big-magic-elizabeth-gilbert2

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Instead, I got a mother whowasn’t having it. She wasn’t havinga minute of my drama, which isprobably the luckiest thing that everhappened to me. My mom grew upon a farm in Minnesota, the proudproduct of tough Scandinavianimmigrants, and she was not aboutto raise a little candy-ass. Not onher watch. My mother had a planfor turning around my fear that wasalmost comic in itsstraightforwardness: At every turn,she made me do exactly what Idreaded most.Scared of the ocean? Get inthat ocean!
Afraid of the snow? Time to goshovel snow!Can’t answer the telephone?You are now officially in charge ofanswering the telephone in thishouse!Hers was not a sophisticatedstrategy, but it was consistent. Trustme, I resisted her. I cried andsulked and deliberately failed. Irefused to thrive. I lagged behind,limping and trembling. I would doalmost anything to prove that I wasemotionally and physically totallyenfeebled.To which my mom was, like,“No, you aren’t.”
Page 2: Also by Elizabeth GilbertPilgrimsSt
Page 6 and 7: Trustees of the Estate of the late
Page 8 and 9: This one’s for you, Rayya
Page 10 and 11: ContentsTitle PageCopyrightDedicati
Page 12: Courage
Page 15 and 16: Pittsburgh in 1925 and grew up inth
Page 17 and 18: People were crazy about him. Hecoul
Page 19 and 20: by the publication of somethingsubl
Page 21 and 22: furnace of this world.”)He and I
Page 23 and 24: their lives to be.I never met Jack
Page 25 and 26: He smiled at the girl withinfinite
Page 27 and 28: both for its own amusement and foro
Page 29 and 30: people swing for the bleachers.)No,
Page 31 and 32: soul-searching, the way one does on
Page 33 and 34: perhaps, because now, as an adult,s
Page 35 and 36: transcendence while she is stillher
Page 37 and 38: courage, let’s try to get you som
Page 39 and 40: taken seriously.You’re afraid you
Page 41 and 42: good measure.)You’re afraid of be
Page 43 and 44: ever go well again.You’re afraid
Page 45 and 46: earliest memories.Growing up, I was
Page 47: indoors, snuggled on my mother’sl
Page 51 and 52: Fear Is BoringOver the years, I’v
Page 53 and 54: emphatic word, repeated at fullvolu
Page 55 and 56: Do you see what I mean? You don’t
Page 57 and 58: The Fear YouNeed and the FearYou Do
Page 59 and 60: you would lead a short, crazy,stupi
Page 61 and 62: bloody, horrible death. Basically,y
Page 63 and 64: without fear marching rightalongsid
Page 65 and 66: life, and that you take your jobser
Page 67 and 68: Then we head off together—meand c
Page 69 and 70: those treasures to light takes work
Page 72 and 73: An Idea ArrivesNow that we’re don
Page 74 and 75: government got a notion to build ag
Page 76 and 77: discovered to their horror that the
Page 78 and 79: throughout history) that I believe
Page 80 and 81: With all due respect, I disagree.I
Page 82 and 83: into the world, the idea will payyo
Page 84 and 85: buzzy thoughts, that feeling offall
Page 86 and 87: inspiration’s invitation out ofla
Page 88 and 89: saying no, no, no, no, no.Then agai
Page 90 and 91: You will find no shortage of rolemo
Page 92 and 93: you die, so if you prefer a short l
Page 94 and 95: living your most creative life, wit
Page 96 and 97: intriguing and worthwhile. You canl
Page 98 and 99:
hands on it, so to speak. I promise
Page 100 and 101:
Minnesota. She’s a spinster whoha
Page 102 and 103:
I decided I would call the novelEve
Page 104 and 105:
entire life immediately and go join
Page 106 and 107:
I’m forever grateful to that book
Page 108 and 109:
gone missing. What I mean is thatth
Page 110 and 111:
than two years. What was the ideasu
Page 112 and 113:
and catch the next idea that comesa
Page 114 and 115:
his should be the end of my AmazonT
Page 116 and 117:
I thought, My goodness! She’s som
Page 118 and 119:
stood. But what she did next waswon
Page 120 and 121:
casually mentioned in a letter that
Page 122 and 123:
“You go first,” she said, “si
Page 124 and 125:
married boss for many years. Hegets
Page 126 and 127:
pharmaceutical industry. But othert
Page 128 and 129:
that Ann Patchett had stolen myidea
Page 130 and 131:
that’s why you’ll never be grea
Page 132 and 133:
seek the swiftest and most efficien
Page 134 and 135:
cultivated, or had never gottenarou
Page 136 and 137:
consciousness, I didn’t let it ou
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hearing this was one of sheer relie
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nonchalant about losing those ideas
Page 142 and 143:
same scientific conclusions at thes
Page 144 and 145:
looks like inspiration hedging itsb
Page 146 and 147:
because—I promise—if you showup
Page 148 and 149:
when the poem reached her andpassed
Page 150 and 151:
Hard Labor vs.Fairy DustIbelieve in
Page 152 and 153:
powerful and generous—and thatsom
Page 154 and 155:
and who sometimes aided you inyour
Page 156 and 157:
Pinned Beneaththe BoulderIthink soc
Page 158 and 159:
lose the ability to take themselves
Page 160 and 161:
speak about this predicament frompe
Page 162 and 163:
But what does any of that have todo
Page 164 and 165:
a lost early manuscript of hers was
Page 166 and 167:
Does it seem sacrilegious evento su
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even working for a bunch ofdifferen
Page 170 and 171:
critic, tellingly, described it as
Page 172 and 173:
sometimes like my genius sits in th
Page 174 and 175:
grace or not, I thank creativity fo
Page 176 and 177:
read State of Wonder knows fullwell
Page 178 and 179:
live in a most remarkable world,thi
Page 180 and 181:
admittedly.I cannot think of a bett
Page 183 and 184:
IRemove theSuggestion Boxdidn’t g
Page 185 and 186:
school board, volunteered at thelib
Page 187 and 188:
When my father grew curiousabout th
Page 189 and 190:
that you remove the suggestionbox.I
Page 191 and 192:
when it comes to the business ofcre
Page 193 and 194:
assertion that gave me the idea tha
Page 195 and 196:
ere’s what I’m getting at, dear
Page 197 and 198:
the original people who watchedthe
Page 199 and 200:
doesn’t, though. Some acts ofarti
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interesting and the novel.And inspi
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problem-solvers, and embellishers
Page 205 and 206:
Ihave a neighbor who gets tattoos a
Page 207 and 208:
a short while, so I decided a longt
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Because it’s all just temporary.E
Page 211 and 212:
Without this arrogance of belonging
Page 213 and 214:
like this: “Who the hell do you t
Page 215 and 216:
what I am, but I’mcurious enough
Page 217 and 218:
what the outcome, and no matterhow
Page 219 and 220:
See?Now you’re the one doing thet
Page 221 and 222:
said, “We have learned nothing in
Page 223 and 224:
MotivesOh, and here’s another thi
Page 225 and 226:
burden, rather than to save orrelie
Page 227 and 228:
this book for my own pleasure,becau
Page 229 and 230:
It’s okay if your work is fun for
Page 231 and 232:
to have received what I consider to
Page 233 and 234:
Four of them never even got pasthig
Page 235 and 236:
On one hand, I completelyunderstand
Page 237 and 238:
because debt will always be theabat
Page 239 and 240:
a few years of creative study—hes
Page 241 and 242:
schooling in the arts withoutrealiz
Page 243 and 244:
means; I am merely againstcrippling
Page 245 and 246:
learned along the way.If you are a
Page 247 and 248:
things. We need you to reveal to us
Page 249 and 250:
walls of museums; they live inrecor
Page 251 and 252:
education, but never put it intopra
Page 253 and 254:
work every shift, save all mymoney,
Page 255 and 256:
rejected, rejected, rejected,reject
Page 257 and 258:
straight back out into the universe
Page 259 and 260:
awareness I held that I had chosen
Page 261 and 262:
one another carefully, therebyprecl
Page 263 and 264:
out his heart in this letter,compla
Page 265 and 266:
hung it over his desk, as well hesh
Page 267 and 268:
to stop complaining if you want tol
Page 269 and 270:
elsewhere.”I have felt this pheno
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actually mean it.For one thing, it
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talents and abilities? Sure, we can
Page 275 and 276:
then, okay? It will only weigh youd
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It doesn’t matter in the least. L
Page 279 and 280:
point: I’ve published six books
Page 281 and 282:
—nobody reads my books.”Over tw
Page 283 and 284:
other people should not. If I amall
Page 285 and 286:
suppose, she needed to. (It mayhave
Page 287 and 288:
art.Then stubbornly continue making
Page 289 and 290:
so seriously, because—in the fina
Page 291 and 292:
smooth maintenance of the humancomm
Page 293 and 294:
essential or inescapable (food,shel
Page 295 and 296:
Nigeria, or a radical filmmakerunde
Page 297 and 298:
Maybe I won’t always besuccessful
Page 299 and 300:
anyone who was so articulate andwis
Page 301 and 302:
already in the van! You have fivemi
Page 303 and 304:
noticed that his children felt full
Page 305 and 306:
big a deal. He told me, “I realiz
Page 307 and 308:
Otherwise, what’s the point ofhav
Page 309 and 310:
future of humanity depends upon myg
Page 311:
Persistence
Page 314 and 315:
happen. I retreated to my bedroomon
Page 316 and 317:
for any external rewards for mydevo
Page 318 and 319:
close to it. On bad days, when I fe
Page 320 and 321:
a Southern gothic novelist, because
Page 322 and 323:
day, or studying auto mechanicsever
Page 324 and 325:
Square back in the day. She was afu
Page 326 and 327:
expanding, as if my mind werebeing
Page 328 and 329:
because NYU had granted me adiploma
Page 330 and 331:
for a project just a few weeks afte
Page 332 and 333:
with us—then I could usually gett
Page 334 and 335:
The ShitSandwichBack in my early tw
Page 336 and 337:
the work. Frustration is not aninte
Page 338 and 339:
effects. As Manson writes withprofo
Page 340 and 341:
If you truly want to see theworld,
Page 342 and 343:
Your Day JobThe whole time I waspra
Page 344 and 345:
years, I have watched so many other
Page 346 and 347:
it’s dangerous to be childish.)Ot
Page 348 and 349:
for a while to save up money untili
Page 350 and 351:
me they’re quitting their day job
Page 352 and 353:
wrote in her spare hours. That’sw
Page 354 and 355:
but an ox. The ox had twohandsome h
Page 356 and 357:
made. Most individuals have neverha
Page 358 and 359:
stretch of time in which to create(
Page 360 and 361:
rarely exists here on earth.Melvill
Page 362 and 363:
(If anything, the fact that they ha
Page 364 and 365:
plans for your future organicmushro
Page 366 and 367:
princely, thus attracting ideas and
Page 368 and 369:
dresses like a gentleman, every one
Page 370 and 371:
creativity, and I make an effort to
Page 372 and 373:
because the work never came out ont
Page 374 and 375:
yourself from participation because
Page 376 and 377:
even worse, it often stops peoplefr
Page 378 and 379:
believe, hold themselves to an even
Page 380 and 381:
good enough for the task, somehowgr
Page 382 and 383:
Beethoven’s symphonies a little b
Page 384 and 385:
do? How am I getting in my ownway?
Page 386 and 387:
remain sane. Possessing a creativem
Page 388 and 389:
we forget to eat, forget to pee,for
Page 390 and 391:
forth will destroy you.”—Gospel
Page 392 and 393:
She said: “We all spend ourtwenti
Page 394 and 395:
everyone is too busy fussing overth
Page 396 and 397:
it! I just promised the universe th
Page 398 and 399:
it came to everything from washingt
Page 400 and 401:
In Praise ofCrooked HousesIcould si
Page 402 and 403:
her—that I did not get this chara
Page 404 and 405:
house and completely starting overb
Page 406 and 407:
Rivers did not run backward. Birdsd
Page 408 and 409:
perfect thing, but I still felt it
Page 410 and 411:
always believed in magicalthinking,
Page 412 and 413:
lives, and then gives a Mercedes to
Page 414 and 415:
nothing in realms of creativity.(No
Page 416 and 417:
that I have always discouragedpeopl
Page 418 and 419:
may be the only sanity-preservingwa
Page 420 and 421:
will stubbornly keep trying to make
Page 422 and 423:
purchased a tape recording of somee
Page 424 and 425:
Jones tape, just to see what wouldh
Page 426 and 427:
ready for war. It was as if we’db
Page 428 and 429:
catch hold of that sensation(“cal
Page 430 and 431:
boilerplate rejection letter with a
Page 432 and 433:
its self-addressed stampedenvelope
Page 434 and 435:
wait to publish it.“You even like
Page 436 and 437:
be “This is unequivocal evidencet
Page 438 and 439:
after a certain point—even theani
Page 440 and 441:
little different every day, just as
Page 442 and 443:
So you must keep trying. Youmust ke
Page 444 and 445:
same themes. The only difference is
Page 446 and 447:
is short and should be enjoyed. You
Page 448:
Trust
Page 451 and 452:
The first question is: “Do youlov
Page 453 and 454:
people have lost that sense ofconve
Page 455 and 456:
So Robin always begins rightthere.
Page 457 and 458:
of them report that writing is tota
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Addicted toSufferingAre you beginni
Page 461 and 462:
do it. Rufus Wainwright onceadmitte
Page 463 and 464:
A Cautionary TaleOne of the most in
Page 465 and 466:
process wasn’t bringing heranguis
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The Teaching ofPainSadly, Katie’s
Page 469 and 470:
Maybe you were even taughtdarkness
Page 471 and 472:
songwriter who battled heroinaddict
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—until he gave up the booze. As h
Page 475 and 476:
refuse to seek personal healing and
Page 477 and 478:
madness with genius feels like alog
Page 479 and 480:
person. I’m with the Britishpsych
Page 481 and 482:
write fiction when I am unhappy. (I
Page 483 and 484:
Choose What toTrustIf you choose to
Page 485 and 486:
would’ve said no.But why wouldn
Page 487 and 488:
work—and I cannot imagine thiswas
Page 489 and 490:
never know, and that creativity wil
Page 491 and 492:
gladness when I was not riding high
Page 493 and 494:
chills that run up my arms, through
Page 495 and 496:
given to you for the mere purpose o
Page 497 and 498:
be.”What’s the difference betwe
Page 499 and 500:
Martyr says: “The world cannever
Page 501 and 502:
ever since. I believe this turn ofe
Page 503 and 504:
back really crooked, or it might be
Page 505 and 506:
Brené writes wonderful books, butt
Page 507 and 508:
But when she tuned in to thepossibi
Page 509 and 510:
waited patiently in the living room
Page 511 and 512:
her new trick worked like a charm.N
Page 513 and 514:
Wyoming, and it was inspired bymy o
Page 515 and 516:
the new, slimmer November issue,or
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ever written, and, as far as I knew
Page 519 and 520:
challenge: Could I still manage tom
Page 521 and 522:
that expanded imagination does totr
Page 523 and 524:
well need to do. You also won’t b
Page 525 and 526:
short stories and feature articles
Page 527 and 528:
just a thing—a thing that I had m
Page 529 and 530:
passion. I don’t believe in telli
Page 531 and 532:
person myself, but not every single
Page 533 and 534:
at times—a distant tower of flame
Page 535 and 536:
clue. Trust it. See where curiosity
Page 537 and 538:
curiosity can lead you.I’ve alrea
Page 539 and 540:
like.I poked about for a while in m
Page 541 and 542:
learn anything about gardening,desp
Page 543 and 544:
back when I was a kid, despite myve
Page 545 and 546:
That was kind of cool todiscover.Th
Page 547 and 548:
completely in my fascination. Ielec
Page 549 and 550:
covered caves of French Polynesia.T
Page 551 and 552:
make no mistake about it—it’s s
Page 553 and 554:
but also once wrote an entire album
Page 555 and 556:
that the biggest problem she seeswi
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Hungry GhostsYou will fail.It sucks
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two.) Just as you need your fear fo
Page 561 and 562:
be satisfied with anything. I have
Page 563 and 564:
has been wounded—never my soul.It
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Do SomethingElseSo how do you shake
Page 567 and 568:
abrupt, but, holy cow—talk aboute
Page 569 and 570:
struggling with a book, I signed up
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“Hey, I never claimed it was myga
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eventually inspiration will find it
Page 575 and 576:
bicycles look a bit nicer. Dutifull
Page 577 and 578:
followed the clue. When he wasdone,
Page 579 and 580:
By doing something else—andby doi
Page 581 and 582:
Well, what could I tell her? Ihate
Page 583 and 584:
differently. I think the fiercestqu
Page 585 and 586:
Walk ProudlyTwenty years ago, I was
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of charming young people, whoturned
Page 589 and 590:
—his new friends had not misledhi
Page 591 and 592:
costume, and he was proud of it. He
Page 593 and 594:
ended up dancing that night with th
Page 595 and 596:
foam claws waving in the empty air.
Page 598 and 599:
Accidental GraceMy final story come
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off their art, and they welcomedtou
Page 602 and 603:
and everyone was happy.Actually, no
Page 604 and 605:
(Were these nice-seeming andfriendl
Page 606 and 607:
some money for the temples. Best of
Page 608 and 609:
everyone could see it. It wasarguab
Page 610 and 611:
mind the entire time.
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serious with us.Make space for all
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Geoffrey Kloske, Cree LeFavour,Cath
Page 616:
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