QNotes, August 6, 2021

Aug. 6-19, 2021 qnotes 1

2 qnotes Aug. 6-19, 2021

Aug. 6-19, 2021
Vol 36 No 08
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inside this issue
feature
8 Affordable Housing
Continues to be a
Problem for Us All
news
4 Rapper and Former
Charlotte Resident DaBaby
Spews Anti-Gay Slurs
4 British Town Must Pay
Franklin Graham for
Pulling Bus Ads
4 Briefs
5 Deputy Indicted for
Shooting Gay Virginian
5 Charlotte Band Performs
August 14
a&e
13 Tell Trinity
14 Netflix Documentary
‘Pray Away’ Explores
‘Gay Reprogramming’
life
6 Queer Immigrants
Are Being Left Out
of the Conversation
10 Gender Affirmation Leads
to Better Health
12 Comparing the Costs
15 Our People: Dr. Andrea Pitts
views
11 Can the Supreme Court
Overturn Marriage Equality?
events
For event listings, visit
goqnotes.com/events-calendar.
Netflix Documentary
‘Pray Away’ Explores
‘Gay Reprogramming’
Director Kristine Stolakis speaks with
qnotes about her journey in creating
the film. “Pray Away” features a
survivor and ex-leaders of a 1970s
conversion camp, Exodus International.
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Aug. 6-19, 2021 qnotes 3

news
Rapper and Former Charlotte Resident
DaBaby Spews Anti-Gay Slurs
Jonathan Lyndale Kirk, rapper name “DaBaby,” was born in Ohio but moved
to North Carolina eight years later. After graduating from Charlotte’s Vance
High School, he attended the University of North Carolina at Greensboro for
two years. Now 29-years-old, Kirk is worth over three million dollars and has
collaborated on singles with Lizzo, Megan Thee Stallion and Post Malone.
While performing at the Rolling Loud music festival on July 25, DaBaby
shocked the audience by saying, “put your cell phone lights up [if] you didn’t
show up today with HIV/AIDS or other STDs that’ll make you die in two to three
weeks.” He went on to rattle off other crude remarks, aimed at gay men.
Videos of DaBaby’s vulgar and homophobic words went viral. Immediately after
an influx of concerned messages made their way into DaBaby’s inbox, he tweeted,
“I told you y’all digested that wrong, but I ain’t gone lie I’m impressed. Now show
this same amount of support when a racist cop kill one of our black ass… YA NOT.”
His attempt at deflection, however, has gone largely ignored. Over 7,000
fans and fellow performers commented on DaBaby’s apparent lack of remorse.
Nonbinary black rapper Dijah SB replied to the Tweet with, “there’s
something seriously wrong with you.”
Sensing the public’s disquiet, DaBaby tweeted again on July 27, saying,
“anybody who has ever been effected by AIDS/HIV y’all got the right to be
upset, what I said was insensitive even though I had no intention of offending
anybody.” It was too little too late for musicians like Elton John and Dua Lipa.
Elton John took to Twitter as well, publishing a thread of information about HIV/AIDS. His original post reads, “This [DaBaby’s words]
fuels stigma and discrimination and is the opposite of what our world needs to fight the AIDS epidemic.”
He was soon joined by Dua Lipa, who posted on Instagram, “I don’t recognize this as the same person I worked with.” She then clarified
that she stands “100 percent with the LGBTQ community.”
DaBaby then made a shocking reversal in which he said the following on his Instagram account: “What me and my fans do at the live
show, it don’t concern you n***as on the internet, or you bitter bi***s on the internet. It’s not your business.”
To make matters even worse for himself, DaBaby released a new music video on July 28.
Titled, “Giving What It’s Supposed to Give,” this video shows DaBaby sandwiched between two men who are fighting. He then holds up
a sign that reads “AIDS” and shoots them both. The music video ends with the words “don’t fight hate with hate” in rainbow lettering and
the phrase “my apologies for being me the same way you want the freedom to be you” underneath.
Robert Stafford, queer black singer Lil Nas X’s father, was not impressed with any of DaBaby’s antics. Lil Nas X had previously worked
with DaBaby on the song “Panini.” Stafford’s Instagram story featured a photo of DaBaby along with the words “bruh sit down, you had
your time.” A few days later, Lil Nas X tweeted, “some of y’all not even mad that I’m gay, some of y’all mad that i’m gay and still succeeding.”
info: wapo.st/3idVfT1
— Julianna Peres
British Town Must Pay Franklin Graham for Pulling Bus Ads
Franklin Graham says the LGBTQ community is destined for
the ‘flames of hell.’ (Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons)
4 qnotes Aug. 6-19, 2021
DaBaby continues to dig himself into a deeper hole with each
new social media post. (Photo Credit: Promo video screenshot)
Franklin Graham was born to well-known evangelist, Missionary Billy Graham,
Franklin Graham says the LGBTQ community is destined for
in Asheville, N.C. nearly seven decades ago. Since then, he has stayed close to his
the ‘flames of hell.’ (Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons)
roots, placing the Franklin Graham Headquarters in Charlotte and maintaining a
residence in Boone.
Not everyone in Boone and Charlotte is particularly thrilled that Graham
spends as much time as he does between the two locations. His Christian-centric
views and intolerant views have earned him the reputation of being a bigoted, racist
and homophobic opportunist.
Within the past year, Graham led Samaritan’s Purse, a missionary-based
organization that aims to provide humanitarian aid in the midst of the COVID-19
pandemic. Seemingly well-intentioned, the organization created a 68-bed field
hospital for COVID-19 positive patients. However, the illusion of benevolence
came toppling down when Graham announced that the hospital was looking for a
specifically Christian staff of doctors, nurses and paramedics.
Although Graham apologized for this particular incident, he has no remorse for
having published “[The] LGBT agenda wants to force everyone to accept and condone
their lifestyle, which God’s Word defines as sin,” in 2016. A 2014 interview
also shows Graham arguing that gay and lesbian individuals cannot have children
because it is biologically impossible. He then reasons that, despite not being able
to naturally create their own children, members of the LGBTQ community are “recruiting children.” Graham rationalizes, “you can adopt a
child into a marriage, but you can also recruit children into your cause, and I believe in protecting children from all exploitations.”
In a more recent turn of events, Graham has been awarded reparations from the city of Blackpool in England for what Graham has referred
to as “an important moment for religious freedom in the U.K.” The case began in July, 2018 when Graham purchased bus ads that read
“Lancashire Festival of Hope with Franklin Graham: Time for Hope.” These advertisements were not religious or homophobic in nature, but the
Blackpool Transport Services felt that they did not send a message of support and acceptance to the LGBTQ community and removed them.
Graham subsequently sued Blackpool for acting in a way the judge deemed as discriminatory on the basis of Articles Ten and Fourteen
of the European Council of Human Rights Act. Graham will receive £84,000 to cover legal fees and £25,000 in “just satisfaction” damages
(just over $150,000).
According to Graham, it’s not about the money. The outcome of this case was significant to him for one specific reason: to set precedence
for a lawful combining of free speech and religious freedom.
But it is certainly a tidy little sum for Graham to add to his coffers: he has an estimated worth of $10 million dollars and earns a salary
of over $622,000 every year.
In comes as a particularly disturbing thought that Graham has succeeded in spreading a taste of his toxic blend of philosophy into
the U.K., but not surprising from an individual who has repeatedly said over the years he loves gay, lesbian and transgender individuals
“enough to care to warn them that if they … continue living as they do, it’s the flames of hell for you.”
If those words come from a man who thinks he’s loving and compassionate, just imagine what’s going on in his head when he’s feeling scornful.
info: bbc.in/3feOdeR
— Julianna Peres
Briefs
CHARLOTTE
LGBTQ Business Owners Discuss Their
Wins and Losses Over Lunch
Facilitated by the Carolinas LGBT
Chamber of Commerce and Sunshine
Media Network, this entrepreneurial
exchange will take place on August
11 at 11:30 a.m. at the NoDa Brewing
Company. Speakers include Anita
Staton, owner of Miles Solution,
Matthew Westheimer, owner of
Precision Chiropractic, Nattiel Turner,
owner of Your Custom Catering &
Events and Jennifer Moxley, owner of
Sunshine Media. These titans of industry
will be available to answer questions
from new, and seasoned, business owners.
Lunch will be provided, but tickets
are limited.
info: bit.ly/3rCqslO
NORTH CAROLINA
Onslow County LGBTQ Center
Host Discussion Featuring Author
J.R. Gray-Heim
J.R. Gray-Heim penned “Repentance of
the Southern Burden” as a sort of fictitious
homage ot his life as a closeted
gay youth in Dallas, N.C. Now living
with his husband in Fayetteville, N.C.,
J.R. is excited to discuss the themes of
fear, religion and isolation scattered
throughout his debut YA novel. He will
be answering questions and speaking
on his experience at the Onslow County
Public Library on August 14 at 3:00 p.m.
This event is completely free.
info: bit.ly/3yd4U1p
NATIONAL
Trump Supporter in Ohio Caught
Defecating on Gay Neighbors’ Lawn
At 70-years-old, Jack Detrick has no
problem staying active. After being
spotted in his neighbors’ lawn at
3:15 a.m., Detrick admitted to the
Greenville Police Department that he
had been defecating and urinating
on that lawn for over 10 years. When
asked why, Detrick replied, “because
they are Democrats and support Joe
Biden.” Detrick denies targeting the
couple because they were gay, rather,
he continues to argue that he was
expressing his political opinion on the
Democratic Party and nothing more.
He has been sentenced to 20 days in
prison, 30 hours of community service,
one year of probation and a $232
fine. These penalties have been filed
under “littering.”
info: bit.ly/3A09iS4
INTERNATIONAL
Rugby Player Will Not Be Forced to
Return to Kenya Where He Says He
Would Be Targeted for His Sexuality
Kenneth Macharia, a 41-year-old
rugby player from Kenya, has just
had his refugee appeal granted. The
Kenyan high court refuses to recognize
same-sex marriage and persecution
of members of the LGBTQ community
is commonplace. Macharia arrived
in the United Kingdom in 2009 on a
student visa. Through the years, he
has become a specialist mechanical
engineer as well as a talented sportsman.
He and his rugby teammates are
overjoyed to find that he may stay in
the U.K., where he feels welcomed,
and most importantly, safe.
info: bit.ly/3A2jRnz
— Compiled by Julianna Peres

Deputy Indicted for
Shooting Gay Virginian
Isiah Brown, a 32-year-old gay Black
man, was shot multiple times in front of
his Virginia home following a call he placed
to police for help on April 21. After telling
the 911 operator that he was “going to kill
his brother” but did not have a gun or any
weapon, the 911 operator told Brown not
to kill his brother and to wait outside for
police to arrive on the scene. She also told
him to raise his hands above his head.
Brown followed those instructions
specifically, but reportedly continued to
hold a household cordless phone in one
of his hands. Spotsylvania County Deputy
Isiah Brown was shot eight times by a sheriff
who knew him. (Photo Credit: Facebook)
Sheriff David Turbyfill answered the 911
call, after he had given Brown a ride to the
same location earlier in the evening. When
he arrived on the scene a second time, he
claims he thought the phone in Brown’s hand was a gun.
Turbyfill’s name and bodycam footage were released to the media July 15, when he
was officially charged with felony reckless handling of a firearm.
Brown is currently recovering from his extensive wounds, but the extent of long
term physical damage he may have experienced is still unknown. The charge that
Turbyfill now faces, according to Brown’s attorney David Haynes, is inadequate for
what the attorney believes to be malicious intent.
Video footage of the encounter has been posted online and confirms Turbyfill did
tell Brown multiple times to “drop the gun.” No response from Brown can be heard,
and why Turbyfill purportedly believed that Brown was holding a gun, especially
considering he had spent time with the man just a short time earlier, remains unclear.
Whether or not Turbyfill entered the scene with the express purpose of harming
Brown is also unknown.
Haynes disagrees about Turbyfill’s intents and issued the following statement: “We
are calling for the immediate termination of Deputy David Turbyfill.”
Since the incident in April and Brown’s discharge from the hospital in May, Turbyfill
has not been taken off of the force. Instead, he has been placed on desk duty for the
remainder of the investigation.
If he is convicted of the felony charge, the most time he will spend in prison is five years.
info: bit.ly/3rQJRPZ
— Julianna Peres
Charlotte Pride Band
Performs August 14
50 members, the president
and the directors of the
Charlotte Pride Band (CPB) are
more than excited to make their
Freedom Park debut on August
14 at 6 p.m. Admission is free
for this “Concert in the Park” and
film fanatics are encouraged to
attend to hear the band play the
compositions of John Williams,
among others. The musical medleys
will include Williams’ compositions
from “2001: A Space
Odyssey,” “Star Wars,” “E.T.” and
“Jurassic Park.” His “Olympic
Fanfare and Theme” is another timely addition to accompany the Tokyo Games.
Says CPB President and member of the CPB’s trumpet section, Ron Vereen:
“Because we are a relatively young organization in Charlotte, I don’t think people know
much about us, and we want to change that.”
Things seemed to be looking up prior to the pandemic, with over 60 active
members between the ages of 17 and 75. Unfortunately, the band took a hit when it
became impossible for them to host indoor rehearsals and concerts.
Vereen is confident that the CPB will have 70-plus members by year’s end. Unlike
other performance troupes, the CPB does not hold auditions and allows anyone of
any musical talent to join. CPB holds four yearly concert band performances and participates
in the annual Charlotte Pride Parade.
Founded in 2010, the Band also hosts non-ensemble events such as the Charlotte
Pride Band brass quintet for Sunday Brunch Brass. Their primary tenet is openness for
all interested participants and the encouragement and welcoming of diversity.
Flutist Kate Walters was overjoyed to find such a welcoming space. She found
comfort in returning to her roots, so to speak. “Over the past few years I slipped away
from playing as other priorities took over, but recently felt compelled to play again.
My fiancé is musical, and, honestly, his inclination to play for enjoyment pushed me to
find a band of my own to play with.”
After mustering the courage to email CPB about rehearsals, Walters found community,
welcomed challenges and a judgement-free ensemble.
info: charlotteprideband.org
— Julianna Peres
Staff
J. Wesley Thompson MHS, PA, AAHIVS, DFAAPA
HIV Director and co-founder
Richard T. Wynn, MD
Primary Care Director and co-founder
Mandy Irvin, PharmD, CPP, AAHIVP
Clinical Pharmacist Practitioner
Jason L. Hardin, MSN, AGNP-C, AAHIVS
Jerry A. Saunders, MD PhD
Heather Manos, MD
Shane Bentley, PharmD, CPP
Clinical Pharmacist Practitioner
Bill Kreft, PA-C
Hana Kim, PA-C
PrEP • LGBTrans Care • HIV Care
Primary Care • Diabetes Care
Accepting new patients daily!
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Amity Medical Group, Inc is a 501(c)3 non-profit organization that
proudly serves the Charlotte community in providing medical care
and linkage to community services to serve your daily needs.
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Phone: 704-208-4134
Fax: 704-248-8068
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10508 Park Rd. • Suite 130
Charlotte, NC 28201
Phone: 704-208-4134
Fax: 704-248-7845
New Location! (Opening July 2021)
9835 Monroe Rd. • Suite B
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Aug. 6-19, 2021 qnotes 5

life
Queer Immigrants Are Being
Left Out of the Conversation
Attorney Discusses Ways He Works to Improve Quality of Life
by Julianna Peres
qnotes Staff Writer
North Carolina legislation aims to discredit undocumented people. (Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons)
LGBTQ immigrants exist. Despite some
of the outdated laws relating to immigration
in North Carolina, queer
people continue to flock to the state.
According to the 2019 census, eight percent
of North Carolinians are foreign-born
people. Why? In short: the alternatives of
persecution, harassment, violence and
even death in their home countries make
North Carolina look like a promised land.
Candelario Saldana has worked with
LGBTQ and immigration issues throughout
his personal and professional life. “As
an undocumented LGBTQ immigrant, the
fear of calling the police surpasses all,”
Saldana explains, “Unfortunately, within
the community, these people experience
high levels of domestic violence, but, in being
unable to call the police, they may be
forced to stay with an abuser.”
Saldana goes on to explain that those
in such a position are often made to weigh
the consequences. Calling the police may
mean deportation and deportation may
be a fate worse than mental, emotional or
physical abuse. These types of decisions
are nothing new to the 47 million undocumented
immigrants currently residing in
the United States.
A 2014 study found that 32.1 percent
of non-citizens lived below the poverty
line in North Carolina. This same survey
shows that 2.5 percent of North
Carolinians were, at the time, naturalized
citizens and 5.1 percent were noncitizens.
The undocumented are also not
permitted to get a driver’s license or pay
in-state tuition.
As of July 16, 2021, a block has been
placed on all recent and pending Deferred
Action for Childhood Arrivals (DACA)
recipients. This includes the 35,000 immigrants
in North Carolina who have been
deemed eligible for the DACA program. As
well, North Carolina has a far lesser likelihood
of providing immigrants with legal
representation in courts of law in general
and in deportation cases.
Republican North Carolinian
Representative
Madison Cawthorn
introduced the
“No-Fly for Illegals
Act.” This bill aims
to ban federal
funds from being
used to source airlines
that allow for
undocumented immigrants
to travel
throughout the
country. The only
exceptions permitted
in this bill are
individuals who are
in the process of
being deported.
“I [was] undocumented
for
27 years,” Saldana
reminisces, “I
As a formerly undocumented LGBTQ immigrant,
Candelario Saldana has firsthand experience.
finally naturalized, but I remember living
in fear every day of what was next.” Now
an accomplished lawyer, a majority of
Saldana’s cases are related to LGBTQ
immigrants. In
providing aid to
queer people from
around the world,
Saldana says the
experience leaves
him in constant
awe of the privileges
that many
Americans take
for granted.
Saldana is currently
working on
a pro-bono case
with an HIV-positive
Jamaican man
who was residing
in South Carolina.
“Even in a state that
isn’t known as the
most welcoming
to LGBTQ people
in the U.S.,” Saldana says, “he [the client]
said that it was so much better than his
home country because he felt free to live
as [himself].”
Although the United States is more
accepting than other nations, it has yet to
recognize the contributions and significance
of non-documented immigrants.
Right now, there is a shortage of serviceproviding
employees available to work in
the midst of the pandemic, in additon to
the lack of incoming migrants. Saldana
emphasizes that, should all undocumented
people be deported, the country would
fall into economic turmoil.
In order to create a safer and more
welcoming environment for immigrants,
changes must be made on a
national and local level. Thanks to the
efforts of Mecklenburg County Sheriff
Garry McFadden, Charlotteans will not
be detained for ICE by local law enforcement.
These seemingly small scale
changes can lead to greater economic
and social mobility.
There is an intense lack of comprehensive
mental and physical healthcare
for LGBTQ immigrants. Immigration
Equality has been engaging the community
for over 25 years in the hopes of
creating an environment of inclusivity for
all LGBTQ immigrants. Their ultimate goal
is to obtain asylum for all HIV-positive
and queer people who are unsafe in their
home countries.
The Immigration Legal Resource
Center has also published a comprehensive
guide titled “LGBTQ Immigration:
Ensuring Equality for All.” Making
resources accessible may be as simple
as voting in local elections, translating
files into multiple languages and creating
LGBTQ-inclusive religious organizations
for those outside of the Catholic/
Christian denominations.
“Immigrants aren’t heard because
they fear that if they speak, they will
be arrested, deported or dismissed,”
Saldana explains.
“Allow them to speak through you,” he
adds, “rather than speaking for them.” : :
6 qnotes Aug. 6-19, 2021

Aug. 6-19, 2021 qnotes 7

news
Affordable Housing Continues
to be a Problem for Us All
Successful Businesses and Gov’t Orgs Reaching Out to Those in Need
by Julianna Peres
qnotes Staff Writer
The Havens is a 25-unit property in
Charlotte, originally built in 1995 to
provide housing for those living with
HIV/AIDS and other disabilities.
Charlotte residents Pete Mangum
and partner Libby Jernigan were among
the first to recognize that a place like The
Havens could provide life-altering potential
for patients in need.
Originally a board member of the
HIV services organization Brothers
Foundation, Mangum was no stranger to
the challenges both clients and organizations
faced during that time. While searching
for potential funding, she came across
a grant from the Department of Housing
and Urban Development (HUD) that could
potentially allow Mangum and Jernigan to
start the process for the creation of the
space they envisioned.
After filling out extensive paperwork,
submitting the grant request and finally
being awarded the funding, the two purchased
a piece of land that would eventually
become Haven House and one of
the first ever affordable housing units for
people living with HIV/AIDS in Charlotte.
It was Mangum who approached Rev.
Debbie Warren about The Havens, asking
her to bring it to the board of RAIN as a potential
collaboration. Warren spent almost
30 years at RAIN after founding the organization
and serving as the Executive Director
Dedicated to providing education, medical
and emergency assistance to those with
HIV/AIDS, RAIN has been recognized by several
local award committees for embodying
their mission to “replace judgment with
understanding, prejudice with compassion
and ignorance with knowledge.”
“Pete, along with Mickey Helms, the
Property Manager, are a very important part
of the reason that The Havens has been sustained
to this very moment,” said Warren.
In 2020, The Havens’ board requested
RAIN’s expertise in support services, management,
and fundraising. On March 1 of
this year, The Havens expanded its board
bringing on Warren as Board Chair and
creating an advisory committee. Today,
The Havens operates under its 501(c)3
nonprofit and RAIN provides programmatic
and fundraising support. According
to Warren, they are still getting to know
each other and be good partners. “We
just wanted to make sure this property is
preserved for our community,” she said.
There are 6,665 people living with HIV
in Mecklenburg County according to 2019
data from AIDSVu which tracks the impact
of the virus on communities across the
United States. Of those, only 70.7 percent
are linked to HIV care.
Since that initial request from Mangum
so many years ago, both RAIN and Haven
House have evolved their offered services,
client needs and the number of clients.
“What we’ve been able to do,” Warren
8 qnotes Aug. 6-19, 2021
The Havens, an affordable housing community, recently received a surprise donation from Lowe’s
that will allow them to make necessary repairs and updates. (Photo Credit: Jim Yarbrough)
offers, “is to begin to understand, on a
deeper level, what all the issues are and
then what the priorities should be.”
Stable housing has been closely linked
to positive health outcomes, and 25 years
after the founding of The Havens, it is still
a major priority for people living with HIV
in Charlotte.
“Affordable housing is something that
people are very interested in right now
because there is no affordable housing
in Charlotte [and] there is no affordable
housing for people with disabilities,” says
attorney Lee Robertson who chairs RAIN’s
board of directors. The Haven’s model
aims to eradicate the stigma surrounding
both disabilities as well as homelessness.
According to the HOPWA 20 strategic
plan, “many PLWHA (people living with
HIV/AIDS) face multiple
life challenges
that present unique
barriers to accessing
housing, care
and services. These
challenges, especially
if compounded
by experiences of housing discrimination,
stigma or limited local affordable housing
options, often jeopardize individuals’
chances of remaining stably housed.”
HOPWA, or Housing Opportunities for
Persons With AIDS, was established as
part of the Cranston-Gonzalez National
Affordable Housing Act of 1990. It provides
funding to eligible jurisdictions to address
the housing needs of persons living with
HIV/AIDS and their families.
A National Model
While The Havens still receives some
of its funding from HUD grants and federal
support, it is not currently receiving
HOPWA funds. In April, HUD announced a
$41 million grant program to fund efforts
that use housing as an effective structural
intervention to end HIV. “We know safe,
stable housing is critical for persons living
with HIV to best manage their health,”
said HUD Secretary Marcia L. Fudge in a
press statement.
Programs across the country are
addressing these needs in similar ways.
Seattle’s Downtown Emergency Service
Center (DESC) created a housing first
model that has been featured in HOPWA’s
“best practices series.” Founded in 1979,
the organization grew from providing
emergency shelter to being a nationally
recognized leader in innovative strategies
that end homelessness.
In 2020, they opened Hobson Place,
providing 85 affordable studio apartments
with supportive services on-site. A
second phase is expected to be complete
in early 2022 with physical and behavioral
healthcare clinics in
addition to 92 more
affordable housing
units. Hobson is part
of 18 supportive
housing facilities
owned and managed
by DESC in addition
to a scattered site housing program.
In New Orleans, the Belle Reve was
the first nonprofit assisted living facility
in the state to serve people with HIV.
The organization has expanded services
to provide affordable housing for aging
adults 62 years and older, but continue
to provide on-site case management and
at least forty percent of the apartment
units serve tenants earning no more
than 60 percent of area median income.
Throughout COVID-19, Belle Reve House
has kept the virus contained and kept the
residents safe in a city where transmission
rates are incredibly high.
The Southern U.S. accounts for approximately
45 percent of all people living
with an HIV diagnosis in the United States
and more than half (51 percent) of all new
diagnoses in 2018.
Community Support
During her time at RAIN, Warren
witnessed the impact that stigma has on
the lives of people living with HIV/AIDS. Its
something that the national home improvement
Lowe’s recognizes as well. The
company is headquartered in Mooresville
and recently made the decision to aim its
Foundation’s funding efforts in and around
the immediate Charlotte Metro region.
After interacting with RAIN for some
time, the Lowe’s Foundation decided to
pay The Havens a visit in June, 2021. “We
want to make sure we have safe and affordable
housing,” Chief Financial Officer
for Lowe’s Dave Denton told WSOC-
TV. In a surprised check reveal, Lowes
Foundation awarded The Havens $200,000
in grant money and another $50,000 in
extra funds. The money will help renovate
25 accommodation units and common
areas of the property.
In 2020, the foundation announced
they would be allotting $9.25 million in
total to Charlotte-area charitable organizations.
Thus far, that has included Charlotte
Museum of History, Central Piedmont
Community College, Goodwill Industries
of the Southern Piedmont, Habitat for
Humanity of the Charlotte Region, Veterans
Bridge Home, A Roof Above, Innovation
Alley and Time Out Youth, among others.
The recognition of typically marginalized
voices is something Lowe’s continually
strives to achieve. The hardware and
home-improvement corporation is headed
by Marvin Ellison, who is one of only four
Black Fortune 500 CEOs.
As part of that commitment, $3.87
million is supporting homeownership in
Mecklenburg and Iredell Counties. Lowe’s
also donated $200,000 to LISC Charlotte
for neighborhood revitalization projects in
the Historic West End.
“Our immediate goal is to stabilize the
property,” Warren explains. “In the last
few years, when HUD funding no longer
covered [all] the issues The Havens was
having, our goal has become to take care
of the immediate needs that have risen,
while also working towards an attractive,
comforting feel for the residents.”
Warren, Robertson and the boards of
RAIN and The Havens maintain that when
someone has a place to live, it immediately
raises the bar on their quality of life by
providing comforts everyone seeks, resulting
in an improved sense of well-being and
overall happiness. : :
qnotes is part of six major
media companies and other
local institutions reporting on and engaging
the community around the problems and
solutions as they relate to the COVID-19
pandemic. It is a project of the Charlotte
Journalism Collaborative, which is supported
by the Local Media Project, an initiative
launched by the Solutions Journalism
Network with support from the Knight
Foundation to strengthen and reinvigorate
local media ecosystems. See all of our reporting
at charlottejournalism.org.

* * * SPONSORED CONTENT * * *
Join Charlotte Pride for
Our Weekend of Service,
August 21-22
Charlotte Pride invites the entire community to a citywide and regional
weekend of service and solidarity. The pandemic has taught us important
lessons. One of the most important things we have learned from this
pandemic is how important it is to give back and support each other.
How you can participate:
Get together with your team at your nonprofit, community group, schools
or student organizations, faith institution, business, ERG, or even an
informal group of friends and plan out a community service or volunteer
project that your team can lead and participate in, Aug. 21-22!
Ideas for service or volunteer projects:
Park, stream, or road clean ups. Neighborhood or other community
beautification projects. Community gardening or support. Food, clothing,
and other resource drives/events/free stores. Soup kitchens. Elder or youth
support. Community arts project. Animal shelter support. Free little library
or pantry construction, installation, and/or stocking. And so much more!
Register your project:
Once you’ve determined and chosen your project, register it with
Charlotte Pride! We want to give you shout outs and keep track of our
collective community impact! You can learn more, find a downloadable
one-sheeter of this information in this article, and register your service
project online by August 11th at charlottepride.org/service.
Want to volunteer as an individual? Sign up with Charlotte Pride!
Charlotte Pride is hosting three service projects and you’re invited to sign
up! These are perfect opportunities for folks who aren’t already connected
with a community organization planning their own service project. Join us
on the morning of Saturday, Aug. 21 for farm support at the Urban Farm
at Aldersgate or for a road clean-up on Statesville Ave. Afterward, we’ll
have an ice cream social! We’re also hosting a remote and virtual service
opportunity for those who can’t travel to or otherwise participate in inperson
projects. If this is more your vibe, join us on Sunday, Aug. 22 as
we phone bank for equality! Learn more and register for these projects at
charlottepride.org/service.
Coming Soon: Charlotte Pride Clothing and Resource Drive
Charlotte Pride will extend the spirit of its service and solidarity
throughout August and September with a clothing drive! Brand new or
gently used clothes will be accepted starting Aug. 21 through Sept. 12
at a variety of LGBTQ-friendly businesses and other locations in town.
Encouraged donation items include: masculine clothing in smaller sizes,
feminine clothing in larger sizes, and items for business/professional wear.
Donors may also purchase and donate brand new, unopened packs of
underwear and socks of any size, including those for children. Collected
materials will be made available at the Charlotte Pride Free Store, hosted
during the Pop-Up Pride Festival on Saturday, Sept. 18. Donation box
locations will be announced soon. Prepare your donation items now!
Aug. 6-19, 2021 qnotes 9

life
Gender Affirmation Leads to Better Health
DEI and LGBTQ Community Health Care
by L’Monique King
qnotes Staff Writer
In June of 2013 the world watched and
held their breath as George Zimmerman
went to trial, charged with shooting
and killing Trayvon Martin, a Black teen
who lost his life at Zimmerman’s hand on
February 26, 2012, in Sanford, Florida.
Zimmerman was found not guilty
— he insisted it was self-defense — and
many took to the internet to express their
grief, anger and disbelief.
One of those people was Alica Garza, a
Black queer woman, activist and author.
Lots of folks responded to Garza’s
Facebook post. One of the respondents (a
queer activist and LGBTQ rights advocate)
was Patrisse Cullors. Cullors ended her
response to Garza’s post with a hashtag,
#BlackLivesMatter.
Shortly after and joined by human
rights advocate and strategist, Opal
Tometi, the three women organized a
Black-centered political project that became
the Black Lives Matter movement,
aka BLM. The movement went national
about a year later in 2017 after the deaths
of Michael Brown in Missouri and Eric
Garner in New York.
Prior to 2013, the letters BLM were just
that, three letters. Although there probably
were some environmentally conscious
folks who might have recognized
the letters as an acronym for the U.S.
Department of Interior’s “Bureau of Land
Management,” what is most commonly
thought of today is the social justice movement
these three women spearheaded.
Not as well-known, however, is their
statement on inclusion:
We affirm the lives of Black queer and
trans folks, disabled folks, undocumented
folks, folks with records, women and all
Black lives along the gender spectrum.
Prior to BLM gaining the recognition
that made them a household name and
powerhouse political force, another closely
related acronym existed that was not as
widely recognized: DEI (Diversity, Equity
and Inclusion). That has since changed.
The Centers for Disease Control
(CDC), a leader in DEI practices, defines
Diversity as an appreciation and respect
for the many differences and similarities
in the workplace. This includes varied
perspectives, approaches and competencies
of coworkers and populations
we serve.
To uncover the defining explanation
for Equity, we look to YW Boston (YWB), a
social justice organization (and offshoot
of the YWCA) that has been at the helm
of equality advancement and empowerment
for women since 1866. From YWB’s
website: “Equity is the fair treatment,
access, opportunity and advancement for
all people, while at the same time striving
to identify and eliminate barriers that
have prevented the full participation of
some groups.”
The CDC goes a step further to offer the
definition of Inclusion as a set of behaviors
that encourages employees [and others] to
feel valued for their unique qualities that
result in a sense of belonging.
10 qnotes Aug. 6-19, 2021
Health care agencies need to respect a person’s pronouns and recognize that gender identity
goes beyond a checkbox of male or female. (Photo Credit: The Gender Spectrum Collection)
In the not-so-distant past, DEI was
a phrase primarily echoed in Human
Resources Departments. Post-BLM, however,
more organizations and individuals
are realizing what an important role DEI
plays in the workforce, social settings and
the world at large.
That said, companies who want to
show their social consciousness (particularly
in the wake of massive social
justice unrest) have jumped to hire DEI
Administrators and now offer their staff
DEI training (virtually and in person) while
promoting and marketing their efforts
to clients and customers. The healthcare
industry, which has largely evolved into
a for-profit business in the United States,
isn’t much different, but one does wonder,
particularly during this era of political
correctness and so-called “cancel culture,”
just how good of a job is being done, and
is needed change actually taking place?
In seeking answers to those questions,
qnotes took a look at how DEI in
the LGBTQ community is being handled
in health care. More simply, we looked
at how the power of words (and actions)
finds its way onto medical forms and in
the interactions and care received by
LGBTQ community members.
Most people know that slurs and
negative connotations cause pain, but
many don’t think or realize how that
same pain can occur when people have
their very existence erased. For instance,
if a non-binary (not identifying as male or
female) or gender non-conforming person
wanted to apply for health insurance
through Blue Cross Blue Shield NC, the
largest health insurance organization in
the state, they would immediately notice
they are required to check one of only
two boxes for gender.
The same can be said for many intake
and assessment forms required for service
by countless health care providers. Gender
is frequently limited to male and female
and most often there’s nothing that allows
a transgender-identified individual
representation. Once a person gets past
that, they then have to interact with staff
and practitioners who may have missed the
DEI class or simply do not realize that their
language is hurtful and/or non-affirming.
Microaggressions like mis-gendering
folks (referring to people by the wrong
pronoun) has been linked with increased
suicide rates among transgender individuals.
Microaggressions are subtle statements,
incidents or actions which are
often unintentional, yet discriminatory toward
a marginalized group. A 2018 study
published in the Journal of Adolescent
Health surveyed 129 transgender and gender
nonconforming youth from three U.S.
cities. It looked at the microaggression of
mis-gendering and not using a person’s
chosen name. Their findings echoed what
many already know about the power of
words that affirm or wound.
In assessing the use of chosen names
and examining the association with
depression, suicidal ideation and suicidal
behavior, the study revealed that after
making the adjustment of using a trans
youth’s chosen name in more contexts
(home, school, work or with friends)
those young people had lower rates of
depression, suicidal ideation and suicidal
behavior. The same could also be said
for LGBTQ adults who regularly deal with
health care professionals and others who
routinely do not affirm their identities
with the language they use and the treatment
they deliver.
Avilyn Grace Jac’El (aka Avi Grace) is
a 30-year-old transgender woman and
former lead processing clerk for a major
hospital in the Carolinas. In recalling
experiences surrounding the care of trans
patients, Jac’El reflected upon an incident
she “discovered almost by accident.”
“While collecting paperwork one day,
there were nurses speaking about a transgender
woman. They misgendered her, insisted
on using Mister — right to her face
and behind her back. They blatantly made
fun of the patient — compromising the integrity
of their care. I knew the patient and
relayed the information to the person’s
partner who said, “it was nothing new and
that the treatment was infuriating.”
At the time, Jac’El was too afraid of
personal reprisal to make a formal complaint
against any of the involved hospital
staff. “I said nothing because they were
RNs and supervisors. With one call they
could have had me fired. If I had to do it
all over again, I’d speak up. I should have
made a formal complaint. I spoke with
one of the nurses later [and] nothing
happened. That’s when I realized, trans
people aren’t safe in health care.”
In recounting her own experiences
with health care professionals, Jac’El said
she’s been pretty fortunate. “Personally,
having just come out [as trans] six months
ago; for the most part everyone has been
kind. There is a lot of ignorance and a lot
of speculation but the two primary care
physicians I’ve seen in the last 14 months
have embraced my womanhood.”
Jac’El explained that individuals in the
trans community talk about these things
and support each other. “We know where
to go, I don’t want to say the name, but
everyone knows the hospital … where they
treat us with dignity.”
Some health care professionals are
already doing just that. They’re taking
employer provided DEI training seriously
and to heart. During a recent HIV
testing event at Charlotte Black Pride’s
Expo, qnotes spoke with a young trans
man who confirmed that the person who
tested him was very polite and affirming
by beginning the assessment process
with two questions, “What is your current
gender?” and “What are your pronouns?”
The client was pleased with the interaction,
and noted how something seemingly
so small can go a long way.
In a statement about the importance
of Diversity in the workplace, the CDC
responded with this press release: “To
be a truly effective public health agency,
our workforce must continue to reflect
the populations we serve. Diversity and
inclusion drive innovation, creativity and
improve performance. These improvements
strengthen our work in public
health promotion by eliminating health
care disparities in underserved and minority
communities and enhancing our work
in disease prevention and control.”
It would seem there is plenty of validity
to the CDC’s claims about diversity. The
trans man who had a good experience
received it from a community-based
organization with a very diverse staff that
includes Black and brown LGBTQ community
members and allies that consistently
aim to practice DEI with the empathy and
respect all people deserve.
Jac’El is adamant that ensuring more
positive health care interactions for the
LGBTQ community still remains desperately
needed.
“The education that’s needed is
more than a two-hour seminar once a
year,” she explains, “I know that’s a lot
to ask, but a lot is needed. They [health
care workers] are good with mental
health referrals, but I think an overall
understanding of the transgender story
[is] understanding that every person is
unique. Our lives and pain is real, you
[should] care enough to educate yourself
on your own time.” : :

views
Can the Supreme Court Overturn Marriage Equality?
Legal Eagles
by Connie Vetter, Attorney
Guest Writer
Our right to marriage equality was confirmed by the United States Supreme
Court on June 26, 2015, in the case of Obergefell v. Hodges. Fast forward six
years and thousands of marriages later. Several Justices have been added to
the Supreme Court, and they are not known for their support of LGBTQ+ equality.
Some of my clients and friends have questioned whether the Supreme Court
could overturn the Obergefell decision and take away marriage equality. I’ve paid
close attention to discussions among my legal colleagues around this question
and here’s my takeaway: marriage equality is safe, as a whole, though there may
be religious exemptions carved out. Certainly, marriages that have already taken
place are secure.
There are several reasons to believe marriage equality is secure.
1. Timing: It’s only been six years since the Supreme Court decision in Obergefell, and
the Court does not have a history of overturning itself so quickly.
2. Opportunity: The Supreme Court has heard several cases in which it could limit
LGBTQ+ equality, and it declined to do so in most of them. In fact, last year the
Supreme Court actually expanded employment protections based on sexual orientation
and gender identity in Bostock v. Clayton County. Notably, the Court’s decision
was written by Neil Gorsuch, who was put on the Court by then-President Trump.
Also, just a few weeks ago the Supreme Court declined to hear a case from a florist
who had refused to do flowers for a same-sex couple’s wedding. The Supreme Court
let stand the lower court’s ruling against the florist. The Supreme Court also declined
to take the appeal from a school system wanting to discriminate against a transgender
student in Grimm v. Gloucester County School System and left in place a lower
court ruling in the student’s favor.
3. State Cases: Many states, including North Carolina and South Carolina, gained marriage
equality through state court decisions separate from (and before) Obergefell.
The Fourth Circuit Court of Appeals, which covers North Carolina, South Carolina,
Virginia, Maryland and West Virginia, decided Bostic v. Schaefer in 2014, paving the
way for marriage equality in those states. Marriage equality came to North Carolina
shortly thereafter in General Synod of the United Church of Christ v. Reisinger and
Fisher-Borne v. Smith. South Carolina also gained marriage equality in 2014 in Condon
v. Haley. The bottom line is that even if (and that’s a huge if) the United States
Supreme Court does somehow overturn its own marriage equality decision, the
court decisions based on state law are still intact. The states that gained marriage
equality through state law would also remain.
4. Multiple Avenues: While the current makeup of the United States Supreme Court
is concerning, we always have other avenues to equality. When the Supreme
Court has been hostile to LGBTQ+ equality in the past, the movement has turned
to state courts and legislatures and gained victories there. The coordinated
movement for marriage equality began in the 1990s with a decision in Hawaii
and followed a path throughout the United States with state court decisions
and state laws.
5. You Just Never Know: Finally, throughout the history of the United States Supreme
Court there have been justices who have made decisions differently from what
was expected of them. There have also been justices who have evolved and even
changed how they view things. There is hope that some of the current Supreme
Court Justices will come around to equality.
For these reasons, my colleagues and I believe marriage equality is safe. If you
are married now, you are married. If you are thinking of getting married, get married.
Enjoy your lives together, happily ever after. : :
Connie J. Vetter is the go-to LGBTQ+ Law attorney in the Charlotte area for over 25 years.
Her legal practice focuses on the needs of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Queer
individuals and couples as well as the larger community. Her practice areas include Wills,
Medical Directives, Estate Planning, Adoption, Surrogacy, Name & Gender Marker Changes
and Adult Guardianship. In addition, she is a mediator for the U.S. Postal Service. She can
be reached at 704-333-4000 (talk/text) or CJVLaw.com.
Aug. 6-19, 2021 qnotes 11

life
by Jack Kirven
qnotes Contributor
It should probably go without saying, but health care in
the United States is complicated, expensive and unequally
accessible. It depends upon whether you happen to be
lucky enough to have health insurance. I went without
it for 10 years from 2002 until 2012. I have been a very
happy recipient of the Affordable Care Act, and even when
my monthly premium got as high as $225 per month in
2014, most years was well below that. From 2016-2018 I
paid less than $25 per month, and that was for excellent
coverage. Right now I pay $75 per month, but it covers all
my prescriptions at only $3 per medicine per month, my
maximum out of pocket is $500 for the entire year, and I
can access quite a range of providers within my network.
Like nearly everything else in this country, mental health is
a glaring exception in all this, but overall
it’s better than the alternative.
If you are a mental health care recipient, I would
caution you specifically against a drug called Xyprexa. If
your provider gives you this glibly, ask why. Using it from
2001-2002 put me unknowingly on a literal “Red List.”
When I contacted Blue Cross Blue Shield of NC in 2010,
I was told I would have to pay $1,000 per month, shoulder
a $12,000 annual deductible, and that they would
then cover only 20 percent. (Like, are you kidding me?) I
asked why, and the woman said, “You have a pre-existing
condition. You’re on a red list as a suicide risk because
you took Xyprexa in the past.” Despite preexisting conditions
no longer being allowed, unless you have no other
option, be very careful about allowing yourself to be
Comparing the Costs
Health & Wellness: Immigrants and Healthcare
given this medication (which was largely ineffective and
exacerbated my symptoms).
All this while being a citizen of this country. But what
does this look like for undocumented immigrants or other
residents who cannot access even that level of inadequate
care? It is a strange argument to make, but many people
criticize immigrants for using both free clinics, as well as
emergency rooms. In both cases people will make the argument
that it is too costly to afford marginalized people care.
I did some preliminary digging, and this is what I found.
According to MedPageToday.com, the average community
clinic operates on an annual budget of $460,000 —
keeping in mind that half of clinics operate well below this
level — and see an average of 6,000 patients in a year. This
works out to $76.67 per visit. According to CBSNews.com,
the average cost of a trip to the emergency room without
insurance is $1,273.43. Debt.org puts it at $1,389.00, and
GoodRx.com says it’s $2,000.00. Whatever the number, it
is orders of degrees higher than clinics, which are really
not equipped to handle most anything that is especially
dire. They can treat most minor conditions, thus avoiding
trips to hospitals.
According to PewResearch.org, there were 11.1 million
undocumented immigrants in the United States in 2014.
This amounted to roughly 3 percent of the nation’s population
at the time. Given the severe immigration policies
enacted during the Trump administration, it is plausible
that these numbers are lower now. With this in mind,
even if one were to make the unreasonable assumption
that 30 percent of patients at a clinic are illegal aliens, it
would amount to $138,006.00 per year ($76.67 x 1,800
patients). That percentage is probably patently absurd,
but it makes the point that it actually costs very little to tax
payers to fund clinics. If those 1,800 immigrants go to the
emergency room, it could cost on average as much as $3.6
million to the people paying into insurance. It really cannot
be logically compared.
In addition, especially during the pandemic, immigrants
who cannot access care of any kind risk becoming
spreaders of communicable infections. Those who cannot
access or afford treatment — or refuse it for fear of deportation
— not only sicken and show up in emergency rooms
as a last resort, they also remain vectors for all sorts of
preventable diseases. This in turn leads to more visits to
more clinics and emergency rooms.
Whether from a spirit of compassion and empathy, or
looking stoically at numbers, it seems clear that immigrants
of any status really do need access to health care.
The costs of denying care in terms of lives and treasure
are simply too great. Immigrants already contend with
trauma and stress before arriving and during their residence
in a foreign land. It is an unnecessary burden and
counterproductive obstacle to block them from getting the
care many of them so desperately need. : :
12 qnotes Aug. 6-19, 2021

a&e
How Many Secrets
Does Your Date Have?
Tell Trinity
Dear Trinity,
My boyfriend of several months insists on
staying at my place. I don’t mind, but he refuses
to let me see his home, claiming the family he
rents from are total slobs. I respect his privacy,
but I have a difficult time trusting someone so
secretive. Am I being obsessive or scammed?
Secrets, Pasadena, CA
Dear Secrets,
If you have to, insist on seeing where
he lives! It’s been several months, you’re
allowed! And if he still refuses, start doing a
little investigating, like visiting his workplace,
his gym or his detention center. Honey,
everyone has secrets, especially adults.
Don’t get too obsessive, but DO follow your
intuition with some investigation work!
Good luck, Trinity
Hello Trinity,
I’ve been dating a few guys, at the same
time. There’s nothing wrong with it, is there?
Powerdating, Hoboken, NJ
by Trinity | Contributing Writer
Hello Powerdating,
“Powerdating,” or dating many people
at once, is as smart as shopping for the
best-priced diamond. There’s not only nothing
wrong with it, but I say, you go for it!
Knowing how to powerdate is way smarter
than not dating or dating one loser at a time!
Hey Trinity,
I went to the bar and met someone really
great, who charmed me for hours. They gave
me their number and insisted on talking in a
couple days. Great, right, well I’ve called three
times in a week and nothing. Is it me, them,
the bar or just bad karma?
Bar Karma, Ft. Lauderdale, FL
Hey Bar Karma,
Yes, it’s you, them, the bar and just bad
karma. I know you want one right answer,
but it’s many answers. Remember the four
rules for “meeting someone at the bar,”
1) bar dates are rarely taken seriously, 2)
after the drinks wear off, they may not
remember you, 3) bar flies love to charm
and sting and 4) sometimes the stars are
just not in your favor!
Better luck next time, Trinity
Dearest Trinity,
I vowed never to date a smoker again,
but here I am again. How do I do it this time
without sounding like a certified complainer?
Nonsmoker’s Hell, Columbus, OH
Dearest Nonsmoker’s Hell,
Nonsmokers who date smokers eventually
end up certified complainers. That’s
why, pumpkin, you must start this relationship
by sharing:
Trinity’s “Never To Do” Tips for Dating a Nonsmoker
1. Never smoke IN THE HOUSE. The smell of smoke and lack of oxygen are torturous to
nonsmokers, sort of like slowly being eaten by an alligator.
2. Never smoke IN THE CAR even if it’s a convertible. Nothing’s worse than a romantic
wind blowing while gasping for air.
3. Never smoke IN AN OUTDOOR CAFE because you’ll both have to sit in the smoking (to
death) section plus smoke, ashtrays and food don’t mix.
4. Never let IT SIT IN THE ASHTRAY. Even if someone says, “It doesn’t bother me” It does!
Keep the ashtray far away.
5. Never assume YOUR BREATH IS OK. If you smoke, it stinks, period. After a smoke, swallow
a mint and wash your smelly hands.
6. Never just BRUSH YOUR TEETH. After every cigarette (if you’re home), brush your teeth,
tongue and upper palate.
7. Never assume THREE’S COMPANY and two’s a crowd. Bringing a cigarette on a date is
like bringing your nagging mother along!
8. Never let the OUTDOORS FOOL YOU. Smoke is attracted to nonsmokers. So smoke far
away from them. (Trick: incense disguises cigarette smoke).
9. Never assume ONLY SMOKERS GET MOODY. Just like smokers, nonsmokers can get
moody when they can’t breathe.
10. Lastly, never take A NONSMOKER to a smoking party without a nonsmoking area.
Being trapped in a group of smokers is like... being trapped in quicksand with a group
of smokers. : :
With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking” a weekly radio drama,
performed globally and is now minister of WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings. Sponsored by:
WIG Ministries, www.wigministries.org Gay Spirituality for the Next Generation!
Send e-mails to: Trinity@telltrinity.com
Q-mmunity
connections
space starting at $22:
call qnotes for details
704.531.9988
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Aug. 6-19, 2021 qnotes 13

a&e
Netflix Documentary ‘Pray Away’
Explores ‘Gay Reprogramming’
Director Kristine Stolakis Discusses Her Foray Into Filmmaking
by L’Monique King
qnotes Staff Writer
new documentary, “Pray Away,” is
A now available for viewing from the
popular streaming service Netflix beginning
this month. The film chronicles the
experiences of five evangelicals in the
1970s who come together to form Exodus
International, a group that claimed gay
people could become straight through
prayer and conversion therapy.
Of course, we all know it really doesn’t
work that way, but “Pray Away” makes for
an informative and thought-provoking
documentary that covers a topic you might
be shocked to learn still continues. Even
in today’s America, according to a study
conducted by the Williams Institute at
UCLA, an estimated 700,000 people have
experienced some attempted method of
religion-based or misguided therapy for
sexual orientation modification.
Director Kristine Stolakis’ film is an exploration
of the history and legacy of the
“pray the gay away” or “ex-gay” movement,
most often referred to today as “conversion
therapy” and debunked by mental
health professionals as implausible, irresponsible
and potentially dangerous.
In an exclusive interview with
qnotes, New York born and North
Carolina bred filmmaker Solakis (a
former Chapel Hill resident who now
makes her home in Mount Clair, New
Jersey) talks about her experience and
motivation for making the film.
Where did the idea for “Pray Away”
come from?
“Pray Away” comes from a personal
place. I made the film because my
uncle went through conversion therapy
when he came out as trans as a child.
What followed was depression, anxiety,
suicidal ideation, obsessive compulsive
disorder and addiction. These are all
really common consequences for people
who go through some form of conversion
therapy. He passed away a few
weeks before I went to film school, and I
decided I wanted to create a film about
conversion therapy.
That type of empathy and support is
invaluable. Who have been the biggest
supporters of your career?
I’m really lucky to have a really supportive
partner and great friends. What I can say
is I started this project alone and over the
years it’s grown to be a team of people
who all have a personal connection to this
issue. Filmmaking is really a team sport
and I have a great team.
Are you part of the LGBTQ community
and have you ever had personal issues
with reconciling your identity with religious
ideology?
I’ll say this. I identify as straight and
have benefited from straight privilege
all my life. But on the other side, I’m not
convinced that anyone is entirely straight.
We live in a culture where we dismiss and
pathologize being attracted to someone
of the same sex or questioning your
gender identity. I have come to believe
that straightness does not exist. I really
believe, in terms of making films, that
you must and should have a true stake in
the community you’re covering in making
your film. Then it’s your job to want to
know more and have a team that supports
that. My team is filled with conversion
therapy survivors, queer people who
were raised religiously and queer people
in general.
What was it like gathering all the footage
of past events for the film?
It took a lot of work to gather all the footage
you see in the film, both archival and
observational. It took years. The film took
four years [to complete].
The film focuses on Exodus
International, a religious organization
that promoted the “ex-gay” or “pray the
gay away” movement. While working
on the direction of “Pray Away,” was
there anything you were surprised to
learn about these kinds of movements?
One thing I often say is it’s not just the
Exodus Movement. When Exodus closed,
the “conversion therapy” movement
continued. What surprised me in my research
was the fact that this is a present
tense issue. We know that nearly 700,000
people in the U.S. alone have gone
through some version of this. We also
know it continues on every major continent.
Truly understanding that surprised
me and made me even more determined
to make a film about this.
“Pray Away” is resonating. Not just
because of the subject matter but also
because of how you incorporated imagery
in the telling of the story. Can you
talk a little about the cinematic decisions
of using imagery to reify spoken words,
like when an ex-chairman was recounting
an experience. For example, when he
says traveling — viewers see train tracks.
When he says he was drinking to intoxication
— viewers see an escalator ascending
into darkness.
Everything in the film is intentional. We
shot that sequence on cameras from
that era, using visual language to communicate
something thematically. [For
instance] the fact that we weave in the
visual motif of people listening when you
hear people who are claiming to have
changed from gay to straight or trans to
cis. We always tried to show the audience,
onlookers - showing that this is
how disinformation spreads. It starts in
intimate places; our homes, at a local
fundraiser, at your local church, at a bible
study, and then reverberates out into our
broader culture.
Congratulations on this project, by the
way. I understand it’s your feature film
debut. What made you decide to take
this journey as an art form?
I wish I had a really succinct answer, but
it was a very winding and long journey.
I circled the dream for a while of admitting
to myself that I wanted to make art.
I worked in a lot of different manifestations
of how art intersects social change,
but I really found my calling when I admitted
to myself, I wanted to specifically
direct film. I think for a lot of women, we
haven’t always been given permission
to admit that we want to lead, especially
something with a large technical component.
I think it took me as long as it did
because I was afraid of technology. So, it’s
a combination of storytelling, research,
journalism, cultural anthropology and
social justice and social change [that led
me to filmmaking].
What’s next for Kristine Stolakis?
I am working on an animated documentary
project about the inner lives of
middle school girls that will be rooted
in one girl’s journey in eating disorder
recovery. It will also explore how sexism
manifests in the lives of young girls. It
touches on themes that have become really
important to me like the importance
of mental health in our lives and the way
large forces of oppression get internalized
and taken out on our bodies. In
“Pray Away” you see that in the patterns
of how self-harm shows up. I’ve learned
that eating disorders are the second
deadliest mental health disorder only
second to opioid use.
Before we let you go, do you have any
advice for those who want to enter
the filmmaking industry with plans on
addressing hard hitting issues like you
have done?
My biggest piece of advice for people who
want to enter the film industry is first, go
for it! There’s no accrediting body telling
you — “you are a director” — you have to
proclaim it and believe in it. You are your
film’s first audience member. If you think a
topic is worth investing or exploring, listen
to that. Film is filled with rejection, so you
really have to hold tight to your voice. That
doesn’t mean that you don’t let research
change your mind or the process of making
art lead you to making a surprising
discovery — it just means that you should
feel confident in staying true to your point
of view to the world and your interest. : :
Special thanks to Ryan Turrin of The Karpel
Group for making this interview possible.
14 qnotes Aug. 6-19, 2021

life
by L’Monique King
qnotes Staff Writer
Early in the evening on a hot and humid
Friday, Dr. Andrea Pitts, a professor at
the University of North Carolina at Charlotte
(UNCC), sits at home in East Charlotte, working
on fundraising proposals for LGBTQ Grad
Students of Philosophy. The only known gender
non-conforming tenured professor on
UNCC’s campus looks to be barely over 16
years old, yet is in possession of the knowledge,
grace and wisdom of contemporaries
twice the professor’s actual age of 37.
Within this home office space, walls are
decorated with photos from travel: a map
of central America, a painting by a favorite
uncle and a framed Cannonball Adderley
album, African Waltz. The walls are void of
any degrees, but speak volumes on personal
accomplishments that echo sentiments
of intersectionality.
The easy-going Professor Pitts is happy to
talk about life and attempts to make some
complicated issues surrounding race, gender
and orientation a little more plain.
Our People: Dr. Andrea Pitts
A Gender Non-Conforming Philosophy Professor
What’s it been like being you at work?
In terms of gender, it’s kinda lonely because
so far as I know there aren’t any other trans
or non-binary folks. There are on staff and
maybe there are some adjuncts, but as
far as I know of when it comes to full time
faculty — I’m the only one. For a while, I was
president of the LGBTQ+ Staff and Faculty
Caucus to try to build better representation
on campus.
How’s it going?
It’s alright. It also serves a social function in
assisting staff and faculty find and connect
with each other. But I’m no longer president.
I’m currently the vice president of the Latinx/
Hispanic Faculty and Staff Caucus.
You’ve mentioned your connections
and involved with race and ethnicity a
few times. What do you think about the
recent legislation banning the teaching
of Critical Race Theory? Has it impacted
your teaching?
I think it’s misdirected and another attempt
to prevent future generations from understanding
the deep systemic forms of racism
that exist in the United States.
Thank you for taking time out of your
schedule to speak to qnotes readers today.
Are you originally from the Carolinas?
No. I was born in Panama City, Florida and
grew up in St. Petersburg, Florida. And here’s
the funny thing, I was born in Panama City,
Florida and my mother was born in Panama City, Panama.
What brought you to Charlotte and how long have you
been living here?
I’ve been here for six years. I moved here from Nation,
Tennessee where I was completing my PhD. I moved here
for my position at UNCC.
How do you identify?
Mixed-raced Latinx genderqueer. The broader umbrella
would be trans, but I identify with the term genderqueer
more directly.
What does all that mean for you?
I guess it means that, I’m understanding the term nonbinary
in how it shows up in my life. I would say I’m more
masculine identified in terms of my clothing and gender
presentation, but I also deeply identify with some of the
women in my family in a way that I’m more connected to
and intently related. I described myself in college as a dyke
and a butch.
I liked dyke, the fuck you mentality — the “I’m not here
to please men mentality.” With butch, it was more the
erotic relation to a lover, but now there are newer terms,
and I’m thinking about those terms. It’s probably why I like
genderqueer because it has the erotic in it — the erotic as
power, which is in the Audre Lorde sense.
Why philosophy?
I didn’t know what philosophy was until I was in college [at
the University of North Florida]. I’m the only person in my
generation in my family to go to college. While learning about
jazz [in college], I realized I wasn’t going to be a musician.
I had been studying music, I love jazz, and was also
studying the history of jazz music as a Black art form, as a
Black resistance art form. This was the thing that turned
my head to philosophy. I had been studying how small
changes in musical form or tonality would shift to new
genres and new trajectories in the art form. So, I took an
introduction to philosophy class, and it seemed very similar
to the way that I understood the history of jazz. It had a
similar structure in that small changes led to entirely new
ways of thinking.
‘Critical Race Theory is one of the most helpful ways to address issues of systemic racism that is
available to educators today.’ — Dr. Andrea Pitts (Photo Credit: Elisabeth Paquette)
Wow, what a lane change. So, what’s it like being a
philosophy professor at UNCC?
To be honest I feel lucky. It’s a job that I am happy to
have and grateful for. One of the things I love about it is
that I’m fortunate to be in a job where I work with young
people a lot. The student just out of high school, the
student returning after having a career, the student who
is in college for the first time — all on different journeys
and pathways. Each semester I’m working with a new
group of people. I get to continue to work with young
people and learn from them. Emotionally I feel very lucky
to have that relationship with young people. Especially
because I’m not a parent and don’t plan on becoming a
parent. I still get to be part of their learning process and
have an impact in their lives.
Would you mind elaborating on not wanting to become
a parent?
I love kids, holding babies, playing games, being around
children and all that stuff. My brother had a daughter
when I was 18 and he was 16. I watched her grow, but
I think I got to the point where I don’t know if my life
includes having our own children. We talked about this
years ago and decided against it. We found that in our
lives, it wasn’t something we needed to do to find our
lives meaningful. Also, I have a gay uncle, a Latinx gay
man who never had children who has been involved in
my life since I was young. He didn’t strike me as having
lost anything for not having children. His life seemed full,
and he didn’t seem to have regretted the decision of not
having children.
You mentioned “we” talked about the decision not to
have children. Who is “we”? Do you have a partner?
Yes. My partner is also a faculty member at UNCC. She
teaches Women and Gender Studies and Philosophy. We
met in Grad school and moved together to Charlotte to
begin our jobs here at the university.
Are you out on campus?
Oh yeah, absolutely. It’s a condition of my employment.
I’m not gender conforming, and I can’t hide who I am. I
wouldn’t want to work somewhere that I couldn’t be out.
Which is a privileged position I’m aware of.
Has the recent fervor impacted your
teaching at this point?
No, not at all, and nor will it. Critical Race
Theory is one of the most helpful ways
to address issues of systemic racism that
is available to educators today. CRT can
be considered a fundamental method that’s used to
examine institutional histories and practices to show how
they have developed patterns and ways of excluding and
diminishing the lives of people of color. If we don’t look at
how our institutions have failed people of color, then we
are at risk of perpetuating harm towards people of color
— specifically Black folks.
When you’re not reading, teaching or philosophizing,
what do you do for fun?
I like to Rock Climb, although I haven’t done much of
that during the pandemic. I’ve climbed in Mexico, Puerto
Rico, the U.S. and Canada. And Salsa dancing, I really
enjoy Cuban Casino; it’s a particularly Cuban style of
Salsa dancing.
Sounds like you’ve got a lot going on and have figured
out how to balance academics and recreation. What
do you see yourself doing 20 years from now?
I think in 20 years I’ll likely still be teaching and researching.
Both of which I really adore. I also enjoy history, storytelling
and traveling — so I hope to continue enjoying that
in the future and I hope to still be Salsa dancing.
For someone who isn’t even 40 years old, you really
seemed to have a handle on navigating some complicated
waters. What word of advice would you give
to a 12-year-old trans child that’s struggling with the
journey of being transgender?
Follow your passions. Try to learn to love and care for
your body in a way that feels right. Try to find people who
reflect back that love to you, that love that you have and
want to have for your body.
That’s perfect, and what a perfect day it will be when
body acceptance becomes the norm. What’s a perfect
day for Andrea Pitts looks like? Can you describe it?
Good coffee, sunshine, not much to do and good people.
Is there anything else you’d like qnotes readers to
know about you?
I love connecting with people, and I’m happy to chat with
just about everybody. I like learning about people. : :
Aug. 6-19, 2021 qnotes 15

Help Wanted
Oh yasss, we are hiring
Part time
Flexible schedule
Get to know the LGBTQ community
Great job for college students
Join the bunny family!
Apply with clerk
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White Rabbit
920 Central Ave. | Charlotte, NC 28204
704-377-4067
16 qnotes Aug. 6-19, 2021