:
Michael Fixer, Joyce Olson , Danny Kollaja, Albert
Alter and Lavonne Krummel.
In another area of educational concern, Midwest
Regional VP Tricia Bothun reported that applications will
now be accepted for educational grants and scholarships
(see story and application blanks beginning page 17). On
her motion , the Board approved a move to establish a separate
fund that will allow COAi to roll over educational funds
annually. (Current practice is for all elements in the budget
to be carried on an annual basis only.)
ALLEY CONCERNS: A report on Alley affiliations
spawned discussion of COAi's rule that alleys must have
100 percent COAi membership. Director Dan Lake, who
holds the alley/regional support portfolio , reported that of
COAi's 152 alley affiliates, 93 are 1 oo percent COAi membership
, 22 are non-compliant, 35 are inactive and 2 alleys
are in the process of affiliation .
Alley affiliation is a continuing subject of concern. It
came up most recently at the COAi general membership
meeting in Minneapolis last April. At that time the membership
voted solidly to reaffirm COAi 's policy: All members of
an affiliate alley must be COAi members.
Since that time, the policy has come under fire from
several quarters. Pros and cons were debated among
Board members at this fall meeting. Some Board members
pointed out that some alleys slip around the requirement by
failing to report non-COAi members, or by classifying non­
COAi members as "associate" or "junior" or other classifications.
But a motion to that effect -- that COAi alleys be allowed
to exclude junior members and non-voting associate members
in meeting the 100 percent ruling -- went down to decisive
defeat. Instead, Board members agreed to survey
COAi's membership on the subject, and then to make a
recommendation for action at the next general membership
meeting.
ARTISTS IN RESIDENCE: Board members
accepted 12 applications for Artists in Residence for the
two years starting July 1, 2000. They are:
+ Joe "Doc Geezer" Barney, Bridgeport, CT.
+ David "Mr. Rainbow" Bartlett, Durham, NC.
+ Don "Homer" Burda, Sunnyvale, CA.
+ Glenda "Coco"Desllets, Mllford,CT.
4 The New Calliope

November/December , 1999
COAi Board
members In session
at their fall
meeting In San
Francisco
+ Leo "Dapper" Desilets, MIiford, CT.(The
Desilets are appointed as lndlvldual AIRS.)
+ Jackie "Lolllbells" Garner, Durham, NC.
+ Lori "Half Pint" and Mark "Oscar" Hurley,
St.Paul, MN (appointed as a team).
+ Stephen "Peachey Keene" Long, Beallsvllle,
PA.
+ Susan "Fruit" Oberg Jacobvltz and Harvey
"Jlngles" Jacobvltz, Hull, MA, (appointed as
a team).
+ Trudi "Nellle" Sang, Tigard, OR
+ Vince A. "Vapppo" Pagllano, Colts
Neck,NJ.
+ Mona "Mo" Webb, Ralelgh, NC
Complete information on the Art ists in Residence
program - Bios and contact informa tion on the AIRS, how
tos for alleys w ishing to partic ipate - w ill be carried in thf'
January/ Feb ruary, 2000, issue of The New Calliope.
RED NOSE: COAi will continue to fine tune its embryonic
Red Nose Festival Competi tion program , which is
designed to focu s clown "competition " on development of
the individual clown rather than award s. COAi 's consultant
on Red Nose concerns is Mike "Buster" Bednarek , of
Salem , OR, who designed the program. Board members
accepted Bednarek's proposals to further the Red Nose
philosophy. He will work in concert with Leo Desilets,
COAi's director of competition, Director of Conventions
Danny Kollaja , and Northwest Regional VP Albert Alter.
.Among Bednarek 's proposals:
+ Conduct an "on-site pilot'' of Red Nose Festival Com
petition at COAi's International Convention in San Francisco
next April. There, the paradeabi lity event will be conducted
entirely within the Red Nose framework.
+ A move to conduct fut ure Red Nose competition only
in paradeab ility and performance, and that the honors
should also include a people's choice.
+ Work to maintain COAi oversight on the way coaches
are selected and trained, while developing a training and
technical support kit.
+ Market Red Nose to other COAi region s and populations.
Th e Red Nose sys tem was used at the 24th Northeast
Clown Convention in Albany, NY:, Clownfes t '99 in
Seas ide Heights , NJ, and at the Northwes t Festival of
Clow ns in Spoka ne, WA . The intention, said Bedna rek, "is
to allow grass roots support to gradua lly build."
Finally , Bednarek posed questions as to the future of
Red Nose : "Whe re does the COAi Board want to be on Red
Nose one or two years from now? And what do we need to
do as an organization to get there?"
Consensus of the Board was that COAi should indeed
continue to support the Red Nose way of competition as a
pilot program , and to view Bednarek's proposals as one
more step in the program's evaluation . Said one Board
member: "Many people are looking for competition , a
beauty contest. It will take a lot of coach selection and training
to change this." Added another: "It will take time to
change, and it must be done slowly, so people know what's
going on .
Continued next page
The New Calliope 5

November/December, 1999
Board members at work, from left: Director
Dan Lake, Northwest VP Albert Alter, Past President
Brenda Marshall, Mideast VP Gary Zwerln.
Board --
From preceding page
Bednarek agreed, but added: "Red Nose is working in
the Northwest."
BOARD AIR FARE: Board members voted to continue
COAi's recently adopted policy of subsidizing Board
members's air fare {up to $500) for attendance at the fall
meeting. While some consideration was given to cutting
back the maximum allowab le, it was agreed that prospective
candidates for Board offices now understand that the maximum
is $500, and that any change might affect some decisions
on running.
CLOWN OF THE YEAR: Named COAi's Clown of
the Year 2000 was Loretta "La Dee Dah" Angelus, of Niskayuna,
NY. Chosen from a field of four nominees, she was
selected on the basis of her outstanding volunteer activities.
Her clown story and cover photo will be featured in the
January/February, 2000, issue of The New Calliope.
CLOWN HALL OF FAME: The Board voted to
adopt a wait and see approach to COAi's relations with the
International Clown Hall of Fame. A number of factors will go
into any final official'stance with ICHOF. Among them,
COAi's decision (1999 genera l membership meeting) to
stop donating funds from COAi's convention auction to
ICHOF, and instead allocate those monies to the COAi
schola rship program. Add to that recent indications that
ICHOF is currently facing internal disagreements and
power/policy factionalism. Accordingly, the Board voted
that COAi take no action "in defining its position with ICHOF
until after that organization's next board meeting."
REGIONAL AWARD PROGRAM: A request to
celebrate the millennium year in the Latin Countries Region
was approved by the Board. To that end, the regional Vice
President, Pedro Santos, will issue award ribbons to honor
region members who have placed in the top three in
national competitions. These will be awarded during International
Clown Week 2000. "The event and awards will be a
great motivator for others to join COAi," Santos said.
EXCErrELIICE IL,1 crOMLIIILIIC= BOSLq W6WP6LZ
voted COAi's Excellence in Clowning Award to Sue "Hot
Dog" Gortemiller, of Houston, TX, a member of Cheerful
Clown Alley 166. The award is made on the basis of a
clown's activity in education, performance and public service.
She will be presented the award at COAi's International
Convention in San Francisco next April.
NO MORE PRAYER: On motion by Past President
Brenda Marshall, the Board agreed that the Clown Prayer
will no longer be included in any COAi material. Marshall said
the organization has come under criticism for using this
prayer (it's on the back of our membership card), particularly
since we promote ourselves as a non-sectarian organization.
Despite some opposition, the motion carried 1 O to 4.
IN ATTENDANCE at the fall Board meeting: President
Judy Quest, Executive Vice President Cheri Venturi,
Secretary Teresa Gretton;
DIRECTORS: Danny Kollaja (Conventions), Dan
Lake (Alley, Region Support), and Brenda Marshall
(Membership);
REGIONAL VICE PRESIDENTS: Mike Fixer
(Northeast), Joyce Olson (North Central), Albert Alter
(Northwest), Gary Zwerin (Mideast), Patricia Bothun
(Midwest), Keith Stokes (Southeast), Christie McNeil!
(South Central), Linda Hulet (Southwest), Pedro Santos
(Latin Countries), and Andrew Stevens (International).
ST AF F: Business Manager David Barnett, and Cal
Olson, Editor, The New Calliope. Also present: Mike Bednarek,
Red Nose consultant.
6 The New Calliope

November/December, 1999
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The New Calliope 9

1'\IUV011 IU01 I UV\.,VI I IU'O'I I I ;;:J;;:J;;:J
CouplB~
•
rn
For many husbands and wives, clowning is
a team affair. You'll find them all across the
country -- hobby clowns, full-time professionals,
caring clowns -- working in both marital and
red nose harness. How many husband-wife
clown combinations are there? Impossible to
come up with a figure. But a check of COAi
membership shows that 300 to 400 · of the
club's membership may be married couples.
The New Calliope contacted several married
(to each other) clowns from across the
nation. Here's what we found:
Jerry "Yo Yo" and Connie "Topsy" Yarbrough
Semlnole, FL
Growing up in Jerry and Connie's home was like a three
ring circus: Animals (dogs, cats, snakes, lizards, turtles, parakeets,
hamsters and guinea pigs), lots of excitement and
six kids going in every direction. The kids were tap dancers,
acrobats, pole vaulters, football and baseball players, boy
and girl scouts, musicians, band leaders, singers and cheer
leaders. They were a high spirited bunch and they all loved
to be in the spotlight.
Jerry was a vice president of Detroit's largest advertising
agency and Connie was an administrative assistant in an
auto parts factory. After early retirement to Florida, they
found and fell in love with clowning. After taking a class,
they got their feet wet in parades, birthday parties, nursing
and retirement homes, grand openings -- anywhere clowns
were needed. At first Yo Yo and Topsy performed as singles,
but it wasn't long before they realized it was a lot more
tun as the two of them kidded back and forth and played off
each other. So they became a team and formed the "All Star
Clowns." They're in t_he Yellow Pages.
They have taught clown classes for 10 years, held
offices in local, regional and national clown organizations
and judged all kinds of clown competitions at many conventions.
They have contributed numerous "how to" articles to
The New Calliope, Laugh Makers, Clowning Around, the
SECA Giggle Gazette and their own alley newsletter,
Expressions.
They are members of COAi, WCA, South East Clown
Association, Clowns International, the Uptown Clowns Alley
#301, Circus Fans of America, International Showman's
Association, and the Georgia Peanut Commission's Peanut
Circus, and past members of Morton Plant Mease Hospital
Clown Alley, Clowns Galore #194, and Showfolks of Sarasota.
Beside helping form the Uptown Clowns alley, they are
proudest of creating "Florida Clown Day" in 1998. With the
help of the alley and the City of Largo (Florida) Recreation
and Parks Department, every alley in Florida and many individual
clowns were invited to spend a Saturday in Largo
Central Park to paint faces, make balloon animals, pass out
helium balloons and entertain kids and their families. In
1998, 87 clowns showed up, and 117 clowns came in
1999. For "Florida Clown Day 2000" they are expecting
even more clowns and families to attend. The event is an
official Pinellas County Florida Millennium Celebration.
Partners in life and for almost 12 years in clowning, Yo
Yo and Topsy have entertained children of all ages from
birthday parties for one year olds to a man celebrating his
90th birthday. They have appeared on local TV kids shows,
at church celebrations, nursing and retirement homes,
grand openings, area parades and many special events.
And the memories ...
One day the "No Name Storm" hit the Tampa Bay area. It
was pretty bad. Having promised never to cancel a birthday
party if they could get out of bed, Topsy drove for miles
through the storm and did the party. The birthday girl was
delighted. After the magic show and while Topsy was painting
faces, the birthday girl asked if Topsy would make balloon
animals after she was through with the faces. Topsy
said, "If I have time, honey." The little girl looked up and
asked, "Why,Topsy, will your batteries be all run down?"
Topsy had indeed succeeded in creating a mystical charac-
10 The New Calliope

November/December, 1999
ter.
With the kids grown and gone, Yo Yo and Topsy continue
to enjoy life, each other, the company of their many
clown friends and making people laugh wherever they find
them.
Casey "Tatters" and Jane "Tootsie" Shaffer
York Haven, PA
Fo, the Shatters, as with many husband-wife clown
teams, one led and the other followed. Tatters began
clowning in 1991, the year he retired from teaching sthool.
He'd always wanted to be a clown, but raising a family and
his other responsibilities got in the way for 30 years. Then
he attended a clown seminar and it changed his life. It
changed his wife's life too. Says Tootsie: "He wasn 't content
until Tootsie evolved, kicking and screaming." After she
retired, she began playing straight man to Tatters and eventually
took on her clown persona. Now they are both enthusiast
clowns.
The Shatters do clown ministry, for the most part. They
both do vacation Bible school, the annual Christmas program
and Easter Egg hunt, the fall festival, picnics, Rally day
and a Halloween party. They write all their own material.
Says Tootsie: "We understand the goals of the various
events, and we have as much fun creating our skits and routines
as we do performing them."
There aren't any COAi alleys near Tatters and Tootsie,
Continued next page
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The New Calliope 11

Novemoer,uecemoer,
H:!l:ll:I
Couples --
From preceding page
so they solo (or duet) it. Their grandsons, "Little Tatters" (5),
and "the Mad Hatter" (8), clown with the Shatters occasionally.
Best thing about clowning? Says Tatters: ''The smiles
and hugs I get from both kids and adults; I've never had a
bad clowning experience." Tootsie's favorite act involves
puppets.
Adding it all up, the couple says they've never charged
money for anything they've done: "The payment of love
and laughter sustains and motivates us."
Wayne "Spice" and Barbara "Sugar" Ralther
Glen Burnie, MD
Unknown to Wayne, wife Barbara had always harbored a
secret desire to be a clown. So in 1994, when the Anne
Arundel County Public Schools offered an adult educat ion
class titled "Clowning for fun and profit," Barbara not only
enrolled, but got Wayne to come along, too. They both
graduated on stage, in full clown.
They began their clown careers as a team, Sugar' as a
whiteface and Spice as an auguste. Their first costumes
came from items gleaned from a Goodwill thrift shop, plus
red hightop sneakers. They later graduated to professionally-made
costumes and shoes. Says Spice: "We even
began to branch out into other clown types, me as a tramp
clown character , 'Pickin ,' and Barbara into both 'Corn Silk,'
an auguste , and 'Bunky ,' a tramp. "
The pair clowns for fun , not profit. They are primarily
involved in clown ministry and benefits , plus nursing
homes, hospitals and parades. Spice does a little magic;
he's learning how to juggle.
Most fun clowning? Says Spice: "Doing the macaraina
during a benefit on a parking lot in 95 degree heat with a
group of kids. What a wild and wonderfully rewarding day it
was!"
Bad experiences? "None," says Spice, "unless you can
consider a kid almost pulling off your nose."
John "Big John" and Joan "Ribbons" Affeldt
St. Paul, MN
The Affeldts got into clowning because Joan is a persistent
person. Let her tell it:
"I got John into clowning through a friend that belonged
to the St. Paul Clown Club. I couldn't join because at that
time it was male only. I working supporting how I could, but
still not happy I couldn't join. After a few years I submitted an
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12 The New Calliope

November/December, 1999
Albert the Sdckennan Sackers
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Ribbons and Big John
application. What a roar! They wanted to ignore me, but no
way. It finally came to a vote and I made it by a very narrow
margin .... the first woman in the club."
Now, both John and Joan are past officers of the club.
Big John's been clowning for about 18 years and Ribbons
for eight.
~ lO)~Black & Red
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This pair loves to parade. Both in their 60s, they use
scooters to get around.They also do hospital visits, performing
skits and visiting rooms.
Worst experience? Having a scooter go out, "so you
have to drop out and push it back to the trailer."
While the Affeldts are slowing down, they will continue
with face painting and balloon twisting, although Ribbons
says, "Just a bit slow. The smiles make it worth getting up at
5 a.m. and going to bed at 1 p.m.on those traveling days."
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Novemoer,uecemoer, 1::,::,::,
-The voyage continue,-
By Elizabeth "Miss Lizzy" Romine
Chair, COAi's 2000 Convention
FROM THE BRIDGE OF THE STARSHIP GOLDEN
GATE ON ITS VOYAGETO"GATEWAYTOTHE FUTURE."
ARRIVAL TIME 4/11/2000
LOG ENTRY - ST AR DATE DECEMBER 1999 AND
COUNTING
The mood of the crew and our special team is one of
anticipation and great expectations. We have been traveling
in space tor almost two (2) years now and are looking forward
to having our feet back on terra firma. Plans and preparations
have been progressing at breakneck speed.
The crew and the fantastic team that has been assembled
have had many late night sessions to decide how best
they can present what they have to otter tor the future.
What will convention goers want to see? How will we help
them to adjust to the full schedule that is planned? What
can we offer them -that will be memorable? All these questions
and more were posed.
Since people will be arrivil')g from all over the planet and
even the galaxy, a central location was commandeered. It
was decided, that the location (Planet Earth, San Francisco,
California) would prove to be one of the most interesting
sites. Outworlders who had visited there before had always
enjoyed themselves. Many had returned singing "I left my
heart in San Francisco".
Since most will be arriving by conventional airplanes,
the housing unit (hotel) chosen was the Airport Clarion.
(Close to the air terminal but only minutes away from the city
of San Francisco.) Ground transportation will be provided
from the airport to the unit (hotel). No universal credits will
be required (this means the shuttle is free).
Contact has been made with local specialists who otter
side trips in wheeled vehicles. These trips will be ottered
during time frames when no workshops are scheduled
(Monday and Tuesday of the week of convention). Universal
credits and plastic credit cards will be honored (this
means not free). People interested in these trips must
make separate arrangements.
The convention offic ially begins on Wednesday. However
registration and the market place will be open Tuesday
PM. Also available for those interested will be a special
gathering of first-time convention goers with a mentoring
program. Also on Tuesday night there will be a welcome
from the Host Alley and some fabulous entertainment
brought to you by Don "Homer" Burda, Bruce "Charlie"
Johnson and Oscar "Timmy Bond" Flores. If you have
never seen their shows you're in for a real treat. We encourage
everyone to arrive early to enjoy the festivities and do
some sight-seeing.
Wednesday brings 12 workshops to choose from.,
with evening entertainment "The Homer & Buttons Show",
and a discussion on working with partners. This will be followed
by a Balloon Bash.
Thursday will be a full day with the COAi General Membership
meeting, single skit competition and group skit
competition. Competitions are open to all COAi members
with both the competitors and audience having a great time.
If you are considering competing in this category rehearsals
are a must.
Friday the competitions continue with make-up .
Remember to read the competition rules published in your
New Calliope. In the afternoon we offer 12 more workshops
. Again you'll have to make a choice from some great
topics. The night brings a Theme Dance with a live band
and prizes for our visiting aliens.
Saturday is Parade Competition, more workshops,
COAi's annual auction and the awards banquet. Entertainment
will be provided by The Prescott Clown Troupe. A different
treat and not one to miss.
Sunday is special : "Gateway to the Heart" day. After
the Gospel service, special workshops and lectures have
·been arranged until 6 PM by Shobi-Dobi, editor of the Hospital
Clown Newsletter. This day will be of interest to all
clowns, most especially those making hospital visits and
Clowns in Community Service. Special guests will include
Patty Wooten (humor in health care) and Eloise Cole
(bereavement specialist) and many more.
Shobi-Dobi has issued a "Call for Papers". If you or your
group feel you have something to share and would like to
be put on the program, she needs a short bio and topics
you would be willing to lecture on (300 words of less).
These can be mailed to her at: The Hospital
Clown Newsletter, 5835 Marshall, Oakland, CA 94608 or by
e-mail ShobiDobi@aol.com or call her at (510).420-1511
Inter-stellar communications have been arranged for
those who have questions. Call Gary "Clumsy" Morin at
(650) 593-2298 or Liz "Missy Lizzy" Romine at (650) 583-
8590. There is a slight time delay since our team is currently
moving at the speed of light but any and all calls will be
returned.
14 The New Calliope

November/December, 1999
•/!
)YI
Full Reg istration includes All Sessions, Registration received by December I, 1999 .......... $ 95
Dealers Room, Hospital Clown Day, Dance Dec. I, 1999 through April I, 2000 .............. . . $125
and Banquet. Except for the banquet, FULL After April I and At The Door (No Daily Registrations) . $ 140
REGISTRATION is required to attend any
Spouse . ................ ... .. . ........ .. ....... $ 75
A $IO fee will be charged on all cancellations
event or enter the Dealers Room -
prior to March I, 2000.
Extra Banquet Ticket . . . ...... .. .. $45 No cancellations or refunds after March I, 2000
Please make checks payable and mail to: Golden Gate Alley #80, P.O. Box 367, San Carlos, CA 94070
-----------------------------------------
Questions? Call Gary Mori11 (650) 593-2298
Name: Clown Name: Phone No.
Address City State ZIP
Choices for Banquet. Must be checked to ensure your choice: ( ] Beef [ ] Chicken [ ] Vegetarian COAINo.
AMOUNT ENCLOSED: Registration s Spouse$ Extra banquet $ Total Amount Enclosed $
Do you plan on attending the Hospital Clown Day? (no extra charge) on Sunday, April 16th? Morning only [ ] Morning and Afternoon Sessions? ( l
The New Calliope 15

November/December, 1999
Spring into the Future
with the South Shore Joeys
·-----
~---
March 17, 18, & 19, 2000
A full registration includes
all workshops, seminars,
competitions, hospitality
room events, banquet,
Sunday Worship
Service, and Breakfast Buffet.
Quest ions ???
Flo Broadbent
(781) 294-4824
Laura Nadell
(781) 447-3782 .
e-mail ssjoeys2000@aol.com
COAi /\rtist-ln-Residenee
Angel Occasio
Sheraton Inn - Plymouth, MA Be sure to
mention Spring in the Clowns.
$68 per room for up to 4 people .
1-508-7 47-4900
Futuristic Theme Banquet
PRl7J, FOR IJEST cos·rnM
Ma ke check paya b le to: South Shore Joeys
Ma il lo : Kat hy Dhing ra
l 78 Carey Circle
Stoughton. MA 02072-1669
0 Full registration - Adult - $65.00 by February 28
D Full Registratio n - Adul t - $75.00 Mar ch l
D Full Registrat ion - Adult - $80.00 al the Door
D Full registrat ion - Junio r (up to 16 years) - $40.00
D l d ay registration - $45.00 (No Meals included)
D ba nq ue t & Show only - $40.00
am e
d dress
ity
lown Na me
hone
R egist rati on F orm
Zip code
E
Nov. 7-11: W .R.C.A. Convention, Laughlin.NV. Info:
(714) 897-0749. email: WRCA@juno.com
Nov. 11-14: COAi North Central Convention , Best
Western Airport Red Coach Inn, Wichita , KS. Info.: (316)
686-4471 or email jimsracing@prodigy.net
Nov. 11-14: National Gospel Clown Conference,
Green Bay, WI. Info: (920) 468-1122.
Jan. 22, 2000: Florida Clown Day 2000 Largo, FL
Central Park. Info.: "Topsy Yarbrough: (727) 393-5425 .
email: yoyotopsy@aol.com
Jan. 29, 2000: Mama Clown Millenium one day
workshop with Clowns Like Us, 303 at the Community
Presbyter ian Church, Englewood, FL .Info.: (941) 475-
9473, or email BTnuzzles@aol.com
Feb. 18-20, 2000: Show Me Clowns For Jesus ,
Clown Ministry Blow Out 2000, Windermere Retreat Center,
Lake of the Ozarks, MO. Info.: (800) 736-6227 ext. 511.
email: showmeclowns@juno .com
Aprll 11-16, 2000: COAi International Convention
("Gateway to the Future"), Clarion Airport Hotel, Millbrae,
CA. Info.: Gary Marin (650) 593-2298 .
May 18-21, 2000: Clown-O-Rama, Ocean City, NJ,
MusicPier. For info, send SASE to Dana "Dazzle"
Endresen, 444 Indigo Court, Morganville, NJ 07751 . email:
www .clown-o-rama.com
May 19-21, 2000 : Angel Ocasio's Northwest
Comedifest 2000, Sheraton Portland Airport Hotel,
Portland, OR. Info.: (360) 260-8557 . email:
ocomedy@aol.com
May 20-25: Clown Camp: Caring Clown Focus
(Lacrosse) .
May 27-June1: Clown Camp, Traditional Week,
(Lacrosse) .
June 3-8: Clown Camp: 20th anniversary reunion
week (Lacrosse).
July 12-16, 2000: The Country Clown Jamboree,
The Settle Inn, Branson, MO.Info.: (919) 785-2377 .
Aug. 6-11 and Aug. 13-18: MooseburgerCamp,
Koinonia Retreat Center , South Haven , MN. Info: (800)
973-6277,or write PO Box 700 , Maple Lake, MN 55358
Aug 12-17: Clown Camp: Traditional Week (Medicine
Hat).
16 The New Calliope

Educational
Grants
COAi educational grants are to help fund clown arts education
on the international and regional convention levels.
The monies are designed to assist COAi alleys fund high
quality education they might not otherwise be able to
afford.
November/December, 1999
COAi Scholarship
For lndlvldual COAi members
1. All applications must be submitted on the COAi Scholarship
application form supplied by the Education Director,
COAi Board members or The New Calliope (see following
pages).
To use this grant money
wisely, we suggest the grant
be used as only a portion of
your education budget. Ideally,
you will match these
funds. Be sure to shop
around to get the best
instructor(s) for your particular
needs. There are wonderful
suggestions in the convention
cookbook on determining
the educational
needs of your convention.
We recommend you follow
the planning guide closely.
Clown Education grants
2. Applications must be postmarked
by March 1 to be considered
for the upcoming
year's award(s).
COAi is offering two programs
designed to subsidize quality
3. Selections will be made by
clown education. One provides
the COAi Board at its annual
scholarship funds to individual
(Spring) meeting each year.
clowns who wish to attend
recognized educational events. 4. Scholarships will be
The second is intended to help
awarded for family entertainhost
alleys provide top quality
ment educational programs
which run a minimum of 1 O
instructors at regional and hours of educational activiinternational
conventions. The ties for short programs (1-3
grants are described on this page. days), and 30 hours for long
Grants available (U.S. funds): Application forms are on the two programs (4-6 days). Particip-
Attiliated regional conven- to If owing pages. ant may not participate in
tion and/or regional conven-
tion hosted by COAi alley: L-----------------------1
1. Request biographical class information and fee requirements
from prospective instructors 11 months prior to your
event.
competitions.
$500. International COAi 5. The number of scholarship
convention: $1,000.
awards will be determined by the availability of funds in the
Education Endowment.
Instructions
6. Scholarships will be awarded to COAi members in good
standing.
7. Scholarship awards will be in the amount of $65 for short
programs and $300 for long programs (U.S. funds).
2. Create an education plan by filling out the form found on
the following page. This process will help you develop a 8. Scholarship checks will be made payable to the program
successful overall program. of the winner's choice in accordance with #4.
3. Submit the grant application and education plan to the
COAi Education Director and grant committee 1 O months
prior to your event.
4. Grant requests will be reviewed by the Education Director
and the grant committee within four to six weeks. Applicants
will be notified of grant approval within eight to nine months
of your event.·
5. About eight months prior to your event, use the COAi
regional contract and vendor agreement (if applicable) in
the convention cookbook to secure your instructors.
6. Alleys will be reimbursed within 30 days of submission of
copies of the instructor's contracts, travel and hotel receipts
and vendor's agreement (if applicable) to the Education
Director.
9. Applications will be reviewed by an anonymous panel to
be selected by the Education Director. They will review
applications privately and submit their recommendations .
They are to keep their identities secret, even from other
panel members.
1 o. Applications need to be filled out in ink or typed.
11. Additional photos and documents will not be distributed
to committee members.
12. Scholarship recipients will be notified by the Education
Director.
13. Supply six (6) packets for panel members (include copies
of applicaiton with attached photo on each.).
14. Supply one copy of an article on your clown experience
for consideration by The New Calliope.
The New calliope 17

November/December, 1999
COAi Scholarship Application
Name _____ __ _ ___________ __ COAI Number _ ______ __ _ _ _
Address _________ __ __ _ _______ _ ______________ _
Street
City State Zip
Phone (home) ________ Phone (work) _________ email _____ _ _____ _
Applicant's signature __________________ Date ___ _ _ ___ _____ _
1. In 50 words or less, tell us why you would like to receive this scholarsthip:
2. What does the art of clowning mean to you?
3. How will this scholarship fit into your overall education plan?
4. What things have you done to further your clown education?
5. If you do not receive this scholarship , how will you continue your clown education?
6.What program do you plan on attending and why? (Include a completed registration form)
7. Have you received any other scholarship or grants for clown education before and, if so, which one(s)?
8. What type of clown education programs have you attended ?
Please attach a picture of yourself in makeup to this form (w/1 not be returned). DEADLINE IS MARCH 1.
Send completed application to: COAi Scholarship Committee, Box 700, Maple Lake, MN 55358
18The New Calliope

November/December, 1999
COAi Educational Grant Application
Please fill out this application to be considered for an educational grant for regional or international conventions or festivals.
This information will be processed through the Education Director and Grant Committee. Send this form to the Educational
Director (see address page 3) at least 10 months prior to your event. You will receive a response within six weeks
ALLEY SPECIFICS:
Alley Name ____________________ COAI Number ___________ _
Address _________________ ____ _ ____________ ___ _
City.State, Zip ________________________ _ Region ________ _
Event _______________________ Dates ______________ _
Alley Contact ____ _ _ __ _ _ ___________________ ____ ___ _
Address __ _________________ ___ _______________ _
City, State, Zip __ ____ __________________ _________ _
Phone (home) _ _ _______ Phone (work) _________ email __________ _
Regional organizations affiliated with COAi are eligible for up to $500 in educational grants each year.
These grants are designed to assist regional conventions in supplying high quality education for its members.
Please 11st your Instructors and associated fees (use addltlonal pages If necessary)
Instructor ______________ _ ______________________ _
Address __________ _____ ______________________ _
City, State, Zip _ __________________________ _ __ ____ _
Phone (home) ___ _______ Phone (work) __________ email _________ _
Fee per class. ___ _ _____ Hotel (No. of nights) _ _ _____ Travel expense. ____ __ _
Please detail vendor trade-outs. _ _ ________ ____ ____________ ___ _
Classes and Descriptions you have requested:
Class. _______________ ____ ____________________ _
Descript ion ______ __ _ ______ _____________________ _
Class. _______ _______ _____ ___ _________________ _
Description _ _ _ ________ _ ____ ___ _ __ _________ __ ___ _
Class . _______________________ ______ __________ _
Description _____________________ ______ _________ _
The New Calliope 19

November/December, 1999
A call for COAi candidates
Notice is hereby given that election of COAi officers will
be held in June 2000. Every office in the organization is
open. Each term is for two years, beginning July 1, 2000.
There are no holdover officers, and every incumbent wishing
to continue in office must run.
Offices to be filled: President, Executive Vice President,
Secretary ,Treasurer, Sergeant-at-Arms, three Directors
(fourth is the immediate past president), and 11
Regional Vice Presidents .
Some qualifications apply for several of the offices:
+ Candidates for COAi President must be current
Board members. All other offices may be
sought by any member of COAi.
+ Directors wlll run for specific posts: Convention,
Education, Regional and Alley Support.
+ Only members of a region wlll vote for that
specific Regional Vice President.
Nominations for office must be postmarked before Jan.
1 O, 2000. (No exceptions!) Nominations should include
J.~
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• Fmest Quality • Street Wear Comfort
• Featherlight Weight
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GUARANTEED
Orders Processed Within Sixty Days
We maintain "ready-to-ship" ,// '
in-stock inventory of assorted
styles and sizes .
Happy Holidays to all our
Clown Family!
Feb. 25-27: Clown Magic, Williamsburg, VA
Apr. 11-16: National COAi, Millbrae, CA
Send Today for Full-COior Picture Brochure
--=,- And Orderln8 Information I• ll ·ij
- "You Design. .. We Refine"
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12 Orlando Street • Springfield, MA 01108-2412
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a biographical sketch, plus a campaign statement , not to
exceed a total of 250 words. Nominations also shall include
two black and white or color pictures (no slides), one in
makeup, one without. Send material to the alley in charge of
the election:
Clown Towners Alley #242
P.O. Box 777
Port Richey, FL 34668
Here are descriptions of the offices to be filled and the
requirements of each office:
PRESIDENT: To serve as the club leader and ambassador.
The President is responsible for setting the club's
agenda, and promotes the morale and enthusiasm of the
Board and the general membership. The President must
see that all orders and resolutions of the Board are carried
out, to preside over all Board and general membership
meetings and to be an ex officio member of all of the
Board's appointed committees. The presidency can be
sought only by a current member of the Board, so that presidential
candidates will have a working knowledge of COAi's
operations.
EXECUTIVE VICE PRESIDENT: In the absence or
incapacity of the President, the Executive Vice President
shall perform the functions of the President. The Executive
Vice President heads the COAi Policy and Procedures
Committee.
With other members of the Executive Committee , the
Executive Vice President shall be empowered to execute
the business of the corporation, assist in auditing the
budget, and in supervising investments. This officer will be
involved in long rang planning, update officers' job descriptions,
monitor The New Calliope, deal with insurance
issues, institute credentials and contracts, and help generate
policy.
SECRETARY: Shall attend all sessions of the club as
clerk, recording all notes, votes and minutes. The Secretary
takes minutes, compiles a yearly summary of motions
passed , enters minutes in a bound ledger, gives notice of
all meetings, and answers or directs all correspondence ..
TREASURER: Shall conduct the financial affairs of
the club. The Treasurer is responsible for the accounting of
all funds, payment of all bills, writing a bimonthly report for
The New Calliope, organizing tax returns and working with
the business manager, certified public accountant and the
Internal Revenue Service. The Treasurer must have some
accounting skills and computer knowledge.
SERGEANT-AT-ARMS: Helps maintain order and
decorum at all Board and general membership meetings,
Continued page 22
20 The New Calliope

Novemoer,uel;er, rue,, , ::,::,::,
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Elections --
From page 20
and is in charge of all audio equipment for those meetings.
It is helpful to have a knowledge of parliamentary procedure.
DIRECTORS: Each director will have a specific portfolio.
For the three elected directors , the portfolios are: Conventions,
Education, Alley Support. The fourth Director is
the immediate Past President, who holds the Membership
portfolio, and who administers the Clown of the Year
program.
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May 18-21, 2000
Planning is in full swing!
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DIRECTOR OF CONVENTIONS: Assists convention
host alleys and alleys wanting to host a convention.
This director is responsible for updating the convention criteria
and heads such subcommittees as competition and
dealers.
DIRECTOR OF EDUCATION: Promotes clowning
education. This Director creates and maintains special programs
(Artists in Residence, scholarship and grants, guest
speakers), provides alleys with manual books or training
tapes at least once a year, submits articles to The New Calliope,
communicates with Regional Vice Presidents regarding
educational activities, and develops an awareness of
members' specialities.
DIRECTOR OF REGIONAL AND ALLEY SUP­
PORT: Must be available to help regions and individual
alleys. This Director communicates with Regional Vice Presidents
and heads up such committees as regional realignment
and alley coordinators .
REGIONAL VICE PRESIDENTS: Represent COAi
in their individual regions . They are to assist alleys or individual
clowns within their region to strengthen lines of communication,
encourage the alleys to exchange newsletters and
to transmit educational tapes and materials . The Regional
Vice President is also encouraged to write reports on activities
in their regions and, if possible, should conduct or assist
in regional conventions or workshops.
Complete information on candidates will be carried in
the March/April 2000 issue of The New Calliope.
"""
Bob "Bunky" Gretton, of Waldorf, MD, chairs a committee
charged with assuring that there are candidates for
every office in COAi. To that end, he asks that persons whc
decide to run for any office let him know, so that the commit ­
tee can determine if any office has no candidates. Reach
Gretton at P.O. Box 787, Waldorf , MD, 20604
22 The New Calliope

La ~t walkatound
November/December, 1999
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
:• If your costume isn't becoming :
: to you.. :
Robert "Topper" Williamson : you should be coming to us.... :
Robert "Topper Williamson, of Burbank, CA, made his •
last walkaround Aug. 11, 1999. He was a member of the !
San Fernando Clown Alley, COAi and WCA.
He was well known to Burbank kids , especially his Eng- •
lish as a Second Language class at Emerson Elemen- :
tary School. Otten, Topper would come into class, and use •
•
humor to assist in teaching. He was also active in the com- :
munity as a teacher of home repair tor seniors, and worked •
on a committee to help repair local schools. !
•
COSTUMES
His desire to help others, his dedication to his family :
and his amusing and lighthearted look at life made Topper a
clown who will be greatly missed .
•
by Betty
Adelaide "Pockets" Gaertner ! :
Adelaide "Pockets" Gaertner of Hingham, MA, made : And now you can check out our :
her last walkaround July 22, 1999. : catalog on the internet at :
A member of South Shore Joeys Alley #149A, she was : www.clowncostumes.com :
the mother of six children and had eight grandchildren. • :
Back in the 80's she was a graduate of Clown College, the ! Betty Cash. 2181 Edgerton st.. st Paul MN. ss111. 651-771-8734 •
College of New Rochelle, N.Y.U., and Vo Tech Nursing • Tony Jones. 1872 Daiquiri Ln • Lutz FL 33549 • 813-949-6428 :
School.
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
•
She was well known for volunteer activities at the
Hingham Cancer Society, Meals on Wheels and the
Hingham Department of Elder Services. She will be greatly
missed.
Ardelle "Dingbelle"Walker Fischer
Ardelle "Dingbelle" Fischer, 77, of Hyattsville, MD,
made her last walkaround Dec. 15, 1998.
"Dingbelle" performed in the Washington, D.C., area
for the past quarter century. She attended Clown College at
the University of Wisconsin-Lacrosse. She was a member
of Kapitol Klowns Alley #6 in Silver Spring, MD., and of
COAi and WCA. She is survived by her husband, George.
Kapitol Klowns dedicated the 1999 Mid-East COAi
Convention in "Dingbelle's" memory. She is greatly missed .
COAi SYMPATHIZES WITH RELATIVES AND
FRIENDS OF THE FOLLOWING COAi MEMBERS, WHO
HAVE MADE THEIR LAST WALKAROUND:
John "Kapo" Kapral, Williamstown, NJ. (Dec. 2,
1999).
Robert "YoYo" Mahanna, Hoxie , KS (Aug. 7,
1999).
Francis "Cricket" Ritchie, Glastonbury, CT (July
17, 1999) .
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The New Calliope 23

Novemoer,uecemoer, , ~~~
Making
•
magic
funny
(cont'd.)
With more than 15 years as a clown, Margaret Clauder
is one of the busiest entertainers in the nation, presenting
more than 300 shows a year, and still finding time to write
for every issue of The New Calliope in the past three years.
This is the second of two articles on how to make magic
funny.
By Margaret "Maggie the Maglcal Clown" Clauder
916 Wayland Dr.
Arllngton, TX 76012
When you perform magic as a clown, you must keep in
mind at all times that you are a CLOWN, and not David Copperfield.
Clowns should be goofy, silly.and not too bright.
We should allow things to go wrong in our shows. These
things that go wrong are planned.
Have you ever watched Red Skelton? If you haven't,
then go rent or buy some of his videos. You will understand
what I mean by letting things go wrong. Red learned early
on that when things went wrong on his show, and he reacted,
the audience thought it was funny. Red started actually
planning for things to go wrong.
Have you ever seen him laugh at his own jokes? He did
that in one show and the audience roared. They loved it. He
began to do it all the time on purpose. He would appear to
get so tickled at his own joke that he could hardly tell the
punch line. The audience would giggle along with him. This
was all planned.He was once heard to say to someone
standing backstage, "I almost forgot to laugh at my own
joke!"
Red would often have something go wrong while per-
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forming with another comedian on purpose, just so he
could react in what appeared to be an impromptu funny
way. This is what I mean by letting things go wrong in your
show ·accidentally on purpose ,· so that you can react
to it. It is funny.
In my cake baking routine, I accidentally catch my recipe
on fire, then out pops my cake. That is funny! When I perform
the coloring book routine.I lose all the color out of the
book. I find it up the birthday child's sleeve in the form of a
mouth coil. As I pull the hidden "colors" out, everyone
laughs. It is funny!
I accidentally reveal the secret behind the "What's next"
magic trick. This is the large flat domino with movable spots
on both sides. It is a classic sucker trick.I accidentally reveal
the secret so that the children can point out that I goofed
up. After making them take the magicians' oath to never
reveal the secret except to another magician, I begin to
"teach" the children how it is done. They think they are
learning how to be junior magicians. In truth.they are learning
nothing, as I-am maneuvering the effect so that it looks
like they are somehow making magic happen without my
knowledge. More spots keep appearing, making me look
like I don't know what's really going on. The children soon
agree they're in control of the magic instead of me. It's great
fun.
Time after time I see clowns at conventions that watch a
magician perform a wonderful magic trick. They go and buy
the trick, thinking that they can perform it the exact same
way that the magician did. When they try the trick in their
show, it bombs. Why? They did not take the time to make
the magic funny. You can make a trick funny by having:
(1) An unexpected concluslon to the trick. You
may be using a change bag to change a red and a white silk
into one big blue silk. The first time you try it, out pops a
blue and red silk. The next time you try it, out pops a blue
and white silk. The third time you try it, out pops an American
flag. You stand at attention and salute the flag and start
singing The Star-Spangled Banner or some other patriotic
song. You were supposed to create a club silk, but instead
out popped this flag. It's funny!
(2) Dellberate stupidity. Thinking something is
one thing when everyone knows it isn't. Example:
I use a bunny in my magic show. I never tell the children
we are going to make a bunny appear, though. I start by telling
them I have brought an animal from the circus that is
very, very, vicious. He has long sharp claws and sharp
teeth, and HE HASN'T HAD HIS SHOTS! He is a small rare
white tiger -- a man eater.
I tell the children I am going to perform a tiger taming
routine with him. When I take the cover off my small tiger
cage (from Harry Alley -- Daytona Magic), I suddenly dis-
24 The New Calliope

cover that the white tiger is missing. I forgot to put him in the
cage! I start crying hysterically. The children usually feel
sorry for me and suggest I use magic to bring him back.
What a novel idea -- those kids are so smart!
I cover the cage several times and say magic words,
each time to no avail. Nothing appears. Finally, I get the
birthday child to put my rabbit silk into the cage and wave
the magic toothbrush. When I take the cover off, inside the
cage is my white rabbit. The children shout that there is a
rabbit in the cage. I look and say, "No, that's the tiger, all
right. He is of the long-eared variety." They are all laughing
because I am so stupid I can't tell a tiger from a bunny. I
could have just magically produced the bunny from the box,
but it would not have been funny.
(3) Using things In a way not orlglnally Intended.
Many clowns use comedy magic wands in their shows,
including the breakaway wand, the nesting wands, springs
wands, etc. I have used these in the past with lots of laughs
and success. If everyone in your area is using these magic
wands, though,how about a change of pace? What about
using a giant toothbrush for a magic wand? I hand a toothbrush
to the birthday child to wave as a ma_gic wand. The
kids always say, 'That's not a magic wand, that's a
toothbrush!" I reply that the tooth fairy told me that if I used
one of these magic wands regularly, my teeth would sparkle
just like magic.
I often brush my hair, brush my legs and scratch my
,back with the "magic wand." That's using an object for
something other than what it normally is intended for. I have
handed the child a toothbrush for a wand intentionally, hoping
the children will yell, "that's not a magic wand!" I then
turn around, act surprised and embarrassed, reach into my
suitcase and pull out the "correct' magic wand -- my rubber
chicken. Then they to wave that around. Imagine a floppy
rubber chicken waving around ...
(4) Look-don't-see. An example of this is how I use
my magic domino trick. I don't "see" the spots on there as
they change. Another frequently used routine is the wilting
flower. I sneeze on the flower and it wilts. Every time I look
away it straightens back up.
(5) Llteral stupidity: I use this as part of my show.
For example: the old balloon blowing up routine, my hat
routine, or my juggling routine. These are all routines where
the children are yelling at me to do something the right way
and I do EXACTLY whatever they tell me to do.
(6) Magician In trouble: The trick seems to keep
going wrong or backfiring on the magician. Example: Cut
and restored rope, sponge ball bunny to black ball.
(7) Sucker gags.Breakaway wands, breakaway fan,
clatter box, pulling out the underwear, mouth coil to toilet
paper.
November/December, 1999
Try thinking, "How, how could I make this trick backfire
or make me look stupid?" Remember, though, you should
never reveal the secret of a magic trick. Clowns that do that
ARE NOT FUNNY!
When I pretend to teach the children the secret of the
"What's nexr domino trick, I make a reference that only the
parents pick up on. I say, "After you learn this trick you could
appear on Fox TV like Valentino the Masked Magician. All
magicians want to meet him (tongue in cheek) in a dark
alley."
I hope I have started you thinking on new ways to be
funny with your magic. Not only new clowns need to work
on being funny with their magic. I know quite a few seasoned
performers who could used a tune-up in the funny
department. We should all strive to reinvent ourselves and
our routines so that the magic stays fresh and funny.
Happy clowning!
J.. ... -( .. ,. • •
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The New Calliope 25

November/December, 1999
Where's your backup?
By Kathy "Plckles" Dhlngra
178 Carey Clrcle
Stoughton, MA 02072-1669
I recently had a client ask me who my backup was in
case I was sick or unable to perform. Although not often,
this question has come up before. I explained to the client
that in the three plus years I had been clowning, I had been
fortunate enough to cover all my commitments. I further
explained that if I should become sick or unable to perform
at her birthday party, I would do my best to get one of my
clown friends to cover for me. After I hung up
the phone I had much to think about.
I had just started clowning when I received
a call from a magician I did not know at all. This
man was calling around on a Sunday summer
morning, desperately trying to find a clown to
cover a birthday party for his wife, who had
become very ill. He must have called all his
close clown friends with no luck . Then he must
have worked on referrals from them. He was
ready to hand me, someone he did not know at
all, a job with full pay if I could cover for his wife
on last-minute notice. On .this kind of emergency
he would not take a commission. I had to turn him
down as I was booked for the day.
I don't know how that situation turned out, but I found
that process pretty amazing and a bit unsettling. It also
made me aware that there was another aspect to consider
when performing as a clown.
I've gone to performances with a cold or headache.
Over the counter medicines and many throat lozenges help
me get through it. I even went to a performance one day
after minor surgery as I could find no one to cover and did
not want to cancel. My husband drove, carried my trunk of
tricks and kept a close eye on me as I made it through the
one-hour performance. My husband and the prescription
pain medicine made all that possible.
My client didn't have a clue and I was booked for the
next preschool family day. I am lucky to have a pretty good
immune system and a high pain threshold . I've had no illness,
accident or emergency so severe that would prevent
me from performing. I make all efforts to do as a I have promised.
One time a good clown friend of mine, Violet, called me
in a pinch. Of all things, she had caught the measles. She
had a birthday party booked and felt she could not in good
conscience go, as there may be infants or pregnant moms.
Measles would be dangerous to them or anyone not
immunized. Could I please help her out and back her up?
She wanted to call the client and explain that she had found
someone to replace her. I was able to help, but it would
have to be about an hour after the time that was scheduled.
If the client was flexible I could fit the party in. Violet called
me. back later ·to say the client was disappointed. She was
unsure of the timing and ended up canceling as I was en
route to her party . Of course, Violet returned her deposit.
She even offered a free party in the future.
Recently I asked another clown friend to cover a
biweekly gig for me while I was on vacation. On
the day of the job, she got stuck on the expressway
in a traffic jam. She called the client and told
him she would send someone else in her place.
She was able to reach someone else to cover.
The other clown called the client to confirm if she
should come and explained she'd be there as
soon as possible. Quickly she gathered her
things, put on a face and jumped in her car. When
she arrived at the job the client was frustrated
because it was late and most of the families had
left. He threatened not to pay.
The clown diffused the situation diplomatically by
graciously reminding the client that he told her to come
even though she would be late, and she would gladly do
her best to make the remaining customers happy.Shehandled
that situation in a professional and dignified manner,
and the client and remaining families ended up satisfied.
Not too long ago I had booked three gigs in a row. I was
driving from job two to three when I reached over to get the
printout with the directions. Where was that piece of paper?
I look up and slammed on the brakes, but it was too late; I hit
the car in front of me.
We pulled into a parking lot and I ran over to the other
car to be sure the driver was all right. (He was, thank
goodness.) We exchanged papers. A police officer arrived
and made sure everyone was safe and the cars were drivable.
I drove off in a daze.
I pulled over a bit later in another parking lot, reloaded
my magic, took a deep breath and went to gig number
three. I really put on a act at that one. I couldn't allow the
fender bender to creep into my thoughts until I was safely in
my own driveway.
Although measles , traffic jams and car accidents are
extreme examples, there is the possibility of some kind of
emergency situation that would require you to either find
someone else to take your place or cancel a performance. A
26 The New Calliope

Novemoertuecemt>er, 1999
backup plan may be the answer.
Now the question is, what should the backup plan consist
of? First you need to develop a list of performers with
whom you are most comfortable. This would be your inner
circle. You like their style and they work in a manner similar
to you. What does this mean?
Well, it could be something obvious. You offer a magic
show, balloon sculpting and face painting, so your backup
performer should be able to do the same. It could also be
subtle yet significant similarities. Your backup should appeal
to the same age group. Their appearance and professionalism
is parallel to yours. Their standards are similar. You
would want these select few to be your primary backup.
Now ask them if they would like to be your backup.
Make sure they won't mind if you were to call them at the last
minute to step in for you. Work out the compensation
arrangements at that time. Most likely when you ask
someone to cover for you, be prepared to fork over any
deposits you received prior. Be prompt with this payment if
you want to keep these key people as your primary backup.
Your backup people should receive full compensation for
covering at the last minute.
The only flaw to this inner circle may be they are
booked at the time of your need. What if they are unavailable?
That's where the outer circle comes in. What are they?
Well, that is one of the many good reasons to maintain
membership with your local alley. As they say, membership
has its privileges. You have an instant network of professional
clowns of many talents to choose from. Some may
become very nice acquaintances and you may ask them to
help you out should you be in a jam. Gather their phone
numbers and keep them on hand, just in case. If your inner
circle does not pay out, go to the outer circle. Start calling
on these performers to help you out; full and prompt payment
should remain the same.
Finally, but most importantly, be sure the client is notified
as soon as possible if you are unable to fulfill your obligation.
Apologize fQr the inconvenience and explain your
backup plan at this time. Be sure they are receptive. Work
as hard as you possibly can to fill the slot. Keep the client
fully informed with any progress you have made. Be sure to
follow up with a phone call to make sure everything goes to
the client's satisfaction and thank them for their flexibility
and understanding.
The worst possible scenario would be that you are
unable to provide backup. You'll have no choice but to cancel
the job. Regardless of the circumstances, apologize
profusely to the client. Return any deposits or payments as
soon as possible. Be prepared· to offer your client a free
performance at a future date. Somehow, try to satisfy the client.
Hopefully, you won't ever need to use the backup plan,
but it is good to give it some serious consideration and formulate
a plan, just in case. At least, with a backup plan you
may not be as desperate as that magician and call upon performers
you know nothing about. You never know what
could happen down the road, but a backup plan could help
you efficiently and effectively cover yourself and keep your
client happy during an emergency situation. It is good to be
prepared in a professional manner.
cSh@w ~=t Cl@wrts F@r ;:.t·sus
Clown Ministry Blow Out 2000
National Confu• =
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The New Calliope 27

November/December, 1999
leapfrog
or
lockstep?
By David "Mr. Rainbow" Bartlett
1427 Acadia St.
Durham, NC 27701
I was talking to a 20 year veteran in home town clowning.
She said that when she was a teenager and just getting
started in clowning, an old man saw her and told her
she had great potential. He invited her to join his clown
alley. She did. She found that, because she had developed
her clowning up to that point on her own, she did
things quite differently than the others in the group. Some
alley members put a lot of pressure on her to change and
fall in line with them and the "correct" way of doing things.
The old man told the others to leave her alone! She
told me that she learned a lot from this leader and continued
to develop a dynamic clown personality that has fueled a
very successful full time home town clowning career. She
also told me that when her mentor died, the whole alley
changed. Under new leadership, the alley became very
rigid, with strict rules about clowning. She quit the alley and
never went back. Over the years I've heard similar stories
from people all over the country.
In my Navy days a very popular expression was
"Lead, follow, or get out of the way." Two of
these three are self explanatory. Following and
getting out of the way are easy choices. Leadership
is the one that requires some study. What is
leadership? Is leadership being at the head of
the line pulling, or at the back of the line pushing?
Is it commanding people or convincing people? Is
it teaching people to think or doing all the thinking
for them? Does it mean having the group
work for you or you working for the group?
Obviously, leadership can be a combination of
many approaches.
In the opening anecdote, the old man was what
I call a leapfrog leader (named after the children's game
where the leader squats down and becomes the base
which followers use to jump over a·nd past the leader).
Leapfrog leaders and leapfrog teachers are ones who
intend, hope an_d expect that you will take what they have to
offer and leapfrog past them and their own accomplishments.
Their leadership agenda is your advancement. Your
success is their success. The steps to your success are
individually measured. Under the influence of such a leader,
you will develop into a unique clown creation and continue
to discover the full extent of your talent. If.you have
one of these leaders in clowning (or at work or at school),
please cherish them! They will be the wind beneath your
creative wings.
I'm not creating a fantasy here. There are a lot of club and
alley leaders like this. If you've never experienced such
enlightened leadership, you are missing a lot. I'm not going
to name any names for fear of exclueing too many worthy
people, but they do exist.
The exact opposite is what I
,------------------------------ call a lockstep leader. To this
leader, uniformity and conformity
is the goal. There are
Angel Ocasio' s
strict rules and the leader is
J{c,ifuw~ (J,1))
the enforcer (and quite possibly
even the author) of the
rules. The group will have
one mind and one focus and
May 19-21
rules are of paramount importance.
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28 The New Calliope

November/December, 1999
rewards individuality. If, in your follower position, you find all
your questions are covered by rules to ensure uniformity,
that in itself is proof that you are heading away from art and
straight toward technical compliance. Lockstep is a poor
leadership style for clowning development but, unfortunately,
it too has its practitioners in our field.
What kind of leader would you rather follow? What kind
of leader would you rather be?
To be quite frank, it is easier to be a lockstep leader. Followers
are always asking for direction and approval. It's
often easier to just give definitive answers to everything. It
saves a lot of time. Making and adhering to strict rules is a
sweet siren song. It makes the leader feel powerful and
relieves the followers of the need to think for themselves.
Of course in mythology the siren song led ancient ships to
wreckage and destruction.
Whenever I come across someone whose individual
development is bei~9 restricted ~Y a lockste:p leader, I turn
the focus on them instead of the offending leader. You
cannot be led against your will. If your creativity and development
is being strangled and not nurtured, and you willingly
stay in the situation, then you are just as culpable as
the lockstep leader who keeps you under the proverbial
thumb.
In reality, to be a clown you do not have to belong to any
local or national organization. You don't have to obey an_ybody
else's rules. The only approval you need is from your
audience. That is the only group who can legitamately
validate you as a real clown.
You do need a sense of who you are and what. clowning
is. You need a constant desire to expand your horizons
and improve your performance. It would be nice to have
someone lead you along, but following behind a lockstep
leader is not a better solution than going it alone.
If you find you need one, pick your leader carefully. Don't
pledge blind allegiance to anyone. Try to find a leader who
has higher expectations of you than you may even have for
yourself. You'll find yourself rising to meet those expectations.
Try to find a leader who offers you an open path and
not a place in line behind them (and with lockstep leaders
isn't it perpetually behind them?) In short, see if you can
find a good leader to play leapfrog with.
If you're lucky and can find one, don't forget that once
you leapfrog them it is your turn to help someone leapfrog
you. The more people you can help to leapfrog you, the
better off the world of clowning will be because of you.
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The New Calliope 29

November/December, 1999
By Judy "Dear Heart" Quest
COAi President
I would like to talk about the way that I see so many
clown alleys giving back to their communities. First and
foremost, I believe that as clowns we are prominent citizens
of our commun ities. What we do draws attention to us as
individuals and to the causes we support.
A great example of a clown group giving back to a
community is the Northwest Festival I recently attended in
Spokane, Wash. In addition to being a totally great time, the
attendees raised more than $2,000 for Cattails, which is a
local rescue unit for big cats and other exotic animals . This
was particularly remarkable because 120 people attending
the convention raised this amount. Andi and Julie Rothweiler,
the convention chairs, did a great job of integrating
the charity into the whole weekend. There were free
passes to the she lter throughout the convention and the
caretakers brought a couple of animals to the theme party.
Great effort had gone into getting items for the auction and
people were very generous. The $2,000 raised went to
build a shelter for two animals that were in temporary housing
-- a very nice gift.
I know many conventions have a fundraiser as part
of the effort. This is particularly generous because conventions
run on slim budgets , but isn't that what clowning is all
about -- being generous with our resources?
In addition to the volunteer work that individual
clowns do for charities, many alleys adopt a charity that they
work for all of the time. Our alley in Omaha has the Make A
Wish Foundation. Another great thing alleys do is to make
volunteer clowning part of their Clown Week activities. I
know of an alley that gets the city bus company to donate
transportation and they load the bus full of clowns and go to
nursing homes all day. You can imagine the fun when a
whole bus full of clowns drives up and all pile out. (A little
more comfortable than the customary many clowns piling
out of a small car!}
I would love to hear about your ideas -- please e­
mail them to me and I will include them in my next column.
When I was elected I said that clown hearts would reign.
This is definitely a place where clown hearts are in charge!
Keep a smile in your clown hearts!
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5. Master the Art of Clown Make-Up! by Carol Fields, Jeff Bodle, and Toni Hein man
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14. How to Make Money Face Painting! by Bev Dowling and Carol Fields
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30 The New Calliope

~totyline magic
November/December, 1999
back everything I gave you to start with. You seem to be
missing a dime."
By Steven Bender
You will have to place the coins in your hand a few times
Allas Mr. Plckle of lckle Plckle Products
so that you get a feel for where they need to be placed in
--------------------- the spectator's hand in order for the penny to lock in over
This article is going to describe an effect that a friend of
mine, Mike Sirota, showed me recently at the Midwest
Magic Jubilee. It takes an inexpensive Penny-Dime and
makes it into a great table-hopping or walkaround effect.
That also means you can do it for friends, neighbors and
grandkids.
the dime. Once you've practiced for a mere few minutes,
you will easily be able to perform this effect.
What I liked when shown this effect was that it took the
Penny-Dime and embellished on the standard routine. Furthermore,
it let the magic take place right in the spectator's
hand, which always makes it seem even more incredible.
You remove from your pocket a penny, a nickel, a dime
and a quarter. You have the spectator hold out his hand and
in the center of it you slowly place one coin at a time.
First, you put the dime down. Then you overlap the
penny on the dime. Then you place the nickel ever so
slightly over the penny. Finally, the quarter is placed slightly
over the nickel. (Need I tell you that the penny and the dime
are from a locking Penny-Dime? I'm telling you just so I won't
have to wonder if I should have told you.)
"And how much money have I placed in your hand?"
The spectator can easily add it up and reply, "Forty-one
cents."
"Now, I am not going to touch the coins that are in your
hand. I want you to curl your fingers so that neither you nor I
can see the coins. Nor can either one of us get to the coins,
because you have them protected in the grip of your hand."
Now you can pull out a pencil or a magic wand or whatever
suits your fancy.
"I am going to touch the back of your hand with this
magic pencil.I say magic because I am going to tell you
ahead of time that once the pencil touches your hand, one
coin will vanish from your hand. I want you to hold your hand
tightly clenched so as to make the vanish all the more difficult.
But I remind you that regardless of your actions, one
coin -- once the pencil touches your hand -- will be gone."
Now you touch the back of his hand with the pencil.
"Did you feel it go?" He shakes his head, no.
"I'm a sporting individual so I will give you a choice. If all
the coins are still in your hand, you can keep_ the 41 cents.
However, if you are missing a coin, then you will replace that
coin with a coin of your own. Or you need not wager at all
and simply accept my word as valid."
It doesn't matter what he does. When he opens his
hand, the dime will be gone. If you want, you can then reach
in your pocket and pull out another dime. Or you can hold
out your hand and say, "I'd appreciate it if you'd give me
One of the reasons for going to conventions is to pick
up ideas or new routines. Sometimes you need to adapt
the routine to your own personality. Sometimes it will work
just as it is shown to you. Sometimes you discover that a
prop you never use is ready to be put to use because of
something someone showed you.
This effect was shown to me as we sat waiting for the
stage contest to begin. Often we catch up on what's going
on or we trade jokes, but sometimes we pull something
from a pocket and say, "Let me show you something and
you tell me what you think of it."
Like reading a book, my feeling is that if you get a new
item, it is well worth the read. In this case, it was well worth
attending the convention because a friend of mine gave me
a way to use an effect that I never felt I used effectively.
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The New Calliope 31

November/December, 1999
One
blown
l~iss
By Dick "Rags" Garinger
25426 167th Place SE
Covington, WA 98042
Our 12-passenger van is brightly painted, as you might
expect. The background is off white, but that's as prosaic as
it gets. Each side of the van is decorated
with recumbent clowns convulsed-inhilarity.
The front grill sports a red nose;
the rear clamshell doors show a blueclothed
clown in a pratfall clutching balloons.
The colors and costumes
depicted are outrageous -- longstemmed
flowers poking from flat hats,
orange fright wigs, huge shoes, bulbous
red noses, yellow gloved hands clutch ­
ing a phantasm of balloons, everything
done in exaggerated comic style.
Today, eight clowns are seated
inside the van, looking every bit as colorful
as those on the outside. We're members
of our aerospace company's Management
Association Klown Klub. Some members are
active employees; some are retired. It's difficult for nonmembers
to know which are which behind the makeup and
wardrobe.
I ride in the seat by the window furthestmost to the rear.
We are just arriving at our second gig of the day. It's to be a
"threefer event'' day. The first being the just ended Renton
River Days parade. The second is the company's Manufacturing
Research and Development department's picnic at
Lake Sammamish State Park. The final event of the day will
entail a visit 40 miles to the north at an Everett senior center
for an annual carnival.
All three events are out-of-doors on the last day of July. To
say it is hot is to understate the facts. Not only is it 80 degrees
Fahrenheit, and rising, at 10:30 in the morning
when the parade gets under way, but the last six blocks of
the route I jump off our custom-Cushman, three-wheel fire
truck and unicycle. The first two blocks are to the reviewing
stand for a bit of foolishness for the judges.with the remaining
four blocks petering out, much as myself, at the
parade's terminus.
If you know anything about the unicycle, you know one
has to pedal continuously or crash. Add to that a bit of juggling
and you can appreciate how hot the clown business is
on a day in July, and how nigh impossible it is to look good
upon arriving before the judges stand and assembled dignitaries.
Accordingly the foolishness better be crowd pleasing.
It is so-so, and draws applause.
Of course.when I say clown business, what I mean is
charity-clown business . We are volunteers, charge nothing
for our services. (Some allow the price is fair.) Our community
outreach activity is funded by the Management Association.
The Klub is,. like a number of the members, old, having
been founded around 1950, if I have the hearsay right.
I plan to participate in one event only -- the parade.
Being 70 years old, I feel, and I mean feel, that the parade is
sufficient activity for a geezer clown on
a hot day. One who has any sense, that
is. But mad dogs and
Englishmen ... being what they are, you
get my drift.
I am easily recruited (for the second
event and beyond) when informed that
the MR&D organizers have promised a
check to Childrel1's Hospital, our favorite
fund-raising effort, if we perform our
20-minute show for the department's
children-of-all-ages. So, I'm in.
I'm also informed, if I harbor visions of
splitting after the second gig, that the
van will not return to the plant where my
vehicle is parked, until after the gig at the senior center,
which will net another check for Children's. So, I'm captive
for the day.
Feeling an underwhelming desire to stay in the air conditioning
aboard the van upon entering Sammam ish State
Park, I chance to glance out at the MR&D crowd. A large
audience is waiting. They are gathered at a shelter in the
shade of a grove of trees.waving much too eagerly.
How can I sit in the van with the engine running soaking
up the air conditioning instead of just soaking up. We use a
quantity of water in our shows. Well, I can. If rank has its privileges,
I think, certainly age has its choices (when wisdom is
32 The New Calliope

l'IVVtll llUtH /Ut:IGtllllUer, 1 ~~~
lacking in the first place). I could choose to be just background.
In the merry throng of shorts-and-tank-top clad childrenof-all-ages
welcoming our giggle of clowns is a shy one.
Standing sidewise, hair tightly done up in a dozen or more
bright colored ribbons and beads, she clings with one arm
to the secure post that is her father's leg. This little one can't
be more than five-goin'-on-six. She has these wonderful
eyes with lashes that curl back on themselves. Lashes that
make her dark eyes appear very large and round. They find
me -- registering a kind of personal discovery.
Secretly she does, with an only-for-you-not-to-beshared
gesture. blow me a kiss. It is gently breathed off her
tiny hand in my direction. Taken by surprise, I respond by
sending one back.
Now, how am I to stay in the van? The hot, tired clown I
am dissolves, is swallowed up in a swelling heart.
These are the moments I clown for. What I want to know
is how she did that, make my heart swell up? You have to
know how many years, how many picnics, how many hospital
burn wards, how many Special Olympics, how many
cancer kids and worse I've seen. I have more years as a
company charity clown than I had as an employee. You
name it, I've seen it.
This is only the second time I've had an encounter
move me so completely. You don't forget such things when
you're a clown. It's why you do this silly thing. The unwritten
law is you have to pay for that .. It doesn't come cheap. I'm
not the last clown off the van.
None of my associates in the giggle saw the moment. At
the back of the van, they just start handing me props to
carry to the spot where we're going to do our corny show.
Clowns are part pack mule; the rest is corn.
When we loosely assemble where we are to do our
thing, rig our props, set the order of skits, and the
appointed master of ceremonies kicks off the proceedings,
my partner and I move into our lead-off juggle. My mind is
focused on the routine, and the wonderful moment is set
aside to revisit later. We blunder grandly and step boisterously
through our show; it's never the same twice,
though it's been years since we've added material. It always
comes out differently, and we are our own best audience.
When the show is over, the clowns are introduced by
name for curtain calls and applause. The chairperson for the
picnic presents us with a check for Children's Hospital. She
then graciously and generously invites us to partake of
burgers, potato salad and soda pop, and a plethora of other
goodies.
The notion of a cold can of pop strikes me as just the
ticket. So, without further ado, I proceed toward the shelter
where the refreshments are being dispensed. Quite suddenly,
my way is blocked by a little person in a sun suit running
out of the crowd. She is so skinny, like most any nearly-
six-year old. Her arms are flung wide and I bend down to
catch her grand, tiny hug. Breathlessly she whispers, "I love
you, Rags."
"I love you, too," I choke. And, quick as that, she is
gone back into the crowd --my shy, secret friend.
Have you ever tried to choke down a cheeseburger and
potato salad with your heart so big it fills every cavity in your
body? Well, neither could I.
Needless to say, I'm glad to be going on to Everett.
There is nothing more to stay for at the picnic. I am weighted
down, carrying off so much more than I came with. I come
away recharged for another slug of years, the Lord willing.
To think I almost missed the moment. You never know
what's going to happen once you suit up.
As our van pulls out I know somewhere in that milling
crowd, my oh-so-gentle friend is blowing me a secret, personal
kiss. Blindly, I blow one back, wondering how I'm ever
going to pay for that first blown kiss.
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The New Calliope 33

November/December, 1999
(please type or print)
Clowns of America
International
Membership Application
NAME ...........................................................................................................
...........................
Last First Middle Initial
ADDRESS ....................................................................................... ................................................
Street City State Zip Code
DATE OF BIRTH............................... AGE. ................... Sex: M .........• F .............
CLOWN NAMES USED
SIGNATURE ...................................................................................
Annual membership fees: New members U.S.: $25 New members foreign: $30
Renewals US: $20 Renewals Foreign: $25
Lifetime: $300 (U.S. Funds)
Family membership: U.S., Foreign: $10 for second and additional members of one family.
Check enclosed
Charge to Credit Card ##
I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I
Exp.Date
Visa(]
Mastercard• Discovery D
Send application with remittance to:
Clowns of America, Int.
Box 6468
Lee's Summit, MO 64064-6468
NON-PROFIT NON-POLITICAL NON-SECTARIAN
1. All memberships in COAi are on an annual basis, with membership dues payable in July of each year.
2. If you wish to join COAi as a new member and the date is not June, July or August, your membership will be
pro-rated for your second year.
3. Join at the membership rate indicated above. When you receive your dues notice in June of the next year,
the amount you should pay to bring your membership up to July of the following year will be indicated on your
card.
4. For example, if a U.S. resident applied for a regular COAi membership in September, 1998, he/she would pay
$25. In June, 1999, the member would receive a dues renewal notice for $16.67 to bring that membership up to
July, 2000. Thereafter, each year the annual membership fee would be billed in June for payment by July 1.
Foreign and family memberships are similarly pro-rated.
34 The New Calliope

pt1infing
lips
(cont'd.)
By Marcela "Mama Clown" Murad
2117 Hollywood Blvd.
Hollywood, FL 33020
I want to thank Kathy ""Jolly Molly" Gordon
for sharing her face painting tips with
us ("Face painting tips," The New Calliope,
September/October, 1999). She has a lot
of good points. However, I feel it's necessary
to comment on some of the advice,
and share a few alternatives.
Most important, I truly believe that no other paints, aside
from the ones made specifically for the purpose of face
painting, should be used. Even.if they are water based and
especially if they are not (like acrylics), they are not safe to
use. With so many excellent manufacturers of high quality
paints in the market today, why take a chance? If, or when,
somebody decides to slJe due to an allergic reaction to the
paint, there's not a chance to get out of trouble if the
approved paint was not used.
Secondly, if glitter is being used, it is very important that
it is the right kind of glitter. Craft store glitter is usually made
to use on paper and other mediums. Most of the time it is
made out of aluminum. A tiny speck in a child's eye can
cause severe damage. The right type of glitter to use needs
to be made of plastic. To test it, put a small amount on the
tip of your thumb and rub it with your index finger. If it feels
soft to the touch, it's okay to use. If it feels gritty, it's not.
I don't think it's ·a good idea to throw a handful of candy
in the air. First of all, some parents may not want their children
to have it for reasons that can be as important as health,
like diabetes. Someone could also get hurt in the rush to
pick it up.
It is better to use a sticker with a number or use the paint
to write a number on children's hands for crowd control.
Once again, Scripto markers are not meant to be used on
the delicate skin of children.
Novemoer,uecemoer, 1 i:1i:1i:1
ducts that seem to be
available almost on a
monthly basis. For
example, instead of
using paint to cover
the entire face, there
are now glitter and
pressed powders that
do a wonderful job for
shading.
Make your brush the
most important tool in
your kit. A good quality
brush can make all the
difference in the world
when it comes to the
finished product.
To be the best you can
be -- practice, practice,
practice. Take as many
classes as you can with
as many different
teachers to help you
create your own style.
Make sure that your face painting library has all the great
books that are available to spark your creativity.
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It's perfect for parades,
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just clowning around.
It'~ fun!
Other things to think about: Learn how to entertain
while you face paint. Keep up to date with all the new pro-
The New calliope 35

November/December, 1999
International Ambassadors --
Adventures
One of the most innovative plans to be developed by
COAi is its International Ambassadors program, which finds
club members representing and promoting COAi in other
lands. To date, at least eight International Ambassadors
have been appointed, and more are in the works. Here are
reports from two COAi members who recently returned from
ambassadorial stints abroad.
From Antigua:
By Susie "L" Waddell
8528 Ventls Ln.
Powell, TN 37849
Even in the tropical heat of Antigua, West Indies, in
July, laughter and good humor prevailed as a team of eight
"Joy Clowns" went on mission. The Joy Clowns are a troupe
of gospel clowns based at Ridgeview Baptist Church in
Knoxville, TN. We were invited by the Southern Baptist
International Mission Board to lead Vacation Bible School in
a little village,and also to conduct clown ministry there.
abroad
Clowning has only just begun to become a part of the
culture in Antigua, but they were interested and eager to
learn the art of making smiles happen.
Since we were in clown nearly every day and had to
travel completely across the island and back, over and over,
we got lots oJ attention. Each time we entered the grocery
store, we had to do a show for people who stopped to see
what we were all about. Shopping always took a while. Many
of the Antiguans had never seen clowns except maybe on
TV.
Our clowning encompassed many activities. First, about
the clowning workshops. Because our posters advertising
the workshops were lost in the mail, we advertised by word
of mouth and by radio. We had about 30 curious people
show up to be trained in two evening sessions.
We first focused on basics: makeup tips, character
development, face painting techniques. We chose one
young man, 14-year-old Shawn, who seemed especially
interested in clowning. When the costume, shoes, nos·e
and wig were placed on Shawn,he immediately became a
clown -- what a natural! The last I heard Shawn is still clowning.
In the second workshop we presented hospital,
gospel/ministry and birthday party clowning. I explained
about Clowns of America International and the benefits of
belonging to the organization. I told them how to join COAi
and left materials for them.
"Lu" clowns with Antlguan youngsters
On a following Saturday we accompanied these new
joeys to a children's hospital and a nursing home, where we
did simple magic, gave out stickers an.o brought smiles to
hurting people. We were also privileged to present morning
worship services at two churches. Although clowning
had never been a part of a church service there, the pastors
were open to us and were quick to let us know later how
much they enjoyed our programs.
What a busy time ... We came home exhausted but
exhilarated, knowing that we wouldn't have missed this
opportunity to bring joy to another culture. And ... already
wanting to go back to Antigua.
From Turkey:
By Nan "Iris Rootsle Rainbow" MIiier
1725 Flnecroft Dr.
Claremont, CA 91711
My appointment as International Ambassador to Turkey
was an experience that opened new friendships and a
growing relationship with clowns in Turkey.
My adventure as a COAi Ambassador began months
before leaving on the trip. I contacted the new Turkish
36 The New Calliope

November/December, 1999
I made the decision to sponsor a year's COAi membership
for Arezu. It is my hope that our continued correspondence
will provide answers to her questions and support in
securing a clowning business in Istanbul.
MIiier (third from left) and Turkish clown friends
ambassador, who was most receptive to my needs and provided
me with information and phone numbers. From the
Chamber of Commerce in Istanbul I received the names of
two contacts for clowns, and made arrangements to meet
one of them, Miss Arezu Kahfizadeh. She said there were
two other girls who clowned with her and she would like to
bring them along when we met.
Our journey to Turkey was marked by some delays and
changes in itinerary. But I finally was able to connect with
Arezu and her friends -- Ebru Soyuerden and llkay Akgun.
The three young ladies are currently embarking on careers
in clowning.
Arezu is studying to be an actress, and also was working
at a Burger King, where she was introduced to and
given the opportunity to do clowning. She was quite
delighted with children's reaction to her performances at
Burger King and began to perform at birthday parties. She
found that Turkish children are very shy and afraid of whiteface
makeup and the big nose, so she no longer uses such
dramatic makeup. In fact, she said, she usually brings the
paint along to face paint the children and to let them paint
her face. Demand for her services has become so great that
she included her friends Ebru and llkay in the birthday party
circuit. She plays games, face paints and sings songs. She
does not have a clown name, and the children call her
"Polyocho," which is Turkish for "clown" or 'teacher."
Arezu said there are only a handful of "real" clowns that
are sponsored in Turkey . They were most curious to look at
The New Calliope magazine, and laughed at the concept
that clowning is taken so seriously in the United States and
that the organization is titled Clowns of America International.
That was a perfect opening for me to share our organization's
goal for international inclusion. The trio was quite
interested and curious as to what benefits membership
might afford them in trying to be taken seriously as professional
clowns .
COAi members who are planning trips to other countries
and who are interested in becoming a COAi International
Ambassador are encouraged to contact Keith 'Toby"
Stokes, COAi's International Marketing Director. He will assist
you in the appointment process and work with you to
make your appointment a success and a pleasure. Contact
Stokes at:
1539 Lake Clay Dr.
Lake Placid, FL 33852
Phone (941) 465-4438. Fax: (941) 465-2731.
emall: deelou@htn.net
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The New Calliope 37

November/December, 1999
The white lie
By Karen "Peppermint" Relnholt
P.O. Box 13187
Portland, OR 97213
How many times have we heard the expression "Do as I
say, not as I do"? Well, I should have listened to my own
advice.
The message on my voice mail was from the mother of a
little boy, Sean, whose birthday
I entertained at last year.
She was planning his party for
this year and wanted to book
me again. The Saturday she
was talking about I was not
available. In fact, I was not available
for that entire weekend.
Instead of telling her that I was
booked at other events, I honestly
explained that we had
friends coming in from out of
town. I told her I was sorry that
the date wouldn't work; but, if
she wanted, we could look at alternate dates; or, if she was
locked into that date, I would be more than happy to refer
her to another entertainer.
It was a mistake to tell her that I wasn't available due to
personal reasons. I should have taken my own advice and
simply said I was booked ( The New Calliope, Jan. I Feb.
1997) or out of town. These are, in my opinion, acceptable
"white lies" in our business. Of those two options, I figured
that if I told her I was booked on that date, she would have
tried to talk me into squeezing her party in somewhere during
that day. Or she would have tried to book me for the
early morning or evening. I didn't want to have to go
through the process of turning down every option she
might come up with to stay with that day. So, I broke my
own "rules" and told her I had blocked out the entire weekend
because we had friends coming in from out of town.
Mistakenly, I assumed she would understand.
She called back to beg me to make an appearance at
her son's party, even if it would only be for 30 minutes. Her
message was lengthy, citing all of the reasons I should do
this, including laying a heavy guilt trip on me about how
upset and disappointed her son would be if I didn't make it
to his party. She was sure that this was more important than
any personal plans I might have.
When I received this message, I had to sit back and take
a good look at this situation. It brought up several issues:
1) Sometimes a "little wr.ite lie" is okay. If I had told her I
was going to be out of town, it would have eliminated her
trying to convince me to "make an appearance" at her son's
party. If I had told her I was booked solid for the day and/or
weekend, she might have tried to find a time where I could
squeeze her party in. However, she would have been
much more accepting of my not being available.
Once I gave a personal reason as an excuse, it left me
wide open. It is unfortunate but true that people view entertainers
as always being available. Available to answer the
phone day or night, available to perform on any day, any
evening, any weekend. I have received phone calls on
Christmas morning at 9:30 am from a grandmother wanting
to book me for an event the following week for all of her
grandchildren. Of course, I didn't answer the call, since it
was coming in on my business phone. But, it surprised me
because it was a call about a Christmas party, so this grandmother
had to be thinking of what day it was and what time
she was calling. I have also received calls on every other
imaginable holiday including Thanksgiving, Mother's Day,
Father's Day, etc. These are special days, in my home,
when I choose not to answer the business phone.
Calls come in late at night, sometimes at 2:00 or 3:00
am. The reason behind this, I believe, is simply that people
call when they are thinking of their event. They might
assume that a business phone is in an office, usually considered
to be away from the home. Consequently, they
feel free to call at all hours of the day or night, assuming it
won't bother you. Or it may be that they just aren't using
common sense as to what time they are calling. This is
another reason why it's a good idea to have a separate
phone for your clowning business, so you will be able to let
the voice mail take over when you don't want to be answering
business-related calls.
A lot of calls come in late afternoon or early evening and
the message is usually a request to get back to them that
same day. The assumption is that we work or are available at
all hours of the day or night to answer their questions and
book their party. It continues to surprise me when the voice
mail registers at 8:30 pm and the message from the parent
is asking that I still return the call that same evening. On the
occasions when I comply and try to reach them at night,
they are usually in the middle of getting their little ones to
bed and it is a difficult time to talk. Consequently, I prefer to
wait and return their call the following morning. If they are
working at a job during the day, then you can leave a message
to let them know you are returning their call and ask
what is the most convenient time to get back to them. You
can also request any additional number(s) where you can
reach them during the day.
As far as working on holidays, each entertainer has their
own preferences. Calls come in for every conceivable day,
event and time. Every year, I receive requests to perform
for birthday parties for Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve,
almost always in the early evening. Ironically, these are the
same ones who want a lower, discounted price for their par-
38 The New Calliope

November /December, 1999
ty. Not only are they looking for someone who doesn't
celebrate those days , but they are also looking for compet i­
tive pricing. This has always made me scratch my head and
wonder if they really thought through their plans before
making phone calls to various entertainers. Of course, it is
entirely up to you, the individual performer, whether you
consider doing parties on these days or not. It is also up to
you to decide whether to honor someone's request for a
lower, discounted price. My personal feelings are that, if
someone is requesting an entertainer on a special holiday,
the fee should be your normal fee or possibly a slightly
higher rate. Again, that is your own personal decision.
If you do not wish to perform on holidays, it is beneficial
to find out which quality entertainers DO perform. Then you
can refer those events on to professionals. There are
several wonderful clowns in my area who are not married
and do not have children. Consequently, they view Mother's
and Father's Days as just another Sunday and are more
than happy to perform. They also will work on Christmas
Eve, Easter Sunday and many other special times. Parents
and event coordinators are very grateful if you can direct
them to another performer for their special day events. This
is usually better than just telling the caller that you're not
available, hanging up and leaving them floundering as to
who else to call. It will leave them appreciative of the help
you've given them if you can refer them on to someone
who you know will do a good job for thei r event.
Now, getting back to Sean's party . Another issue this
brough_t up is:
2) Parents do not have any concept as to the time
involved in getting ready to do a birthday party. Sean's
mother was asking me to "just come over for about 30
minutes" right in the middle of the day when she already
had been told we had friends coming in from out of town.
had this vision of what she must picture my home life as -­
that I run around my house always looking like "Peppermint"
and can simply hop into my car to make a 30 minute
appearance. It makes one chuckle, but also realize that this
is not as unusual as one might think.
The general public has no concept as to what we go
through to do a birthday party: planning the party , packing
our case, getting into makeup and driving to their home.
After the party is through, we drive back home, get out of
makeup and unpack/ put things away. Depending on how
much time it takes to get into makeup and how far we have
to travel both ways, a one-hour party can easily encompass
3 to 5 hours. That is one of the reasons that I prefer to perform
at more than one party on any given day; because,
once I'm in makeup, I'd rather do multiple
Continued next page
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The New Calliope 39

November/December, 1999
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Name __ ____________ _
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White
lie--
From preceding page
events. The preparation time is the same whether you are
doing one party or more.
After Sean's mother asked me to do a quick, 30-minute
appearance, I realized that she never stopped to consider
the limitations it would put on an entire day for this. In her
mind, it was simply a matter of my excusing myself from my
friends, hopping in the car, making the short appearance
and being able to continue where I left off upon my return
home. It didn't occur to her that it would eliminate my making
any plans to be away from my home, to take our friends
sight-seeing, to make early dinner plans, to get tickets to a
movie or theater or whatever. All she could think of was
securing entertainment for her child's party. That was her
focus. That was the most important thing to her.
That is one thing that all of us should always keep in
mind. The parent calling for her child's birthday party is concerned
with just one thing: getting entertainment for her
child's special day. The parent doesn't want to hear about
our personal plans. They don't want to hear of possible
problems with scheduling. They don't want to hear any of
the normal, everyday-living conflicts that we might encounter.
They are interested in one thing: are you or are you not
available to entertain at their child's party?
Because of my citing a personal reason to Sean's mother,
I had to call her back and explain that we had plans with
our friends for that day and those plans would not allow for
me to make even a 30-minute appearance. I then gave her
names and phone numbers of other quality entertainers
that she could call. I could have alleviated all of those backand-forth
phone calls if I had just followed my own advice.
That is why I have said it before and I will say it again: it
is better not to tell a parent that you cannot do their child's
party because of personal reasons. It keeps it professional
if you simply tell the parent that you are already booked for
that time. It sounds so much better for the parent to tell
their friends that they were unable to get a certain clown for
their child's party because r.e I she was already booked
rather than that you were unavailable because you wanted
to hit the sidewa lk sales at the mall.
Keeping it professional at all times is best. The parents
and event coordinators will be respectful of your schedule
and, also, any assistance you can give them in finding a suitable
replacement for their party or event. If we can eliminate
the "spaghetti" when we talk to parents, it sounds much
more professional. The spaghetti is all the unnecessary,
extraneous information and excuses. Follow the "KISS"
philosophy: Keep It Simple, Silly.
And remember to always have fun with your clowning!
PO Box 13187, Portland, OR 97213 or e-mail
Pepprmnttc@aol.com
40 The New Calliope

~een any good
TV lately'?
By Lee "Juggles" Mullally
1817 S.W. 76th Terrace
Galnesvllle, FL 32607
As a clown, it's important to watch a bit of TV. Obviously,
children watch a great deal of TV, and they get many ideas
from that activity. You, too, could get many ideas from that
medium. I am not referring to such programs as Monday
Night Football or Dharma and Greg. I am referring to the cartoons
children watch. Have you met the latest rage, the
Pokemon characters?
Last week, while doing some face painting at a promotional
event for an automobile dealership, I was asked to
turn a little guy into a Pokemon. For those face painters
who believe in using a facepainting menu for crowd control
or setting limits on the characters/designs you paint, you
can point to the menu and indicate that Pokemon characters
are not among the choices for the day. In my case, I
enjoy the challenge of painting different figures, and it eliminates
me having to watch the disappointment on the face of
a child. Since my artistic skills enable me to use that
approach and I was familiar with some Pokemon characters, I
was able to turn the little guy into Pikachu. The youngster
beamed as he looked into the mirror and proudly told his
parents that "Juggles turned me into Pikachu." That little
guy was truly "electrified," at least in his mind.
How are you deallng with the cartoon characters
of today?
You can practice a few Pokemon characters so you
become proficient at creating them with your face paints.
And the notion of becoming familiar with the characters
children are watching on TV is not limited to facepainters. I
am certain many of my balloonologist clown friends are now
working on Pokemon characters. If a balloonologist
provides a menu from which children can select balloofigures,
I am sure some will be adding Pokemon figures to
their menu choices.
In the case of facepainting and balloon sculpturing, if
you keep up with what children are watching on TV, you will
be able to expand upon your creations, and better communicate
with children as you are performing your skills.
I'1ovemoer1uecemoer, 1 !::J!::J9
U.S. Postal Service
Statement of Ownership,
Management and Circulation
(Required by 39 U.S. C. 3685)
1. Publication Trtle: The New Calliope
2. Publication Number: 01()--498
3. Filing Date: Oct.1, 1999
4. Issue frequency: Bimonthly
5. Number of issues published annually: 6
6. Annual subscription price: $20
7. Complete mailing address of Headquarters or General Business office of
Publisher: P.O. Box 6468, Lee's Summit, MO 64064-6468
8. Complete Mailing Address of Headquarters or General Business Office of
Publisher: Clowns of America International, P.O. Box 6468, Lee's Summit, MO
64064-6468
9. Full names and Complete Mailing Address of Publisher, Editor and
Managing Editor:
Publisher: Clowns of America International
P.O. Box 6468, Lee's Summit, MO 64064-6468.
Editor: Cal Olson, 2000 Outer Dr. N., #523, Sioux City, IA 51104.
Managing Editor: Cal Olson,2000 Outer Dr. N., #523, Sioux City, IA 51104.
10. Owner: Clowns of America International, P.O. Box 6468, Lee's Summit,
MO 640646468.
11. Known Bondholders, Mortgagees, and Other Security Holders Owning or
Holding 1 Percent or More of Total Amount of Bonds, Mortgages, or Other
Securities: None
12. Tax Status (For completion by nonprofit organizations authorized to mail at
special rates). The purpose, function, and nonprofit status of this organization
and the exempt status for federal income tax purposes: Has Not Changed
During Preceding 12 Months.
13. Publication Trtle: The New Calliope
14. Issue Date for Circulation Data Below: September/October 1999.
15. Extent and Nature of Circulation Average No. Copies Actual No. Copies
Each Issue During of Single Issue
Preceding 12 mos. Published nearest
to filing date
a Total No. copies (net press run)
b. Paid and/or requested Circulation
(1) Paid/requested outside-county mail
subscriptions stated on Form 3541
(include adverttiser's proof and
exchange copies)
(2) Paid in-county subscriptions (include
advertiser's proof and exchange
copies
6,016
5,673
5,&X>
5,227
(3) Sales through dealers and carriers,
Street vendors, counter sales O
(4) Other classes mailed through USPS 0
c. Total paid and/or requested circulation 5,768
d.. Free distribution by mail
0
0
5,319
1. Outside county 3 3
2. In-county 151 161
e. Free distribution outside the mail ro ro
f. Total free distribution a>4 214
g. Total distribution 5,972 5,533
h. Copies not distributed 44 or
i. Total sum of 15g, 15h (1), and 15h (2) 6,016 5,a:xl
Percent paid and/or requested circulation 95.87 98.98
16. Publication of Statement of Ownership Publication required. Will be
printed in the November/December 1999 issue of this publication.
17. Signature and title of editor,publisher , business manager or owner
David Barnett, Business Manager. Date 10-1-99
For those of you who have young children, this advice
is easy to follow, since you are often with them as they view
the tube. If you don't have young children, make the effort
to watch those kid shows, anyhow. It's worth your while.
Remember to enjoy life -- it's not a dress rehearsal.
The New Calliope 41

November/December, 1999
Here's the drill on alley reporting:
After an alley is chartered, alley membership must be
kept at 100% COAi at all times. The alley is required to file a
report annually to the alley coordinator. This is to
strengthen the contact between COAi and the alley. This
report will also help you update the information concerning
the alleys with the regional VPs.After your report is filed you
will be listed as an active alley in the COAi Roster.
By Dan "Dano" Lake
Director, Alley/Reglonal Support
13005 Lakerldge Dr.
St. Louis, MO 63138
Where has all of the time gone? 1 oo years seems just
like yesterday.Well, we're coming to the end of the Millennium.
Alleys everywhere are doing millennium parties. We'll all
be deadly sick of the word after it's over use in the next two -
three years.A lot of alley anniversaries are coming up, send
me information on how your alley will celebrate.
The 2000 annual alley reports will be in the mail in the
next week or two. I hope by December 11.lf your alley
checks your post office box infrequently, have your pickup
people check during December at least twice to pickup your
report form. Get those filled out as soon as possible and
send it i('l. If you're having elections at the end of the year or
in January go ahead and fill out the form and send it and an
alley roster. You can always l:Jpdate the report at a later time.
BEHIND THE BIG
RED NOSE
A serious look at how to develop
your talents and discover your
direction in today's clowning
by David Bartlett a.k.a. Mr. Rainbow
Collection of columns, some material previous]
published in the Pot Of Gold series.
Send check for $35 to David Bartlett
1427 Acadia St. Durham, N.C. 27701
"It touches so many areas that people need
to think about and know before they step
out the door for the first time in clown.
. . .. What you talk about is the
foundation of clowning."
Bob Gretton, Maryland
" ... an investment ... you will use for the rest
ofyour career. "
Denise Hall, Florida
"Every clown should read this!"
Leon McBryde, Virginia.
If you do not report at the requested time the alley will
be put on an inactive list. You will have one year to respond
with a report and roster.If after the next reporting time (one
year) and you have not reported, your alley is removed from
the alley roster.Once removed from the roster your alley
may reapply and will have to send in an alley startup fee of
$100. to be chartered again.
The alley number for those alleys removed from the
roster will be retained for a length of 2 years after the
removal dates if they choose to be chartered again. After
the two year time period that alley will be issued a new alley
number if and when it reapplies.Let's get those reports in
early this year.
How to bulld a strong alley
It's like a diamond, it has many facets. After you have
your five members for a start, you need a good setup or
plan. If you're a very small alley it can be very simple. Have
one person in charge who will organize your events and
determine what the alley is going to do for the year. Go with
that.
If you have more than a couple of handfuls of clowns
then it can become more complicated. Most alleys need a
set of bylaws to help define how things are done and who
does what in a timely manner. It too can be simple at first but
as time goes along different situations come up and more
issues may be added to the bylaws. Next, as your alley
grows, you'll do more events and need more people to do
more things for the club. Having a good strong set of officers
is a key to making an alley work smoothly. Not only can
they make decisions for the alley; a good officer knows how
to delegate to other people so that no one person is saddled
with too much work. A smart activities director, in time,
will know what activiites to get and accept for their members.
The officers also need to be open enough to know what
their member's wants and needs are .
Next, an educational plan for the whole year. This will
keep your alley members improving, updating and interested.
Bringing in educators from the outside gives you different
ideas and perspective on how to clown. COAi can help
you with that, with the Artists in Residence program.
Encouraging your members to go to regional and international
conventions can help your members get a whole different
perspective on clowning.and the way clowns do
things in other areas. This experience will help your alley
42 The New Calliope

November/December, 1999
change things or reaffirm what you are doing •
Having alley events at different levels can help also.
Working different events for different groups of people will
expose you to parts of your community you might not normally
be exposed to.
Money can be a problem for an alley. You can have too
little or too much. Having too little will result in high alley
dues, making it hard for members to make ends meet.
Clowning can be very expensive for most clowns, with
makeup, costume, props and supplies. So having a high
dollar amount in dues can put a burden on a clown. Having
too much money in an alley can result in members not
knowing what to do with it: Give it away to a charity, which is
nice; bringing in education from the outside, which is a
great idea; offsetting the expenses of the alley, keeping
the dues low -- all great ideas that should be considered.
An alley that is socially active out of clown can have fun
and get to know each clown's family with non-clown events:
picnics, holiday parties or just social get togethers. Having
an alley scrap book to show past events can be a lot of fun
for family members.
Where do you get all of these clowns to make up-a
strong alley? Clown schools is one source. Set and advertise
your clown school. There are people out there that at
one time thought clowning would be fun but didn't know
how to go about it. A clown school, run by experienced and
knowledgeable people can help students on their way to a
great clowning experience. Show them what your alley can
do for them and they will join.
These are just a few things that can be done to make
your alley strong. It is essential that your members learn
more to become good looking, talented, confident clowns.
This will make the alley important to them and to you. As
long as your alley has something to offer its members they
will keep coming back.
If you would like to start an alley in your area, first you
need to contact me so I can send you our alley startup kit.
Then you need at least five clowns to start an alley. All of
your members need to be COAi members at all times to
hold a COAi charter. There is a one-time fee of $100. For
more info write or email me to the addresses on page 3 of
the magazine.
Have a happy and safe holiday season.
~OAI simply
the best
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The New Calliope 43

November/December, 1999
Around the Regioffi
From the Northwest:
From Andi Rothweiler of Spokane, WA, comes word
that the 11th Northwest Clown Festival was a huge success
in that city Sept. 232-26. It was attended by 116 joeys.
Theme of the Fest: Clown Jung le Safari. The event
opened with Marlene "Eartha" 'Azar and Major and Donna
Krewson presenting an outstanding show. The Festiva l
designated charity was Cat Tales Endangered Species Park
in Spokane, and two senior zoo keepers made a great presentation
about the park. They brought a special guest, a
New Guinea singing dog named Singer. He was a great hit
(especially with the homemade palm tree on stage, a real
clown stage show stopper).
The celebration also included a birthday party celebration
with cakes for everyone. Red Nose rules were used for
skits and paradeability. The parade was, literally, a blast!
Clowns paraded outside in a wind and dust storm, with
winds up to 60 mph. You can imagine what the wigs looked
like. Andi reports that the Festival charity auction garnered
$2,000 for Cat Tales. She concludes: "What a way to end
this century. Hakuna Matata."
From the Southeast:
A report of the 11th annual Clown-A-Rama hosted by
Clowns Galore of Clearwater, FL and Park Side Mall comes
from Elaine "Berry-Merry" Pettit, alley president. She says
Alley 67 clowns from six other alleys on Florida's west coast
participated : Clownin' Around Tampa, Fools for Christ, Lollipoppers,
Morton Plant Mease Hospital Clowns, Sarasota
Circus Clowns, and Suncoast Classical Clowns.
Events included a clowns parade, skits and audience
participation in a 32-bell hand bell choir. Then clowns
offered face painting, balloon twisting and walkarounds
thro ughout the mall. After it was all over, the mall provided
door prizes and refreshments for the clowns, giving participants
time to unwind and socialize.
For information on sponsoring an International Clown
Week of this magnitude, contact "Berry-Merry" at (727) 572-
7215, or email BerryClwn@aol.com
From the Northeast:
Writing in The South Shore Joeys Newsletter (Chapter
159A),"Pickles" pleads with fellow joeys: "Stop putting a
clown wig on a victim ('cause that's what they may become)
job after job after job. Head lice is no laughing matter, and it
takes many mar:,y dollars and hours of physical labor to rid
your child(ren) and home of them. It seems to strike
younger children as they are more huggy, physically playful
and willing to share their precious stuffed animals with their
friends.
She concludes: "Please please please stick with paper
hat tears and keep your little clients itch free."
From South Central:
Group photo above shows some of the 50 new joey s
who graduated from an eight-week Clown School hosted
by members of Cheerful Clown Alley #166 in Houston , TX.
Graduation ceremonies were held at a local mall.where
students performed single or group skits and walkarounds
for their familes and for the many mall shoppers. Members
find the mall setting is beneficial in promoting the art of
clowning and generates interest for next year 's class .
Says Alley President Patti "Pattica ke" Gilbert: "It's great to
see the excitement and the glow on the faces of new
clowns . Many of these new joeys have already joined COAi
and our alley , and have begun volunteering at our local hospitals
and other non-profit functions."
44 The New Calliope

State Ambassadors
off and running
By Dan "Dano" Lake
Director, Alley/Region Support
I think we have all of our ducks in a row now with the
State Ambassador program. COAi Board members now
have all the information for the project. Those COAi members
who have signed up for the program should have
been contacted by now. If not get in touch with your
regional VP for the updated information .
COAi State Ambassador's appointees must meet these
requirements:
+ COAi member for at least 3 years.
+ Been performing as a clown for at least 5 years.
+ Submit information as to training and past performances.
+ Submit picture of applicant in clown face and attire .
Ambassadors will be under the direct supervision of
their respective Regional Vice President, and serve the
same term of appointment as their regional VP. They will
perform as Ambassador without compensation and without
charging any member or alley for their assistance. They will
be free to accept a donation but no fees or charges will be
made. They will be recognized at COAi's International convention.
State Ambassadors will be expected to explain and
promote COAi to interested parties. To that end,they must
be conversant with such COAi projects as International
Clown week (the CHARLIE award), the Artists in Residence
Program,, the benefits of 100% COAi alley membership,
Clown of the Year award, etc.
To become a COAi State Ambassador, please contact
your Regional Vice President.
www.COAI.or~ (check it out!)
COAi's web page is up and it's r.unning hot. COAi's
webmaster, Steve Fowler, works with the new chair of
COAi's web committee, Pam Bacher, to improve the site.
The web site now contains information on clown history,
COAi conventions, and a wide range of additional
clown information. If you want to know what COAi officers
look like in clown and a little bit about them, check out the
site. www.COAl.org
Some COAi members have indicated they don't want
their names on the web. If you feel this way, make sure to
contact COAi's business manager, David Barnett, so that he
can honor your request.
November/December, 1999
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL.
"May you and yours
ever enjoy the blessings
of health"
HmRptJ DmnptJ Assa. home of
WoPld Safeq GloWR Gnlld
908 241-3374 www.humptydumpty.org
rf]-~
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( ~- Presents
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New lower prices!
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For our great catalog send $2.00 with your
name and address to:
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' ~

November/December, 1999
Clowns of America International
Income, expense and balance statement
REVENUE
Membership
Alley charters
Magazine ads
Merchandise
Convention
Interest
Misc. 24.00
Web page
TOTAL REV. $38,537.89
as of June 30, 1999
July/Augf/Sep YEAR'S TOTAL
$33,249.89 $33,249.89
300.00 300.00
4,715.00 4,715.00
249.00 249 .00
24.00
1,050.00
$38,537.89
Let 'em know
you belong
Sweatshirts
Large & X-Large only
Four colors: Navy, Ash, Forest
Green, Red
$20, plus ~-00 postage
Post-paid
Patches
Pins
Decals
Multi-colored hats
License plate holders
Order:
stuff!
$3.00
$3.00
$1.00
$15 .00
$3.00
Walter R. Lee
1347 Ava Rd.
Severn, MD 21144
(Checks payable to COAi)
EXPENSES
Returned checks
New Calliope prod'tion 4,623.00
Editor fee 5,120.00
New Calliope postage 1,572 .61
Computer service 4,511 .91
Postage 3,666.81
Printed matter 1,950.72
Merchandise
Cl Hall of Fame
Publicity 150.00
Convention
Education 2q9.94
Misc.
Fall Board meeting 500.00
Officers phone/postage 479.94
Trophies
Board meeting 198.00
Professional services 30.00
National Office 633.18
Innovation/development 77.47
Clown Artist/ Residence
Web page 220.00
Insurance 1,085.00
Tax payment
TOTALEXP. $25,088.58
BALANCE SHEET
Carry over from
last period
Total revenue
Total expenses
Money Mkt.Acct.
Money Mkt Transfer
89,208.79
38,537.89
25,088 .58
6,880.97
85,000.00
Petty cash 2,000.00
NET CASH BAL. 15,658.10
HELD IN CDs 132,951.87
Respectfully submitted,
Tony R. Jones, Treasurer
4,623.00
5,120.00
1,572.61
4,511.91
3,666 .81
1,950.72
150.00
269.94
500.00
479.94
198.00
30.00
633.18
77.47
220.00
1,085.00
$25,088.58
15,658.10
38,537.89
25,088.58
6,880.97
2,000.00
132,951.87
46 The New Calliope

November/December , 1999
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107 RED & BLAC K
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119 RED & BLACK
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VISIT US ON fflE WEB AT: WWW.MOOSEBURGER.COM\GAGBAG.HTM
The New Calliope 47

November/December, 1999
Members of Virginia Alley #3 celebrated
their 30th anniversary In 1999, laylng clalm
to be the oldest alley In COAi.
Clowns of America International
Lee's Summit, MO 64064-6468
November/December, 1999
Volume 16, Number 6
Periodical Postage
Paid at Bluffton, Ohio
48 The New Calliope