AFGHAN WOMEN - The University of Montana

MARRIAGE
In Afghanistan, marriage is of the utmost importance. Afghans say, “Without
marriage, life and faith are incomplete.” Therefore, there are few unmarried
people in Afghanistan. Parents are always trying to find suitable partners for
their sons and daughters. Marriage is traditionally a union of two families, rather
than of two individuals.
In Afghanistan there are many types of marriages including love marriages,
exchange marriages, forced marriages, arranged marriages, and child marriages.
The most common marriage is an arranged marriage in which the bride and
groom share the same ethnicity, social class and level of reputation.
In Afghanistan, marriage starts with the boy’s family going to the girl’s family
to ask for her hand. Then the boy’s family visits the girl’s family from time to
time. Sometimes, the girl’s family does not give an answer right away to the boy’s
family because a quick answer implies that the girl’s family is eager to get rid of
her. If the boy’s family thinks that the girl’s family is eager to marry her off, the
boy’s family may think her worth less, and they too may value her less.
In many families, it is too much of a dishonor for the family if the girl says no.
Sometimes a girl’s own family will kill her if she dishonors the family by saying
no to an arranged marriage or if she tries to escape a forced marriage. In general,
however, most men can say no to the proposed bride, and men can have multiple
wives even over the objections of their first wives.
Afghan weddings are very costly in relation to a family’s income. In some
tribes, a wedding can last for seven days and nights and the groom’s family pays
all the expenses.
In cities, weddings are expensive since they take place in fancy hotels with
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