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CROW STATION - stone.esatclear.ie CROW STATION - stone.esatclear.ie

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Introduction to <strong>CROW</strong> <strong>STATION</strong><br />

<strong>CROW</strong> <strong>STATION</strong>, the third novel of THE KINGSWOOD BLACK BOOKS – the<br />

Richard Butler tetralogy, was a work that once started did not stop until six hundred<br />

and sixty six pages had been written. Then the flood of rel<strong>ie</strong>f was indistinguishable<br />

from a flood of gr<strong>ie</strong>f. <strong>CROW</strong> <strong>STATION</strong> is the biggest of the novels. It contains pages<br />

of pure dialogue and pages of pure philosophy. It would be more accessible without<br />

the philosophy – and you can easily strip it out – but it would be a lesser work for<br />

that. <strong>CROW</strong> <strong>STATION</strong> was a gift, is a gift, proof of the reality and power of artistic<br />

inspiration<br />

If you read it, read all of it. You won‘t be sorry.<br />

<strong>CROW</strong> <strong>STATION</strong>: a Summary.<br />

1985 is a cool wet summer. Dan White and his wife, Charlotte, have a new son, their<br />

first. Dan is using the summer vacation to prepare one of those obscure endowed<br />

Memorial Lectures that the older universit<strong>ie</strong>s have accrued over the centur<strong>ie</strong>s. He is<br />

also intrigued by his discovery that the Cold War is coming to Ireland in a big way,<br />

con trails up and down its east and west coasts indicating the kind of edgy<br />

manoeuvring that could easily slip out of control.<br />

But they are happy, excepting perhaps Charlotte‘s tendency to agonise over her son‘s<br />

impending loss of innocence. Then Charlotte‘s mother is killed in an apparently<br />

senseless motor accident and both their lives seem suddenly to change, a switch in<br />

levels, as it were, rather than in direction. Charlotte becomes a mother without a<br />

mother, a disturbing situation for her which presses her with the question of what she<br />

is, child or parent. Dan, for his part, remembers the demise of his own parents, but<br />

also acquires a research student with a disturbing take on gender politics and some<br />

unwelcome attention for his Cold War theory. Then both Dan and Charlotte discover<br />

that they do not know how to mourn, that they cannot comprehend death and its effect<br />

on them. So they counter death and a funeral with a birth and a pre-christening party,<br />

inviting the mourners to celebrate their son‘s birth.<br />

Richard Butler returns to Dublin to climb a mountain while awaiting his publisher‘s<br />

decision about his latest offering. He is drawn into the circle of a widow and her<br />

boisterous teenage daughters, an invitation to become a father without the discomfort<br />

of fathering. He is also drawn into the ménage about Dan and Charlotte. And as<br />

Richard ascends his mountain to encounter its resident spirit and answer its very<br />

pertinent question, Charlotte ascends to her bedroom to restore her mother while Dan<br />

finds himself drawn by his research into arcane thoughts that offer him a kind of<br />

salvation too.<br />

2

<strong>CROW</strong> <strong>STATION</strong><br />

PHILIP MATTHEWS<br />

© Philip Matthews 1986<br />

3

“Where are you going, Charon? To the Crows themselves?”<br />

“Of course, divine Dionysus. Where else would you be going? Get in now.”<br />

Aristophanes, The Frogs<br />

4

I<br />

5

is it, Dan?<br />

There. No. There. Near the bathing place. At Sorrento.<br />

Where? I can‘t see...<br />

It‘s black. Underwater... Ah. It‘s gone.<br />

What was it?<br />

Not a man.<br />

Why not a woman, Dan?<br />

No... A seal, I think. Nothing else that big in these waters.<br />

A seal? Here?<br />

Why not, Charley?<br />

Are you sure, Dan? A seal?<br />

Too big for a fish. Too fast for a man. Or a woman... I think it was a seal.<br />

A seal! Oh I‘m sorry I didn‘t see it.<br />

There wasn‘t much to see, Charley. It was diving when I saw it.<br />

Are you sure it was a seal?<br />

What else could it be?<br />

Perhaps a shadow on the water.<br />

No. There‘s no sun today. Too cloudy. It was some kind of creature.<br />

But a seal, Dan?<br />

Oh does it really matter, Charley?<br />

But you say you saw it, Dan!<br />

I saw something large, black, diving in the water. I... It‘s not important,<br />

Charley. It was gone in a flash... Let‘s walk on.<br />

But you saw it, Dan! You‘re always seeing things I don‘t notice.<br />

And you never bel<strong>ie</strong>ve me when I tell you, Charley.<br />

It was good of you to look after Brian, Alice.<br />

Ha. He was as good as gold, Dan. He slept the whole afternoon... It‘s good for<br />

you and Lotty to get out together for a while... Did you have a nice walk?<br />

The air was clear. But no sun...<br />

You both look the better for it, Dan. Especially Lotty.<br />

She still looks peaky...<br />

The birth was...<br />

Women today are not prepared for it. They don‘t realise what is involved...<br />

The prenatal course...<br />

Theory, theory, Dan. The reality is always different... Mother always said it<br />

wasn‘t natural...<br />

Of course it‘s natural, Alice...<br />

You can‘t know what it is like, Dan. You are a man... I was fifteen hours in<br />

labour with Lotty. The pain...<br />

But that‘s the way it is, Alice...<br />

That is not the point, Dan. The pain. The way one‘s body is distorted... That is<br />

not natural...<br />

You mean it‘s not dignif<strong>ie</strong>d, Alice...<br />

I‘m not talking about dignity, Dan. Leave that to clergymen and professors... I<br />

mean that a woman is taken over by a foreign mechanism. One‘s body swells. You<br />

6

lose concentration. Then at the end the woman is on her back, her legs open... Her<br />

insides are gaping... No man has to endure that, Dan...<br />

Perhaps analogically, Alice. A man...<br />

Not the body, Dan!... The body... Men don‘t know the vulnerability of the<br />

woman. She has no refuge...<br />

Oh it‘s not that bad, Alice. Women have been bearing children for...<br />

I‘m not talking about the nature of woman, Dan. We can do nothing about<br />

that... But the effect on the individual woman. That‘s the important thing. What sort<br />

of human being it makes her... Look, Dan. You are a nice, considerate man, and I am<br />

glad Lotty has you for a husband. But you cannot know what it is like to be a woman.<br />

A woman is like a circle that never closes. She wants to see herself as whole, but her<br />

body constantly betrays her...<br />

Is that why Charley cut her hair?<br />

What?<br />

Charley cut her hair when she came back from the nursing home. Why did she<br />

do that?<br />

Oh it will grow again, Dan. It‘s only a phase she is...<br />

No... She‘ll keep it short. She‘s said as much.<br />

Then... Perhaps...<br />

It was beautiful, Alice. It...<br />

Yes... Yes...<br />

... graced her. It...<br />

Oh yes, Dan. She was such a perfect child. Her hair was long and bright... Her<br />

father loved it so. He...<br />

It‘s some kind of punishment, Alice... I can‘t persuade her to let it grow again.<br />

I...<br />

The last thing Victor did was to stroke her hair... He... I think he thought she<br />

was an angel, Dan. When she sang...<br />

But why did she cut it, Alice? You‘re a woman. You tell me.<br />

Perhaps what they call postnatal depression, Dan. Perhaps she feels... well...<br />

sull<strong>ie</strong>d.<br />

It wasn‘t that bad, Alice. I was with her all the time. She was cheerful, even<br />

elated, afterwards... I was happy more for her than for myself... Now she‘s...<br />

Give her time to recover, Dan. Be pat<strong>ie</strong>nt... She‘ll pick up...<br />

Yes. But she worr<strong>ie</strong>s me... Alice, she seems to bel<strong>ie</strong>ve she‘s totally<br />

inadequate... I can‘t persuade her to change her...<br />

It‘s the mood... She‘ll get over it, Dan. We all do... I did...<br />

But you...<br />

Dan! Stop fretting... I‘m sorry... I‘m upset too. It‘s... it‘s... I felt blissful here<br />

alone with Brian. But now I remember the other thing... The strangeness, I mean...<br />

Dan, a mother always feels that a part of her is outside... It makes the world seem a<br />

very strange place... You don‘t know what I mean...<br />

Will you have some tea, Alice?<br />

No... No... I‘ll go now... I am going out this evening... Lotty is resting. She has<br />

fed Brian... I‘ll go now... Don‘t fret, Dan... Here. Give me a kiss... There... You are a<br />

sweet man in your own way. But don‘t fret so... You only add to the upset... Get on<br />

with your work... That paper or whatever it is... Concentrate on that... I‘ll go now...<br />

Goodbye...<br />

Goodbye, Alice. Thanks again for...<br />

Anytime, Dan. Just call me. Tell Lotty to ring me tomorrow... Bye... See you...<br />

7

Yes...<br />

1. Language does not ‗leak‘. (?)<br />

2. For us, language has no origins. A given language impl<strong>ie</strong>s a given world. As<br />

such, language is complete. Historical stud<strong>ie</strong>s of language are extensions of<br />

the here and now language world: history is always situated in the present.<br />

3. The question, ‗What is a horse?‘, is not a real question. Being able to ask it<br />

indicates the ability to use the word ‗horse‘, and impl<strong>ie</strong>s knowledge of ‗a‘<br />

meaning of it. But there is an exception here, perhaps: when the word is<br />

encountered for the first time in reading or conversation, say by a child. The<br />

answer here will be either (1) extremely general, so as to connect with the<br />

knowledge (language) the child already possesses – say ‗A horse is an<br />

animal.‘, or (2) to indicate an actual horse or show a picture of one. But while<br />

(1) is a kind of ‗translation‘, which is finally either circular or tautological, (2)<br />

would be finally inadequate, for a number of reasons.<br />

(A) While the child could grasp a sense of the meaning of the word, it is<br />

possible that it could forget this representation while not forgetting the word,<br />

or vice versa. Thus this empirical link is not integral to the use of the word.<br />

Admittedly, repeated relatings of the object or image to the word would fix the<br />

link. But the point is that a mere connection between a word and a<br />

representative object or image would not of itself enable the child to use the<br />

word. It would only be a useful referent which would save the child the<br />

trouble of carrying about with him the actual object or an image of it and<br />

which he could produce and indicate when he wished to make reference to<br />

‗horse‘.<br />

(B) In any case, an individual example of what ‗a horse‘ is could not<br />

exhaustively ‗mean‘ the word, for then how could it be used to refer to other<br />

objects or examples usually also called ‗horse‘? There is then an abstract idea<br />

of ‗horse‘ involved, an idea or type which the individual example or object is<br />

not in itself. Here for example an object serves merely to give an instance of<br />

what kind of object forms the referent of the idea. What happens then is that<br />

three apparently separate elements are brought together in a particular way: (1)<br />

a word, ‗horse‘; (2) an idea, ‗horse‘; and (3) an object sensuously perceived,<br />

named ‗horse‘. To the extent that (3) is dependent on (1), the significant<br />

element must be (1) or (2). But nowhere does the idea of ‗horse‘ appear<br />

independently of the word. Thus (1) and (2) are related; in fact, (2) is an<br />

abstraction from (1); an abstraction, moreover, which only appears upon<br />

reflection, which is induced by the awareness of the problem of the relation<br />

between the word and the object to which it is said to refer. It appears then that<br />

the word is self-referring in this sense: while some kind of perception of a<br />

referent, or, as the case may be, a translation of a word, is necessary in order to<br />

know what the word ‗means‘ in a practical way, some element is supersensuous,<br />

something like the word itself, which is crucially required and<br />

which cannot be reduced to sense perception. For the essence of the word does<br />

not l<strong>ie</strong> in the perception of its referent, but in its significance, which calls out<br />

for elucidation, while not being reduced to this elucidation, for the elucidation<br />

itself does not invest the word with significance. Significance, then, resides in<br />

the word as a kind of potentia, that is, it is ‗virtual‘.<br />

Now, this virtual significance is brought out when one realises that the<br />

8

proper question is not ‗What is a horse?‘, but ‗What is the horse?‘<br />

Have you finished for tonight?<br />

Yes. Just now.<br />

Good. I‘m hungry. It must have been the air today... Is this for the paper?<br />

I think so... But...<br />

You‘ve got a lot of notes... You‘re always so thorough... You were like that...<br />

This seems to be different, Charley. Each time I try to put down a sentence, it<br />

grows and grows... I don‘t know what it‘s leading to...<br />

That‘s why Professor Dodgeson asked you. You‘re interested in ideas... The<br />

lecture must be on the history of ideas...<br />

But I‘m not an historian, Charley... This is under the auspices of the History<br />

Department... Dodgeson knows I‘m not interested in...<br />

But he asked you, Dan. You should trust his judgement.<br />

It‘s not that simple, Charley. I don‘t like Dodgeson. You know that. And he<br />

knows it... He‘s playing one of his little political games again...<br />

But he left you free to choose the subject, Dan. You can write on what you<br />

like...<br />

Yes... yes... So it seems... But look, Charley. Think what that impl<strong>ie</strong>s. It‘s not<br />

just a question of subject matter. There‘s also the question of method... I‘m not a<br />

primary source fetishist. You know, obscure quotations and bibliographical references<br />

culled from the Old Library... That‘s what he expects... He wants a pedantic<br />

monograph on some obscure work or minor dissenter from the sixteenth or<br />

seventeenth century. He expects me to dig in the Old Library for that sort of junk...<br />

But it will be published, Dan. That‘s part of the conditions of the bequest...<br />

So what, Charley? That kind of thing is just not important.<br />

Oh. You should have gone to Cambridge, Dan. You would have been more in<br />

the centre of things there...<br />

Hhh!... It wouldn‘t have been much different there... It‘s not the place that<br />

counts, Charley... It‘s... it‘s...<br />

Don‘t get so intense, Dan. I‘m trying to help... I know this is demanding... You<br />

always get so worked up about...<br />

It‘s not that, Charley... Let‘s go and eat... The paper will sort itself out in time.<br />

They usually do... It‘s just that this time everything seems so open...<br />

What do you want to eat?<br />

I‘m not fussy... Whatever you want to cook... Do you want me to do it?<br />

No... I feel rested...<br />

Alice said you were asleep...<br />

I don‘t seem to be able to break this dreamy state... Each time I feed Brian all I<br />

want to do is sleep sleep... I‘m a milk factory now. First I was a baby factory, now<br />

I‘m a milk factory... My body has taken me over... I...<br />

Brian still bites you...<br />

How do you know? I...<br />

Your nipple. The right one... It‘s distended...<br />

The... uh... It‘s so sore... I‘ll get mastitis... Christine had to be treated...<br />

I‘ve told you... You don‘t have to breastfeed him... The substitute feeds are...<br />

It‘s only a fashion... Our mothers bel<strong>ie</strong>ved bottle feeding was health<strong>ie</strong>r...<br />

9

It was only because they wanted to keep their figures... To keep their husbands<br />

happy... But Brian bites like a... It‘s not just hunger, Dan. He does it all the time...<br />

You don‘t have to suffer it, Charley... You could do something about it... You<br />

come and make me feel guilty for...<br />

Oh no... Is that how it seems?.. Perhaps I should say nothing about it then.<br />

Keep it to... But you brought it up, Dan...<br />

I could see from the way you move that your breasts were hurting you... I<br />

don‘t like to see you suffer unnecessarily... It was bad enough towards the end of the<br />

pregnancy. That was unavoidable. But to endure this unnecessarily, Charley. That<br />

borders on masochism, you know.<br />

Masochism! You mean the poor woman punishing herself for her inadequacy.<br />

Because she lacks...<br />

No! I mean a wilful indulgence, Charley. Not a Freudian sense of lack... You<br />

mean it as a reproof for the pain of birth...<br />

Against you, you mean, do you, Dan?<br />

No! Not just against me... Against... against yourself as well... Against both of<br />

us... Against our... And also because it‘s a fashion to endure all this... this pregnancy,<br />

birth, feeding, cleaning... The whole chore... I‘ve heard you comparing notes on the<br />

phone... It‘s so inward turned, Charley. Do you know that?<br />

Masochism! Inward turned! What else, Dan?.. It‘s not a neurosis, if that is<br />

what you are implying... It‘s real, Dan. It‘s the single-most real thing in the world...<br />

Think about it, Dan... All human activity is geared towards that...<br />

Survival... Charley... That‘s just...<br />

Not evolution. Or the spec<strong>ie</strong>s, Dan... I mean sex, bondage, drudgery... And the<br />

whole Freudian thing. Oedipus and phalluses and the rest... It all comes down to<br />

birth... Think about it... It‘s real... Real...<br />

Real? But it‘s unavoidable... How can it be...<br />

Yes. Real... You don‘t know what I mean, Dan. You‘re not a woman... But it<br />

is real, real... Will you come and sit down... It‘s ready.<br />

Yes... No. Not tea. I‘m high enough... Juice... I‘ll get it...<br />

Do you see what I mean about it being real? I know I shouldn‘t use that<br />

word... But... How can I put it, Dan?.. It‘s there... The child is there now...<br />

Do you feel it negates... den<strong>ie</strong>s... or whatever... you? Is that what it is?<br />

Deny? You mean take the place of me? That would mean that I suffer so as to<br />

confirm my own reality... Is that what you think, Dan?<br />

No... no... I was only asking a question... It‘s because you emphasise the baby<br />

rather than yourself... Or you and the baby... you know... mother and child... like...<br />

Jesus?<br />

No... I wasn‘t being specific... Like... like the image, I suppose... In art and...<br />

yes... and in religion... The Madonna and child... Isis...<br />

But all that is from the outside, Dan...<br />

But those images are not for men... They‘re...<br />

They are! The child is a boy... Always... Mother and son. Never mother and<br />

daughter... No daughters, Dan... Only...<br />

Women are never children... Yes... And men are only boys with horns... Is that<br />

Shakespeare?<br />

I don‘t know... But... Mother had no sons, only a daughter... me... And...<br />

And?...<br />

She coddled daddy... She... The... No... That‘s off the mark... My point is that<br />

being a mother puts one inside the image, as it were... Do you see, Dan? Only the<br />

10

child...<br />

Son...<br />

Okay, son... The son is the reality... But I didn‘t mean that... You...<br />

I only asked if you felt negated... den<strong>ie</strong>d... If you found your reality in your<br />

child...<br />

No! I... Do you want some yoghurt? There‘s some... One... We must make...<br />

Sure... Whose turn is it?<br />

Yours, I think.<br />

I‘ll make it when we‘ve finished eating... But... Alice said...<br />

What did she say?.. I heard her talking to you... She seemed excited... She<br />

treats you like a son... She dotes...<br />

I‘m your husband, Charley... She bel<strong>ie</strong>ves she must keep me sweet...<br />

Ugh... Don‘t put it like that, Dan... She‘s not a fool just because... No... She<br />

does dote on you... She competes with me...<br />

Don‘t be silly... Charley... She‘s thirty years older than me...<br />

Well preserved... She looks after herself... She‘s kept her figure... Compared<br />

with me... What was she saying?<br />

Oh, different things... I can hardly remember... She...<br />

About me? She told you not to worry about me, didn‘t she?<br />

Were you listening?<br />

No... I fell asleep... Brian drains me...<br />

Yes. She told me not to fret about you... You...<br />

Did she tell you what to do instead?<br />

What? Did she? I think she was trying to help, Charley... She told me to<br />

concentrate on that paper.<br />

Ha. She‘s proud of you, Dan... A real intellectual in the family now... I...<br />

Someone she can talk to... She thinks you understand her...<br />

It sounds incestuous.<br />

No. Oedipal... What we said before... She... Oh she can‘t help it...<br />

But she‘s not lonely... There‘s Tom Spencer... And...<br />

You don‘t understand, Dan... I... She competes...<br />

It‘s harmless, Charley...<br />

Yes... But aggravating... She...<br />

It is harmless, I tell you... It‘s trivial...<br />

What else did she say?<br />

Oh... I can‘t remember... She said... She talked about the exper<strong>ie</strong>nce of<br />

motherhood...<br />

What did she say?.. Did she boast?.. Trying to prove that she...<br />

No... On the contrary... She said it was unnatural and demeaning... Yes...<br />

Unnatural? But she... You mean she put it down?<br />

No... Not put it down... She accepts motherhood... It‘s just that the exper<strong>ie</strong>nce<br />

is so...<br />

Why did she say that? I always thought she approved...<br />

She didn‘t say it... I mean... She said her own mother... your grandmother...<br />

had said it...<br />

Grandmother? Oh of course she did... She spent her life in Italy... The last of<br />

the high-living Richards... She... But why did mother say it anyway? Why did she<br />

take that attitude?.. She meant...<br />

No, Charley... She‘s worr<strong>ie</strong>d about you... You‘ve been so down since Brian<br />

was born...<br />

11

I have not! Is that how you see me? Postnatal depression and all that... Poor<br />

moping woman... Can‘t handle the exper<strong>ie</strong>nce... I...<br />

Oh stop it, Charley... No one is saying that... You...<br />

I told you... I‘m a milk factory... with sore nipples... Brian is cutting his teeth<br />

on me.<br />

Not yet... I mean he‘s only...<br />

I‘m joking, Dan... I... I feel so jaded all the time...<br />

Your hair... She... Alice...<br />

It‘s tid<strong>ie</strong>r as it is, Dan... I told you...<br />

Will you let it grow again?<br />

I don‘t know... I just... Oh I just don‘t care...<br />

Don‘t upset yourself, Charley... It‘s not that important... You do...<br />

The perfect angel with the long bright hair... Did she say that?<br />

How did you... You were listening...<br />

No, Dan. I know my mother... She wants me to remain a child... I remind her<br />

of... when I was young... and daddy... he...<br />

Yes... Okay... I understand... Charley... Brian‘s birth has changed so much, I<br />

suppose... I‘m beginning to relive my own childhood... It‘s like a new beginning...<br />

Yes. Every time... It‘s like starting again... But we are parents now, Dan. It<br />

can‘t be the same... It has to be different... Where are you going?<br />

Oh... I just feel...<br />

The Bible? You‘re not...<br />

No... It‘s something my grandfather in Waterford used to do... Not strictly<br />

the... no... very fundamentalist... It is supposed to be the Holy Book. He bel<strong>ie</strong>ved it<br />

had powers... I‘ll show you... But don‘t mock...<br />

I know... I‘ve heard of it... Divining... You‘re going to use it as an oracle... I<br />

didn‘t know you...<br />

Only at certain times, Charley... I did it when my parents were killed... When I<br />

feel... empty...<br />

Now? But why, Dan? Did I upset you?.. I didn‘t mean to... I should keep my<br />

moods to myself...<br />

Not you... Parenthood, Charley... The two of us... You and I, sweetheart...<br />

between us and Brian... Now... Close your eyes... Think of nothing... Now...<br />

Yes... Oh... Dan... Wel1? What is it?... Read it out... I‘m... I‘m tingling all<br />

over...<br />

Okay... This is the verse my finger indicated... And I have also given thee that<br />

which thou hast not asked, both riches and honour... so that there shall not be any<br />

among the kings like unto thee all thy days.<br />

And?.. Go on, Dan... Go on...<br />

But that‘s all, Charley... That‘s the verse I touched...<br />

I know. But read the next one.<br />

Okay... And if thou wilt walk in my ways, to keep my statutes and my<br />

commandments, as thy father David did walk, then I will lengthen thy days.<br />

David... King David... Who...<br />

Solomon... He prayed for understanding in a dream and...<br />

Read it all, Dan... Do... I‘m curious.<br />

But don‘t take it too much to heart, Charley... It‘s a kind of superstition...<br />

But your grandfather bel<strong>ie</strong>ved it, Dan...<br />

He was just a farmer, Charley... Very low church... You know the sort...<br />

Earnest...<br />

12

So what, Dan? If he was good... then... But read it... Read me the dream...<br />

Okay... It‘ll do no harm... Solomon asks God for understanding... Now... And<br />

the speech pleased the Lord, that Solomon had asked this thing. And God said unto<br />

him, Because thou hast asked this thing, and hast not asked for thyself long life,<br />

neither hast asked riches for thyself, nor hast asked the life of thine enem<strong>ie</strong>s, but hast<br />

asked for thyself understanding to discern judgment. Behold, I have done according to<br />

thy words, lo, I have given thee a wise and an understanding heart, so that there was<br />

none like thee before thee, neither after thee should any arise like unto thee. And I<br />

have also given thee that which thou hast not asked, both riches, and honours, so that<br />

there shall not be any among the kings like unto thee all thy days. And if thou wilt<br />

walk in my ways, to keep my statutes and my commandments, as thy father David did<br />

walk, then I will lengthen thy days.<br />

Beautiful... Dan... It‘s exciting... It‘s eer<strong>ie</strong>... understanding, wisdom... That‘s<br />

for you, Dan.<br />

But I indicated only one of those verses, Charley... About getting what was not<br />

asked for...<br />

Even so... Long life and riches...<br />

I didn‘t ask for anything... Except...<br />

What?<br />

Guidance...<br />

And...<br />

I don‘t know... At least I‘m not sure... It‘s very oblique...<br />

But it‘s weird, Dan... It‘s so relevant... and... yet... Yes... I see what you<br />

mean... If you don‘t think about it, it seems significant... If you do, then it seems<br />

enigmatic... I suppose oracles are like that... Like...<br />

Like another language... Yes... No... Meaning... yes... Point of v<strong>ie</strong>w...<br />

Ordinarily, the verses say something... Solomon‘s dream... But as an answer to<br />

another kind of enquiry, they... They‘re... Charley... They still seem meaningful...<br />

And... No... It wasn‘t serious...<br />

But you did say not to be playful... I concentrated, Dan, as you said I should...<br />

What did you ask for?<br />

Nothing, Dan... I empt<strong>ie</strong>d my mind... You told me to... But...<br />

Something persisted?<br />

Yes... I could not stop seeing Brian with his little mouth open and his shiny<br />

gums ready to bite me... I was...<br />

Long life and riches?<br />

What? Oh yes... Perhaps that... It‘s appropriate, isn‘t it?<br />

Mmm... You‘re taking it much more seriously than I expected... You asked...<br />

No... It was against my will... Honestly...<br />

Hey... It‘s alright, Charley... It‘s done now... Let‘s forget it.<br />

But...<br />

I‘ll make the yoghurt... Turn on the tele... Perhaps there‘s a film.<br />

No... I‘ll read... I‘ll...<br />

Let it go, sweetheart.<br />

I‘ll go to bed... I feel so... Oh...<br />

So soon... You slept this evening.<br />

I‘ve got to get up to feed Brian at three.<br />

Such a labour, Charley... You don‘t have to do all this...<br />

No! Don‘t... don‘t, Dan... I know... I don‘t have to do anything... But I‘m<br />

doing this.<br />

13

way.<br />

Yes... That‘s okay.<br />

Come up when you‘re ready... Dan. It‘s alright... Try to... I want to do it this<br />

Yes. Okay then... I‘ll... Goodnight, Charley.<br />

Goodnight, darling.<br />

It is possible for a child to learn how to use the word ‗horse‘ without<br />

ever seeing one. More generally, it is possible for anyone to learn how to use a<br />

language without having a reference-world at all. In fact, the proper use of<br />

language could not be ach<strong>ie</strong>ved by sensuous reference alone. No actual horse<br />

is both mare and stallion, roan and p<strong>ie</strong>bald, whereas these are attributes of the<br />

word ‗horse‘. Once again, ‗the horse‘ is at the centre of the use of the word<br />

‗horse‘. What is the status of ‗the horse‘? It cannot be represented, though its<br />

attributes could be listed (all of them?). It is virtual – but in what way?<br />

Of all users of language, it is the historian who perhaps most clearly<br />

demonstrates this point, that language can be used without a sensuous<br />

reference-world. (Historians rather than philosophers or theologians because<br />

the reference-worlds of the latter are abstract to begin with; only the historian<br />

presumes to use language to refer to actual worlds which by definition cannot<br />

be perceived.) Thus the worlds of the historian are virtual, though perhaps not<br />

precisely as meanings are virtual – yes – the historian‘s worlds are virtual by<br />

virtue of the fact that the essential meanings/references of words are virtual.<br />

Thus:<br />

1. historiography is linguistic<br />

2. historical worlds are ‗present‘ worlds, not ‗past‘ worlds – they are virtual<br />

worlds.<br />

Consider next: if some core of the word is virtual, does this mean that<br />

language itself is virtual? (Best way to analyse this is by examining the<br />

relations between words.)<br />

Dan?<br />

You‘re awake?<br />

Yes, I‘ve been dozing... Dreaming... Thinking.<br />

It‘s a strange state.<br />

Sh... You‘ll waken him... I... I feel I‘m everywhere... I think of things I<br />

couldn‘t describe... so tenuous... complicated... I...<br />

Hypnogogic I think they call it... It can be very sweet...<br />

But... The seal... Did you really see a seal today?<br />

Today?<br />

I keep thinking or dreaming of your seal... It goes down and down... It‘s black<br />

and shiny and sleek... It dives down all the time... I... I should be frightened... But...<br />

all I want is for it to get to the bottom... not to stop diving just... no... but to get to the<br />

bottom... Was there a seal, Dan?<br />

Oh... It wasn‘t a man... It dived too fast and too deep... Mmm... I told you<br />

that... Not a fish... Not a dolphin or a porpoise... Mmm... Not in these waters... It<br />

14

could only be a seal... Charley.<br />

Yes. I remember that. But... it might have been just a shadow... you know, a<br />

trick of light and shadow.<br />

There was no sun and the sea was calm... I was only trying to describe what I<br />

saw... If you had seen it for yourself.<br />

But, Dan... The trails... I‘ve seen them... But...<br />

Ah! Is that it? It‘s not what I see, then... It‘s what I say I see... Is that it?<br />

No... but... Dan... The seal is one thing... That‘s... If I had seen it I might have<br />

agreed... Anyway I like to think it was a seal... It stimulates my... well... this dream<br />

state... But the trails... Dan, you have absolutely no proof for that and... it‘s not<br />

trivial... You should be careful.<br />

I‘ve said nothing to anybody but you, Charley... I was trying to find a reason<br />

for them that day... That was the explanation I found... I know... it‘s monstrous. But...<br />

I don‘t know. It‘s the explanation that jumped into my mind... They don‘t make sense<br />

otherwise...<br />

But there‘s been nothing on the news... not even the bee bee cee... They‘d...<br />

Why, Charley? It goes on in the North Sea and the Atlantic all the time...<br />

Perhaps even in the Mediterranean... Goodness knows where else... Why not here?<br />

It‘s strategic...<br />

Perhaps you should make enquir<strong>ie</strong>s, Dan... You‘re in politics... Surely you<br />

know someone.<br />

Hhh! Politicians and political sc<strong>ie</strong>ntists live in separate universes in this<br />

country, Charley... No... I don‘t know...<br />

Not a politician... someone who could have access to knowledge – informal<br />

knowledge – you know – gossip... like.<br />

Yes. You‘re right... I‘ll try to think of someone...<br />

I wouldn‘t like you to... I mean if you were wrong... You could get obsessed<br />

with something like that... conspirac<strong>ie</strong>s... There‘s enough paranoia as it is here... you<br />

know... I‘d hate to see...<br />

I‘m not obsessed, Charley... You‘re the one who brought it up, not me... It was<br />

just a thought... because... The trails are unusual – too high. Yes... Ah...<br />

What is it?<br />

There is one thing... According to my... hypothesis... yes... on the western<br />

seaboard...<br />

What? What are you talking about?<br />

Do we know anyone in the West, Charley? Lives there or holidays?<br />

The West?<br />

Yes. Anywhere along the West coast... There must be someone.<br />

The Jacksons... Keith Jackson... His mother. The Williams place...<br />

Not Keith... He wouldn‘t catch on to it... No cop... No. Someone who would<br />

just do it...<br />

Sympathetic, you mean?<br />

Something like that... Oh, we‘ll sleep on it... There‘s no hurry... It won‘t make<br />

much difference anyway.<br />

Don‘t be fatalistic, Dan. That‘s not like you... If you‘re right... God... What if<br />

you were right, Dan?<br />

What if I were?<br />

You‘d have to tell someone... The papers... Give them your evidence...<br />

If I‘m right then everyone who‘s anyone already knows.<br />

But not to do anything about it, Dan?<br />

15

Perhaps they can‘t do anything...<br />

No... make them make it public... That can be done... public opinion... Find<br />

out what‘s going on...<br />

Everyone knows what‘s going on, Charley. It‘s not that... It‘s built in... a kind<br />

of boundary...<br />

But it‘s exposed here... They can‘t do anything...<br />

Hush... Not that isolated... Don‘t worry about that, Charley... There‘s always<br />

been something... There‘s always the enemy...<br />

Enemy? What do you mean, Dan? War? But...<br />

No. I‘m speaking generally... Like... Alice said today that a mother finds the<br />

outside world strange. Because part of her is out there. Separated from herself...<br />

Perhaps that‘s how you feel, Charley... And me... Brian is...<br />

Brian? He‘s asleep... Yes... Oh yes... I see now... Did mother really say that?<br />

How perceptive of her... I always thought she was stupid, Dan. Too loud... Playing her<br />

widow charms... But...<br />

She talks from her exper<strong>ie</strong>nce... She‘s not as educated as you. Is she?<br />

No... Her childhood was... They moved from place to place... I think she<br />

wanted to be like her mother...<br />

Well, she can make good sense of her exper<strong>ie</strong>nce...<br />

She tr<strong>ie</strong>d to be the soc<strong>ie</strong>ty girl... But the war... They had to come back... There<br />

wasn‘t much here... Sold<strong>ie</strong>rs and that... on leave. Daddy was in the navy... Always<br />

projecting herself... Daddy was qu<strong>ie</strong>ter... He... The difference, you see... He would<br />

have gone into business anyway...<br />

A romantic... The high life on mortgaged land... The Riv<strong>ie</strong>ra...<br />

No... Anne Purley is the same... Her father is only a...<br />

The last waves... Imitators... Self-conscious... It happens elsewhere now...<br />

Texas... Capital not land...<br />

But she could rise to the occasion, Dan... Style, I suppose... Like mother... I<br />

env<strong>ie</strong>d her... Remember... There was a group... Mike, Dermot and Alan from Law,<br />

Isabella and Tom, Anne...<br />

That was only one group, Charley. There were others. The theatrical group.<br />

The pub groups. Music. Rugby... Your academic group, around the Cliffords. And the<br />

med<strong>ie</strong>val group...<br />

They were different, Dan... They didn‘t have flair... Anyway your crowd was<br />

peculiar... Coffee shop intellectuals... All male too... Drinking part<strong>ie</strong>s... What is it?<br />

Got it! The very man... Tony...<br />

What? What are you talking about?<br />

The West... His family have a holiday place in... it‘s on the west coast<br />

anyway... I wonder if he still goes down there? He‘d do it, I know.<br />

Do what, Dan? What on earth are you talking about?<br />

Check for trails, Charley. Tony would do that without asking too many<br />

questions... I‘ll ask him.<br />

Are you serious? You hardly see him at all now... He may have changed...<br />

Settled down...<br />

No... I saw him last year. Remember? He is in the civil service... Hey... He<br />

might have heard something... He might have... You wouldn‘t know.<br />

L<strong>ie</strong> down... You‘ll waken him.<br />

Yes. Tony Hackett. I wonder what he‘ll make of it, Charley... He‘ll laugh...<br />

but it‘ll get to him. I know him...<br />

Hush, Dan...<br />

16

He‘s the very man, Charley. I‘ll tell him what to look for... They‘ll be offshore<br />

and high. North south... He‘ll know how to estimate...<br />

Dan, be careful what you tell him. Don‘t have him think you‘re mad... Better<br />

not to tell him too much... Just what to look for...<br />

Yes, yes. I know Tony well enough... It‘ll amuse him...<br />

But be careful. You‘re not students anymore... He may have changed. He‘s a<br />

civil servant. That will make him cautious.<br />

Perhaps, Charley. But he‘s still the best bet... I‘ll get good circumstantial<br />

evidence... Then...<br />

Let that wait, Dan... Go to sleep now... You have your paper. Remember...<br />

That‘s a more important problem... Go to sleep...<br />

Yes. You‘re right... Still, Charley. The prospect of doing something about it...<br />

it makes me feel clearer... Obviously it‘s been on my mind since then...<br />

Good night, Dan... I‘ve got to get up in three hours time...<br />

Of course, sweetheart...<br />

Kiss me, Dan...<br />

Yes...<br />

Uh...<br />

Sorry... Your breast... I forgot...<br />

It‘s alright... They‘re sensitive...<br />

And full... Charley...<br />

No, Dan... Not yet... Don‘t... I...<br />

On your side... I won‘t hurt you, sweetheart...<br />

Oh... Don‘t ... Uh ...<br />

Sweetheart... Sweetheart...<br />

Be careful... I haven‘t...<br />

I know... Now...<br />

Ah... Ah...<br />

Thanks, sweetheart... Hhh...<br />

Mm... Ah...<br />

See? So gentle... So... Hhh...<br />

Mm... I... Oh...<br />

Like cats, Charley... Ever see cats? Doesn‘t always have to be doggy.<br />

Hmm... Put it that way... uncoiling... That‘s it...<br />

That‘s what, sweetheart?<br />

I feel as though I‘m uncoiling... I‘d forgotten... Oh. Yes...<br />

Go to sleep now... It‘s alright now...<br />

Yes... Dan...<br />

Mm?<br />

The seal.<br />

What about it?<br />

I know why... why I felt frustrated about it... about not seeing it, I mean.<br />

Why?<br />

It seemed so compelling... Like a sign.<br />

A sign? You mean something divine?<br />

Oh no... Not that... Something you felt compelled to show me... Something<br />

profound... to explain some deep thing about... the birth... Brian... Oh... Do you<br />

17

understand that, Dan?<br />

Mmmm...<br />

Dan... Oh Dan... Oh... You‘re asleep...<br />

MONDAY<br />

Professor White... Professor...<br />

Oh... Hello... Miss Hungen... Is it time?<br />

Oh... Very nearly... It‘s... it‘s ten fifty... I was on my way to your office...<br />

Yes... So am I... We can walk there together, then... Mm?<br />

Uh... Sure... I... Professor... I have the... it‘s...<br />

So I see... Yes... Thanks.<br />

It‘s not what I... I mean... I‘d like to talk to you about it, Professor. I...<br />

Oh... You went to the trouble of typing it... Well... that helps... you know...<br />

Handwriting is very... can be idiosyncratic...<br />

It‘s very long, Professor... I really...<br />

Hold on... Mm... I did lock it... Will you hold this for a moment... No... Your<br />

paper... I want to get my keys... Ah... Now... Come in. I. Ah. Yes. Sit down. Yes...<br />

There. That‘s it... Now...<br />

I... Professor... I...<br />

Let me see... Yes... Thanks... Ah!... The problem of sexual gratification for<br />

natural man... This is...<br />

I want to explain that, Professor... I‘ve had such problems with... Really,<br />

though...<br />

Your paper... It will explain itself, surely, Miss... eh... Hungen... I...<br />

Yes, of course... Professor... But I...<br />

It‘s doctor, Miss Hungen. If you must... I‘m only a lecturer... It‘s different<br />

here, you see... But...<br />

Oh, I keep forgetting, Pr... Doctor White... In the States everyone in college is<br />

called professor...<br />

Like Germany... But in the British Isles a professorship is a distinct... eh...<br />

position... It‘s supposed to... well... Heads of Departments and a kind of token of...<br />

distinction...<br />

Oh, I am sorry! Really I am... But habit... I...<br />

Yes... flattering... But never mind...<br />

I am sorry, Doctor White! It is different... I...<br />

It‘s alright... Don‘t worry about it... Now... Your paper... sexual gratification...<br />

I can explain, Doctor White... Really... I know I said I‘d write on his idea of<br />

forcing people to be free but... That‘s right? Yes... But the State, Doctor White, it... it<br />

really takes the place of nature as ... Well, doesn‘t it?<br />

Interesting... But beware of pushing labels around... For Rousseau, it would<br />

seem... and also for some others... the loss of the natural is irreversible... Besides... he<br />

bel<strong>ie</strong>ved the State... as such... was superior to nature... But go on anyway.<br />

Okay... What I want to say is this, Doctor. It takes the place of nature in this<br />

18

way. It becomes the new point of... focal point... You see...<br />

Of authority... control... That? Morality.<br />

Yes. Oh. No. I thought – no... control, yes... in a sense... a kind of<br />

background... You see... conceptually, the concept of nature allows Rousseau to say<br />

things...<br />

Ah... I see now... You‘re speaking of Rousseau‘s use of the concepts of nature<br />

and the State... as organising terms... Is that right?<br />

Concepts? Yes... In a sense... But... Doctor... My point is this... I‘ll express it<br />

as best I can... Nothing else changes... I mean... Oh... Rousseau doesn‘t get to solve<br />

the main problem of natural man... Yes... relations... Oh yes... That‘s the problem of<br />

al<strong>ie</strong>nated soc<strong>ie</strong>ty he wants to solve... Law... That‘s authority... yes... the rule of law...<br />

But that‘s only relations between men... is that it? I mean...<br />

Sexual gratification?<br />

Oh yes... That‘s it, Professor... I‘m sorry... Doctor... Sexual relations are<br />

between men and women... oh I mean conventionally... for the sake of argument...<br />

Breeding? Children, that is.<br />

No... at least... no... that‘s secondary, Doctor... I mean... Don‘t you see?<br />

Rousseau sees man only in terms of inclinations... instincts... and their gratification...<br />

But he never discusses the problem of... Please... Yes. It‘s here in my paper... I‘ll<br />

read... Do you mind? Am I taking up too much of your time? I.. .<br />

No... No... That‘s alright... It‘s interesting... But take your time... It‘s<br />

interesting.<br />

Oh, thank you... I don‘t want to be a bore... But the whole concept... well... No<br />

one seems to have thought of it... Maybe...<br />

No... Read... Yes... .It might be eas<strong>ie</strong>r for you...<br />

Okay... Sure... But I hope... Well... Here goes... Just this paragraph... For<br />

Rousseau, man derives all his gratification from nature. It is this which permits man to<br />

live in isolation. But there is one instinct man cannot satisfy in this way, his sexual<br />

instinct. For this, he needs the co-operation of a woman. This means that sexually<br />

man cannot live in isolation... That‘s the introduction to my argument, Doctor White...<br />

You see, Doctor, the problem of relations already existed in nature... But Rousseau<br />

never discusses it... He... His attitude to woman impl<strong>ie</strong>d in that means...<br />

Yes?<br />

That women are not... well... human... Otherwise...<br />

Yes... I see... It‘s an interesting point... Yes... And?<br />

Well, Doctor White... He does not discuss it in his theory of law either... This<br />

means... that women... even in his State are not... any different... They are just natural<br />

objects... that man takes his gratification from her in the same way as he might take<br />

fruit from a tree... Doctor White... that‘s... I don‘t agree with that... Women are not<br />

just... that is...<br />

Yes, I agree... It‘s an interesting point, Miss Hungen... And this invalidates<br />

Rousseau‘s theory... Is that it?<br />

Huh? Doctor White, women have wills! They are not just natural objects...<br />

they can refuse... can choose... for their own gratification, I mean... Do you see?<br />

Yes... That‘s a good counter-argument... in the context... Well... I look forward<br />

to reading your paper, Miss... Hungen... It sounds as though...<br />

But what about men, Doctor? Rousseau... he wants to subject men to a new<br />

compulsion... Law... That‘s not freedom... Oh... Don‘t you see, Doctor White? That‘s<br />

not freedom...<br />

Yes... You have a strong argument... You should pursue it... I mean beyond<br />

19

this... your paper... But your thesis now...<br />

That‘s what I want to talk to you about, Doctor White... My paper...<br />

You do deal with Rousseau‘s notion... eh, concept... of forcing people to be<br />

free... don‘t you?<br />

Yes... yes, of course... But... sex... I mean, Doctor White... What can I do? I...<br />

You seem to have done well enough, Miss Hungen... Let me... I‘ll certainly<br />

read your paper... Then we can discuss the next step...<br />

Please... I seem to be losing track... you know... I meant to write about...<br />

well... the subject... but...<br />

Our system is different. Isn‘t that so? You seem to receive constant<br />

supervision in America... Your graduate schools are... well... teaching remains<br />

important... Here the level of supervision var<strong>ie</strong>s... But the student is expected to learn<br />

for himself... and herself, of course... You know, research...<br />

Yes, I understand that, Doctor White... But...<br />

The student chooses the subject of his thesis... The supervisor merely<br />

sanctions it from a... an academic perspective... to avoid duplicating previous<br />

research, you see...<br />

Yes, I understand... But the scale, Doctor White...<br />

Heavens, Miss... eh... it‘s only a Master‘s... you know... You know... survey<br />

the arguments... general conclusions... And... well... you chose the topic of this paper<br />

yourself, you know...<br />

But it got so out of control, Doctor White... I... I...<br />

Well, let me read it, Miss Hungen... Then we‘ll discuss it... As you say, you do<br />

discuss the idea of forcing people to be free... We‘ll concentrate on that. But... but the<br />

other discussion... about sex... sexual gratification... is worth holding on to as well...<br />

Perhaps after... when you are finished here... you will follow that up... You know, it‘s<br />

a good feminist argument...<br />

Hey! I‘m not a feminist!... I‘m sorry, Doctor... But I don‘t want to appear like<br />

that... I‘m not a feminist... I mean, I found that argument... I wasn‘t looking for it...<br />

You know... but it did strike me that Rousseau... That he... discriminates... no... He‘s<br />

just plain wrong!... Doctor White... I mean... his whole theory is wrong... and...<br />

And you feel it threatens your thesis, is that is?<br />

No!... But... it does... doesn‘t it? There‘s no point in examining the rest of it if<br />

it is fundamentally wrong... but... that‘s no...<br />

Yes... that remains to be seen, doesn‘t it? No, your thesis is still possible...<br />

Let‘s see... Yes... Look, let me read your paper first... It might be that the<br />

contradiction... no... It‘s really an omission, isn‘t it? can be handled under the concept<br />

of natural relations... Yes. Note that if you wish... Natural relations... Perhaps you can<br />

prepare something on that... No... a short paper... about two thousand... six or seven<br />

pages... Like this... Mm... Find a general formulation of the problem... Start at the end,<br />

if necessary... you know... what kind of relations envisaged under law... Yes. Then<br />

al<strong>ie</strong>nated soc<strong>ie</strong>ty... That‘s it... then in nature... See what you come up with... But don‘t<br />

worry if your answer is tentative... Just see what is there... Do you follow?<br />

Oh yes.<br />

Good... It may not be relevant... Do bear that in mind... But it is as well to be<br />

sure... Now... Let me read this... Give me... How long will you need? For this work on<br />

relations.<br />

I don‘t know... It depends on...<br />

Well, let‘s say next week, same day, same time... A general survey... that‘s<br />

all... don‘t get... you know... get the general picture... Then we‘ll see.<br />

20

Thank you, Doctor White. I appreciate this... You don‘t know how...<br />

Yes, I know... unexplored territory... always seems vast... The thing is to know<br />

where you are going... Don‘t let yourself be sidetracked... Good... Well, I‘ll see you<br />

next Monday at eleven...<br />

Yes, yes... I‘ll... oh... the paper... Here... Oh... How clumsy... I...<br />

I‘ve got it... Please... No... You should...<br />

Goodbye, Doctor White... And thank you again... You are so helpful... You<br />

really are, Doctor... I‘m awfully grateful... I‘ll see you next Monday...<br />

Yes... Goodbye, Miss... eh...<br />

Hello.<br />

Mother.<br />

Lotty! Lotty, dear, how are you?<br />

Fine, mother. I‘m fine... How are you?<br />

Ha! Grand, grand... But it‘s so hard to get going this morning... Monday<br />

morning... I feel as though I have loads to do... But... perhaps that‘s habit... I mean...<br />

getting started again after the weekend... I used to make myself extra busy on Monday<br />

mornings... just so... It‘s a lovely morning. Have you been out?<br />

No, mother. Not yet... I... but it feels warm.<br />

Yes... The sun is splitting the trees... It‘s a pity it wasn‘t like this yesterday,<br />

dear... You and Dan need... You know you should get all the sun you can in the<br />

summer. The winter sun is practically useless... Someone told me that recently, Lotty.<br />

The winter sun here won‘t give you a tan. You could live in a hole in the ground and<br />

it would make no difference... But there‘s also something about vitamins... Do you<br />

know anything about that, Lotty?<br />

What about vitamins, mother... You‘re not getting into this d<strong>ie</strong>t and nutrition<br />

craze, are you? I mean...<br />

Oh no, Lotty... It‘s... He said we get vitamins from the sun... But how is that? I<br />

thought you had to eat something... Like cabbage... They say there is iron in<br />

cabbage...<br />

There are vitamins in all our food, mother... Don‘t worry... You have a good<br />

average d<strong>ie</strong>t. You get all the... what you need... Don‘t worry, mother...<br />

Oh, I‘m not worrying, Lotty... But everything seems so complicated... I like to<br />

eat what I like... No... Perhaps what I‘m used to... But he said that most of these things<br />

were useless if not dangerous... Fats, for instance. Do you know there are two kinds of<br />

fats, Lotty? They have long names, of course... But one of them can kill you. The<br />

other is... oh... it‘s not good for you... but...<br />

Oh, mother... The things you worry about...<br />

Worry? No, Lotty... I... Oh but my d<strong>ie</strong>t hasn‘t done me any harm... Fats... But I<br />

love the fat of a fr<strong>ie</strong>d lamb chop. I do... He‘d say that it was dangerous. But it hasn‘t<br />

done me any harm, Lotty... I mean...<br />

Of course not, mother. You‘d have to eat tons of fat and not exercise. But you<br />

are vigorous and active still... Oh... I mean... Mother, you just carry on as you are.<br />

You...<br />

Ah, that‘s it... It wasn‘t that... What struck me is that mother never let the sun<br />

at her... Do you know that, Lotty? Perhaps I told you before... She used to wear a<br />

veil... The Italian sun was so strong, Lotty... I was different... I was always tanned...<br />

21

But mother was a bit old-fashioned towards the end, really... Do you know... I‘ve just<br />

remembered... She used to leave the milk to settle. Then she‘d take the cream off...<br />

She used to say that it was bad for her skin... Ah yes. That‘s it. Her skin, Lotty... She<br />

used almond oil... Yes, Lotty... She said that the almond tree was nature‘s greatest gift<br />

to man... The flowers and... Oh, Lotty, it‘s funny that you are a mother now... I...<br />

well... it makes me remember so much... I feel as though I... How is Brian? He‘s so<br />

charming, do you know that, Lotty?<br />

Yes, mother... when he‘s asleep... Like all bab<strong>ie</strong>s... No... I‘m being facetious...<br />

He‘s in great form, mother... I think he has part of you... you know... He can be so<br />

vigorous...<br />

Me? That‘s nice, dear... But Dan... his father... he‘s always on the go... I<br />

mean...<br />

No... It‘s different. Dan is active. But he‘s steady... Brian is vigorous...<br />

You mean he‘s impulsive?<br />

Oh no, mother. Not impulsive... He knows what he wants... I suppose it‘s the<br />

way he goes after it...<br />

Am I like that, Lotty? No, seriously... I never thought of myself as ambitious...<br />

I don‘t think I had to be... You know... It‘s different with people who start off with<br />

nothing... They... oh... they have to strive for... I mean... so they can be themselves...<br />

Be themselves? Do you mean that ambitious people are inadequate, mother? I<br />

haven‘t thought of it like that... What about talent, mother? Is that an inadequacy?<br />

No. No, Lotty... I just thought of that... I hadn‘t thought about it before... But<br />

ambitious people always seem so... well... lacking in something essential. You know...<br />

well... it‘s hard to say... their pushiness... I mean... they can upset so much...<br />

But, mother... haven‘t people a right to... find themselves, as you say? I mean,<br />

children are like that anyway.<br />

You are so liberal, dear. But... I expect you can afford to be... But... you‘ve not<br />

been threatened... my generation, Lotty. I mean... Mussolini and Hitler. Yes. Hitler...<br />

They threatened... It was necessary to defend... to defend values like... freedom,<br />

Lotty...<br />

Of course, mother. I‘m not saying that was...<br />

Yes... I‘m a conservative, dear. A Tory... except well... conservatism is not the<br />

word in this country, I suppose... Bel<strong>ie</strong>ve me, Lotty. I‘m not against change. There are<br />

good things. The motor car. Medicine. In the home... I mean... But you can‘t allow<br />

change to get out of hand... That would be anarchy and... People want to hold on to<br />

the good things. Oh heavens, Lotty... What a conversation, dear... Monday morning...<br />

if I don‘t get going I... daydream... Really. I ought to...<br />

But it‘s interesting, mother... You don‘t often talk about politics and... well,<br />

what can be called values...<br />

It must be the influence of Dan, Lotty... I mean he doesn‘t go on about his<br />

work in that way... But the books and magazines one sees... They make one think...<br />

Do you read them, mother?<br />

Oh. Read them? No. Oh no, Lotty... I... They seem awfully complicated, you<br />

know... So many strange words... and... well... different from what we bel<strong>ie</strong>ved...<br />

Oh, I must tell Dan. I‘m sure he would like to talk to you about it... I mean...<br />

It‘s not that complicated... just new... Mother, even I don‘t understand it at times...<br />

You are right... So many new names and ideas.<br />

Yes, dear, that‘s it... But, Lotty... politics, you know... One has to be careful<br />

there...<br />

Careful, mother? But Dan is not a subversive... He has to read all those<br />

22

ooks... We voted for the present government. You approve of them, don‘t you? You<br />

said you did... Their programme is a fair one, given the situation.<br />

Yes, dear... I didn‘t mean voting and all that... One should vote... It‘s<br />

democratic... But I mean ideas... You know, Tom said Marx was connected with<br />

Communism... You see what I mean?<br />

Mother! Tom is a businessman. You‘d expect him to think like that.<br />

Oh, how do you mean, Lotty? Tom is a good businessman... He is... Why,<br />

don‘t you think Communism is the greatest threat to democracy and... well, values?<br />

Don‘t you, Lotty?<br />

Oh, mother! There‘s practically no communism here! It‘s not like France and<br />

Italy, you know.<br />

Not that, Lotty... I mean Russia... Tom says that President Reagan and<br />

Margaret Thatcher are right to be tough on the Russians... They protect our values...<br />

western values... Don‘t you agree with that, Lotty?<br />

I don‘t know, mother... that‘s extreme... I‘m not sure communism would make<br />

that much difference to my life... or yours.<br />

But don‘t you see, dear, they‘d make us do things we don‘t want to do... They<br />

might make you work... or have more children... And Tom... they‘d take his business<br />

away from him.<br />

But, mother, they‘d use his talent for... well... management... They‘d make<br />

him a manager... They wouldn‘t waste talents. That would be irrational, mother.<br />

But don‘t you see, dear, the Communists don‘t like... they hate the middle<br />

classes... They would punish us... can‘t you see that?<br />

Oh mother, what funny ideas you have this morning. Why would they punish<br />

us? You‘ve done nothing to be ashamed of. You... Neither have I or Dan... I mean, if<br />

it could make more people happy. Anyway, mother, there is no danger of that here.<br />

You know that. I mean – well – Roman Catholicism is very anti-communist... Their<br />

pr<strong>ie</strong>sts...<br />

Oh, that‘s all very well, Lotty, but the Russians could take over this country in<br />

a day... We have to depend on the British and the Americans to stop them... That‘s<br />

realistic... Do you see, dear? It‘s a question of power... Tom says that faith is no<br />

longer enough... There must be power... Like the atom bomb, I mean... Oh Lotty... it‘s<br />

such a funny morning... The things I‘m thinking of..<br />

But why shouldn‘t you think of them, mother? You have your own mind. Why<br />

shouldn‘t you think?<br />

But it‘s so depressing, dear. I‘m talking about the atom bomb now... Everyone<br />

is so afraid of being destroyed by it... What point is there in thinking about that,<br />

Lotty?<br />

But, mother, that‘s been around for years... I grew up thinking that.<br />

Did... Yes... Of course... Oh. I hadn‘t realised that... Yes... I remember now.<br />

You were only a girl and everyone thought there would be war... you know, atom<br />

bombs... I was so sad for you, dear... I mean... I thought you didn‘t know. I thought<br />

you would d<strong>ie</strong> without knowing how... oh... Lotty, I thought you were so innocent...<br />

you know... to d<strong>ie</strong> in that horrible way.<br />

Oh, mother... I didn‘t know that... But I do remember the Cuban missile<br />

crisis... We talked about it at school... Some of the girls were fascinated... Roberta<br />

Montgomery was absolutely morbid...<br />

I didn‘t know that, Lotty... You mean you discussed it with others and not with<br />

me? Why could you not talk to me, Lotty? I was so worr<strong>ie</strong>d for you.<br />

Oh, mother, there were a lot of things I didn‘t discuss with you then... Girls are<br />

23

like that... Weren‘t you?<br />

Me? No, Lotty... I had one childhood f<strong>ie</strong>nd... Camilla Legrenzi... She lived<br />

upstairs... We could never talk very well together... her language... But she was so<br />

sweet and...<br />

Anyway, we talked about lots of things that... well... we wouldn‘t discuss with<br />

our parents... Girls are like that... And boys.<br />

Oh... oh Lotty, I never knew that. I always thought you were so innocent and...<br />

unknowing... When you sang... you know... oh, you were like an angel... I used to fear<br />

for you because... of the things you didn‘t know... But Victor... your father... always<br />

said you would learn about them when you were old enough to bear them.<br />

What things, mother?<br />

What things? About life... about what went on in the world... That it wasn‘t<br />

what it appeared to be... when you said you wanted to study history... I was so<br />

worr<strong>ie</strong>d. You know, history is so unpleasant... I always thought that, Lotty. But Victor<br />

said it would give you a perspective... Did it, dear? Did it give you a perspective?<br />

Oh mother! What a way to put it. I liked history... It... yes... it does give a<br />

perspective... It explains the present... you know... why people go to war.<br />

Oh, I‘m glad, Lotty... That‘s what your father thought. I‘m glad he was right,<br />

Lotty... He had such judgement, you know, dear. So qu<strong>ie</strong>t, yet he could see into<br />

things... and people... Oh...<br />

Mother...<br />

It‘s alright, darling... I‘m fine... Really... Perhaps it‘s the kind of morning it<br />

is... It‘s so sweet and gentle... You really ought to go out... You should take Brian for<br />

a walk.<br />

I will... later... this afternoon...<br />

Lotty, it is nice that you are a mother now... Oh... The things I am saying this<br />

morning... Really... But I mean that, dear... I feel we are like sisters... yes, sisters<br />

now... Perhaps that‘s why I‘ve said all these things to you... You don‘t mind, Lotty,<br />

do you?<br />

No, mother. Of course not... I‘m sure I feel...<br />

Oh good. There‘s so much I want to tell you, Lotty. There are so many things<br />

in a woman‘s... mother‘s... life. Lotty, it‘s so profound... Do you know that? It really<br />

is... Yes... I told Dan yesterday that... well, a mother feels that part of her is out in the<br />

world... It makes the world seem strange... A woman has to learn so many new things<br />

about the world... Do you see that yet?<br />

Yes, Dan told me. He thought it was a profound thing to say.<br />

Dan told you? Does he tell you everything, dear?<br />

I don‘t know, mother... I think so...<br />

Yes... well... I think a man should know that, Lotty. They should understand a<br />

woman‘s anx<strong>ie</strong>ty.<br />

Anx<strong>ie</strong>ty? Mother, it‘s not that bad. It‘s...<br />

Oh, of course not, dear... But... Oh look... I ought to go now... You must have<br />

loads to do, dear... Come and see me later in the week. Won‘t you? Come in the<br />

afternoon and bring Brian... Goodbye now, dear... And don‘t worry... You are right, of<br />

course... But I do worry about you sometimes, Lotty. Well... ha... mothers... Goodbye,<br />

dear... Love to Dan and Brian.<br />

Mother! Oh... Goodbye... I...<br />

24

Frege distinguishes between thought and ‗idea‘: ‗We are not bearers of<br />

the thought, as we are bearers of our ideas... When we are thinking we do not<br />

create a thought, but we grasp it.‘<br />

But ‗thought‘ and ‗idea‘ are broadly synonymous. However, to the<br />

extent that speech is prior to thinking – thinking is private expression – what<br />

Frege says here would be better understood if analysed in terms of speech. An<br />

idea, then, is my peculiar way of communicating a content – the thought. An<br />

idea is thus my particular way of using language – syntax, etc, conditioned by<br />

social context as to relative formality etc. The thought is that which is<br />

transmitted by language used in this way.<br />

Frege equates ‗the thought‘ with ‗the objective‘. He says the objective<br />

is that which (1) does not require a bearer; (2) can be grasped by more than<br />

one human being and (3) is not merely actual or real (wirtlich).<br />

Obviously, ‗idea‘, as used by Frege, does not fulfil all these conditions,<br />

especially (1). But it does fulfil (2), definitionally as communication. (3)? Yes<br />

– it is only actual.<br />

‗Our ideas‘, therefore, are actual. They can be grasped by more than<br />

one human being – that is, they can be communicated. But they do require a<br />

bearer. Our expression/communication is actual, but not objective. It is<br />

intersubjective, but not objective.<br />

The use of language, then, requires a speaker and an aud<strong>ie</strong>nce. Even in<br />

the act of thinking this is the case – there I am both speaker and aud<strong>ie</strong>nce I<br />

communicate with myself.<br />

The use or articulation of language is intersubjective.<br />

Is language anything more than this? That is, in the present context,<br />

can language be objective in Frege‘s sense?<br />

Partment of the Envirnment.<br />

Hello.<br />

Yes? Department of the Envirnment.<br />

Ah... Yes... May I speak with Anthony Hackett... I‘m afraid I don‘t know his<br />

extension...<br />

Hold on... Ringing.<br />

Thank you.<br />

Yes? Hackett.<br />

Tony?<br />

Yes!... Yes?<br />

Tony, this is Dan White. I...<br />

Dan! How are you, Dan?<br />

I‘m well... How are you?<br />

Me? Fine, Dan... Fine... How are things? I haven‘t seen you in ages. Must be<br />

about a year... Sarah Burns‘ party. Remember?<br />

Indeed. The big Roche fellow falling down the stairs.<br />

Ha. Yes... Free drink. Using two hands... Ha... Think he hadn‘t a drink in ages.<br />

He‘s back doing research again. Camped in the Old Library as usual.<br />

Sandwiches and flask... You know he had some kind of breakdown the last time.<br />

Yes. Had a roomful of notes apparently. Couldn‘t make anything of them.<br />

25

Same as an undergraduate. All day every day. But it didn‘t show much in the way of<br />

results... How did he get back, Dan?<br />

Hanlon. Worked in a library somewhere for five years. But he kept in with<br />

Hanlon. He fixed a faculty grant for him. Now he‘s doing some more of Hanlon‘s<br />

research for him.<br />

Thought it was something like that. Well, that‘s one way of doing it.<br />

Yes.<br />

And Hanlon will fix him up with a post when he‘s finished?<br />

Doubt it. He‘s got Russell already. Anyway, College has closed up on new<br />

appointments. Government ban... Like yourselves.<br />

Ah... of course... How is Charley?<br />

She‘s fine. We had a child. A boy. About a month ago.<br />

Oh yes. I‘d heard she was... A boy. Congratulations.<br />

Thanks.<br />

No trouble?<br />

No. Everything went according to plan.<br />

Good. Good. I‘m glad, Dan... We must have a drink to celebrate. Bring<br />

Charley...<br />

Yes. We must do that... I‘ll speak to her about it... But lunch first, Tony.<br />

There‘s something I want to ask you.<br />

Sure... When?<br />

This week sometime. Say Wednesday.<br />

Wednesday? Yes. About one?<br />

Yes. That would be fine.<br />

Good. Look, Dan. I‘ll come up to your office. I haven‘t been in the new<br />

building yet.<br />

Yes. Do that. About one on Wednesday then.<br />

Right, Dan. Give my regards to Charley. And... What have you called him?<br />

Brian.<br />

And Brian... See you.<br />

Goodbye, Tony.<br />

How can one prove that ‗the thought‘ does not require a bearer?<br />

Frege: ‗When we are thinking we do not create a thought, but we grasp<br />

it... What I recognise as true I judge to be independent of my recognition of its<br />

truth.‘<br />

Two arguments here:<br />

(1) We do not create a thought, we grasp it.<br />

(2) The thought, as such, is true.<br />

Even allowing that (1) is the case, this does not show that the thought<br />

is not borne. In fact, it only refers to the local origination of the thought with<br />

reference (a) to the exper<strong>ie</strong>nce of a thinker at a given instance and (b) to a<br />

restricted argument, that it is grasped rather than created. (a) is a matter of<br />

psychological investigation and perhaps difficult to substantiate. (b) only says<br />

that the thought is received, that it does not originate in the individual thinker.<br />

What is not shown is that the thought is not being borne by some means (i.e.<br />

language in one medium or another) prior to reception by our thinker. In other<br />

26

words, Frege‘s argument does not show how the thought transcends<br />

intersubjectivity – that is, transcends being borne by some person, either<br />

immediately, in speech, or mediately, in writing or reported speech.<br />

If this is the case, then the distinction between ‗the thought‘ and ‗our<br />

ideas‘ collapses. It cannot be shown that such a distinction exists.<br />

With reference to (1b), then, it can be said that language is not<br />

objective, because there is no such thing as objectivity in Frege‘s sense.<br />

Language and thought are intersubjective. And no more.<br />

(2) superficially appears to be a tautology: the thought must be true<br />

because it is objective. But there are two arguments in the statement:<br />

(a) I recognise the true.<br />

(b) I judge that the true is independent of my recognition of its truth.<br />

Are these serial actions? Does judgement follow on recognition, either<br />

necessarily or contingently? It would seem so, for the judgement would not be<br />

possible without the prior recognition of the true, for judgement here is not<br />

concerned with evaluation. I do not decide that the true is true. I recognise it,<br />

obviously as something objective. Here judgement serves to inform me that<br />

the objective truth and my recognition of it – of the objective truth, not of the<br />

truth of the objective – are distinct.<br />

There is a distinction here, once again, as in the case of the distinction<br />

between ‗the thought‘ and ‗our ideas‘, a distinction between the objective and<br />

a mental event which is, by implication, not objective.<br />

Where (1), above, is concerned with the reception of the thought, (2) is<br />

concerned with the reception of the true. Again it is the question of the origination<br />

of, this time, the true that is being resolved. Now, (2a) does not show the<br />

objectivity of the true, because ‗recognition‘ functions with reference to the<br />

true much as ‗grasping‘ does with reference to the thought. However, it can be<br />

seen that the act of judgement is a step beyond either grasping the thought or<br />

recognising the true, for it is the source of the distinction between the true, per<br />

se, and my recognition of it. In other words, this statement concerning<br />

judgement underl<strong>ie</strong>s Frege‘s statement about the distinction between ‗the<br />

thought‘ and ‗our ideas‘.<br />

Thus, Frege‘s argument for objectivity is at bottom an argument<br />

concerning human judgement. Therefore, Frege‘s argument should run thus:<br />

(1) What I recognise as true I judge to be independent of my recognition of its<br />

truth.<br />

(2) (Therefore) we are not bearers of the thought, as we are bearers of our<br />

ideas.<br />

(3) When we are thinking we do not create a thought, but we grasp it.<br />

Rendered in this way, it becomes clear that the fundamental feature of<br />

what is external to the mind is the true, and the crucial mental act is the act of<br />

judgement.<br />

Thus the argument about objectivity becomes an argument about the<br />

true. It is a different argument. The case for objectivity turns on the assertion<br />

that the objective does not require a bearer, an assertion that cannot be proven,<br />

in so far as all thoughts are borne by some language media at the point of<br />

reception. But the argument for the true does not turn on a similar ‗reception‘<br />

event, for while recognition of the true is a ‗reception‘ event, it is not the<br />

burden of Frege‘s argument. Instead, the burden is located at a secondary point<br />

or level, where a judgement is made which distinguishes between the true, per<br />

27

But...<br />

se, and the recognition of the true.<br />

Examine now (i) the true, (ii) judgement.<br />

With regard to (ii) notice that this assertion is grounded, as (la) above<br />

is, in the exper<strong>ie</strong>nce of a thinker, that it is a psychological rather than a<br />

‗logical‘ argument. The problem of substantiation by reference to private<br />

exper<strong>ie</strong>nce will arise.<br />

Dan!<br />

Hello, sweetheart. Sorry I‘m so late. I...<br />

What time is it?<br />

About eight... I‘m not sure... I stayed on in College. I should have phoned you.<br />

Eight! Oh, I must have fallen asleep after feeding Brian... Have you eaten?<br />

No... I was working on the paper. I didn‘t realise it was so late... I...<br />

I‘ll make a salad. That won‘t take long... Brian has really disrupted our habits.<br />

I‘m glad you were asleep... You weren‘t worr<strong>ie</strong>d...<br />

Sleep! I seem to be sleeping all the time, Dan... And when I sleep I dream...<br />

Hmmm... Perhaps...<br />

I... What? Perhaps what, Dan?<br />

Oh, nothing... I... What do you dream of?<br />

I don‘t know... Wait. I‘m going to open a can. I want to add some pineapple.<br />

My mouth is so... My throat... the lower part... is always tight... As if I wanted to<br />

yawn... or. There. That machine is so noisy. Dan. Dan. Sit down.<br />

Yes. Oh... I should help...<br />

No. It‘s done... I prepared most of the things earl<strong>ie</strong>r... Dan... The seal... was it<br />

true? I mean what you told me on Sunday... yesterday...<br />

Hmmm...<br />

Sit down, Dan... Do...<br />

Was what true?<br />

The seal. Did you really see the seal?<br />

Oh that... I told you. It couldn‘t be anything else...<br />

But you‘re not sure, are you?<br />

Why have you brought it up? It‘s not important.<br />

It‘s strange... Since last night... after you told me... I‘ve been dreaming of that<br />

seal... Here. Take some of this ham...<br />

Thanks... What‘s strange about that?<br />

It‘s not that... It‘s this. Only now... I mean before I came down... I realised that<br />

I‘ve been dreaming the same dream ever since Brian was born...<br />

But it can‘t have been about the seal... I saw it only yesterday.<br />

Yes... No... Let me... I‘ll try to explain... I‘ve had the same dream for a month.<br />

But I wasn‘t aware of this until this evening. What made me aware of the dream is the<br />

fact that since yesterday I have been dreaming about the seal diving down into the<br />

sea... Can you see?<br />

The same dream? How can you be sure, Charley?<br />

Oh, I‘m sure, Dan. Call it intuition, if you like... When I woke up this evening<br />

I knew I had been dreaming the dream for weeks... It‘s almost as though it is the same<br />

dream... you know, continuous... and each time I sleep I enter the dream...<br />

28

But not the seal, Charley.<br />

Yes. That‘s true... But it is the same dream, Dan. I‘m sure of that...<br />

But you don‘t bel<strong>ie</strong>ve me about the seal, Charley. How can you say that you<br />

are now dreaming of something you don‘t bel<strong>ie</strong>ve existed?<br />

What? I... But you said you saw it. You‘ve just said again that you did... Are<br />

you saying now that you mislead me, Dan?<br />

No! Remember what I told you yesterday, Charley. I saw something in the sea<br />

which I deduced could only be a seal. That‘s not the same as saying that I definitely<br />

saw a seal... Can you see that?<br />

Of course I can...<br />

You are having a phantasy about a seal. What I said yesterday triggered it.<br />

That‘s all. It doesn‘t depend on whether I saw a seal or not. You see? It‘s not what I<br />

actually saw that counts, but what I said to you.<br />

It‘s not a phantasy, Dan. I‘m not deluded. It‘s a real dream... like any dream<br />

I‘ve had...<br />

That‘s not the point, Charley. Why do you want me to say I didn‘t see the<br />

seal?<br />

I‘m not! I want to be sure you did.<br />

But that wouldn‘t make any difference, Charley. The fact that you dream<br />

about a seal has nothing to do with whether I saw one or not.<br />

But it is only since I began to dream about the seal that I realise that I have<br />

been dreaming the same dream since Brian was born. How do you explain that?<br />

I can‘t, Charley. I‘m not a psychologist.<br />

Yes... But it‘s so strange, Dan. It‘s frightening to think that I‘ve been dreaming<br />

for weeks without being aware of it... If you think about it, Dan.<br />

You mean what other exper<strong>ie</strong>nces does one have without being aware of<br />

them?<br />

Yes. Exactly... That‘s frightening... Don‘t you think so?<br />

It‘s hardly likely, Charley.<br />

You mean it couldn‘t happen to you?<br />

I mean that circumstances would soon bring it to your attention. Otherwise<br />

that kind of exper<strong>ie</strong>nce wouldn‘t be significant... I mean like not being aware of the<br />

colour of each passing car.<br />

But what about mental exper<strong>ie</strong>nces, Dan? What if you dream the same dream<br />

every night without being aware of it? A kind of cosmic dream.<br />

Cosmic dream? Is that what your dream is?<br />

It‘s always the same dream, Dan. It must be important.<br />

Yes... If what you say is true, then it is interesting... But how can something<br />

happen to you repeatedly without your becoming aware of it?<br />

If you didn‘t know, Dan...<br />

Know? How do you mean?<br />

What? I mean... Wait... If you weren‘t expecting it... Or... if you didn‘t know it<br />

was possible... Or didn‘t bel<strong>ie</strong>ve it was possible...<br />

Bel<strong>ie</strong>ve? I thought you said know first... You either know a thing or you<br />

don‘t... Bel<strong>ie</strong>f is not the same, Charley.<br />

I know that, Dan... I... I‘m trying to find the words for...<br />

Well, make it one or the other. Anything is possible where bel<strong>ie</strong>f is<br />

concerned...<br />

That‘s faith, Dan... It‘s not the same thing.<br />

Does it matter? It‘s a tedious subject anyway. Let‘s talk about something else<br />

29

if you want to talk.<br />

What? I don‘t need to talk, Dan. I‘m not a bored housewife who needs to be<br />

joll<strong>ie</strong>d along in the evening.<br />

I didn‘t mean that... It just goes on and on... Look. Let me put it this way. You<br />

are having a dream about a seal. Now you remember that you‘ve been dreaming a<br />

dream like it since Brian was born. Well, that‘s that. There is nothing else to know.<br />

The problem you find frightening is similar to the case where you are playing a game<br />

that you don‘t understand very well. For a while you perform certain actions without<br />

being aware of their significance until someone explains the relevant rules. Then your<br />

actions become intelligible or meaningful. At the same time, your past actions also<br />

become meaningful. Do you see? Your dream is like that. The seal makes it<br />

meaningful.<br />

But I wasn‘t dreaming about the seal before you told me you had seen it, Dan.<br />

I know. But the seal has made you retrospectively aware of your dream. In that<br />

way it makes it meaningful.<br />

But that‘s not the same as saying that my dream is about the seal.<br />

Perhaps not. But it is too occult otherwise. To the extent that you dream about<br />

a seal, then you should accept that your dream is about a seal.<br />

Oh... How rational that is, Dan.<br />

How else can it be, Charley?<br />

But having the dream for weeks without being aware of it? How can you<br />

explain that, Dan?<br />

I can‘t...<br />

But what if you didn‘t see the seal, Dan?<br />

No... I don‘t understand you... I‘ve already said that...<br />

But if you didn‘t see the seal, Dan, what am I dreaming about then?<br />

Oh, this is too tedious, Charley... I‘m going inside... Thanks for the meal. I<br />

enjoyed it.<br />

Why don‘t you answer me, Dan? What am I dreaming about then?<br />

Alright, Charley. I‘ll say it one more time. You are dreaming about what I<br />

said, not what I saw.<br />

What you said? But... Dan! Come back...<br />

Later, later, Charley. I‘m tired now...<br />

Mother was in a funny mood this morning.<br />

Hmm... Was she?<br />

Yes. She talked so much. About politics and the atom bomb and values... Are<br />

you having some kind of effect on her, do you think?<br />

Me? I‘ve never spoken to her about politics.<br />

No... I mean... She reads your books and journals while she is minding Brian...<br />

She said so.<br />

I can put them away up here if you like.<br />

Goodness no. I think it is good for her, Dan. She‘s lived a restricted life... Too<br />

restricted.<br />

How? It seems to me that she gets out more than we do. Tom Spencer takes<br />

her to a lot of part<strong>ie</strong>s and restaurants.<br />

I don‘t mean that... Anyway, she is always meeting the same people... No. I<br />

30

mean her ideas are too restricted... Though...<br />

Do you think so, Charley? She is full of ideas.<br />

No. I mean abstract ideas. Like Marxism...<br />

Huh. Spencer will like that.<br />

Yess. Hah... He defends Western values.<br />

Heh-heh... I bet he does. Thatcher and Reagan and all that.<br />

Indeed. Power instead of faith, he says.<br />

Nuke em all! Ha-ha-ha... I can picture him, Charley... The Western Powers<br />

defending his consultancy business... Protecting the colony.<br />

Is that how you see him, Dan? He‘s not really West-Brit, you know... A lot of<br />

the ar-cees are like that too.<br />

Sure. But it‘s America they love.<br />

Yes, that‘s true... But he is good for mother. His vigour, I mean.<br />

I dare say... They are well suited... Do you think they will marry?<br />

I don‘t know... Anyway, I don‘t want to get involved in mother‘s affairs. She<br />

is old enough to looks after herself.<br />

Sure, sure. I was just speculating.<br />

Well, I‘d rather not go into it... Anyway... What happened today, Dan?<br />

Happened? Nothing happened. I stopped on to work out some notes... I told<br />

you.<br />

You were very abstracted and irritable when you came home... You‘ve never<br />

cut me off like that before, you know.<br />

Cut you off? I didn‘t... Charley, I was tired... I spent the day working on those<br />

notes... They‘re very peripheral. But they are taking up a lot of time. It‘s almost<br />

August already and the paper is to be delivered in the first week of term.<br />

Why are you going to so much trouble, Dan? You told me that Paddy Russell<br />

took only a month to prepare last year‘s lecture.<br />

Oh, Russell used his own research... Anyway, he spent most of the time<br />

rev<strong>ie</strong>wing the published material on the subject.<br />

Why don‘t you do that, then? I mean, you‘ll get only two pounds for your<br />

trouble. And nobody ever buys the pamphlet... You‘ll have to give them away.<br />

That‘s not the point, Charley. I‘ve done no research in this sort of area. I‘ve<br />

got to work it all out from scratch.<br />

As you say... But you are making it very hard for yourself, Dan.<br />

Oh, don‘t misunderstand me, Charley. The subject is interesting in its own<br />

way.<br />

I dare say it is, Dan. But it is making you very abstracted.<br />

Then that makes two of us.<br />

Me? Am I abstracted? Is that how you see it, Dan?<br />

What else can be expected under the circumstances, Charley? You have to<br />

feed Brian at all hours day and night. And you admit you are sleeping an awful lot.<br />

Yes... I suppose it‘s true... We‘re both in a muddle... But it won‘t last for ever,<br />

Dan.<br />

No. October... You?<br />

October.<br />

Good... I look forward to that.<br />

And so do I.<br />

Will I switch out the light?<br />

Yes, do... You go to sleep if you want.<br />

Mm... Yes... But... Oh, I rang Tony Hackett.<br />

31

Already?<br />

I‘m meeting him on Wednesday for lunch.<br />

What will you tell him?<br />

I‘m not sure yet. I‘ll play it by ear... You know, he has changed.<br />

How?<br />

He‘s a kind of outsider now... I don‘t mean to be cliquish... I mean that he‘s<br />

loyal to something else now.<br />

Well, he‘s been in the civil service for ten years now... He‘s a bureaucrat now.<br />

No... I‘m a kind of bureaucrat too. After all, the State pays my salary... No...<br />

This loyalty is... how can I put it?.. well, cliquish.<br />

What they call clannish?<br />

No... As though he was a member of a small club... self-conscious.<br />

How can you tell that from a short telephone conversation?<br />

Well, when he realised who it was on the phone, his manner changed<br />

completely... Remember how your manner would change if a tourist asked you a<br />

question in College? Like that... Yes... Can you see that? Instantly covering something<br />

up.<br />

Hardly... I mean, a tourist is an outsider... But Tony hardly sees you as an<br />

outsider.<br />

Perhaps on one level that‘s true... But I sensed a complete change in him...<br />

What does he do there? Do you know? I‘ve never asked him. Civil servants always<br />

seem so discreet.<br />

I don‘t know. I‘ve never had the chance to ask him... But... Yes... Remember<br />

Sarah Burns‘ party last year?<br />

Yes... Actually, Tony mentioned it. That was the last time we met.<br />

That‘s right... Well, I overheard someone teasing him about his work...<br />

Whoever it was called him the Government‘s Estate Agent.<br />

Estate Agent?<br />

Oh, Tony was being teased... I don‘t think that‘s his actual position... Isn‘t he<br />

an assistant principal or something?<br />

I don‘t know... Last time he told me... about four or five years ago... he had<br />

some kind of administrative rank... Yes. He told me that because he was describing<br />

his secretary... She amused him for some reason.<br />

She would... So, you are not so sure of him now, are you?<br />

It‘s not that... There can‘t be any clash of interests... No, I‘ll make it seem<br />

fairly innocuous... you know, a little paranoid.<br />

Paranoid? Ha! But it is paranoid, Dan. I mean, if it was true?<br />

Well, we‘ll try to find out... I suppose until then it is a kind of paranoia...<br />

Oh, Dan, isn‘t it just... Between the FitzHerbert Lecture and sinister jet trails<br />

you‘ll drive yourself... oh...<br />

Oh no. There‘s no fear of that, Charley. They actually counterbalance one<br />

another in a curious way. One is serious, the other is trivial.<br />

And which is serious and which is trivial?<br />

Mmh... Good question... I don‘t know... We‘ll have to see, won‘t we?<br />

Yes... oh yes... And, darling, I hope the paper is the serious one.<br />

Hhh. In which case I‘ll probably become permanently distracted.<br />

Better than being permanently... Oh... But it‘s so silly, Dan... Why here?<br />

We‘re no threat to anyone.<br />

Strategy, sweetheart. Not the people. The island. It‘s strategic... History has<br />

shown that over and over again. The English, the Spaniards, the French, the<br />

32

Germans... When you think of it, Charley, the English saved the Irish from a worse<br />

fate...<br />

I can imagine what they would say to that.<br />

So can I... But it‘s true in any case... They could have been mauled by every<br />

nation in Europe... Think what they would be like today if that had happened. They<br />

would be paranoid about the whole of Europe... Hhh... Ha ha ha!... Except... Hhh,<br />

hhh... except Russia...<br />

It‘s not funny, Dan.<br />

Don‘t you see, Charley? Russia is the only European power that never<br />

meddled in this island... That‘s ironic, Charley.<br />

You have a funny humour at times, Dan... Bloodless...<br />

Bloodless?<br />

You seem to forget that we live here... And you intend raising your son here.<br />

It would be the same anywhere, Charley... Better laugh.<br />

I won‘t... Go to sleep... Perhaps tiredness has made you cynical.<br />

Huh? Don‘t be so serious, Charley... Life goes on... Anyway, I may be wrong.<br />

It‘s not that... You said... it would be the same anywhere.<br />

And?<br />

That‘s true, Dan. It‘s true... Mother used to be afraid of the atom bomb. As<br />

though there was just one bomb... But they can destroy the whole Earth... as you say,<br />

everywhere... Oh, Dan... Dan... there‘s no innocence anymore... Oh oh...<br />

Charley! Oh look, don‘t cry... Here... L<strong>ie</strong> down... Come on, sweetheart...<br />

There now... There now...<br />

Oh, Dan... Ohh... Dan... What can love do now? I mean...<br />

Hush, sweetheart... Don‘t let it take you over... Ease yourself... There. There.<br />

It‘ll be alright...<br />

Oh Dan. Oh darling.<br />

Sweetheart... sweetheart. There, there...<br />

Oh Dan... Love me... Love me...<br />

I do, sweetheart. I love you, Charley. Bel<strong>ie</strong>ve me...<br />

Oh Dan... And I love you too... I do... I really do...<br />

Hush now... hush... rest...<br />

Oh Dan... yes... hold me... I...<br />

Go to sleep, sweetheart... Don‘t worry...<br />

Oh Dan... I... really do... behind everything... all the time ...<br />

Yes, sweetheart... I know... I love you constantly... Now go to sleep...<br />

Oh Dan... Dan...<br />

Sleep... Sleep now...<br />

TUESDAY<br />

Question: Which should be analysed first, (i) the true or (ii)<br />

judgement?<br />

In Frege‘s argument:<br />

33

(a) To the extent that ‗reception‘ (recognition) and judgement are successive<br />

events, then the true, because it is recognised before it is judged, should be<br />

analysed first.<br />

(b) Judgement is made on the true as something given; the true does not<br />

originate in judgement. So judgement is not prior. Therefore, in following<br />

Frege‘s argument, the true should be analysed first.<br />

(i) The true.<br />

Frege: ‗Truth is obviously so basic and simple that the reduction to<br />

something even simpler is impossible.‘<br />

Here Frege is denying the correspondence theory of truth: that<br />

cognition is a picture of a world of facts, and that truth l<strong>ie</strong>s in the<br />

correspondence of this picture with the state of affairs. Frege argues that the<br />

truth of the correspondence could be known only if it is the case that the<br />

correspondence is true. That is, x is a true reference to y only if x is a true<br />

reference to y. Here the cognitive picture, x, must be prior to the state of<br />

affairs, y. Therefore, the truth of the cognitive picture must be tested by some<br />

other means.<br />

But, according to F, truth cannot be defined: the objective relations<br />

which obtain between a thought and a truth cannot be described. For in order<br />

to do so, the word ‗true‘ would appear in the thought and so make a<br />

contribution to the thought itself.<br />

Note that this is the empiricist correspondence theory, but now<br />

elaborated, and rejected, in terms of thought (cognitive picture) and the<br />

judgement concerning the truth of that thought.<br />

Of this F says: ‗Thus the word ―true‖ seems to make possible the<br />

impossible, namely to make that which corresponds to the assertive force<br />

appear to be contributing to the thought. And this attempt, though it fails – or,<br />

more correctly, because it fails – points to what is peculiar to logic.‘<br />

The peculiarity of logic is that an assertion of the truth of a thought can<br />

be made, even though this assertion cannot be made to correspond to the truth<br />

of the thought about which the assertion is made.<br />

It would seem then, as assertion equals judgement, that the judgement<br />

concerning the true is not related immediately to the thought itself, about<br />

which the assertion is made, but only mediately. That is, prior – and<br />

immediate – conditions are to be found in the nature of judgement which make<br />

possible the correctness of a judgement concerning the true.<br />

This means that while the true is objective and distinct from the act of<br />

judgement, the capacity to recognise – and know – the true must l<strong>ie</strong> in the act<br />

of judgement and not in the true itself. Even so, that there is the true, as such,<br />

cannot be proven simply by the fact that it is possible to recognise and know<br />

it.<br />

Hello... Professor...<br />

Uh? You‘re late going over, White. It‘s... uh... after two... Have the liver... if<br />

there‘s any left. They‘re peeling the fish off the tray... Uh...<br />

Liver? . .I...<br />

They can‘t do too much damage to the liver... cooked in some kind of sauce...<br />

Been away yet?<br />

34

No. Not yet... We...<br />

Waiting for the weather to improve, uh? Bloody country... Sodden... Rots<br />

everything. No wonder they‘re half wild... Moving statues now... uh?<br />

Credulity...<br />

Uh?<br />

It‘s what they bel<strong>ie</strong>ve... what they expect... Professor...<br />

Yes, yes. That‘s it... In a quarry, according to the papers. Middle of nowhere...<br />

See anything there... Hu, hu... Well, it‘s harmless anyway... Religion... Not like their<br />

politics... Well, have a good holiday... Get some sun...<br />

Goodbye, Professor...<br />

Oh, White... By the way... Do you have a title for this paper yet?<br />

No, Professor. Not yet.<br />

Uh... leaving it till after the holidays? Good idea... But look, White, remember<br />

it‘s a History Department thing, won‘t you? You were suggested because you‘re an<br />

ideas man... Uh?<br />

It‘s supposed to be on the history of ideas, Professor...<br />

Uh? Yes... These memorial lectures...<br />

... It‘s a fairly wide subject...<br />

Mmh... No reason to take it too seriously, I suppose... But... Look, White...<br />

don‘t use it as a platform for some of your political ideas... Remember it‘s a History<br />

thing...<br />

Yes... The history of ideas, Professor...<br />

Uh?... Yes... Anyway, go and have your lunch, White... I daresay you won‘t<br />

make a fool of yourself... Historians are not fools...<br />

The true, therefore, is irreducible and indefinable.<br />

(ii) Judgement.<br />

According to F, I judge that what I recognise as true is independent of<br />

my recognition of its truth.<br />

Judgement is not an act of predication; it is an act of assertion.<br />

Judgement, F argues, always recognises something as true. That is, the only<br />

function of judgement is to assert the true. The only assertion that can be made<br />

is that something is true.<br />

Judgement/assertion is inseparable from the true.<br />

F: The act of judgement is not an act of affirmation or denial. The act<br />

of judgement does not order statements. The act of judgement is always the<br />

grasping of a complete thought. ‗Even grasping a thought is not creating a<br />

thought, nor is it the establishing of an order among its parts.‘ This means that<br />

in negative propositions, we grasp the thought with its parts already in a<br />

definite order: we do not destroy the thought.<br />

One two four six... Yes?<br />

Dan. Hello.<br />

Charley...<br />

35

You took so long to answer...<br />

I was finishing a sentence... I...<br />

Oh... I won‘t be a minute... We‘ll have a visitor this evening.<br />

For dinner?<br />

No. Afterwards... Will you get some coffee... The Café blend...<br />

Who is it?<br />

Maire MacMahon.<br />

Ah... Maire.<br />

She rang at lunchtime. She wants to see Brian... She said something about<br />

going away... Do you know anything?<br />

No... But I‘m not surprised... She‘s worked herself into a blind alley...<br />

But, Dan, she has so much. The last time I spoke to here she was quite pleased<br />

with the salary she‘s got from the Employment Board... It‘s the civil service... She<br />

was even a little overwhelmed... And she‘s doing that research. Clery has offered to<br />

transfer her to the pee aitch dee register...<br />

Still a blind alley, Charley...<br />

How? Everyone says she‘s been very lucky... So many are struggling to get<br />

even temporary positions, Dan...<br />

No one has offered to marry her, Charley... Don‘t you see that?<br />

Are you serious? But she... doesn‘t... she‘s never tr<strong>ie</strong>d... Oh... you know what I<br />

mean...<br />

Trevor Kelly? Paddy Russell?<br />

Oh that... No one took that seriously... She‘s...<br />

Not their style? Yes...<br />

And you...<br />

Not my style...<br />

I heard that you once drooled over her breasts, Dan...<br />

Huh? I was drunk, Charley... Up to my eyes in research...<br />

Still, Dan... No smoke...<br />

Ha... I admit it. I admit it. She has a wonderful bosom...<br />

Not the word you used, I bel<strong>ie</strong>ve...<br />

True, true... But I dislike intellectual women who uglify themselves...<br />

Is that so? I always thought you disliked intellectual women, period.<br />

What about you, Charley? You‘re intellectual...<br />

And...<br />

Not uglif<strong>ie</strong>d.<br />

Thank you.<br />

What time is she coming at?<br />

About eight.<br />

I‘ll be home before six, then.<br />

Good. See you, darling... Don‘t work too hard.<br />

I won‘t. Goodbye, sweetheart... Kiss.<br />

Kiss kiss...<br />

According to F, there are two kinds of judgements, (a) those which are<br />

justif<strong>ie</strong>d by inference, and (b) those which are justif<strong>ie</strong>d non-inferentially or<br />

which require no justification.<br />

36

(a) These judgements are what Kant called synthetic judgements. F<br />

distinguishes between the ‗psychological‘ and ‗logical‘ elements in such<br />

judgements. On one hand, psychology deals with ideas, which are subjective<br />

mental phenomena, while on the other logic is concerned with objective<br />

thought. (Cf distinction above between ideas and thoughts.) Now, according to<br />

F, while judgements are causally determined, not all such causes are justifying<br />

reasons, that is, to describe how one comes to consider something true is not<br />

the same as giving a proof of it. Frege: ‗The history of the discovery of a<br />

mathematical or natural law cannot replace its rational justification.‘<br />

Such rational justification of synthetic judgements is called inference,<br />

and is undertaken by means of logic. According to F, logic deals with truth by<br />

means of laws of right inference. These laws are the subject matter of logic,<br />

and F indicates their fundamental characteristics:<br />

(1) They are independent of our recognition.<br />

(2) They can be exactly the same for different human beings.<br />

A number of points here:<br />

(1) means that these laws are complete in themselves;<br />

(2) means that they possess ‗identity‘.<br />

Again:<br />

(1) indicates that they are true;<br />

(2) indicates that they are objective.<br />

Thus (as might be expected), other than indicating the area in which<br />

logic is to be appl<strong>ie</strong>d, and how (right inference), the analysis of judgement<br />

type (a) shows that it reduces to an analysis of judgement type (b), that is,<br />

judgements which are justif<strong>ie</strong>d non-inferentially or which require no<br />

justification.<br />

F says that type (b) judgements are the concern of ‗epistemology‘.<br />

Hence: epistemology is more fundamental than logic: that is, it is prior<br />

to logic;<br />

and, epistemology deals with the true and the objective.<br />

(b) While F does not say this, it can be inferred that judgements which require<br />

no justification or whose justification does not rest on other judgements are<br />

judgements that are immediately true and objective.<br />

(Note: This means that there are judgements which have the<br />

characteristics of the ‗objects‘ about which judgements are asserted. If such<br />

‗objects‘ and the judgements about them are seen to be the same things, then<br />

the conclusion must be that judgements are made about judgements!)<br />

Damn... The coffee!<br />

This can‘t be right!<br />

37

Dan?<br />

Yes... Sorry I‘m late. I walked out from town.<br />

Oh... What time ...<br />

Quarter to seven.<br />

It‘s alright. Everything is ready...<br />

Mmm?<br />

There‘s plenty of time...<br />

I got the coffee...<br />

Good.<br />

It was closed. But Barney was in the shop.<br />

What a striking face he has.<br />

Oh yes. I always see him in a black mantle...<br />

Black?<br />

Yes. Like Eriugena on the five pound note.<br />

Hah... But that‘s an ink drawing...<br />

I know. Perhaps it should be red... Even so, black suits him.<br />

Mn... That‘s true. He usually wears a dark suit.<br />

Anyway, he got one of the girls to fix the coffee for me.<br />

Good... I thought that might happen. So I wasn‘t depending on it.<br />

Did you? I had every intention of leaving College at five.<br />

But the notes...<br />

Yes... I seem to be reaching the conclusion that judgements are about<br />

judgements... That can‘t be right.<br />

Surely it‘s not, Dan... Judgements are made about things.<br />

Yes. That‘s the usual idea... But what is a judgement in itself?<br />

A decision. A choice, perhaps.<br />

But how does one know it is true?<br />

Because... of what one knows to begin with.<br />

And that prior knowledge is the product of earl<strong>ie</strong>r judgements. How can you<br />

know that your first judgements are true?<br />

One‘s parents or teachers?<br />

Yes. But can you remember your first judgements?<br />

Of course not... But I do remember Daddy correcting me when I called a plane<br />

a bird.<br />

Yes... But it is clear that it‘s not an historical problem. I mean, the problem of<br />

origins merely hides the problem of the phenomenon itself.<br />

Mmm... Dan, this is ready. We had better eat now.<br />

Yes... What? Sure. I‘ll be ready in a moment.<br />

Wash here... I‘ll put it out.<br />

Okay...<br />

You‘re getting so involved, Dan. Do you have to go into it so deeply?<br />

Perhaps... Oh, I can‘t know till afterwards. It happens all the time, Charley...<br />

But... No... There is something in this. Either language is objective or it‘s not. It‘s the<br />

key. Whichever is true of all language will be true of all communication.<br />

Communication? Dan, what has that got to do with your paper? It‘s supposed<br />

to be about the history of ideas.<br />

Yes. But do ideas, as such, have histor<strong>ie</strong>s in any meaningful sense, Charley?<br />

Perhaps they are only phantas<strong>ie</strong>s... I mean that they are not objective.<br />

Phantas<strong>ie</strong>s? Like dreams?<br />

38

Perhaps... Your seal, eh?<br />

Do you really think so? I mean the seal was terribly real... but, Dan, you made<br />

me realise that not only had I not seen it, but it wasn‘t important whether you had seen<br />

it or not.<br />

Yes. That‘s it... But do you also see, Charley, that the problem also throws the<br />

objectivity of history into doubt?<br />

Ah... Ah... Why write history then, Dan?<br />

Indeed. Why? This is nice, Charley. What is it?<br />

Rosemary... It‘s supposed to be from the South of France... It is tasty.<br />

Yes. It is that.<br />

I‘m glad you like it... Anyway, why write history? Tell me. It‘s interesting.<br />

Well, put it this way. When do people become most preoccup<strong>ie</strong>d with history?<br />

Mm... Let me think... In other words, what are the great periods of history<br />

writing... Not the Middle Ages... The Renaissance... The last hundred and fifty years...<br />

Ah... Change... Of course... To defend or justify the old order.<br />

Yes. When that order is threatened or losing relevance... You see, Charley,<br />

history is a kind of mirror for a way of life. In a time of crisis the mirror becomes<br />

dominant as the actual culture is weakened in some way. And that mirror is an ideal<br />

image of the culture.<br />

Oh yes, Dan. I see it... No objectivity.<br />

Yes. And if you remember that history exists solely in words... like a novel...<br />

then the problem of the nature of history reduces to the problem of language... I mean<br />

the problem of the objectivity of language.<br />

Mmm... I see now... It is interesting... And what do you think so far, Dan?<br />

No. Not yet, Charley... But I‘ll tell you as soon as I know... If I ever know.<br />

But, Dan... What will Professor Dodgeson think of that? The History<br />

Department will surely resent it.<br />

Oh, I was talking to Dodgeson today. Or, rather, he was talking to me... Do<br />

you know what his main fear is?<br />

That you will be too abstract?<br />

No... I think he hopes I will, and so make a fool of myself... No... He suspects<br />

I‘m going to use the lecture as a political platform. You know... broadcast the lefty<br />

stuff they teach in the social sc<strong>ie</strong>nces.<br />

And will you? I mean you read a lot of that kind of material.<br />

Hhh... Everyone in College is left of the History Department... Even Classics...<br />

Anyway, no... In any case, just because they talk about soc<strong>ie</strong>ty is no reason to suppose<br />

they are socialists... Liberals, perhaps... Actually, most of them are good liberals, with<br />

their hearts in the right place.<br />

You‘re being cynical, Dan.<br />

Perhaps... but liberalism has been bankrupt since eighteen forty eight.<br />

And communism. Is that not bankrupt?<br />

Yes. Since nineteen thirty nine... or fifty six.<br />

But what about Stalin‘s purges?<br />

What about them?<br />

He murdered thousands in the thirt<strong>ie</strong>s!<br />

That‘s true... But, Charley, keep that in proportion... Every country has done<br />

that... The French aristocracy, the American Indian... Cromwell... the eye ar aye... But<br />

another point, Charley... McCarthyism... it destroyed the lives of thousands... They<br />

weren‘t shot or sent to Gulags... But what they lost in terms of American values was<br />

about the same... Can you see that? Death may not be the worst punishment...<br />

39

Dan!<br />

Oh, I‘m not trying to justify what happened in Russia. But it‘s not simply a<br />

moral matter. There‘s a level of realpolitik that must be taken into account. Otherwise<br />

it is only a prescriptive idealism, not political analysis... Anyway, it still goes on,<br />

Charley... Argentine and Chile. Afghanistan... the North...<br />

But there are values, Dan.<br />

Yes, Charley... But still it goes on... Don‘t hide behind values... That won‘t<br />

change the world.<br />

Oh Dan... Sometimes, you know, you can be so shocking.<br />

Hhh... Don‘t blame me, Charley... Anyway, it didn‘t spoil our dinner... I<br />

enjoyed it... You must make that dish again...<br />

Oh... You can be so hard.<br />

Hard? But it‘s only knowledge... words... Charley... It would have been<br />

different no doubt if I had been involved in one of those purges... But it‘s academic...<br />

After all, history is full of it... Did that ever put you off your food?<br />

No... but at the table, Dan.<br />

I suppose so... I remember... we had a drink-up after the ser<strong>ie</strong>s of lectures on<br />

the Black Death. We must have speculated on it for most of the night.<br />

And?<br />

It never became real enough to upset me... whole cit<strong>ie</strong>s wiped out... rats, the<br />

swellings... everything... There must have been terrible anguish... But it just wasn‘t<br />

real, Charley.<br />

Was any of it ever real, Dan?<br />

Yes... I‘ll tell you... The random violence of a conquering army... That... And<br />

you?<br />

Rape... of course...<br />

That says something about us, Charley.<br />

What we fear might happen?<br />

In part... But also that it has never happened to us as a... race.<br />

Ascendancy?<br />

You, perhaps... We were just good loyal prod peasants...<br />

Ugh... Don‘t use that word, Dan... It‘s so denigrating.<br />

Middle class? Hah... but you know what I mean, don‘t you?<br />

Yes.<br />

No fear of famine or disease...<br />

Enslavement...<br />

Yes... But also, Charley... it‘s worth remembering... also no fear of losing<br />

power or wealth...<br />

What? What do you mean?<br />

Status, yes... Actual political power or great wealth... No.<br />

I don‘t agree... that‘s precisely what we lost, Dan...<br />

Do you really bel<strong>ie</strong>ve that, Charley? The Ascendancy never had real power.<br />

They were a caretaker class... If they had stayed in England they would have been<br />

nobod<strong>ie</strong>s... They were not like the Normans...<br />

Oh, Dan, not that...<br />

The Normans conquered and established their own power. Bureaucratic arm<strong>ie</strong>s<br />

did it for the English establishment in the seventeenth century and a bureaucratic<br />

Ascendancy was put in to maintain order afterwards... They could flog a peasant or<br />

transport him... but the fighting Irish... they were gone.<br />

Dan! I didn‘t know you were patriotic.<br />

40

No... It‘s academic...<br />

But the way you put it... Nationalistic...<br />

No!... No, not nationalistic... I‘m Irish... You are Irish... Go anywhere and we<br />

are treated as Irish... Remember Cambridge... And... remember... it was an advantage<br />

in France...<br />

Well, the only place where we are not treated as Irish is Ireland...<br />

And America, according to Keith Jackson... They couldn‘t wait to make him a<br />

Mason.<br />

Yes... The Middle Nation, as they said in the Middle Ages... Oh... Is that<br />

Maire already?<br />

It‘s five to.<br />

The place... The table... Brian...<br />

Go and feed him, Charley... I‘ll clear up here...<br />

But...<br />

Go on... Better not leave her company soon after she arrives...<br />

I won‘t be long, Dan...<br />

Take your time...<br />

Make coffee if you think it wise... There are some things here... Yes... Biscuits<br />

should do...<br />

Don‘t rush, Charley. I‘ll handle it... Go on now...<br />

Okay... And Dan... don‘t tease her so...<br />

Hhh!... Don‘t blame me... Hello, Maire.<br />

Dan!<br />

Your bicycle...<br />

It‘s there...<br />

Put it under the hedge...<br />

It‘s locked.<br />

Hhh. Hardly any need for that... This is a decent neighbourhood...<br />

Good. But I locked it anyway.<br />

I mean that wreckage lets the place down, Maire.<br />

To its proper level, Doctor Dan... Now, are you going to let me in? I‘ve come<br />

to see the heir.<br />

Come in... The heir is being fed by the dam... Throw your clothes anywhere.<br />

And you?<br />

I‘ve got to clean up... Come in to the kitchen...<br />

Rosemary... Lamb?<br />

It was delicious... You dry.<br />

I‘ll wash.<br />

You won‘t... You‘re not familiar with the idiosyncras<strong>ie</strong>s of this kitchen.<br />

Are you?<br />

More than you are... Here... It‘s clean... don‘t fuss.<br />

The pattern...<br />

Mmm... Let me... Ah, the cock... From the Canar<strong>ie</strong>s, I think... Notice the<br />

Iberian influences.<br />

Bold... Universal influence, if you ask me.<br />

Well, that‘s what they dry dishes with there...<br />

Good idea... Useful.<br />

But I prefer the flaming hearts... There... At the corners.<br />

Martyrdom, Dan? I wouldn‘t have thought so.<br />

No. That‘s the bleeding heart. You should know.<br />

41

Hardly. I don‘t care for anatomical icons.<br />

The whole body or nothing sort of thing? Here... It‘s hot.<br />

No. Christus Rex... If I have to... Where will I put it?<br />

Oh... on the table... There... Very French... I thought you preferred the German<br />

thing. You know, blood and gore... explicit detail.<br />

Nothing Protestant, Dan... The Aufklerung...<br />

Ah, I forgot... Munich... I‘d prefer Chartres, actually.<br />

The West Door?<br />

Yes... That one.<br />

He sits within the vesica... Ah Dan... I didn‘t know...<br />

There... Come on inside... Do you want coffee yet? Oh... alright... It‘s another<br />

universal idea, I suppose...<br />

Hah! Dan... Don‘t pout... It‘s nothing to be ashamed of... Being a man, I mean.<br />

Do you want coffee, Maire?<br />

Not yet... I‘ll wait until Charlotte comes down... Play me some music.<br />

Okay... But there‘s no Handel or Haydn.<br />

Bach?<br />

Not tonight... How about Fauré? Piano.<br />

Play the Monteverdi...<br />

But you have a copy of that.<br />

Mmm... Si dolce e il tormento... This room is perfect for it.<br />

Okay... Make yourself comfortable somewhere...<br />

What?<br />

What what?<br />

I‘ll turn the record... You‘ll hear your si dolce.<br />

Dan, I‘ve rarely seen anyone so moved by music as you are.<br />

Hh... I suppose it begs no questions.<br />

Always an answer, Doctor Dan.<br />

Shut up and listen.<br />

Mmm...<br />

There now.<br />

Beautiful...<br />

The light... How sensitive it makes the eyes... How is the Employment Board?<br />

Ah that... It‘s almost organised... Are you interested?<br />

Kind of... Not in itself... What you have managed to do.<br />

I‘ve set up the library anyway. Now I‘m working out an information system<br />

for the regional offices. You know, access to the library. Photocop<strong>ie</strong>s... microfilm...<br />

It‘ll be up to them to use it...<br />

Circularising bibliographical material?<br />

Yes, to an extent... New articles especially.<br />

It‘s an ach<strong>ie</strong>vement... Not many get a chance to set up a whole new library.<br />

But will they use it?<br />

42

Will they?<br />

They have no excuse. They have access. All they have to do is send for what<br />

they need.<br />

Expense?<br />

Well covered. Ee ee cee grants... Plenty of money.<br />

You don‘t seem too pleased with yourself.<br />

Oh... I‘ve done it before.<br />

Yes. I remember... But this is on a national scale, Maire. It‘s an ach<strong>ie</strong>vement.<br />

It‘s done now... Charlotte!<br />

Maire! How are you?<br />

Oh, you look so well!... Mmm...<br />

Mmm... you‘ve managed to get some sun...<br />

Cycling... Weather-beaten...<br />

Ha... Good exercise. Especially when you spend the day stuck in an office...<br />

Have you had coffee? I heard the music.<br />

No. But I‘ll fix it now. Are you ready?<br />

I‘ll do it, Dan... Yes... Will you have coffee, Maire?<br />

Mmm.<br />

Do you want a drink? You, Charley?<br />

I don‘t know... Maire?<br />

Not gin anyway.<br />

There‘s a bottle of P<strong>ie</strong>sporter.<br />

Do you still have some of that?<br />

Oh, Tom Spencer gave us a dozen of them last Christmas... Don‘t you like it?<br />

I‘m surprised you haven‘t drunk it all yet.<br />

There haven‘t been many occasions, Maire.<br />

Oh good! This is an occasion.<br />

Hah...<br />

You came to survey the heir.<br />

How is he, Charlotte?<br />

Lively. Big appetite.<br />

Another White, I daresay.<br />

He‘s got fair hair. The Whites have brown hair. Mousy... A touch of auburn at<br />

best... I‘ll get the wine.<br />

Your side, Charlotte?<br />

I don‘t know. A lot of children have fair hair. Daddy‘s family were sandy<br />

red... you know, very Scottish. But mother says there was blond in the Richards. But<br />

I‘m brown... Though Dan says there‘s blond in it... Oh it‘s So hard to tell at this age,<br />

Maire...<br />

Can I see him, Charlotte?<br />

Bring him down, Charley.<br />

He‘s asleep.<br />

We won‘t waken him.<br />

Do, Charlotte.<br />

Very well...<br />

Do you have a sense of ach<strong>ie</strong>vement, Dan?<br />

It‘s hard to say... Nnh!... Damn. I forgot the glasses.<br />

I know where they are.<br />

Okay... When I first saw him I had such a strong sense that he was mine...<br />

Ours, really... Charley looked so proud and... so satisf<strong>ie</strong>d... Here... Don‘t guzzle it yet.<br />

43

I don‘t have your habits.<br />

Too bad... Anyway, your health, Maire...<br />

To you, father Dan.<br />

Ah... God but it‘s nice.<br />

Mmm...<br />

Here... Top up...<br />

Thanks... And now?<br />

Now? Oh, he‘s someone else now. It‘s surprising how quickly an infant<br />

reveals his personality... With Brian, it‘s the way he dislikes having his face washed.<br />

But you can kiss his cheek... even his lips... but don‘t touch his nose. He hates that...<br />

Do you see what I mean?<br />

Yes... I wouldn‘t have thought... Oh, here he is now.<br />

Asleep?<br />

Mmm... Look.<br />

Oh, he‘s so beautiful...<br />

Replete...<br />

How he clutches his thumbs within his fingers...<br />

He always does that. I don‘t know why.<br />

You must be so proud of him, Charlotte. He‘s so beautiful.<br />

Mmm... That‘s because he‘s asleep, Maire.<br />

His skin...<br />

Yes. Nothing like it on earth.<br />

He‘s so sweet, Charlotte.<br />

Yes... He‘s very even-tempered... But, Maire... he‘s greedy.<br />

Ha!... Another White...<br />

Another baby... They can‘t help but be honest... Put him on the sofa, Charley...<br />

Let‘s toast him...<br />

No... I‘ll hold him, Charlotte.<br />

If you want to... Here... Ah... Yes... Like that... cradle his head...<br />

Ah, Maire, it...<br />

What, Dan?<br />

You hold him very well, Maire.<br />

Thanks, Charlotte. But he‘s so... Oh... He‘s smiling.<br />

There. He likes you, Maire.<br />

But he‘s asleep, Dan.<br />

What has that got to do with it, Charley? He has a thousand senses... He‘s<br />

extraordinarily sensitive to mood, Maire. Do you know that? It makes you wonder<br />

what we destroy in children in order to make adults of them.<br />

Dan...<br />

It‘s true, Charley.<br />

I‘ll take him now, Maire.<br />

Destroy, Dan?<br />

Put him on the sofa, Charley... Perhaps too strong, Maire... Limitations... The<br />

limitations of the adult world...<br />

But it‘s necessary, Dan.<br />

Perhaps... But there‘s no future in that... Here, Charley... Let‘s toast Brian.<br />

To Brian White... Now, Dan, to Charlotte, his mother.<br />

Yes... To you, Charley... Thanks, sweetheart... Here. Let me top you up...<br />

Here‘s to his future, Charley, Maire... To Brian, may he have riches and long life...<br />

Riches and long life? How quaint. Is it a White custom?<br />

44

In a way, Maire... Charley?<br />

A kind of joke, Maire.<br />

Well, here‘s to riches and long life...<br />

Yes... and wisdom.<br />

And wisdom... And finally, Charlotte, to Dan.<br />

Yes, to you, darling. Thank you.<br />

Lovely... And we‘ll dedicate the rest of the bottle to Maire... To her future<br />

happiness...<br />

Thank you... Thank you both.<br />

You are welcome, Maire.<br />

Yes, Maire... It was good of you to come.<br />

Oh... I‘m so happy for you both... And for Brian... You will be so good to<br />

him... I know it.<br />

I hope so, Maire.<br />

Yes... I‘ll make the coffee...<br />

Can I help, Charlotte?<br />

There‘s no need, Maire... Sit down... Both of you. I‘ll be back in a few<br />

minutes...<br />

Ah... No. Don‘t worry, Maire. It‘s not that easy to waken him... No. Do... Sit<br />

beside him.<br />

He is sweet, Dan.<br />

Yes. He is.<br />

His hair is so soft... Dan, Charlotte cut her hair. Why?<br />

I don‘t know, Maire... Perhaps she‘ll let it grow again.<br />

You‘re not sure?<br />

I expect she will.<br />

Strange.<br />

Why?<br />

I mean, it‘s a sign of gr<strong>ie</strong>f... Why should she do it, Dan?<br />

Gr<strong>ie</strong>f? Yes... Is that it? Here, let‘s finish the bottle.<br />

Charlotte?<br />

No. She won‘t drink any more... There... Your good health, Maire.<br />

And yours, Dan.<br />

Perhaps she feels she has lost something, Maire.<br />

You mean Brian?<br />

Something like that.<br />

Mmm... Yes... oh yes.<br />

You can feel it?<br />

Only physically... Dan!... Oh yes... There...<br />

I thought so... But the mother must let go sometime... She can‘t follow it all<br />

the way down.<br />

Down?<br />

Yes. Down... She has to let go...<br />

They never do... We women never let go.<br />

I‘m well aware of that, Maire... I‘ll play some more music... Anything in<br />

mind?<br />

Charlotte...<br />

Not an oratorio, Maire. It would crush me... What about Schwarzkopf?<br />

The Strauss songs?<br />

Yes. Charley likes them.<br />

45

men.<br />

Yes. Do.<br />

Good... Here. The last drink... To tenacious womankind, Maire.<br />

Ha... And to the illusions of mankind.<br />

Illusions of mankind?<br />

Oh, Charlotte. Dan thinks women are tenacious... They don‘t let go of their<br />

I‘ll pour, Charley, if you like.<br />

Thanks, Dan... But illusions, Maire?<br />

Oh, men think there is somewhere else, Charlotte.<br />

Other than where?<br />

Than the womb.<br />

Metaphorically, of course... Help yourself, Maire.<br />

Thanks... metaphorically, of course... But still true.<br />

Maire is playing Mother Goddess tonight.<br />

Dan... Don‘t... Not tonight.<br />

It‘s alright, Charlotte. I‘m used to it.<br />

Sit down, Charley... Here‘s your coffee.<br />

No... I don‘t think I‘ll have any... I...<br />

Charley, what‘s wrong?<br />

Nothing... I‘m tired, that‘s all...<br />

Perhaps I should go, Charlotte. It is getting late...<br />

No. Finish your coffee... Eat something... Do... I‘ll take Brian back upstairs.<br />

I‘ll do that, Charley... You stay where you are... Come on, little one. Come to<br />

your daddy...<br />

I‘m sorry, Maire. It‘s taking longer to recover than I thought... Strauss?<br />

Yes. Dan put it on for you.<br />

So good of him... He is very kind, Maire.<br />

Yes, I can see that... He‘s very excited about Brian.<br />

Yes. But he doesn‘t notice the extent of the effect on him. He‘s working so<br />

hard on that paper.<br />

The FitzHerbert Lecture?<br />

Yes. I think he is making it difficult for himself.<br />

He was always like that, Charlotte. He lost himself in his research.<br />

That was different. He had no choice then... No. This time he is doing it<br />

deliberately.<br />

Brian?<br />

Yes. He has affected both of us deeply. More deeply than we seem to realise.<br />

He feels he has been superseded, is that it?<br />

Yes. And it‘s so hard to reassure him... You know, Maire, other than an old<br />

uncle in Waterford, he has no family.<br />

You and Brian?<br />

Yes, of course. But he feels responsible for us... I think he feels that there is no<br />

one above him, to feel responsible for him.<br />

Of course. His parents...<br />

Yes.<br />

And you?<br />

A bout of postnatal depression, really... Especially in the evening.<br />

You should have told me... I could have come in the afternoon.<br />

Oh, no. You did the right thing... You did make an occasion tonight... I‘m glad<br />

you came... Ah, Dan.<br />

46

Sleeping like a log, Charley... While I was carrying him up, he reached out<br />

and clutched my nose... What do you think of that? Didn‘t waken.<br />

He must have heard you talking about his nose, Dan.<br />

I bet he did, Maire... Will you have some tea, Charley?<br />

No... Look, I‘ll go up... I must get up at three to feed him again.<br />

I‘ll go...<br />

No, Maire... Have some more coffee... Dan... Stay... You must come for<br />

dinner the next time, Maire...<br />

Yes... We‘ll organise a party... Two or three others...<br />

Yes. That would be nice...<br />

Goodnight, then, Maire... Mmm.<br />

Mmm... Sleep well, Charlotte.<br />

Yes.<br />

I‘ll come up soon, Charley.<br />

Yes. Take your time... Goodnight.<br />

Goodnight...<br />

It took a lot out of her, Maire. She was fifteen hours in labour. The rings under<br />

her eyes... I don‘t think she expected that.<br />

She looks quite well physically, Dan... Charlotte thinks it‘s a bout of<br />

depression.<br />

Mmm... The breast-feeding. She insists on doing it... She‘s not getting enough<br />

rest.<br />

It may satisfy Charlotte to do it. She seems so close to Brian.<br />

Oh yes. I don‘t doubt that... But he bites her, Maire. It distresses her... She<br />

can‘t stop him... I wish she would bottle-feed him.<br />

But she wants to breast-feed him, Dan, doesn‘t she?<br />

It‘s only a fashion... Next year it will be the bottle again.<br />

No. It‘s deeper than that, Dan.<br />

Would you endure the discomfort, Maire?<br />

I don‘t have a baby, Dan... And I‘m hardly likely to...<br />

Aw, Maire... I told you what to do years ago. Get into your party dress, put on<br />

your face, and go to Leeson Street.<br />

Hhh... I remember... They‘re not much, Dan.<br />

How do you know? You might find just the right man there.<br />

I doubt it... It‘s alright for a man... But men run a mile when they hear that the<br />

woman is highly qualif<strong>ie</strong>d – and highly paid.<br />

And getting more qualif<strong>ie</strong>d... Are you going to transfer?<br />

No... I‘ll do the Masters.<br />

But you ought to get out and meet... well, meet other men... The circle you are<br />

in is too narrow... Anyway, they‘re nearly all marr<strong>ie</strong>d, aren‘t they?<br />

Yes.<br />

You spend your time doting on other people‘s children... Aunt<strong>ie</strong> Maire.<br />

Oh... Dan... I think I‘ll go back to Germany.<br />

Work in a library there?<br />

I don‘t know.<br />

Break out... Why not? But what about the post you have? It‘s a good one,<br />

Maire.<br />

The taxes are becoming ridiculous... I‘ll have to buy a house to get some of it<br />

back...<br />

But...<br />

47

I don‘t need a house, Dan... I‘ll go now... The record has finished...<br />

Okay... Where‘s your cardigan?<br />

In the hall.<br />

I hope it‘s not raining.<br />

There‘s a mac in my bag.<br />

It‘s heavy...<br />

I was in the library.<br />

When will you have it written?<br />

By Christmas.<br />

You could always do the doctorate, Maire.<br />

Maybe... Later... It‘s not raining.<br />

No... There are stars even... Look... That‘s Jupiter...<br />

Dan...<br />

Mmm?<br />

Goodnight... Charlotte won‘t mind.<br />

How chaste, Maire... Thank you... I told you. Sit in the bar in Jury‘s or<br />

something. You never know...<br />

Not my style. I leave that to the secretar<strong>ie</strong>s... Goodnight...<br />

Goodnight... And light your lamp!<br />

Huh!... That would hardly make any difference...<br />

Mmm.<br />

It‘s okay. Go back to sleep.<br />

Dan?<br />

Yes, sweetheart... Here... Let me put my arms around you.<br />

Oh, Dan... Dan...<br />

Hush, sweetheart... Sleep.<br />

He is so heavy... Mmm... I‘ll be glad when it‘s over...<br />

Shh...<br />

Dan? Dan, I‘m sorry I said it was a joke.<br />

What was?<br />

The prophecy.<br />

Oh that... Don‘t take it too seriously, Charley.<br />

No... Brian... It was Brian, Dan... Don‘t you see?<br />

Brian? Oh...<br />

What?<br />

Goosepimples...<br />

Yes... You see, Dan, don‘t you? I mean if you let things happen...<br />

Like opening a channel?<br />

Yes... Like that... Yes...<br />

Mmm... I understand...<br />

Good... And, Dan...<br />

Yes?<br />

Maire is right... You know that...<br />

About what?<br />

Only she shouldn‘t say it... Goodnight, Dan...<br />

But... Oh... Goodnight, Charley...<br />

48

WEDNESDAY<br />

Judgement is an action. Such an action has two elements: (A) as a<br />

means to an end, it expresses an intention or purpose, (B) as an event, it has an<br />

objective content. While an action can be indicated, the ‗act-ness‘ itself cannot<br />

be isolated from either (A) or (B). Therefore, it cannot be the subject of an<br />

action, either as an intention or as a content. Thus, there cannot be a<br />

judgement of a judgement, for a judgement, as an action, cannot of itself be<br />

said to be true or objective; only the expressiveness or content of an action can<br />

be said to be true or objective.<br />

What Frege says is this: ‗What I recognise as true I judge to be<br />

independent of my recognition of its truth.‘ Judgement is the simple and<br />

abiding knowledge that the true is objective and not subjective, that it is, as F<br />

says elsewhere, discovered and not created.<br />

Thus, (1) judgement is only one kind of action, the bringing to mind of<br />

the knowledge that the true is objective at the moment that a truth is<br />

recognised, and (2) all judgement is of the type (B), above. Specifically,<br />

judgement in itself requires no justification, for judgement is an action.<br />

But, according to (i) above, the true cannot be justif<strong>ie</strong>d either. It is<br />

simple and so not open to analysis. Moreover, the relations between a truth<br />

and a thought cannot be described. This means that, to the extent that the true<br />

is the end of judgement as an action, the true remains at the level of intention.<br />

It remains distinct from the content of the action, the thought, that is, the<br />

action as an event does not ‗embody‘ intention.<br />

The cause of this peculiar situation l<strong>ie</strong>s in F‘s refusal to allow that once<br />

the truth of a thought is recognised, the ‗true‘ becomes an element of the<br />

thought: that it becomes a true thought. But his refusal is correct. To judge that<br />

the statement ‗All men are mortal‘ is true is not to add the term ‗true‘ to the<br />

statement. The statement as the object of the act of judgement cannot<br />

‗embody‘ the intention of the act, which is to be aware that the true is<br />

objective. (Compare an action such as making an artefact, where the raw<br />

material comes to ‗embody‘ the intention as the finished object. Also the<br />

justification of a synthetic or complex statement, where the intention is<br />

expressed in the result of the analysis, that the statement is true. –<br />

Thus the kind of action that the act of judgement is, is unique.<br />

Generally, an action serves to express the intention motivating it, which<br />

appears objectively in the transformation of the content to which the action is<br />

appl<strong>ie</strong>d. Wood becomes a chair; a complex statement becomes a set of<br />

propositions, one or more of which is true. But while the act of judgement is<br />

appl<strong>ie</strong>d to a content, a thought, this content is not transformed so as to express<br />

the intention of the act of judgement. Yet – notice that all actions in<br />

embodying an intention can be said to have the true as their end: if a chair is<br />

49

the result of an action, it can be judged whether it is a ‗true‘ chair or not.<br />

What is a ‗true‘ chair? Correspondence theory, above: I must know<br />

already what a ‗true‘ chair is, and the true-ness of this knowledge must be<br />

independent of any actual chair. It is not that I have an ideal chair in my mind;<br />

it is simply that I am capable of knowing that truth exists, such that talk about<br />

a ‗true‘ chair is meaningful. That is, the true is what allows me to compare one<br />

chair – the ‗true‘ chair – with another and judge the latter as being true. But<br />

how do I know that the first chair is true? Because either I am told it is so and<br />

I accept that this is true or I establish specifications myself out of my needs.<br />

Actually, these two sources of knowledge reduce to 1. a true chair fits the<br />

specifications arising from the need for a chair and 2. I judge that this is true.<br />

Summary:<br />

a. Thoughts can be judged to be true.<br />

b. Truth is of judgements and not of thoughts.<br />

c. Truth establishes the objectivity of thoughts, but not of actual objects to<br />

which the thoughts refer.<br />

d. The objectivity of thoughts is their truth: but thoughts are not objective in<br />

themselves only the truth is objective.<br />

e.<br />

Oh... Come in!<br />

Dan...<br />

Tony... Is it that time? How are you?<br />

Hungry... It‘s ten to... Are you busy?<br />

Notes... Got lost in them... You‘re looking very well.<br />

Office gear. It‘s well for you academic types. You can dress as you want.<br />

You‘d want to see the students.<br />

I can imagine. Especially the girls... So these are the new offices. Not like<br />

New Square.<br />

Nor like MacBr<strong>ie</strong>n‘s office. Remember? I would be there now.<br />

Yes. Number six, four floors up. Pokey window overlooking Dame Street. I<br />

remember... You don‘t have much of a v<strong>ie</strong>w here.<br />

Junior staff. Only the senior staff get to look out at the Old Library.<br />

And the books, Dan. I didn‘t think you were a collector... Is it required?<br />

Oh those. Bought them from MacBr<strong>ie</strong>n when he left. Mostly rubbish. Too<br />

many secondary works.<br />

So... What are you working on? Truth?<br />

The FitzHerbert Lecture.<br />

Never heard of it.<br />

One of the History Department‘s memorial lectures. Dodgeson wants me to do<br />

it this year.<br />

Dodgeson? I thought you didn‘t like him.<br />

That‘s probably the reason.<br />

What‘s it about? Seventeenth century dissenters?<br />

No, for once. A topic in the history of ideas. Apparently, this FitzHerbert was<br />

a spenglerian. But most of the lectures have been on med<strong>ie</strong>val or reformation religious<br />

ideas. It seems to serve as a safety valve for those who need to speculate. You know,<br />

Joachim of Fiore, Nicholas of Cusa, and things like that. Anabaptism. Prophecy and<br />

50

millenarianism.<br />

The end of the world? Is that what you are working on? Truth and judgement?<br />

Good heavens no. Language mostly. At the moment, anyway. I‘m not sure<br />

what the topic will be. Perhaps something about culture.<br />

What has that to do with the history of ideas?<br />

Good question, Tony... Actually, the word culture just popped into my mind<br />

while I was answering you... Yes... Put it this way. The notion that ideas have a<br />

history impl<strong>ie</strong>s some kind of transmission of ideas over time. How is it done? Call the<br />

medium culture. This is the intellectual heritage of a soc<strong>ie</strong>ty... Transmission is by<br />

means of language. Now, let the word culture be the defining term. Culture then is,<br />

broadly, the ideas of a soc<strong>ie</strong>ty as conveyed by means of a language. There are three<br />

elements there, culture, ideas and language. Add two more, the actual world and men.<br />

Now ask the question, What kind of relations hold between these elements? The<br />

ultimate question will be, Is any term, or terms, fundamental?<br />

Very philosophical, Dan. What has it to do with politics?<br />

Ostensibly, none. But consider, Tony, the possible answer. From the point of<br />

v<strong>ie</strong>w of historians the constitution of the elements and or relations between them are<br />

changing continuously. Here it is impossible to discover truth, so that all knowledge<br />

appears to be what is called ideological and therefore nothing more than either<br />

illusion or a facade which hides the real nature of our actions.<br />

But, Dan, whatever about ideas and the like, surely men and the real world<br />

don‘t change? I mean, essentially.<br />

Well, you‘d have to show that essence, or essences. But in terms of our<br />

knowledge of men and his world, well, our knowledge has changed. For instance,<br />

there have been animist, theological, naturalist and sc<strong>ie</strong>ntific theor<strong>ie</strong>s about the<br />

world... as there have been about man. Where there are now sc<strong>ie</strong>ntific laws of nature,<br />

there once was a bel<strong>ie</strong>f in spiritual forces or divine omnipotence.<br />

But man is a constant, surely, Dan. I mean, man has always been what he is<br />

now. His feelings, mental capacit<strong>ie</strong>s, that sort of thing.<br />

What you are treating as a matter of fact is actually an expression of<br />

knowledge... or perhaps of bel<strong>ie</strong>f. Do you see that? And as knowledge or bel<strong>ie</strong>f that<br />

sort of thing is part of your culture... And you have already allowed that culture and<br />

ideas change.<br />

Ah... So? Truth?<br />

That‘s where my note-taking has brought me.<br />

But surely truth... or what you have said already... is also part of culture?<br />

Yes.<br />

And?<br />

And what?<br />

Culture changes, so truth changes. And... uh... well, all knowledge is illusion...<br />

Is that your thesis?<br />

Not quite, Tony... Look. Put it this way. Would you allow that the statement<br />

you have just made, that all knowledge is illusion, has the same meaning as the<br />

statement that there is no such thing as truth?<br />

Yes.<br />

Okay. Is that statement true or false? It can‘t be true, because it says that there<br />

is no such thing as truth. If it is false, then it seems to allow that there is such a thing<br />

as truth.<br />

This is very abstract, Dan.<br />

It is none the less real, Tony... Anyway, it‘s not a particularly original<br />

51

problem. The Greeks had a story about a Cretan who told them that all Cretans were<br />

liars. Was the Cretan to be bel<strong>ie</strong>ved or not?<br />

Even so, Dan, it‘s still very abstract and philosophical for the kind of paper<br />

they‘ll expect. Dodgeson will... Hey! You have it in for him... Is that what you are up<br />

to?<br />

No. I could just as easily make a fool of myself. If anything, that is what<br />

Dodgeson hopes... I mean, if he is being malicious.<br />

But it looks as though you are going to slate the whole history thing. You can‘t<br />

expect historians to like that.<br />

Oh, Tony, it‘s not a vendetta. There are eas<strong>ie</strong>r ways of doing that... You know,<br />

a snotty paper sending up one of their pet topics... No... Actually, Tony, it is a real<br />

problem. I think it has grown out of my stint here in politics. I mean, it is in politics<br />

that the... well, disjunction between theory and practice is most evident.<br />

Historiography is strictly speaking not a practice in the way politics is. Mmm?<br />

Yes... Well, good luck with it... It seems incredibly abstract to me...<br />

Hhh... Let‘s go to lunch anyway... And... sorry if I went on too much about it.<br />

Oh no... Dan. It‘s good to have the old brain shaken up now and again...<br />

Where will we go?<br />

The Staff Restaurant?<br />

I‘d rather not.<br />

I don‘t blame you.<br />

No. I don‘t particularly want to see my late teachers.<br />

Not many of them around this time of the year. Mostly visiting academics...<br />

No, it‘s the food... Though I usually have something cold.<br />

Let‘s find a small place off Grafton Street... We can have a roll or something...<br />

Or do you want a drink?<br />

No. Do you?<br />

No. I resist the liquid lunch thing. The afternoons are absolutely hell.<br />

Well, let‘s go... Is it raining?<br />

Not fifteen minutes ago. But bring your brolly.<br />

I have a slick somewhere... Yes... Let‘s go.<br />

Do you enjoy teaching politics, Dan?<br />

Yes. I‘m still developing the courses... No. This way. It will leave us at the<br />

door... It‘s more involved than history.<br />

But you were good at history. So many wanted to read your essays.<br />

Ha... Some of them I never got back.<br />

And when you were offered the chance to go to Cambridge... I was surprised<br />

you didn‘t accept.<br />

So was I at first. It seemed perverse... But I was really tired of looking back,<br />

Tony. I didn‘t want to spend my life looking back to the past.<br />

Perhaps you were tired of studying... I was.<br />

Not really. I wanted to do research. The degree didn‘t stretch me enough.<br />

Yes. I can bel<strong>ie</strong>ve that. And now?<br />

The thesis exhausted me. But I had to prepare the politics courses. Most of<br />

MacBr<strong>ie</strong>n‘s stuff was outdated and... well... rationalist in the way American academic<br />

thought can be. You know what I mean, reif<strong>ie</strong>d mental powers and virtues. As though<br />

they were as concrete as actual human activity. Now I‘m getting on top of that...<br />

Perhaps I‘m beginning to speak for myself.<br />

But philosophy, Dan? You are not a trained philosopher.<br />

So what? Academic philosophers are just like historians. They merely pick<br />

52

away at minor topics presented to them by their bureaucratically organised superiors.<br />

Ha... Let‘s go up Dawson Street... Miss the crowd in Grafton Street... But<br />

you‘re also caught in what you call the bureaucratic organisation. You are expected to<br />

pick away at minor topics in politics.<br />

But they are all working dark tunnels going nowhere, Tony. Thousands of<br />

careerists manoeuvring for notice and promotion.<br />

But it‘s always been like that, Dan... Here... Yes... If you don‘t like it we can<br />

go some there else.<br />

No. It‘s okay... What is there?<br />

Rolls?<br />

Yes. And tea... I agree. But the scale of the activity now. And the influence...<br />

All the half-baked theorising in the media... It is ideological and opportunist.<br />

Perhaps. But think of organised religion, Dan. Was it any different? Here.<br />

Yes... Thanks... But it was different in one essential, Tony. Cultural religion<br />

was erected on what can be best called faith. No matter how illusory or opportunistic<br />

the religious superstructure was, the ordinary exper<strong>ie</strong>nce of faith was distinct. And the<br />

peculiarity of faith is that it is a kind of focusing power... Can you see that?<br />

Yes and no... Do you have faith, Dan?<br />

That‘s a typically superstructural question, Tony. It assumes that what I call<br />

faith can be translated into cultural terms. Or expressed in those terms... No. What I<br />

mean by focusing power is this. No matter how much of the cultural assumptions and<br />

social habits one strips away... by self-reflection... there always remains what I can<br />

best call a constant presence within oneself. So long as you exist, you never cease to<br />

be a presence... That presence itself is what I call faith... You see, it is not faith in<br />

something or about something. It is, if you like, an actual thing. The best way to<br />

describe it is as Irish Roman Catholics do, as The Faith, because they always seem to<br />

be referring to something which abides outside everything, even Roman Catholicism,<br />

and about which they have nothing more to say.<br />

My mother will love this, Dan. A Trinity prod praising the Faith... Hhh!<br />

Is it true?<br />

Ah... A good point... And no faith underlying the media?<br />

No. Not simply that. Faith, as such, would be inappropriate. No. Some other<br />

kind of focal point.<br />

Ah... Truth.<br />

That‘s it in cultural terms. But there would have to be some kind of abiding<br />

exper<strong>ie</strong>nce underlying it.<br />

What would it be?<br />

I don‘t know... Anyway...<br />

Be sure to let me know, Dan... You‘ve aroused my curiosity... Actually, it‘s<br />

damned interesting.<br />

They‘ll publish the lecture... But what I‘ve been talking about will probably<br />

only make up a sentence of two in the paper.<br />

Even so, Dan. I‘d like to read it.<br />

Come to the lecture, why not? It‘s at five. In the first weeks of term. That‘s<br />

about the late middle of October. I‘ll let you know.<br />

Do that... Now... More tea? The roll was dry.<br />

Sure... I‘ll get it... Hold on... Ah... Yes... Tea...<br />

Quick... She was really keen to serve you.<br />

Mmm? Oh... She was doing nothing else.<br />

They were always a sucker for you, Dan. Don‘t be so modest.<br />

53

Maybe... But they‘re suckers for many then... As might be expected...<br />

Huh... How dry!... Anyway, thanks... What do you want to ask me?<br />

Does your family still have that place on the West coast?<br />

Yes. In Renvyle.<br />

Do you ever go down?<br />

Yes. Pretty often. Actually, I‘m going down on Friday for the holiday<br />

weekend.<br />

Next weekend? Is it that soon?<br />

First weekend in August. Tomorrow is the first of August.<br />

Is that so? I wonder if you could do a small thing for me. It won‘t take up<br />

much of your time. If the sky is clear, would you check for jet trails running northsouth<br />

off the coast?<br />

Jet trails?<br />

Yes. I‘ll tell you why when you come back. I don‘t want to prejudice you.<br />

Estimate their height and distance from the coast. Very roughly... Do you have<br />

glasses?<br />

Yes. The old man has a pair down there.<br />

See if you can work out any details of the aircraft.<br />

And that‘s all?<br />

That‘s all... Except, keep this to yourself, will you?<br />

Dan, are you serious? It‘s a hell of a jump from the philosophy of truth to jet<br />

trails off the Connemara coast.<br />

I know. And yes, I am paranoid... Will you do it? I promise it won‘t make you<br />

paranoid.<br />

Of course I‘ll do it... But can‘t you tell me something about it? You‘ve<br />

aroused my curiosity a second time now.<br />

I‘d rather not.<br />

Spy planes? Or aye eff Nimrods searching for Russian submarines?<br />

No. Stop probing... Look, try to check the regularity of the flights, will you?<br />

It‘s incidental, but it might help.<br />

You expect me to see something definite, Dan.<br />

No, Tony. Just look, will you... Now... It‘s almost two... Come on. Go back to<br />

your desk.<br />

Very cute, Dan. You‘ve left this to the very end, so I couldn‘t question you...<br />

What are you up to?<br />

Nothing, Tony. I‘m just curious.<br />

Is it something you picked up around College?<br />

Around College?<br />

There are so many people in the know there.<br />

Know about what, Tony?<br />

Hhh... Fair enough... I‘ll ring you next Tuesday or Wednesday.<br />

Yes... Which way are you going?<br />

Through College... The Customs House... Well, come on... My, but you have<br />

given me some things to think about.<br />

Is your work so boring?<br />

Not too bad... Policy, you know... No. The level of abstraction. Not too much<br />

of it in the civil service... Anyway, how is Charley?<br />

Well. Still recovering from the birth.<br />

It didn‘t take too much out of her, did it?<br />

Not too bad. But it effects the moods afterwards. Like coming down from a<br />

54

high.<br />

Or a hangover?<br />

Yes. In a sense.<br />

And you?<br />

I was just an onlooker after the first few minutes.<br />

As God said... Can I come and see the child? Brian.<br />

Yes... Look, we‘re going to organise a small party. In a few weeks‘ time.<br />

Would you come?<br />

Sure... That‘s a good idea. Launch the child.<br />

Display the heir.<br />

Yes... oh yes... Good for you, Dan... It must be good to have a son.<br />

I suppose so... But once you have him, you have him... You still haven‘t<br />

marr<strong>ie</strong>d?<br />

No.<br />

Anyone?<br />

Not really... I don‘t feel pushed.<br />

It‘s not compulsory... Anyway, I‘ll leave you here. It‘s nice to have seen you<br />

again, Tony... You do look very well.<br />

And you, Dan... Hah... The same Dan... The same earnestness... I‘ll ring you<br />

next week.<br />

Thanks for doing this. It might amount to nothing. Even so, thanks.<br />

Give my regards to Charley and Brian... I look forward to that party... So long.<br />

I will... So long...<br />

e. Actual objects are neither true nor objective.<br />

Epistemology deals with the true and the objective. Note: Frege opposes<br />

epistemology to ontology.<br />

The World:<br />

Correspondence theory – reference proves nothing.<br />

(i) x is a true reference to y only if x is a true reference to y.<br />

(ii) The world of sensation is a flux; it has structure by virtue of the stability of<br />

our thoughts. But it is the validity of these thoughts that produces structure,<br />

not their being. Thus thoughts endure because they are judged to be true.<br />

Men:<br />

Frege: The objective is that which can be grasped by more than one<br />

human being.<br />

This does not mean that the objective is that which is intersubjective.<br />

Rather, the intersubjective is possible because there is objectivity.<br />

Again, the true does not appear in the intersubjective. Rather, the<br />

intersubjective can express the true because (a) each human being can, for<br />

himself, recognise the true, and (b) different human beings can recognise the<br />

same truth. Thus intersubjectivity shows that<br />

(i) human beings possess the same power of judgement.<br />

(ii) human beings judge the same thoughts to be true.<br />

But objectivity does not reside in the true thoughts that are<br />

55

communicated, nor in the recognition by various human beings of their truth.<br />

It l<strong>ie</strong>s rather in the independence of the true from the expression of the thought<br />

or from its reception.<br />

Thus, while the true and the objective is not established in<br />

intersubjectivity, it is not grounded in the utterer or receiver either. In all cases<br />

it is a matter of grasping the true, and objectivity is grasped in the judgement<br />

that the true is independent of our recognition of it.<br />

Thought: Frege: ‗We are not bearers of the thought, as we are bearers<br />

of our ideas.‘<br />

Because judgement is always the assertion of the true, F argues that<br />

truth and falsity are not definable; they are the presuppositions of all thinking<br />

and are recognised silently by all who make judgements.<br />

This impl<strong>ie</strong>s that the truth is related to the positivity of assertion, that<br />

is, that a judgement is made. Falsity, then, is indicated by the absence of<br />

judgement, that is, in the impossibility of judging a particular idea.<br />

If this is the case, then judgement can be described as a response to the<br />

true. Given the distinction between truth and falsity, as between the positive<br />

and the absent (not merely negative), this judgmental response to the true must<br />

be regarded as being involuntary and unavoidable.<br />

However, it could be argued that while the recognition of the true<br />

might be involuntary, this does not mean that the acknowledgement of the<br />

independence of the true from our recognition of it is also involuntary. Our<br />

thinking could remain at the level of ideas, that is, subjective.<br />

Obviously not. By definition, the true is objective. Thus, the<br />

recognition of the true is the judgement itself. This means that the recognition<br />

of the true is simultaneously the recognition of its independence of our<br />

reception of it, that is, of its objectivity.<br />

Frege argues that this immediacy of thought can be shown<br />

phenomenally in two ways: (I) as the constituent of Reason and (II) in the<br />

characteristics of thought.<br />

(I)<br />

I‘m home.<br />

Is it raining again? What a summer... Have you eaten?<br />

No... I‘ll fix something.<br />

There‘s some chicken... stewed... and rice.<br />

I‘m sorry I‘m so late. I wanted to finish work on a topic.<br />

It‘s after nine, Dan.<br />

I know. But... It‘s got to be done, Charley. I mean, it‘s got to be done properly.<br />

But so late? This is supposed to be your rest period... You said last year was<br />

exhausting.<br />

It won‘t be so bad next year. I‘ve got the courses organised now.<br />

You are in danger of becoming a workaholic.<br />

Do you think so? I haven‘t looked at it like that... No. I... Oh.<br />

What?<br />

Nothing. I‘ll get the food...<br />

There are more peppers and greens in the fridge.<br />

56

Got them...<br />

You look very distracted.<br />

I‘ll feel better when I‘ve eaten... I had lunch with Tony Hackett.<br />

How is he?<br />

He‘s getting very bumptious. He laughs at everything.<br />

That‘s very harsh... I‘ve always found him... well, gracious.<br />

That‘s because you are a women. But I see what you mean. There‘s a kind of<br />

ripeness about him... You know? As though something was stored up in him.<br />

A kind of virility? He doesn‘t strike me as being virile... I mean gracious as<br />

suave... but not superficial... Is he homosexual, do you think? He never marr<strong>ie</strong>d.<br />

No. He was no more unsure in that sense than any student... Someone once<br />

told me that he liked older women. Perhaps it‘s a mother thing.<br />

I‘ve heard him mocking his mother. Apparently she‘s very religious. As a<br />

Roman Catholic, I mean... you know, devout. He told me once that she was in love<br />

with the Archbishop of Dublin... I thought he was joking. I asked him why she didn‘t<br />

go to the top... love the Pope, I mean. He said she didn‘t like wops... Hah.<br />

Hhh!<br />

He can be very funny.<br />

Witty... Yes. He asked how you were.<br />

Did he?<br />

I told him about the birth. How long it took. Then he asked me how I had been<br />

affected, and I answered to the effect that I was an onlooker after the first few<br />

minutes. He came back instantly and said that‘s what God said... It wasn‘t until I was<br />

walking out that I realised how good that answer was.<br />

A whole philosophy.<br />

Yes... Actually, there is, when you think about it.<br />

And yet you don‘t seem to like him?<br />

It‘s not a question of liking him.<br />

He was one of your drinking chums at College.<br />

That was different. A kind of esprit de corps. It was more a matter of being<br />

able to share a common thing.<br />

But surely a sense of comradeship must have survived that?<br />

Oh yes... of course... While I was with him I had an image of him at three in<br />

the morning, absolutely off his head, declaiming in that peculiar arch rhetoric of his...<br />

We used to laugh so much... We were off our heads too.<br />

The rumours we heard about those part<strong>ie</strong>s, Dan.<br />

I know.<br />

A magic circle?<br />

That was because of John Nicholson. He seemed so demonic.<br />

Was he? I remember him. He graduated the year I came into College.<br />

Not really. He was really very timid in that way. You know. An Ulster<br />

Anglican. Pseudo aristocratic. Spleen. Very peremptory... No... I‘ve just remembered<br />

something... Tony once said mass... Yes. I remember.<br />

They can‘t do that, can they?<br />

I suppose not... However, he was quite drunk... we all were. He suddenly<br />

announced that he would say mass on the mantel shelf... John got upset. But Peter<br />

Rogers, who is ar cee, was gleeful... As though it was a neat p<strong>ie</strong>ce of revenge... Before<br />

he started, Tony suddenly turned and said he was going to create a miracle...<br />

He must have been very drunk, Dan. That‘s blasphemy.<br />

No. He was like Peter... There was something very wilful in it... you know, as<br />

57

though he was daring someone to do his worse.<br />

How did you feel?<br />

Fairly euphoric, as usual... I seemed to veer off... I suppose I felt as you did<br />

just now... that it was blasphemous... But he told us quite seriously that he was going<br />

to create the miracle. He wanted us to be prepared... John got really upset... It was in<br />

his flat... He began to shout at Tony. Really raging... He had an uncontrollable<br />

streak... But Tony started speaking in Latin... Really pronouncing... like his usual<br />

rhetoric, but seriously... You know, Charley, what you just now called his suavity?<br />

Yes?<br />

Well, like that, I‘d say.<br />

Oh, I can imagine it... Like Canon Foster in Sandycove. I was at a christening<br />

there once.<br />

Not virile... I see what you mean... More like a bullock... I think it was Joyce<br />

who made that comparison.<br />

Yes, that‘s it... Very masculine. But somehow ultimately impotent... Too<br />

masculine really.<br />

Exactly... Anyway... I don‘t know what he said. I don‘t think John did either...<br />

Nor did Peter, for that matter. He just laughed as though it was another skit... But it<br />

qu<strong>ie</strong>tened John... He was in a towering rage, but he sat down... Tony got his glass of<br />

gin and a biscuit and turned back to the mantel shelf... his altar, you see.<br />

Mmm.<br />

He didn‘t say much. I thought he would go through the whole rigmarole... I<br />

think that would have bored us... Instead he murmured in such a way that while we<br />

could hear the Latin vowel sounds, we couldn‘t make out the words. Then he would<br />

genuflect. When he did, we could see the biscuit covering the glass... The he‘d bend<br />

over the shelf... his altar... then raise his hands up. All the time he muttered his Latin...<br />

Actually, it was perfectly timed... There‘s a spoiled actor in him... Suddenly he turned<br />

and stared at each of us in an intense way... My spine tingled. Nicholson jumped in<br />

his seat... He slowly spread his arms out until he was cruciform... It was suddenly<br />

very terrifying...<br />

Dan...<br />

Yes? Okay... I‘m remembering. I remember I was suddenly cold sober... I<br />

couldn‘t move. I began to shiver and every fear I‘ve ever had came back to me... It<br />

was like a bad dope trip I had once... I felt absolutely helpless and miserable. Fear was<br />

like a great hole in me... I wanted to leave the room, but I couldn‘t move... Then Tony<br />

relaxed and turned back to the shelf... It was well-judged, Charley. I had felt terrif<strong>ie</strong>d<br />

while he was facing us. But he seemed to control it. When he turned away I suddenly<br />

felt so alone... and I mean alone... The fear and emptiness were like nothing compared<br />

with that loneliness... It‘s funny... I can feel it again now.<br />

Dan. Please.<br />

No... It‘s alright, Charley... It‘s vicarious... Memory... Tony genuflected again<br />

and of course I saw the glass and biscuit... Obviously I transferred my attention on to<br />

those... It worked... Such a feeling of return, as it were, I had... Then Tony said loudly,<br />

This is my body, which is sacrificed for your salvation, and raised the biscuit over his<br />

head in the way the pr<strong>ie</strong>st does... But before I could respond... and I wasn‘t sure how<br />

to respond... he lowered it and genuflected... You know that gin and tonic is not quite<br />

colourless, as vodka is... well, the glass and the gin seemed as solid as a crystal... Like<br />

a <strong>stone</strong>... a gem... but there was a slice of lemon in it... the yellow was brilliant and<br />

curiously blinding... As expected, Tony spoke loudly, this time referring to the blood.<br />

He elevated the glass... and... uh...<br />

58

now...<br />

And?<br />

Oh... I‘m not sure how much is from memory and how much I‘m adding to it<br />

It did happen?<br />

Oh yes, Charley... I wouldn‘t fool you... Perhaps I should leave it. It really was<br />

a small incident... I can‘t even remember when it happened. I mean, which year... or<br />

even month... And I had forgotten all about it until a few minutes ago.<br />

What was it about the glass, Dan? Tell me.<br />

Okay... I‘m trying to remember... The glass was like a <strong>stone</strong>... You know how<br />

some crystals have a bluish tinge?..<br />

Like that... And the lemon was glowing... Yes... It was a kind of shock when<br />

he actually lifted it and said it was his blood... I mean, if it had been red wine... which<br />

the pr<strong>ie</strong>sts use... well, the analogy would have held... Do you see, Charley? In order<br />

that the... as it were... identification... were to hold, we... me anyway... had to bring<br />

the two things together... I mean, the idea of blood and that crystal... This all<br />

happened very quickly, Charley.<br />

What happened, for goodness sake?<br />

Oh... I brought them together alright... It just made sense... I‘m sure I even<br />

said yes in that obvious kind of way... You know when someone tells you something<br />

which he thinks is going to surprise or shock you and instead you find it ordinary and<br />

commonplace... well, like that... Just so...<br />

You were obviously drunk enough for anything to make sense.<br />

Not drunk, Charley... My mind was crystal clear... Ha... Crystal clear... I... I<br />

had better finish this, Charley.<br />

Leave it if you want to, Dan. You‘ve told me enough.<br />

But I haven‘t told you it all... Tony went back to muttering again, with his<br />

arms outstretched. That broke the tension. I began to relax... Then I got the most<br />

colossal shock.<br />

What?<br />

Don‘t you see? It was obvious. The shock was a shock of recognition... The<br />

blood was like the crystal.<br />

How do you mean, Dan?<br />

Just that, Charley... I can‘t explain it any better than that... The blood was like<br />

the blue crystal which had a brilliant yellow light in it.<br />

Sounds like a marble I had as a child.<br />

You are disappointed? Yes, of course... You would be... For me then it was<br />

obvious. But for you now it is either totally obscure or totally commonplace... Yes... It<br />

was actually a kind of mystical exper<strong>ie</strong>nce.<br />

But what does it mean to say that blood is like a blue and yellow crystal?<br />

Just that, Charley... A blue crystal with a yellow light in it.<br />

But it makes no sense, Dan.<br />

I can understand that... Of course it was fortuitous. I mean what if we had been<br />

drinking whiskey. Perhaps the blood then would have appeared to be like a golden<br />

crystal. Or stout?<br />

You are laughing.<br />

Yes... There was no fundamental truth in it, Charley.<br />

The power of suggestion?<br />

Indeed... Anything can be made to appear true... That‘s faith.<br />

Faith? Did you have faith in Tony? Surely not... That would be blasphemous.<br />

No. He aroused or created faith in me... Or theatrical... Suspension of<br />

59

disbel<strong>ie</strong>f.<br />

But the shock of recognition afterwards, Dan?<br />

Yes. That was true. I did exper<strong>ie</strong>nce that.<br />

How do you explain that?<br />

As I did then. As though I was... or my mind or understanding was... jumping<br />

from one level to another.<br />

From a mystical level?<br />

Something like that.<br />

Mmm... What happened then?<br />

You seem satisf<strong>ie</strong>d by that explanation.<br />

It makes sense in a way... Theoretically... The mystical would be like that...<br />

But what happened afterwards? How did the others react?<br />

Oh... Tony suddenly turned towards us. He had the glass in his hand and the<br />

biscuit lay on it. He seemed very merry and benevolent... I think I was still shocked<br />

and I felt very lucid and... pure... He put the glass on the coffee table between us,<br />

deliberately broke the biscuit... it was a plain round biscuit... and gave us each a<br />

p<strong>ie</strong>ce... When he put his share in his mouth, we followed suit. Then he sipped the gin<br />

in the glass and handed it to John... I think that was deliberate... though he was on<br />

Tony‘s right. John sipped it, looking very pale and downcast... Then I drank, then<br />

Peter... I remember I was struck by the silence. I felt very reassured.<br />

You mean because you drank from the glass? Like Communion?<br />

No... That simply made sense too. I felt very close to the others... The silence<br />

just filled me with reassurance... That‘s all.<br />

Didn‘t anyone say anything about it?<br />

No... We sat around being very qu<strong>ie</strong>t and still... The way one does after<br />

smoking dope or after sex... You know what I mean.<br />

Yes.<br />

No one ever mentioned it afterwards... As a group, I mean... I once asked Peter<br />

about Tony... After we had graduated... I thought he might have an insider opinion...<br />

being a Roman Catholic too... I wouldn‘t ask John...<br />

What did Peter say?<br />

He laughed and said that Tony was a headcase when he got drunk.<br />

Is that all?<br />

Yes. Perhaps he wasn‘t going to tell me anything... Yet he didn‘t seem to be<br />

holding anything back... Actually, I think Peter was familiar with that kind of<br />

mentality... Again because he was ar cee.<br />

And you had forgotten about it until tonight?<br />

In detail, yes... I think I remembered it as Tony saying mass... along with other<br />

memor<strong>ie</strong>s. You know the way memor<strong>ie</strong>s rise spontaneously... It just seemed part of<br />

his general mockery.<br />

It‘s very remarkable, Dan.<br />

Set the scene and I suppose it could be done anywhere.<br />

Well, then, the fact that it could be done... I mean, if one wanted to do it.<br />

Yes, I see what you mean... But I daresay you would need someone like Tony<br />

to stage it.<br />

Mmm.<br />

No?<br />

Is he that unusual?<br />

Not really. In some ways he is quite mediocre. Today, for instance, he looked<br />

just like a middling senior civil servant with a relatively influential position... He was<br />

60

wearing a fairly expensive-looking suit.<br />

Yet he had that effect...<br />

But it‘s done in many ways every day, Charley... I‘ve just realised that...<br />

Music... Teenagers screaming at pop concerts. Freaking out at a rock gig.<br />

But that‘s hysteria.<br />

It‘s not always done to the same end, Charley. Anyway... There are Roman<br />

Catholic masses every day... And their miracles.<br />

Are you serious?<br />

Why not?<br />

But how?<br />

Same thing. Mood. Expectation... Tony did tell us that he was going to<br />

perform a miracle. And we all knew enough to assume he was going to parody the ar<br />

cee service... Then ritual gesture and action.<br />

But blasphemy, Dan... That‘s evil.<br />

What is blasphemous depends on what is accepted doctrine. It‘s not<br />

necessarily evil in itself. Only in intention... And Tony‘s intention wasn‘t evil... He‘s<br />

a mocker but he‘s hardly evil, is he?<br />

No... Perhaps he should have been a clergyman.<br />

Yes. So many of them are like that... It demonstrates the strength of the<br />

influence.<br />

All that ritual... But it was interesting... The rumours were true after all.<br />

Not really. That only happened once... At least I think so.<br />

You‘re not sure?<br />

As sure as I can be... Perhaps we suppress a lot of memor<strong>ie</strong>s... Like your<br />

dream.<br />

Dream? Oh that... Yes, of course... I don‘t have it anymore.<br />

No? But you had it for so long.<br />

I know... But I haven‘t had it since we spoke about it... Since I told you about<br />

it.<br />

Strange... Perhaps you broke the spell.<br />

In what way?<br />

Oh, speaking about it brought it to consciousness... Something like that.<br />

Just as well. It was very draining.<br />

I‘m glad in that case... How do you feel this evening?<br />

You mean after last night? I think it was the music... Maire is usually such<br />

good company... Strauss seemed very depressing... But I feel fine now, Dan... Don‘t<br />

worry about me. I‘m fine.<br />

Yes. I daresay you have to recover after a birth. I mean the hormones and<br />

moods while you were pregnant.<br />

Yes. It‘s like coming ashore from a stormy sea... But you ought to go to bed<br />

now, Dan. You need rest... You are working very hard on that paper.<br />

Let‘s... I‘m glad you feel well, Charley.<br />

Oh Dan. You are considerate... I had never thought that important... But you<br />

are such a help.<br />

Perhaps that‘s the role of the man in a situation like this. You know, steady as<br />

a rock.<br />

Seas. Rocks... Not so academic.<br />

No. It isn‘t... But then it‘s not an academic subject.<br />

Thank goodness you haven‘t been filled with academic dust yet.<br />

Yet? I know of two history dons who are model family men.<br />

61

Yes. But they are not famous academics either.<br />

They are good teachers.<br />

That‘s true... Come on... Let‘s go.<br />

I‘ll check the locks... There... Is he asleep?<br />

Yes...<br />

So at peace with himself.<br />

But he has a personality already, Dan... I feel I know him so well... You know,<br />

he doesn‘t like being put face down.<br />

Wants to face the world.<br />

It‘s so easy to think that one‘s child is... has the potential for greatness.<br />

Perhaps that‘s love.<br />

Yes. One always wants the best for one‘s loved ones. Don‘t you feel that?<br />

He‘ll do what he wants in the long run.<br />

Oh... You mean we mightn‘t know what is best for him?<br />

To an extent we should. But when he has grown up, then he should choose for<br />

himself.<br />

You‘ve thought of that already, Dan?<br />

Yes. By the time he was an hour old I was thinking about that.<br />

Isn‘t that very abstract? He is your son.<br />

He is. I know that so well. But he is also as you said yourself a distinct person.<br />

Perhaps that is because you are a man. But for me he is not distinct.<br />

So long as you don‘t restrict him, Charley. After all, he‘ll be a man too.<br />

No man can live without love, Dan... You know that very well.<br />

You mean a mother‘s love... My mother is dead.<br />

But not really, Dan... Memor<strong>ie</strong>s... Perhaps it is transferred.<br />

To Alice?<br />

Alice? I‘m a mother now, Dan.<br />

Oh no. I hear Mister Freud in the offing... I am your first son and my son is my<br />

younger brother... Charley, that makes me my own father... And that makes you my<br />

wife and mother... and daughter. Your father is dead... Pretty complicated, isn‘t it?<br />

Go to sleep, Dan.<br />

Just be my wife, Charley.<br />

Oh go to sleep.<br />

What‘s wrong? Alice?... You are jealous.<br />

Hers was the first name that came to you, Dan.<br />

God but you‘re possessive, Charley.<br />

Go away.<br />

No.<br />

Oh... Oh Dan. You just don‘t understand... Sometimes I wish you wouldn‘t<br />

think so much.<br />

Mmm.<br />

That‘s right. Go to sleep... But you don‘t understand, Dan.<br />

THURSDAY<br />

62

You‘re not asleep?<br />

What time is it?<br />

Just after three... I‘m going to feed Brian... Can‘t you sleep?<br />

I did for a while. But my mind refuses to switch off. Concatenation...<br />

Are you worrying about something?<br />

No... my mind is thinking.<br />

About what?<br />

Truth.<br />

You are letting that paper get in on you, Dan.<br />

Not just the paper... So many things.<br />

You sound spaced out, Dan.<br />

I am... oh... Truth thinks me, Charley.<br />

Tell it to go to sleep then.<br />

It never sleeps... When I try to think rationally about it, Charley, it spreads out<br />

beyond words... It‘s immense.<br />

You are spaced out... Go to sleep.<br />

Recognition is the key, Charley. You only have to be able to see it.<br />

You‘re thinking about Tony‘s miracle.<br />

That too... Concatenation... But everything points to it... Frege said that we can<br />

only assert the truth... It‘s always there...<br />

Dan... I must get up... Brian is awake...<br />

Yes... Do...<br />

Go to sleep, darling... Please.<br />

Thanks... Yes...<br />

(I) Frege: ‗By objectivity I mean independence from our sensing, intuiting,<br />

and imagining and from the constitution of internal pictures from memor<strong>ie</strong>s of<br />

earl<strong>ie</strong>r sensations, but not independent from Reason; to say what things are<br />

like independent of Reason would be to judge without judging, to wash the fur<br />

without wetting it.‘<br />

Here F uses the earl<strong>ie</strong>r argument about objectivity – up to a point. He<br />

now details those elements of the mind from which objectivity is independent.<br />

Then he indicates the element from which it is not independent: Reason. But<br />

notice that the first list is a list of mental activit<strong>ie</strong>s, while that element from<br />

which objectivity is not independent is not referred to in the active mode.<br />

Objectivity is not independent from Reason; F does not say that it is not<br />

independent of reasoning. Thus at this stage, objectivity is connected with a<br />

‗state‘ of the mind, not with a mental activity.<br />

But the second part of the sentence has a different import, though<br />

presumably it is intended to clarify or instance what is asserted in the first part.<br />

F now talks about ‗things‘ and not objectivity, implying that ‗things‘ and<br />

objectivity are identical. They are not. Objectivity is of the true, and ‗things‘<br />

are true only in judgement, not in themselves.<br />

So how should this clause be interpreted?<br />

Two ways:<br />

(a) Interpret it thus: ‗to say what objectivity is like independent of Reason<br />

63

would be to judge without judging.‘ On the basis of F‘s earl<strong>ie</strong>r arguments<br />

(above) this is of course true. Now, F is here describing what it is ‗to judge<br />

without judging‘, that is, it is impossible to say what objectivity is like<br />

independent of Reason. On the basis of this negative argument, what then does<br />

it mean ‗to judge‘? It is to say what objectivity is; that it is, in the context of<br />

this particular argument, not independent of Reason. While this seems merely<br />

to repeat the burden of the first part of the sentence, in fact it adds an<br />

important point. To the extent that judgement is about objectivity, it is also<br />

about Reason. Given the assertion that objectivity is not independent of<br />

Reason, it would seem then that judgement must have a relation to Reason<br />

similar to the relation it is said to have with truth and objectivity. It is not clear<br />

what this relation is. (1) On the one hand, it could be that Reason, truth and<br />

objectivity are related as truth and objectivity are, in the sense that there<br />

cannot be a truth that is not simultaneously objective, and vice versa. (2) On<br />

the other hand, Reason could be related to judgement, to the extent that the act<br />

of judgement must always have some essential relation with Reason, so that it<br />

is this relation between judgement and Reason which makes possible the<br />

recognition of the true and objective.<br />

(b) Let the clause stand as it is: ‗to say what things are like independent of<br />

Reason would be to judge without judging.‘ Superficially, this statement says<br />

that ‗things‘ have no objectivity in themselves, which according to F‘s earl<strong>ie</strong>r<br />

argument is true. Only the true is objective; and the true is not an element of<br />

propositions judged to be true. But this is so evident that it can hardly be the<br />

burden of this clarifying or instancing clause. There must be more to it. Notice<br />

that F refers to ‗things‘ here in terms of their relation to Reason. Obviously he<br />

is not referring to perceptible ‗things‘ out in the world (which I have been<br />

assuming). Rather he is referring to mental ‗things‘. In that case, what F is<br />

saying is this: ‗things‘ are independent of the list of mental activit<strong>ie</strong>s given in<br />

the first part of the sentence, but not independent of Reason. Thus these things<br />

have a status similar to that of objectivity. It too is independent of the listed<br />

mental activit<strong>ie</strong>s but not of Reason. Thus these ‗things‘ can be said to be<br />

objective ‗things‘. Therefore they can also be called true ‗things‘. But they are<br />

not the true, for ‗things‘ must be judged to be true, they are not merely true in<br />

themselves. Now F‘s reference to judgement in this clause becomes clear. He<br />

is saying that in order to judge ‗things‘, they cannot be independent of Reason.<br />

So, whatever about the problem of the relation between Reason, judgement<br />

and objectivity ((1)(2) above), it is clear that those things which are judged are<br />

not independent of Reason, that is, they have an intimate relation with Reason.<br />

A number of conclusions proceed from this:<br />

1. In order that a judgement be made, ‗things‘ must be dependent on Reason.<br />

2. While a judgement has a relation with Reason, to the extent that the ‗things‘<br />

it judges are dependent on Reason, it is not clear that judgement itself is<br />

dependent on Reason.<br />

3. Similarly, while objectivity is not independent of Reason, it is not clear if<br />

objectivity is judgeable because it is dependent on Reason, as ‗things‘ are, or<br />

if objectivity is dependent on Reason because objectivity can only be<br />

recognised by judgement in Reason and nowhere else, that is, objectivity is not<br />

independent of Reason in the sense that it is possible to recognise it there only.<br />

Note: To the extent that F is here attempting to site objectivity with reference<br />

to human exper<strong>ie</strong>nce, the fact that objectivity is related uniquely to Reason,<br />

64

and that Reason, as a state, has no (at present) discernible relation to the<br />

mental activit<strong>ie</strong>s, means that Reason is in danger of sharing with objectivity<br />

and truth that status of opposition to the phenomenal which he gives to the<br />

latter. In other words, though a new term, which is intended to explain<br />

something about the relations between mental activit<strong>ie</strong>s, ‗things‘, and<br />

objectivity, it is in danger of becoming a kind of metaphor for ‗objectivity‘<br />

and ‗truth‘, that is, a translation of those terms. This suspicion is reinforced by<br />

the consideration that though things cannot be judged unless they are<br />

intimately related to Reason, they cannot be dependent upon Reason unless<br />

they are already judged to be objective, for it is objectivity which is not<br />

independent of Reason. Thus these ‗things‘ are definitionally objective, hence<br />

they have been judged already.<br />

(Note: This analysis shows that the question of the relationship between<br />

judgement and Reason has not yet been answered.)<br />

Lotty... Come in, dear.<br />

How are you, mother?<br />

As you can see, dear... You‘re lucky you didn‘t call earl<strong>ie</strong>r. I‘ve only just<br />

come in... Brian!... Oh let me take him, Lotty... There... He looks so well today... He‘s<br />

so alert, dear... Look... When I speak his eyes rivet on my mouth... You speak, Lotty.<br />

Do... He‘ll look at you... Do.<br />

He watches everything, mother. And...<br />

See!... The way his head swivelled around... What big blue eyes you have,<br />

dear... Oh I could smother you, pet... I could cuddle and cuddle him, Lotty dear... Oh<br />

what‘s wrong?<br />

Oh nothing, mother... Don‘t look like that... so guilty... I‘ve never seen you so<br />

affectionate, mother. It‘s amazing in some way.<br />

But I was just as silly over you, dear. You don‘t remember, that‘s all... it‘s so<br />

easy to love a baby... Isn‘t it, pet? He is so beautiful and... joyous... Look at him,<br />

Lotty... He knows we are talking about him... Look at how his eyes dance. And I can<br />

feel his little legs go.<br />

Do you think so? Dan says he understands everything he hears.<br />

Does he? Coooo-coo. He‘s laughing now. They understand alright, Lotty...<br />

You were so sensitive as a baby, do you know that? You were all eyes...<br />

And Dan says too that he can communicate with us, mother. What do you<br />

think of that?<br />

But he can‘t talk... Oh they laugh and cry...<br />

I think Dan means something like telepathy.<br />

What‘s that, dear?<br />

Mind to mind contact. The thoughts are passed from mind to mind without<br />

speech.<br />

I‘ve never heard of such a thing, Lotty... Does it happen?<br />

They say it does between people who are very close.<br />

Do you and Dan do it?<br />

I think I can always tell his moods... Sometimes we find we think of the same<br />

thing at the same time... But we don‘t talk to one another like that.<br />

I know what you mean... Come in out of the hall, dear... We‘ll have some<br />

65

coffee... And I‘ll find something for you, pet... Yes I will... I will... Oh Lotty, he<br />

laughs so easily... It‘s good that he is so good-humoured. It will make his life so much<br />

eas<strong>ie</strong>r...<br />

Will I take him?<br />

No... Unless you want to... Oh, you‘ll have to...<br />

I‘ll make the coffee if you like...<br />

I‘ll do it, dear... Here... Back to your mommy, Brian... Sit down, dear... Now...<br />

I could always tell what Victor was thinking, Lotty... Sometimes while we were<br />

talking he would suddenly tell me that he had been thinking about what we were<br />

talking about. He said I often gave him answers to his problems in that way... I never<br />

thought very much about that. I just thought it was nice to be able to help him... Is that<br />

what you mean, Lotty?<br />

I think so. But that sounds more like what they call intuition... I think by<br />

telepathy...<br />

Telepathy... Telepathy... Is that the word? I must remember that. Telepathy.<br />

Anyway they seem to mean that one talks without speaking, if you see what I<br />

mean.<br />

Oh yes... Talking without words...<br />

No, mother. Without speaking... You‘d still have to use words... At least I<br />

think so.<br />

Perhaps we could use pictures. No?<br />

I don‘t know, mother. They are not as precise... I mean, some thoughts<br />

couldn‘t be conveyed in pictures... You know, abstract thoughts... You could ask<br />

someone to do something, certainly. Transmit a picture of the thing or the action...<br />

But how could you say you were happy? Or that you liked something?<br />

Oh yes... Wait... You could surround it with a loving light.<br />

How?<br />

Oh. Just imagine it... Brian... I look at him and picture a light around him...<br />

Yes. There.<br />

My goodness!<br />

What is it, Lotty?<br />

He kicked... Brian kicked when you looked at him.<br />

Did he? See?<br />

But he can‘t see you, mother. You are behind him.<br />

Well then...<br />

But he must have heard his name.<br />

Brian!... Did he kick, dear?<br />

No... But his eyes widened... Perhaps it was a shock the first time.<br />

You are very sceptical, Lotty... I mean, you are the one who mentioned it...<br />

telepathy... yes... in the first place... You see, it does work... I mean, if you really<br />

mean it.<br />

But you could transmit false pictures in the same way as words can be false.<br />

But not feelings, Lotty... You can never fool anyone about feelings.<br />

People are fooled, mother. Think of all the people who think they are loved<br />

when they are not... Or who bel<strong>ie</strong>ve others are sincere when they are not.<br />

No. I don‘t agree, dear... People who are fooled like that want to be fooled...<br />

Even if they are hurt... or cheated?<br />

Perhaps it is something else they want. They are prepared to be hurt in order to<br />

get it.<br />

Are you serious?<br />

66

Yes... Here you are... Only biscuits I‘m afraid...<br />

Digestives... As usual, mother.<br />

Oh I know... But you always ate them anyway, Lotty... The other kinds are so<br />

sweet and cloying.<br />

I‘m teasing you, mother. If you gave me anything else I would be almost<br />

shocked.<br />

Well, they are good... Now, have some coffee... Oh, do you want to put Brian<br />

down?<br />

I‘ll put him on the rug where he can see us.<br />

Is that clean enough?<br />

He‘s swaddled in clothes, mother... I daresay it‘s no worse than lying in an<br />

armchair.<br />

If you think so, then do it...<br />

Now... Ah... It‘s beautiful coffee, mother.<br />

The secret is to grind only what you need. In that way it‘s always fresh.<br />

I know... We don‘t use ground coffee regularly.<br />

You should buy a grinder. They‘re very good value.<br />

Yes. I‘ll mention it to Dan... Now... About people being hurt? I find it<br />

incredible that people would willingly suffer pain... Though I remember at College it<br />

was said that Violet Summers was a masochist... I mean her boyfr<strong>ie</strong>nd beat her... That<br />

was... oh... perhaps I shouldn‘t...<br />

Yes, dear. Don‘t if you feel you shouldn‘t...<br />

You might know his family... It would be better if I didn‘t.<br />

I understand, Lotty... And I know of some too... One would really shock you...<br />

Never mind... It is distasteful... So much misery, Lotty... But I was going to tell you a<br />

story, actually... Kenneth Ross told me... He was an intern in the Meath at the time...<br />

and this woman was brought in who had been beaten up by her husband. Her jaw was<br />

broken, black eyes, mouth bleeding. She was a terrible sight apparently... Well, they<br />

took care of her... she was in her fift<strong>ie</strong>s and it seems that this had happened before...<br />

When they had treated her, it was thought best to admit her for a few days. They told<br />

her it was for observation but really it was to give her a rest... Anyway, she refused to<br />

stay. They asked her where she could go... it was four in the morning... and she said<br />

home of course. Needless to say, they were shocked to hear this. One of the nurses<br />

asked her how she could think to go back to such a brutal man. The women asked the<br />

nurse if she was marr<strong>ie</strong>d. When the nurse said no, the woman said, I‘ve got a man and<br />

he knows I am there... You see, Lotty. What she was saying was that she wasn‘t<br />

lonely.<br />

Perhaps loneliness might be preferable, mother.<br />

In her case it wasn‘t... And so many others endure so much pain and<br />

humiliation in order not to be alone.<br />

To get attention, mother.<br />

Yes. To get attention, Lotty... But you sound so... well... superior about it. You<br />

are lucky, dear. You have never exper<strong>ie</strong>nced such loneliness.<br />

Have you?<br />

Not really... It must be very deep... In childhood no doubt.<br />

But you were lonely as a child... In Ravenna.<br />

Yes, dear. I was lonely. But I didn‘t feel lonely... I had mother and Camilla.<br />

When I was on my own I could always look forward to seeing one of them... you see,<br />

dear, I knew I was loved... even by Daddy, though he went away... Even if you are not<br />

seen by those who love you, you know they think of you always.<br />

67

Oh mother... I know what you mean.<br />

Yes dear. I know you do... now. Have some more coffee and let us talk about<br />

something more pleasant... Pain and violence are so depressing... I mean when one<br />

can do nothing about it. Like... Oh Brian... See how he watches us, Lotty.<br />

He‘s been watching us all the time, mother... He keeps flexing his fingers.<br />

Perhaps he doesn‘t like being ignored.<br />

Oh we‘re not ignoring him... he doesn‘t like too much attention really. He can<br />

get testy if you handle him too much.<br />

But I didn‘t give him anything, Lotty.<br />

He‘s really too young yet, mother.<br />

Are you sure? It‘s a shame not to give him a treat. After all, we have our<br />

coffee... Perhaps he would like Something. A p<strong>ie</strong>ce of biscuit perhaps.<br />

I don‘t think so... I‘ll feed him in an hour.<br />

I‘ll tell you what, Lotty. Let‘s ask him... Mmm?<br />

Oh mother, you really are silly over him.<br />

Why not, dear? He has captivated me... now, I‘ll ask him...<br />

Are you using words?<br />

Why yes... I asked him if he wanted a treat.<br />

Just like that? Hah... And has he answered? I expect he will say, Oh yes.<br />

Children are so greedy if... uh...<br />

What it is, Lotty? Is it Brian?<br />

No... Strange... Oh...<br />

Lotty!<br />

Goosepimples, mother... It‘s eer<strong>ie</strong>...<br />

What is? Oh, what is wrong with you, Lotty? Don‘t stare so.<br />

I‘m sorry, mother... I... It‘s quite ordinary... I had a pang... The coffee... it is<br />

strong. But as I had the pang I remembered how Brian used to kick while I was<br />

carrying him... It‘s the association that surprised me.<br />

Brian? He‘s looking at you, Lotty... I‘ve never heard the likes... You never did<br />

anything like that.<br />

That‘s because... well, Dan says that you must allow it to happen.<br />

Allow it? Allow what, Lotty?<br />

I suppose he meant be receptive... you know, allow the possibility... But it is<br />

farfetched.<br />

But you were mocking him, Lotty... You said he was greedy, after all.<br />

Yes... Well, obviously he is not... But you don‘t think he caused it to happen,<br />

do you?<br />

Perhaps you did what Dan said. Perhaps you allowed it to happen.<br />

Well, I won‘t... Oh...<br />

Brian!... Oh darling... come to Nanna... Here... Lotty?<br />

I‘ll take him... Yes... Oh sweetheart...<br />

He knew, Lotty... He knew you were going to cut him... He did.<br />

There now, sweetheart... Oh no... Oh no... Oh, he‘s so sensitive, mother... It‘s<br />

impossible. I can‘t be that sensitive. I try. I do... But he is so pure in his senses...<br />

Hush, dear... He‘ll understand... I‘ve always said that children are wiser than<br />

we think... He will understand... See? His hand...<br />

Yes... Oh Brian... You are too fine... I... Oh mother. It‘s so sad...<br />

But he is bright again... Look... Aren‘t you, pet? You understand, don‘t you?<br />

You see, Lotty? He kicked...<br />

But you don‘t understand, mother... It will never be the same again.<br />

68

Nonsense... If that is the worse thing that will ever happen to him he‘s lucky...<br />

Isn‘t that right, Brian pet?<br />

No, mother... It‘s innocence... It‘s like purity, mother... You can never repair<br />

its loss... I‘ve been so careless...<br />

You couldn‘t help it, dear... I mean it was bound to happen sooner or later.<br />

But it has happened, mother... Mother, I‘ve destroyed his innocence...<br />

Don‘t be silly, dear... You are putting it out of all proportion... Look at him,<br />

Lotty... Brian forgives you, I‘m sure of it... It‘s not such a tragedy.<br />

I‘ve spoiled it... He is in my care, mother.<br />

Lotty, oh Lotty... It‘s only a small thing.<br />

But he trusted me... I know it.<br />

You shouldn‘t take it so much to heart... I know you haven‘t had him for long<br />

and you are unsure of yourself with him, but he is another individual, Lotty... He has<br />

to learn sometime.<br />

But not me, mother... Not because of me.<br />

You can‘t keep him from growing up, Lotty... That‘s the nature of things... If<br />

you knew the number of times I cr<strong>ie</strong>d over the sill<strong>ie</strong>st little thing that happened to<br />

you, dear... Now, go and freshen yourself. You look so wretched... It will be alright,<br />

dear. I promise you... Now, kiss Brian and go up.<br />

Yes, mother.<br />

You see? He does forgive you... He‘s a good person, Lotty. Remember that...<br />

He is. I feel it... Come on, pet. Come to Nanna... Now l<strong>ie</strong> back there. Your mommy is<br />

very sorry and quite upset. You saw that, didn‘t you? And you are man enough to<br />

forgive her... Good boy... There... I‘ll give you a kiss as a treat... You kicked... You<br />

are stronger than your mommy wants to think you are, aren‘t you? Yes... Oh. You<br />

were quick, Lotty.<br />

We must go soon, mother. Brian will want to be fed.<br />

Are you still breast-feeding him?<br />

Yes.<br />

You could do it here, if you want.<br />

No, I‘ll go back to Carlisle Avenue... I must prepare dinner.<br />

Lotty, how are...<br />

I‘m better now, mother. Honest. I‘ll are right... It is just one of those things...<br />

I‘m not used to being a mother yet.<br />

You are doing very well, dear. To judge by Brian, anyone would agree... But<br />

don‘t take it so seriously... Brian is more robust than you think... Bab<strong>ie</strong>s are, you<br />

know... I remember Victor used to tease me because I worr<strong>ie</strong>d over you. About the<br />

smallest thing... He thought I was an awful fusspot...<br />

Dan is the same... He‘s very caval<strong>ie</strong>r with Brian. I think he treats him like one<br />

of his gang... You know, esprit de corps.<br />

That‘s the way... If you take him too seriously he‘ll do the same... You don‘t<br />

want him to be a moper, do you?<br />

No... Oh mother, you are right... You are wise in your own way.<br />

Of course, Lotty. I‘ve had the exper<strong>ie</strong>nce, you know.<br />

Don‘t be so huffy... Oh, let me kiss you... There... Come on, Brian. Home for<br />

you, and dinner...<br />

Oh... He‘s wet.<br />

Are you?<br />

No...<br />

Those new disposable things are effective... At least at first... They say it is a<br />

69

sign of affection if a baby wets himself while you are holding him. Did you know<br />

that?<br />

Ha. Then they must be very affectionate.<br />

I daresay... Where you in town?<br />

Yes... How did you know?<br />

The Switzers bag at the foot of the stairs.<br />

A scarf... I wanted to get a dress. But I saw nothing I liked... Clothes are very<br />

much the same nowadays.<br />

It was a good idea, mother. It is so sunny.<br />

Yes. But the wind is very cool... You feel it in the shade.<br />

Yes. Today is the first day of autumn and still no summer.<br />

We had two good summers, Lotty, and we can‘t really expect three in a row.<br />

I suppose so. But it is so awful this year.<br />

There is always next year, dear.<br />

Mañana... Will you come over on Sunday for dinner?<br />

It‘s the holiday weekend. Tom is taking me down to some place outside<br />

Galway. An hotel. He says it is right on the sea and surrounded by mountains...<br />

Doesn‘t that sound beautiful?<br />

It does... Is it in the Burren?<br />

No. I think it is in County Galway... Tom always calls it the West... You<br />

know, in England they call it the West Country and in America the West Coast. Here<br />

we say the West. It makes it sound absolutely immense. As though it were another<br />

land altogether.<br />

Must be Connemara then... I‘ve never been.<br />

You and Dan should go away for a few days soon. Before the days close in...<br />

You could both do with a break.<br />

I know... The birth threw everything out... But we can‘t really travel with<br />

Brian.<br />

Dan has the house near Annestown still, hasn‘t he? His grandfather‘s house?<br />

You could stay there for a week or so... It‘s so lovely there, Lotty... The time Tom and<br />

I stayed with you there. The year before last... The sea was so blue... It reminded me<br />

of the Adriatic.<br />

I‘ll mention it to Dan. But he‘s so t<strong>ie</strong>d up with this lecture he has to give in<br />

October... It would take a lot of preparation. It has been closed up all summer... since<br />

June... And the weather has been so bad.<br />

But think about it, dear... Have you no plans for the weekend?<br />

I didn‘t know it was the holiday. I don‘t think Dan does either.<br />

You are both so out of touch... You ought to go out more. You know I‘ll mind<br />

Brian for you.<br />

Yes. I know... We really ought to go out. But I suppose we are both so t<strong>ie</strong>d<br />

up... I‘m drifting... But I like it. It won‘t last long, mother... But I do like the<br />

sensation.<br />

I know the feeling, dear... Still, you ought to get back into the run of things<br />

soon.<br />

Yes. I will, no doubt... By October... I‘ll go now. Thank you for the coffee<br />

and... the chat. It was nice.<br />

I‘m glad... And don‘t fret so, Lotty. You are not the first woman to become a<br />

mother.<br />

I know, I know. But it‘s like the first time for all mothers, I expect.<br />

I daresay... Now let me kiss you both... He is sweet, Lotty... Don‘t be afraid<br />

70

for him. He is good.<br />

I know... Are you going out tonight?<br />

I don‘t know. Tom is up in Belfast today. He said he would get back about<br />

nine... perhaps we will go for a drink. Down to Killiney... Take care on the road, dear.<br />

The rush hour will be starting soon... Goodbye, pet... Take care of yourself, Lotty<br />

dear.<br />

I will, mother. Don‘t worry about me.<br />

I always worry about you, Lotty. You are still my daughter... Goodbye... Take<br />

care...<br />

Oh mother...<br />

I‘ll ring you before we go...<br />

Frege says elsewhere: ‗We are concerned in arithmetic with objects<br />

that are known to us not through the mediations of the senses, as something<br />

al<strong>ie</strong>n, from outside, but with objects that are immediately given to Reason and<br />

which Reason can see through completely as its most characteristic<br />

possession.‘ Here Frege is describing the reception of objects – that is,<br />

objective ‗things‘ – by Reason. In this account we are given to understand that<br />

(a) objects are not known through the mediation of the senses; that is, they are<br />

not al<strong>ie</strong>n or external;<br />

(b) they are immediately given to Reason;<br />

(c) Reason ‗sees through‘ them completely;<br />

(d) they are Reason‘s most characteristic possession.<br />

(a) and (b) are linked as opposed theor<strong>ie</strong>s of the source of objects. Frege first<br />

den<strong>ie</strong>s the prevailing theory that makes sensation the only source of<br />

knowledge. F has already argued that knowledge derived from the senses<br />

cannot be objective or true, but here he describes such knowledge as ‗al<strong>ie</strong>n‘.<br />

Such knowledge is foreign to Reason. This impl<strong>ie</strong>s that Reason does not, or<br />

cannot, receive knowledge from the senses. This is a different argument to his<br />

earl<strong>ie</strong>r claim that knowledge of the world is not required in order that the true<br />

be known. For now Frege impl<strong>ie</strong>s that Reason, as the locus of the objective<br />

and hence the true, is sealed off from the world and even from perception.<br />

Thus, while the earl<strong>ie</strong>r account allowed, though the context of this earl<strong>ie</strong>r<br />

account did not raise the question, the possibility that Reason could act on the<br />

contents of perception and thus on the world, the account in (a) above<br />

precludes this. Reason, it would seem, has no relation whatsoever with<br />

perception.<br />

(b) purports to show the source of objects: they are ‗immediately given‘ to<br />

Reason. In this relation between the source of objects and the receiver of them,<br />

Reason, no donor is specif<strong>ie</strong>d. Objects are simply ‗given‘. What is more, no<br />

agent of the transaction is specif<strong>ie</strong>d either: objects are ‗immediately‘ given.<br />

Even the receiver is passive, for while in judgement we ‗grasp‘ the true and<br />

the objective, a positive act, objects are merely ‗given‘ to Reason; Reason<br />

does not act in any way to receive them.<br />

Thus, while in (a) a specific source and mode of reception of<br />

knowledge is rejected, in (b), which is by its context an alternative account to<br />

(a), no source or mode of reception is specif<strong>ie</strong>d. All that is said is that objects<br />

are ‗immediately given‘; there is no agent or mode of perception. But an<br />

aspect of the relation between Reason and judgement is reaffirmed indirectly<br />

71

here. Judgement grasps the true and the objective, and at the same time knows<br />

that the true and objective is independent of its act of grasping. This is the role<br />

of judgement; it does not create the true, it discovers it. Now, the ‗things‘<br />

about which judgements are made are obviously distinct from judgement as<br />

such, for judgement is an action that has such ‗things‘ as the objects of its<br />

activity. This means that these ‗things‘ do not originate in judgement, nor are<br />

they possessed at any point by judgement. Thus judgement is not the source of<br />

the objects that are immediately given to Reason. But it is not clear here<br />

whether judgement in some way precedes the giving of the objects to Reason.<br />

Thus the earl<strong>ie</strong>r circular argument reappears. The objects which are given to<br />

Reason are by definition objective ‗things‘. Therefore they must have been<br />

judged to be objective at some stage. But such a stage is not evident; it cannot<br />

be shown that Judgement is prior to Reason‘s reception of objects.<br />

If this is the case, then it would appear that judgement is made after<br />

Reason has received the objects. But why is judgement needed then? The<br />

logical answer is that judgement must be made of the objects of Reason in<br />

order to ‗remind‘ us or make us ‗aware‘ that the objectivity of these objects is<br />

independent of our recognition of their objectivity. This impl<strong>ie</strong>s that Reason<br />

could be otherwise deceived into bel<strong>ie</strong>ving that the opposite was the case, that<br />

Reason was the creator of these objects.<br />

But is Reason so naive? (c) above impl<strong>ie</strong>s that it is not. Reason ‗can<br />

see through completely‘ the objects. That is, Reason can have complete<br />

knowledge of the objects. Part of this knowledge must be the understanding<br />

that their objectivity is independent of its reception of these objects. I say<br />

reception because (1) the ‗things‘ which Reason receives must be by definition<br />

objective, and (2) recognition of the objective is in any case the function of<br />

judgement.<br />

Now, this impl<strong>ie</strong>s that part of Reason‘s complete knowledge of objects<br />

must include acts of judgement, because such complete knowledge must<br />

include the understanding that their objectivity is independent of the<br />

recognition of their objectivity. But, once again, the objects that are given to<br />

Reason must already be objective, so that an act of judgement, which<br />

recognises their objectivity, is not necessary. It must have been undertaken<br />

already.<br />

One conclusion that is compelled by this circular argument is that the<br />

objects are not received by Reason, that is, there is no serial source of objects<br />

outside Reason. In other words, the objects are always known to Reason –<br />

there is no real distinction between Reason, objectivity, and the objects ‗given‘<br />

to Reason. The sequence or seriality impl<strong>ie</strong>d in F‘s account arises from F‘s<br />

own analysis, that is, the sequential relations which appear in his argument are<br />

the products of logic and not of references to an actual state of affairs.<br />

This is inferred from (d) above: objects are Reason‘s most<br />

characteristic possessions. Now while this statement impl<strong>ie</strong>s that Reason has<br />

other possessions which characterise it, but which are not ‗most characteristic‘<br />

of it, the statement, in the context of the whole sentence quoted above, of<br />

which it is the final part, impl<strong>ie</strong>s that the objects that Reason possesses<br />

characterise it. That is, Reason is in some way identical with these objects.<br />

There is no distinction between Reason and the objective ‗things‘ it possesses.<br />

If this is the case, then one can claim that ‗Reason‘ is just another way of<br />

saying objective ‗things‘, that is, that ‗Reason‘ is a metaphor for ‗objectivity‘<br />

72

and ‗truth‘. Conversely, of course, and disregarding the order in which these<br />

terms are introduced by F, it can also be said that ‗objectivity‘ and ‗truth‘ are<br />

metaphors for ‗Reason‘. But this impl<strong>ie</strong>s that one term, at least, here refers to a<br />

reality, while the other term or terms serve as other, but metaphorical, ways of<br />

referring to that reality. It could be the case also that all three terms, ‗Reason‘,<br />

‗objectivity‘ and ‗truth‘, are used by F in analysis, and that they arise from that<br />

analysis: they might have no meaningful referent.<br />

To the extent that F is referring to some exper<strong>ie</strong>nce, if only his own,<br />

the apparent equivalence of the three terms raise the question of reflexivity.<br />

for the burden of all the various arguments of F is ultimately about a relation,<br />

either between Reason and objective ‗things‘ or between judgement and the<br />

true and objective. But while the relation between judgement and the true and<br />

objective is cogent, so far as F‘s argument goes, his account of the relation<br />

between Reason and its objects is not. In the former argument, something does<br />

remain outside judgement, so that the relation judgement holds to this<br />

something is at least a plausible relation qua relation. But in the latter<br />

argument, though Reason is posited as having relations with its objects, they<br />

are given to Reason, and Reason knows and possesses them, the unsolved<br />

problems of the source of these objects and the circularity of the argument<br />

concerning their objectivity, renders these posited relations impossible. If this<br />

is so, then it follows that Reason cannot reflect on its objects. More, because<br />

Reason appears as singular and immanent, Reason cannot reflect at all, that is<br />

cannot hold relations with anything whatsoever. This is because Reason<br />

knows of nothing outside of Reason, and possesses nothing other than Reason,<br />

so that Reason cannot reflect on Reason – a subject cannot be its own object.<br />

You are soaking!<br />

You could call it that...<br />

Didn‘t you take the bus out?<br />

No... Here, will you take my case... I didn‘t think it would last...<br />

But it has been pouring for three hours. The forecast says it will last all night...<br />

This is the first of August, Dan. It‘s like the middle of winter.<br />

It started to soak through by the time I got to Leeson Street bridge... I‘ll have<br />

to take everything off...<br />

Are you cold?<br />

Oh no. I walked fast... But there was no point in waiting for a bus... The fortysix<br />

aye is too irregular.<br />

It‘s a pity you didn‘t take a bus from town.<br />

Oh I walked out, Charley... I can‘t change that now.<br />

Sorry, Dan... I... I suppose I‘m worr<strong>ie</strong>d in case you catch something...<br />

I‘ll change...<br />

Change in here... It‘s warmer. I had the washing machine on... Do... I‘ll get<br />

your pyjamas and dressing gown...<br />

Brian? Why is he not asleep? Oh... What have you been up to, old son? Hey!...<br />

You‘re very chirpy... Aren‘t you sleepy? Here. Catch... And the other one... Now...<br />

upps!. That‘s it. Hold on. Hold on... And down... Now. Ready? Right... Uppps! Hoiup!<br />

Up... Hold on. That‘s it... Hold... Now... Slowly... Down, down, down... and<br />

73

down!<br />

Have you not taken your wet things off yet, Dan? What are you doing? He‘ll<br />

fall!<br />

No, Charley. Watch... Ready, old son? Right then... Hold... See! He‘s<br />

tightened his grips on my fingers. He knows already what to expect. Right. Uppps!<br />

Hey! That‘s it. Hold... Hold on. See his laughing, Charley. He really loves it. Up...<br />

Up... Uup! Hold. They can do that at birth, Charley. Their hands are very strong.<br />

Now. Yes, old son... down, down, down... and and down! There... No. That‘s enough.<br />

Your mother is having palpitations. Good lad... See, Charley? He loves it. They love<br />

movement, especially when they can participate... Okay. I‘ll undress...<br />

But to let him dangle like that, Dan?<br />

You saw for yourself. I did it three times... He didn‘t get tired... He‘s awfully<br />

quick, Charley... I mean he catches on so well to what‘s happening.<br />

But it seems almost cruel... to grasp him like that... the strain.<br />

Oh, it‘s nothing... Thanks for bringing these down. The wind is strong. Right<br />

in my face...<br />

Are you sure, Dan?<br />

Yes... Bab<strong>ie</strong>s are resil<strong>ie</strong>nt, Charley... It‘s good to give them a sense of their<br />

own capacit<strong>ie</strong>s. Otherwise, everything is done for them. They enjoy using their<br />

bod<strong>ie</strong>s... Look. He has his hands up... See? He wants to do it again... You do it this<br />

time, Charley. Let him grasp your forefingers...<br />

It‘s late, Dan... I was about to put him up.<br />

A few minutes won‘t make any difference, Charley. We‘ll have a party. The<br />

three of us... Go on, do it... You saw him do it... That‘s right. Offer him your<br />

forefingers... Take his weight across your palm, not against... That‘s right. You can<br />

use your other fingers for support if necessary... No... Talk to him... Encourage him.<br />

He loves that. Then he knows that you know what he is doing.<br />

Come on, Brian. Up... Up...<br />

Higher, Charley. Don‘t be afraid. Go on, old son. Show your mother what you<br />

can do... That‘s it... Hold on... Good lad! Oh...<br />

Oh!... Brian!<br />

I‘ll catch him...<br />

You distracted him, Dan!<br />

No... Look... He‘s hanging by one hand... The little devil... He‘s showing off!<br />

Oh catch him, Dan... My hand...<br />

Put him down, Charley... Slowly! Down... Good lad, Brian... Hold on, hold<br />

on... There!<br />

Oh Dan, I knew it was dangerous...<br />

He was showing off, Charley.<br />

He wasn‘t, Dan... His hand slipped. You spoiled his concentration... He almost<br />

fell...<br />

He didn‘t fall, Charley. He hung on... He‘s a game lad, Charley.<br />

But if he had fallen?<br />

But he didn‘t... I told you they were resil<strong>ie</strong>nt, Charley... Trust him... He knows<br />

we meant well. Don‘t you, old son?.. There... See? He‘s none the worse for it...<br />

Yes... But it gave me a scare, Dan...<br />

Oh sweetheart, I suppose it did. But he‘s alright... You can see that?<br />

Yes...<br />

Why is he still up, anyway? It‘s after nine.<br />

It took a long time to feed him... He‘s restless for some reason.<br />

74

Is there anything wrong with him? He looks well enough.<br />

No. Nothing like that. I expect he is excited... We visited mother today.<br />

She makes a fuss of him. No wonder he‘s excited...<br />

Did you know that next weekend is the holiday weekend?<br />

Mmm? Oh yes. Tony told me... yesterday... Are Tom and Alice going off?<br />

Yes. To the West. Some place in Galway. Near mountains... Will you eat this?<br />

It‘s cold meat. I never know when to expect you these evenings.<br />

Yes. Thanks... Mountains? Are there mountains in Galway?<br />

I‘m not sure...<br />

Must be the Burren. But that‘s in Clare... Not very high. Splendid v<strong>ie</strong>ws.<br />

No... She said it wasn‘t the Burren. It‘s somewhere in County Galway.<br />

Ah yes. I remember now... That time I stayed near... Round<strong>stone</strong>, I think...<br />

You could see a range to the north. Very conical hills... Yes. There is a huge area of<br />

lakes between the coast and the mountains... I remember wondering if anyone lived in<br />

there. It‘s very barren... Apparently not... You should see it, Charley. We must go<br />

down sometime... It‘s so barren that it is in some way appalling.<br />

According to Tom the place they‘re going to is beautiful. The hotel is between<br />

the sea and the mountains.<br />

Must be further up the coast... But I suppose some people would like such a<br />

desolate place... Like a desert... So pointless in a way.<br />

I think I would like it, Dan.<br />

Closer to nature? But nature is fecund, surely? Not empty.<br />

No... It would be... well, bracing.<br />

Bracing? I hadn‘t thought of it like that... Like the sea... But I felt repulsed...<br />

That‘s because... No.<br />

Because I wasn‘t attuned? Are you desolate still, Charley?<br />

Still? I wasn‘t thinking of desolation, Dan... I was going to say that you were<br />

probably repulsed because it was secret... Do you see what I mean?<br />

Mmm... Yes... But I sense a veil of sorts... The secret is behind a veil... Is that<br />

why I felt repulsed? Must one be desolate first?<br />

Oh don‘t analyse it so, Dan... I don‘t know anyway. I‘ve never been there.<br />

Then we must go soon, Charley... It might do you good.<br />

Am I desolate, Dan?<br />

I... No... Let me think...<br />

Am I?<br />

Hold on... It‘s not that serious... In a way, but... I sense a flatness in you this<br />

evening, Charley... Do you feel deflated? A kind of anticlimax.<br />

It‘s probably the rain.<br />

Could be that... But there was a kind of desolation in you, Charley... And a<br />

kind of exaltation. As though you felt you deserved the desolation... Why did you cut<br />

your hair?<br />

What? How do you get from one to the other, Dan?..<br />

Something Maire MacMahon said the other evening.<br />

What did she say?<br />

She said that for a woman to cut her hair was a sign of gr<strong>ie</strong>f... No. I was<br />

surprised too... But she seemed very confident about it... Is that why you cut your<br />

hair?<br />

I cut it because I didn‘t feel up to taking care of it after the birth... It was long,<br />

Dan.<br />

So it was... Are you letting it grow again? It suited you, Charley.<br />

75

But it was a lot of trouble, Dan.<br />

Was it only a cosmetic?<br />

Oh no... But it was such a nuisance... Why are you so concerned anyway,<br />

Dan? Is that what you fell for?<br />

Of course... That and your poise.<br />

Poise? Oh Dan, Dan...<br />

What is it?<br />

That touched me! Long hair and poise.<br />

I‘m teasing you... It was the sexual chemistry really.<br />

No. Don‘t spoil it.<br />

How do you mean?<br />

The image of long hair and poise... I could see myself as I was when I was six<br />

so clearly... Mother used to brush and brush my hair... How proud her and daddy<br />

were... How proud we all were... Can you see that?<br />

Yes. I saw it once.<br />

Did you? You never told me that... When? Where ?<br />

Oh no. It was later... You must have been in Junior Fresh... You sang in the<br />

Haydn mass. The soprano didn‘t make it.<br />

Were you there? I never knew that...<br />

You sang it from your place in the choir... So many people sang along with<br />

you... you know, qu<strong>ie</strong>tly... as though to help you... I thought then that that was just<br />

you... you were radiant...<br />

I was so nervous, Dan.<br />

Then I saw you afterwards with your parents... They were so proud of you.<br />

I had been asked only that morning. I rehearsed all day.<br />

Did you? You looked very pleased with your parents... No... It was right...<br />

How else could you have felt?<br />

I was proud for them, Dan... Daddy was so proud of me. He wanted me to<br />

train professionally, you know.<br />

Why didn‘t you?<br />

My voice isn‘t strong enough... I don‘t think daddy ever bel<strong>ie</strong>ved that. He<br />

couldn‘t see the difference between choral and solo... I could never hold notes firmly<br />

enough.<br />

Was he very disappointed?<br />

In an indulgent way.<br />

Did that upset you?<br />

At first. Before I came to College. Then I began to feel that it was<br />

constricting... He had a subtle kind of persuasiveness.<br />

That must have upset him.<br />

Perhaps... But I was firm.<br />

Subtly?<br />

Hah... I suppose so... But you were at that concert? Did you go to many of<br />

them?<br />

I hardly ever missed Choral... At least as an undergraduate... I loved the<br />

enthusiasm... Like a happy... Like a happy service... You know, no sermon, only<br />

music music.<br />

Yes... But it was so nerve-wracking at times. We never knew how it would go.<br />

Sometimes it would flow through smoothly. But other nights we would have to<br />

struggle to keep it all together.<br />

I can imagine... I remember one night... I think in seventy-three... the orchestra<br />

76

suddenly went to p<strong>ie</strong>ces... There was consternation, but we pretended not to notice...<br />

Luckily the harpsichord kept going.<br />

Thank goodness that never happened... Oh. Brian is asleep.<br />

So he is... He‘s so cherubic... Look at his hands... As though he was still<br />

holding our fingers.<br />

Dan... Don‘t do that again, will you?<br />

Uh? It was alright, Charley.<br />

No... It was risky. There‘s no point in taking such risks with him... It‘s so<br />

pointless.<br />

But he enjoyed it. You saw that... Oh very well... But don‘t coddle him too<br />

much, Charley. You‘ll spoil him.<br />

And you?<br />

I‘m not coddling him.<br />

No. But you treat him as though he was one of your gang... You want to make<br />

him macho.<br />

Macho? Don‘t be silly, Charley... Anyway I‘ll hardly make him macho.<br />

You‘ll make him too physical and defensive... You know, an ego-thing.<br />

Do you think so? Ego? I don‘t feel threatened by him.<br />

Did your father treat you like that?<br />

Like one of the boys? I suppose so... But he was always boyish... He had a<br />

very easy life, Charley. The firm ticked over by itself.<br />

I‘m sorry I never met him, Dan. And your mother. But Keith Jackson once<br />

told me that he preferred the company of your fr<strong>ie</strong>nds to men of his own age.<br />

Yes. Like that... Sometimes I wondered whether he env<strong>ie</strong>d me my age or if he<br />

was being competitive.<br />

Perhaps envy... They could be incredibly stuffy.<br />

Who?<br />

That generation... So nice and yet so nervous.<br />

Who can blame them, Charley? They didn‘t know what would happen next...<br />

Once, while we were driving into town, my father suddenly said, and for no apparent<br />

reason, There’s green everywhere now, Dan. The thing is, I knew exactly what he<br />

meant.<br />

Is it any different now, Dan?<br />

I think so... They think they‘ve caught up... You know? That they‘ve finally<br />

taken over.<br />

Have they?<br />

The situation is different for them.<br />

How do you mean?<br />

Well, put crudely, we... at least our parents and grandparents... felt they were<br />

part of an imperial order. They knew where they stood in the world... Now... well the<br />

new order, shall we say... their position is somewhat ambiguous. They wanted<br />

freedom... self determination... But the price... I‘m not sure they know the price yet.<br />

What do you mean? What price? They run the country now.<br />

Yes. To all appearances... But they have control over so little... The<br />

economy... There are enormous pressures within and without the country... Can you<br />

see that? There‘s the split between the ideal culture and the actual state of affairs. On<br />

one hand a lot of money is spent promoting a supposedly native Irish culture which is<br />

unviable. On the other, there is the worst kind of commercial vulgarisation that passes<br />

for culture... Again, there is a split in the political consciousness. There is a latent<br />

bel<strong>ie</strong>f in an ideal Republic and a less than perfect actual polity. The tension there can<br />

77

e seen in the unacknowledged pervasive provoism in the whole island and the<br />

opposed official condemnation of the eye ar aye as a gang of thugs... It‘s okay,<br />

Charley. This is just between you and I... But let me finish... Religion. There is<br />

popular superstition and a deep ignorance of truly Christian morality and on the other<br />

hand an extremely...<br />

Dan. Please... It‘s not our concern.<br />

No? We live here, Charley... I teach political theory.<br />

Not that kind of theory?<br />

No... Thankfully not... Plato, Machiavelli, Marx, among others... That‘s all.<br />

I‘ll take Brian up...<br />

Yes... Would you like some tea?<br />

Yes... I won‘t be long... Those wet things...<br />

I‘ll sort them out...<br />

Did you ask Tony?<br />

Mmm? Tony? Yes... He‘s going down this weekend.<br />

Will he do it? What you want?<br />

Yes. He was very curious... as we expected... He... But he will do it.<br />

Will you tell him what it‘s about?<br />

Depends... Actually, if I can help it, I won‘t...<br />

Yes. I think that is best.<br />

It‘s hard to bel<strong>ie</strong>ve... But...<br />

If he gets the evidence you want?<br />

Yes... I don‘t know... Talk to someone in the papers... The Irish Times, I<br />

suppose...<br />

Yes... But you‘ll have to be careful... I mean, if it were true, Dan.<br />

I know. It does sound paranoid.<br />

I can‘t bel<strong>ie</strong>ve nothing has been said already... I mean if it were true... Do you<br />

know anyone in the Irish Times?<br />

Not very well... The features editor that time... That ser<strong>ie</strong>s on neutrality,<br />

remember? It wasn‘t my f<strong>ie</strong>ld... I only spoke to him on the phone... I can‘t even<br />

remember his name...<br />

Perhaps someone knows someone.<br />

Yes. I‘ll ask about... But it will have to be one of their political staff. No use<br />

speaking to some literary correspondent or the like...<br />

A politician?<br />

No... No, Charley... That would be too heavy... The party machines, I mean...<br />

No, it will have to be someone who can make informal enquir<strong>ie</strong>s... Here and abroad...<br />

It might be connected with something else.<br />

You mean world-wide?<br />

Oh I daresay this sort of thing goes on all the time.<br />

You said that before.<br />

I know... Testing one another‘s defences... and will, no doubt.<br />

And you think Ireland could be involved?<br />

The country itself? Not necessarily... At this level, this country would be a<br />

pawn only... But the island is strategic... You saw that in the last two wars... It allows<br />

deeper penetration into the Atlantic... But it can also be a front line in Europe...<br />

78

Offensively or defensively.<br />

That means both powers would be interested?<br />

Yes... Positively... I mean it‘s of value to both... Especially now... with long<br />

range weapons.<br />

But they wouldn‘t want to conquer the island, would they?<br />

Not if it costs too much... time or resources... No. All they need to do is nuke<br />

Dublin... That would completely disorganise the State... Government.<br />

Communications.<br />

But they‘d be harassed from the mountains... like V<strong>ie</strong>tnam or Afghanistan.<br />

Nuke the mountains... Charley, I‘m talking about war... Total war... They<br />

couldn‘t afford to mess about then.<br />

Oh... Yes. I can see that... So what is going on at the moment?<br />

Could be a number of things. Testing defences... Especially air capability...<br />

The Russians might be trying out approach routes... You know, routes, times...<br />

logistics... Box the Americans and the British in the Irish Sea and drive a wedge down<br />

the Atlantic... remember they have submarines there already... Perhaps an airborne<br />

invasion or attack here...<br />

So you expect Tony to see Russian aircraft in the West?<br />

Yes... They could hardly get into the Irish Sea... Britain controls access from<br />

the north.<br />

But why on the coasts only?<br />

They have to stay out of Irish territory... at the moment.<br />

It‘s unbel<strong>ie</strong>vable, Dan.<br />

Isn‘t it?<br />

What can you do ?<br />

Me? Speak to some journalist perhaps... Perhaps publication could exert<br />

pressure on the Government... Make people aware of what‘s going on.<br />

Could they stop it?<br />

Not if it was outside Irish territory.<br />

You could let it go, Dan.<br />

Yes. But I‘m curious anyway... I mean I‘m not doing this just because I<br />

bel<strong>ie</strong>ve people should know what‘s going on... be informed as they say... Quite often<br />

people don‘t want to know anyway... No. I‘m curious to see if it is true.<br />

Well, I hope it doesn‘t make trouble for you.<br />

I doubt it, Charley... Don‘t worry. At most people will think I‘m a fool... or<br />

paranoid... But there‘s lots of that around.<br />

But College?<br />

Not really... Some of them are involved in more silly things than that... And<br />

more sensitive... politically I mean.<br />

You make it sound like a hotbed of intrigue.<br />

It‘s probably the most influential part of the country‘s intelligentsia... The<br />

direct influence they have over thousands of young people... The future leaders.<br />

Yes. I can see that... Anyway... I hope there‘s no trouble for you... You‘ve<br />

taken on so much, Dan... The lecture...<br />

Oh don‘t worry about that either. I‘ll be finished those notes soon.<br />

Oh good... Perhaps we should go up... It‘s almost twelve.<br />

Yes.<br />

The clothes?<br />

I sorted them out... Some to dry... in the hot press. The shirt and knickers for<br />

the wash.<br />

79

Good... You can look after yourself.<br />

If a man can look after himself, then he‘s free of women... I mean total<br />

dependence... You wouldn‘t like me to be totally dependent on you, would you?<br />

As though I were your mother?<br />

And I a helpless child.<br />

Yes. I suppose so... That‘s the general trend today.<br />

Yes. Reduce relations between men and women to the specific relationship... I<br />

mean washing and cooking are not sex specific... But there are things only a man... or<br />

the woman... can provide.<br />

You mean sex?<br />

Not sex only, Charley... It‘s a larger thing than that. Emotions... A kind of<br />

focus that complements the other.<br />

Fulfilling? Yes... That‘s true.<br />

Look at his hands, Charley. They are still grasping fingers... I expect he will<br />

dream about it.<br />

He was so excited this evening, Dan. He‘ll have a lot to dream about.<br />

But Alice is good to him.<br />

Yes. She can make more free with him in a way we can‘t.<br />

We are too close to him... Too responsible.<br />

Yes. Ah... It‘s still raining. Hear it on the window.<br />

I can hear it in the trees too.<br />

Mmm? Yes... So lonely... why do you feel deflated, Charley?<br />

Anti-climax, I suppose... as you said... Perhaps I‘m coming out of the postnatal<br />

thing?<br />

That‘s good, Charley.<br />

Do you know, Dan... I think I will put him onto the bottle... Not suddenly... I<br />

fill give him some of his feeds in the bottle to start with.<br />

Yes. It‘s a good idea. I think it‘s about time. It has been such a strain for you...<br />

Are your breasts still sore?<br />

Yes... But not actually painful. More sensitive... The nipples are all the time<br />

distended...<br />

Ah... I can feel it... Does that hurt?<br />

No. It‘s... mmm ...<br />

It‘s like a constant state of arousal.<br />

Oh not that much, Dan... It‘s only my breasts.<br />

Still... pleasurable.<br />

Not if you‘re preparing a meal, Dan.<br />

Why not?<br />

That would be like a drug... You know all the time high.<br />

Yes. I can appreciate that... How do you feel now?<br />

Yes... It‘s different when you do it, Dan.<br />

Ah... Yes ...<br />

Oh, darling...<br />

Sweetheart...<br />

Oh do it, Dan... do it... I...<br />

Yes... Yes... oh yes...<br />

Thanks, Dan.<br />

80

Mmm... You‘re welcome... Anytime...<br />

No... Not just that... You are right... There are some things only a man can do<br />

for a woman.<br />

This? That‘s obvious...<br />

Not just that... You fill me up, Dan... Do you know what I mean?<br />

Kind of... Heh... That‘s obvious, in a way.<br />

But you do, Dan, you do... You fill all the breaks and chasms...<br />

Chasms?<br />

Metaphorically... You just make everything whole, darling... Thank you.<br />

And thank you...<br />

Go to sleep now, Darling.<br />

Yes...<br />

Goodnight...<br />

FRIDAY<br />

Now Frege writes elsewhere that to say we grasp objective truths is to<br />

speak in a metaphor. To illustrate this point, he presents us with another<br />

metaphor: ‗What I hold in my hand can be considered the content of my hand,<br />

but it is the content of my hand in quite a different sense and is more al<strong>ie</strong>n to it<br />

than the bones, the muscles of which it consists, and their tensions‘<br />

On the basis of F‘s earl<strong>ie</strong>r arguments, it is clear that what is said here is<br />

that the grasping of objective thoughts is like the hand holding its bones and<br />

muscles as its content, rather than like the hand holding a content ‗in‘ its<br />

grasp. This interpretation is supported by the fact that F describes the content<br />

held ‗in‘ the hand as quite different and al<strong>ie</strong>n to the bones and muscles that<br />

constitute the hand. An objective thought cannot be al<strong>ie</strong>n to what grasps it.<br />

However, the question arises: What grasps the objective thought? F<br />

says here that ‗we‘ do. Now F has already detailed the way in which ‗we‘<br />

grasp objective thoughts. ‗We‘ recognise them; they are discovered by us, not<br />

created by us. The point of judgement is to become aware of this, that the<br />

objectivity of the thought is independent or our recognition of it.<br />

But what about the source or origin or the thought we recognise and<br />

judge to be objective? It might have been thought that the metaphor of holding<br />

a content ‗in‘ the hand would serve to image the reception, at least, of the<br />

thought. But of course it does not, for such a content is al<strong>ie</strong>n, and objective<br />

thoughts are not al<strong>ie</strong>n. Therefore, we must understand that F is saying that the<br />

grasping, that is, the reception, of the thought is expressed in the image or the<br />

relation between the hand and the bones and muscles which constitute it as a<br />

hand. This image must then say that the content of the hand is identical with<br />

the hand. By analogy, then, the receiver of the thought is identical with the<br />

thought. But this is not true of judgement, the function of which is to make<br />

aware of the objectivity of thought, a relation to thought which cannot collapse<br />

into an identity. But, according to F‘s argument, it is true of Reason, for<br />

‗things‘, that is, objective thoughts, are not independent of Reason.<br />

81

It can be seen that in this metaphor F does not escape the problem of<br />

the identification of Reason and objective thought. Clearly, thought is not held<br />

‗in‘ Reason, it is rather the constituent of Reason, in the way that the bones<br />

and muscles constitute the hand. However, it appears also that objective<br />

thought is grasped within this identity of Reason and thought. Hence, if this is<br />

the case, the recognition of the truth and objectivity of the thought, as well as<br />

the concomitant judgement concerning the independence of this truth and<br />

objectivity, must occur within this identity. But to the extent that the<br />

judgement, if not the recognition, that is, the grasping, of the objective thought<br />

is an act and so a relation between one thing and another, there must be at least<br />

two things present, the thought and something else. Obviously, this something<br />

else is not Reason, for the thought and Reason are identical. Also, this other<br />

thing is not the recognition or grasping of the thought, for F‘s metaphor of the<br />

hand is intended to portray figuratively what it means to say that we grasp the<br />

objective thought – the grasping of the thought by Reason is like the<br />

identification of the hand with the bones and muscles which constitute it.<br />

Therefore, the act of judgement would appear to be this second thing,<br />

somehow external to, but in relation to, the unity of thought and Reason. But<br />

this cannot be so either, for then the problem of the circular argument<br />

concerning objectivity arises, this time from another perspective. If thought<br />

and Reason are identical, then thought is always objective, for otherwise it<br />

could not be connected with Reason. Therefore, the act of judgement must be<br />

made before thought ‗comes in‘ to Reason. But it cannot be shown, in F‘s<br />

argument, that thought is at any point received by Reason.<br />

A number of conclusions follow:<br />

(a) Judgement as an action is either unnecessary or impossible.<br />

(b) Grasping or the recognition of the objective thought is not in ser<strong>ie</strong>s with<br />

Reason‘s ‗holding‘ this thought .<br />

(c) Reason and objective thought are identical.<br />

(d) Taking ‗Reason‘ as simply one term among others, such as ‗objective<br />

thought‘, to describe the object of F‘s arguments about Reason, thought,<br />

judgement, objectivity and truth, one must conclude that ‗Reason‘ is unique,<br />

immanent, without relations, and coterminous with thought, objectivity and<br />

truth.<br />

If this is the case<br />

Oh... Yes? Come in!<br />

Doctor White?<br />

Yes. Come in... Miss...<br />

I‘m interrupting you... I...<br />

Miss Hungen... Come in... Sit down... No...<br />

I didn‘t think you would be busy, Doctor White. I...<br />

Sit down... do... yes. That‘s it.<br />

I wouldn‘t have come today. But...<br />

Yes?<br />

Monday is some kind of holiday... Is that right?<br />

Yes. The August Bank Holiday...<br />

I didn‘t know...<br />

82

Neither did I.<br />

College will be closed.<br />

Yes. It will... But you could have come on Tuesday.<br />

You might not be here... It‘s your vacation... isn‘t it?.. I was in the library... so<br />

I thought I‘d see if you were in.<br />

No. I‘ll be here on Tuesday... Tuesday morning.<br />

Oh good... I‘ll come then...<br />

That will be fine, Miss...<br />

I‘m really sorry I disturbed you, Doctor White... You are busy...<br />

That‘s alright. It‘s... yes... it‘s about lunch time anyway... I usually stop for<br />

lunch in any case.<br />

Oh... good... Well, I‘ll see you Tuesday morning, Doctor White...<br />

Yes... and... Oh, how are you getting on, Miss Hungen?.. With the paper, I<br />

mean.<br />

Doesn‘t look too good... I‘ve been reading about his life.<br />

Yes. It‘s pretty sordid, isn‘t it?<br />

What a weed!... I mean, Doctor White, he was terrif<strong>ie</strong>d of himself.<br />

How do you mean?<br />

He tr<strong>ie</strong>d to lose himself in his women... Madame de Warens was a mother<br />

figure. When that didn‘t work, he took up with a dummy... He couldn‘t cope with any<br />

other kind of woman... It was a kind of fetishism.<br />

Fetishism? He was an extremely sensuous man. Perhaps too much so? By<br />

modern standards, I mean.<br />

Therese was an object, Doctor White. She was dumb. I mean, she was no<br />

threat to his ego. She was just a sexual object. He didn‘t treat her as a human being...<br />

Doctor White, he even put their children into an orphanage. He didn‘t regard the<br />

products of his manhood as real human beings.<br />

I see what you mean. But he had difficult<strong>ie</strong>s. He was pretty well impotent.<br />

Yeah... You can see that in his theory, Doctor.<br />

Do you think so? Must a man‘s personal problems be reflected in his thinking?<br />

In Rousseau‘s case, yes.<br />

Yet he was so influential. Surely that influence didn‘t arise merely because of<br />

his sexual neuroses? Is his political theory reducible to his impotence? As a kind of<br />

sublimation, I mean?<br />

But women don‘t figure in his life. And they don‘t figure in his theory.<br />

What about Jul<strong>ie</strong>?<br />

He‘s telling her to subordinate herself to a social system in which she has no<br />

active part. And it kills her... Doctor White, Rousseau‘s social theory is about men<br />

only. It was written by an impotent man for other men.<br />

Other impotent men, Miss Hungen?<br />

His theory was very popular.<br />

But impotence? Is his theory reducible to that? His writings helped create the<br />

French Revolution... Was that an act of impotence? Mmm?... But I do agree with your<br />

point about the role of women in his theory. Especially your point about man in the<br />

state of nature... It‘s a good point, and open to useful analysis... You should<br />

concentrate on that... You know. Don‘t generalise from it. Rousseau‘s impotence<br />

could be a product of the social system he lived in... Yes, I know there was a medical<br />

element... But emotionally. An authoritarian polity can deform a man as much as a<br />

woman... Can you see that?<br />

I guess so, Doctor White... But Rousseau... He‘s so hard to take, Doctor<br />

83

White... He makes a woman feel so... well, so al<strong>ie</strong>n...<br />

Perhaps you should change your topic?<br />

No!<br />

Good. Because you have the makings of a very interesting thesis... I mean, if<br />

you wanted to, you could develop it into a doctoral thesis.<br />

Hey! I‘ll stick to the masters, Doctor White.<br />

As you will... Now...<br />

Yes... I‘ll let you go to lunch...<br />

Yes... But don‘t generalise so... That kind of psychohistory is just waffle... It<br />

won‘t stand up to analysis...<br />

I can see that... But, Doctor White, I get so annoyed.<br />

Good. At least you are involved... Have you had lunch?<br />

No... I...<br />

Will you have lunch with me?<br />

Sure... Are you...<br />

Shall we go out? Outside College, I mean.<br />

Oh... Sure...<br />

Good... Let‘s go then. I‘ll lock this. There. Right. But involvement gives<br />

strong motivation, Miss... It will get you through the tedium of research.<br />

Sometimes, Doctor White, I get so mad that I want to tear up his books.<br />

Good. That creates a boundary of resistance that you can work against. But<br />

you have to remain objective. That‘s the benefit for you... It brings passion and<br />

thought into harness... Oh good. The sun is shining... What do you think of the Irish<br />

summer?<br />

Yuk... I‘ve never seen so much rain. Last night it kept me awake.<br />

It‘s no consolation, I suppose, but it is worse than usual... Do you like Dublin?<br />

The weather hasn‘t helped... I don‘t mean to be a grouse, Doctor White, but<br />

Dublin stinks.<br />

Hah. I see what you mean... But you haven‘t had time to make many fr<strong>ie</strong>nds<br />

yet, I daresay... Everyone is away.<br />

Everyone is so distant, Doctor White. I thought only the English were like<br />

that... The Irish are supposed to be open...<br />

Why did you come to Dublin?<br />

When I finished at Bryn Mawr I wanted to come to Europe. I had a choice of<br />

Saint Andrew‘s or Trinity.<br />

And why Trinity rather than Saint Andrew‘s?<br />

A fr<strong>ie</strong>nd had decided to come here.<br />

Good. Then you have a fr<strong>ie</strong>nd from home with you.<br />

She went back last week... She couldn‘t stand the place...<br />

No? But if she had come to study and not just to socialise?<br />

She just couldn‘t get on with her supervisor.<br />

What department?<br />

History.<br />

Ah... Who was her supervisor?<br />

Professor Dodgeson... Do you know him? Maybe I shouldn‘t...<br />

Oh, that‘s all right... Just gossip... Goes on all the time... But Dodgeson... He<br />

can generate motivation... Yes, he can...<br />

But she hated him... She said he was supercilious...<br />

In here... It‘s small, but it seems reasonably clean... The rolls are alright...<br />

Tea?<br />

84

Sure... But I‘ll...<br />

No... Let me treat you... Make up for the weather and all that... Now... Can<br />

you manage?... Thank you...<br />

Sure... I‘ll take that... No...<br />

Over here, then? Rather than facing the wall... Like a trough... Good...<br />

He doesn‘t like Americans.<br />

Perhaps not... He may find them patronising.<br />

Damn!... The least we can expect is... You are all so defensive, Doctor White.<br />

It‘s sometimes hard to take Americans seriously.<br />

At least you are frank, Doctor White... Why?<br />

You are all so heavy... Do you know what I mean?<br />

I think so...<br />

So many attitudes. If makes you self-conscious... and I suppose egotistical...<br />

And then at the same time you are so... how will I put it? Strident... You know, not<br />

just emotional... There‘s a kind of hysteria just under the surface... Your men are the<br />

same... The slightest check to their assertiveness and they look ready to cry... to bawl<br />

is a better image... There... But don‘t take it to heart, Miss Hungen.<br />

I won‘t... I asked for it... Am I strident?<br />

Frankly?<br />

Frankly .<br />

I would say you are peevish rather...<br />

Peevish!<br />

Well, you asked... Perhaps it‘s the weather. It can get one down... There‘s so<br />

much rain... And I expect you are lonely... Anyone might be the same in your<br />

situation.<br />

And self-conscious?<br />

Very... But that is partly your age, I expect.<br />

Wow... I asked for this.<br />

Well, to balance things, Miss Hungen... Tell me what you think of the Irish.<br />

Frankly?<br />

Yes. Why not?<br />

They‘re devious... repressed... infantile... especially the men... and callous...<br />

Okay?<br />

Well, devious, yes... Repressed? Yes, in a way... But callous? You mean<br />

unfeeling?<br />

No. I mean cruel, thoughtless... a kind of brutality.<br />

You mean violent?<br />

And that... They‘re very quick to strike one another... I mean mothers seem to<br />

hit their children out of habit...<br />

You see this on the streets?<br />

Yes. Everywhere.<br />

It sounds depressing.<br />

Haven‘t you noticed?<br />

I suppose I never go to those areas of Dublin... Have you walked in the poor<br />

areas of New York?<br />

Hell no... I see what you mean... But even in the middle classes, Doctor White.<br />

Oh, I‘m not excusing it, Miss Hungen... I think you are right... Violence is<br />

endemic here... I know a different image is presented abroad by the tourist<br />

organisations, but it is a brutal soc<strong>ie</strong>ty as a whole... Compared say with England...<br />

And the United States?<br />

85

Not such callous brutality... not habitual, I mean... But a hysteria... An<br />

egotism... But I expect it‘s not that simple...<br />

Hysteria? The men, you mean?<br />

Both men and women... Perhaps paranoia is a better word... I mean,<br />

Americans are led to bel<strong>ie</strong>ve they are such great individuals... The everyday social<br />

exper<strong>ie</strong>nce must constantly threaten that image... Such big egos impinging on one<br />

another all the time...<br />

There are plenty of big egos here.<br />

Yes, I know... But the social... however you put it... it does act to<br />

counterbalance the egotism... Ah. You don‘t like that.<br />

How can you tell?<br />

You have a habit of curling your lips off your teeth...<br />

Uh?<br />

The eyes are usually a better indicator. But you wear glasses... Do you see?<br />

That shifts the emphasis on to your mouth... That usually happens.<br />

Hey! You really mean that?<br />

Mean what?<br />

That you can read my mind by the way my mouth moves?<br />

Not quite... The extremes... of reaction, especially.<br />

I better watch it.<br />

Why?<br />

I‘ll give myself away... Do all the Irish watch one another like that?<br />

Unconsciously, perhaps. But most people do anyway... But why are you afraid<br />

of giving yourself away? What have you got to hide?<br />

Hey!... I didn‘t mean that... It‘s a funny feeling, I guess... I feel... uh...<br />

Transparent?<br />

Yes... Naked.<br />

Hardly, Miss Hungen... You are quite opaque. Except, as I‘ve said, at the<br />

extremes... But you surely read those signs yourself... Perhaps you‘re not fully aware<br />

of it.<br />

The eyes, you say? I must remember that.<br />

And other parts. The head, the limbs... Hands are a dead giveaway... And<br />

women, then, have particular signs.<br />

What are they, Doctor White?<br />

Well, how she aligns her body... and her feet, when she‘s seated... And the<br />

tension in her breasts.<br />

You mean sexual signs? Like a come-on?<br />

Oh no. Not necessarily... Though they could be intended unconsciously...<br />

Then she could be surprised or shocked if a man responded to them...<br />

You read all these things in people?<br />

Sometimes. It depends on the context... But then most people do.<br />

I don‘t.<br />

I daresay you do... Have you finished?<br />

Yeah... That‘s very interesting, Doctor White. I must watch out for things like<br />

that.<br />

Yes... Ah. The sun is still shining... Learning is often simply a matter of<br />

becoming aware of what is there already... But tell me, why do you react so strongly<br />

to the idea of the social?<br />

The old European soc<strong>ie</strong>t<strong>ie</strong>s... The weight of convention... All the rules...<br />

People are like robots.<br />

86

Do you think so? But there is individual variation... People are never that<br />

restricted by rules... They break them all the time... Are the Irish rule-bound? It‘s an<br />

anc<strong>ie</strong>nt soc<strong>ie</strong>ty.<br />

There seems to be no rules at all here, Doctor White... Look how they park<br />

their cars. People jaywalk all the time.<br />

But in their ideas, I mean?<br />

Don‘t seem to have too many of them either.<br />

Hah... There might be something in that... Well, I shouldn‘t generalise, really.<br />

I‘ve never been to America... Back to the library?<br />

No... I‘ve got the books I need here.<br />

Rousseau?<br />

Yes... The Social Contract.<br />

Good luck... Look. If you haven‘t got it together by Tuesday, don‘t worry...<br />

It‘ll take a few months to work out the basics anyway... Don‘t feel rushed. You know<br />

what I mean?<br />

Sure... I guess I‘m used to one-semester courses. At Bryn Mawr we‘d get<br />

through five or six courses in a year.<br />

So I‘ve heard. Well, try to settle down to it. Think out your responses while<br />

you are thinking out Rousseau... It‘ll teach you things about yourself. After all, that‘s<br />

supposed to be one of the objectives of a liberal education.<br />

I guess you‘re right, Doctor White. But I feel... you know... Trinity College<br />

Dublin.<br />

Intimidated?<br />

That‘s it... Everyone is very sharp, you know... and yet they seem really laid<br />

back.<br />

Laid back? I must remember that... Well, good luck with your reading, Miss<br />

Hungen... Come and see me if you have any problems...<br />

Sure. I will... And thanks for the lunch, Doctor White. It was very interesting.<br />

I mean about the body signs...<br />

Oh, just some chat... It‘s all a matter of awareness, really... Goodbye, now...<br />

Have a nice weekend.<br />

Sure... And you... See you...<br />

it follows, then in the context of the above discussion, that Reason<br />

must be the source of objectivity and truth. On one hand, no other source for<br />

them is given. On the other, F says that objectivity, that is, objective thought,<br />

is not independent of Reason. Therefore, truth is not independent of Reason<br />

either, for truth and objectivity are inseparable, one defines the other.<br />

If this is the case, then it would seem that Reason is also the ‗source‘ of<br />

thought. Reason must be the source because, as in the case of truth and<br />

objectivity, (a) no other source for it is given, and (b) F says that (objective)<br />

thought is not independent of Reason.<br />

Two questions therefore arise:<br />

(1) What is the relation between thought and truth/objectivity?<br />

(2) What is judgement? This question arises because F gives an important<br />

function to judgement, the knowledge of the independence of truth from the<br />

recognition of truth, notwithstanding the fact that it appears, from the<br />

87

discussion above, to be either unnecessary or impossible.<br />

(1) To begin with, the terms ‗true‘/‘objective‘ would seem to stand in a<br />

qualitative relation to the term ‗thought‘. But this impl<strong>ie</strong>s that (a) there can be<br />

a thought which is not so qualif<strong>ie</strong>d, and (b) there can be a ‗thought‘ which is<br />

qualif<strong>ie</strong>d by the negatives of ‗true‘ and ‗objective‘. But it is clear from F‘s<br />

arguments that a ‗thought‘, as such, must be ‗true‘ and ‗objective‘ in order to<br />

rank as a thought. Strictly speaking, the phrase ‗objective thought‘ contains a<br />

redundant element. So, with reference to (a) above, ‗thought‘ need not be<br />

qualif<strong>ie</strong>d; it is only qualif<strong>ie</strong>d in order to explain its nature, that ‗thought‘ is<br />

true and objective. With reference to (b), the possibility of a negative<br />

qualification of ‗thought‘ does not arise. On one hand, F opposed human<br />

‗ideas‘, which are definitionally neither true nor objective, to ‗thought‘. On the<br />

other, the polarity of positive and negative, of affirmation or denial, does not<br />

exist for Reason. All thoughts are positive; that is, Reason ‗contains‘ only<br />

affirmation – Reason can only affirm the true and the objective. Thus, for the<br />

purpose of analysis, the opposite of truth is not untruth or negativity, but<br />

ABSENCE. In other words, that which is not ‗in‘ Reason is absent, it simply<br />

has no relation with Reason.<br />

But Frege speaks on occasions of ‗thoughts‘. What is the relation of<br />

such a plurality to truth and objectivity?<br />

This raises the question: Are truth/objectivity and thought identical?<br />

From the present perspective it seems that they are. There is no thought that is<br />

not true and objective. Conversely, of what else can it be said that it is true and<br />

objective? According to Frege, there is nothing else. Put otherwise, can<br />

truth/objectivity be regarded as distinct from thought? Within the context of<br />

the image of Reason developed above, the answer must be no. If<br />

truth/objectivity was distinct from thought, then the posited unity of Reason<br />

would be den<strong>ie</strong>d, for there are no relations ‗within‘ Reason.<br />

However, Frege has elsewhere apparently made a distinction between<br />

truth and thought, as when he writes: ‗Thus the word ―true‖ seems to make<br />

possible the impossible,<br />

Yes? Come in!<br />

Doctor White?<br />

Yes?<br />

Sorry to disturb you, Doctor. I dropped by on the off-chance... If you‘re busy,<br />

I can come back again.<br />

What is it?<br />

My name is James MacShane. I‘m a journalist. I wonder if I could ask you a<br />

few questions.<br />

Yes? Do sit... There...<br />

Thank you, Doctor White... I‘m preparing a ser<strong>ie</strong>s of articles for an Irish<br />

magazine... a serious political journal, Doctor... on the various aspects of Irish<br />

neutrality...<br />

Yes?<br />

It‘s to be done in depth, Doctor... I plan to get the v<strong>ie</strong>ws of all serious<br />

authorit<strong>ie</strong>s and commentators... You‘re a lecturer in political philosophy here in<br />

Trinity... and I bel<strong>ie</strong>ve you‘ve written on the subject in a national newspaper...<br />

88

I haven‘t.<br />

Uhh? What?<br />

I haven‘t written on the subject.<br />

Why not?<br />

Did you know that?<br />

Know what?<br />

That I hadn‘t written on the subject.<br />

I was told you had.<br />

By whom?<br />

I can‘t remember now, Doctor. It‘s not important anyway.<br />

Did you check?<br />

The article? Not yet... You see, I want fresh material, new v<strong>ie</strong>ws... This will be<br />

an important ser<strong>ie</strong>s, Doctor.<br />

What magazine, Mister MacShane?<br />

I can‘t tell you yet, Doctor. The details haven‘t been finalised.<br />

Are you a free-lance journalist?<br />

Yes.<br />

Have you written on the subject before?<br />

Yes.<br />

Where was it published?<br />

In an American magazine.<br />

Which one ?<br />

It was a small publication, Doctor.<br />

The title?<br />

The New Democrat. In California. It closed down last year. You know the<br />

type, Doctor. There are thousands of them over there.<br />

Who financed it?<br />

Oh, come on, I don‘t know.<br />

I don‘t bel<strong>ie</strong>ve you, Mister MacShane.<br />

It‘s true, Doctor White. I swear it... I was asked to do it. I sent it to an address<br />

in New York.<br />

What was the article about?<br />

The connections between the ee ee cee and nato.<br />

Is that your interest?<br />

That‘s what I was asked to do... Anyway, why all these questions? Will you<br />

give me the interv<strong>ie</strong>w or won‘t you?<br />

I won‘t.<br />

Why not?<br />

Two reasons. One, I couldn‘t be sure what use you would make of it. Two,<br />

bel<strong>ie</strong>ve it or not, Mister MacShane, there is little or no discussion of neutrality in the<br />

history of political philosophy. That means, academically, that I could have very little<br />

to say on the subject.<br />

But privately, Doctor White. That is your personal v<strong>ie</strong>w?<br />

You said you intended interv<strong>ie</strong>wing serious authorit<strong>ie</strong>s and commentators. I<br />

am neither.<br />

Why are you so uncooperative, Doctor White? Are you not in favour of Irish<br />

neutrality?<br />

Why do you insist upon interv<strong>ie</strong>wing me, Mister MacShane, when it‘s obvious<br />

that I am not the sort of person you are looking for?<br />

You lecture on political philosophy here, Doctor White. People would expect<br />

89

you to have an opinion.<br />

As a lecturer, I don‘t have an opinion.<br />

It‘s going to look as though you‘re against neutrality, Doctor White.<br />

How do you mean?<br />

It‘s the sort of situation where if you‘re not with us, then you‘re against us.<br />

Are you blackmailing me, Mister MacShane?<br />

I‘m talking about public opinion, Doctor White.<br />

Public opinion will hardly notice my silence. Unless, of course, you draw their<br />

attention to it. Yes. Well, I‘ll go back to the beginning again. I don‘t bel<strong>ie</strong>ve you,<br />

Mister MacShane. I don‘t bel<strong>ie</strong>ve you are what you say you are.<br />

Here... That‘s my press card.<br />

Fair enough. In that case, I don‘t bel<strong>ie</strong>ve you are preparing a ser<strong>ie</strong>s of articles<br />

on neutrality for a serious political journal.<br />

Why not?<br />

You are not of that calibre.<br />

Fuck you!<br />

Goodbye, Mister MacShane.<br />

You‘re a Protestant bastard!<br />

I‘ll call the porters.<br />

And I bet you would... I‘ll see you again, White, and next time you won‘t be<br />

so cool. Wait and see, you Protestant bastard!<br />

Hello?<br />

Porters‘ Lodge .<br />

Good. This is White, in politics department.<br />

Yes, Doctor White?<br />

Will you keep an eye out for a man. He should pass you any moment now. He<br />

has reddish hair, somewhat unruly. He‘s wearing a white and grey zip jacket and grey<br />

cords. And he has a blue canvas bag with a shoulder strap.<br />

Got it, Doctor. Red hair, grey clothes, blue bag?<br />

That‘s it. He‘s in his late twent<strong>ie</strong>s, I‘d say, but he might seem older.<br />

Late twent<strong>ie</strong>s.<br />

I want to know if he has been around before. And, I suppose, if anything is<br />

known about him. Will you do that?<br />

Right, Doctor... Any trouble?<br />

Not really. I‘m just curious. Perhaps there‘s nothing in it.<br />

Right. I‘ll ring you back.<br />

Thanks.<br />

namely, to make that which corresponds to the assertive appear to be<br />

contributing to the thought.‘<br />

One two four six. Yes?<br />

90

Doctor White?<br />

Yes.<br />

Porters‘ Lodge here. That man has just left the College.<br />

Yes?<br />

He‘s been seen around before alright, Doctor. Usually in the evenings. I<br />

expect he attends meetings.<br />

Any idea what kind of meetings?<br />

Hold on, Doctor... Hello?<br />

Yes.<br />

It‘s hard to say, Doctor. You know how it is. There are a lot of meetings in<br />

here, and a lot come in from outside to attend them. He‘s never stood out... You can<br />

tell with some what kind of meetings they‘re going to. But I‘d say student meetings,<br />

Doctor. He‘s that sort.<br />

I see.<br />

Do you know anything about him, Doctor? Like what he does.<br />

He‘s a kind of journalist. He has a card.<br />

Ah that. Yes. He would be that type alright, Doctor. Writes for small papers?<br />

Yes.<br />

Some kind of radical maybe.<br />

Perhaps.<br />

Or else on the look out for something new. There‘s that sort too... There was<br />

no trouble, was there, Doctor?<br />

Oh no. No trouble. I just wondered if you would know him.<br />

Not much, I‘m afraid... a lot of people come in and out. We can‘t check<br />

everyone.<br />

No, of course not... But you have been a help.<br />

We can keep an eye out for him. I mean if he comes in the afternoon again.<br />

Let you know like.<br />

Yes. That‘s very good of you. But don‘t put yourselves out.<br />

It‘s our job, Doctor.<br />

Well, thank you anyway. Goodbye.<br />

Goodbye, Doctor.<br />

But Frege is here discussing what he sees as the peculiarity of logic, that is, of<br />

the analysis of propositions. It is not part of his account of Reason. Within<br />

Reason, truth and thought cannot be distinguished, for there they are the one<br />

‗thing‘.<br />

However, the reference to a plurality of thought suggests that there are<br />

discrete thoughts ‗within‘ Reason. If this is so, what is the relation between<br />

truth/objectivity and these various thoughts?<br />

On one hand it is obvious that all these thoughts are true and objective,<br />

otherwise they would not be ‗in‘ Reason. But in what way are these thoughts<br />

true and objective? If, for instance, the thoughts are discrete and dissimilar in<br />

some significant way, do they share one truth and objectivity or is truth and<br />

objectivity particular to individual thoughts? That is, if ‗thought‘ and<br />

‗truth‘/‘objectivity‘ are identical, how can identity obtain in one way, all<br />

thoughts are true/objective, and yet not in another, all true objective thoughts<br />

91

are discrete and dissimilar? The answer seems to be that either<br />

truth/objectivity is particular to a thought, and so identical, in which case there<br />

is a plurality of truth/objectivity, or else there is only one thought, in which<br />

case there is only one truth/ objectivity.<br />

This of course is the problem impl<strong>ie</strong>d by F at the level of analysis: the<br />

word ‗true‘ need not appear in a proposition in order that that proposition be<br />

true. Frege says that truth cannot be defined, and that the objective relations<br />

between a thought and truth cannot be described. He attributes this problem to<br />

the imperfection of ordinary language, and continues: ‗If a perfectly logical<br />

language were possible, such semantic considerations would be unnecessary.‘<br />

However, it is now clear that this is not so, at least to the extent of an<br />

account of Reason. There remains the problem, detailed above: either there is<br />

a plurality of thought and a plurality of truth/objectivity or else a singular<br />

thought and a singular truth/ objectivity. Now, Frege on one hand speaks of<br />

‗thoughts‘ and on the other makes it clear that truth/objectivity is a singularity.<br />

In this case, there cannot be an identity of thoughts and truth/objectivity, for<br />

the reasons given above. Therefore, (a) truth/objectivity, per se, is distinct<br />

from thoughts, so that (b) some kind of relation must obtain between<br />

truth/objectivity and thoughts.<br />

There are a number of answers to (a) and (b):<br />

(1) If Frege‘s account of Reason is to stand, then truth/objectivity and thoughts<br />

are not distinct, so that the question of a relation between them does not arise.<br />

Truth/objectivity and thoughts are identical.<br />

(2) In that case, there is only one thought. What is that thought? Obviously,<br />

given F‘s account of Reason, that thought is the thought of Reason thinking<br />

Reason. That is, if there is only one thought, then that thought is solipsistic.<br />

(3) What if there is a plurality of thought? Given that a plurality of thought<br />

impl<strong>ie</strong>s a number of discrete and dissimilar thoughts, it follows that these<br />

thoughts must be more than true and objective. That is, they must possess<br />

particular contents which differ from thought to thought. The nature of these<br />

contents is not important here, only the fact that they differ from thought to<br />

thought.<br />

Given that these different contents cannot be identical with<br />

truth/objectivity, how then do they relate within Reason? To say that that do<br />

not relate, or that they need not, is to say that there is a plurality, this time of<br />

thought contents, within Reason. But how is this possible? How can difference<br />

coincide with sameness?<br />

There are two answers:<br />

(i) Difference can coincide with sameness to the extent that difference is<br />

compatible with sameness to the extent that they can coincide. That is,<br />

difference and sameness must be of the same nature. Now, Frege‘s account of<br />

Reason is ultimately an account of a presence as opposed to an absence. Hence<br />

Reason and the plurality of thought can be said to be present.<br />

But is this true?<br />

It is clear that thought is present ‗in‘ Reason because it is objective and<br />

true. Thus the presence of thought coincides with its objectivity and truth, it is<br />

not a secondary characteristic. From this, it is also clear that all ‗thoughts‘, in<br />

being objective and true, would also be present, because they would<br />

necessarily, as thoughts, possess this characteristic. Thus, it is possible for<br />

difference, as a plurality of thought possessing different contents, to be<br />

92

present, for what is present is a plurality of thought each of which possesses,<br />

as a thought, the characteristic of presence.<br />

The crucial question then is, Is Reason a presence? This has not been<br />

raised before, because F only discusses the presence of thought. Now,<br />

presence coincides with truth and objectivity. Hence, the question can be<br />

rephrased: Is Reason true and objective? But it can be seen immediately that<br />

the question has a more radical form: Is Reason a thought?<br />

In Frege‘s account, Reason seems not to be simply a thought. It seems<br />

to be the ‗container‘ of thought, that is, of that which is true and objective and<br />

therefore present – present ‗in‘ Reason. But in detail, another interpretation is<br />

possible. In saying that objectivity is not independent of Reason, the inference<br />

can be drawn that Reason must be objective. In that case, Reason must be a<br />

thought. Again, though the image of the content of the hand as its bones and<br />

muscles, that is, that which it is in-itself, impl<strong>ie</strong>s superficially a distinction<br />

between ‗hand‘ as the whole thing and its bones and muscles as that which<br />

constitutes it and therefore subsidiary, though not strictly speaking secondary,<br />

so that the ‗hand‘ can be said to contain its bones and muscles, a more radical<br />

interpretation is possible. It could be said to start with that the ‗hand‘ is<br />

nothing more than that which constitutes it. Analogically, Reason is no more<br />

than the thought(s) which constitute(s) it. The effect here is to dissolve the<br />

whole question of the nature of Reason into the question of the nature of<br />

thought(s). Thus, Reason is not more than the presence of thought(s). That is,<br />

there is nothing-in-itself, called Reason. Reason is simply our exper<strong>ie</strong>nce of<br />

the presence of thought(s). In this way we can say that Reason is a thought;<br />

specifically, Reason is the presence of thought(s).<br />

But, while the ‗hand‘ is in a sense nothing more than the contents<br />

which constitute it, in another sense, the ‗hand‘ is more than its constitutive<br />

contents. The ‗hand‘ can do things which neither bones nor muscles can do<br />

individually. Again, bones and muscles constitute other parts of the body,<br />

without those parts being necessarily called ‗hands‘. Thus, on this analogy,<br />

Reason can be said to be more than the thought(s) which constitute(s) it. In<br />

this case, categorically, Reason is more than a thought. But even so, unlike<br />

bones and muscles, which can constitute non-hand parts of the body, it would<br />

seem that thoughts can only constitute one thing, that is, Reason. On the basis<br />

of this analogy, Reason can be said (1) to be more than the thoughts which<br />

constitute it. But it is also the case that (2) thoughts can only constitute<br />

Reason, and nothing else. Hence, given this uniqueness of the thought/Reason<br />

constitution, it can be said that Reason is only the presence of thought(s) (the<br />

inference from the first analogy drawn above from the metaphor of the hand),<br />

in the sense that thought(s) can constitute nothing but Reason. At the same<br />

time, however, the second analogy also impl<strong>ie</strong>s that Reason is nonetheless<br />

‗more than‘ the thoughts that constitute it.<br />

What is Reason‘s ‗more than‘?<br />

By analogy, Reason, like the ‗hand‘, can do something which its<br />

constituent parts individually cannot. But F ascribes no specific function to<br />

Reason other than being the ‗container‘ of thought-truth-objectivity-presence.<br />

That this analogy does not hold can be seen from another perspective. The<br />

thought/Reason constitution is unique, for thought(s) can constitute only<br />

Reason and nothing else. That is, thought(s) can have presence only in<br />

Reason; put otherwise, thought(s) cannot be independent of Reason. In its<br />

93

uniqueness, Reason can have no functions, that is, relations, for there is<br />

nothing to which it can relate.<br />

The conclusions to be drawn are:<br />

(1) Obviously, sameness and difference coincide only to the extent that one or<br />

other possesses the characteristic of the other, that is, only to the extent that<br />

the same is also different, or vice versa.<br />

(2) The tendency of the above discussion is to describe the same in the<br />

different, rather than vice versa. The reason for this bias l<strong>ie</strong>s in the fact that F<br />

posits Reason as a singularity. To have sought the different in the same would<br />

have led to a denial of F‘s account of Reason.<br />

(3) But the discussion in any case supports F‘s account. The uniqueness of the<br />

thought(s)/Reason constitution reaffirms the singularity of Reason. To<br />

contradict this argument, one would have to show what else thought(s) could<br />

constitute.<br />

(4) Of course, there is an element of definitional circularity here. ‗Reason‘ is<br />

defined in terms of the abiding (necessary) attributes of thought(s) truthobjectivity-presence.<br />

But given these attributes, it must be admitted that if<br />

thought(s) was/were said to constitute any other thing, that thing would be<br />

indistinguishable from Reason.<br />

(5) Thus, it is the nature of thought(s) which defines Reason. But it is the<br />

attributes of sameness which so define Reason. The question of the different<br />

contents of thoughts remained outside the discussion. It would seem then that<br />

sameness and difference cannot coincide in the Reason/thought(s)<br />

constitution, because the constitution is unique, that is, it possesses sameness<br />

in being a singularity, and a unity cannot differ in and from itself.<br />

Nevertheless, it remains the case that F does refer to thought(s), that is,<br />

to a plurality, which definitionally must imply some element of difference.<br />

Therefore the second answer to the question of how sameness and difference<br />

coincide must be attempted.<br />

(ii) Sameness and difference do not share the same nature, therefore they<br />

coincide through a relation.<br />

This means that sameness and difference are different. Hence, this<br />

answer will be an attempt to discover the different in the same.<br />

Hello?<br />

Lotty!<br />

Mother!<br />

I‘m sorry I‘ve rung so late, dear, but Tom wants to go tonight.<br />

It‘s alright, mother. It‘s not too late... I‘ve just put Brian down.<br />

It‘s nine o‘clock, dear... It does seem awfully late to start out, but Tom wants<br />

to meet someone tomorrow morning before going West. We‘re going to stay<br />

somewhere close by tonight.<br />

That‘s nice, mother. It will add to the holiday.<br />

Yes. That‘s true, dear. He seems awfully busy though. I told him we could<br />

cancel the weekend if he wanted. There‘s no point in going down if he can‘t relax.<br />

I expect he‘ll relax once he has done his business in the morning, mother.<br />

Don‘t worry... It looks as though you might have better weather, too.<br />

Yes. It has taken up, hasn‘t it? Wasn‘t the rain last night terrible? It kept me<br />

94

awake. It was worse than anything I‘ve exper<strong>ie</strong>nced before.<br />

Oh I think the thunderstorm last week was worse.<br />

Do you? It‘s a pity I missed it. Everyone seems to have been wakened by it,<br />

except me... That was, oh... You know, dear... It was one of those nights, dear. I<br />

would have slept through the end of the world that night.<br />

And the thunder was so loud, mother... It is really amazing... I had to get up to<br />

feed Brian. But Dan slept soundly.<br />

Did he? I thought you said he sat at the window. You said you were terrif<strong>ie</strong>d<br />

for him.<br />

Oh no, mother. Last night. I‘m talking about last night.<br />

Oh yes? I daresay he would. He is working so hard... Tom is the same.<br />

But he got soaked coming home... Actually, he seemed to enjoy that. I mean,<br />

walking through the rain.<br />

How is Brian, Lotty?<br />

As usual, mother... No. Actually, he is restless for some reason.<br />

Since yesterday?<br />

Yes. We must have over-stimulated him yesterday. It is usually so qu<strong>ie</strong>t for<br />

him here.<br />

He hasn‘t a cold or anything, Lotty, has he?<br />

No. His temperature is normal. I checked today. But he‘s not cranky, mother,<br />

just restless. You know, agitated. He clutches at everything and he keeps looking<br />

around.<br />

Strange... Perhaps he will settle down... But you‘re sure he didn‘t catch a chill<br />

yesterday? The wind was very cold.<br />

I‘m positive, mother. I expect you are right, though. He will settle down... He<br />

is asleep now.<br />

Good. Give him my love, Lotty. I do dote on him, I know, but he is such a<br />

good boy. I really can‘t help it.<br />

I will, mother... I hope you have a nice weekend. Get plenty of air and sun,<br />

won‘t you. There won‘t be many more chances before winter comes.<br />

Oh winter. And after this miserable summer... Well, I hope Tom gets his<br />

business done quickly in the morning. He is so up in the air at the moment.<br />

Are you worr<strong>ie</strong>d about it, mother? It‘s not like you to fret about him.<br />

No. I‘m not worr<strong>ie</strong>d, dear. But he usually is so good at keeping business and<br />

pleasure separate. This is a last-minute thing. We don‘t want any snags.<br />

Oh I‘m sure he‘ll clear it up quickly, mother.<br />

Yes. I daresay you are right, Lotty. Still, you know what last-minute changes<br />

are like. They can lead to such complications. I suppose so long as there are no snags.<br />

Oh, mother, relax. Enjoy your weekend.<br />

Yes, dear... Oh... Do you feel restless, Lotty?<br />

Restless?<br />

Yes. You say Brian is restless... Is Dan?<br />

What on earth, mother? He‘s not home yet.<br />

No? But it is the holiday weekend, Lotty.<br />

Hah. We agreed that we will both be up in the air until October.<br />

So you are restless.<br />

No. Not restless, mother. Distracted. Breast-feeding Brian has thrown all our<br />

schedules out. And Dan is working on the paper. It‘ll be finished by October. It has to<br />

be.<br />

I see... It might be the moon or something. It affects me like that sometimes...<br />

95

As you say, don‘t worry... You are right, Lotty. Yes...<br />

That‘s right, mother... Now go along and enjoy yourself.<br />

There might be a snag... Oh stop it! Hah... I‘ll go now, dear. Love to Brian and<br />

Dan... Tom‘s ready... Goodbye, Lotty, goodbye.<br />

Goodbye, mother... And I hope there will be no hitches.<br />

Is that you, Dan?<br />

Yes, Charley. Who else? I‘m late again. I should really have... Oh, you haven‘t<br />

put Brian up yet? I thought it was late.<br />

It‘s nearly ten, I think... No. I had put him down. But I went up to check after<br />

mother rang... I don‘t know why... He was wide awake.<br />

Was he crying?<br />

Oh no. He had his hands up in the air.<br />

He was just playing, Charley. You should have left him... He doesn‘t have to<br />

sleep all the time, you know.<br />

Yes... But I decided to bring him down... He is restless, isn‘t he, Dan?<br />

I suppose that‘s because you brought him down. He‘s not used to that.<br />

Mother says she was restless too... She was in a funny mood... Apparently,<br />

they are going off tonight. Tom has to see someone early in the morning. Before they<br />

go down to Galway... Are you restless?<br />

No. Not that I know of... Do I seem restless?<br />

No... Do I?<br />

No.<br />

Mother says she thinks it is the moon... Is the moon full?<br />

I didn‘t notice. I think it was earl<strong>ie</strong>r in the week.<br />

That‘s probably it then. She says it affects her sometimes. Though I‘ve never<br />

noticed that.<br />

The full moon is supposed to be brighter this time of the year.<br />

Is that so? Yes. Perhaps it is that... She did seem keyed up... And she said that<br />

Tom was too.<br />

More than likely it is the excitement of the holiday... I mean, the weather has<br />

been so bad.<br />

Yes. And she can be such a worr<strong>ie</strong>r at times... How is the paper?<br />

Oh coming along... It‘s not going in circles anyway.<br />

Did you think it was?<br />

It‘s so unlike anything I have ever written, Charley... I would not have thought<br />

I was a philosopher.<br />

Is that what it is, Dan? Philosophy?<br />

In a way... Actually, it is a route, in a sense, from one part of my main<br />

argument to another.<br />

What is it about?<br />

Truth and reason.<br />

Yes. That sounds philosophical... What has it to do with the history of ideas?<br />

I suppose the question I‘m investigating at the moment is, What are ideas, that<br />

they can have a history?<br />

And what answer do you have?<br />

Nothing at the moment... I‘m still investigating.<br />

It does sound interesting, Dan... But is it not too technical? I mean, what will<br />

96

Professor Dodgeson think? He is a historian.<br />

Dodgeson? This is not the paper, Charley. It‘s more like background stuff. It<br />

often happens. I wrote a thirty page paper for MacBr<strong>ie</strong>n during my research which<br />

finally had nothing to do with my thesis... You see? I had to learn about it, even<br />

though it wasn‘t relevant.<br />

How tedious, Dan... No wonder I never contemplated doing research.<br />

It‘s not that bad, Charley... Sometimes learning can be a matter of finding out<br />

what is not relevant.<br />

You should know what you are doing by now... Have you eaten?<br />

No. Have you?<br />

I had a snack. I decided to wait until you came home.<br />

Good... Do you want me to cook?<br />

Will you?<br />

Sure. What is there?<br />

I bought some sirloin... I thought you might do your specialty... with pepper<br />

and mustard.<br />

Oh yes... I‘ll enjoy that... Would you like some tea?<br />

Yes... And there‘s spinach. It‘s fresh.<br />

Good... Should you put Brian up?<br />

Look at him, Dan. He‘s wide awake... I‘d like him to stay with us. Do you<br />

mind?<br />

No. Not for tonight anyway... He is very alert, Charley... Brian... Brian... How<br />

are you, old son?<br />

He‘s not gripping your finger, Dan.<br />

No... It‘s as though he is preoccup<strong>ie</strong>d.<br />

Isn‘t it? Yes...<br />

Did anything happen to him?<br />

No... Mother thought it was the excitement yesterday.<br />

Nothing happened yesterday, did it?<br />

No... You know how mother dotes on him... She makes such a fuss.<br />

Well, he should settle down.<br />

Yes... Now. Start dinner, Dan. I‘m ravenous.<br />

Okay...<br />

Did you see someone today, Dan?<br />

Why yes... How did you know?<br />

You seem preoccup<strong>ie</strong>d too... I mean, behind everything.<br />

My jap student... She‘s having problems with Rousseau.<br />

Is it a burden?<br />

Not really. Her problem is not strictly an academic one... Academically, she is<br />

on her own. I‘ve made that clear to her... No. It‘s some kind of personal hang-up...<br />

She has a remarkable contempt for him.<br />

Should she not have?<br />

Academically, no... She seems to be taking him very personally... I mean as a<br />

man.<br />

Oh... Does jap have it down on all men?<br />

I don‘t know, Charley. I haven‘t asked her... Anyway, that‘s not an academic<br />

matter.<br />

She might have... She sounds a bit of what the Americans call a ball-breaker.<br />

A ball-breaker?<br />

Yes. Graphic, isn‘t it?<br />

97

Three-dimensional... I told her she was peevish.<br />

Did you? That‘s not very academic.<br />

But she does gripe about everything.<br />

Gripe?<br />

Her word... She whines... Though she whines aggressively, if you know what I<br />

mean... Gripe seems to describe it better.<br />

But peevish, Dan?<br />

What‘s wrong with that?<br />

Perhaps she wants attention... She must be lonely here. Everyone is away and<br />

the weather is miserable.<br />

She can go to a club or something, can‘t she?<br />

I wouldn‘t... Ugh.<br />

She‘s a ball-breaker... She‘d be well able for it.<br />

They are fairly insensitive. You know the kind, Dan. Lusty with a half bottle<br />

of whiskey aboard.<br />

What? Where did you get all these expressions, Charley?<br />

What‘s wrong with them?<br />

It‘s not like you to be so pungent... Ha... Got it.<br />

What?<br />

You sitting there with your baby in your lap... You are jealous.<br />

Jealous? Are you serious?<br />

Well, don‘t be... It‘s strictly academic.<br />

I know that, Dan... But it looks as though she is on the prowl.<br />

Prowl! She probably has no one else to talk to, Charley.<br />

Why did she come here? Not academic brilliance, from what you have told<br />

me.<br />

That‘s true... I suppose a chance to spend a year in Europe.<br />

And get herself a European... I remember some of the one-year American<br />

students. Some of them had a phantasy of marrying an aristocrat.<br />

Hhh! That leaves me out... So there.<br />

But they wouldn‘t know an aristocrat if they met one. For them, aristocracy is<br />

style, that‘s all.<br />

Louis the fourteenth‘s pensioners?<br />

Exactly.<br />

Not the busy barons of the middle ages.<br />

No... They‘re too much like their own capitalist barons.<br />

Indeed.<br />

But you‘ve got style, Dan.<br />

Is that what it is?<br />

That‘s how it appears to your jap... And she probably thinks she is classy New<br />

York.<br />

But she‘s not liberated, Charley. Not really... Ah. I‘ve just realised. She‘s mad<br />

because the intellectual Rousseau was impotent.<br />

Impotent? Did she say that?<br />

She impl<strong>ie</strong>d that all men... at least eighteenth century Frenchmen... were<br />

impotent.<br />

Hardly the reason for getting so annoyed.<br />

No... But Rousseau took up with an illiterate serving girl... Is that it? The<br />

intellectual looking for the body and never mind the head, that is, the educated<br />

woman?<br />

98

That‘s more like it.<br />

Doesn‘t say much for you, Charley.<br />

Does she know of me?<br />

No.<br />

She probably thinks I must be pretty stupid if I‘m not out in the world... You<br />

know, peevish and ambitious.<br />

Well, you are not peevish. Nor are you stupid.<br />

Did Rousseau and the serving girl have any children?<br />

Several... Rousseau put them into an orphanage.<br />

Did he?<br />

Yes. That really made her mad.<br />

Why?<br />

He didn‘t treat them like human beings... Nor, for that matter, did he regard<br />

women as being human beings... She‘s written a paper about it... which I must read.<br />

You mean she has written a research paper about her gripe?<br />

No. It‘s more objective than that. It‘s about man in the state of nature. You<br />

know, the noble savage. Actually, her point is a good one. She argues that because<br />

Rousseau bel<strong>ie</strong>ved that the noble savage lived happily in isolation... he was happy<br />

because he didn‘t have to compete with other men... it follows that he must have<br />

gained sexual satisfaction in isolation also. But he could only have such satisfaction<br />

by means of some kind of relation with a woman. This means that the woman must<br />

have been treated as a natural object... like a fruit tree, for instance... and not as<br />

another human being... As I say, it is an interesting point... But she is taking Rousseau<br />

himself too much to heart in the process... I told her she was peevish to make her<br />

conscious of the fact... She might stop complaining now and get on with her work...<br />

This is nearly ready. What about Brian?<br />

I‘ll put him on the floor where he can see us... It is interesting, Dan... What do<br />

you think?<br />

How?<br />

Is it true?<br />

In Rousseau‘s case, yes... Actually, like a lot of theorists, the only way he talks<br />

about relations between men and women... sexual relations, I mean... is within the<br />

context of marriage. As a social relationship, I mean, not as a natural or personal<br />

relationship... Sit up to the table, Charley. I‘m bringing it in.<br />

Sounds an interesting paper, Dan.<br />

Perhaps... I don‘t know how she works it out... Here you are.<br />

I‘m going to enjoy this, Dan. I‘m starving.<br />

Good... The steak is very tender... Thick, too.<br />

Yes. I thought you would cook it.<br />

Did you? I did mean to come home early tonight... But I wanted to finish a<br />

section. I‘m always afraid I‘ll lose the thread of the argument if I leave it over.<br />

Is it very demanding?<br />

Not in the way I expected... This steak is good, Charley. You‘re a good judge<br />

of food, do you know that?<br />

Hah... Thank you. It‘s a kind of instinct, I suppose... I didn‘t plan to buy it. But<br />

when I saw it in the window, I immediately thought of you cooking it.<br />

Do you want some wine? I forgot.<br />

No. Not for me.<br />

Me neither. The food will do the trick.<br />

Can I read it?<br />

99

The paper? They are only notes.<br />

No. The jap‘s paper, I mean.<br />

That? Why not?<br />

Do you think she will mind?<br />

No. She might actually be flattered... I‘ll bring it out on Monday... Tuesday<br />

rather... It‘s a pity Brian can‘t join us yet... But it‘s nice that he‘s here anyway...<br />

It‘s strange, Dan... He‘s practically ignoring us.<br />

Mmm? Yes. You are right... What is he thinking of, do you think?<br />

Nothing, I expect... Perhaps bab<strong>ie</strong>s of his age do that... Become more<br />

interested in their surroundings.<br />

He is staring at the lamp, Charley... He‘s not really looking around him. Brian!<br />

Brian, old son.<br />

How grave he is... It is as though he was thinking about something... But he‘s<br />

really too young to do that... Isn‘t he?<br />

Are you sure nothing happened to him?<br />

Yes... Oh... I told mother what you had said last week about telepathy. She<br />

decided to try it...<br />

Did she?<br />

She projected... or whatever... an image of love to Brian and he kicked. It was<br />

quite remarkable.<br />

Perhaps he heard his name or something.<br />

You don‘t bel<strong>ie</strong>ve her?<br />

It‘s not that, Charley... But consciousness destroys those sort of powers.<br />

I suggested that... Mother called his name and he didn‘t kick... But he did kick<br />

when she projected her love at him.<br />

Your mother is uncanny.<br />

Are you joking, Dan?<br />

No. Not really... But she is spontaneous in her feelings... She could do it.<br />

Couldn‘t we? I sometimes pick up your moods.<br />

Sympathy. It‘s not very specific.<br />

If we tr<strong>ie</strong>d it.<br />

Why? Just to see if it would work?<br />

No... Perhaps to see what is worrying him.<br />

Are you serious?<br />

But you are the one who introduced the idea.<br />

I was speculating... It must have been an idle moment.<br />

It seems to have worked for mother.<br />

Do it, then... It will either work or it will not.<br />

No... I‘d rather you did it.<br />

Why?<br />

I feel I‘m too close to him.<br />

And... Very well... I‘ll do it after dinner. Though I can‘t see it working for me.<br />

Why not?<br />

My head is full of this paper.<br />

Oh, try it anyway... Go on.<br />

Afterwards.<br />

No. Now... Do it now.<br />

Curiosity... Brian...<br />

Don‘t speak... Project it...<br />

Let me do it my way, Charley.<br />

100

is it?<br />

Sorry.<br />

Brian... Brian... What‘s wrong? Tell your daddy... Look at me... Here... What<br />

Well?<br />

Mmm?<br />

What is it, Dan? Don‘t tease me. I saw his expression change.<br />

Yes... It did, didn‘t it? When he looked at me, I had a distinct image of a<br />

flower.<br />

A flower? What kind of flower?<br />

I don‘t know... The image was distinct... as a flower, I mean... but each time I<br />

concentrated on it, it became blurred... You see? I don‘t think Brian knows what an<br />

actual flower looks like yet... His eyesight isn‘t that good yet... I call it a flower<br />

because... that‘s what it most seems like to me.<br />

Was it coloured?<br />

In a way... I suspect it was whatever colour I thought it was.<br />

He‘s watching you, Dan... Is he listening?<br />

Are you, Brian? He is... You‘re afraid, Charley?<br />

It‘s weird... I feel it along my spine.<br />

What are you afraid of?<br />

I can‘t bel<strong>ie</strong>ve he‘s communicating with you, Dan... I just can‘t bel<strong>ie</strong>ve it,<br />

that‘s all.<br />

Perhaps it is my imagination... Suggestion, I mean.<br />

No... I can see that he is... He is looking at you so intently.<br />

You do it, Charley... He‘d like that.<br />

No! No, Dan.<br />

Why not? It won‘t do any harm.<br />

I don‘t want to.<br />

Brian can hear you.<br />

Oh! It‘s silly, Dan... You can‘t talk to a month-old infant... It has to... Oh...<br />

oh...<br />

Brian!... Charley... Charley, what is it? Come back... Charley... Wait...<br />

Oh, oh.<br />

What is it, Charley? Why are you so frightened?<br />

We shouldn‘t be doing this, Dan... We must treat him like a baby... a human<br />

baby... It‘s not right, Dan.<br />

Come back inside, Charley... Come on, sweetheart. I‘ll make some coffee... Sit<br />

down... You‘re letting yourself get overwrought... I‘ll put the coffee on and then take<br />

Brian upstairs...<br />

I‘m alright, Dan... I think I lost my nerve... But do you understand? We<br />

shouldn‘t be doing this to him, Dan. It‘ll make him very unhappy later.<br />

How do you mean?<br />

You‘re not letting him forget.<br />

Forget? Forget what?<br />

I don‘t know what it is, Dan... But you must let him become a human being.<br />

What is he now, Charley?<br />

A baby... A very immature human being... You said it yourself.<br />

When?<br />

The night Maire MacMahon called... You said we had to destroy something in<br />

children in order to make them adults.<br />

But I didn‘t mean it in that sense.<br />

101

I know you meant something like innocence, Dan... But it is more than that.<br />

What is it, then?<br />

It‘s what mother means when she calls him good.<br />

But that is innocence, surely, Charley.<br />

No... It makes her joyous and... well, eager – like compelling love or beauty.<br />

The flower?<br />

Yes... I suppose so.<br />

Didn‘t you see it?<br />

No.<br />

Then why were you so upset?<br />

It was wrong... I knew that suddenly.<br />

You didn‘t see the flower?<br />

No. I forgot... Obviously you didn‘t.<br />

But there was something else.<br />

It‘s hard to say, Dan... It just came into my head then.<br />

What... Wait. I‘ll lower the coffee... What about Brian?.. Will I leave him?<br />

Yes... He knows already, Dan.<br />

How?<br />

He does... But it‘s this, Dan. I‘ll tell you what came into my mind... He must<br />

forget... the mother... I... you know... must break trust.<br />

How do you mean?<br />

You remember my seal dream?<br />

Yes.<br />

That. You brought it into the open... That started the process... You woke me<br />

up... as a mother, I mean... It‘s very obscure I know, Dan... But this is what I<br />

understood...<br />

What about the seal?<br />

You remember I used to dream of it diving down and down into the sea?<br />

Yes.<br />

Well, that was me... in a sense... I was diving after my baby... Brian.<br />

And?<br />

Do you understand that?<br />

It makes sense... I mean, symbolically.<br />

Good... Well, the flower... as you call it... that is Brian‘s image of me... Not<br />

exactly me... what he remembers.<br />

You mean while he was part of you?<br />

I don‘t know... Birth arouses something... I don‘t know what. It could be more<br />

than that. Being in the womb, I mean.<br />

Some kind of prior existence. As in Plato?<br />

Plato? Oh yes... I don‘t know, Dan... I honestly don‘t know... All I know is<br />

that I should forget the seal... Which I have done... Thanks to you... And Brian is to<br />

forget the flower.<br />

How?<br />

Perhaps through you.<br />

This is suspiciously like Freud, you know.<br />

Yes, it is... But this is not just psychology... You have the distance already,<br />

Dan... Don‘t be offended... But you are a kind of outsider... Do you understand that?<br />

Yes... Oh I‘m being wry, Charley... I‘m not offended... How do I do it? It<br />

seems very cruel.<br />

It‘s necessary... It would be crueller if you didn‘t... He would suffer so much...<br />

102

But... yes... Remember I said that you treated him as though he was a member of your<br />

gang?.. Well, like that, I think.<br />

Identification, you mean?<br />

Yes... He‘ll become like you... a man, I mean... It is so sad, Dan... We have to<br />

separate from him like that... It must be the saddest thing.<br />

I know.<br />

Do you?<br />

Yes. I felt it before he was an hour old.<br />

Did you? You didn‘t tell me.<br />

I thought it might hurt you... It came to me quite clearly... The instant I let my<br />

love for him flow I knew he was another person... Distinct from me, I mean... He<br />

wasn‘t simply mine in the way an object could be... You seem a bit put out, Charley.<br />

I thought you didn‘t know, Dan... I thought men couldn‘t know that... Daddy...<br />

He must have known... I always thought he didn‘t know... Mother always seemed to<br />

protect him.<br />

I daresay he knew at some point or other... But he may have let himself forget<br />

it... That can be done.<br />

Yes... Perhaps... But I must think about it, Dan... No. I won‘t have any<br />

coffee... I‘ll take Brian up... I‘ll l<strong>ie</strong> down too... Do you mind?<br />

Mmm? No... I‘ll have some coffee... But I‘ll come up soon... But isn‘t it rather<br />

soon after dinner?<br />

Not for one night... Come on, Brian... You‘re tired, aren‘t you?<br />

Charley... How do you feel?<br />

Rel<strong>ie</strong>ved... We seemed to have cleared something up... Do you agree?<br />

Yes... Perhaps we are over the crisis of birth now.<br />

Crisis? Yes... That‘s a good way of putting it... Goodnight, darling...<br />

Goodnight... Goodnight, old son... Sleep well.<br />

103

II<br />

104

SATURDAY<br />

What time is it, Dan ?<br />

Good morning, sweetheart. It‘s about half-ten. Did you sleep well?<br />

So-so... I feel so heavy.<br />

Perhaps that‘s because you slept on a full stomach.<br />

Yes. That‘s probably it... Did you sleep well?<br />

I seemed to dream the same dream all night. I don‘t remember any details... It<br />

was more like thinking than dreaming... You know the feeling... of being half-awake<br />

and aware and yet oblivious of everything but the thought.<br />

Yes. I know that feeling... I think I slept heavily... I‘ve only a hazy memory of<br />

getting up to fed Brian... I must have done... Where is he? I‘ve just remembered he<br />

wasn‘t in the room... I must feed him.<br />

He‘s in the garden... It‘s quite sunny. I put him down by the wall. It‘s out of<br />

the wind... I fed him.<br />

How? I...<br />

I found the bottles and preparation you bought yesterday... No. It‘s okay. I<br />

followed all the instructions carefully... Actually, it‘s much like making yoghurt.<br />

Except of course you give the preparation to Brian rather than incubating it.<br />

How did he respond?<br />

I think he was a bit annoyed... But he was hungry.<br />

Oh... It has to be done sooner or later... Probably just as well... I wasn‘t sure<br />

how to introduce the bottle.<br />

Yes. Perhaps it‘s as well I did it... Anyway, I wanted you to sleep on, Charley.<br />

Thank you, Dan... That was considerate... I‘ll breast feed him next time... I<br />

think we should alternate the feeds. What do you think?<br />

Something like that... But give him a bottle at night. Then I can take turns with<br />

you.<br />

Do you want to, Dan? It‘ll break your sleep and you have this paper.<br />

It‘ll give you a break... It‘ll take less than an hour.<br />

A bottle at night is a good idea perhaps... You don‘t have to get up in the<br />

night... You could feed him in the morning... I would prefer that.<br />

Very well... Will you miss not feeding him? Breast-feeding, I mean.<br />

In a way... But it causes a lot of discomfort. If only he wasn‘t so aggressive.<br />

But as you say, it would have to be stopped sometime. Now is obviously the<br />

time... Do you want breakfast?<br />

Yes... No... Just cereal... I‘ll... Oh look...<br />

What is it?<br />

There‘s a bird on the edge of the pram.<br />

Where? It‘s a magp<strong>ie</strong>.<br />

Oh chase it away, Dan... It might attack Brian... They peck out eyes.<br />

Don‘t be silly, Charley... Hoi!... Scat!<br />

Krk!<br />

Dan, it‘s not moving!... Be careful!<br />

Scat!<br />

Krk!<br />

105

Go!... Get off!...<br />

Krk!<br />

How is he?<br />

Come out, Charley... The magp<strong>ie</strong> won‘t hurt you... They are very cautious, as<br />

a rule... Look... Brian seems to have enjoyed that.<br />

He wasn‘t frightened?<br />

No... Look at how bright his eyes are.<br />

Brian... I‘ll take him up.<br />

There it is... Do you see? In the sycamore... And look... There‘s its mate. Just<br />

above... There... to the right... They mate for life. They are always together.<br />

Krk!<br />

Krkrkrk!<br />

Oh...<br />

What?<br />

Brian kicked.<br />

He likes them... Look how he lifts his hands towards them.<br />

But they are so big, Dan... They could be dangerous. Brian is helpless out<br />

here.<br />

Perhaps they are the first living things he has noticed... Other than a few<br />

adults... No wonder he is thrilled.<br />

I‘m going to take him in.<br />

Don‘t, Charley... The air is good for him... It‘ll soon be winter... I‘ll put some<br />

kind of screen across the hood... Anyway, I think I will do some work out here.<br />

In the garden?<br />

Yes... It‘s pretty scruffy after all the rain.<br />

I‘ll bring him in for a few moments, Dan... I haven‘t seen him this morning.<br />

Come and have your breakfast anyway...<br />

Dan.<br />

Yes?<br />

Aren‘t magp<strong>ie</strong>s supposed to bring bad luck?<br />

I hope not... There are a lot of them around now.<br />

But they say that to see just one predicts sorrow.<br />

It‘s mate was there, too... Two of them are for joy.<br />

But only one came down to Brian.<br />

That‘s how they operate... One comes into the garden to search for food, while<br />

the other stays up in the trees on watch... Haven‘t you noticed?<br />

No... I‘ve never paid any attention to them.<br />

I‘ve seen them do it hundreds of times in the garden... You‘d see one of them<br />

hopping about in the garden. Then it would call and its mate would answer. I suppose<br />

it‘s reporting.<br />

You make them seem very intelligent.<br />

I‘ll hold Brian while you eat... They are as intelligent as any life is... I mean,<br />

they are equal to the demands of their kind of existence.<br />

But the way it sat looking at Brian?<br />

Perhaps it had never seen a baby either.<br />

Are you serious?<br />

Why not? I expect that pair know this garden very well... It‘s the first time<br />

Brian has been put down there.<br />

So you don‘t think it was some kind of omen?<br />

Oh hardly, Charley... Are you becoming superstitious?<br />

106

Not superstitious, Dan... There have been so many other weird things since he<br />

was born.<br />

A state of mind, Charley... Stop worrying.<br />

Why are you so sceptical? You weren‘t last night.<br />

You are reading too much into everything, Charley... It‘s one thing to<br />

speculate on our relationship with Brian. But it‘s another to see omens in what are<br />

pure accidents.<br />

I‘m not superstitious, Dan... Don‘t tell me I am... I‘m not looking for omens in<br />

everything... It‘s just... Oh Dan... I feel so awful...<br />

It‘s after last night... We had a heavy meal so late...<br />

No! When I saw the bird... the magp<strong>ie</strong>, I just thought that something had<br />

happened... It was just like that!... It came into my mind...<br />

Perhaps you are being credulous... You‘ve only just got up.<br />

Please, Dan... And Brian... The way he responded to the bird.<br />

I‘ll make some tea... Charley... Now... Stop it, will you... You are<br />

overwrought... Take it easy... Let everything run on... I mean let it go over your<br />

head... Will you hold Brian?.. Actually, we ought to put him out again.<br />

No... I want to change his clothes first... He had these on yesterday... Now...<br />

I‘m calm.<br />

Good... Let‘s talk about something else... We should take Brian out today. The<br />

weather is pretty decent for once... What about Sandymount? I‘ll carry Brian in that<br />

sling affair... If the tide is out we can walk on the sand.<br />

I want to do some shopping first... No... Not Stillorgan... I‘ll drive over to<br />

Rathmines. I‘ll leave the car in the shopping centre.<br />

Do you want me to come with you?<br />

No... You mind Brian... I need a few things... I must get something for<br />

Monday.<br />

It‘s a good idea... Tea... I‘ll put Brian on the floor... Here... Down you go, old<br />

son... Charley?<br />

Yes?<br />

We should have him baptised soon.<br />

Oh yes... I had forgotten...<br />

And we‘ll have a christening party. We must resume contact with everyone.<br />

Mmm... Yes... Who will we invite? Everyone?<br />

No... I think we should keep it small... Maire MacMahon, anyway... We‘ve<br />

already invited her... Oh and Tony Hackett... I think I‘ve invited him too.<br />

But Tony doesn‘t like Maire!<br />

He can talk to someone else...<br />

Who? He doesn‘t know many of our fr<strong>ie</strong>nds.<br />

Oh he can be sociable when he pleases... Then your mother and Tom Spencer.<br />

Anyone from College?<br />

I don‘t know... I‘m out of history now and only half in the politics<br />

department... I‘ll think about it... Can you think of anyone? From history, I mean.<br />

The Cliffords?<br />

That would mean inviting some of your old College group... Jackson and the<br />

like.<br />

What‘s wrong with that?<br />

They won‘t mix... Anyway, the Cliffords have new chums now... Perhaps they<br />

won‘t be interested in Keith and the others.<br />

Oh, just for one evening they will, Dan... I‘ll think about it... What about the<br />

107

politics department? You don‘t socialise with them at all.<br />

That‘s because they don‘t socialise period... I know we must invite Professor<br />

Drake to dinner one of these days. But I want to leave that until later in the year... The<br />

others? Well, they are either English academic left<strong>ie</strong>s or introverted intellectuals... I<br />

can‘t see them mixing either... It‘s supposed to be an informal party for Brian... The<br />

people we invite must be at least interested in him.<br />

But there should be more than six.<br />

There will be... We‘ll think about it... And I‘ll get in touch with the<br />

Reverend... what‘s his name anyway? The new one.<br />

Clarke... Of course you haven‘t met him... He‘s young.<br />

I‘ll meet him soon no doubt.<br />

Mother met him once... We were walking up from Ranelagh... Hah... She said<br />

his conversation was like sermonising in a low voice.<br />

And his sermons are conversations out loud!<br />

Hah-hah!<br />

Hhh!... I can imagine.<br />

Ha... But he is very pleasant, Dan. So don‘t mock him.<br />

I wouldn‘t.<br />

But you are so ambiguous towards clergymen.<br />

They are ambiguous people.<br />

The men of God?<br />

Yes...<br />

You don‘t take them very seriously, Dan, do you?<br />

Who does?<br />

We should, you know... I‘ll change Brian... Dan.<br />

Yes?<br />

He is much calmer today, isn‘t he?<br />

Brian? Yes. I told you a night‘s sleep would settle him down... Isn‘t that right,<br />

old son?<br />

How grave he is... I expect he has forgiven you for feeding him with the<br />

bottle.<br />

He‘ll get over it... Won‘t you? Looks as though he has.<br />

Well, I‘m glad he has settled down... He can be intense.<br />

Intense?<br />

Yes... Who does he get that from?<br />

You, I suppose.<br />

Mmm... You are too cool... You are, you know, Dan. You are extraordinarily<br />

steady.<br />

Like my mother, no doubt... Just keep going.<br />

Yes. That‘s it... You do... There... Will you put him out?<br />

Sure... I‘m going out anyway.<br />

I won‘t be long... Do you want anything?<br />

No... Take your time.<br />

Just a few things, Dan... See you... Bye, Brian... Keep the magp<strong>ie</strong>s away,<br />

won‘t you?<br />

They won‘t come down while I‘m out there... Take care, sweetheart... Come<br />

on, old son... You are calm... Almost satisf<strong>ie</strong>d... What is it? Mmm? Who loves you?<br />

We all do... Come on, chum... Say hello to the magp<strong>ie</strong>s... Look... There... In the<br />

trees... Of course you can‘t see them... But listen...<br />

Krk! Krkrk!<br />

108

Krkrk!<br />

There!... You do like that! Welcome to the world, Brian...<br />

I‘m back!... Oh there you are... What are you doing, Dan?<br />

I‘m showing Brian the flowers and trees.<br />

But he won‘t understand!... You can be just as silly as mother.<br />

He touches them... He was afraid at first... He put his finger into a rose just as<br />

the wind shook it. He got an awful start... But he‘s got used to that now. He shakes<br />

them himself... I think he knows they are alive... I daresay he will pull them to p<strong>ie</strong>ces<br />

when he gets older. They always do... Watch... There you are, Brian old son... A<br />

chrysanthemum... Look, Charley. See how he strokes it.<br />

But he hardly knows what he is doing, Dan. He really is too young.<br />

Perhaps... But he does respond. I know he won‘t remember it when he‘s<br />

older... But the exper<strong>ie</strong>nce will be there. Bur<strong>ie</strong>d in his memory.<br />

Krk!<br />

Krk! Krk!<br />

Oh... Are they still here, Dan?<br />

Yes... Up in the sycamore... See? They‘ve been sitting there all morning,<br />

talking to one another.<br />

I wish they would go away, Dan... I don‘t like them.<br />

They are harmless... They‘re probably resting up there.<br />

They give me the shivers... Come on... Are we still going down to<br />

Sandymount?<br />

Yes. The sun is very pleasant. After all that rain. But wear a jacket, Charley.<br />

There‘s a wind.<br />

I know.<br />

Do you want some lunch first?<br />

No... But I had better feed Brian... You eat while I‘m doing it.<br />

You don‘t have to go upstairs.<br />

No... You‘re right... I can do it here.<br />

Are you sure you won‘t eat something... You had very little for breakfast.<br />

No... I don‘t feel hungry... Perhaps it‘s because I slept on that heavy meal last<br />

night... Rathmines was very unpleasant... Everyone seemed so testy.<br />

The holiday... I expect a lot decided not to go away... I see what you mean<br />

about Brian.<br />

Mmm? Yes. I can‘t control him... He gets very aggressive.<br />

It‘s almost convulsive, Charley... I hadn‘t thought it was quite so bad... I<br />

would have insisted on using the bottle.<br />

No. He‘s worse than usual... because you gave him the bottle this morning.<br />

Perhaps a clean break?<br />

No! No... That might be traumatic for him... At least I know what is<br />

happening. He wouldn‘t.<br />

Poor Charley... You are bring eaten alive.<br />

Hhh!... Still...<br />

You enjoy it nonetheless?<br />

It‘s not sexual, Dan... I‘ve told you that.<br />

I know... I bel<strong>ie</strong>ve you... But it is pleasurable for you... As it is for Brian.<br />

109

Satisfying is a better word.<br />

No wonder he was annoyed this morning... A plastic teat is no substitute.<br />

I don‘t think it‘s that alone... This way, it is all one... Mmm? Can you see that?<br />

He is surrounded.<br />

Secure?<br />

No... Continuous.<br />

Yes... The bottle is not?<br />

No. Though he gets the same kind of satisfaction... I mean satiation... It‘s not<br />

complete... Dan, it will make him selfish.<br />

Selfish?<br />

Yes... He‘ll have to provide some of the satisfaction himself... Do you see?<br />

Vaguely.<br />

How will I put it? Yes... At the moment everything is being provided for him.<br />

But his aggression?<br />

All he has to do is take it.<br />

But isn‘t that selfishness?<br />

No... It is complete, Dan... There is no boundary between himself and... well<br />

me and the milk and the warmth... He is like a pipe... He takes all the milk that can<br />

pass through it.<br />

You mean it is... his capacity?<br />

Yes... But with the bottle there is a boundary... because the feeding is not<br />

complete... The selfishness arises because he cannot help but try to complete his<br />

satisfaction... like... for instance, you buy... say a cake or something. But for one<br />

reason or another it hasn‘t the flavour or sweetness it should have... You would add<br />

something to the cake to make it completely what you think it should be.<br />

Yes. I understand you... So what does Brian add?<br />

Well, it‘s not as simple as that example... In a sense, Brian cannot add<br />

something in order to complete his satisfaction. He cannot add enough, yes, enough<br />

to...<br />

Yes. Go on.<br />

He must do it in his imagination.<br />

Phantasy?<br />

Yes.<br />

That‘s pretty strong, Charley.<br />

I thought about it while I was shopping... And... It seemed to make sense...<br />

Sublimation of sorts.<br />

Does it work? I mean, does the sublimation complete the satisfaction?<br />

Perhaps for an infant.<br />

Got you... The shoppers?<br />

No. Not just them...<br />

Everybody?<br />

Yes.<br />

And it doesn‘t work for adults.<br />

Not if they try to make it real... you know... Connect it with things.<br />

Ah... Now I see it... And Brian is now receiving complete satisfaction?<br />

Yes.<br />

Lucky for him... Perhaps then if I was to take his place...<br />

No...<br />

No?<br />

You know...<br />

110

Yes... I thought so... I see now why you are so reluctant to change him over...<br />

He will never have such a real exper<strong>ie</strong>nce again.<br />

Perhaps it is not real.<br />

Hhh? But you...<br />

Perhaps it is a total phantasy for him, Dan.<br />

How do you mean?<br />

I don‘t know whether I provide him with a real satisfaction or he just imagines<br />

I do.<br />

Charley!... Lovely!... You know, you should have done research... You really<br />

should have... Oh that is nice.<br />

Thank you... Perhaps some day...<br />

Do.<br />

But you see, don‘t you? We can‘t ask Brian about it... We can‘t really know<br />

what he exper<strong>ie</strong>nces... I mean in that way... For himself.<br />

Nice. Nice... But you did generalise, Charley... What about that?<br />

Apply the theory... Who is ever completely satisf<strong>ie</strong>d?<br />

Perhaps you when you are feeding Brian.<br />

No. Not really... I can see my boundary with Brian... But I don‘t feel any<br />

resistance from him... That‘s the unusual thing, Dan... We usually exper<strong>ie</strong>nce the<br />

resistance of others... and things... their separateness... But when Brian is feeding,<br />

there is no boundary in him.<br />

And at other times?<br />

Increasingly... Actually, I think always... I have to lift him and that...<br />

Otherwise, he is completely helpless.<br />

Except when he soils.<br />

Mmm? Yes... Yes... But that is usually for himself... He doesn‘t need me or<br />

anyone else.<br />

That‘s very interesting, Charley... It really is... No wonder you are reluctant...<br />

You will lose that exper<strong>ie</strong>nce.<br />

Yes... But it won‘t be so bad for me.<br />

Still... You will miss it... Until the next time.<br />

Yes... But it will never be the same again... Come on, Brian... He‘s falling<br />

asleep.<br />

Should we wait until he has slept?<br />

No... Put him in the back of the car... We can put him down when we get back.<br />

I‘ll take him then... He‘s nothing but a bag of milk now.<br />

Hhh... From me to him.<br />

Will you be long?<br />

No. You go out to the car... I‘ll follow... Oh, shall I bring some rainwear, Dan?<br />

Do you think so? Okay... No harm in that. There might be a shower. You‘re<br />

completely smashed, old son. Hhh... Go on... Go to sleep if you must...<br />

I‘ve brought the harness...<br />

Yes... Actually, Charley, he‘ll be able to sleep in that, won‘t he ?<br />

He might find it strange. We‘ve never used it before.<br />

We‘ll see... Have you got everything?<br />

Yes... I brought some fruit... Apples.<br />

A regular outing, what?<br />

To Sandymount?<br />

Oh don‘t put Sandymount down, Charley... Perhaps it‘s not as picturesque as<br />

Killiney... I went through a phase when I loved walking on the strand there more than<br />

111

anything else in the world... Do you know that?<br />

No. You‘ve never told me about that.<br />

I was about ten or eleven... Perhaps it was the early stage of puberty or<br />

something... I did it summer and winter. I would walk right out to the water. That‘s<br />

over a mile when the tide is out... I remember the sky most of all... Absolutely huge. It<br />

would swell up from the horizon and seem to spread out all about me... You don‘t<br />

know how beautiful and interesting the sky can be, Charley... There were Renaissance<br />

sk<strong>ie</strong>s... you know... great billows of cumulus coming up from the horizon... Bathed in<br />

coppery or golden light... The sort of sky when God touched Adam... finger to<br />

finger... Then, especially in the summer, there would be tamer Constable sk<strong>ie</strong>s... The<br />

cumulus would be less immense, and bathed in a soft white light... Wistful in a way,<br />

but rather featureless... Have you ever seen that?<br />

Go on...<br />

Well, sometimes in the winter, when it was clear in the evening, you would<br />

get what I used to call a Dutch sky. The colour of the sky would be a burnished red<br />

bronze on the horizon to the west. There would be a black in it, like smoke... Do you<br />

know, that could really wrench me. I used to see it as cold fire... I would really savour<br />

that paradox... It created a sense of immense distance... so poignant, Charley. It used<br />

to make me feel so alone and yet so warm... a kind of melancholy content... Anyway,<br />

further up, the sky would become green... Very serene... That really was remote and<br />

cool... practically unreachable... Yes. I did enjoy the paradoxes, Charley.<br />

Already a philosopher?<br />

No. It was all feeling, Charley. It was a kind of mystical exper<strong>ie</strong>nce... Then the<br />

sky... higher up again... would become a really cold blue... That was slightly<br />

repelling... But I resisted being repelled... It would create a remoteness in me... instead<br />

of in the sky... Do you see? If it became too strong I would switch my attention back<br />

down the sky... to the sunset... and to the dark silhouette of‘ the city... Uh. There‘s a<br />

train coming... They take so long... But, Charley... The city used to give me such<br />

comfort then... It looked so innocent... The smoke rising... The odd sound... you<br />

know... cars and buses... but especially the train horns... They always seem to come<br />

from over by the North Wall. I think the marshalling yards are there...<br />

I don‘t know, I‘m afraid.<br />

Well, Am<strong>ie</strong>ns Street Station is... Perhaps it was from there... They would<br />

p<strong>ie</strong>rce the night... So mournful and yet so human... Mmm?<br />

Yes, I know what you mean... Airplanes flying over at night used to give me<br />

that feeling... Of how the world extended, I mean.<br />

Yes! Oh yes, that... Did it make you feel limited?. As though for once you<br />

could recognise that the world was larger and older than you?<br />

Yes. And that I could be in one place only at a time... I used to tell myself that<br />

because I was in Dublin I couldn‘t be in Paris or Hong Kong at the same time... It<br />

used to make me sad to realise that other lives in other places went on completely<br />

outside my exper<strong>ie</strong>nce.<br />

That can be sad... Yes... Did you think of death then?.. That the world would<br />

go on and on without regard for you?<br />

Yes. I used to think of all the stars and how far away they were... After daddy<br />

told me how long light takes to reach us from the stars, I would feel myself shrivel up<br />

thinking that the lights I could see had started out so long before I was born... And the<br />

light that was leaving those stars at that instant would not reach the earth until long<br />

after I was dead.<br />

Yes... You don‘t know Charl<strong>ie</strong> Simms, do you? He joined the British Army<br />

112

after school... He‘s a captain or something now... No? Anyway, once when we were<br />

about fifteen... He lived up behind Ranelagh... I told him about the stars and planets.<br />

The speed of light and how long... as you have said... it takes to cross space to earth...<br />

This was about one in the morning... We had been playing records... Well he told me<br />

the next day that he was so terrif<strong>ie</strong>d by what I told him that he couldn‘t sleep...<br />

I bet... It is frightening.<br />

Yes... But afterwards he went round telling people that I was a bit mad.<br />

Mad?<br />

He was serious, Charley... He told me I was mad about seven years ago... He<br />

was home on leave... He said I would drive myself insane with all the studying I do.<br />

You‘re joking.<br />

Actually, I was vulnerable to that then... He did manage to scare me... Where<br />

will I park?<br />

One of the side roads? Rather than go down to the promenade... The tide is<br />

out.<br />

Good... You could say he was projecting his own fear on to me... He must<br />

have thought he was going mad that night... after I had told him about the stars.<br />

Yes... Here?<br />

Okay... He was a nice guy... You know, easy... But he had a weak mind, I<br />

suppose... There.<br />

I‘ll carry Brian for a while, if you like.<br />

Do you want to? It‘ll be eas<strong>ie</strong>r for me... He won‘t be such a strain.<br />

If you get tired tell me... I‘ll carry the rain things.<br />

Yes... Will I put this on first, do you think?<br />

I think so... I‘ll get Brian.<br />

No... I‘ll sling it on one shoulder... Yes... That‘s it... Are his legs free?<br />

Yes... Turn his head.<br />

Ah so... Now... He hasn‘t woken up.<br />

He may have been awake part of last night... I remember... he was wide awake<br />

when I got up to feed him... But very calm.<br />

He looks so contented... The simple satisfactions of infanthood, mmm?<br />

Perhaps I should cover his head.<br />

No... Let the wind at his hair... Let‘s go... There are steps over here.<br />

Oh, the wind.<br />

It will be stronger out on the sand... Will you be warm enough?<br />

I think so... The sun is shining.<br />

You see what I mean about the sky? Isn‘t it huge?<br />

Yes... Even the mountains seem low.<br />

Do you know them? Three Rock... There. Where the radio masts are... Then<br />

Prince William‘s Seat... The Sugar Loaf of course... The Little Sugar Loaf and then<br />

Bray Head...<br />

That one... Yes... What is that?<br />

I think it is called Djouce Mountain... I don‘t know them that well... I used to<br />

cycle along the valleys... Glendoo, Glencullen, Glencree... The Featherbed... If that is<br />

Djouce, then the Waterfall is just below it.<br />

I know the Waterfall... We went once when I was about ten or eleven... It was<br />

very crowded.<br />

I can imagine... But the higher mountains are behind those... You can see<br />

some of the peaks... Have you ever been in there?<br />

Just Sunday drives... They were all much alike to me... I like the lakes.<br />

113

map...<br />

Lough Dan? Lough Tay?<br />

Yes. And Glendalough, of course... It was very crowded too.<br />

We should explore them, you know... We could picnic... We should get a<br />

Yes... We could take Brian then.<br />

Perhaps he would like them too.<br />

Oh Dan, he wouldn‘t know.<br />

But the atmosphere... The mood... He is sensitive to mood... It‘s wet here. The<br />

tide is not long out... Can you walk through it?<br />

Yes... I‘m wearing my walking shoes.<br />

There is a stream of water somewhere here... Yes. At those rocks... We‘ll have<br />

to cross it... Yes... See the little islands of sand. We can use them as stepping <strong>stone</strong>s...<br />

Brian... Be careful, Dan.<br />

I‘ll hold him... Here goes... Hhnn!<br />

Yeoo!<br />

No problem to you?<br />

I was quite athletic at school, you know.<br />

Running and that?<br />

And hockey.<br />

Ugh... As bad as rugby.<br />

Didn‘t you play?<br />

No. I ducked it... I played once... One chap got stood on... an accident no<br />

doubt... But his face was opened from his eye to his chin...<br />

Ugh.<br />

It seemed pretty silly... Especially when it wasn‘t really necessary.<br />

Rugger buggers.<br />

Yes. Life‘s one long scrum.<br />

I always thought it was a kind of homosexuality.<br />

No. Not really... The thing in the showers afterwards is really a kind of ritual...<br />

They look more like little boys... I mean, they are quite determined not to notice one<br />

another‘s nakedness... I suppose it is a kind of communal thing.<br />

Esprit de corps?<br />

Yes... I know it seems chummy only... But I think it is genuine... It only<br />

becomes macho when they begin to compete for the girls... that and drinking...<br />

But it is strange, Dan... Girls are not encouraged to indulge in communal<br />

nakedness in that way... Perhaps that is because girls are supposed to be modest...<br />

Even so, there does seem to be a deliberate policy in schools to bond boys through<br />

communal nakedness... That is why I think there is an element of homosexuality...<br />

Like Sparta?<br />

Yes... I‘ve always thought that the warrior mentality was essentially<br />

homosexual.<br />

Achilles...<br />

Yes... A supreme narcissism... Perhaps it is necessary... I mean, they always<br />

faced the threat of death... It would make them very introverted. Yet the warrior<br />

thing... putting themselves at risk... is a kind of extreme al<strong>ie</strong>nation.<br />

And that is the macho mentality?<br />

Oh very much sentimentalised... I grant that warriors... like all fighters... need<br />

courage. But the macho doesn‘t... It‘s really a style... But women can suffer so much<br />

because of it.<br />

And men?<br />

114

men.<br />

Sure... It‘s not very satisfying.<br />

But nakedness... Women are supposed to be less conscious of one another than<br />

In a way... But a woman with big breasts will show them off... But women are<br />

communally undressed usually in the bedroom... At school we would tear around the<br />

dormitor<strong>ie</strong>s with little or no clothes on... Before a dance... But men would never do<br />

that.<br />

Then it would appear homosexual... The associations of the bedroom?<br />

Yes... Men are extraordinarily there... I mean sexually... In some ways they are<br />

more shy or modest than women.<br />

It probably is the associations of the bedroom... Any nakedness in a bedroom<br />

is arousing.<br />

Even another man?<br />

A warm responsive body is a warm responsive body... In the showers there<br />

isn‘t that association... In the same way a man could look at a film of hundreds of<br />

naked Jewish women running to the ovens of Auschwitz without the slightest flicker<br />

of arousal.<br />

I should say not... Unless he was very warped... Yes... Will we walk right out?<br />

Yes... Unless you are tired.<br />

No... Is Brian becoming heavy?<br />

No... And he is still asleep.<br />

He must have been very tired... Did you find the bottle a nuisance to prepare?<br />

No... I‘d say it would become a routine pretty quickly... I... Ah.<br />

What is it?<br />

A jet trail.<br />

Oh no, Dan... Not today.<br />

Look... It‘s heading north... Very high.<br />

I‘m sure it‘s a commercial flight.<br />

Where is it going, Charley? Not Belfast or Glasgow. It‘s too high... From<br />

Annestown, I used to see the transatlantic flights crossing towards Europe. They were<br />

still hundreds of miles out, yet they were descending already... Sometimes you would<br />

see the vapour trail break off as the aircraft dropped below a certain height... There‘s<br />

nowhere else to the north.<br />

Oslo?<br />

No. They would cross the North Sea... Anyway, where would it be coming<br />

from?<br />

Spain?<br />

Not for Norway or Sweden... And if that jet is flying from Spain to Belfast, it<br />

would be coming down... It‘s not... It‘s going full blast at a great height.<br />

Oh Dan... You should find out for sure.<br />

I will, sweetheart... When Tony gets back he will give me the circumstantial<br />

evidence I need... Look! It‘s turning... See?<br />

Yes.<br />

It‘s turning in over the island... I‘d say over Drogheda or County Louth...<br />

Why? I‘ve never seen that before, Charley... There‘s definitely no airport in that<br />

direction.<br />

Don‘t stand in the wind, Dan. It‘s chilly.<br />

Yes... I want to see what it is going to do next... Thank goodness it is clear... It<br />

must be flying parallel to the Border... If that is so, Charley, it will turn north again...<br />

Wait and see.<br />

115

How can you calculate?<br />

Oh, it‘s rough... But I guess it is flying in British airspace along the Border...<br />

Wait... Now:... It‘s turning north, Charley!... Do you see? I said it would... It‘s flying<br />

parallel to County Donegal now... Hey!... It‘s turning northeast!... Why is that?<br />

Perhaps you are mistaken, Dan.<br />

No! Got it:... The Border runs north and then northeast in Fermanagh... It‘s<br />

following that part of the Border... It‘ll turn north again when it reaches the Donegal<br />

border... Oh no! There‘s cloud... Ah! Look, Charley! It is turning north again... I told<br />

you. I told you... It‘s going behind the cloud... Ah...<br />

Let‘s walk on, Dan... It is chilly in the wind.<br />

Yes... It‘s gone now... I was right, Charley... wasn‘t I?<br />

Yes... But perhaps it‘s not as sinister as you think.<br />

Okay... Allow that it is not... Why does a high-flying four-engined jet follow<br />

the contours of Irish airspace?<br />

It could be patrolling.<br />

But why, Charley? What is it looking for? It is hardly checking on Irish air<br />

movements, is it? There are no Irish military aircraft which would require that kind of<br />

surveillance... No. The Irish airspace boundary is the closest it can come to<br />

something... That means that that something is on the other side of Irish airspace...<br />

You see? That the western boundary of Irish airspace...<br />

And that is why you have asked Tony to check off Connemara?<br />

Yes.<br />

It frightens me, Dan... I mean seeing that jet... You could predict exactly what<br />

it was going to do.<br />

My theory did.<br />

Yes... So that was a military aircraft, Dan.<br />

Yes.<br />

British?<br />

Or American.<br />

Armed?<br />

I don‘t know... Surveillance aircraft usually aren‘t. They carry instruments and<br />

fuel only.<br />

And it was watching a Russian military aircraft on the other side of the island?<br />

Yes... Perhaps jets... There could be more than one.<br />

Okay... Is the Russian jet armed?<br />

I doubt it... for the same reason.<br />

So they can‘t fight one another?<br />

No... That is not the point anyway, Charley.<br />

Why not? Aren‘t you afraid they will turn this country into a battlef<strong>ie</strong>ld?<br />

Not in that way... They are testing one another at the moment...<br />

Why, Dan ?<br />

To see who controls the airspace.<br />

You mean of Ireland?<br />

Yes.<br />

But they are outside it. You said they must stay outside.<br />

I know... That‘s how they‘d control it... Control movements in and out...<br />

How, Dan? I don‘t see it... It‘s very abstract, you know.<br />

Think of the speeds and ranges involved, Charley... A fighter could cross<br />

Ireland in ten or fifteen minutes... A missile would be even faster... Shoot down<br />

anything in a matter of minutes... Do you see that?<br />

116

Yes... You make the island seem very small.<br />

It is... And vulnerable... They could knock out the island just as easily... A<br />

missile from a submarine off the west coast.<br />

Let‘s turn back, Dan.<br />

Do you not want to walk to the edge of the sea?<br />

No. Not now... That jet trail is still there.<br />

Yes... Okay... Oh. Brian is awake... Hello, old son. He‘s groggy... Your milk<br />

really knocks him out.<br />

He doesn‘t know where he is... Brian!<br />

Uff... He kicked... He is awake now... Ah. He‘s holding on for dear life... He‘ll<br />

get used to it... Won‘t you, Brian?<br />

The wind, Dan... Is he too exposed? You should cover his head.<br />

The canvas of the sling will protect him... And the heat of my body... Just<br />

walk, Charley... Ignore the wind... Let‘s go on talking... That will take our minds off<br />

it.<br />

Oh, Dan. It‘s terrible... I never did take you seriously, did I?<br />

Can‘t blame you, Charley... You have to see it for yourself.<br />

But everyone is going to be like that.<br />

Yes. But they can come down here too.<br />

I can‘t imagine that...<br />

Well then, show it on television... They‘ll bel<strong>ie</strong>ve it then.<br />

What would it be like, Dan? If it happened now.<br />

What would what be like?<br />

The bomb.<br />

Oh. You wouldn‘t hear the missile. It would be high up. A mile or so... If it<br />

happened now, there would be a flash of light brighter than the sun. It would blind<br />

us... Then there would be heat and wind... The heat would turn us to dust... Then...<br />

Stop. Please... No... I‘m not afraid... in that way... It would be over quickly...<br />

But so much would be lost, Dan.<br />

How?<br />

I mean all this peace and brightness... the whole balance of it as it is now.<br />

Yes. I see what you mean... The mountains and sky? Just for us at this<br />

moment?<br />

It would be terrible to lose for some silly reason... Or because of some little<br />

calculation or decision thousands of miles away.<br />

Nothing is so desirable as at the moment of losing it?<br />

Oh... Dan, I can picture it so clearly... The flash of light I mean...<br />

Charley!... Oh sweetheart. Don‘t cry...<br />

Oh Dan, I‘m so sad... I can see what death is like... No wonder no one wants to<br />

d<strong>ie</strong>.<br />

Here... Don‘t let it carry you away... You have to learn to live with that<br />

knowledge... You‘re shivering, Charley. Are you cold?<br />

It‘s the wind... Let‘s walk fast... Here‘s your handkerch<strong>ie</strong>f... Thanks... Is Brian<br />

alright?<br />

Yes... I‘ll put my hand over his head... It‘s not far now... We‘re almost at the<br />

stream. It should be lower now.<br />

I‘m sorry, Dan. I did get carr<strong>ie</strong>d away.<br />

Nonsense, Charley... It shows that you have a soul... Let me kiss you.<br />

Mmm... Thanks... That‘s better... Look. Is it going to rain?<br />

Yes... But not for a while yet... It‘ll be a heavy shower.<br />

117

That‘s the cloud the jet went behind?<br />

Yes.<br />

It‘s very broody... How it darkens the city.<br />

Yes... The changes in atmosphere can be quite dramatic... I remember once I<br />

was out here and a thunderstorm built up... It was awesome. Piles upon piles of<br />

gunmetal grey clouds built up over the city and mountains. There were streaks of<br />

silver light along some of the clouds... you know, where the sun shone... and<br />

underneath it went from blue to violet and then to black. The air became so charged<br />

that you could feel it in your hair and skin... It built up and up. I started to hurry...<br />

much as we are doing... But before I got off the beach the rain came. It came down in<br />

torrents. There was one almighty shaft of lightning across the sky over the city. When<br />

the thunder came I was suddenly terrif<strong>ie</strong>d... It was totally irrational... But I felt I was<br />

totally surrounded by lightning and thunder... Goodness, I ran and ran, all the time<br />

expecting to be hit by a bolt... Ha. I didn‘t stop to shelter. I ran all the way home, up<br />

through Sandymount and Ballsbridge... Mother was furious because I was so wet...<br />

Ah, here‘s the stream... It has dropped... It‘ll be much eas<strong>ie</strong>r crossing this time...<br />

Be careful with Brian, Dan.<br />

I will... One. Two... Wheee!... Hang on, old son!... Uh... Uh... Now you.<br />

Yeoo!<br />

Whump!... One leap...<br />

Long legs.<br />

Useful.<br />

Yes... Not just pretty things.<br />

Indeed... Not far now.<br />

Here‘s the rain... Take the umbrella, Dan... It‘ll give Brian better shelter... I‘ll<br />

put your slick on...<br />

Okay... Brian is certainly being introduced to the world today.<br />

Lucky he won‘t remember... This would give him a very low opinion of it.<br />

Hah... Come under the brolly, Charley...<br />

Put your arm around me. Ah. Yes. Hello, Brian... He doesn‘t know me.<br />

It‘s the slick... Hey, you‘re still shivering... Are you cold?<br />

It‘s the wind... Perhaps what we were talking about as well.<br />

Oh, I‘m sorry I was so graphic.<br />

No... At least you have made me aware of what you feared... I can share it...<br />

But it has left me feeling very empty.<br />

You‘ll come to terms with it. Wait and see... I suppose it‘s like coming to<br />

terms with death.<br />

No... Let‘s change the subject, Dan... We‘re talking too much about death...<br />

The mountains... Will we go down there tomorrow or Monday?<br />

That‘s an idea.<br />

We could make up a picnic... Flasks of tea.<br />

Yes... We‘ll have the car if there are showers... We should have done this long<br />

ago.<br />

It‘s probably because of Brian.<br />

Brian?<br />

Yes... He‘s making us more aware of the world around us... Mother said that<br />

once.<br />

I remember.<br />

We are turning into a family.<br />

Mmm...<br />

118

Don‘t you agree?<br />

I haven‘t thought of it before... Perhaps... It could explain things.<br />

What things?<br />

Well, family-hood, as it were, as a mental exper<strong>ie</strong>nce... You know, a change of<br />

perspective... Not just an economic or social exper<strong>ie</strong>nce... I mean if a change of<br />

attitude to the world really took place spontaneously... I wonder if Frege ever<br />

marr<strong>ie</strong>d?<br />

Why?<br />

If I were to suggest that the birth of culture took place in the exper<strong>ie</strong>nce of<br />

family-hood, how could I prove it?.. I mean I would have to show that such a mental<br />

transformation does occur... Then I would have to show the contents of such a<br />

transformation... If they were cultural... I mean ideas about abstractions such as the<br />

world... and soc<strong>ie</strong>ty, of course... and a new awareness of values...<br />

Go on.<br />

The way to do that would be to test it against the lives and thought of<br />

philosophers... For instance, Frege... Yes... The radical change in Marx‘s thought... I<br />

mean did it occur around the time of the birth of his first child... And other thinkers of<br />

course... I must make a note of this, Charley... Wait... Charley...<br />

Yes?<br />

You ought to do it, sweetheart.<br />

Me?<br />

Yes... Do it as a doctorate...<br />

Dan!<br />

No... There would be no trouble getting a supervisor for it... In philosophy or<br />

politics... You did MacBr<strong>ie</strong>n‘s courses?<br />

One of them. The history one.<br />

Good... I‘m serious, Charley.<br />

I know you are, Dan.<br />

Would you do it?<br />

I don‘t know... I might not have the time.<br />

Oh you should have... I mean it is your own idea... You ought to follow it up...<br />

It mixes so many disciplines... If it were to be proven... it would have such an effect.<br />

Dan, stop building it up!<br />

Okay... Can you remember what you said?<br />

Something like, that becoming a family turns one‘s attention to the world.<br />

Yes. Make a note of it when we get back... And think about it. Make notes...<br />

No... You don‘t have to do the research immediately. But keep notes on it.<br />

Very well... But what about Brian?<br />

He‘ll be alright... Don‘t worry... Ah... The road... Luckily the rain isn‘t too<br />

heavy...<br />

The shower hasn‘t really started yet... Look at that cloud.<br />

Yes... Well, it‘s just across the road... Let‘s run... Now...<br />

Brian!... Hold... him...<br />

Uhh!... I did... Keys... Get in... I‘ll give Brian down to you...<br />

Okay... You get in now...<br />

There... Ah... Should we put him in the back... He doesn‘t know where he is...<br />

Look... It‘s alright, old son. Mommy and daddy are here... What more does he need?<br />

It‘s awkward, Dan...<br />

I‘ll do it... Pull the cot over... Yes... There!<br />

He‘s surprisingly passive...<br />

119

you?<br />

He probably knows what‘s afoot... Here‘s the rain.<br />

I‘m glad we missed it... The wind.<br />

Well, let‘s go... You will think seriously about the research, Charley, won‘t<br />

Why are you so insistent? Most men would be more concerned to keep their<br />

wives at home. To look after their children.<br />

Brian doesn‘t need that much looking after... Anyway, that‘s no reason for<br />

letting your mind vegetate.<br />

But if we have more children.<br />

There are women studying at College who have two and more children... They<br />

fit it in... One of them is planning to do research now... Aren‘t you interested in the<br />

thing itself? Studying or learning?<br />

I haven‘t thought about it... Dan, as an undergraduate I always felt so... off<br />

balance... You know, vulnerable.<br />

We all did. That‘s the learning process. It opens your mind.<br />

Is it always like that? Afterwards, I mean. Doing research.<br />

Yes. Except that in a way it is better and worse. It‘s better insofar as there is<br />

no one who can act as though he knows what you don‘t. It‘s worse because the<br />

openness is so great that everything becomes uncertain.<br />

That doesn‘t sound very pleasant, Dan.<br />

I suppose not... But when they give you the p<strong>ie</strong>ce of paper... Well, it‘s<br />

remarkable... Everything snaps into place... I don‘t mean you know everything...<br />

though some do act like that... But you find you have a stable perspective ... A kind of<br />

confidence.<br />

Yes. I felt that when I received the bee aye... But I never bel<strong>ie</strong>ved it... It was<br />

only a social thing.<br />

That‘s true. It is the public acknowledgement of your ach<strong>ie</strong>vement.<br />

But it has nothing to do with the private ach<strong>ie</strong>vement... with what you have<br />

actually learned... I felt so confused at that time. I didn‘t know what I knew.<br />

Perhaps... But it is like marriage. What makes a marriage is the public<br />

declaration... It is a social ritual. But it does have a real effect... Isn‘t that true?<br />

Of marriage? Yes. That did make a difference. Everything we did afterwards<br />

was different... I noticed that the first time we made love after our wedding.<br />

Well, conferring a degree is a public ritual in much the same way... Your<br />

knowledge changes in some way.<br />

But that is only because people bel<strong>ie</strong>ve you must know something because you<br />

have received the degree... It is the degree that counts, not the knowledge.<br />

Of course... Knowledge is social. So it must be socially authorised... But think<br />

of it in another way. That kind of social authorisation also establishes a<br />

responsibility... The temptation to play on the credulity of people is very great. But if<br />

you l<strong>ie</strong> to them, you also l<strong>ie</strong> to yourself. Not the first time, perhaps. But you have to<br />

maintain the l<strong>ie</strong>. In the end you become so preoccup<strong>ie</strong>d with maintaining the l<strong>ie</strong> that<br />

you don‘t have the time to remember what the truth is.<br />

But you‘ve scorned the... what you call the con-jobs of...<br />

That‘s on a large scale... The whole of social knowledge could be one big...<br />

not l<strong>ie</strong> as such... but certainly an illusion... But individuals try to maintain some kind<br />

of integrity within that illusion.<br />

But surely they would become aware of the illusion?<br />

Yes and no. There would have to be a boundary between the illusion and<br />

something like truth. But if there is no boundary, then illusion is total.<br />

120

How could you tell it was an illusion then?<br />

You can‘t. Not as knowledge... But you could tell in terms of your own<br />

individual exper<strong>ie</strong>nce... If you wanted to.<br />

I don‘t see that at all, Dan. If there is a total illusion, that illusion must have<br />

integrity... You have said that in a way, haven‘t you?<br />

Yes.<br />

Then it should hold even against individual scrutiny... For if all knowledge is<br />

social, then there is no private knowledge... Unless you mean that individual<br />

exper<strong>ie</strong>nce is a different kind of knowledge. Do you mean that?<br />

Yes. I think individual exper<strong>ie</strong>nce is different. But it can only be expressed in<br />

public terms... That is language... If you try to make language express private<br />

exper<strong>ie</strong>nce as private truth as opposed to public truth, you could well be judged<br />

idiosyncratic... or worse.<br />

You mean mad?<br />

Yes. I do... The usual way around that is to express your exper<strong>ie</strong>nce in terms<br />

of theor<strong>ie</strong>s which are not dominant theor<strong>ie</strong>s... For instance, a lot of private religious<br />

exper<strong>ie</strong>nce is now expressed in terms of or<strong>ie</strong>ntal religious ideas or pre-christian<br />

mystery terms.<br />

What happens then?<br />

Your private exper<strong>ie</strong>nce becomes public truth in any case, though not the<br />

conventional public truth...<br />

Is there private exper<strong>ie</strong>nce, Dan? I mean, if it can‘t be expressed as such, how<br />

can you say there is such a thing?<br />

You know, Charley. You have your own exper<strong>ie</strong>nces. And you can choose<br />

whether to express them or not. If you choose not to, then they remain private... Here<br />

we are... Will you take Brian in? I‘ll take the other things and lock the car.<br />

Use the umbrella.<br />

Yes... Up you come, old son... No. I‘ll lock it after you... Uh ... Ah...<br />

I can‘t find my key.<br />

Okay. I have mine... There... In you go.<br />

Oh, it‘s so miserable.<br />

Yes... I think we should light a fire.<br />

In early August?<br />

That‘s our summer.<br />

Oh.<br />

What ?<br />

We didn‘t eat the apples... The door.<br />

I‘ll go...<br />

I‘ll take this off...<br />

Yes?<br />

Mister White?<br />

Yes.<br />

Your wife is the daughter of Missis Alice Jameson, isn‘t she?<br />

Yes. That‘s right.<br />

Is she in? We would like to speak to her.<br />

Who are you?<br />

We‘re Guards. Detective Branch. Here. Identification.<br />

Come in... I‘ll call my wife... Is it serious?<br />

Yes, Mister White... There‘s been a serious accident.<br />

And?<br />

121

Missis Jameson is dead... And her companion.<br />

Hhh... It might be better if you waited in here... Sit down if you like.<br />

No... It‘s all right.<br />

I‘ll get my wife. Excuse me... Charlotte.<br />

Yes, Dan? What about Brian?<br />

We‘d better put him in the carry-cot... It‘ll be only for a few minutes.<br />

Kiss me, Dan... Put your arms around me.<br />

You know?<br />

I think so... Oh... Dan.<br />

Let‘s get it over with.<br />

Yes...<br />

This is my wife... These are police officers, Charlotte.<br />

Missis White...<br />

Do you want to sit down?<br />

No, Dan... It‘s alright.<br />

It‘s about your mother, Missis White... Missis Alice Jameson?<br />

That‘s right.<br />

There has been a serious traffic accident... Both your mother and the driver of<br />

the car were killed... I‘m sorry.<br />

Yes.<br />

Charlotte.<br />

When did it happen?<br />

At about eleven o‘clock this morning... We called earl<strong>ie</strong>r, but you were out.<br />

That‘s right... Do you know how it happened?<br />

We haven‘t the full details yet... It seems the car your mother was in ran off<br />

the road...<br />

Where?<br />

Outside Manorhamilton, Mister White.<br />

Where‘s that?<br />

In County Leitrim... On the Enniskillen to Sligo road.<br />

How is...<br />

Which direction were they travelling in?<br />

Towards Sligo... They crossed the Border at Blacklion at ten thirty.<br />

They were in the North? Are you sure?<br />

Yes... The orr you cee logged their crossing... You are surprised, Mister<br />

White?<br />

Oh... Mister Spencer had a business meeting this morning...<br />

In Northern Ireland, Missis White?<br />

I‘m not sure... Mother... mother said it was a last-minute arrangement...<br />

They must have been on their way to Galway...<br />

Yes?..<br />

They were going to spend the holiday there, Sergeant.<br />

You don‘t know where they were in Northern Ireland then?<br />

No... Charlotte?<br />

No. I‘m afraid not... Mother didn‘t seem to know where she was going... As I<br />

said, it was a last-minute arrangement.<br />

What... No... Well. Missis White, I‘m sorry it‘s such bad news... You have my<br />

condolences...<br />

Thank you.<br />

Thank you, Sergeant... I‘ll see you out.<br />

122

I‘ll make some tea, Dan.<br />

Yes do... Sergeant, if we should need to contact you...<br />

I‘ll give you a number... My name is Sheehy... It‘s the Special Traffic<br />

Section... For incidents of this sort... There... Mister White, what do you know of<br />

Mister Spencer‘s business?<br />

Little or nothing... Some kind of management consultancy... He travelled a<br />

lot... Thanks.<br />

Yes... About the remains... They can be collected on Monday or Tuesday...<br />

Tuesday might be better, though... The holiday.<br />

Where is she now, Sergeant?<br />

In Sligo... The necessary examination will be done there... Did you want to<br />

make any special arrangements?<br />

No. I don‘t think so... Hhh...<br />

Missis White... Your wife...<br />

Yes... I had better go...<br />

We may call again, Mister White... In a few days...<br />

Okay.<br />

Again, my condolences.<br />

Goodbye, Sergeant... Goodbye.<br />

Goodbye, Mister White.<br />

Goodbye.<br />

Charlotte?<br />

The kettle... Luckily it was empty.<br />

I‘ll get it... We‘ll have tea... Are you hungry?<br />

No... Dan...<br />

Yes, sweetheart... Here...<br />

Oh... Oh, Dan, it‘s so stupid!<br />

It is... very stupid.<br />

Just like that... No... Make tea... I‘ll...<br />

You are cold... I‘ll light a fire.<br />

In a moment... Let‘s have some tea first... Brian is so calm... He‘s looking at<br />

us.<br />

He probably senses something.<br />

Poor Brian... Now he has no grandparents at all... Such a shame.<br />

He has us... Charlotte.<br />

Call me Lotty, Dan... I can‘t bear the other name anymore... Mother never<br />

liked it. She thought it was too forward.<br />

Lotty... Should we feed Brian?<br />

What time is it?<br />

Just after five.<br />

Six hours... Why did it take so long to tell us? I feel such a fool, Dan. Walking<br />

on that beach while...<br />

Bureaucracy... By the time it got through their various channels... You know.<br />

Why did he ask so many silly questions, Dan? What business is it of his where<br />

my mother had been or where she was going?<br />

Perhaps they need it for their reports.<br />

I don‘t bel<strong>ie</strong>ve that... Do you?<br />

No.<br />

Bloody curiosity... Your mother and her companion... How bloody prim!<br />

Hey, Lotty... Don‘t transfer it on to them... They were just doing their job.<br />

123

Why did they want to know there they had spent Friday night?<br />

I don‘t know... Here. Have this tea, Lotty... Drink it while it‘s hot.<br />

And we were talking about education and all that other nonsense, Dan... How<br />

could we be so stupid?<br />

We didn‘t know, Lotty... We weren‘t to know.<br />

We did!... We bloody well did, Dan!<br />

Drink your tea, Lotty.<br />

But we did, Dan... As soon as I heard the doorbell everything went click inside<br />

me.<br />

Stop it, Lotty... Stop trying to make yourself responsible.<br />

Last night on the phone, Dan, mother kept saying that she hoped there would<br />

be no snag... I should have realised... I should have told her not to go with him. Let<br />

Tom come back to Dublin for her today... It was his business... Why should my<br />

mother get killed for it?<br />

Lotty! Stop it... Stop trying to blame someone.<br />

Someone must be to blame... I bet Tom was driving too fast... He wanted to<br />

impress everyone... even the peasants... with his white Rover.<br />

Lotty, stop it... I won‘t listen to such nonsense... They are both dead... Will<br />

you try to accept that fact... At least try to be pat<strong>ie</strong>nt, Lotty.<br />

But it is so stupid, Dan... I can‘t be pat<strong>ie</strong>nt with that... Look, the way those<br />

men came and went. Just like that.<br />

What else could they do? It is an unpleasant task. They did it as well as they<br />

could.<br />

Oh, it‘s all very well for you to be so reasonable. It‘s not your mother. You...<br />

Oh!<br />

It‘s alright, Lotty.<br />

Dan, I‘m so sorry... How you must have felt when they told you... I mean,<br />

your mother and your father... What did you do?<br />

I told you once... But that‘s in the past.<br />

Did you? But I am sorry... You are right, you know. I am trying to blame<br />

someone... Thanks for the tea. It will buck me up, I know it... I‘ll go up and change<br />

into something warmer... Will you keep Brian company? He‘ll feel lost too.<br />

Don‘t be long, Lotty... I‘ll light a fire.<br />

Do... It is so miserable.<br />

Hello, old son... Come to your daddy... How are you?..<br />

Are you sad? Poor lad...<br />

How do you feel?<br />

Better... Oh you lit the fire... Good.<br />

Come and sit down.<br />

Yes... Should I feed Brian, do you think? I don‘t want to affect him more than<br />

is necessary.<br />

I could fix a bottle... I don‘t think he‘d mind too much.<br />

Yes. That might be better... Dan, before you do that, would you do something<br />

for me? I mean without asking questions or making any comment.<br />

What is it? Of course I will.<br />

Do you remember how you opened the Bible last week? Would you do it<br />

again now?<br />

124

What do you want to ask about?<br />

No questions. Please.<br />

Okay... Sure I‘ll do it... Hold Brian, will you.<br />

Yes... Just open it and pick out a verse. The way you did it the last time.<br />

Yes... I‘ll get it... Now... Mmm.<br />

What is it?<br />

Ecclesiastes...<br />

Read it.<br />

Okay... Give a portion to seven, and also to eight, for thou knowest not what<br />

evil shall be upon earth... That‘s the one I put my finger on.<br />

Obscure... What does it mean?<br />

In what sense? I‘ll read the verses around it.<br />

Yes. Do.<br />

Cast thy bread upon the waters, for thou shalt find it after many days. Give a<br />

portion to seven, or even to eight, for thou knowest not what evil shall be upon the<br />

earth. If the clouds be full of rain, they empty themselves upon the earth, and if the<br />

tree fall to the south, or towards the north, in the place where the tree falleth, there it<br />

will l<strong>ie</strong>. He that observeth the wind shall not sow, and he that regardeth the clouds<br />

shall not reap. As thou knowest not what is the way of the Spirit, nor how the bones<br />

do grow in the womb of she that is with child, even so thou knowest not the works of<br />

God who maketh all... They seem to make a kind of unit.<br />

Yes. Things follow their course... as ordained?<br />

Mmm... But men... human beings should be charitable, because they don‘t<br />

know when they will need the help of others.<br />

Yes... Thank you, Dan... Can I take the Bible?<br />

Yes. Of course... There it is...<br />

It gives me something to think about, you see... I‘ll go upstairs... I‘ll come<br />

down when I‘m ready... Will you look after Brian?<br />

Yes... But, Lotty, it‘s warmer down here.<br />

No... I‘ll be alright, Dan. I promise you that... Can Brian sleep here, do you<br />

think? If he wants to I mean.<br />

I think so.<br />

Thank you, darling... You are so considerate...<br />

SUNDAY<br />

You‘re awake?<br />

Yes.<br />

What time is it? I must feed Brian.<br />

Half two... You were asleep when I came up.<br />

Yes... I fell asleep immediately... I didn‘t expect to... You know.<br />

I‘m glad you did.<br />

Dan... Tell me... Is mother dead?<br />

125

Yes... Why?<br />

No. I know she is dead... But I find that despite that... fact, I keep wondering if<br />

she is enjoying her holiday... Then I look forward to hearing about it on Tuesday.<br />

I can imagine... It will take a while for the truth to sink in.<br />

Yes... Then when I remind myself that mother is dead, I go blank inside... I<br />

feel something absolutely terrible has happened. But I‘m not sure what it is.<br />

It takes time, Lotty.<br />

No. It‘s not that... I mean that something terrible has happened to me.<br />

Oh.<br />

Tell me, Dan... What was your first... immediate... response when you were<br />

told your parents were dead?<br />

You mean, just like that?<br />

Yes. Just like that.<br />

Rel<strong>ie</strong>f... I felt as though a great burden had been lifted from me.<br />

Ah... I thought so.<br />

You?<br />

When daddy d<strong>ie</strong>d... I think that was different... He was dying for a month... I<br />

think I had time to adjust... You know. I transferred all that feeling on to mother.<br />

You told me that once.<br />

I think it was that that led people at College to call me frigid.<br />

You knew that? You‘ve never told me that before.<br />

Oh yes... Anne Purley told me... Perhaps out of spite... And you knew it too?<br />

Yes... It piqued them.<br />

It was Dermot O‘Connoll who started it... I went out with him.<br />

I know.<br />

Did you?<br />

It seemed obvious... I had always thought you should have been part of that<br />

group... But you weren‘t extraverted in that way.<br />

Yes... Yes. There‘s something in that... I had been fr<strong>ie</strong>nds with Anne at<br />

school...<br />

And she wanted Dermot?<br />

Yes... It seems so obvious now, doesn‘t it?<br />

She‘s a social climber. He was an obvious target.<br />

She threw herself at him... You weren‘t at Keith Jackson‘s twenty-first?<br />

No... I was in London, doing research.<br />

She was quite drunk... He goaded her into taking all her clothes off... She<br />

danced like a maniac.<br />

I heard about that... Everyone undressed too?<br />

Not really... Just that crowd... It was quite primitive... They goaded one<br />

another. It was a madness... But I saw... so clearly, Dan... that they did it because they<br />

were terrif<strong>ie</strong>d of one another... You know, so many barr<strong>ie</strong>rs.<br />

Yes... But it was orgiastic.<br />

Did you ever do that?<br />

Not really.<br />

But when Mar<strong>ie</strong> Cusack... Peter Rogers‘ girlfr<strong>ie</strong>nd... went to your drinking<br />

part<strong>ie</strong>s... There were rumours... She fanc<strong>ie</strong>d you.<br />

She played up to all of us... But she did create tension... We used to get it off<br />

playing Ludo.<br />

Ludo? I‘d heard about that... That was so childish.<br />

Perhaps... But it helped vent a lot of tension and anx<strong>ie</strong>ty.<br />

126

So there were no org<strong>ie</strong>s?<br />

No... It was harmless... Very noisy... But I suppose there were barr<strong>ie</strong>rs there<br />

too... Anyway, she was with Peter.<br />

Not for long.<br />

No.<br />

You went out with her then?<br />

Her idea of intimacy was to tell you about her neuroses... Snakes... of course.<br />

Yes. I know... She told me once... It was morbid... Her father.<br />

Yes... But it also served to deflect the attentions of men... She managed to<br />

make them guilty rather than aroused.<br />

Guilt?<br />

Yes.<br />

Do many women do that?<br />

I don‘t know... Anne Macartney suffered from vertigo at the most<br />

inconven<strong>ie</strong>nt moments.<br />

Anne... Yes. You liked her a lot, didn‘t you?<br />

Pity, Lotty... The other side of guilt.<br />

I just went rigid.<br />

And mental?<br />

Yes... I‘d talk non-stop... Men aren‘t what they seem to be.<br />

How?<br />

It‘s hard for a woman to bel<strong>ie</strong>ve that a man... I mean a particular man at a<br />

particular time... is alive... I mean, that he is actually there.<br />

Your father?<br />

Yes... That‘s it. I‘m sorry it‘s so roundabout... He wasn‘t real enough to be<br />

missed deeply.<br />

Do you mean that, Lotty?<br />

That‘s the guilt, Dan... I mean, he made me feel guilty.<br />

For not missing him so much?<br />

Oh no... For not bel<strong>ie</strong>ving he was real... Men try so hard to make women<br />

bel<strong>ie</strong>ve that they are real.<br />

And they are not?<br />

For themselves, perhaps... But they are only symbols for women, Dan.<br />

Of what?<br />

Male power... What psychologists call phallic power.<br />

Go on.<br />

The penis is quite distinct, Dan... Oh... Perhaps I shouldn‘t be saying this to<br />

you..<br />

You. mean it shouldn‘t be revealed? As you said of Maire the other night?<br />

In a way... But you are... well... my husband.<br />

Indeed... But go on... It‘s interesting.<br />

Ah, Dan... That‘s you alright...<br />

I am interested.<br />

That‘s what I mean... I will tell you... I feel I should because... Men are all the<br />

same... Do you see that?<br />

They are interchangeable?<br />

Exactly... That‘s the frightening thing in a masculine soc<strong>ie</strong>ty... I could have<br />

accepted any of the men who showed an interest in me.<br />

And?<br />

You mean why did I accept you?<br />

127

Not quite... I think I know... No. What was so frightening about your freedom<br />

of choice?<br />

That there was no freedom, of course.<br />

No?<br />

I was being offered phallic power in one symbolic form or another.<br />

Ah... Yes... You discerned that?<br />

All women do, in one way or another.<br />

So you chose the man who did not offer phallic power?<br />

Yes... Yes... Is it so obvious?<br />

Now it is... And another way of saying it is that I wasn‘t just a symbol?<br />

Yes...<br />

What does that mean?<br />

That you didn‘t try to be real.<br />

That I wasn‘t real, you mean.<br />

Yes... Does that upset you?<br />

No... But I want to think about it.<br />

I‘ll feed Brian... It‘s after three.<br />

Yes... Do.<br />

He‘s awake, Dan... His hands... As though he were reaching for something.<br />

Lotty...<br />

Yes?<br />

There‘s a distinction between the father and the son, isn‘t there?<br />

Yes.<br />

I‘m a son.<br />

Yes.<br />

Maire said as much the other night.<br />

She can‘t help but see you as a son... You drool over her breasts.<br />

Is it that obvious?<br />

Yes... Once I heard about it...<br />

And there are mothers and daughters?<br />

Yes.<br />

And you are a daughter?<br />

I was.<br />

Yes... And now you are a mother? That‘s what you felt when you were told<br />

your mother was dead?<br />

Yes... But you marr<strong>ie</strong>d a daughter.<br />

That‘s true... So I become a father now?<br />

Perhaps not.<br />

No?<br />

I don‘t think so... You can‘t. I don‘t think you can.<br />

Then perhaps you can‘t either... Lotty? Can you hear me?<br />

Yes. I heard you.<br />

Lotty? Lotty! You‘re crying... Lotty! Answer me... You are!... Oh sweetheart.<br />

It‘s alright, Dan... It would come sooner or later... Brian?<br />

It‘s not distracting him.<br />

Milk and tears, Lotty... It‘s archetypal.<br />

It‘s not for Brian.<br />

Who is for then? Not me... For yourself?<br />

No... It‘s not for anyone.<br />

I‘ll dry your eyes... At least... It moves me profoundly.<br />

128

Your curiosity is endless, Dan.<br />

Perhaps that‘s man‘s reality for himself.<br />

It‘s yours, anyway... And... Oh, oh, oh...<br />

Let it go, sweetheart... Let it all run out.<br />

Oh no... Take Brian, Dan... Oh. Oh. Oh...<br />

Yes... Hey... Hold on, old son... There now, there now... It‘s nothing...<br />

Mommy is upset... He‘s crying now... There now, Brian... Oh...<br />

Give him to me... Oh. Oh... .<br />

My God... The P<strong>ie</strong>ta... I‘ll make some tea...<br />

It is clear at once that the problem of difference raises the problem of<br />

relation. Now, on one hand, difference could l<strong>ie</strong> in a plurality of something of<br />

one kind or nature. Here the kind of relation could be posited as unique, such<br />

that the relation A only will hold between any X‘s. On the other hand,<br />

difference could l<strong>ie</strong> in there being a number of completely different things.<br />

Here difference is not of particular importance until the question of the<br />

relation(s) between these different things arises. Thus the difference of<br />

different things only comes to notice when any of them are related. That<br />

means that in this case the question of relation is primary.<br />

But the question of relation seems to turn on the specificity of the<br />

relation. That is, there could be one relation or many relations between<br />

different things. That is, the relation B could hold between different things<br />

Yl,2,3... N, for instance that they were all yellow: lemons, daffodils, and<br />

yellow dresses. Again, relations Cl,2,3, etc could be instanced as holding<br />

between two different things, or three, or N number of things.<br />

This being the case, it can be seen that the problem of relation is<br />

simply the problem of difference in another guise. But, at the same time, the<br />

problem of difference is not the only aspect of the problem of relations, that is,<br />

relations are not merely difference as such, for the fact of relation is also<br />

indicative of correspondence, that relations can obtain between two different<br />

things. As such any given relation impl<strong>ie</strong>s sameness of some kind in the things<br />

related.<br />

But isn‘t this also true in the matter of difference? To say that things<br />

are different is also to say that there are comparable entit<strong>ie</strong>s, that is, things, of<br />

which it can be said that they are different.<br />

Therefore:<br />

(i) Difference can be apprehended only in relations.<br />

(ii) Relation impl<strong>ie</strong>s a stratum of sameness.<br />

(iii) Difference cannot be noted unless there is an element of sameness.<br />

(iv) Absolute difference would have to be singular.<br />

(v) ‗Singular‘ difference is sameness, that is, unity.<br />

(vi) No difference without sameness.<br />

(vii) Can there be sameness without difference?<br />

The answer to (vii) is yes. Such an entity would be one, whole, without<br />

relation.<br />

Such an entity is the ‗Reason‘ posited by Frege.<br />

But F says that Reason can contain ‗thoughts‘.<br />

129

This means that Reason is not an entity of sameness, but is instead an<br />

entity holding relations and therefore mixing difference and sameness.<br />

Once again, what kind of plurality of thought is contained in Reason?<br />

It could be a plurality of one kind or nature. This is the case from one<br />

perspective, for what Reason contains is a plurality of ‗thought‘. But what<br />

kind of relation could hold between this plurality? The common features of<br />

‗thoughts‘, definitionally, truth, objectivity and presence, are not relational<br />

terms either between ‗thoughts‘ or between ‗thoughts‘ and Reason. The only<br />

relation which can be deduced from F‘s account is that the ‗thoughts‘ are<br />

contained by Reason. However, ‗Reason‘ is given no quality or attribute by<br />

means of which it could hold relations with ‗thoughts‘, or permit or facilitate<br />

relations between ‗thoughts‘. In F‘s account, Reason has no relations<br />

whatsoever.<br />

Therefore, if ‗thoughts‘ do not hold a unique relation between one<br />

another within Reason, it follows that, to the extent that ‗thoughts‘ are<br />

different, then the relation(s) they hold must be sited between the ‗thoughts‘<br />

alone, That is, the relations between ‗thoughts‘ must be unknown to Reason<br />

and must l<strong>ie</strong> outside Reason.<br />

But if this is the case, then such relation(s) are not true or objective.<br />

They have no presence nor are they thoughts in themselves. But could they be<br />

thoughts of the form ‗x is the relation between thought A and thought B‘? No.<br />

If they were thoughts, they could not be relations, for (a) all thoughts are in<br />

Reason and (b) there are no relations within Reason. In that case, could they<br />

be thoughts referring to relations? No. For thoughts make no reference, they<br />

are merely present in themselves to Reason, that is, they are in themselves true<br />

and objective and thus complete.<br />

It seems then that while it can be inferred that a plurality of thought<br />

indicates that there are different thoughts, for there is no other way of<br />

accounting for the plurality, this difference is unknown to Reason. Thus<br />

Reason is a unity containing a plurality of thought. Reason contains this<br />

plurality in the mode of sameness. But this sameness is not the common nature<br />

of thought, that is, presence, truth and objectivity, for thoughts must also differ<br />

from one another. The sameness of Reason and its plurality of thought can<br />

only be said to l<strong>ie</strong> in the uniqueness of such an entity, as deduced in the<br />

previous section, that is, that the possibility of thought(s) necessarily impl<strong>ie</strong>s<br />

the possibility of Reason, and vice versa.<br />

To the extent that elements of the ‗structure‘ of this entity seem<br />

logically impossible, most notably the co-presence of a plurality of thought in<br />

Reason, it must be assumed that Frege‘s account of Reason is not a logical<br />

one, that is, it is not based on deductions from certain premises concerning a<br />

substantive.<br />

Even so, the analysis in this part (I) shows that within Reason thought<br />

is immediate, the co-presence of a plurality of thought notwithstanding. That<br />

very little can be said of this immediacy, other than that it l<strong>ie</strong>s in the nature of<br />

thought, as being true and objective, does not take from this conclusion. For<br />

the nature of thought, as defined by Frege, is suffic<strong>ie</strong>nt to account for the<br />

immediacy of thought, though not, perhaps, for a satisfying understanding of<br />

thought or of its immediate presence.<br />

(II) However, it is also possible, as indicated earl<strong>ie</strong>r, to approach the subject<br />

130

from another perspective, that of the characteristics of thought, as distinct<br />

from Reason itself, which was the subject of part (I).<br />

Two statements by Frege can define the boundar<strong>ie</strong>s of an analysis of<br />

thought.<br />

(i) ‗Neither logic or mathematics has the task of investigating souls and the<br />

content of consciousness whose bearer is an individual human being. Rather,<br />

one might set down as their task the investigation of the Mind, not of minds.‘<br />

(ii) ‗Even grasping a thought is not creating a thought, nor is it the establishing<br />

of an order among its parts.‘<br />

In the first place it might be argued that the analysis to be undertaken<br />

here in part (II) should have been undertaken first, because it seems that a<br />

logical investigation of Reason is possible. Thus the long and somewhat<br />

inconclusive (or tautological) argument of part (I) might have been avoided.<br />

But there are two reasons why this was not possible. (a) Frege gives his<br />

account of Reason before he sets out to investigate ‗Mind‘ in a logical manner.<br />

(b) It will be noticed that the distinction that F draws between what is and<br />

what is not the subject matter of his logical investigation is precisely that<br />

which he had drawn in order to indicate the ‗origin‘ of thought itself. Thus, the<br />

very basis of his logical investigation is predicated on his account of Reason.<br />

These points are incidental to the reason for presenting statement (i),<br />

which is to show that F‘s logical investigation is not a ‗psychological‘ one,<br />

that it is not based on individual minds. On one hand, F is distinguishing his<br />

investigation from those undertaken by psychologists, but also by<br />

phenomenologists, for whom the data of mental exper<strong>ie</strong>nce form the subject<br />

matter of their investigations. On the other hand, F also indicates a crucial<br />

feature of his account of Reason, which had not arisen before, that it is not a<br />

phenomenon instanced in individuals. Here F emphasises something inferable<br />

from his account of Reason, though never made explicit, that Reason is not<br />

actual, that is, it does not exist wholly or partially in individuals, but that it is<br />

objective, that is, pace the analysis in part (I), an entity which is categorically<br />

self-descriptive, in that the terms which serve to describe it, can describe it and<br />

nothing else. Thus, there is no presence, truth, objectivity, thought without<br />

Reason. The absolute character of Reason is then indicated by the fact that the<br />

terms which describe it, including the term ‗Reason‘, are metaphors for one<br />

another, none of which, moreover, can be isolated as prior or fundamental.<br />

You are awake.<br />

It‘s still raining. I can hear it in the trees. Non-stop...<br />

What time is it?<br />

Around four... Brian? Will I feed him?<br />

No. I fed him...<br />

You‘ve slept a lot. That‘s good.<br />

More a waking dream, Dan... What does throwing bread on water mean?<br />

Mmm. I‘m not sure... Perhaps some kind of sacrifice... for good luck.<br />

It‘s a haunting idea... Water is a kind of chaos, don‘t you think?<br />

You mean finding one‘s way through chaos?<br />

Or being guided... By surrendering to fates. Something like that.<br />

But the verse I got was the one about giving charity as protection against bad<br />

131

luck...<br />

Yes... But the bad luck is here, Dan.<br />

How do you feel?<br />

Broody... Dan, I‘ve realised that I don‘t know how to mourn... The knowledge<br />

that mother is dead is like a heavy weight. It is beginning to bore me... I‘m not sure<br />

what to do.<br />

Perhaps you should come downstairs. I‘ve lit a fire... It‘s warmer.<br />

No. This is a better place for brooding... Do you realise that Solomon is said to<br />

have written Ecclesiastes?<br />

Is that so? And?<br />

You opened the Bible for Brian at Solomon‘s dream... Do you think there is a<br />

connection?<br />

Is that what you are brooding about?<br />

On that... and loads of other things... But it is strange, Dan, isn‘t it?<br />

Perhaps coincidence, Lotty.<br />

What if I open it now? I‘ll ask a specific question about that.<br />

You are deflecting your feelings again, Lotty. Come downstairs... Brian<br />

shouldn‘t be kept in the dark like this.<br />

I wouldn‘t know what to do down there, Dan. Can‘t you see that? I mean it<br />

when I say I don‘t know how to behave.<br />

If that is the case, Lotty, perhaps you should behave as normally as possible.<br />

Would you do that?<br />

Yes.<br />

Have you being doing research?<br />

Yes.<br />

But what could I do? I don‘t have a paper to prepare.<br />

You could prepare dinner... You haven‘t eaten for over twenty-four hours, you<br />

know.<br />

I‘m not hungry... Anyway, I feel that if I try to behave normally something<br />

will explode in me... Oh.<br />

What is it?<br />

That is true, you know... It is as if there was something powerful in me...<br />

Something I can‘t... find expression for... You know, crying is not enough, Dan.<br />

Lotty...<br />

No. I‘ll do it. I‘ll ask a specific question.<br />

Don‘t.<br />

Don‘t what, Dan?<br />

I was going to say don‘t meddle.<br />

Meddle with what?<br />

I‘m not sure... If your feelings are as strong as you say... Perhaps you should<br />

be careful... of what you use to express them.<br />

But the Bible, Dan... Isn‘t it the Holy Book? Weren‘t we taught that?<br />

But not to be used in that way... Perhaps you should pray.<br />

I don‘t know how to pray either!... Dan, don‘t you understand? I don’t know<br />

what to do.<br />

Oh sweetheart... I do feel for you.<br />

Yes... I know that... Dan, I must find out... Now...<br />

Lotty.<br />

No... I‘ll ask, What should I do? Oh.<br />

What is it?<br />

132

And he did that which was evil in the sight of the Lord, and followed the sins<br />

of Jeroboam the son of Nebat, which made Israel to sin; he departeth not therefrom...<br />

What was the evil, Dan?<br />

Let me see... Yes. Give me the Bible... Jeroboam went back to worshipping<br />

the golden calf...<br />

You were right, Dan.<br />

Don‘t be so surprised, Lotty ... What did you expect?<br />

I should try to pray.<br />

Yes.<br />

But how?<br />

Say the prayers you do know... And empty your mind as much as possible... A<br />

kind of meditation... Will I pray with you?<br />

No... No. But thank you, Dan... Go back down.<br />

Will you come down afterwards?<br />

Yes.<br />

I‘ll take Brian down, then.<br />

I‘d rather he stayed here with me... He is company, Dan.<br />

I wish I knew what you should do, Lotty.<br />

You have been a help... Go... Oh, and take the Bible, will you?<br />

Okay... But there are arrangements to be made, Lotty... The funeral.<br />

Oh, Dan... Oh...<br />

I‘ll do the practical things. But you might have to sign things... You are the<br />

next of kin.<br />

The only kin, Dan... Oh... It‘s so awful, Dan.<br />

Try to pray, sweetheart. It will give you peace.<br />

Yes... I will. I promise.<br />

Come down soon.<br />

Yes...<br />

Dan?<br />

You‘re awake?<br />

What time is it?<br />

About eleven.<br />

It‘s still raining... What an awful awful day.<br />

There‘s no end to it... How do you feel, sweetheart?<br />

I tr<strong>ie</strong>d to pray, Dan.<br />

And?<br />

It is so hard to concentrate. My mind keeps drifting... I‘m thinking about<br />

everything... literally.<br />

Yes. I can imagine.<br />

How do you feel, Dan? Should I ask that?<br />

Yes. I liked your mother... Alice... You know that... I keep thinking of the<br />

death of my parents.<br />

You have that, haven‘t you? I mean what you learned from that exper<strong>ie</strong>nce.<br />

I suppose so.<br />

What did it teach you?<br />

Pat<strong>ie</strong>nce, Lotty.<br />

133

Oh...<br />

It sorts itself out, Lotty... Give it time.<br />

How long, Dan?<br />

Years, I suppose... It‘s a kind of oscillation, you know... At the beginning the<br />

swing can take you down pretty low. But then they become less extreme... And also<br />

more spaced out... I feel the low point about once a month now... When I wish they<br />

were still alive. At other times I can accept it with some objectivity... You know what<br />

I mean? I can tell myself that everyone d<strong>ie</strong>s... But most of the time I feel little or<br />

nothing... There is a gap... But it is a universal exper<strong>ie</strong>nce. I mean it can be borne.<br />

I realise now that I let mother mourn for daddy... And gr<strong>ie</strong>ve... That‘s what<br />

you mean, isn‘t it?<br />

Yes. That‘s it.<br />

But Tom Spencer helped her... He was a kind of substitute... I mean a kind of<br />

shadow of daddy... If your mother were alive, Dan.<br />

Don‘t push the analogy too far, Lotty... Spencer was probably not simply a<br />

shadow, as you say.<br />

You are right, of course, Dan. I‘m just trying to make sense of it.<br />

Yes. I understand... I didn‘t mean to sound critical... Just beware of looking for<br />

a false consolation.<br />

You can be surprisingly tough-minded at times, Dan.<br />

Tough? I‘m not being callous, Lotty.<br />

No. Not hard... You are right, you know... But, Dan, it‘s like something one<br />

bel<strong>ie</strong>ves is whole and... well, complete... Then one thing happens which shows you<br />

that that wholeness is a total illusion... Everything falls apart... I‘m trying to fit some<br />

parts back together.<br />

Oh poor Lotty... It is hard for you... You are...<br />

What?<br />

So innocent in a way... I‘ve always liked that in you... You have such a<br />

capacity to trust... It makes you so all embracing... For me, I mean.<br />

Oh, Dan, I would never have thought of myself as innocent... I have always<br />

been so knowing.<br />

To me you seem innocent... And at a moment like this it makes you so<br />

vulnerable... I wish I could remove the pain for you.<br />

Dan, Dan... Oh... Oh Dan...<br />

Yes... Here... There now, sweetheart... You will get over it, you know... Wipe<br />

your eyes, sweetheart.<br />

Nff... Dan, you are very clever. I‘ve just realised that each time we talk I end<br />

up crying.<br />

It eases you, sweetheart.<br />

Yes... But you don‘t cry, Dan... Did you cry after your parents d<strong>ie</strong>d?<br />

A little... But it was months afterwards.<br />

Perhaps you should have cr<strong>ie</strong>d, Dan.<br />

But I did gr<strong>ie</strong>ve, Lotty.<br />

Did you pray?<br />

Not really... I hadn‘t thought of it.<br />

Why did you suggest that I pray, then?<br />

It seemed the best thing to do... Seen from the outside, I mean.<br />

But I don‘t know how to pray either it seems... How did you manage then,<br />

Dan? You didn‘t cry and you didn‘t pray.<br />

Just kept going, I suppose... How is Brian?<br />

134

Very qu<strong>ie</strong>t... I think he knows something is wrong... But he has been very<br />

good... Even playful.<br />

Perhaps he is trying to cheer you up.<br />

Yes... Mother is right, Dan... He is a good child.<br />

He is... Do you want anything? Before I come to bed. No.<br />

You haven‘t eaten today.<br />

I don‘t feel like it... I‘ve drunk a lot of water... I‘ll eat tomorrow.<br />

Do. Will you sleep?<br />

After a while... Don‘t worry about me... Go to sleep.<br />

Yes... Goodnight.<br />

Goodnight, darling...<br />

MONDAY<br />

DUBLIN JOURNAL<br />

August 1985<br />

Monday 5th. Dun Laoghaire.<br />

Two incidents last night.<br />

One: Took a walk on deck as ship entered harbour: cooped up below all the<br />

way across: I wanted to see the coastline and the mountains: too cloudy and<br />

wet: a crewman — Welsh — short and brown — he was waiting to throw a<br />

line ashore — said to me, out of the blue: ‗They call it the old sod, sir. Too<br />

bleeding right.‘ He laughed. I said, without thinking, ‗But it‘s been raining<br />

since London.‘ He realised at once that I wasn‘t English. He was very put<br />

out.<br />

Two: At the exit of the terminal an old man had collapsed. People milled<br />

about him. I could get around him, but I had to step over his case. I felt very<br />

deflated afterwards. It took the good out of the arrival. All for the best, no<br />

doubt.<br />

Hamiltons Funeral Directors.<br />

Good morning. I want to arrange a funeral.<br />

Yes, sir. The details?<br />

Right. The deceased is Misses Alice Jameson. She was killed in a traffic<br />

accident on Saturday. Her body is in the Sligo hospital.<br />

When can we collect it?<br />

Tomorrow.<br />

Very good. Is there a grave yet?<br />

Yes. Dean‘s Grange. It‘s a double grave. Her husband is there already... You<br />

handled that funeral.<br />

What was his name.<br />

135

car.<br />

Victor Jameson. He d<strong>ie</strong>d about seven years ago.<br />

Ah. We‘ll have the grave number then.<br />

I thought so... The address is Fosters Avenue.<br />

About the collection... Are you the next of kin?<br />

No. My wife is... Will she have to sign anything?<br />

Not really. Give me the name.<br />

Misses Charlotte White. She‘s her daughter.<br />

I see... When do you want the funeral to take place?<br />

Wednesday?... There‘s no reason for delaying it.<br />

Yes... Wednesday then... We‘ll keep the remains in the mortuary here?<br />

Yes.<br />

Good... How many cars will you want, Mister White?<br />

I don‘t know... It will be private... Actually, I thought we would use our own<br />

Very well.<br />

Is there anything else?<br />

Not at the moment. I‘ll ring you back if there is... You‘re in the book?<br />

Yes,<br />

Good... Oh, you can pay your respects at the mortuary, if you wish...<br />

Anytime on Tuesday evening... Say after six.<br />

Yes... Well, goodbye. And thank you.<br />

Goodbye, Mister White... And give your wife our condolences.<br />

Thank you.<br />

Irish Times. Good morning.<br />

Good morning. I want to place a notice of death, please.<br />

Hold on... You‘re through.<br />

Hello?<br />

Yes?<br />

I want to place a notice of death.<br />

Yes... .Go ahead.<br />

Oh... The name is Misses Alice Jameson... Of Fosters Avenue. She d<strong>ie</strong>d on<br />

Saturday... .What date?<br />

The third.<br />

Thank you... Missed by her daughter... Charlotte... and her son-in-law...<br />

Yes... And... no flowers... The funeral will be private.<br />

I‘ll read it back... This is how it will appear... Jameson bracket Mount<br />

Merrion close bracket stop. August three nineteen eighty-five comma Alice stop.<br />

Sadly missed by her daughter Charlotte and son-in-law stop. No flowers please stop.<br />

Private funeral stop... Your name and address please.<br />

Dan<strong>ie</strong>l White, fifteen Carlisle Avenue, Dublin four.<br />

Can you authenticate this please?<br />

Pardon?<br />

Oh... We need some evidence that this death occurred, Mister White.<br />

What kind of evidence?... I tell you what... Would the word of a police<br />

officer be suffic<strong>ie</strong>nt?... You see, it was a traffic accident... In County Leitrim.<br />

Yes. That would do.<br />

Can you ring a Detective Sergeant Michael Sheehy?... Of the Special Traffic<br />

Section?... It‘s in the new headquarters in Harcourt Street.<br />

136

Yes. That will do grand.<br />

Will it go in tomorrow‘s edition?<br />

Yes.<br />

Good. Thank you.<br />

Goodbye.<br />

Goodbye.<br />

Yes?... Hello.<br />

Jim?<br />

Hhh?... Who‘s that?<br />

It‘s Dick.<br />

Oh. Hello... I didn‘t recognise your voice... Where are you ringing from? The<br />

line is very clear.<br />

From Dun Laoghaire<br />

Dun Laoghaire!... I didn‘t know you were coming over... Does mother?<br />

No. It was a sudden decision. I had been thinking of it all summer... But the<br />

summer doesn‘t look as though it will get any better. So I decided on Friday to come<br />

over.<br />

How long will you stay?... No. It‘s Dick... No. He‘s in Dublin... That was<br />

Anne... Watch out. Here comes Aiden... Better speak to him, Dick.<br />

Hello, Aiden, can you hear me?<br />

H‘llo.<br />

Hello.<br />

H‘llo.<br />

Where is Colm, Aiden?<br />

He‘s inside... He can‘t get out... He can‘t open the door yet.<br />

And you can... Can you open the door?<br />

Oh yes... I can open all the doors.<br />

Aren‘t you very clever?<br />

Yes... Colm can‘t open any doors at all.<br />

No doubt he‘ll learn soon enough... Can I speak to your daddy again.<br />

Okay... Goodbye.<br />

Goodbye... Jim?<br />

Yes. He‘s satisf<strong>ie</strong>d for the moment,<br />

How are they?<br />

They‘re in fine form... You can hear Colm?<br />

He wants to get out to the phone?<br />

Yes. He cop<strong>ie</strong>s everything Aiden does... And of course Aiden tr<strong>ie</strong>s to do<br />

things that he can‘t copy.<br />

They sound a handful.<br />

Worse as they get older.<br />

Someone said that little boys should he put in barrels and fed through the<br />

bungholes until they were eighteen.<br />

Good idea... How are you?<br />

Pretty good.<br />

How is the writing?<br />

I finished something a while ago. I‘m waiting to hear from the publishers.<br />

Will there be any difficulty?<br />

137

I don‘t know, I never found anyone for the last novel... Too expensive to<br />

publish, apparently.<br />

Really? But the earl<strong>ie</strong>r ones sold, didn‘t they?<br />

Moderately... The attitude has changed. They are only interested in things<br />

they can pour a fortune into... You know, blockbusters and loads of hype.<br />

You should get an agent, Dick.<br />

Maybe... I suppose I want to stay outside the whole scene... How is the<br />

planning game?<br />

The usual shambles.<br />

Well... You seem to be doing well enough all the same, Jim... Mother told me<br />

you were promoted again.<br />

Yes. But there is a bottleneck now. It could be ten or twelve years before I<br />

move again.<br />

Cutbacks?<br />

Not so much that as an end to expansion.<br />

What about the new councils they are setting up in place of the city and<br />

county councils?<br />

Oh that... There will be now titles, but no hard promotion. Salar<strong>ie</strong>s will be<br />

much as now... No. I‘ll have to go outside Dublin if I want to go further.<br />

Do you?<br />

That‘s the rationale of it... Weber said that careerism was the essential nature<br />

of bureaucracy... He was right.<br />

Still, Anne is pleased.<br />

Yes... It means that I‘m being noticed. That‘s important to her.<br />

How is she?<br />

Very well. You know we‘re expecting another child.<br />

Yes. When?<br />

Around early February.<br />

Perhaps a girl this time?<br />

Anne does... And me.<br />

How is mother?<br />

She‘s very well. She was here for dinner last night... When did you come in?<br />

Last night. I spent the night here in Dun Laoghaire.<br />

I thought so. You should have rung when you got in... You could have stayed<br />

here.<br />

No. I like to spend the first night here... It gives me time to adjust.<br />

You should fly over, Dick. It would be much quicker.<br />

I have the time, Jim... I enjoy it.<br />

How long will you stay?<br />

A week or so... The summer is about over.<br />

Do you want to come out here?<br />

I thought I‘d stay in Dublin itself, Jim. More central.<br />

Have you rung mother yet?<br />

No. I‘ll do that tomorrow.<br />

Do you have a place in Dublin yet?<br />

No.<br />

Well, there‘s a guest house in Rathmines. In Grosvenor Road. I‘ll ring them<br />

if you like.<br />

If you would... What number is it?<br />

Fourteen.<br />

138

I‘ll go in this afternoon. I can take an eighteen from Ballsbridge?<br />

Yes... Will you come to dinner tonight?<br />

No. Not tonight, Jim... Say Wednesday.<br />

Wednesday. Good... You will go to see mother before that?<br />

Yes. I‘ll probably go tomorrow.<br />

Right. I‘ll see you Wednesday then... And I‘ll ring that place now... It should<br />

be alright.<br />

Good... Thanks, Jim... I‘ll see you.<br />

I‘ll see you, Dick.<br />

Yes?... Paul Clarke.<br />

Reverend Clarke?... My name is Dan<strong>ie</strong>l White... Of Carlisle Avenue.<br />

Ah. Doctor White... How are you? We have not had the pleasure of meeting<br />

yet... But I have met your lovely wife, Charlotte.<br />

So I bel<strong>ie</strong>ve, Reverend Clarke... Actually, I want to speak to you about my<br />

wife... Her mother d<strong>ie</strong>d on Saturday. We were wondering if you...<br />

I thought the name was familiar... Misses Alice Jameson, isn‘t that it?<br />

Why yes.<br />

It was on the radio yesterday morning... I always listen to orr tee ee on<br />

Sunday mornings, Doctor White. So preparing, you know... I bel<strong>ie</strong>ve I met Misses<br />

Jameson... About two months ago... Your wife, Charlotte, was expecting?<br />

That‘s right... We had a son about a month ago.<br />

Yes. Yes... It was a sudden death, Doctor White... Charlotte must be very<br />

shocked.<br />

She is, Reverend Clarke.<br />

Do call me Paul... And perhaps I could call you Dan<strong>ie</strong>l. There is no need for<br />

formality between a pastor and his flock, you know... And certainly, Dan<strong>ie</strong>l, I will do<br />

what I can for you both... The Spirit is always willing, Dan<strong>ie</strong>l... Do you bel<strong>ie</strong>ve<br />

that?... Would you like me to call on you?<br />

If you could... We have arranged the funeral for Wednesday morning...<br />

Dean‘s Grange... I‘m not sure of the time yet.<br />

Will you be at home this evening?... At about seven... I would come sooner,<br />

but...<br />

That will be fine... I look forward to meeting you.<br />

And I look forward to getting to know you, Dan<strong>ie</strong>l... I stud<strong>ie</strong>d at Trinity too<br />

you know. Graduated in seventy-eight. The same year as Charlotte... You were there<br />

then?... Preparing your doctorate.<br />

Yes, that‘s right... Did we ever meet?<br />

Not directly, Dan<strong>ie</strong>l... I have a strong interest in history, you see... Your name<br />

cropped up, as you might expect... You went over to politics... However...<br />

Well, goodbye till this evening.<br />

Goodbye, Dan<strong>ie</strong>l... May the Spirit be with you.<br />

You are up.<br />

139

Yes.<br />

I‘ll draw the curtains, Lotty.<br />

Dan...<br />

It‘s a bright day, Lotty... I‘ve made a number of arrangements... That<br />

clergyman will be here this evening to discuss the funeral.<br />

This evening?<br />

I‘ll put Brian out in the garden. He should have sun and air... Will you come<br />

down and eat?<br />

You are in a very determined mood, Dan.<br />

There are things to be done, Lotty... However we feel... Come on, Brian.<br />

Reverend Clarke annoys you?<br />

Did you know him at College?<br />

Faintly... Very enthusiastic about history.<br />

So I bel<strong>ie</strong>ve... He didn‘t have to work at it.<br />

What is it, Dan?... It‘s very rarely that someone gets to you.<br />

He‘s far too presumptuous, Lotty... Who is he?<br />

I‘m not sure... I was told once that they have some kind of poultry business in<br />

Cavan... Dan, it‘s probably difficult for him... I mean the clergy are so isolated now...<br />

They jump at any chance to have contact with their parishioners.<br />

Their parishioners are those who attend church, Lotty. Not those who happen<br />

to live in their parish.<br />

You can tell him that this evening, Dan.<br />

Hhh... You are right, Lotty... I don‘t want to hurt his feelings. As you say,<br />

he‘s only doing his duty... But when these clergymen speak, language seems to lose<br />

its shape.<br />

You mean their rhetoric?<br />

No. Not that alone. Rhetoric can enhance expression... But words lose their<br />

meaning... Can you see that?<br />

In what way?<br />

Words can‘t express what these religious people bel<strong>ie</strong>ve. So when they use<br />

them, their meanings seem to float. The words always seem to mean something else.<br />

Yes, That‘s true... But what is wrong with that, Dan?... That is religion.<br />

No! That is phantasy. At worst it is a kind of novelty hunting... There‘s<br />

nothing original in religion. But these young clergymen don‘t seem to realise this.<br />

Why are you so annoyed, Dan? It‘s not like you... why are you so upset?<br />

Yes. Give me a moment... Come downstairs... Let‘s eat... We must go over to<br />

Fosters Avenue.<br />

To the house?... Why?<br />

Apparently news of the crash was on the radio yesterday.<br />

Was it?... I suppose it would have been. They always report that kind of<br />

accident. But why should we go out?<br />

Don‘t you see? To some people that would mean that the house was empty.<br />

They could burgle it.<br />

Are you serious?<br />

It‘s what I would do if I was at that game.<br />

The house of a dead woman, Dan?<br />

It‘s an empty house. It‘s an affluent suburb.<br />

You mean steal a dead woman‘s possessions?... My mother?<br />

Property is property, Lotty... It‘s value belongs to its possessor regardless of<br />

how it is acquired... What would you like to eat? You must be very hungry.<br />

140

Yes. I am... Yes. We‘ll go out. You are right, Dan... Trust you to think of it.<br />

I suggest you drink about a pint of warm water first. It will relax your<br />

system... Here.<br />

Thanks... But why are you so annoyed, Dan?<br />

I‘m not sure. It happened very suddenly... I‘m not really sure what caused it.<br />

Wasn‘t it Reverend Clarke?<br />

Perhaps. That‘s what I thought at first... But he is rather harmless... As you<br />

say, isolated... Will you eat an orange? I thought I would do scrambled eggs.<br />

Have you not eaten yet?<br />

No. I had some coffee earl<strong>ie</strong>r.<br />

You‘re annoyed at me, Dan... Aren‘t you?<br />

At you?<br />

Yes... Sitting up in that dark room.<br />

It‘s much brighter today... Yesterday was one of the most miserable days I<br />

have ever exper<strong>ie</strong>nced... I feel active. I want to go out.<br />

Yes... Well, Dan, it worked... I‘ll have scrambled egg.<br />

Good... I‘ll put Brian out while you eat that orange...<br />

Krk!<br />

Krkrkrk! Krk!<br />

I can hear the magp<strong>ie</strong>s... No. Leave the door open for a while.<br />

They are always there, Lotty.<br />

Funny I never noticed them before... But I must have seen them in the<br />

garden.<br />

You probably did... Brian likes them. He lit up the moment he heard them.<br />

Is he safe?<br />

We can keep an eye on him from here.<br />

Krkrk!<br />

What a horrible sound.<br />

Crack. Crack... But their plumage is beautiful, Lotty... You should watch<br />

them flying.<br />

They seem so ruthless... You know, bestial.<br />

Watch a sparrow feeding, Lotty. Animals are just single-minded. They don‘t<br />

intend anything... Unlike humans. It‘s just the way they are.<br />

Yes, I know... I had a cat as a child... It was almost pure white. We called it<br />

Lucy... I found it playing with something one day. It was so thoroughly involved that<br />

I was curious to know what could interest her so much... It was a young mouse. But<br />

the mouse was so traumatised by Lucy‘s baiting that it couldn‘t move after I had<br />

taken Lucy away... Daddy had to put it out of its misery... She was a very affectionate<br />

cat.<br />

What happened then?<br />

Oh we gave her away... I hated her after that.<br />

Here... Eat slowly.<br />

Yes... Thanks... Perhaps it was a reaction to mother‘s death?<br />

Mmm?... Could be that too.<br />

Are you very repressed, do you think?<br />

Repressed?<br />

I always thought of you as cool and steady. But you are more complex...<br />

Emotionally, I mean.<br />

I should think so. I‘m not a machine.<br />

No... And you can be passionate... More passionate than I am... But you<br />

141

should show your feelings more, Dan.<br />

I don‘t suppress them consciously, if that is what you mean.<br />

No. You don‘t... Do you deflect them into your research, do you think?<br />

Hardly... That‘s supposed to be unemotional, you know.<br />

That‘s what I mean.<br />

Would that be true of all academics?<br />

I don‘t know... But in my exper<strong>ie</strong>nce they are very deliberate... Even female<br />

academics.. .Oh, look.<br />

What?<br />

That magp<strong>ie</strong> is on Brian‘s cot again... Shooh! Go away!... It won‘t move,<br />

Dan... Chase it away... Please.<br />

Oh it‘s not doing any harm... Hoi!... Scat!... There.<br />

It took no notice of me, Dan... But it jumped when you shouted.<br />

So did Brian... He‘s alright... Look how lively he is... He really does like the<br />

magp<strong>ie</strong>s, Lotty... Anyway, your voice is not loud enough.<br />

We should put a screen over him, Dan.<br />

He won‘t be able to see anything at all then.<br />

Then bring him in, Dan... We‘ll be going now.<br />

Okay... Up you come, old son... Say goodbye to the Magp<strong>ie</strong>s... There... He‘s<br />

waving, Lotty... He seems to understand that.<br />

Krk!<br />

And the magp<strong>ie</strong>s too... What do you think of that, Lotty? Isn‘t that<br />

extraordinary?<br />

He‘s too young, Dan. He can‘t see that far yet... . Give him to me. I want to<br />

change him.<br />

I‘ll get the car out... Will you be long?<br />

No... He‘s clean... I want to put a clean suit on him.<br />

Krkrk!<br />

Close the back door, will you, Dan.<br />

Don‘t take so much notice of them, Lotty.<br />

Farmers shoot them as vermin.<br />

I know... They have driven most of the blackbirds out of College... Only the<br />

thrushes seem to stand up to them... They‘re all over the city now, in any case.<br />

Then all we‘ll hear is their horrible crack crack... There... We‘ll go out with<br />

you, Dan.<br />

Right... Don‘t forget the key to Fosters Avenue.<br />

Of course... It‘s here... I‘ve got it.<br />

There‘s not much wind... Will you put Brian in the back.<br />

Will it rain?<br />

Showers perhaps... But we won‘t be out in it.<br />

I do wish it would clear up. It has been like this for weeks.<br />

Yes... How do you feel?<br />

Better... You were right, you know. The awful gloom does ease.<br />

The first days are the worst.<br />

The weather helps... Yesterday expressed my mood so completely, Dan.<br />

Didn‘t it?... The whole of nature in sympathy?<br />

I wouldn‘t go that far... But a heat wave would have been incongruous.<br />

I‘m glad you feel better, though.<br />

Yes... But I feel brittle, Dan... You do too, don‘t you?<br />

Brittle?... Something like that... It‘s good to get out.<br />

142

props.<br />

Yes... Everything looks sodden, Dan.<br />

And brittle... Colours are too bright.<br />

Yes... It‘s a kind of facade, really... As though the houses and trees were just<br />

I see what you mean...<br />

And there‘s nothing behind them.<br />

But there is.<br />

Yes... But it doesn‘t seem like it today... I feel that if I looked behind that<br />

house, for instance, I would see nothing at all... Just a dark blank space.<br />

That‘s just the mood you are in, Lotty.<br />

I know... By the way, I dreamed of the seal last night.<br />

Did you?... I thought you had gone beyond that stage.<br />

So did I... It was exactly the same dream. It was diving down down into the<br />

sea... Isn‘t that strange?<br />

Why?<br />

Mother‘s death had no effect on it.<br />

Did you expect that?<br />

I assume that is why I had it again.<br />

Hardly... It will be some time before that exper<strong>ie</strong>nce appears in your dream.<br />

How do you know that?<br />

On analogy with writing. I find that the knowledge which appears in the deep<br />

structures of my writing is usually a year behind what I‘m dealing with on the surface.<br />

How do you mean, Dan?<br />

Well, take an essay. There is the subject matter. That‘s the surface element...<br />

What the writing is about. Then there is the whole structure of the essay... The bits<br />

that connect the elements of the surface. And the assumptions behind how the essay is<br />

organised and the tendency of my argument... That‘s the deep structure... That is<br />

usually about a year behind the surface element... I reckon then that it takes about a<br />

year... though probably a bit less... for knowledge... I should say significant<br />

knowledge... to be absorbed to those levels... I think dreams are like that too... though<br />

I don‘t know how long it takes for material to be absorbed... But I don‘t see why it<br />

shouldn‘t be the same... After all it‘s the same mental structure.<br />

What about the unconscious?<br />

Or subconscious... Most of the mind appears to be below consciousness... In<br />

fact I would say that consciousness is an instrument of the mind rather than a state...<br />

But even then it seems to shade off into unconsciousness... Most of my thinking,<br />

anyway, is unconscious.<br />

So it is the old dream... Is that what you are saying?<br />

Yes... It must have been put in abeyance for some reason... Though perhaps<br />

your mother‘s death has triggered it again.<br />

What is the dream about, Dan?<br />

What do you think?<br />

Some part of me is diving down after something.<br />

What?<br />

Brian, I suppose... To bring him back.<br />

To the womb?<br />

Yes<br />

Okay... You stopped doing that for a few days... After I made you conscious<br />

of it... And because of your mother‘s death you have resumed diving?<br />

It would seem so.<br />

143

Here we are... Everything looks as it should.<br />

How lonely it seems, Dan.<br />

Sad.<br />

Yes.<br />

Is it solid?<br />

Inert.<br />

Good word... A memorial?<br />

I feel my childhood flowing through me.<br />

Do you mind going in?<br />

No... We‘ll bring Brian.<br />

Yes... Of course... Lotty.<br />

Hmm?<br />

Do you know what I think your dream is about?<br />

What?<br />

About your becoming a mother.<br />

And that‘s not the same thing?<br />

I don‘t think so.<br />

How did you see that?<br />

You treat Brian as some kind of talisman. Have you noticed?... You keep him<br />

by you all the time.<br />

You are very perceptive, Dan.<br />

Yes... Let‘s go... Give me the key... You can take Brian.<br />

What is going to happen to her garden, Dan?<br />

We‘ll have to work that out later... You will have to do something about the<br />

house as well.<br />

It‘s not mine, Dan.<br />

It is... She‘s left you everything... It‘s quite a bit.<br />

How do you know?<br />

The security locks are on... She told me.<br />

When?<br />

Shortly after we told her you were expecting... I think she wanted to reassure<br />

me about the future... Did she not tell you?<br />

Not so directly... I always assumed, I suppose.<br />

Everything seems to be in order... But look, Lotty, I think we should take the<br />

moveable valuables away. The television and stereo... And her jewellery.<br />

Do you?<br />

In case anyone does break in... We‘ll make a list of what we take... For the<br />

solicitor.<br />

Oh Dan... It is so sad... It really is... It was a senseless accident... How on<br />

earth could it happen? Tom was a show-off, but he wasn‘t reckless.<br />

I don‘t know... Anything could have happened... He could have misjudged a<br />

bend or something... Those narrow country roads.<br />

But to kill both of them?<br />

What?<br />

He must have crashed at some speed.<br />

Perhaps they wanted to get to Galway as early as they could.<br />

No. Mother doesn‘t like speed... She would not have let him.<br />

What are you getting at, Lotty?<br />

Her death... The crash... everything... It‘s just too senseless... Wait... Dan...<br />

There‘s something... Dan, who would want mother to d<strong>ie</strong>?<br />

144

What is it, Lotty?<br />

Something... Can‘t you feel it?... No?... You don‘t know this house as I do...<br />

Someone has been here, Dan.<br />

Lotty!<br />

No, Dan... Wait... I‘ll show you... I can feel it.<br />

Nothing is disturbed, Lotty... You are looking for a scapegoat again.<br />

The cushions!... Dan, the cushions on the sofa... Look! Mother would never<br />

put them like that... Lying flat on the seat... Can you see?... She always laid them<br />

against the back and slightly angled... That was one of her pet obsessions...<br />

Everything should seem to be in motion. She hated square or flat arrangements.<br />

Are you sure?<br />

Let‘s look upstairs.<br />

Do you want to leave Brian here?<br />

No... He‘s not heavy.<br />

The house was searched?<br />

What else... unless... in here... This is her bedroom... You can see for yourself<br />

here, Dan... They were less careful... Look at the shoe... at the bed... They forgot to<br />

put it back... Mother wouldn‘t leave her shoes in a jumble like that.<br />

Her jewellery?<br />

The box is under here. It‘s a kind of safe... No... It‘s all here... But it was<br />

searched too.<br />

How do you know?<br />

That.<br />

What is it?<br />

That‘s how I knew, Dan... Yes... Whoever searched here was smoking... See<br />

the ash under the box?... Mother doesn‘t smoke... Nor does Tom... I must have<br />

smelled it... It would hang in an airless room.<br />

It was searched recently then.<br />

Why?... Her jewellery is here. And her papers... And. Wait... Yes... She<br />

always keeps some money here... For emergenc<strong>ie</strong>s... How much is there, Dan?<br />

One hundred... twenty-six... A hundred and twenty-six pounds... We had<br />

better take this as well... Hold on.<br />

What?<br />

Playing detective... I want to see if the house is being watched... No... At<br />

least not that I can see... Look, bring the money and the other things we‘re going to<br />

bring the car into the drive...<br />

Hold on... I‘ll come down with you.<br />

Shy of being in your mother‘s room alone?<br />

Yes. To be honest... I can feel her presence so strongly.<br />

I remember that at home... After the accident... Actually... I‘ll tell you again...<br />

Put Brian in the drawing room, Lotty...<br />

I‘ll open the gates for you.<br />

Okay... I‘ll reverse in. Put the other things in the boot.<br />

Krk!<br />

Krkrk!<br />

Oh... Come straight in now, Dan... The magp<strong>ie</strong>s.<br />

Here?.. Yes... One. Two... Two for joy, anyway... Come on... Let‘s get this<br />

done… I‘ll bring the television... Perhaps you should take the silver?<br />

Yes... I‘ll get something to put it in...<br />

Put it on the floor of the car... Not in the boot.<br />

145

Okay...<br />

Krkrk!<br />

Uuu!<br />

Mmm?<br />

What?<br />

I think Brian made his first sound... Brian?... Uuuu!<br />

Oh he‘s laughing!<br />

Krkrk! Krk!<br />

Uuu!<br />

See?<br />

Extraordinary... He‘s fascinated by those birds... Have you got it all?<br />

Yes... Is there anything else?<br />

The books?<br />

Not that valuable.<br />

Let‘s go then... Come on, old son... Talking to the birds?... Uuuu!<br />

He loves that.<br />

Yes... Oh... Yes... I‘ll put him in... Right... Ignition... Lotty, don‘t look<br />

suddenly... There‘s a blue Talbot down the road to your left... I‘m going the other<br />

way... Glance as I turn... Now.<br />

Yes... I think you‘re right.<br />

He‘s not following... Lotty, I‘ve just remembered some thing... That<br />

detective... Sheehy... he knew precisely when Spencer and your mother crossed the<br />

Border. He said the ar you cee had logged them.<br />

I don‘t remember... I think I was too shocked.<br />

I daresay... But why would the ar you cee log that?... I‘m sure they don‘t take<br />

note of every car that crosses... There‘s something just too insidious about that... But<br />

what is more important, Lotty, is this... Why did Sheehy tell us that?<br />

Dan, what are you getting at?<br />

In the hall, Sheehy asked me what I knew about Spencer‘s business... Why?<br />

Do you think Tom was up to something?... My God... In the North?<br />

I don‘t know... But look, Lotty... Again... The accident occurred fairly soon<br />

after they crossed the Border... I wonder if they were escorted to the Border?... If that<br />

was so, then it‘s clear that the Guards didn‘t provide thorn with protection once they<br />

had crossed.<br />

They were attacked?<br />

I don‘t know.<br />

Who would know?<br />

Again I don‘t know.<br />

Dan, don‘t say those things if you have no proof!<br />

It‘s circumstantial... Lotty, that detective didn‘t know why Spencer was in the<br />

North. But he was hoping we did... He came to tell us himself so he could gauge our<br />

reaction.<br />

You mean he thinks we are mixed up in something?... With the eye ar aye?<br />

No. Of course not.<br />

Who then?... The protestants?<br />

Perhaps.<br />

But we‘ve no connection with them.<br />

We‘re prods too.<br />

No!<br />

From the heart, Lotty... Who then? Who else is there?<br />

146

The English?... Do you think Tom Spencer was a British secret agent?<br />

Tom‘s from Surrey... His family is still there.<br />

But there are lots of English people here. Surely they are not all sp<strong>ie</strong>s.<br />

Tom Spencer... and your mother... were killed in a senseless crash on a lonely<br />

road just after leaving the North. A departure, moreover, which was carefully noted<br />

by the Northern police. And a somewhat heavy cop from a section called the Special<br />

Traffic Section comes to tell us about it... Normally, I assume they would send<br />

someone around from Donnybrook station.<br />

Dan?<br />

Yes?<br />

Wow!<br />

Hhh... Hah... You don‘t bel<strong>ie</strong>ve it?<br />

You said I was trying to blame someone for my mother‘s death. But when<br />

you set about doing it, you really make up a good story... It‘s fantastic, Dan... The ar<br />

you cee probably note every car that crosses the Border. Why not? They have<br />

computers, I suppose. The Special Traffic Section or whatever probably does deal<br />

with serious, that is, special road accidents. And one in which two people are killed is<br />

surely serious... Why are you reading so much into it?<br />

I‘m paranoid.<br />

But only about Russian and American jet bombers?<br />

And memorial lectures.<br />

And memorial lectures.<br />

I‘ll reverse in... You take the money and the jewellery in... I‘ll bring the other<br />

things in... Leave Brian to last... He‘s asleep, anyway.<br />

Give me the door keys. I didn‘t bring mine... Okay... I‘ll come back for the<br />

silver.<br />

Do that... Na!... Damned thing is heavy...<br />

Put it in the hall... The neighbours will wonder.<br />

Let them... Can you bring the speakers... Then I‘ll get Brian.<br />

Okay...<br />

That‘s it.<br />

I‘ll lock the car.<br />

Do... Down you go, sleepy head... Uuu!... He‘s happy, Lotty.<br />

What did you expect?<br />

I don‘t know... He is resil<strong>ie</strong>nt.<br />

So you have said.<br />

We better put this stuff away before the Reverend comes.<br />

What time?<br />

Around seven.<br />

It‘s nearly that.<br />

Yes.<br />

Where?<br />

The dining room.<br />

Let‘s go. I‘ll help.<br />

They‘re heavy.<br />

I‘m not that weak.<br />

Okay.<br />

I‘ll take the stereo anyway.<br />

The silver... This is yours now, Lotty.<br />

Yes... But I would rather have mother.<br />

147

I know... There... Now... Lotty. One thing about my paranoid phantasy.<br />

What?<br />

Who searched Fosters‘ Avenue and why?<br />

Another delusion?<br />

Was it?<br />

Except for the ash, Dan... There‘s no escaping that.<br />

So?<br />

It becomes sinister again... The phone.<br />

Will I?<br />

Yes... Do.<br />

Hello.<br />

Dan?<br />

Maire?<br />

Yes.<br />

Lousy line. Where are you speaking from?<br />

Clifden.<br />

Where‘s that?<br />

Home. In County Galway. In the West. In Connemara. About two hundred<br />

miles away from you.<br />

All of that?<br />

Aren‘t you in mourning, Dan? You‘re not that irreverent really?<br />

We are... Hold on... It‘s Maire... From her home in County Galway. .<br />

Is that Charlotte?<br />

Not yet... We‘ve discovered we don‘t know how to mourn.<br />

Dan! Stop it... Let me speak to Charlotte.<br />

Okay... Hold on... She wants to speak to you.<br />

Hello, Maire.<br />

Charlotte. I‘m so sorry, Charlotte. I heard it on the news yesterday, but I<br />

waited till today to ring... It must be a terrible shock.<br />

It was, Maire... I don‘t think I fully realise it yet.<br />

Yes... I rang earl<strong>ie</strong>r.<br />

We were out.<br />

Oh... That was a good idea... The weather was better. After yesterday... I‘m<br />

glad you are not brooding.<br />

Dan was firm.<br />

Trust him... So many confuse mourning and moaning... Tell Dan that.<br />

I will. No doubt he will appreciate it...<br />

Charlotte... I am sorry for you.<br />

I know, Maire.<br />

Is there anything 1 can do? When I come up tomorrow.<br />

Thank you, but no... There‘s really not much one can do.<br />

When is the funeral?<br />

Dan, when is the funeral?<br />

Wednesday morning.<br />

Wednesday morning, Maire.<br />

Dean‘s Grange?<br />

Dean‘s Grange?... Yes, Maire. Dean‘s Grange.<br />

I met your mother about four times. She was charming, Charlotte. So<br />

vivacious,<br />

Yes, Maire. She was.<br />

148

Oh... I‘ll come and see you if I may, Charlotte,<br />

Do... Thank you for ringing.<br />

Yes... Give my regards to Dan and Brian, won‘t you?<br />

I will... Bye... See you.<br />

Goodbye, Charlotte.<br />

Lotty.<br />

It‘s part of it, Dan... She means well.<br />

Yes... Poor Maire.<br />

Why? She really is a gregarious person.<br />

Yes... Ah. The Reverend Clarke.<br />

Do you want to freshen?<br />

No, Dan... Mmm... Actually, I look the part now.<br />

I‘ll go... Are you getting cynical?<br />

Oh no... Irony... I‘m assuming the role... It is a social role.<br />

Yes... hello... Reverend Clarke?<br />

Ah, Dan<strong>ie</strong>l. So glad to meet you at last... Charlotte! You poor girl. I am so<br />

sorry to hear about this bereavement... I‘m glad you called me... You know, the Spirit<br />

is always willing... Shall we go inside?<br />

Yes...Thank you for coming.<br />

Well now... It is sad... What can I say by way of consolation? Not for the<br />

dead, you understand, Dan<strong>ie</strong>l, Charlotte. The dead pass into the unknown. To be<br />

frank, we don‘t know what happens after death. I mean, sc<strong>ie</strong>ntifically, that is...<br />

Empirically. But we have two p<strong>ie</strong>ces of evidence... The first p<strong>ie</strong>ce is if you like public<br />

knowledge. I mean that it is secular... discovered by human reason unaided. You<br />

should he familiar with it, Dan<strong>ie</strong>l... you are a scholar... You see, Charlotte, energy is<br />

finally indestructible. That is right, Dan<strong>ie</strong>l?... And... and matter is energy... so matter<br />

is indestructible... This means, Charlotte... Dan<strong>ie</strong>l, that while your mother, dear Alice<br />

Jameson, is dead to us, corporally she is still present... She will always be present...<br />

Do you see, Charlotte?... Your mother will always he with us in that way... There is<br />

nowhere else for her to go... Ah…<br />

Reverend... Paul.<br />

Yes, Dan<strong>ie</strong>l?<br />

Would you like some tea?<br />

Oh n...<br />

Charlotte was on the point of making some when you arrived... We have just<br />

come in.<br />

Oh, in that case... Tea would be very welcome.<br />

Charlotte?<br />

Excuse me... both of you.<br />

Certainly... Poor Charlotte, Dan<strong>ie</strong>l. It has been such a shock... God knows it<br />

is the one certainty in every life. And yet it is always such a shock... Such a wrench...<br />

Dan<strong>ie</strong>l, it leaves such a gap.<br />

Yes... of course.<br />

But the ever-presence of the totality of energy in the universe, Dan<strong>ie</strong>l... isn‘t<br />

that a priceless truth to possess?... I mean, it makes the material plane that much less<br />

al<strong>ie</strong>n to us... Think what a difference such a truth would have made to Saint Paul or<br />

Saint Augustine... You see, the material is not simply opposed to the Spirit, Dan<strong>ie</strong>l...<br />

As Paul and Augustine bel<strong>ie</strong>ved... No! The Spirit permeates it... Remember, the Spirit<br />

flew over the waters in the very beginning... The waters of chaos were dark...<br />

undifferentiated... without order... even, I tell you, Dan<strong>ie</strong>l, without... potential... But<br />

149

the Spirit flew over the waters... That was the beginning of creation, Dan<strong>ie</strong>l... The<br />

Spirit brought light... For the first thing God said was... Let there be light!... Then<br />

there was differentiation... for then there was both day and night... You see, Dan<strong>ie</strong>l,<br />

there was the basis of time... Differentiation is temporal, Dan<strong>ie</strong>l... That is a profound<br />

insight... Then God separated the waters and the earth... He separated the flowing<br />

from the still... in that way, Dan<strong>ie</strong>l, God created order... you see? Order is the fixed in<br />

the flux... Order maintains, sustains and remains. Finally, God created life... potency...<br />

Mark that, Dan<strong>ie</strong>l... The Spirit brought life to the material... The potential comes from<br />

outside matter... Now, Dan<strong>ie</strong>l... and this is the deep insight here... Energy is not life...<br />

The potential does not He in the mere movement of matter or in f<strong>ie</strong>lds of force... No<br />

Life comes from the Spirit, Dan<strong>ie</strong>l!... Potential is the direction given to material<br />

motion... Dan<strong>ie</strong>l, it is an absolutely distinct impress on energy... A total transformation<br />

of blind force... And, Dan<strong>ie</strong>l, what is this direction that the Spirit gives?... It is<br />

easily deduced, you know... Well, it is the spiritual order... A transcendental order that<br />

is overlaid on material order... You see, Dan<strong>ie</strong>l?... It gives an end... or as they used to<br />

say... it gives matter a good... And what is that end, Dan<strong>ie</strong>l?... Mmm?... What other<br />

end but the spiritual end... And what is the spiritual end, Dan<strong>ie</strong>l?... Why, God! ... Of<br />

course it is God... Do you see now... Ah, Charlotte. how nice of you.<br />

I‘ve made some sandwiches... Dan?<br />

Yes, Charlotte. I am hungry... Will you eat with us, Reverend Clarke?<br />

Yes... Yes... of course... It is very kind of you, Charlotte... It is good when a<br />

pastor can share the ordinary rituals of life with his flock... Thank you... thank you...<br />

This is delicious.<br />

Dan?<br />

Thanks<br />

Paul, you said there was another... a second p<strong>ie</strong>ce of evidence.<br />

Yes. Oh yes, Charlotte... It is the esoteric knowledge... That which is called<br />

revelation...<br />

Take another sandwich, Reverend Clarke.<br />

Hh?... Oh yes... Thank you, Dan<strong>ie</strong>l... Most kind... Mmm... Yes.<br />

Are you free on Wednesday morning, Reverend Clarke?<br />

Wednesday?... In the morning?<br />

We thought we would ask you to read the service for Misses Jameson... Isn‘t<br />

that right, Charlotte?<br />

Yes... On Wednesday morning.<br />

I will be very happy to do that little service for you, Charlotte... Dan<strong>ie</strong>l.<br />

Good... It will be at eleven... Dean‘s Grange... You know it, of course.<br />

Of course... Yes.<br />

Excellent... We look forward to seeing you there.<br />

Yes, Paul... And thank you.<br />

Oh Charlotte... If I could do more... The Spirit is willing... always... Please try<br />

to bel<strong>ie</strong>ve that, Charlotte. It would help you so... The Spirit is always there.<br />

I‘ll show you out, Reverend Clarke.<br />

Yes, Dan<strong>ie</strong>l... And thank you again, Charlotte. You are as considerate as<br />

always... The food was delicious... I give you peace.<br />

Thank you for coming. I‘m sure you have consoled Charlotte.<br />

If only that, Dan<strong>ie</strong>l... By the way, I read your thesis, you know... In College.<br />

Did you? I didn‘t know you were interested in politics.<br />

Oh, when I learned that you were in my parish, Dan<strong>ie</strong>l... You give a unique<br />

position to language, Dan<strong>ie</strong>l... Was that intentional?<br />

150

How do you mean?<br />

I mean within what you called the nexus of politics and culture... You said...<br />

and correct me if I am wrong... that language was ultimately the source... yes,<br />

source... that is the word you used... of both culture and politics.<br />

In a sense. But it must be heavily qualif<strong>ie</strong>d.<br />

In what way?<br />

In the thesis I also said that while it can be asserted that language was primary,<br />

this assertion cannot be proven.<br />

Yes. Yes. I remember that. Because language is absolute?<br />

I didn‘t use that word... I said that language cannot reflect on language.<br />

Yes... That‘s it, Dan<strong>ie</strong>l... So precise... Do you know what I thought after<br />

reading your splendid work?<br />

What did you think, Reverend Clarke?<br />

That your definition of language was an excellent definition of the Logos... Of<br />

the Spirit, Dan<strong>ie</strong>l.<br />

Hhh.<br />

Yes, Dan<strong>ie</strong>l. I have so wanted to make your acquaintance, you know... Your<br />

thesis made me think deeply... It is that sort of work, Dan<strong>ie</strong>l... Thought provoking... I<br />

thought that with your guidance, I might develop your insight in its... mmh…<br />

theological implications.<br />

In the department of political sc<strong>ie</strong>nce?<br />

Oh no... Informally, I mean... I would do some work and you... if you were so<br />

kind... might look it over... you know... test it as it were.<br />

Test it for what? I‘m not a theologian, Reverend Clarke.<br />

Oh no... You misunderstand me... Perhaps this is not the time to discuss such<br />

a... practical matter... Your poor wife... Charlotte... But the secular aspect, as it were...<br />

That would be within your competence, wouldn‘t it?<br />

No doubt... But what if your theology was wrong, Reverend Clarke? There<br />

would be no point in looking at the... as you call it... secular aspect... Would there?<br />

No... I suppose not... But if I could assure you of the probity of the<br />

theological... ah... framework?<br />

Hhh!... Could you?<br />

Mhh?... Why, of course... It would be perfectly straightforward, Dan<strong>ie</strong>l...<br />

There are many authorit<strong>ie</strong>s, you know.<br />

Then why would you need the as you call it secular aspect? It would add<br />

nothing to the theology.<br />

Oh... Yes.<br />

Well, goodnight, Reverend Clarke. Thank you again for coming.<br />

Yes... Of course... But, Dan<strong>ie</strong>l... an interpretation... In the light of modern<br />

knowledge... You know.<br />

Still can‘t see what it would add to Christian theology.<br />

No?<br />

Christian revelation is complete, isn‘t it?<br />

Yes... At least...<br />

There you are. What more do you need?... Goodnight.<br />

Goodnight, Dan<strong>ie</strong>l. And... Goodnight..<br />

Why are you grinning in that wicked way, Dan? What have you done?<br />

Nothing, Lotty... The Reverend Clarke wants to theologise my thesis.<br />

Is there any harm in that, Dan? You should be flattered... Who else has taken<br />

an interest in it?<br />

151

That‘s not the point, Lotty.<br />

He does annoy you.<br />

How do you put up with it?<br />

He means well.<br />

Is that suffic<strong>ie</strong>nt?<br />

Under the circumstances, yes.<br />

But it devalues secular thought!<br />

And it devalues you?... I did find it a help, Dan. Give him credit for that.<br />

Very well, Lotty. I grant that... But there is the other side. The rhetoric might<br />

work, but only by emptying words of their meaning.<br />

But if I remember, Dan, you once said that all religious thought remains<br />

human thought and could be treated as that.<br />

Yes... But he acts as though he speaks under divine inspiration... And that is a<br />

colossal presumption. As far as I am concerned, he negates himself. It is<br />

conventionalised megalomania.<br />

Dan! Someone has to be able to talk about it... It does exist.<br />

You mean theology?<br />

No. Religious feeling... Even you have that.<br />

But expressing it so glibly, Lotty... That even devalues the feeling.<br />

Perhaps for you... You‘re equipped for it. But most people prefer what you<br />

call the glibness... And not just in religious matters. You‘ve said that often enough<br />

too.<br />

Mhhm... Very well, Lotty. But I‘d rather he didn‘t do it to me.<br />

Yes. I appreciate that... Why were you grinning?<br />

I managed to persuade him to go away and make sure of his theology first.<br />

That makes sense. What is so funny about that?<br />

Hhhm... It‘s circular... Don‘t you see? In clarifying it, he is going to use the<br />

secular material to test it. Instead of using theology as a skeleton to hang my thesis<br />

from, he will find himself using my thesis to test his bel<strong>ie</strong>fs... That‘s the only way to<br />

use secular knowledge. It treats dogmas as knowledge, not as revelation.<br />

You want to threaten his faith, Dan?<br />

Why not? What value has it if it is not under threat?<br />

But if you were the cause of Paul‘s loss of faith?<br />

That would merely demonstrate the weakness of his faith... He should know<br />

that.<br />

You call him arrogant, Dan! What you are doing is wrong.<br />

Why do you want him to keep his bel<strong>ie</strong>fs? Do you need to bel<strong>ie</strong>ve that<br />

someone, at least, bel<strong>ie</strong>ves in God?... Well?<br />

I don‘t know... Suddenly... Dan, I‘m sorry I appear to go against you... It will<br />

always be your support that I‘ll want... But, Dan, try to understand... It does work... I<br />

don‘t know how. But it does... I know he is a rather pretentious young man in a<br />

clerical collar. He is an intellectual, as you call that type. His church is a handful of<br />

professional churchgoers... The articles of faith are a vapid syncretism, as you once<br />

said... But something works nonetheless.<br />

It helps you mourn?<br />

Yes, Dan... Don‘t you see? He could talk about death without embarrassment<br />

or fear... In the way a psychologist can deal with insanity...<br />

A social role?<br />

Yes... That‘s it...<br />

And my students bel<strong>ie</strong>ve me for much the same reason?<br />

152

Yes!<br />

What happens to the personal? The individual? I can allow that to the extent<br />

that the individual cannot cope with an exper<strong>ie</strong>nce, such as death... or God... that<br />

some social conventions could help. But is that true of all exper<strong>ie</strong>nces?<br />

Individuals might be powerless... As in politics.<br />

Yes. That is astute of you, Lotty.<br />

Children?<br />

You mean marriage.<br />

Yes.<br />

But not all parents are marr<strong>ie</strong>d.<br />

I agree... Perhaps they can cope... Or else their understanding of what is<br />

involved is limited.<br />

Where is the individual in all this, Lotty?<br />

I don‘t know... Where is he... or she?<br />

Well, take language, for instance. Without speakers and listeners there is no<br />

language. Right? Yet language does seem to transcend any particular individual at any<br />

time. Even so, language cannot be located in actuality other than in individuals...<br />

Mmm?<br />

Put it this way, language is social, but it is instanced only in individuals.<br />

What does that imply?<br />

No soc<strong>ie</strong>ty without the individuals who make soc<strong>ie</strong>ty possible. Yet soc<strong>ie</strong>ty<br />

utterly transcends all its individual constituents at any moment.<br />

And?<br />

As with language, one cannot strictly speaking reflect upon soc<strong>ie</strong>ty... because<br />

soc<strong>ie</strong>ty is necessarily greater than you... No thought can get outside soc<strong>ie</strong>ty, no more<br />

than it can get outside language.<br />

They seem to be the same thing, Dan.<br />

In some says, yes.<br />

Interesting... Oh. I must feed Brian. He hasn‘t been fed for eight hours... where<br />

is he?<br />

In the kitchen.<br />

Of course... I remember... He was asleep when I went in to make those<br />

sandwiches... He‘s awake... Hello.<br />

Hello, old son.<br />

He is very pat<strong>ie</strong>nt.<br />

Who does he get that from?<br />

Not me... You<br />

Me?<br />

Of course... I‘ll take him upstairs, Dan... I want to rest and... well... brood, 1<br />

suppose.<br />

I‘ll come up soon... I‘ll read for a while.<br />

Good evening... My name is Richard Butler.<br />

Mister Butler. Yes. Your brother rang... This way... The weather has<br />

improved, hasn‘t it?<br />

Any change would be an improvement...<br />

153

Misses MacLane, Mister Butler. You‘re right. It‘s been a terrible summer...<br />

What is it like in London?<br />

Much the same, I‘m afraid.<br />

Here you are... I‘ve given you the room in the front. It‘s not noisy, and you‘11<br />

get the sun in the morning... I find it cheering... Your brother said you were staying<br />

for a week?<br />

At least that, Misses MacLane.<br />

Good... What time would you want your breakfast at?<br />

Nineish?<br />

Yes. That will be fine... You‘re the only guest, so you needn‘t rush in the<br />

morning.<br />

Thank you. I understand.<br />

You will want a key?... I‘ll leave one on the hallstand for you.<br />

Thank you.<br />

Monday Rathmines.<br />

Perhaps it is the weather, but there is a pervasive air of unreality about<br />

Dublin. I don‘t feel that because I‘ve just arrived. I‘ve landed in D.L. at other<br />

times and exper<strong>ie</strong>nced an overwhelming intimacy with the place.<br />

Coming in on the bus, when I closed my eyes I felt as though I was<br />

travelling utterly alone – even the bus seemed abstracted. Then I‘d open my<br />

eyes and see the lanes of cars and see the houses and the familiar sights of the<br />

Pigeon Rouse, the port and Howth head.<br />

Tonight I ate in a fast food place in Raths. There was green, red and<br />

white neon inside and out. The walls were tiled and they gleamed garishly.<br />

Nonstop pop music was much too loud. People — mostly young in the now<br />

fashionable grey zip jackets and grey cords. All grey. They talked, laughed —<br />

they took an interest in what they ordered — mexican, texan, burgers, pizzas,<br />

ice cream, salads, chips. Yet — the more intense the loud music, the flashing<br />

neon colour, the interaction of the people, the more unreal it was. It was<br />

impossible to imagine what the rest of the world might be like — yesterday‘s<br />

journey seemed to have been a fantasy — nor could I imagine these people in<br />

any other context: not at home, at work, angry, loving, stupid, or bright.<br />

Is that what it is? Does this youth find something wrong or lacking in<br />

what I would, at their age, have called the world? Or is their ‗world‘ very<br />

different?<br />

Dan?<br />

Yes... I thought you were asleep.<br />

Dozing... Are you coming in?<br />

Yes.<br />

Good.. .Dan?<br />

Mmm?<br />

Are we in danger?<br />

What?<br />

154

I mean after this afternoon... Fosters Avenue was searched. I‘m positive of<br />

that... Something to do with Tom Spencer.<br />

And the crash?<br />

Yes... What can we do?<br />

Hang on... See what happens.<br />

Is that all?<br />

For the moment... But don‘t worry. We‘re not directly involved.<br />

But mother, Dan... She might have been murdered,<br />

Yes... I know.<br />

We can‘t let them get away with that... The police.<br />

If anyone knows, they do, Lotty.<br />

What can we do?<br />

I don‘t know yet... Let‘s think about it... Ahhh... A busy day.<br />

Dan?<br />

Yes?<br />

Make love to me... Gently... As you did last week.<br />

Yes...<br />

It‘s strange, Dan, but mother doesn‘t seem quite so dead to me now.<br />

Oh... I‘m glad he helped, you know.<br />

Not that, Dan... She didn‘t d<strong>ie</strong> on me... Senselessly, I mean... Her life was<br />

taken from her.<br />

And that makes a difference?<br />

Yes, It does... Uhh... Oh... Dan...<br />

Sweetheart...<br />

Darling... Darling...<br />

TUESDAY<br />

Good morning, Mister Butler.<br />

Good morning, Misses MacLane.<br />

The weather has improved... Do you want a full breakfast?<br />

Yes... It‘s still very windy.<br />

It‘s been like that since June... Will you sit here... Yes... And help yourself to<br />

cereal.<br />

Mrs MacLane: black hair, neatly curled, not permed — she puts curlers<br />

in at night — a public image: grey eyes — not so public: open but not frank;<br />

watchful but not nosey — defensive: full figured but repressed by her clothes:<br />

her legs are as slim as a girl‘s: the girl who brought the rest of the breakfast in<br />

was a younger version of her, with the same balanced carefulness; watchful —<br />

curious about me but not the slightest bit forward: heard at least two other<br />

155

children downstairs: the girl who served me about sixteen or seventeen; others<br />

younger: So Mrs MacLane has at least three children — yet she behaves as<br />

though she is a virgin: which she is in a way: inside her maternal body there is<br />

an innocent child who has never had the opportunity to develop: womanhood<br />

has been imposed on her by social convention; but the tragedy is not this, but<br />

that if she had been given the freedom to develop herself, she would not have<br />

known how — she could never recognise her freedom: she would see it only<br />

as a blank, a void: no doubt she has seen this, and has pulled back into the<br />

security of convention.<br />

You‘re awake. I‘ve brought you some tea and toast. What time is it?<br />

Half ten... I‘m going to do some work.<br />

A good idea... What have you arranged about mother?<br />

Oh, I didn‘t tell you... I rang Hamilton‘s...<br />

Good... I wasn‘t sure if you knew who to ring... Not that it matters.<br />

Well, they will bring your mother‘s body down from Sligo today... The funeral<br />

will be tomorrow morning.<br />

Yes.<br />

We can go to their mortuary this evening... After six... Will we?<br />

We ought to, Dan... We should pay our respects.<br />

I thought so.<br />

It‘s a formality, I know... But it seems to help... That‘s mourning.<br />

There will be no one else there... Oh, I put a notice in the Irish Times. It<br />

should be in this morning‘s edition. I said no flowers and that the funeral would be<br />

private... I think that is best.<br />

Yes. It is... Mother didn‘t have any close fr<strong>ie</strong>nds that I know of.<br />

How do you feel?<br />

Oh, fine, Dan... I‘m getting used to the fact.<br />

Good... You are handling it well.<br />

And you?<br />

It‘s a bit unfocused... You know what I mean... There seems to be more to it<br />

than your mother‘s death.<br />

You mean the cause? Yes, Do you think you ought to ring that guard?... Ask<br />

him about it?<br />

I don‘t think so, Lotty. I don‘t want to have him nosing around... If there is<br />

something in it, then the police will follow it up... Rest if you want to... There will be<br />

nothing to do until this evening.<br />

I will... Thanks for this... Oh, Dan!<br />

What is it?<br />

You should ring Tony Hackett... He should have news for you.<br />

It‘s hardly important at the moment, Lotty.<br />

But it is, Dan... You went to the trouble of asking him to do it... You should<br />

ring him now.<br />

He may not be back yet.<br />

Try anyway…<br />

156

Partment of the Envirnmont,<br />

May I speak to Anthony Hackett please.<br />

Hold on... Hello?<br />

Yes.<br />

Mister Hackett is not available,<br />

Oh, do you know where he is? Has he come back?<br />

I don‘t know, Hold on... Hello?<br />

Yes.<br />

He‘s not available... That‘s all I know,<br />

Okay... thanks anyway...<br />

Goodbye.<br />

Bewley‘s: they‘ve moved the serving area, which has improved the<br />

room: this used to be a kind of seedy backroom — I suppose because it was<br />

(still is) exposed to the noise of the buses in Fleet Street: but I thought it had<br />

the most character — now the wood carving is all of a unit; the room has been<br />

painted and better lit.<br />

Crowd much the same — two middle aged women, finding a free table<br />

in an otherwise crowded room, said ‗They must have known we were<br />

coming,‘ — There is so much in that: seen from the outside, people exhibit,<br />

even in the most ordinary circumstances, so much faith, trust, naiveté: I realise<br />

that anything could happen to anyone at any moment —and yet things go on<br />

in, on the large scale, an orderly manner. Think of Dublin just now — a<br />

million people — the whole entity does cohere, despite the feelings etc of its<br />

individual inhabitants. (Reminds me: that morning after the Christmas holiday<br />

— in London — I was struck by the fact that about nine millions got up and<br />

started the same old routine —and wondered if it was possible for people to go<br />

so far away from the ordinary routines as to forget/or not want or care to pick<br />

them up when that cold morning came. Obviously not. Perhaps there is no<br />

where else to go — the people here are immersed in what they are doing —<br />

after their coffee they will return to their work or go shopping, without<br />

exper<strong>ie</strong>ncing any great wrench between the momentary release and<br />

intoxication of caffeine and the brute resistance of their ordinary tasks. There<br />

must be a profound trust or faith in each individual which bridges the gap<br />

between release and labour. And it‘s not simply a faith in God or anything as<br />

explicit as that — it is at the level of exper<strong>ie</strong>nce, not of thought or awareness.<br />

That Frege should say that a thought is grasped as discovery and not as<br />

creation follows on what he has said about the objectivity of thought. But to<br />

say that a thought is already ordered in its parts seems to raise once again the<br />

problem of relationship, that is, the problem of the one and the many, of<br />

sameness and difference.<br />

But here, at the level of the analysis of thought, F has changed<br />

perspective. In order to undertake a logical analysis of thought, he perceives it<br />

in two ways:<br />

157

1. as an object<br />

2. as semantic form.<br />

Frege holds, against the theory that knowledge is gained by ostension,<br />

that sensibility in not necessary for knowledge of objects. For F, the thought<br />

itself is the paradigmatic object. Thus to say that the thought is trite and<br />

objective is to say that the thought is the object. Access to thought is<br />

simultaneously access to objects.<br />

This v<strong>ie</strong>w accords with what F has said about thought in the context<br />

of‘ Reason. But it is clear that ‗objectivity‘ and ‗object‘ are distinct terms. The<br />

objectivity of the thought does not reside in the fact that the thought is an<br />

object. Instead, what is said of the thought appl<strong>ie</strong>s also to the object, that it is<br />

true and objective. This ‗object‘ is another metaphor, along with ‗thought‘,<br />

‗truth‘, and ‗objectivity‘.<br />

In this case, it is obvious that the equation of ‗thought‘ and ‗object‘ is<br />

not open to analysis, for the same reasons that ‗thought‘, ‗truth‘ and<br />

‗objectivity‘ were not open to analysis. All that can be said is that whatever is<br />

referred to by these metaphorical terms is present — in F‘s account, present to<br />

Reason.<br />

However, Frege says more about ‗object‘ than he does about the other<br />

metaphors. He says that an expression ‗standing for‘ an object is a ‗proper<br />

name‘. Now, to the extent that an expression ‗standing for‘ an object is not the<br />

same as equating ‗thought‘ and ‗object‘, it would seem that Frege is here<br />

talking about a different kind of object, something connected more with actual<br />

objects than with objectivity and truth of the thought/ object.<br />

It might be argued in F‘s defence that Frege is here taking up the<br />

question of the ‗object‘ at another level. That is, that the equation of thought<br />

and object is an epistemological matter, while the relation of ‗standing for‘<br />

between an expression and an object is a matter of logical analysis. But this,<br />

though it is a plausible contention, merely begs the question, What connection<br />

is there between the epistemological argument and the logical one? Frege<br />

nowhere describes such a connection; moreover, strictly speaking such a<br />

connection is impossible, for the epistemological argument is a self-referring<br />

abstraction: knowledge is discovered in thought, and thought is only true and<br />

objective and present in or to Reason. The logical analysis is not concerned<br />

with the question of knowledge, only with the characteristics of that<br />

knowledge as it is ‗grasped‘ by individual minds.<br />

For this reason, it is clear that the question of the connection between<br />

the objects for which expressions stand and the objects that are equated with<br />

thoughts must be explained unilaterally. More, it must be explained at the<br />

level of logical analysis; indeed, as is obvious, it can be explained only at this<br />

level.<br />

What does Frege mean by ‗logic‘? He writes: ‗...the word ―true‖ seems<br />

to make possible the impossible, namely, to make that which corresponds to<br />

the assertive force appear to be contributing to the thought. And this attempt,<br />

though it fails —or, mere correctly, because it fails — points to what is<br />

peculiar to logic.‘<br />

What is peculiar to logic? That it is an assertion which, while it<br />

indicates the fundamental nature of thought — its truth (and hence objectivity)<br />

— at the same time it has no connection with thought, that is, it adds nothing<br />

to the thought. It is clear that this logic tells us nothing about the truthfulness<br />

158

of the thought — it cannot, for the thought is true because it is a thought. Nor<br />

does it analyse the thought, for the parts of the thought are already ordered.<br />

This means that the object of logic is not thought itself.<br />

Instead, logic is an assertion: it asserts something which corresponds to<br />

the word ‗true‘. But, as has been seen in part (I) above, a judgement is also an<br />

assertion. Judgement asserts that the true is independent of our recognition of<br />

the true. Thus logic and judgement are two sides of the same coin. Both are<br />

concerned with the parallel between the recognition of the truth of the thought<br />

and the independence of thought from that recognition. Judgement is grounded<br />

in this distinction; it makes judgement both possible and necessary. At the<br />

same time, it is the ground of the failure of logic: it at once demonstrates the<br />

limitations of logic and reveals its peculiar power — its capacity to assert the<br />

truth independently of the thought itself. Thus logic is the capacity of<br />

individual human beings to ‗witness‘ the truth of thought, and judgement is<br />

the concomitant capacity to be aware of the objectivity of thought. If these<br />

characteristics are true, then the relation between logic and judgement is<br />

similar to the relation which holds between truth and objectivity — they are<br />

metaphorical descriptions of one human capacity. This capacity can be<br />

generally termed the ability to respond to the presence of thought. That is, it is<br />

the point at which individual minds connect with Mind or Reason.<br />

But more particularly, it can be said that logic and judgement are the<br />

same thing: thus logic is the process of judgement—making, while judgement<br />

is an instance of logical activity.<br />

However, though logic-judgement is a purely human capacity to assert<br />

the truth of the thought independently of that thought, it would appear to<br />

possess the characteristics of thought. According to Frege, it is the notion of<br />

truth which distinguishes logic from psychology. So, to the extent that logical<br />

assertion is true, it must also be objective. Specifically, Frege says that logic<br />

deals with truth by means of laws of right inference, laws which are<br />

independent of our recognition of them. That is, the laws of logic are true and<br />

objective in precisely the same way that thought is. Thus it seems that ‗logic‘<br />

is little more than another metaphor for thought, as ‗objectivity‘, ‗truth‘ and<br />

‗object‘ are. But logic has one feature which saves it from such an<br />

identification: it is the peculiarity of logic that it fails at a crucial point —<br />

logical assertion contributes nothing to the thought, even though it is about the<br />

thought.<br />

Now, it is noteworthy that while logic possesses the characteristics of<br />

thought, Frege can point to an indubitable human exper<strong>ie</strong>nce concerning logic,<br />

one which is self-evident. Broadly, for a statement to be judged true, it need<br />

not contain the word ‗true‘, nor will it require the addition of the word ‗true‘ in<br />

order to make it true. This means that logic both possesses characteristics<br />

which identify it with thought, specifically ‗truth‘, and at the same time is<br />

distinct from it, a distinction which appears in the failure of logic.<br />

This dual nature of logic is formally analogous with the dual nature of<br />

‗object‘ indicated above. On one hand, ‗object‘ is identical with ‗thought‘, but<br />

on the other hand, it is also what an expression ‗stands for‘. Does Frege<br />

indicate an element of failure or inadequacy here too? This question can be<br />

investigated in two ways:<br />

1. The same object is being referred to.<br />

2. At least two objects are involved.<br />

159

If the same object is being referred to, then it is appearing in different<br />

ways, epistemologically and logically. But to the extent that ‗object‘ is<br />

identical with thought, it is not amenable to logical analysis. If it is amenable<br />

to logical analysis, then it is not identical with thought. But Frege does say that<br />

the thought is the paradigmatic object. Therefore, the ‗object‘ must relate to<br />

logic in the same way that logic relates to thought, in a duality of selfreference,<br />

as true etc, and as an indubitable human exper<strong>ie</strong>nce of failure.<br />

Now, the exceptional — exceptional in comparison with thought, truth<br />

and objectivity — feature of ‗object‘ is that an expression ‗stands for‘ the<br />

object. Further, an expression standing for the object in this way is a ‗proper<br />

name‘. Therefore, the exceptional feature of ‗object‘ is that it can be instanced<br />

in human language, for clearly an expression which is a ‗proper name‘ is a<br />

linguistic expression, not a gesture or symbolic representation. This means that<br />

if ‗object‘ appears in a ‗mode of failure‘ it does so in the context of human<br />

language.<br />

Is human language a ‗mode of failure‘? According to Frege it is. For<br />

him, the very existence of logic, and its power to assert a truth distinct from<br />

thought, arises because of the inadequacy of human language. If a perfectly<br />

logical language were possible, Frege continues,<br />

Sergeant Sheehy.<br />

Doctor White, Hello, I‘m sorry to intrude on you again... Can I speak to you?<br />

Oh... Yes. Come in... In here... I‘ll call my wife.<br />

No!... No, Doctor White... Don‘t disturb her. It‘s a difficult time, God knows...<br />

Would you like to sit?<br />

No... I won‘t be a moment... You visited Missus Jameson‘s house in Mount<br />

Merrion yesterday.<br />

Yes.<br />

And you took some items away with you?<br />

Yes... The house is unoccup<strong>ie</strong>d, as you know. I bel<strong>ie</strong>ve Misses Jameson‘s<br />

death... and Mister Spencer‘s of course... were broadcast on the radio... I thought the<br />

house might be burgled.<br />

Ah yes... That was sharp thinking of you, Doctor White.<br />

We took the moveable valuables... Television... stereo... the silver... Money,<br />

jewellery... and her private papers.<br />

Yes.<br />

I intend giving Misses Jameson‘s solicitor an inventory... and inviting him to<br />

check personally.<br />

Yes... Yes. That‘s a good precaution, Doctor White... But I expect your wife...<br />

She is the sole heir?<br />

I think so. But even so, you know,<br />

Keep it legal? Yes... I understand that... By the way...<br />

Do you want to see what we took, Sergeant?<br />

Oh no... No... I thought you might have seen... anything unusual?<br />

The house has been searched, is that what you mean?<br />

Good God no.<br />

160

It was anyway... Why?<br />

You‘re sure?<br />

Almost certain, One of the searchers... at least... smoked.<br />

Yes... Then... I expect it was part of the enquiry... . Not Missus Jameson...<br />

No... Mister Spencer.<br />

Why?<br />

Oh, I expect they were following a line of enquiry, Doctor White... It‘s done<br />

sometimes,<br />

Obviously nothing was found.<br />

I can‘t say, Doctor White.<br />

Mmm... Why did you tell me that the ar you cee had logged the time they<br />

crossed the Border, Sergeant?<br />

Ah...<br />

It wasn‘t necessary, you know... Why did you put it that way?<br />

There was no special reason, Doctor White... That was part of the report.<br />

I don‘t bel<strong>ie</strong>ve you, Sergeant.<br />

Have it your own way, Doctor.<br />

Why have you come today?... Mmmm?...<br />

To see why you went to Missus Jameson‘s house... But what you did was<br />

right, Doctor... Legal.<br />

No, Sergeant... You wanted to see my response to something... You suspect<br />

I‘m part of Mister Spencer‘s game, don‘t you?<br />

Game, Doctor White? What sort of game?<br />

How did the accident happen?<br />

The report said the car ran off the road at high speed... It went on fire.<br />

You didn‘t tell me that on Saturday.<br />

I thought it might upset your wife... Unnecessarily, I mean.<br />

That was considerate, Sergeant. Thank you... But why did it run off the road?<br />

They think a burst tyre, Doctor... He was driving too fast for that road... I‘d<br />

say he was a fast driver anyway.<br />

He was... But he wasn‘t a careless driver, Sergeant... Tell me frankly, were<br />

they murdered?<br />

Doctor... There‘s no evidence for that, Don‘t go speculating like that... There‘s<br />

just no evidence,<br />

But you think Spencer was up to something... Was he some kind of spy?<br />

I doubt it... Look, Doctor, I‘ll tell you this in confidence... to stop you<br />

worrying... My section investigates any unusual incident in the Border area... just in<br />

case... We must check on everything.<br />

So you have no reason to bel<strong>ie</strong>ve Spencer was spying or anything?<br />

No... Our enquir<strong>ie</strong>s are almost finished.<br />

Then why did the ar you cee escort him to the Border, Sergeant?... Look,<br />

Sergeant, this is getting paranoid. You told me about the ar you cee to alert me to<br />

something... that is, if I was part of Spencer‘s game... Now Spencer got an escort to<br />

the Border, but he get no escort in the South, That suggests that while the northern<br />

police had an interest in him, the southern police had not... I think the eye ar aye or<br />

some group like that caused that accident. They either followed him over the border,<br />

knowing that he would not be protected, or else they lay in wait for him on that read...<br />

What do you say to that?... Why I say all this is because I am annoyed that my wife‘s<br />

mother should d<strong>ie</strong> so needlessly... It has upset my wife very deeply... You can<br />

appreciate that, Sergeant.<br />

161

Yes... Well... It‘s a fine theory, Doctor White. But there‘s no evidence... We<br />

asked the err you cee if they knew when the car crossed the Border and they gave us a<br />

time. It‘s about what we reckoned, they could have made it up in the same way. Or<br />

they could have logged it during a random check, or because it was a distinctive car or<br />

because it had Dublin plates... But there is no evidence that they escorted the car to<br />

the Border...<br />

Are you sure, Sergeant? The ar you cee...<br />

No. We can‘t ask them, Doctor White... Look, I did call here to see how you‘d<br />

react to the question about visiting Missus Jameson‘s house. You were quick to guess<br />

that, I can tell you that your reaction satisf<strong>ie</strong>d me... There... That‘s the end of our<br />

enquir<strong>ie</strong>s.<br />

But the crash, Sergeant...<br />

There‘s no evidence, Doctor... None whatsoever... I know how you feel. But<br />

there‘s no one to blame.<br />

Yes, I see what you mean.<br />

Good... I‘ll go now, I won‘t be bothering you again... I‘m sorry for the two or<br />

you. I know how the two of you feel. Neither of you have parents now...<br />

You checked on me, Sergeant?<br />

Yes. We have to check everything, Doctor. But it‘s no harm. Don‘t worry...<br />

I‘ll go now,<br />

I‘ll show you out,<br />

Yes... And don‘t go thinking like that, Doctor White, You‘ll have nothing to<br />

show for it except... Oh... Missus White... I‘ll go... Goodbye, Missus White. My<br />

condolences again... Goodbye, Doctor. Sorry to be such a nuisance.<br />

Goodbye, Sergeant.<br />

Goodbye, Sergeant.<br />

What did he want?<br />

He wanted to know why we went ever to Fosters Avenue. I told him. He<br />

seemed satisf<strong>ie</strong>d.<br />

He looked upset, Dan.<br />

Yes, he‘s a surprisingly soft man for a policemen... I asked him about the<br />

crash again.<br />

And?<br />

They have no evidence... I think he told the truth, Lotty.<br />

But it could still be true? I mean they could well have been murdered.<br />

Be said that there was no point in thinking like that... I think he is right,<br />

Lotty... Oh, Lotty.<br />

Dan... Dan... It seems to get worse every time it comes back... I feel so<br />

helpless.<br />

Oh Lotty, it doesn‘t make any difference... The fact remains.<br />

But it didn‘t seem so bad.<br />

I know... But you will have to face the fact.<br />

Oh, you can talk... Dan, it‘s so hard!<br />

I know... Oh Lotty... Try to face it... please.<br />

I do try, Dan... In the middle of the night... while I‘m feeding Brian... I look at<br />

it and look at it...<br />

Oh, here... Sweetheart, oh, sweetheart... Yes. Do cry...<br />

Oh, oh, Dan... Oh, Dan... Oh, Dan! It‘s so awful!<br />

There now, sweetheart... there now... Give it time.<br />

162

Snff!... Yes... I do... But sometimes, Dan... It just overwhelms me... I‘m<br />

sorry...<br />

No... It‘s alright.<br />

I‘m such a drain on you.<br />

It can‘t be helped.<br />

I‘ll go back upstairs... Let you get on with your notes.<br />

Oh, that‘s just to pass the time, Lotty... Stay down here if you want.<br />

No... I‘ll go up and rest... You carry on here... Call me at six, won‘t you?<br />

Yes... And try to sleep, Lotty.<br />

Yes, Dan... I will.<br />

these semantic considerations would he unnecessary. As it is, in<br />

utterances of ordinary human language a distinction must be made between<br />

the psychological intentions and associations of the speaker and listener, and<br />

the actual objective content of the utterance itself: what F sees as a distinction<br />

between the ‗illumination‘ surrounding a word or sentence, and the<br />

‗colouring‘ it possesses for the speaker and the listener as subjective,<br />

associative psychological features which have no place in a language of pure<br />

thought.<br />

Oh damn, damn, damn!<br />

Hello, mother.<br />

Dick!... Jim told me you were in Dublin, I was talking to him on the phone last<br />

night... How are you? You look well.<br />

No complaints... Come in here, Dick... Isn‘t the sun lovely?... Is it as bad in<br />

London?<br />

Very nearly.<br />

And it‘s so hard to get out there.<br />

I look pale?<br />

You always do, Dick. You should try to got out in the air every day... Jim says<br />

you live beside the Downs, near the racecourse. You should go out there every<br />

morning.<br />

I go out at the weekends, mother. You should come over. You‘d like it. There<br />

are footpaths through the countryside in every direction.<br />

So Jim told me... Have you had lunch?<br />

I had an Irish breakfast. You know, bacon, sausage and the rest.<br />

You‘re staying in a guesthouse?<br />

Yes.<br />

You could stay here, Dick.<br />

No. I‘d rather stay there. It‘s only a short visit.<br />

163

What are you doing now? Are you still writing?<br />

Yes. I‘ve just finished another novel.<br />

Jim said that no one would take the last one.<br />

It‘s too long, mother.<br />

You should know what they want by now... Will you have a salad? The<br />

tomatoes are beautiful this summer.<br />

Okay. Let me help. I‘ll lay the table...<br />

Did Jim tell you they were expecting another child?<br />

Yes, He seems very happy about it.<br />

They‘re going to have four. Anne wants four.<br />

It‘s good that the children are wanted.<br />

You should have marr<strong>ie</strong>d, Dick... Jim is very happy.<br />

It‘s what he wants, mother.<br />

And what do you want? You never seemed to know.<br />

To write... Isn‘t that enough?<br />

But it‘s so lonely... I know you have that girl living with you, Dick. But it‘s<br />

not the same thing. You can‘t settle to that.<br />

I don‘t want to settle to it, mother. It suits us well enough as it is.<br />

Doesn‘t she want to marry?<br />

She hasn‘t said so, mother.<br />

And would you?<br />

I haven‘t had to think about it.<br />

Sit down now... I‘ll make tea... Take some beetroot... You‘re so rootless, Dick.<br />

I don‘t know where you get that from.<br />

I‘m not that rootless, mother. I lived in Streatham for seven years. I‘ve been in<br />

Epsom now for over two years. Jim has changed houses as much.<br />

That was because of the children... No. You are not settled.<br />

Oh mother, I don‘t want to settle, as you call it.<br />

Hhhssh.<br />

What about yourself? ... You‘ve had the house decorated<br />

Yes. Peggy‘s husband got someone to do it. He did a good job. Especially on<br />

the outside. He repaired all the putty in the windows.<br />

You don‘t find the house too big now, do you?<br />

I don‘t use most of the rooms. But the house is old, Dick. In a few years time<br />

it will need another overhaul.<br />

Yes. Perhaps you should sell it and buy a smaller house. A bungalow.<br />

I keep saying I‘ll do that.<br />

You‘ve said it for years... Ever since I was ten.<br />

And you wouldn‘t move. Do you remember that? And your father didn‘t want<br />

to move either. He said it was close to town.<br />

Would you move now? Jim should know some estate agent. You could<br />

arrange for him to get you a smaller house as well as selling this one.<br />

I‘ll think about it.<br />

Do you still do the yoga?<br />

A little. They do the exercises to music now. Some of the women are so<br />

clumsy. No rhythm at all.<br />

You enjoy it?<br />

Yes<br />

You do look fit.<br />

I do it twice a week... Do you want another tomato?<br />

164

No. They are nice, as you say... No. I‘ll get the teapot... How is Bob? Do you<br />

still see him?<br />

Yes. We go out about twice a week. Sometimes we go for a drive on<br />

Sundays... No. I‘m not going to marry him, Dick. He‘s a good fr<strong>ie</strong>nd, that‘s all. I want<br />

no one else to take your father‘s place.<br />

That‘s fair enough, mother. I was curious.<br />

I‘m not lonely, if that‘s what you‘re thinking.<br />

And neither am I...<br />

What‘s the novel about?<br />

It‘s set in anc<strong>ie</strong>nt Ireland. it‘s about an invasion.<br />

You mean the Normans?<br />

No. Earl<strong>ie</strong>r than that. It‘s only known about from legend.<br />

You write such funny stor<strong>ie</strong>s, Dick. You have a good imagination... Why<br />

don‘t you write about Dublin?<br />

Because I have nothing to write about Dublin, mother. Anyway, the last time I<br />

showed you stor<strong>ie</strong>s set in Dublin, you said you didn‘t enjoy them because you felt you<br />

knew everything about them already.<br />

I mean something imaginative.<br />

A romance?<br />

You‘re not romantic, Dick.<br />

Exciting then? About the eye ar aye?<br />

No. Not political. Don‘t write anything political, Dick... No one likes that sort<br />

of thing. It‘s too dangerous.<br />

Well then, what‘s wrong with anc<strong>ie</strong>nt Ireland?<br />

It‘s not that, Dick. It‘s the way you write. You don‘t allow the reader to settle<br />

down.<br />

Yes... That‘s because there‘s nothing to settle down to, mother.<br />

Is that what you bel<strong>ie</strong>ve, Dick? Is it the atom bomb? You used to talk about<br />

that.<br />

Not that. But a lot of people move about. They always have... I like moving<br />

about.<br />

You must be easily bored then.<br />

Actually, I think that is it, mother. Boredom.<br />

You have too many things, Dick. Not just you. Your generation... I was<br />

always afraid for you... and for Jim. It was more complicated for you. Jim found his<br />

way through it... But God help this new generation. It‘s even worse for them. They‘re<br />

being turned into adults before they are ten. They‘ll have nothing at all to hold on to.<br />

I know what you mean.<br />

We had fewer things, Dick. And simpler bel<strong>ie</strong>fs. Family. Providing for the<br />

children. The cinema once a week. A party on a birthday. We had private lives... Now<br />

the whole world pours into everyone‘s home every night of the week. What do<br />

ordinary people want with the whole world like that?<br />

I knew a woman in Donegal. When they got television for the first tine, she<br />

looked at it for one night. Then she said that it was like the yo-yo... it fooled the<br />

world... She never watched it again.<br />

What did she do instead?<br />

Sing to herself and look at the wall ... I assume that‘s what she did before the<br />

television came... No... She once said that no one came raking any more... Apparently<br />

they would visit one another‘s houses and talk for hours... She looked at the wall<br />

because she was bored... She sang because she was bored.<br />

165

What do you do in the evenings, Dick?<br />

Watch television. Sometimes we go out. But I usually read at the same time...<br />

Ang<strong>ie</strong> talks if she gets the opportunity.<br />

That doesn‘t bore you?<br />

No. Not if I have done something satisfying during the day.<br />

That‘s strange, Dick...<br />

What is?<br />

I never thought of you as living such a qu<strong>ie</strong>t life... You write about such...<br />

No... What you write is so unsettling... How you tell your stor<strong>ie</strong>s... They give the<br />

impression that you are restless... Almost.<br />

Almost what?<br />

It‘s hard to find the right word, Dick.<br />

Yes... isn‘t it?<br />

How do you mean?... You do know what I‘m talking about, don‘t you?<br />

Yes.<br />

How do you describe it?<br />

To find the right word you would have to enter the world I describe.<br />

Yes!<br />

That has always been my intention, mother.<br />

No wonder they won‘t publish your work, Dick.<br />

Oh no... That‘s not the reason, mother... It was too long. I knew that myself.<br />

But that‘s how it came out... The first novel was accepted without much trouble.<br />

But that was a straight-forward story.<br />

Yes... But in fact it is also in some ways the most potent<br />

Why?<br />

How it came to be written.<br />

How do you mean?<br />

I wrote a number of short stor<strong>ie</strong>s over a period of about five years. Then about<br />

a year after I had finished them... and I was aware that I had finished them... as a<br />

cycle... I suddenly got the idea of rearranging them in chronological order of the main<br />

character‘s life. That order was completely different to the order in which I had<br />

written them... They fitted together perfectly... I analysed that... I couldn‘t bel<strong>ie</strong>ve it...<br />

But the thematic development was there... I learned so many new things from that<br />

analysis... You see, mother. I couldn‘t write the story out in full... Either I hadn‘t the<br />

confidence or the nerve. So it was written in a fragmentary way, so I wouldn‘t have to<br />

face the true meaning of all those stor<strong>ie</strong>s as a whole.<br />

What is the true meaning, Dick?... I read the book.<br />

I know... Two things, mother. Do you remember how you reacted to the first<br />

parts? I had brought the book over to you... You were scornful because everything in<br />

them seemed so familiar. But I pointed out that you had never exper<strong>ie</strong>nced those<br />

familiar things in that order until you read them in my work.<br />

Yes. I remember.<br />

You suddenly realised that I had created another world out of those familiar<br />

things. Yes?<br />

Yes.<br />

You got an awful jolt.<br />

I remember.<br />

You suddenly understood what creativity is. So many people think it is a way<br />

of describing a common world... The English do... But you suddenly saw that it<br />

actually creates another world... A new world.<br />

166

Yes.<br />

But I didn‘t know that either, mother... I mean while I wrote the stor<strong>ie</strong>s. But<br />

when I put them together I saw that new world. Not at first... The analysis forced me<br />

to see it... And then to see that I had put myself in that world.<br />

You?<br />

Yes, mother... Creativity creates a new world for somebody... Most of all for<br />

the writer... And for the reader, but only to the extent that the reader allows himself or<br />

herself to actually enter that world.. .That‘s the other meaning, mother... I created a<br />

new world and I found that it was my world... You don‘t like that world, sure you<br />

don‘t?<br />

No, Dick... But I told you that after I read the book... It‘s so...<br />

Yes?<br />

No…You‘re right, Dick. I can‘t say what it is... Can you?<br />

Yes... But you won‘t bel<strong>ie</strong>ve it... It‘s a free world.<br />

Free? What do you mean?<br />

I set out to discover my world... Not many do that, mother... I‘m not<br />

boasting... It‘s because it‘s my world that it is free... No, I didn‘t choose it... That‘s<br />

not freedom... I discovered it... as the truth... It‘s free because it is true... That‘s why<br />

it‘s not simply chosen... The choice... the decision is made at the beginning. After that<br />

there is no choice... No freedom of choice... only the search for the truth I choose to<br />

seek.<br />

And what is the truth, Dick?<br />

Don‘t be annoyed with me, mother. I‘m not boasting... The truth is a particular<br />

truth, mother... This truth is me... That‘s all... me... Richard Butler... Everyone...<br />

obviously... has such a truth... But not everyone seeks it.<br />

But what is the truth, Dick?<br />

That I am free.<br />

Hardly... You‘re no better off than I am.<br />

No. Not that... What is it you most disliked about the novel? At the end?<br />

The coldness... That horrible loneliness, Dick... I told you then.<br />

That‘s the truth, mother... That‘s freedom. You can never escape yourself.<br />

Why do you think like that, Dick? You were happy as a child. Everyone<br />

remarked what a close family we were. How could you become so lonely after that?<br />

Family is only one part of childhood, mother... Anyway, a child is never just a<br />

child of someone... I wasn‘t just your eldest son, mother. I was also me.<br />

But you were happy, Dick.<br />

Yes, Very happy... But I could also be unhappy then.<br />

Yes... Yes,<br />

You knew that?<br />

Yes I did... It used to make me afraid for you. Sometimes I wondered what we<br />

had done... Having you and Jim... Is that why you have never marr<strong>ie</strong>d?<br />

Children?... Yes, They are an impossible responsibility. But it‘s not<br />

fundamental... We probably do worse things every day.<br />

How do you mean?<br />

Eating, for instance... In order that we live, we must kill other things... Not just<br />

animals... Plants... like the tomatoes, for instance, I‘ve just destroyed the freedom of<br />

two tomatoes so I can sustain my own freedom,<br />

We have to live, Dick,<br />

Have to?<br />

We have to survive... Don‘t deny that now,<br />

167

But always at a price, mother, Every day... I had better go now... Oh, can I use<br />

the phone?<br />

Of course.<br />

I‘m sorry, mother. Don‘t take it too much to heart... I should not have talked<br />

so much about it, I didn‘t mean to.<br />

I don‘t know what to make of it... Or of you. I feel angry... I resent that you<br />

think you can talk like that, It‘s arrogant... But you make me think.<br />

Perhaps that is the heav<strong>ie</strong>st responsibility, mother, We cause each other to<br />

think... I‘ll be back in a minute...<br />

Yes?<br />

Tony?<br />

Dick!<br />

You recognised my voice?<br />

Of course... You timed it well, I‘ve just walked in the door... Why did you ring<br />

me here and not at the office?<br />

Just did... You were away for the weekend?<br />

Yes, Down in Renvyle.<br />

Nice?<br />

Okay. The weather was pretty messy... when did you come over?<br />

Sunday.<br />

Dun Laoghaire Sunday night?<br />

Of course.<br />

Are you staying at home<br />

No. But I‘m ringing from there.<br />

Give your mother my regards... How is she?<br />

Very well... And yours?<br />

Same as ever... There‘s a new archbishop.<br />

Oh leave her alone, Tony. It‘s harmless... How is your father?<br />

Same as usual... He‘s gone into computers, They wired his department up last<br />

spring. Now he creams off every time his terminal gives him an answer, he thinks it‘s<br />

sc<strong>ie</strong>nce‘s answer to the Summae.<br />

Hah... And what about you?<br />

Me? As per usual... Sucking for promotion. What else?<br />

You sound happy enough, anyway.<br />

What about you? Hit the jackpot yet?<br />

Don‘t think so...<br />

Anything new?<br />

Yes, It‘s with a publisher, haven‘t heard yet.<br />

Good, You‘re still doing it... Let‘s have a drink tonight. I want to hear about it.<br />

Okay. Where?<br />

Where are you staying?<br />

Rathmines.<br />

Good. MacCluskey‘s. Do you know it? In Donnybrook.<br />

Yes.<br />

About half eightish?<br />

168

Okay... Oh, listen. I thought I‘d take a walk in Wicklow later in the week. Can<br />

I borrow your gear?<br />

Sure. What have you got?<br />

Shoes. But I don‘t think they will do.<br />

No. They won‘t, I was up on Garraun on Monday. Very wet, I‘ll give you the<br />

boots. Did you bring a pack?<br />

Yes. Can I have that big parka? The green one. I don‘t think the one I brought<br />

will be any good in this weather.<br />

Sure, I‘ll bring them down tonight. About half eight?<br />

Yes. See you.<br />

Bye.<br />

Was that Tony Hackett?<br />

Yes.<br />

How is he?<br />

He sounds very well. He was down in the West for the weekend... He sends<br />

his regards.<br />

How is his sister?<br />

Catherine? I didn‘t ask... She‘s in the States now.<br />

I know, I‘m glad she has settled down... She was very wild.<br />

Thanks for the phone... I‘ll go on... I‘ll come and see you later in the week.<br />

Not on Thursday, Dick.<br />

Okay... It‘s nice to see you, mother.<br />

And you... You do seem to thrive on whatever it is you‘re doing, Dick.<br />

I‘m glad you think so, mother,<br />

You seem to know what you‘re doing.<br />

I hope so... Goodbye.<br />

Goodbye. Take care,<br />

Dan? It‘s Tony.<br />

Hello... I rang your office this morning.<br />

I got back an hour ago. The journey took longer than I expected. The whole<br />

country is a sodden mess... Dan, I heard about Charley‘s mother on the radio. What<br />

happened?<br />

They were on their way to somewhere in Galway.<br />

In County Leitrim?<br />

Her boyfr<strong>ie</strong>nd had some last-minute business in the North, They were driving<br />

across from that when the accident happened.<br />

How did it happen?<br />

Apparently the car ran off the road at high speed.<br />

Just like that?<br />

Apparently so.<br />

God, Dan. It must be an awful shock.<br />

It is.<br />

169

What do the Guards say?<br />

There‘s no evidence. It crossed the Border in Fermanagh at half ten and<br />

crashed at about eleven.<br />

Do they think anything happened?<br />

They say there‘s no evidence.<br />

What do you think?<br />

There are no grounds for thinking anything else.<br />

Yes... That‘s terrible, Dan. It‘s so pointless,<br />

That‘s the worst of it.<br />

When is the funeral?<br />

Tomorrow morning.<br />

Would you mind if I came? I met Charley‘s mother three or four times, you<br />

know. She was an attractive woman.<br />

If you want to. There won‘t be many.<br />

I‘d like to. For Charley as much as her mother... By the way, I had a look-out<br />

for your trails.<br />

And?<br />

Spot on, Dan.<br />

You mean they were there, Tony?<br />

Sure, I‘ll give you more precise details later. This is probably not the time...<br />

But there were high trails running north south about ten miles off the coast... Hard to<br />

make out with the glasses, though. Sweep wing. Spotted a high tail on one... And oh<br />

listen, there were other planes hanging about. At lower altitude. They might have been<br />

Nimrods. They seemed to fly a box... A long box... I assume they fly out of Derry or<br />

somewhere in the North.<br />

You‘re sure of this?<br />

Sure I‘m sure. I spent Saturday afternoon on the edge of a hill... About a<br />

thousand feet up... And I made notes... Times. Directions. You know... Then I kept an<br />

eye out on Monday... Sunday was an absolute bitch... These flights seem to go on all<br />

the time.<br />

Sounds like you did a thorough job, Tony... More systematic than anything<br />

I‘ve done here.<br />

Well, you wanted evidence, Dan... It was fun, you know... Watching another<br />

opening round of the world war to end world wars.<br />

Thanks, Tony... I‘m grateful to you.<br />

That‘s okay, Dan. For old times sake... I‘ll see you tomorrow... Dean‘s<br />

Grange, is it?<br />