THE FIGHT SOCAL'S LGBTQ MONTHLY MAGAZINE JUNE 2019

No one has the right to dictate who someone is or identifies as.
The only person who has permission to identify you is yourself.
BY GABRIEL GREEN
“IT IS EXTREMELY
DISHEARTENING WHEN
PEOPLE, WHO KNOW
WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO
BE OPPRESSED BY THE
MAJORITY, FEEL IT IS OKAY
TO OPPRESS OTHERS
BECAUSE THEY ARE
DIFFERENT.”
Jack Thompson, Mr Leatherman Of
Color 2019, is the newly crowned
International Mr. Leather 2019.
Jack Thompson is a proud biracial
transman. In his IML speech Jack
said “My whole life, I’ve been told that
I am not enough. Not black enough, not
queer enough, not smart enough, not
strong enough. Hell, there are people in
this room right who don’t think I’m man
enough to be allowed on this stage…”
As person who is a multi-racial gay man
of color, his speech resonated with me. My
whole life, I have also been told that I am
not black enough, not strong enough or
man enough simply for being gay.
These messages came from the
community I grew up in and more
so from my mother who shortly
before I came out to her (and later
kicked me out for being gay) told
me, “If you’re gay, people won’t
see you as a man anymore, they’ll
just see you as male.” My mother
later became an educator at the
University I went to and taught her
students about the marginalization
of Black women in America.
Not a day had passed after
Jack had received his title
when someone decided
to express his opinion
on Facebook about
the win,
writing: “I am happy for the winner, BUT
it is International MR Leather. He identifies
as a man. But not born a man. I feel that
decision is politically motivated… Unless
he has fully changed all parts, I feel that the
decision is politically unacceptable.”
His opinion harkened back to the sentiment
my mother has about gay men:
“You’re not a real man unless you (fill in
the blank).”
It saddens me that in this day and age,
that people, especially those who are in
a marginalized group, tend to marginalize
those in another group they don’t
understand.
It is extremely disheartening when
people, who know what it feels like to be
oppressed by the majority, feel it is okay to
oppress others because they are different.
In the LGBTQ community, we as gay
men specifically have been told we are
disgusting, sinners, ungodly, abominations,
filthy, not worthy of love, not worthy
of God’s love, along with a whole host of
other slurs.
More importantly we are told we are
“not man enough” or “real men” based
on our sexuality. We know how hurtful
and painful it is to have these things
said about us. To have these things so
ingrained in us that it creates shame and
low-self esteem, which takes years for a
lot of us to overcome before, and especially
after, we come out.
Given our experience, how can we then
do the same to someone else, who is
brave enough to share with us who he is
and live his truth?
It’s okay not understand someone when
we are not in their shoes and walking
their walk. But it is certainly not okay
to tell them they are not enough,
not a real man/woman or deserving
of the accolades they received
because of their gender identity.
No one has the right to dictate
who someone is or identifies
as. The only person who has
permission to identify you is
yourself.
Gabriel Green is President of the
Los Angeles Band Of Brothers,
President of Bears LA and
Executive Producer at Green
Mirror Entertainment.
24 THE FIGHT | www.thefightmag.com