Nashville considers sexual orientation ordinance - Out & About ...

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18 • OUT & ABOUT NASHVILLE • JANUARY, 2003 O&AN NEWS Regine Phillips sets sights on Chicago May maintain small presence at Nashville Nightlife by Mike Robinson O&AN Photo Editor One of Nashville’s premier nightclub entertainers, Regine Phillips, is leaving Nashville for the Windy City. The female impersonator known in her shows at the Connection and Nashville Nightlife as "The Oriental Goddess," is packing her bags and moving to Chicago in mid-January to begin performing at the Baton. Her flamboyant stage costumes, or lack thereof, and her commanding presence on stage, have catapulted her into the spotlight as one of the most popular entertainers in the Middle Tennessee gay community. Her career started in the early 90’s, when bolstered on a dare by some of her friends, she took advantage of a talent night at a place called The Fantasy Club in Pensacola, Florida. After her initial debut, she was hooked. " I didn’t have anyone to help me," said Regine. "I started asking the girls in the cast at the club for help and they just ignored me. So I did it myself. I didn’t even know how to put makeup on. But I remember the first song I ever lip-synced, it was Escapade, by Janet Jackson, and Paula Abdul’s Cold Hearted, that’s how Regine Phillips was born!" Crafting a style all her own, she entered her first pageant called Miss Five Flags, and came in last place. But, one of the judges saw a Individual &Couple Counseling Leslie Ratliff, L.C.S.W. 615-321-2000 1719 West End Avenue, Suite 614 East Nashville, TN 37203 Regine Phillips reflecting on her career at the Connection. raw talent in the making, and asked her to work in his new club. She worked there and honed her skills, stepping up >> ROOMMATE WANTED
Choosing a Good Psychotherapist by Barbara Sanders O&AN Contributor Why might it be difficult to find a good therapist for yourself? It can be much like asking how to find a suitable partner. Unfortunately, sometimes it is hit or miss, trial and error. After all, you are choosing a very special person to help you with an intense exploration of and understanding about your life. No wonder it is no small task. Choosing a therapist (or a partner) does not follow a specific recipe. If there were such a blueprint, we would all run out and buy such a wondrous plan. But, life is not like that. At least with a therapist, there are credentialing, licensing and screening organizations to weed out some of the bad from the good. But not all therapists fall into one of the categories that get licensed. Most everyone has heard of someone who has had a bad therapeutic experience. I once had a difficult experience with a therapist and you would think that a therapist, like myself, would be able to select a therapist wisely! Unfortunately, therapists are also human and there is never a guarantee as to who is the best type of therapist to help any specific person. Although there is no scientific matchmaking service available, there are some sensible methods that can guide you in your search. 1. Ask around. Ask friends, family, trusted people whom they might suggest for you. Realize, however, that a therapist who has so expertly helped your best friend may or may not be a good match for you. Some people work best with talkers, directive therapists who guide and instruct - much like a teacher or mentor would. Others might prefer a less directive therapist who does not talk so much but who is able to consolidate a wide range of information and provide extremely valuable insights and suggestions. Most importantly, find a therapist who has good "boundaries" and who believes that confidentiality is sacred. Only then can you feel safe enough to explore unconscious terrain. 2. Interview therapists. By phone or in person. Some therapists are happy to answer questions about themselves and some are not. There is no right or wrong way for a therapist to behave in this regard, but you can get a feel for the therapist by talking with them before deciding to set aside time, funds and energy to work with this specific person. Meeting with a therapist is important because there are so many variables that influence us (whether we are conscious of them or not). It might be informative to just sit with a potential therapist, talk, listen, and notice how you feel while you are with that person, or afterward when you think about the session and the therapist. 3. If it seems important to you, ask the potential therapist about his or her values, therapeutic framework, and/or spirituality. You want to pick someone who seems open to and nonjudgmental about your Barbara Sanders, LCSW beliefs. Go ahead and shop around before you decide. The tone of voice, types of mannerisms, the age of the therapist, or even the body type sometimes influence how you will work with a therapist. Therapy is not always enjoyable and it is helpful to believe that when you get into some dark places, you have an advocate and a support who is traveling with you on this journey, not someone from whom you need to run. 4. Couples therapy. When looking for a couples therapist, each person needs to agree on the therapist. After meeting with the therapist, talk with each other about your experience. Usually one person is more interested in therapy than the other, so make sure that the more reluctant partner feels a connection with the therapist 5. Male, female, gay, bi or straight. Some people believe that you have to share certain characteristics with your therapist in order to fully believe he or she can understand you and your issues. This may be true for people grappling with issues like addictions, sexuality conflicts, sexual abuse, and other life problems. However, you may want to also look at other factors OUT & ABOUT NASHVILLE • JANUARY, 2003 • 19 O&AN LIVING that can influence the therapist's ability to help you. Factors like type of training or educational background of the therapist, years of experience, the geographical setting of the office, and the fee may also be important. If you are part of the LBGT community, realize that some therapists can be homophobic (without knowing that they are). As scary and outdated as it seems, some therapists still try to guide people toward a heterosexual lifestyle, even if this is not the client's goal. Once in therapy, if you feel like a therapist is not being sensitive to your needs and your goals, or if you feel like he or she has some hidden agenda, stop the process and talk about your concerns. The therapist's reaction to these concerns can point toward his or her ability to deal with conflict which will always occur in a good therapeutic relationship. If you are not satisfied with the reaction, you can terminate the relationship, ask for a referral, or seek advice from others about how to handle the situation. All in all, selecting a good therapist is very important to your health and well being. Treat the process of finding an excellent therapist with respect and care, and chances are you will find a therapist who can help you develop a happier and more satisfying life. Barbara Sanders, LCSW, is a psychotherapist in private practice in Nashville. Feel free to call on her if you have any questions or concerns: (615)327-0756. � Free Subscription and Changing Spaces Contest Entry Form Mailed to your home in a nondescript envelope. Sign up today for a one-year free subscription. Please mail this form to: Out & About Nashville, P.O. Box 330818, Nashville,Tenn. 37203 or e-mail subscriptions@outandaboutnashville.com. Name: _______________________________ Address: _____________________________ City: ________________ State: _________ Zip Code: ________________ � Enter me in the contest and start my FREE subscription. � I already have a subscription, but I’d like to enter the contest. � Enter me in the contest, but I do not want a subscription. (check only one box and see pg. 4 for complete contest rules.)
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