July_2012 - Compassionate Friends: Katy Chapter

Newsletter of the Katy, TX, Chapter
***JULY MEETING***
When: Tuesday, July 10, 2012 6:30 PM – Doors Open
7:00 PM—Meeting Begins
Where: Kingsland Baptist Church 20555 Kingsland Blvd,
Katy, TX 77450
John Burns Building, East side of church
Program: Setting Expectations for Grief Counseling, Scottie Holton, M.Ed., LPC
July 2012
Chapter Leaders Melinda and Glen Ginter (281) 492-1262
Newsletter Editor Annette Mennen Baldwin (281) 578-9118
Treasurer Lisa Leanard
When a child dies, at any age, the family suffers intense pain and may feel hopeless and isolated. The Compassionate
Friends provides highly personal comfort, hope, and support to every family experiencing the death of a son or a daughter,
a brother or a sister, or a grandchild, and helps others better assist the grieving family.
Directions:
From East of Fry Road (coming from Houston): Go west on I-10 to Fry Road. Turn left (south) on Fry Road. Turn right (west) on Kingsland
Blvd and travel 0.5 miles to Kingsland Baptist Church.
From West of Mason Road (coming from San Antonio): Go east on I-10 to Westgreen Blvd. Turn right (south) on Westgreen Blvd and
travel 0.6 miles to Kingsland Blvd. Turn left (east) on Kingsland Blvd and travel 0.5 miles to Kingsland Baptist Church.
Our Children Remembered
Birthdays
July 1974 38 Years Mario (Mijo) Escareno, Jr., son of Viola Escareno
July 1978 34 Years Elizabeth Anne Chamberlain, daughter of David & Colleen Chamberlain
July 1986 26 Years Alan William Thielmier, son of Bonnie & Gary Thielmier
July 1972 40 Years Blair Giles Benson, son of Fred & Sherry Benson
July 1975 37 Years Dawn Marie Wilson-Shafer, daughter of Robin Conner
July 1980 32 Years Christopher Charles Dunlap, son of Cindy & Lloyd Dunlap
July 2007 5 Years Juliete Eileen Oretega, daughter of Jennifer Oretega
July 1962 50 Years Lindsey Irene Gilbert Willhoit, daughter Re & E.J. Gilbert
July 1975 37 Years Julie Hopper, daughter of Bill and Ann Hopper
July 1991 21 Years Jacob Leen, son of Jason Leen
July 1991 21 Years Timothy Thomas Laufenberg, son of David & Carol Laufenberg
July 1981 31 Years Ashley Elizabeth Sutton, daughter of Patty Sutton
July 2005 7 Years Denise Maldonado, daughter of Lauren & Laurencio Maldonado
July 1998 14 Years William Andrew Sattler, son of Jinny Trout
July 1986 26 Years Zachary Wilson Morris, son of Michael & Lisa Morris
Anniversaries
July 2002 10 Years Michael Robert Harris, son of Jamie & Kathy Harris
July 2011 2 Years James Camden Sikes, grandson of Valerie Sikes
July 1992 20 Years Lindsey Irene Gilbert Willhoit, daughter of Re & E. J. Gilbert
July 2010 2 Years Jorge Alberto Serna, son of Martha & Alberto Serna
July 2008 4 Years Dawn Marie Wilson Shafer, daughter of Robin Conner
July 2005 7 Years Christopher Frederick Wilson, son of Robin Conner
July 2010 2 Years Juliete Eileen Oretega, daughter of Jennifer Oretega
July 2007 5 Years Dustin Elliot Schmidt, son of Erick & Linda Schmidt
July 1994 18 Years Steven Edward Gilmore, son of Ted & Terri Gilmore
July 2009 3 Years Harley Johaness Hammack, grandson of Susan Hammack, son of Rebeka Hammack
July 2010 2 Years Fernando Isaiah Macias, son of Yolanda & Fernando Macias
During your child’s birth month, you are invited to bring a special photograph or keepsake of your
Loved one to share with the group. If you are unable to attend the meeting during your loved one’s birth month,
please feel free to choose another month to share with us.

Page 2 June 2012
Loving Listeners…..Phone-A-Friend
TCF Katy has established a phone-a-friend list for parents who want to
talk with someone who shares a similar loss. If you would like to volunteer
to be a phone-a-friend, please contact Annette Baldwin.
Loss of an Adult Child…..Annette (281) 578-9118
Only Child…...Annette (281) 578-9118
Murdered Child….. Robin (281) 851-5425
Death of Teenage Child…….Joyce Dakin (281) 858-4551
Death from long term illness…...Karen (281) 398-0472
Support for Fathers……..Albert (832) 885-4741
Special Needs Child……. Volunteer needed
Suicide ...………..Rhonda (832) 282-7773
& Cathy (832)-746-1980
Katy TCF Volunteers
Welcome
We need not walk alone. We are The Compassionate Friends. We reach out to each
other with love, with understanding, and with hope. The children we mourn have died
at all ages and from many different causes, but our love for them unites us. Your pain becomes my pain, just as your hope
becomes my hope. We come together from all walks of life, from many different circumstances. We are a unique family because
we represent many races, creeds, and relationships. We are young, and we are old. Some of us are far along in our
grief, but others still feel a grief so fresh and so intensely painful that they feel helpless and see no hope. Some of us have
found our faith to be a source of strength, while some of us are struggling to find answers. Some of us are angry, filled with
guilt or in deep depression, while others radiate an inner peace. But whatever pain we bring to this gathering of The Compassionate
Friends, it is pain we will share, just as we share with each other our love for the children who have died. We are all
seeking and struggling to build a future for ourselves, but we are committed to building a future together. We reach out to
each other in love to share the pain as well as the joy, share the anger as well as the peace, share the faith as well as the
doubts, and help each other to grieve as well as to grow. We Need Not Walk Alone. We Are The Compassionate Friends.
~TCF Credo
In Memory of our Beloved Children
Memorials Given by: In Loving Memory of:
Welcome Cards to new members—Joyce Dakin
Cards for remembrances—Robin Larsen
Newsletter—Annette Mennen Baldwin amennenbaldwin@hotmail.com
E-mail to group-Annette Mennen Baldwin— tcfkaty.messages@gmail.com
Publicity & E-Mail correspondence—Annette Mennen Baldwin
Picture Buttons—Annette Baldwin
Contacting Newly Bereaved Parents—Joyce Dakin
Holiday & Craft Projects—Joyce Bode
Library— Jan Bigbee-Weesner
Web Site— Don Whitehill—VOLUNTEER NEEDED
Treasurer 2012—Lisa Leanard—lisaleanard@sbcglobal.net
Snacks—Barbara Braun—281 579-7258-jbraun1307@aol.com
Memorial Bench Maintenance—Delia Granado
Chapter Leaders—Melinda & Glen Ginter
We extend a warm welcome to all who attended their first meeting in June:
Christine Santos whose son, Andreas died in January 2012
Teresa Jennette whose daughter, Carrie Lynn Jennette, died in December, 2011
Glen and Melinda Ginter John Robert Ginter
Robin Conner Christopher & Dawn Wilson
Barbara Braun James M. Braun
Joyce Dakin Kelly Brianne Leasher
Jamie Lynn Leasher
Spencer’s Family Myron “Spencer” Kinley
Don & Terry Whitehill Mark Corder Whitehill
Thank you for your donation to The Compassionate Friends, Katy, TX Chapter
Our chapter is operated entirely by volunteers dedicated to furthering the work of TCF.
Your voluntary, tax deductible donations honor your loved one in a meaningful way by
enabling us to print and mail this Newsletter and meet other expenses involved in reaching
out to other grieving families. Donations along with the name of the person being honored
may be sent to:
Lisa Leanard
13814 Wheatbridge Drive
Houston, TX 77041
Snacks
Our snacks in June were brought
by Neela Sen. Our July snacks will
be brought by Robin Conner, Neela
Sen and Barbara Braun. If you would
like to bring
snacks for one of
our meetings, cont
a ct B a r bara
B r a u n @
jbraun1307@aol.
Join Our Chapter E-Mail List
Join our chapter e-mail list to receive
timely notices, writings, articles,
special information and more. During
the holiday season, we try to send
special thoughts and articles to our
group several times per week.
To join, send an email to tcfkaty.
messages@gmail.com If you
are already on this email
list, you need not send
your email unless it
has changed. We have
seen a few returns of obv
i o u s email changes.
Inner Loop Chapter Meeting
The Inner Loop TCF
Chapter holds meetings
the 3rd Tuesday of
each month at 7:00 pm
at The Meeks House,
4990 Caroline, Houston,
TX. Doors open at 6:30 pm. T h e
June meeting will be held on Tuesday,
June 17, 2012. For more information
contact Cathy Knapp at (713)
877-8626.
National TCF Contact
Information
TCF National Office
P.O. Box 3696
Oak Brook, IL 60522
Toll Free: (877) 969-0010
www.compassionatefriends.org

July 2012
What To Expect From Private Counseling:
Scottie Holton to Speak with our Group
Our July 10th meeting will include a special
guest speaker who will be discussing private
counseling and what bereaved parents should
expect from this effort. Scottie Holton, LPC, will
be providing information for our group regarding
the process of counseling, what to expect
and how to set goals for yourself in counseling.
Many of our members know Scottie, and our
group is comfortable with her gentle discussions of the many topics which
impact us on our grief journey.
We especially encourage newly bereaved parents to attend this meeting
in order to weigh this option on your grief journey.
Scottie will be available to answer questions after her presentation
which will last about 30 minutes. We will then adjourn to our small group
discussions.
Grief Work is Hard Work
When I first began my journey of grief following the death my only
child, Todd, I didn’t comprehend that I would have to take an active role in
what would come to be defined as “grief work.” All I knew was the pain,
the shock, the sorrow, the desire to go to sleep and never awaken. My
child was dead, and I had no desire to live.
As the months and then the years passed, I began to realize that I
was, albeit unconsciously, doing grief work. Once I realized I could not
walk this road alone, I became involved in our Compassionate Friends
Chapter. That was the beginning of my “grief work.” A few months later I
enrolled in a six week program for bereaved mothers. More grief work. I
have since attended seminars, retreats and workshops. From each effort I
gained something new, something insightful, something that eased my
burden just a bit, something that helped me to cope with this, the worst of
all losses.
I consumed books. Some were about grief; others were about life.
I watched movies, some about grief and some about life. I talked with
friends…..sometimes about grief and sometimes about life.
Along the way I found that if I reached out to others, I was, once
again, doing grief work. Grief work is healing work. It doesn’t dry my tears,
nor does it mend my broken heart. Instead, it allows me to accept that I
am in this place and living in this moment. That doesn’t sound like
much…..unless one has lost a child to death. Lost a child to death. What a
horrifying thought. Yet now I can say it to others, talk with others who are
raw and new in their grief and know that I have come to accept that my
son is gone from this plane. My grief work will continue until I die.
When we attend workshops, seminars, special presentations, Compassionate
Friends meetings, seek professional counseling and privately
contemplate the depth of our loss and changes in our lives, we are doing
grief work. Each of us travels this road differently, but we owe it
to ourselves to do our grief work. Not easy work, not fun work,
not immediately rewarding work, but this is work that a bereaved
parent must do. This journey is not about passivity.
We are active participants in the healing process.
Annette Mennen Baldwin
In memory of my son, Todd Mennen
TCF, Katy, TX
Summerwind
The one who owns this summer is not here,
Not here to know the tender summerwind,
Not here to share the glowing and the song.
The one owns this summer does not live,
Not live to touch the richness of this day,
This day in summer when you are alone.
Weep to the summerwind, weep and love again
The one you remember
Sascha Wagner
From The Poems of Sascha Wagner
Birthday Table
Page 3
If your child’s
birthday is in
July, please bring
a picture or memento
to our July
meeting to share
with the group.
In May and December
we ask that you bring your
child’s picture for the birthday table in
the month following the actual event.
We hold our balloon release in May
and our Annual Candle Lighting Ceremony
in December.
Special Small Group Meetings
For Parents Whose Child
Was Lost to Suicide
The Katy Chapter of TCF has a
unique program for parents whose children
died from suicide. All parents attend
the opening of our meeting each
month and then adjourn
to their own private
meeting for the
remainder of the meeting.
Death from suicide
usually requires additional
and unique group dynamics.
This program is offered only to parents
who have lost children to suicide.
Articles & Poems
For Our Newsletter
If you would like to submit a
poem, a writing or a brief article (no
more than 800-825 words) about your
child or your grief journey for publication
in our Katy Compassionate
Friends newsletter, e-mail your work
to Annette Mennen Baldwin at amennenbaldwin@hotmail.com.
We encourage
our members to share with us.
“If ever there comes a time when
we can’t be together, keep me in
your heart, I’ll stay there forever.”
~Winnie the Pooh
National TCF Contact
Information
TCF National Office
P.O. Box 3696
Oak Brook, IL 60522
Toll Free: (877) 969-0010
www.compassionatefriends.org
Printed in Loving
Memory Of
TTodd
M. Mennen
1967-2002

Page 4
Christopher’s Life Lessons
July is the month of my son's birthday. He told me one day he
was a “7-11 boy” because his birthday was July 11. I had never
thought about that until he mentioned it. That was the name of a
convenience store where he grew up. This July would be his 32nd
birthday. His departure has only been a year and 9 months, so this
time of the year is extremely hard for the family. We all miss him so
much. He was the entertainer of the family and was always making
us laugh. As he was growing up, Christopher was the "The Strong
Willed Child", just as described by the author James Dobson in his
book. He was very energetic, independent, and he did not like to be
told "NO". He kept his father and I on our toes and he had no fear of
anyone or anything, which carried on into his adult years.
After his Senior year of High School he enlisted in the Army and
served our country with courage and honor. He was determined to
be his best and do his best during his time of serving. He worked
hard and made the rank of Sergeant. He was stationed in Schofield
Barracks in Oahu, Hawaii where he stayed for 8 years. He loved the
tropical weather and all the activities the island offered.
While in the Army he started attending Chaminade University in
Honolulu. He picked up a few college classes. After he was discharged,
he became a full-time student. During one college semester
our adventurer decided to go with a group of 400 students on a 6
month cruise around the world. The students had classes while at
sea on a cruise ship, but also would stop at ports in countries around
the world. They would get off the ship and have a hands on learning
experience around that country. Christopher enjoyed this so much.
He videotaped the trip but the videos and camera were stolen shortly
after his death. My daughter was the only one who really got to see
and hear about these adventures. He lived his life to the fullest and
loved to explore and experience all the wonderful things life offered.
After his arrival home from this 6-month adventure, he realized
his need to have a closer walk with the Lord. He felt the Lord leading
him to go into the medical field and serve in third world countries.
We were so excited and happy for him. He decided to come back
from Hawaii to study on the medical school entrance exams, called
“MCATS” and apply for Medical School.
He was accepted at a few and chose to go
to the one close to where we lived in Illinois.
It seemed like the most cost effective
school to attend since he could live at
home and not have any bills except gasoline
to travel to and from school. My husband
and I were thrilled to have our son in
our home and in August of 2010 he started attending Chicago School
of Osteopathic Medicine. Christopher was so excited to be a part of
this school, but as time went on his studies became extremely hard.
He found himself with very little free time to socialize or have fun.
He was dedicated to studies.
In mid-September 2010, all the first year medical students had a
ceremony where they received their first White Coat. This was a special
ceremony to honor and show the students that they were on the
way to a professional career. Our son desired to be a doctor more
than anything, but the Lord had different plans for him. Our Heavenly
Father called Christopher home the next week after the ceremony.
We were crushed and deeply grieved. There is not a day that
goes by we don't think of him and miss him.
We have all learned so much from him by the way he lived his
life and how deeply he loved others and God's creation. His sister
took his computer home after his death and found a file called
“CHRISTOPHER'S LIFE LESSONS”. We put these in the newsletter
last July and my husband has dedicated 18 months writing a book on
them. Christopher has changed the way we live each day and the
way we love.
Cindy Dunlap
In memory of my son, Christopher Dunlap
“Deep grief sometimes is almost like a specific location, a coordinate
on a map of time. When you are standing in that forest of sorrow,
you cannot imagine that you could ever find your way to a better
place. But if someone can assure you that they themselves have
stood in that same place, and now have moved on, sometimes this
will bring hope”
― Elizabeth Gilbert,
Eat, Pray, Love
Compassionate
Friends
Webinars
July 2012
As bereaved parents, we know that
there are times when there are no words
to describe the depths of our pain and devastation.
Check the Compassionate Friends website
at www.compassionatefriends.org,
click on news and events, then search for
Webinars. Upcoming webinar events will
be listed; some dates will be listed. When
you see a webinar you in which you would
like to actively participate, just click and
register.
To view the archives of webinars presented
by The Compassionate Friends, go
to http://www.compassionatefriends.org/
News_Events/Special-Events/Webinars.
aspx
TCF E-Newsletter
An E-Newsletter is available through
the National TCF Organization. To subscribe,
go to TCF’s National Web site
home page (www.compassionatefriends.
org) and click on “Register for E-
Newsletter” link.
Resources Available to Our Members
Resources of all types are available to
our members. We include these in the
monthly newsletter and strongly recommend
that, in addition to Compassionate
Friends, newly bereaved parents avail
themselves of one or more of the many
retreats, programs, etc., that are available
in the Houston area.
If you know of a special resource,
please let Annette Baldwin know about it
so that it can be included in our monthly
newsletter. This information could be very
valuable to one or more of our members.
Summer Soon
Sunlight dancing in the branches
Of the birchtree at my door.
Meadow stretching, smug and lazy,
Darker, greener than before.
Wind as warm as hugging children
Clouds so round and very close—
And on one small grave there trembles
Lovingly an early rose.
Sascha Wagner
From The Poems of Sascha Wagner
“Every parent who loses a child finds a
way to laugh again. The timbre begins to
fade. The edge dulls. The hurt lessens.
Every love is carved from loss. Mine was.
Yours is. Your great-great-greatgrandchildren's
will be. But we learn to live
in that love.”
― Jonathan Safran Foer,
Everything is Illuminated

June 2012
MY BIRTHDAY GIRL
I remember the last time I saw you Dawn. It was a last minute decision
to fly to Missouri for the weekend to be with you. I know God
had something to do with that. You had just had surgery and you were
not feeling that well. It was like you were my little girl and you needed
your Mom. I remember helping you
wash and dry your beautiful long, dark
hair. It was a great weekend, we were
making plans for you to come back to
Katy in just a few months.
As was our tradition, every year on
Chris’ birthday and anniversary we
would drive to Brookwood Community
and pick something out for the garden.
The last time we were there you picked a beautiful angel statue. Now
it reminds me of you.
You were such a beautiful person Dawn, inside and out. You were
such a good friend to all who knew you. You were always leaving me
cards and little notes telling me how much you loved me. I hope you
know how proud I was of you Dawn. I wish you were here for you
birthday, but you will be with me in my heart as always.
I thank God that I was able to share your life for 33 years. I wish
it could have been longer, but God had other plans for you. He needed
another angel in heaven. I know you are looking after me from above
and perhaps right next to me at times. I love you my birthday girl and
miss you terribly. Happy 37th birthday Dawn.
Dear Compassionate Friends,
Written in Loving Memory of my daughter
Dawn Wilson-Shafer, 07/10/75
Robin Conner, TCF, Katy, TX
Isabella’s Legacy
I am writing to you to tell you about the most special joy and sorrow I
have ever experienced in my life. Most of you know that I had a beautiful
baby girl, Isabella Lin Ramirez, who was born on May 19, 2009. Sixteen
months later, Isabella passed away in the PICU at Texas Children’s Hospital
in Houston.
She was the first child for my husband and me, and she was absolutely
beautiful and perfect in every way. However, shortly after her
birth, we discovered that Isabella was very sick and was suffering from
high levels of ammonia and lactic acid. Although our baby girl underwent
many tests and surgeries, doctors were never able to diagnose Isabella’s
condition. The closest diagnosis they could give us was that Isabella suffered
from an undiagnosed genetic metabolic condition
stemming from affected mitochondria. We were told
from the beginning that Isabella’s condition was terminal,
and we never knew how long we would have her
with us. The sixteen months that we were blessed to
have Isabella in our lives was the most celebrated in
every way possible.
It has been a difficult year and half without her,
and I have and continue to battle with my grieving
process. As part of this process, I feel that I am now
ready to share Isabella’s story with you and celebrate
the joy she brought to our lives and the lives of so many she touched.
Although you cannot meet my daughter, I want you to know you have
met a little bit of her through me. My aspiration is to continue to carry on
her loving memory through the United Mitochondrial Disease Foundation.
We hope to raise $10,000 over the next 3 year before May 19, 2015.
In May of 2015, our funds will be presented to the board of trustees, and
we will have the opportunity to choose the specific research program that
means the most to our family. We know that our goal is ambitious, but
we also know that with your help, anything is achievable.
If you care to donate to the Mitochondrial Disease Foundation, you
may visit the umdf.org website. Click on the icon “Give Today” and then
click the link “Donate to a Research Fund”. From there you should find
“The Isabella Lin Ramirez” Research Fund. The link includes Isabella’s
story along with her pictures.
Although Isabella’s time with us was brief, her memory will live on
through the support of a wonderful cause that helps medical professionals
find important answers and further treatment options for children and
families affected by mitochondrial disorders. Thank you for all of your
compassion and support.
Natalie, Michael and Isabella Ramirez
natlo324@hotmail.com
TCF, Katy, TX
Page 5
Dove Release For
Compassionate Friends
At Houston West Chapter July 9
If you would like to attend a gentle
ceremonial Dove Release to honor your
child, plan now to participate in the Houston
West TCF Chapter’s Dove Release.
The July meeting is dedicated to the
dove release and the sweetness of the
symbolism of this event. We do this near
the church where we meet. Each parent
gets an opportunity to gently touch one
dove before all the doves are released.
When released, the doves soar into the
heavens, flying in a pattern across the evening
sky until they disappear on the horizon.
Afterwards, we gather for a light potluck
meal and plenty of relaxed conversation.
There is no formal meeting…..just
the companionship of others who share
our loss. Parents are encouraged to
invite family members and friends to
participate in this most touching of
events.
Please bring one item of food (fried
chicken, fruit or meat tray, vegetable tray,
cookies, dessert, salad, dip & chips, etc) so
that a variety of food will be available to
each of us.
We hope each of you are able to join
us.
Monday, July 9, 2012
West Houston Church of Christ
17100 West Rd - Houston, Texas 77095
Phone (281) 856-0001
Meeting Begins: 6:30
Leave for Grounds: 6:45 PM
DOVE RELEASE & READING 7:00 PM
Special Readings Music:
"To Where You Are" by Josh Grobane
Return to Meeting Room
Share Refreshments, Snacks & Memories
For Additional Information, Contact
Albert Tapia 832-885-4741, albert.
tapia@gmail.com, Malena Lopez (281)
995-7747or Joyce Dakin (281) 858-4551
A Note to Our New Members
Attending your first Compassionate
Friends meeting can be a frightening experience.
Bereaved parents are vulnerable,
lost, heartbroken and fearful of the
unknown. Please remember, each of us
was in this same place not so long ago.
Bring a friend or your spouse for support
to your first few meetings. Someone
from our group will talk with you and sit
with you as well. We are here for
you…...the newly bereaved parent. We
suggest that you attend at least three
meetings before deciding
whether or not TCF will help you
on your grief journey. You need
not walk alone.

Page 6
Father’s Day With Robin’s Best Friend
This was a Father’s Day that was well worth remembering because
our beloved son’s good friend, Rafael Durado Texeira, that he
has known since seventh grade was back in town again! It is so nice
to realize that relationships can last a lifetime, especially if the right
chemistry is present. We moved from Naperville, Illinois to Katy,
Texas in the Fall of 1994. Robin and I had spent most of the year living
in our Spindletree House waiting for the sale to be finalized. The
winter had been long and difficult for the two of us. With Robin in the
wheelchair, we had been snowed in twice but for the help of our
neighbors, Dan Dangat and Bob Alico, things might have turned for the
worse for us. However, but for the grace of God, we survived and the
house eventually sold. So, on July 27 th , 1994, we were able to say
goodbye to our beloved Naperville and make the move to Houston.
Salil had been shuttling back and forth for most of the year, just coming
home for the weekends. Rob and I had been preparing for our departure
it seemed for ever. It was very exciting to see the moving
trucks all loaded up with our things and to wave goodbye to everybody
we had known for the last ten years following our move from Port
Huron, Michigan. We piled into the car and drove to Midway Airport
with a lot of butterflies in our stomach, and some anxiety over good
friends that we were leaving behind us.
When we traveled down to Houston during Spring Break, we
had toured Houston scouting out the best neighborhoods and school
districts. We had consulted Robin’s Principal at Maplebrook Elementary
School, Mr. Rayberg, regarding his recommendations for the best
school districts in the area, and he had told us that Katy ISD was excellent.
We were very pleased to find a lot in the Kelliwood Lakes subdivision
in a cul-de-sac and finally chose to build our new home on it.
It was in a perfect location right on the lake with nothing to block the
view and we selected a light pink brick. It turned out to be the fortuitous
choice and Robin’s room had a gorgeous vista. I spent happy
hours painting elephants on the border beneath the crown molding
and a rose motif in the Master Bedroom. The house was bright and
sunny, and a halcyon place for us to dwell in for the twelve contented
years that were to follow until Robin’s demise at the age of twenty
five. I truly regret nothing except for the terrible nature of our son’s
passing at Christus St. Catherine’s Hospital.
I recall vividly the occasion of meeting Rafael at Memorial
parkway Junior High that morning in late August. It was the first day
of school and I wheeled Robin in his manual into a large classroom. I
hurriedly grabbed the first person I found and told him to take care of
Robin, and that is exactly what he did! I did not even realize that he
hardly spoke any English and had just moved to Texas from Brazil. So,
begam a wonderful friendship that has endured for ever. Rafael has
kept in touch throughout the years and emailed us back and forth with
his news. Even though, Robin has passed away and been gone these
last five years, Rafael’s affection for his old friend as never abated, and
he has brought his fiancée, Anna Colograssi into our lives too. He
came for training in Chicagoland and spent the last weekend with us in
Houston, Just like old times.
Neela Sen
In memory of my son, Robin
TCF, Katy, TX
Summer Memories
July, 2012
Summertime is a happy time for most
people in this country: vacations, holidays, family
reunions, relaxed days at the pool, evenings
in the backyard talking with family and friends,
the smell of a fresh rain, the long days, the
cooling nights, fresh mown grass and flowers
that bloom profusely.
Despite Houston’s heat, summer has
become a treasured time for me. My son was a
child of summer. Born in May, he loved the
summer sun on his face and the wind in his hair
as he first rode a tricycle, then a bicycle, then
drove a car. Those were wonderful times for
him. The summer solstice was a favorite day for
us both. Since the summer solstice is the longest
day of the year, Todd particularly loved to
watch the sunrise and sunset. I found myself
doing that again this year. As I looked at the
sun directly overhead at noon (1:00 pm DST), I
made the comment that this is the one perfectly
balanced day of the year. Later as I watched a
beautiful solstice sunset, I remarked to my husband
about the light….the gorgeous light. I was
seeing Todd in that light. He was laughing,
chasing lightening bugs, running and spinning
and turning, filled with the joy of summer. He
was happy.
I listened to the neighbors’ children
playing, and I thought about all the wonderful
summer days I had spent with my son. I am
thankful that I had that time. I am thankful that
my son was a child of summer. He found much
joy in nature, in the outdoors, in activities that
took him out of the ordinary and into the sublime.
That’s how it is for bereaved parents.
We eventually come to a place where we realize
that our joyful memories have overtaken the
pain of the loss of our child to death. We
wouldn’t trade the time we shared with our children
for anything or any other experience. The
unique nature of the parent-child relationship is
so special, so deep, so life changing, that we
endure and even embrace the pain because we
had, for that time in our lives, a relationship of
pure love and pure joy with our child. Yes, we
miss them terribly. We weep silently into our
pillows at night. We light candles, take flowers
to the cemetery, wear their favorite colors,
treasure pictures of our children and keep them
forever in our hearts. This is a big part of life
for every bereaved parent.
Somehow, on the summer solstice, I
felt my child’s presence in the light of the day
and the beautiful rose color of the solstice sunset.
I could hear his voice, see his smile and
feel his emotions. Peace slips into our hearts in
extraordinary ways.
Annette Mennen Baldwin
In memory of my son, Todd Mennen
TCF, Katy, TX
Meeting: July 10, 2012
July, 2012
Setting Expectations
For Private Counseling
The Compassionate Friends
Katy Chapter
P.O. Box 45
Barker, TX 77413