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THE NEW YORK DIGEST VOL 1 2016 <strong>PAGE</strong> <strong>18</strong><br />
LIFE CAN BE FUNNY!<br />
Fire Call<br />
Caller: There’s a house on fire!<br />
Operator: Where is it?<br />
Caller: In John Smith Street<br />
Operator: What’s the address?<br />
Caller: I don’t know, but it’s the only house in the<br />
street that’s on fire!<br />
(John Arnold Persaud)<br />
..............................................................................................<br />
The Last Meal<br />
Three prisoners are waiting to be executed and<br />
they are asked what they wish to have for their<br />
last meal.<br />
The Trini responds, “A chicken Roti.” The warden<br />
serves him his Roti, and then escorts him to<br />
his execution.<br />
The Jamaican requests Jerk Pork. The warden<br />
serves him his Jerk Pork, and then escorts him<br />
to his execution.<br />
The Guyanese requests a bag of plums. The<br />
warden asks: “plums???”<br />
“Yes,plums” says the Guyanese.<br />
The warden replies, “but them outa season!”<br />
“So?” replies the Guyanese. “Ah gon wait...”<br />
...........................................................................<br />
Q: What did the duck say when he bought<br />
lipstick?<br />
A: “Put it on my bill.”<br />
Q: Why did President Obama get two terms?<br />
A: Because every black man gets a longer<br />
sentence.<br />
............................................................................<br />
Q: What’s the difference between a guitar and a<br />
fish?<br />
A: You can tune a guitar, but you can’t tuna fish.<br />
............................................................................<br />
Yo mama is so fat China uses her to block the<br />
internet.<br />
.............................................................................<br />
Boss: Where were you born?<br />
Santa : India ..<br />
Boss: which part?<br />
Santa : What ‘which part’? Whole body was born<br />
in India .<br />
......................................................................<br />
I’ve given up social media for the New Year and<br />
am trying to make friends outside Facebook<br />
while applying the same principles. Every day,<br />
I walk down the street and tell passersby what<br />
I’ve eaten, how I feel, what I did the night before,<br />
and what I will do tomorrow. Then I give them<br />
pictures of my family, my dog, and me gardening.<br />
I also listen to their conversations and tell<br />
them I love them. And it works. I already have<br />
three people following me—two police officers<br />
and a psychiatrist.<br />
Submitted by Nancy L. Clark, Points, West<br />
Virginia and Quoted in Readers Digest<br />
............................................................................<br />
Did you hear about the two guys that stole a<br />
calendar? They each got six months!<br />
...........................................................................
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