Newman - University of Melbourne

34 NEWMAN
Foreword.
"Taboo" has been in the past, and forever
will be, a bone of contention, in so far as
it fails to report accurately, or in toto, the
quips, bright sayings, puns, or faux pas of
those whose names appear in its pages. No
doubt a certain satisfaction will fill the
hearts of some, when they appear in print,
others will be disappointed because they
have not appeared, and a scattered few will
not be at all delighted. We have not tried
to discriminate, but in so far as Taboo fails
to meet with your approval, we offer you
this apologia. We hope, however, that you
will find much in these pages to interest
you. The witticisms and pearls of wisdom
which drop from the mouths of our alumni
form the very life blood of this compilation.
May they ever flourish to gladden the
hearts of readers for years to come, for to
strangle them would be to "kill the goose
that laid the golden egg."
Austin : "We were riding over the weekend."
Ping: "What ! Austin, are the M.U.R.
mounted?"
*
* *
Drew (walking towards unattended
Jockey Scales) : "I think I'll weigh myself."
Ras : "You'll have to write your own
ticket."
* * *
Bill H.: "Last year, when I worked like
a Trojan, they thought I was nuts, and now
when I go for de goils in a big way, they
still think I'm nuts."
* * *
Jim P.: "Ray's knowledge of music is
b— awful. I taught him all he knows."
* *
Res Ipso Loquitur.
We are told that John R., hearing that
Lord Campbell's Act was reproduced in our
Wrongs Act, searched the Crimes Act from
cover to cover, but failed to find it.
Taboo
Chas. (before Intercollegiate tennis) :
"How do you feel, John?"
John G.: "I felt rotten when I got up, but
now I feel just like Fred Perry resting
before a provincial tournament."
* * *
Joe Gargan is still trying to convince us
that there was a full moon on Saturday,
4th September.
A DROP.
He hung, he swung,
He gripped, he slipped,
He fell, 0 hell,
He lay quite grey,
No movement did he make.
A hush, a rush,
A pall on all
He cast, 0 blast
He's quite all right,
He's just a blinken fake.
* * *
Cliché Contest.
Jerry: "What's happening to the fate of
Europe ?"
Chorus : "It's hanging in the balance."
Russ.: "How many stitches does one in
time save? * * *
Pard : "Seeing that Ted Entree was the
secretary for the Sports Dinner seems to
explain the kromeskis ecossais on the
menu."
* * *
General Meeting.
Fay. : "I tell you the coffee is 99 per
cent. water and 5 per cent. coffee."
(Not to mention the milk.—Ed.).
* * *
Austin : "Young men, are you dropconscious?"
* * *
Non Sequitur.
Peter N.: "You should have seen Big
Chief Little Wolf."
Pat C.: "Is he an American Indian."
Peter : "No, he's fair dinkum."