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Where Were You Before the Tree of Life? - Horus Centre

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abandoned here, ‘marooned’ if you will. She was here all alone, in great pain--so great a pain<br />

that She almost died, starved <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> very essence <strong>of</strong> Her Being, <strong>the</strong> Light she needed to exist.<br />

She was in fact so weak that She could barely rise to lift Herself <strong>of</strong>f <strong>the</strong> planet and make Her way<br />

home.<br />

Can a spiritual essence die? No. But it can be so starved or drained <strong>of</strong> its natural Light as to<br />

where what should be a roaring flame <strong>of</strong> Light, is hardly more than a flicker, a spark, a pilot light,<br />

barely holding on to its existence.<br />

To appreciate <strong>the</strong> division that caused this whole event, we must take a look at what was<br />

going on inside Enjliou right before this happened. Here, Enjliou explains His feelings leading up<br />

to <strong>the</strong> time when Callia was cast <strong>of</strong>f from Himself and wandered into <strong>the</strong> Void. Again, this is from<br />

Ceanne DeRohan:<br />

“. . . Her fear was relieved when I appeared not to notice her, but this did not satisfy Her<br />

because She had a desire to be accepted exactly as She was and loved.<br />

“. . . I had no way <strong>of</strong> knowing, without having My Will go outside <strong>of</strong> Me, what it was like to be<br />

without light or love present. I had to push My Will outside <strong>of</strong> me and have her feel what it was<br />

like to be Lost Will in space.<br />

“I had to push My Will outside <strong>of</strong> Me on a wave <strong>of</strong> hate; o<strong>the</strong>rwise <strong>the</strong>re would have been<br />

some light and love present to sustain Her, and She would not have had <strong>the</strong> experience We<br />

needed. I did not know how this would feel to Her, and when I did feel it, <strong>the</strong> feeling was so<br />

terrible, I had to disconnect from Her. She had to receive this denial in order to have <strong>the</strong><br />

experience We needed, and in <strong>the</strong> passionate fury I had worked Myself into it order to hate Her, I<br />

thought I did not care what She had to experience.<br />

“. . . I did not know that to Her, loving Her meant accepting her as She was and helping Her<br />

to go through Her fear first. I thought I had not had time for Her fear. I thought We would never<br />

move if Her fear were allowed to get <strong>the</strong> upper hand.<br />

“She was already holding back out <strong>of</strong> fear anyway, so I finally got <strong>the</strong> impression from her<br />

that I needed to help Her with Her fear. How? Most <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> time I felt like I didn’t have fear, only<br />

anger at Her for having fear. Whenever I allowed My anger, Her fear seemed to worsen.<br />

“. . . I have guilt now that I had so little faith in Myself, but <strong>the</strong>n I had all <strong>the</strong> feelings that<br />

humans have now about getting to have a mate and a relationship and no longer having to be<br />

alone. I had great desire not to make a mess <strong>of</strong> it anymore, and I gave this desire <strong>the</strong> place <strong>of</strong><br />

uppermost importance with Myself. In advance <strong>of</strong> experiencing <strong>the</strong> Will in Her now emerged<br />

state, I judged everything I had thought to be a problem now. I judged all <strong>of</strong> that behaviour to be<br />

unloving and literally shoved it aside.<br />

“When I had done this, I looked toward <strong>the</strong> Will in expectation <strong>of</strong> having Her love Me for it. I<br />

found beside Me a huge golden light that encircled Me in Her arms and I took this as a sign,<br />

although I later found it was not a sign, for <strong>the</strong> Will had no love <strong>of</strong> My denials. At that time, I had<br />

desire to overlook this and She did also because We had had such a long and difficult time<br />

achieving enough balance that <strong>the</strong> Will even could emerge. We wanted to go on now, and We<br />

feared that looking at any problems might put Us right back where we had been.”<br />

Abusive relationships did not begin here on planet Earth, nor on any o<strong>the</strong>r planet for that<br />

matter. Instead, it is only an archetype handed down to us from <strong>the</strong> higher worlds, from Parents<br />

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