Legend_theKnight&JenderBlance

The Knight, Jen der Blance and the Hum
Drolog – the legend of Waat
As related to, and told by, the Ancient W D’viner
The hunkeydorey time
Not so long ago, in hunkydorey time, in the land of Waat, there lived a
Knight, with his partner Jen der Blance, who governed over the Waatish
people. For many years the Waatish had a hunkeydorey life – as Waat
had lots of waader, which made their little trees and shrubs green,
shiney and bountiful. The Knight was a kind man and he let the Waatish
peeple do whatever they wanted to do with the waader, because he did not like to
hear shouting and screaming going on in Waat. Nearby was the land of No’waat –
but the Waatish peeple never ever got to go there.
Dwill’o comes to Waat
Soon, hearing of the good fortune of Waat, an evil Dwill’o appeared in
Waat. At first the Dwill’o just wandered around looking at the waader
and the Waatish people, and the trees and the shiney shrubs. Soon he
found out that if waader went missing the Waatish people got restless
because the trees and the shrubs were lot less shiney and not so
bountiful.
When the Waatish people got restless they brawled with one another. Dwill’o found
out that he could stop them brawling by giving them a bahole – the bahole was a
little trick that he brought with him from his homeland, Aqkfar. In Aqkfar, Dwill’o’s
companions, Rodds and Bitts, could make a bahole and that made graun’waadur
appear in place of waader. Aqkfar had a secret gift called stowage – but no one
knew what it was, or heard much about it.
The evil Dwillo’ decided that from time to time he would grant some of the Waatish
people some groun’waadur, in return for hawking them a bahole. Slowly, in time,
Dwillo’ got rich from granting the baholes that he donated. So some Waatish people,
who had baholes, became even more hunkeydorey than others.
The less hunkeydorey times
As time went on those Waatish people with no baholes began feeling that less
hunkedorey times were coming, so they got together and complained to the Knight
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and Jen der Blance. At first the Knight did not want to hear about some of these
Waatish people and their complaints – and he said there was plenty of waader for
them – so stop complaining and wait. The Waatish people with little
waader waited and waited – but no waader came.
So they went back to the Knight and complained even more loudly. To
make them stop shouting so loudly, Jen der Blance advised the Knight
that he should get them graun’waadur, a thing that Jen der Blance had
heard about, from her cousin Collaborashun. So the Knight called his
scholarly Akademiko and demanded to know what he should do, to stop
the noisy Waatish from shouting so much.
Simpulashun to the rescue
Akademiko, who was in plain admiration and in awe of the Knight, and wanted to
remain on tenure, put on his thinking hat and sat in the corner of his rondawal. He
spent a long time in mental contemplation, when thankfully some simpulashun came
to the rescue, with an idea.
Akademinko went back to the
Knight and told him that the best
way to find the missing waader
was to ask the Hum Drolog, who
lived in a subterranean den, to do
his magic tricks with numbers and
gogifizz, to decipher where
waadur’s replacement,
groun’waadur could be.
The Knight called for Hum Drolog, to ask him if he could get the replacement for
waader for the Waatish people.
Magic tricks, bumpy test and gogifizz
The Hum Drolog, who very clever through lots of magic tricks that he did on his slab
in the subterranean den, said to the Knight that he could find the answer, “no
problem”. But first he had to get his numbers and gogifizz to light up on the wall.
With Akademiko’s encouragement, the Knight agreed and waited in patience for the
light.
After a lot of tricks, the Hum Drolog was ready to give a detailed reply to the Knights
command for supplanting waadur with the wonderful groun’waadur.
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“So”, asked the Knight, when finally the Hum Drolog appeared before his throne,
“can you explain what you have done, so that we get waader for the Waatish
people?”
Waadur to groun’waadur
“First”, the Hum Drolog said, “you have to find a sandwich of many layers. After that
you have to find the tiny cracks and crevices in the sandwich. Then you have to
make bumpy test and add some gogifizz. After that, you need to count all the
numbers and put them in a big basket. Once you have done that, then you must
shake the crooked numbers, till they came out in a straight line. Then you have to
take all of this finding and put it into Akademiko’s simpulashun ravine and let the
system go”.
“And then?”, the Knight asked.
“Then?” the Hum Drolog said, “then, you
will have the answer, easy!!”
“So, whats the answer?”, both the Knight
and Jen der Blance asked in one voice.
“Well”, said the Hum Drolog “on the one
hand… there could be graun’waadur that
might outflow, but then on the other
hand, it may inflow”.
“Then, which hand is it”, asked the Knight
“outflow hand or inflow hand?” He
wanted the answer on the one hand, not on two.
“Well” replied the Hum Drolog, “It really depends on how you want your hand –
inflow’able or outflow’able…. but in any case” he explained, “I just need to go back
and get a few more facts and statistics…. also, I must refer to my good friend
Shallowfo’mashun, before I can answer such an important question”.
The Knight was thoroughly exasperated – but having little choice
said, okay go and see her, but get back to me before the onset of
the decline.
“I have seen the light…”
When he came back after referring to Shallowfo’mashun, to see the
Knight, the Hum Drolog was very excited and said that he had seen
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the light – and now he had an almost definite answer.
“So what is it”, asked the Knight, dreading at what he would hear, with Jen der
Blance holding her breath waiting for the reply.
The Hum Drolog’s definite reply was, “on the one hand, if Shallofo’mashun was
saturated, maybe groun’waadur would inflow, on the other hand, if she was partially
unsaturated, it was likely that it would outflow” but because the precautionary code,
he was not so sure if he could show which hand was which, for just now.
The shouting of the Waatish people was increasing and getting louder, the Knight’s
head was aching – and he grasped his forehead in a grimace, wondering which of
the Hum Drolog’s hands to chop off, so that he could get the answer on one hand.
Dwillo’ sees his chance
The evil Dwillo’ saw his chance and ran to the Knight and his oartner and said –
“look, let me solve your problems. Let me do it, don’t chop off the Hum Drolog’s
hand”.
Jen der Blance urged the Knight to hear Dwillo’ out. Fine said the Knight, asking
Dwillo’ – “what will you do for my Waatish people”, who were starting to make the
land of Waat into the land of No’waat, which was bad thing, as no one knew how
bad No’waat was.
Dwillo’ said to the Knight, “ok, let me do 50 baholes, and that will get your Waatish
people as much groun’waadur as they could dream of – but, there is a condition..”
“What’s that?”, asked the Kinght
“You have to consign the Hum Drolog into the ivory tower, and put Akademiko’s
simpulashun in with them, and as for Shallowfo’mashun, keep her in the unconfined
condition of neither saturated nor unsaturated”
“Done”, said the Knight with great relief, that no hands would be involved.
Immediately Drillo’ went to Aqkfar got his companions, Rodds and Bitts to
accompany him back to Waat – on arrival they made friends with Deepfo’mashun,
who had been hiding all this time in Akqfar’s stowage. All Rodds and Bitts had to do
was twist round and round, and case the joint, immediately letting the aarti’san
groun’waadur rise up, into the trees and shrubs of the Waatish Peeple. The Waatish
Peeple were delighted and cheered and cheered for the deep insight of Jen der
Blance.
And they all lived happily ever after – or at least till Deepfo’mashun became subaarti’san
because the secret of stowage was revealed – but that is another story …
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stay tuned for the next episode of the goings on in in the land of Waat
and No’waat.
The moral of the story is
‘On the one hand and on the other hand’ lands the Hum Drolog’s in an ivory tower
where he does the tricks with crooked numbers till today, with Shallow’fomashun
confined to keep him company.
The evil Dwillo’ and Rodds and Bitts get rich quick with Deepfo’mashun as aarti’san
groun’waadur, but the Waatish only want waader even if it is a declining
graun’waader.
In Next episode
Dwillo’ with Rodd and Bitts
skip town when stowage
of the Deepfo’mashun is
revealed. Is it too late for
the Knight and Jen der
Blance?? Can they
undergo adaptation to the
klamat?
Find out, next time, with
fluctuating water tables.
The fluctuating water tables
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