George Tabori : The Cannibals - sebastian sommer

George Tabori : The Cannibals
Scene 1 (Scene 7 - Waiting (108-113))
HELTAI It's eleven-thirty and twelve seconds. And let me assure
you there are shadows outside, all over the compound,
lying down, flat on their faces. Shadows from huts, from
the watchtower, from the high-voltage fence – now there's
a pretty shadow for you! – from the wheelbarrows piled
with bodies. I think, I'm not sure, the sky is still there,
streaked with smoke. Who is in the smoke today? Let us
give thanks for being indoors.
THE GYPSY How you talk.
[Goes for HELTAI'S throat.]
How long will it take?
WEISS Don't rush me.
HIRSCHLER He was only asking.
WEISS A decent meal takes time.
THE GYPSY All right, but how much time?
WEISS Time.
THE GYPSY One hour? Two hours?
WEISS If you don't stop nagging me, I'll quit.
LANG No offence meant, Mr. Weiss.
HELTAI No one wants you to quit, Mr. Weiss.
THE GYPSY I've asked you a question, you might as well answer it.
HIRSCHLER I must say. I've been to some of the finest restaurants in
Europe, but I never had to wait this long for anything, not
even a soufflé.
THE GYPSY What was that you just said?
HIRSCHLER Soufflé.
THE GYPSY What kind of Soufflé?
HIRSCHLER I don't remember.
THE GYPSY [Strangling him] Remember, you bastard!
HIRSCHLER I think it was a cheese soufflé.
ALL [Whispering] Soufflé … soufflé … soufflé …
HIRSCHLER PEACHES!
[A silence.]
THE GYPSY Liverwurst!
WEISS Muffins! Toasted English muffins!
[They giggle in delight.]
LANG [Cries out] Fettuccine con insalata verde!
[Ooohs! and Ahhs!]
WEISS Omelette, the prince of Denmark!
[Laughter.]
LANG [Playing with himself] With what?
WEISS Mushrooms!
LANG Oh God!
WEISS And garlic toast!
LANG Call me Theo!
WEISS Green peppers!
George Tabori : The Cannibals (Toi Whakaari Workshop Adaptation | Harry Fuhrmann) 1

LANG I'm coming, I'm coming!
[Applause. The GYPSY jumps on top of the table.]
THE GYPSY Entertainment! Watch me! Watch the Notorious-Never-To-
Be-Solved-Liverwurst-Murder-Case! Jingle-jangle, forty
cents! I sold my yellow shoes this morning. I loved my
yellow shoes! So tight and bright they went Zzz-zzz.
[Struts about.] Zizzz-zizzz!
You could hear me for miles in the village!
And all the whores went Ooooh! and Aahh!
And “Here comes Laci Rácz the Fifteenth!
In this brand-new yellow kid-leather shoes!”
This is my knife. These are my naked feet.
And this is winter.
[Appoints HIRSCHLER.]
This is the snow.
[Appoints HELTAI.]
There is the cold wind.
[Appoints HAAS.]
This is the city of fat men.
[Appoints the audience.]
And there is the grocer.
[Appoints WEISS.]
There's the window, and here's the liverwurst.
[Appoints LANG.]
I stood outside for hours, looking at it.
Hello, liverwurst.
LANG I don't recall meeting you.
THE GYPSY You're beautiful.
LANG I don't converse with strangers.
THE GYPSY The wind was much louder.
HAAS Shshshshshshsh!
THE GYPSY Good evening, Mr. Grocer. Got any liverwurst?
WEISS No begging.
THE GYPSY I've got money. Jingle-jangle.
WEISS In that case I've got liverwurst.
THE GYPSY That's the way it goes.
WEISS That's the way it goes.
THE GYPSY Let me see the liverwurst.
WEISS Here you are, boy.
THE GYPSY It's beautiful.
WEISS You can say that again.
THE GYPSY How much?
WEISS One-fifty a pound.
THE GYPSY What's the matter, you want to die rich?
WEISS Listen, you're my first costumer today.
THE GYPSY How much for forty cents?
WEISS About this much.
THE GYPSY Please, Mr. Grocer, show it to me exact.
WEISS Don't worry, I'll cut you a nice piece for forty cents.
THE GYPSY I sold my yellow shoes this morning.
George Tabori : The Cannibals (Toi Whakaari Workshop Adaptation | Harry Fuhrmann) 2

WEISS Things are rough for everyone.
THE GYPSY Not everyone.
WEISS You talk nice and easy, boy, or I'll throw you out on your
ass.
THE GYPSY Watch it, Mr. Grocer, I've been walking up and down this
city for two days, and it's winter. Who lives here, tell me?
Stones? Now if you're going to be a stone, d'you know
what I do to stones? I carve my name in stones.
WEISS If you only have forty cents – [Brings HAAS forward.] buy a
piece of baloney.
THE GYPSY I ain't coming through to you, Mr. Grocer. I don't want to
play in the Royal Opera House. I don't want to fuck Betty
Grable. I neither want baloney. I want liverwurst. Usually
my head is full of interesting possibilities – flowers –
palaces – tropical storms – ladies with long red hair. But
these last two weeks it's got nothing in it except liverwurst.
WEISS Look, I'll cut you a nice piece, a piece like this for forty
cents.
THE GYPSY That all?
WEISS That all.
THE GYPSY No, Mr. Grocer, here is where you cut it.
WEISS You must be in a humorous mood.
THE GYPSY You know what it's like out there without shoes?
WEISS It's winter.
THE GYPSY The sparrows are dying.
WEISS Then eat sparrows.
[The GYPSY plunges his knife into WEISS several times.]
THE OTHERS Run! Run! - Murder! Robbery! Police! - It's getting late! -
Keep out of this! - Run! - Let him finish! Let him eat! Let
him have his liverwurst!
THE GYPSY [Carrying LANG] I was never caught! Vanished
mysteriously! Description in all the papers! Tall – black –
handsome – barefoot! – Hid in the freightyard with the
liverwurst! [Raises LANG as if he were the host.] Christ has
risen! Christ has risen! [Starts singing. Others join in. THE
GYPSY dumps LANG on the table.]
THE OTHERS Go on! Do it! Do it now!
THE GYPSY My head is usually full of interesting ideas. Flowers –
palaces – tropical storms – ladies with long red hair – but
that time I ate – I ate all night long.
[He pretends to eat LANG. The others watch him.]
HIRSCHLER My God, he eats talented.
HELTAI One of the most talented eaters I've ever seen!
[HAAS croaks.]
HIRSCHLER Give me a piece.
THE GYPSY No.
HIRSCHLER One small piece.
THE GYPSY Go away.
[The others start grabbing imaginary bits of the liverwurst. The GYPSY
tries to fend them off. They eat. They stop eating.]
George Tabori : The Cannibals (Toi Whakaari Workshop Adaptation | Harry Fuhrmann) 3

HELTAI It's not the same.
HIRSCHLER Something's missing.
THE GYPSY [In tears] It ain't what it used to be.
[Sadly, they start singing.]
ALL YES! We have no bananas.
We have no bananas today.
We've string beans and HON-ions,
Cab-BAH-ges and scallions
And all kinds of fruit, and say
We have an old fashioned to-MAH-to,
Long Island po-TAH-to,
But YES! We have no bananas.
We have no bananas today.
Yes we have no bananas,
We have no bananas today.
THE GYPSY [Steps forward, bows to the audience.] He was Laci Rácz
the Fifteenth, why, because there were fourteen other Laci
Ráczes. He played before all the crowned heads of
Europe. Titled ladies sat at his feet. He was a great artist:
when he did a glissando not a cunt remained dry. He didn't
know what he was doing among all those fucking Jews –
excuse me! – He didn't care what he ate as long as he ate.
George Tabori : The Cannibals (Toi Whakaari Workshop Adaptation | Harry Fuhrmann) 4

George Tabori : The Cannibals
Scene 2 (Scene 8 - The return of Uncle (114-115))
HELTAI [Rises suddenly, massaging his head] Milk!
THE GYSPY [Lets go of UNCLE] What, what, what?
HELTAI Milk. [Sits down again.]
HIRSCHLER What's that?
HELTAI I forgot.
[HAAS croaks, hits his breasts, mimes a hungry baby. The others
understand what he is doing and join in. HAAS shows a bottle, asks
LANG to lie down on the table like a baby. LANG lies down and starts
crying. HAAS mimes a young mother giving baby the bottle. LANG
pushes the bottle away, several times, cries. HAAS shows the
mother's naked breasts, sits down, takes LANG in his arms and
gives him the breast. LANG drinks, calms immediately. HAAS cradles
him softly, starts to hum croaky - a sleeping song. All the others
join in, hum and sing silently. LANG sucks his thumb, mimes the
sleeping baby. HAAS beds LANG tenderly on the table, fetches a
blanket, covers LANG up. Then he suddenly turns away, steps
forward.
HAAS [Bows to the audience] He was political. He didn't like to
be spat in the face. You could hit him, you could kick him,
but you couldn't spit in his face. Well, we all have our little
idiosyncrasies. They arrested him in the bus line 6 when
he was carrying 2 kilogram of flyers on him. They spat at
him. He spat back and they got twice as much spit in their
faces. They broke his arms and legs systematically, burnt
his testicles with a cheap cigar and smashed his larynx.
He loved to sing. He had a beautiful voice.
[Starts singing.]
La donna è mobile
Qual piuma al vento,
Muta d'accento – e di pensiero.
Sempre un amabile,
Leggiadro viso,
In pianto o in riso, - è menzognero.
[Croaks as if hit in the throat.]
George Tabori : The Cannibals (Toi Whakaari Workshop Adaptation | Harry Fuhrmann) 5