Filipino News 147

BUHAY
NZ
04 ISSUE 147 BALITANG NZ | www.filipinonews.nz | email: filipinonews@xtra.co.nz | www.pinoynzlife.nz | MOB: 027 495 8477
www.migrantnews.nz : New Zealand’s first MULTICULTURAL newspaper featuring immigration and settlement news since 1991.
There are many challenges
that an expat or migrant will
encounter in their time living
abroad. One of them is
homesickness. Anyone who
has travelled or lived abroad
for an extended period of
time will definitely experience
being homesick at one
point or another.
I’ve been living abroad for
more than a decade and let
me tell you, I’ve been homesick
many times over. But I
think that it happened to me
a lot more when we moved
to New Zealand. Living here
for three years already, there
are still many times that I
long for the comfort of being
back in the Philippines and
sometimes, back in Singapore,
where I lived for nine
years.
Being able to deal with
homesickness is crucial,
especially if you’re going to
stay in your adopted country
for a long time – or permanently.
If you do not handle
it well, I think that the whole
experience will not be a success
for you (and your family).
At worst, you’ll probably
end up going back home
and your efforts to get out of
your home country would go
to waste.
Anyone who has been living
abroad has their own
ways of coping with homesickness.
Here are a few of
the things that have worked
for me so far:
Understand your 'Why'
During our first year here
in New Zealand, I became a
stay-at-home mom taking
care of Katie.
We arrived at the start of
winter, which was probably
not the best season to move
to New Zealand. It got quite
depressing, staying indoors
for days. I was still getting
used to the climate and the
pace of life here and preferred
to be in the house all
the time. I spent many days
looking out of our window,
sometimes in tears, wondering
if we made the right
move.
In my mind I would compare
what we could have had
in Singapore had we stayed
there – a nanny for the girls,
work for me, warm climate,
closer to the Philippines -
versus what we have here –
no one to help with the baby
and housework, no work for
me, freezing temperatures
and expensive tickets back
to the Philippines. I think it’s
Six Ways to Deal with
HOMESICKNESS
BY AILEEN CUNANAN
valid and unavoidable to do
that kind of comparison.
Everyone will do that at
some point. BUT, it’s not
healthy to do so all the time.
If you do, then you’re setting
yourself up for failure.
Whenever this type of
thinking threatens to crowd
my mind, I always go back
to the reason WHY we
moved here in the first place.
It has always been for that
change of lifestyle that will
allow us to care for our family
in a healthy environment
and at the same time provide
the kids with the best opportunities
for a good life. Some
of these we would not have
been able to accomplish had
we stayed in Singapore.
So if you’re considering
living abroad, make sure you
have a good reason for doing
so, because that will always
give you the motivation
whenever you feel homesick.
Back when I was a newbie
in Singapore, I struggled to
adjust to the management
style and pace in my first
job. It was fast, unrelenting
and so very different from
what I knew in Manila.
One time we had to stay
overnight in the office to fix
an issue and our Singaporean
manager brought us all
a pack of Nasi Lemak for
breakfast. Not only was it a
kind gesture, but it was the
beginning of my love affair
with Singaporean food. I
love it so much that I devoted
a couple of posts to it
before I left four years ago.
Try Local Food
I think one of the best
ways to get to know a country
is by the food its people
eat. Of course you will find
comfort in the familiar foods
of your own country and
you’ll probably cook them at
home most of the time. But
it does help to go out there,
try out the local restaurants
and hopefully it takes your
mind off your homesickness.
I have been trying out the
foods here in New Zealand.
Build a network and make
it bigger
My move to Singapore
was quite easy as I had so
many friends already living
there when I arrived. The
longer I stayed, the more I
got to know more people and
do activities with them that
helped me keep homesickness
at bay.
Here in New Zealand, we
were lucky that although we
didn’t know a lot of people,
we were welcomed warmly
by fellow Filipinos whom
we now consider family. At
work, JP and I also have
people we talk to.
They have helped us a lot
– giving us second-hand furniture
and appliances when
we were starting out, giving
us tips where to buy things,
inviting us to gatherings to
meet even more people, or
simply visiting us at home to
check how we’re doing.
When I was taking care of
Katie and Patty I researched
playgroups and activities for
Being able to deal with homesickness is
crucial, especially if you’re going to stay in
your adopted country for a long time – or
permanently. If you do not handle it well, I
think that the whole experience will not be a
success for you (and your family).
At worst, you’ll probably end up going back
home and your efforts to get out of your
home country would go to waste.
children so they could
socialize with other kids and
I could have a chat with fellow
local moms. I also
joined some Facebook
groups for mothers in New
Zealand to get support for
my questions related to living
here.
The point is, you have to
put yourself out there and
get to know people, otherwise
it’s going to be a lonely
time for you abroad.
For me building a network
of friends is quite important,
because even the most introverted
individual needs
someone to keep homesickness
at bay and to get help
from if they need it.
Take advantage of technology
When we were kids my
father worked overseas. We
would always send him letters
and cards that took
weeks before he was able to
read them and then a few
more weeks before we got a
response. I remember longdistance
calls that we would
anticipate for weeks, sometimes
months and that probably
cost a lot. That’s the
way it was in the 80s and
what a long way we’ve come
now.
These days, everyone is
online. We have all these
tools to communicate easily
with our loved ones who are
far away. So we have to use
what’s available to us.
Call your family or friends
via Skype or Viber. Have a
chat via Messenger. Whatever
it is, you know that
there are so many channels
for communication when
you’re sad or missing home.
Movies and TV Shows
from almost any country are
also available online, so if
you miss watching these
local movies and shows then
go ahead and watch them!
Honestly, I still do this at
home; while cleaning the
house or ironing clothes I'll
play a Filipino movie on
Netflix, just to hear Tagalog.
As for social media, it can
either keep homesickness at
bay, or it could make it
worse. Sometimes it’s good
to sign off social media for a
bit. If you feel that your
homesickness is getting
worse by looking at your
feed, especially when it
shows people in your hometown
having fun and doing
things without you, then go
offline for a while. Instead of
following all the things that
are happening in your country,
why not focus on doing
things in your adopted country?
Which takes me to my
next tip …
Explore your new world
JP and I had not been to
New Zealand prior to our
move here. Looking back, I
think that this is one of the
craziest moves I’ve made.
All the research I did online
about New Zealand could
not have prepared me for
what I was about to experience.
In those times when I
was really down and wishing
I was somewhere else, I
would look up places to see
and things to do in
Wellington (and later, in
New Zealand).
I’d show this to JP and on
weekends we went out,
explored and learned a little
bit more about Wellington.
Later on, we would venture
farther to other cities. We
continue to do this and there
are so many more things to
see and do that we’ll be
planning quite a few trips for
many years.
So don’t be afraid to wander
and familiarize yourself
with your adopted country.
There will always be something
to discover and hopefully
you’ll feel a little less
homesick.
Keep up your Habits and
Hobbies or Try New Ones
Moving to a new country
doesn’t mean that you have
to change everything about
yourself. If you have a
hobby that you’ve been
doing for many years, you
can still do this when you
move. I think that continuing
on with a sport or hobby
helps bring balance and routine
back to your daily life.
For me my hobbies are
simple — cooking, writing,
running and travelling. I’ve
continued to do these in New
Zealand and I really think
that it has helped with
adjusting to life here. They
may not be as social as other
hobbies, but they do keep
my mind active and I feel
less homesick when I do
them.
On the other hand, you can
also try new hobbies or routines.
Try a new sport, learn
a new skill or language –
whatever it is that will keep
the loneliness at bay, or keep
your mind and body healthy.
Homesickness is a very
real issue, but it should not
hold you back from enjoying
life in your adopted country.
Everyone gets through it
at their own pace. It’s a normal
and understandable
reaction to moving abroad
and it’s definitely okay to
miss home once in a while.
I hope these tips will be
helpful to you whether
you’re thinking of moving or
are already in a new country.
Just remember to always
keep an open and positive
mindset – there are so many
opportunities to learn and
enjoy in your new home if
you make the effort to discover
them.