OSA magazine Issue 90

T h e O l d S t a t i o n e r - N o 9 0
I quit BSI and set up my own consultancy in 1998. The
timing was perfect as many developing countries and excommunist
countries in Eastern Europe had great difficulty in
seemingly understanding and implementing the TBT
agreement. Sadly, I discovered that many countries signed up
to the agreement for political reasons despite not having the
understanding or competence to comply.
Thus began my twelve years consultancy, visiting over thirty
developing countries and several Eastern European countries.
My main clients were the UK Government, the UN and the
European Commission. I perhaps can relate some of the most
interesting events in my travels during this time.
Japan – The Earthquake
My first visit to Japan in the 1980s involved a conference,
lasting some seven days. On the second night of the conference
I was awoken at 4.00am, to see the curtains and the central
light swinging towards me. In my stupor I had no idea initially
what was happening. I then realised that the curtains and lamp
were actually static and that the building was in fact moving! It
was shaking due to an earthquake and I was on the fourteenth
floor of a sixteen-storey hotel. Strangely enough I was not
petrified and after a few seconds the curtains and lamp returned
to their rightful position. I was quite excited, got dressed and
went down (by lift – probably foolish) and approached the 'Bell
Captain', dressed in a US-style uniform with scrambled egg on
his shoulders and cap, and asked him about the earthquake. He
informed me that the epicentre had been some 70 km away but
was estimated at nearly 7, whereas in Tokyo it was just over 4.
He also advised that the hotel had 'rubber' foundations and the
top floor could withstand movement of up to three metres. I
went to have an early breakfast and experienced a small
aftershock some two hours later.
Kathmandu
– The General Strike and Riot
The countries of South Asia have been trying to set up a Free
Trade area, They have established an organisation called
SAARC (The South Asia Association for Regional
Co-operation). There are eight countries involved, including
India, Afghanistan and Pakistan (I visited most of them but
not Afghanistan!). The Secretariat is based in Kathmandu.
This is a very interesting place and the people are normally
friendly and gentle – but they do have a potential hard side
– witness the Gurkhas. I visited Kathmandu many times on a
project for UNIDO (The United Nations Industrial
Development Organisation, based in Vienna). One such trip
coincided with a turbulent period in Nepal. The uncle of the
King had killed his nephew, who was King and several other
members of the royal family. He had installed his son as King,
who had promptly dissolved parliament – sound a bit familiar?
- and started to rule by decree. The local head of the UN in
Kathmandu was terrified of this development as the new King
had tried to involve him to bolster his credibility. The result
was that this charming man had sent all his three children
abroad for their education – to the USA and UK – probably
never to return.
Shortly after, and coinciding with one of my visits, the
political parties declared a general strike, which degenerated
into a mini riot.
On the first day of this strike all taxis and public transport
went on strike. I was due to visit two ministries that day and
so was at a loss as to how to get there. The 'Bell Captain' tried
to get me a 'Tuk Tuk' but all were on strike as well. Finally he
managed to get me a bicycle rickshaw. This duly arrived at the
hotel and we set off to cover the two or so miles to the first
ministry. About halfway there we turned a corner to be faced
with a burning barricade of tyres manned by angry young
men. They took the driver to task for breaking the general
strike and surrounded me shouting and gesticulating.
Fortunately I had a UN Pass on me and by showing this to
them they grudgingly let me go. I had to walk for the rest of
the day! I feared for the rickshaw driver.
Riyadh and The Scottish Wool
Growers' Association
I visited Saudi Arabia some seven times over around eight
years. It is not a place I recall with fond memories. The Arab
Gulf states are attempting to create a common market and
have established two organisations. The Gulf Co-operation
Council (GCC) and The Gulf Standards and Metrology
Organisation. Most of the Arab Gulf States are friendly and
respectful to visitors – especially Kuwait, Oman and Bahrain.
The Emirates remind me of Hong Kong in the 1970s –
rampant capitalism. Qatar is run by crazy but rich people,
whilst the Saudis are contemptuous and arrogant.
Surprisingly, I had three different briefs for my various trips
to KSA. One for the EU, one for UNIDO and one for DfID
(Department for Internal Development). Prior to departing to
KSA for the latter, I was instructed to pay a courtesy visit to
the Commercial Attache at the British Embassy. This I did
although the visit was effectively social. We chatted about the
problems of dealing with the Saudis and he advised me that a
posting to KSA was considered to be a hardship posting
attracting a supplementary salary and was equivalent to a
posting to Moscow during the Cold War! As we were about
to part he asked whether I would like to attend a presentation
by the 'Scottish Wool Growers' Association'. I obviously
looked perplexed – 'Harris Tweed to you' he said. I laughed
– Harris Tweed to the Arabs! He grinned at me, 'It's here at
the Embassy on Friday afternoon' (the week-end in Muslim
countries). I thought about this for a few seconds and then it
clicked. 'This is Crown territory isn't it'? 'Yes', he replied with
a huge grin. 'So you can serve alcohol at the reception' I
replied. His grin became a guffaw. I attended!
Nice – The Hotel Fire
I was invited to attend a four-day conference at the Hotel
Negressco on the Promenade des Anglais in Nice.
I arrived from the airport in the early evening and went to my
room on the 4th floor, via the lift, and decided to have a
shower and then put on some appropriate clothes for a
planned pre-conference dinner. I turned on the shower to
warm it up, stripped off and went towards the shower. En
route I noticed that there was what I took to be steam around
the recessed lights in the ceiling. I entered the shower cubicle
to find the water was still cold! Surprised I tried to check
where this 'steam' was coming from and concluded it must be
smoke. I peeped out of the door into the corridor to see, to my
horror, that it was filling with smoke. There was no fire alarm
and no fire instructions on the door (illegal in most countries
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