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n e t w o r k I n g c l u b
WOMEN: CAUgHT IN
THE WORk-LIfE BALANCE TRAP
by Katalin Halom
The concept of work-life balance is a
scam. This buzzword du jour—readily
snapped up by consultants, employers,
coaches, physicians, gurus of all
stripes, and all sorts of real and fake
experts—suggests that you can do it
all if only you want to. You can be a
nurturing mother, a perfect house-
wife, a great lover to your partner
and go out there and pursue a career
of your own choice. In addition, in
the time left, you should use every
educational platform to expand your
knowledge and capabilities.
Did I also mention fitting in exercise so
you can stay healthy and able to juggle
all that you’re supposed to do? And let’s
not forget to be desirable to your…
what’s his name? (Doing too much is
detrimental to your brain too, so it’s
not unusual to temporarily forget the
names of your loved ones.)
To keep your sanity, de-stressing
shouldn’t come short either, because no
one likes a stressed-out mother, wife,
lover, employee, teacher, etc. (Did you
notice how this reasoning leaves your
interests out of the equation?)
There are several reactions to this
moral blackmail: Either you smile
wryly and get on with whatever work
is most pressing at the moment, or you
go head over heels in an attempt to do
all and be all. The worst reaction of all,
however, is laying to rest your dream of
a self-defined (career) goal.
No matter which way you succumb to
the myth of work-life balance, you’ll
always be left with a feeling of resignation.
So what can you do?
Katalin Halom
To get a handle on your life, choose
the RADICAL approach; it is not only
viable, but it also leaves you enough
leeway to adjust it to your reality. Follow
the steps below to keep your sanity
by introducing a realistic semblance of
balance into your life. First,
1 Realize that you can have
both simultaneously—the career
and the family—but not with
the same intensity. Something has to
give. Some days you just have to devote
your attention more to your career
and less to your family. Other times,
your family will occupy all your mental
and possibly physical capacities. Don’t
agonize about the rightfulness of this
approach; it is absolutely ethical, moral,
legitimate, and realistic.
2 Accept that you cannot do
it all. Again, something must
be left to another day—or to
another person; the latter being the best
solution. You have to fight perfectionism
whenever it raises its ugly had.
This is non-negotiable; otherwise, you
will never be able to do anything well.
Let’s face it, there are certain tasks that
others can perform better and quicker
than you. Let them do so.
3 Decide what’s best for you;
your family and friends will
thank you for it. (Have you
been told time and again that
you are a nagging and gloomy
woman—“so much different from
the cheerful and sexy girl I married”?)
The quality of your decisions has a tremendous
effect on your life satisfaction
and with it on your mood. Honestly
admitting to yourself and precisely
formulating what you want most is,
therefore, not merely a possibility, but
an absolute necessity. It is also your
unalterable right. Throughout the
centuries, women have internalized so
many norms and rules imposed upon
them that to this day, even in democratic
societies, they automatically adjust
their thinking according to those obsolete
norms. To lead a good, satisfactory,
WOMEN‘S CAREER NETWORK www.wcnvienna.org NETWORK NEWS dECEMbER 2009 | 5