SIGNS OF TENDERNESS
signs of tenderness is an exploration into the formation of chosen family within the queer community, and the unique manifestation of relationships amongst those who identify as such. this project, manifested in a mixed-media photobook consisting of short interviews and photographs of the subjects, documents eight individuals within their chosen families as they exist currently, and how these relationships have evolved over the course of these individuals’ lives. all of our languages of love translate differently, but i can now recognize my own as a need for a sense of comfort, or familiarity, or home, in strange and new places. we create homes of our own where we seek comfort from things familiar. no matter the distance, physical or otherwise, we always find each other. albert camus said ‘never stop waiting for signs of tenderness’, and i never have. buy the print version here: https://www.francescatirpak.com/signs-of-tenderness
signs of tenderness is an exploration into the formation of chosen family within the queer community, and the unique manifestation of relationships amongst those who identify as such.
this project, manifested in a mixed-media photobook consisting of short interviews and photographs of the subjects, documents eight individuals within their chosen families as they exist currently, and how these relationships have evolved over the course of these individuals’ lives.
all of our languages of love translate differently, but i can now recognize my own as a need for a sense of comfort, or familiarity, or home, in strange and new places. we create homes of our own where we seek comfort from things familiar. no matter the distance, physical or otherwise, we always find each other.
albert camus said ‘never stop waiting for signs of tenderness’, and i never have.
buy the print version here: https://www.francescatirpak.com/signs-of-tenderness
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abbey
I hold people that I’m friends with to a different standard than my family, like my chosen family
and then my actual family. I think, for me, it’s more of a feeling. It’ll get to a point in the friendship
where I just feel so completely comfortable with people. I’ll feel like they’re there for whatever,
and I’m there for them for whatever. I think it’s a feeling, but it’s also the changes. I’ve definitely
gone through a lot of changes in the past few years, and the people who have stuck by me with
that I would consider my family.
I’ve gotten close to people that maybe I shouldn’t have been close with, and I think now that I
know myself better than I did before, I feel more comfortable to open myself up to these intense
friendships and relationships. I think it’s a lot to do with how open you are to accepting help in a
friendship.
It’s especially important to people who maybe aren’t in contact with their blood family, or maybe
never ever felt that close to them. I think that idea and the ability that people have to create their
own circle, their own family who will love each other unconditionally, is an amazing thing, if you
can do it, and if you find the people.
Even my girlfriend Michelle’s family; her mum helped me get into uni. Her mum did stuff that my
mum should’ve really been doing, and just that feeling of welcomeness and warmth that I struggle
to find within my family unit.
I’m closest to my littler sister Lucy. I think it’s just because we’re similar in age and we have a lot of
the same interests and we’re both gay. I just think we, maybe not understand each other, but we
can accept each other for who we are, even all the bad stuff. We’ve been through a lot together,
and we’ve always supported each other. It’s just the way it
happened. I’m quite close with my older sister, but she doesn’t live with us anymore.
Us three sisters going through something with the divorce and stuff, it brought us close together.
We all helped each other because no one else was, you know?
In general, I tend to gravitate towards queer people, even before they know they’re queer, and
then they come to me. In general, a lot of my interests are queer, so I just find myself bonding with
those people more than with people who aren’t into the same kind of thing as me. I think it’s a
shared experience as well that you can only really have with other queer people, which I didn’t
really realize is important to me. I think it is important to me, though, just thinking back to all my
friendships and people that I’m close with.
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