Filipino News 167

BUHAY
NZ
06 ISSUE 167 MAGANDA | www.filipinonews.nz | email: filipinonews@xtra.co.nz | www.pinoynzlife.nz | MOB: 027 495 8477
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Openly pointing out somebody’s
flaws is generally
considered rude – so why do
supposedly polite Filipinos
do it?
In a previous issue of
Filipino News I observed
that New Zealand’s appreciation
of beauty, compared to
the Philippines, was a kind
of liberation for Filipinas
living here. We heard from
several women who felt far
more comfortable in their
own skins in NZ than in their
home country.
Much of the problem
came from the blunt criticisms
they faced back home:
told they’re too fat, too
brown, too balbon, are
pango, have dark ‘kilikili’ or
other skin blemishes; nothing
is off-limits to a sharpeyed
friend or relative.
Even framed in the typically
Filipino context of
humour, the all-too-common
'joke lang', most see it, by
Western standards, as nothing
less than body-shaming:
inappropriate and rude.
So where does such a trait
come from? And why?
Filipinos are known for their
sensitivity – for not wanting
to stir up trouble or upset
others. Tact is a cultural trait.
So why this willingness to
point out people’s so-called
flaws?
I talked to a number of
Filipinos about this.
Everybody agreed that it
was universal, although
some attributed it more to
older generations or to less
sophisticated, less urbane
individuals.
One woman I talked
to, Mia, 26, considered
such bluntness to come
from popular culture:
the lowbrow humour
of daytime TV, where
ridicule and mockery
for the masses’
amusement is a staple
of big name hosts.
Perhaps such humour has a
trickle-down effect into
common culture and behaviour?
Another, Josephine, 40,
gave it a more sinister spin,
the o infamous Filipino ‘crab
mentality'. This malevolent
Culture Clash
By REW SHEARER
Openly pointing out
somebody’s flaws is
generally considered
rude – so why do
supposedly polite
Filipinos do it?
Much of the problem
comes from the blunt
criticisms Filipinas faced
back home: told they’re
too fat, too brown, too
balbon, are pango, have
dark kilikili or other
skin blemishes; nothing
is off-limits to a sharpeyed
friend or relative.
Editor: We welcome your
feedback on this topic.
facet of
Filipino nature is a willingness
to exploit others or
put them down, particularly
compatriots, for personal
gain. It is the antithesis of
the kababayan culture,
where Filipinos traditionally
work together for the benefit
of all and it can
be a
truly cruel trait. Viewed
from this perspective, personal
comments are a way of
cutting a person down to size
and undermining their self
confidence; motivated perhaps
by jealousy or a social
mindset not unlike New
Zealand’s ‘tall poppy syndrome'.
But maybe not.
It’s worth understanding
that the habit of making
blunt personal observations
is not limited to Filipinos. It
is, apparently without exception,
an Asia-wide phenomenon.
Japan, notoriously
Korea, China, Indonesia,
Malaysia, Thailand; all share
this tendency. To varying
degrees, all regard slenderness
and fairness and flawlessness
to be the epitomes
of beauty and relatives,
friends or even colleagues
will be quick to make less
than subtle criticisms of
those
who
don’t
meet
those
s t a n -
dards. And
it seems
that in all
cases such
comments are received with
an equal measure of annoyance.
Mia agrees, recalling blunt
comments about her
physique from a non-
Filipino colleague that had
none of the smiles or ‘just
kidding’ softeners.
If such remarks are indeed
a deeply engrained and universal
trait of Asian culture –
and even other cultures
around the world – how
would the Filipino, normally
so considerate and diplomatic,
deliver them?
Probably exactly as they
do. With a smile, a laugh, a
tongue-in-cheek reluctance
or a retractive “just kidding”.
At the point of tension
between a deeply-ingrained
Asian tendency and their
own sense of empathy, the
Filipino uses characteristic
smiles and humour, chagrin
and delicacy as much as possible.
Preferable, perhaps, to
keep their mouths shut. But
maybe, softened by that
characteristic Pinoy shyness,
it’s not such an affront after
all. Maybe it’s just a sign of
changing times, a culture in
the process of evolving, a
clash of old and new.
Then again,
some traditions
are best left
behind.
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