I Have To Speak: Voices of Female Ex-Combatants from Aceh, Burundi, Mindanao and Nepal

LILA | NEPAL
I witnessed my friends dying, in
the midst of battle, with bullets
flying all around us. I have had
many traumatic experiences where
there was blood every-where.
ANNICK | BURUNDI
There was no good time in the
forest for me. You cannot sleep
when you want. You cannot eat
when you want. There was nothing
good about it.
Hermie
GITA | NEPAL
We were unsuccessful twice in
battle. We lost many friends and
commanders. I see them in my
dreams sometimes. I also dream
about the war, about winning
battles and so on.
TRIPANI | NEPAL
Fighting war is always exciting.
However, the incident that still
affects me happened in Rukum,
Khalanga.
At that time, I was in the attack
force, but our plan did not work.
Many of my friends were injured,
martyred, and the situation was
out of control. There was a pool of
blood and many of them were lying
on the ground. I felt I was about to
lose control. My friends were dying
and we were losing the battle. We
brought everyone back but I always
felt that the losses we had were far
greater than our gains there. The
Khalanga Barracks attack was the
most painful experience of my life.
FRANCINE | BURUNDI
When things got really hot, there
was no way to heal people. We had
no choice but to leave them lying
on the ground where they fell. We
had no medicines for our patients,
unless they were stolen from hospitals.
We coped by using wood as
splints for broken legs, for temporary
relief. Yes, your close friends
could die in front of you while you
were helping them to breathe their
last breath. You also had to try to
defend yourself or find somewhere
to hide. Then after the battle, you
would try and gather everyone in
one place to provide treatment
for them. But most importantly, if
someone died in battle, you had to
take their gun and if possible their
uniform. If someone died when we
had already crossed a river or were
far away, we didn’t come back to
bury them.