CCChat-Magazine_Issue-17

" One of the things we do in every case, "
says Dr Geffner, " is to create a timeline.
We go back to the beginning: what
happened over time with the family?
What happened with allegations? What
has happened with petitions to the court
and court filing? That tells you a lot."
" One of the things we find is that this
whole idea of Parental Alienation - when
it occurs from an accusation standpoint -
there was some allegation by the child to
somebody about some kind of
uncomfortable or abusive behaviour. Or
that one parent talked about abuse first
and then the allegation of Parental
Alienation surfaced. "
What we know about domestic abuse
is that it's very rare to have evidence
and it is often seen as 'he said/she
said'
" That's why it's called the family secret"
says Dr Geffner, " but there are witnesses
to that - if you ask the children. They are
growing up in this home. If you ask them
in the right way - what's their experience
in the home, what scares them, what
makes them uncomfortable? Ask neutral
questions and spend time with the
children - you often find that they start
reporting some of the corroboration which
often led to initial disclosures."
“ One of the things we find is that this whole idea of Parental Alienation - when it
occurs from an accusation standpoint - there was some allegation by the child to
somebody about some kind of uncomfortable or abusive behaviour."
" We don't see too many cases where, all
of a sudden, we have allegations of
Parental Alienation, where none of these
other things surfaced first. "
Dr Geffner talks about the importance of
timing : " In many of the cases we review
or work on, that label is used after there
has been some other type of allegation,
either in the divorce case or even before
divorce was filed, there were allegations
of domestic abuse or child abuse."
People assume that if it's a child custody
case, the allegations are false - at rates of
75% or more, when the research shows
it's not even close to that.
" How much is it costing you to deal with
the cases for five years? How much is it
costing society to deal with violence that
is escalating?Where do the kids end up?
What's going to happen down the road? "
Dr Geffner's final word:
" It goes back to the expression pay me
now or pay me later"
Link for the webinar:
youtu.be/Cq81BRQjMMI
Making The Invisible Visible