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decide to mingle your fate with theirs, you disappear, too. You
couldn’t know that part, I realize that. But can you understand
why that might make me a little … anxious? Alice saw you
disappear, and she couldn’t even tell if you’d come home or
not. Your future got lost, just like theirs.
“We’re not sure why this is. Some natural defense they’re born
with?” He spoke as if he were talking to himself now, still
looking at the piece of my truck’s engine as he twirled it in his
hands. “That doesn’t seem entirely likely, since I haven’t had
any trouble reading their thoughts. The Blacks’ at least.
Carlisle theorizes that it’s because their lives are so ruled by
their transformations. It’s more an involuntary reaction than a
decision. Utterly unpredictable, and it changes everything
about them. In that instant when they shift from one form to
the other, they don’t really even exist. The future can’t hold
them… .”
I listened to his musing in stony silence.
“I’ll put your car back together in time for school, in case
you’d like to drive yourself,” he assured me after a minute.
With my lips mashed together, I retrieved my keys and stiffly
climbed out of the truck. “Shut your window if you want me to
stay away tonight. I’ll understand,” he whispered just before I
slammed the door.
I stomped into the house, slamming that door, too.
“What’s wrong?” Charlie demanded from the couch.
“Truck won’t start,” I growled.
“Want me to look at it?”
“No. I’ll try it in the morning.”
“Want to use my car?”
I wasn’t supposed to drive his police cruiser. Charlie must be
really desperate to get me to La Push. Nearly as desperate as I
was.
“No. I’m tired,” I grumbled. “‘Night.”
I stamped my way up the stairs, and went straight to my
window. I shoved the metal frame roughly - it crashed shut
and the glass trembled.